Soulmarks are like the twin of your soul and your soul knows who is that you are going to end up with for the rest of your life. And the thing is, it's permanent. No one can erase it. And if you happen to marry ahead before your marks appeared, it doesn't matter because the universe will aligned for the both and at the end, they'll end up together like there's a written rule that if someone's name appeared in their wrist that means you have to let them go no matter what. Just like what happens to my parents. They separated immediately when dad's current wife's name appeared in his wrist and now, they're happy together and my parents were friends. Which is usual at all.
Masako's name appeared in Tomoya's wrist when he's 18 and since then he looks for her and get married. That's what happens to Ryota and Michelle too.
Apparently, their soulmarks appeared when they're eighteen just like my friends. Which is kinda weird because supposed to be, I also have soulmarks when I turned eighteen but no. Even now that I am 25, it's still bare like it is mocking me that I will be forever alone. Well, I’m not alone though because apparently, Toru’s wrist also bare. We decided to just hit the sack and be together and we’re happy. However, that happiness did not last for too long because just after few months, suddenly a perfectly written in cursive name appeared in Toru's wrist while were making out at our dressing room after one of our shows and that’s all, I was left again.
"I'm so sorry," Toru uttered while looking, inspecting, the characters that appeared in his wrist and a mixed of happiness and confusion started to appear in his face, I just closed my eyes then, unable to see those eyes glittering in what I can call excitement.
My heart squeeze painfully inside my chest, if it's because Toru will be leaving me soon or because I'm jealous that everyone got their marks but not me as I peek at my wrist then, nothing. After that, Toru and I broke up in mutual understanding besides, we cannot hurt his 'other half' by continuing our relationship while that someone is waiting for Toru.
After a year Toru and his soulmate, Riku Aoyama, finally meet. Yeah, the kid has been with us all the time when we're in Saitama for the Rock Sound and they're group happen to also perform in there and the whole 'meeting with your soulmate' was amazingly amusing when suddenly Toru stops in the middle of the hallway and turned around, take a walk to nowhere and then ta-da, they meet, wide eyed, mouth fell open and then closed and both has amazingly red faces. We all left them for privacy, and we don't know what happens in there but when they emerge with hands intertwined with each other and swollen red lips, we all know the indication.
Well, that's actually happened a few months ago while I, just do anything and everything to forget this whole soulmark thing. So what if I don’t have one, that doesn’t mean I’ll die without that, yeah? I didn't think about it most of the time, just moves on with my life, until everything just backs to normal with me, when I catches sight of black ink on the inside of my wrist, under the wristwatch band, one morning. I stare at it for way, way longer than I probably should, unable to finally get a grip on it.
Toru grinned at me when I told him about it and the others just congratulates me for it. Until Toru touches my shoulder ever so gently and gives me that smile of him and says, "Go talk to him." While we’re in the anniversary party of the agency we signed a contract with.
So, I did; I marches straight over to Satoh Takeru, heedless of the conversation I’m interrupting, and demands, "Show me your wrist."
Takeru blinks at me, just once, and then offers his left wrist, where it is bare. I scowl. "The other one," I said, demanding, because for fuck sake, my heart couldn’t stop beating erratically at the moment.
Takeru bit his bottom lip, contemplating before finally rolling his sleeves and shows to me the black ink that adorned his pale inside wrist in bold strokes with a hint of gold in the lining, it’s beautiful that I almost cry. Morita Takahiro. I then look at him in disbelief. “How long it has been in your wrist?”
“Since I was eighteen.” He calmly said.
"Is this part of the reason why we're friends and that you look so not happy when Toru and I announces that we're dating?"
Takeru nodded and then look down. I bit my bottom lip. I hurt him. I heard a lot of stories that your soulmate suffers when you are with someone else.
"You never said," I said, gritting my teeth, unable to contain anymore the feelings I’ve been suppressing inside, still staring down at his wrist even as the man shrugs his sleeve back over the mark.
"Nor you," Takeru says, and I make a face.
"I didn't know," I admit, and one of Takeru’s eyebrows rises just a little. "It’s bare until this morning.” I show him then my wrist with his name in red and black bold strokes, stood out among the tattoos I have in the area. The area was still swollen like a newly tattooed skin.
“You don’t like me that way,” he said, above whisper that if I’m not close enough I wouldn’t have heard it.
“That’s fucking lame,” I said, “I’ve been waiting for this and you’re just gonna tell me that I don’t like you that way? Bullshit Takeru, we’ve been friends for a fucking decade and then you’ll tell me that fucking lame excuse.” Because it’s utterly fucking frustrating that I don’t know if I wanted to punch him straight into the face or what.
“How should I know when all this time you’re with Toru,”
"And what? You just let me, just because I am with Toru?” yeah because he didn’t know that Toru already found his mate and they’re happy now, together.
“Taka you’re happy with him,” he said then walks away from me, from the people who started raising their eyebrows at us in question, I follow him then into the more secluded area of the building.
“That doesn’t mean you’re just gonna turn your back to me, aren’t you supposed to be in love with me because I am your fucking soulmate?”
“I am,” he said which taken me aback, “And it hurts me to see you with someone, if you only knew.”
“Because above all else, I want you to be happy.” That makes sense.
That had me silence.
“I’ve been waiting for that day too that I would finally meet my mate, be with him, with you since the day your name appeared in my wrist. But I can’t just take your happiness away from you just because you’re supposed to be with me.” He sighed, “I can’t just do that.”
“Toru found his mate almost a year ago.” I silently told him.
Silence as he just stares at me.
I raise my eyebrows to him, “What do you mean?”
“I mean,” he bit is bottom lip again and the butterflies in my stomach declared riot inside because that was so fucking sexy, “What do we do now?”
I sighed, “I don’t know about you, but I want to kiss you right now and stop my heart from beating so fast, I couldn’t breathe.”
The next time I took my breathe is when Takeru’s stop kissing me to breathe some air and then I was being pushed into the wall and was devoured. Not that I could actually complain when I was asking for this. When I am actually aching for this for too long now and I am just so happy to give this man the things he should have already claimed a long time ago.
Toru chuckled on the other line when I told him that I was going home and that he shouldn’t expect me to go to the studio tomorrow. Because he understood the indication already.