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50 Things Sideswipe wishes He'd never seen

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  1. Prowl’s forbidden files ( they were terrifying)
  2. Sunstreaker without any armour on ( the streaker part of his name does mean something)
  3. The embarrassing shaped scar on my aft ( it’s not pleasant. Sunstreaker laughs when he sees it because he remembers how I got it)
  4. Sunstreaker beating me after a sparring match ( he gloats and insults me)
  5. Jazz’s forbidden files ( his files are nightmare inducing)
  6. The stuff rust sticks are made of ( when I found that out. I didn’t eat any treats for a full month)
  7. Sunstreaker crying ( It is the worst thing)
  8. The Dinobots at feeding time ( it was an absolute mess)
  9. Storage room 14 A ( that room is filled with kinky stuff that I don’t want to know who owns it all)
  10. The Decepticon wash racks with Decepticons in it ( a special ops mission that I got lost on. I saw things I will never repeat to anyone)
  11. Starscream, Thundercracker and Skywarp in compromising positions in a canyon while on patrol ( My audio’s never fully recovered from Starscream’s vocals and Thundercracker’s sonic waves)
  12. Skywarp and Thundercracker kissing like crazy ( I should delete my video footage of the nemesis or sell it)
  13. Megatron and Soundwave in compromising positions in the throne room ( I blame my spy cameras for this one)
  14. Sunstreaker cooking ( the mess he leaves and it tastes disgusting)
  15. Ratchet’s personal quarters ( there were energon stains on the tools hanging on the wall)
  16. That one time on Halloween Sunstreaker’s costume “ mysteriously” blew up Marilyn Monroe style ( the only way the costume would fit required Sunstreaker to remove his pelvic armour so he flashed the entire ark. My optics never recovered)
  17. Sunstreaker dressed as a scary clown ( he was terrifying and he was carrying an axe)
  18. Tracks lip syncing “ Uptown Girl” only with his pelvic armour on ( I am never listening to that song again)
  19. Sunstreaker wearing a Decepticon symbol and had red optics ( it was horrible)
  20. Some unattractive femmes sunbathing ( it was awful)
  21. Sunstreaker wounded ( I hate seeing my strong powerful brother in pain)
  22. Prowl smiling at me ( it is creepy)
  23. Sunstreaker high on pain killers ( he becomes all cuddly and hugging anything in reach)
  24. The mini bots the size of giants ( Wheeljack’s failed attempt at making a shrink ray)
  25. Sunstreaker’s bare aft ( he was in the process of cleaning his armour)
  26. Sunstreaker overcharged singing and dancing like Freddy Mercury ( it was so bad and funny at the same time)
  27. Wheeljack’s unmasked face ( it is not a pretty sight)
  28. Prowl and Jazz arguing which turned into makeup interfacing ( I left the room and they didn’t notice but I saw hands wandering)
  29. The dead organic in my quarters ( no wonder Sunstreaker complained about the smell)
  30. Bluestreak and Bumblebee entering an empty storage area with hands wandering everywhere ( I don’t think those two are innocent anymore)
  31. Jazz doing yoga ( transformers should not be able to bend like that)
  32. My porn collection in the waste disposal ( I know Sunstreaker did it)
  33. Sunstreaker playing with his dolls ( they are creepy with their unmoving eyes)
  34. The Decepticon cells ( they keep pieces of dead mechs in there)
  35. Shockwave with a face ( it was weird)
  36. Wheeljack’s laboratory ( so many pieces of failed experiments and junk)
  37. Red Alert’s personal files ( that guy seriously needs therapy)
  38. Sunstreaker in berserker mode holding a severed helm ( I’m glad it was not mine)
  39. Hound and Mirage in compromising positions in the woods ( I never want to leave the Ark)
  40. A Decepticon med bay ( there were puddles of fluids and the tools were dripping energon)
  41. Sunstreaker lip syncing “ Sexy and I know it” in the wash racks without armour ( absolutely funny but so wrong)
  42. Soundwave without his face mask ( it was not pretty)
  43. Sunstreaker eating organic food and then throwing up( it was a dare. Ratchet had to give him a tank flush)
  44. Shockwave’s private laboratory ( it was horrifying, puddles of fluids and the tools were dripping energon)
  45. Megatron and Shockwave in compromising positions in a Decepticon laboratory ( I saw this while being tied down and about to be experimented on)
  46. Sunstreaker’s porn collection ( it only contained pictures of himself in sexy poses)
  47. Starscream’s personal files ( it was all pictures of himself, narcissist)
  48. Sunstreaker surrounded by his destroyed artwork ( he wouldn’t stop crying for a few hours)
  49. The main seeker trine without their armour ( this happened when I was stuck in the Decepticon wash racks)
  50. Sunstreaker covered in energon pointing his blaster at me ( he was in full berserker mode)