There aren’t a lot of good things about war. Steve can actually only think of one good thing and that’s the fact that one’s urges tend to go on lockdown. The last thing an alpha wants is to need to rut and deal with a knot. The last thing an omega wants is to be desperately needing and conceiving in a time of such uncertainty.
Steve never developed one way or another. Too sick and too frail. All the things alpha boys did, never happened to Steve. He never popped a knot, rarely got hard, didn’t notice or care that an omega was in heat. So, he never ever thought he was an alpha.
But, he didn’t get slick or soft when a rutting alpha was nearby like an omega should, either. He’d never felt the urge to present or the need to be bitten. His glands never tingled under his skin with the need to be claimed.
Even worse, he’d never played or tussled with alphas or omegas, because it had seemed stupid and rather embarrassing. Alphas trying to grind up against omega’s behinds, walking around with their hard cocks poking out, massaging their knot. It was weird and awful.
And omegas would have wet stains at the back of their pants from leaking slick and that was gross too. The idea of being proud of that or okay with it was disgusting. Anyway, Steve’d had no interest in any of that when he was younger. And then he’d gotten the serum, and while everyone was pretty sure he was something, it was hard to tell what with the war on and his biology on lockdown.
Add in the healthy dose of suppressants they gave him and he may as well have been a null.
But, now he’s out of the ice and he’s got to fill out his SHIELD forms before he can do much of anything, and he has no idea what to write down under secondary gender.
“What if I don’t know the answer to some of the questions?” Steve asks, looking up from the table.
“Then you leave it blank or ask me, I guess,” Phil says. His gaze cuts to the paper and then away, trying to not be nosy or something.
“Can I put down null or unknown for secondary gender?” That’s what he used to do.
The pause is uncomfortable. “Null? Well, is that accurate?”
“I used to be. I had the serum and nothing has changed as far as I know.”
“Well, my understanding of null means you’ve never popped a knot or gotten slick? Just… never.”
“That’s correct,” Steve says. And Steve’s feeling something that might be embarrassment. Maybe shame? It’s awful to be a freak again.
He can see Phil thinking. “But, that means you and Agent Carter— you know what? None of my business,” he says, waving his hand to dismiss it. “Actually, I just, I have to know. I mean, you had her picture in your compass?”
“I cut it out of the newspaper,” he says.
“Let’s… never mind.”
Which is good, because Phil is right, it’s none of his fucking business. Everyone thinks he and Peggy had a grand romance, Peggy seemed like she’d decided that was useful and so he’s happy to let it stand. What does he care? He’d cut her picture out of the paper and put it in his compass because she’d done a lot for him. She was there from the beginning of his life’s purpose. She always reminded him of what was important. And there’d been more than one time where he wasn’t sure what to do or if he had the strength to keep going and seeing her severe smile, imagining what she’d say, had been motivating.
In general, he always imagined her saying ‘Come on, girls,’ or punching Hodge in the face. There were no excuses, just get up and do the job. And if you see a bully, punch him. Peggy was ruthless, more ruthless than Steve. He’d always ask himself what would Peggy do if the situation warranted it. Finish the mission at all costs. Deceive, harm, sacrifice, whatever was needed, just get it done. He just hadn’t related to anyone else in quite the same way. Two people trying to do jobs no one else thought they were capable of.
Maybe that’s why she’d kissed him. He’d sort of thought it was because he was going to die and what guy wouldn’t want a kiss from a pretty dame before going out in a blazing inferno? But maybe it had meant something that he’d put her picture in his compass without her permission. Not friends but sweethearts. Not a reminder of his mission and purpose but romantic. Steve isn’t surprised he got that wrong, too.
“What about playmate groups?”
“I never did that,” Steve said, with a weak shrug. Too frail, too sick. When he turned 13, he went once, but he’d looked 10 and that was the end of that. He’d sat out. No one had approached him. He’d not made any alpha or omega think of mating. And with his scoliosis and asthma, not to mention his heart condition, he’d just never gone back.
He’d been terrified of presenting, of the curve in his back and some alpha looming behind him, seeing exactly how deformed he was. And why on earth would they have wanted to rut against him?
“You know what?” Phil says, smiling weakly at him. “Leave it blank. They’ll work it out.”
Phil has to go to a meeting with Fury and so Steve takes his paperwork to HR on his own. The gal behind the desk has a warm scent that intensifies as she looks him up and down. He can’t help but check to make sure the top button of his shirt is done up.
“Captain,” she says, eyeing him up and down. She’s an omega. Steve wants to back up and walk away. She glances at the form. Frowns. “You didn’t fill out a section.”
“I didn’t know what to put,” he says, shrugging and trying to give her a smile.
She frowns. “I can’t take paperwork if it isn’t complete. They’ll just bounce it back to you.”
“Bucky!” she yells, peering around Steve, to a man passing down the hall.
“What’s up, Doris?” The man says, and stands next to Steve at the counter.
“Bucky, this is Captain Rogers. Captain this is Sergeant Barnes, but we call him Bucky. He’s the person you want to talk to about your paperwork.” And she gives it to the man, sliding it across the counter. Bucky puts his hand over it, just as Steve tries to take it back.
Steve’s frozen, maybe afraid. He doesn’t want Bucky to see. Which is weird because he’s never really cared one way or another about being null. It’d been a bit of a relief. But the man next to him smells like… he doesn’t actually know, it’s just intense and interesting and he looks at Bucky’s neck, knows there’s a scent gland there and wishes, for the first time in his entire life, that he could press his face to his skin and get a better idea of exactly what Bucky smells like.
Steve just needs to get closer.
Bucky glances at the paperwork, blinks and smiles at Steve. “Come on, I have some time right now.”
He gestures for Steve to follow him. He’s just about the same height as Steve, maybe a bit younger. He’s muscular and in good shape but not nearly as broad as Steve. Who is? His brown hair is tucked behind his ears and straight. It looks soft and thick. He’s not used to men with longer hair. Doesn’t usually like it as it seems sloppy or something, but it suits the man in front of him.
They leave HR and go down a long hallway. He swipes a key card and they enter an office that’s a hell of a lot different than any other office he’s seen at SHIELD. First of all, it’s more than one room. There’s a real office space that has a desk and two chairs as well as a couch and a table, but then there’s another room that’s filled with plants and glass and the skyline is obscured because there’s some sort of water feature that has water pouring down the windows. It’s oddly tropical.
“Let’s talk in the good room,” he says, and heads into the atrium. There’s a bathroom off to the side and a small kitchen area off to the left.
“This is your office?”
“Yeah, you’d think I was important, wouldn’t you?” Bucky says, and winks at him. It’s charming and comfortable. It manages to put Steve at ease a little. In fact, he can feel it happening. His shoulders lowering a little. Steve can even breathe more easily. If the man next to him wasn’t beautiful, he’d still want to be near him just because he feels so good to be around.
Steve chuckles, weakly, taking in all the plants.
“Let’s do the full experience. Take off your shoes.”
He knows he hasn’t misheard because Bucky takes his shoes off. He was only wearing flip flops which is the sort of casualness Steve usually notices and disapproves of. Steve hadn’t even noticed. The man is very, very distracting. Steve takes off his shoes and his socks, feels more than a little awkward. “Okay. Wait, I should have asked. You don’t have to be anywhere for the next hour, do you?”
Steve’s stomach flips and a blush crawls up his cheeks. “No, the day was meant to be paperwork.”
“Great. That’s what I thought. Okay, so go into the bathroom and put on the… just come with me,” he says, and goes to the bathroom. It’s huge and has a shower. He opens a cupboard, pulls out a pair of folded trousers and a long sleeved shirt that’s solid gray, like Bucky’s. “This should fit. Put these on and then come back to where we were.”
Bucky leaves him there, closing the door and Steve puts them on. The pants are black, a very thin cotton and soft. They are somewhere between shorts and pants. It’s a weird length. And the shirt is soft and comfortable.
Frankly, he’s curious to see what is going to happen next. This is the nicest place he’s been in since he woke up. The quiet, the sound of the water, the heat of the room, it’s all really nice and Bucky is… well, if the whole point of this job is to figure out if someone is an alpha or an omega, he can see why Bucky has it. He’s beautiful. He’s calm. His eyes are hypnotizing, his smile feels sincere and he smells incredible. As Steve goes back out in the ultra comfortable clothes, Bucky runs a hand through said hair and Steve’s hand twitches, wishing he could touch too. Bucky smiles at Steve and gestures for him to come over.
“Go ahead,” he says, and points at a man made creek, no more than four feet across, with gently rushing water that extends beyond a line of plants.
“It’s a bit much, isn’t it? You walk through the water and there’s another room on the other side.”
“I don’t know. SHIELD had money to squander? I’m sort of kidding. We deal with a lot of PTSD and trauma of all kinds and that can really screw up people’s responses and ability to access their gender. If they can’t behave as they’re meant to, it’s got negative physical and psychological consequences. And, if people are under strain they’re even less likely to react instinctively. They’ll react based upon conditioning. Which is typically a trauma response and defensiveness. When you’ve been militarily trained, that’s extra problematic. Money was spent to help encourage people to come hang out here. Feeling safe, being able to relax and stay calm, reflective, that’s all necessary. Typically, when someone comes here for an appointment, they’ll change, they might shower, they’ll spend time alone in the plant room and when they’re ready, they come to the other side. Sometimes that’s a few minutes, sometimes it’s half an hour. I think it’s a relief. People are so scared they’re fucked up and broken. Like, look around, this room and even the entire department should prove that everyone is fucked up,” he says, in a friendly way.
Steve opens his mouth to say something but he has no idea what. He closes it again. His throat is swollen with emotion. He’s always been broken. Isolated and alone. The idea that other people are messed up, that it’s common because gender is complicated? It’s an overwhelming idea to process. What if maybe he isn’t nothing, he’s just… traumatized or confused?
“Well, it works. It’s really nice,” Steve finally says.
Bucky steps into the creek and waits for Steve to do the same. Steve steps in and the water is cold, but considering the temperature of the room, it’s nice. Smooth rocks are set in the cement and he follows the path, Bucky giving him space to go first. It’s only twenty or thirty steps before he needs to step out and into another large room. He should have walked slower, he thinks. The room is filled with mats. Steve steps onto a clean towel and waits. It’s cooler in this room and there isn’t a hint of scent which is unusual.
“Did you have a playmate growing up?” Bucky asks.
“No,” he says, and starts to blush. Steve crosses his arms, defensive.
“Can I touch you?”
“Yes,” he says, and before Steve can second-guess his easy acceptance, Bucky reaches out, takes his forearms in his and makes him open up his posture. Steve holds his breath and tries not to tense up or pull away. His hands slide down to Steve’s. Steve waits. Bucky’s hands are warm and gentle.
“Good,” Bucky says, his thumbs brushing gently over the top of Steve’s hands. “I’ll just start from the beginning. I’m sure things have changed anyway.”
“Probably,” Steve says, gruffly. He can’t help but stare at where Bucky is touching him. No one touches him. He’s not ever seen his hands, like this, being held by someone else. It makes him look… normal? Emotion is heavy in his chest.
He’d sort of like to leave now. He hears Bucky inhale. Steve flinches and settles back into Bucky’s grip, not wanting him to let go.
Bucky’s voice is quiet and soothing. “You’re doing well. It’s odd, I know. Right. Where to start? Typically, when children turn ten they start going to play group. It’s very innocent. There’s wrestling and chatting and it is not sexual. Sometime between ten and twelve there’s a change. The child finds themselves presenting or mounting more often than not and when it’s no longer quite as innocent they get put into the next group. That’s typically twelve to fourteen. From that point onwards, there’s a clear preference for most people and they’re either more inclined towards being an alpha or an omega. They pretend to rut, or play at being in heat, and it’s basically lots of sweaty teenagers grinding it out. The smell is eye watering. Anyway, about half find someone they get along with well and that they want to pair up with. They’re scent compatible, biologically compatible and they sync up for heat and rut. Assuming one has a partner they like, they usually start to practice. This has multiple purposes but the goal for an omega is to become comfortable with having an alpha behind them, in rut and hyper aggressive, and to submit. The worst thing that can happen is for an omega to panic while being knotted. Everyone gets hurt if that happens. For an alpha, the goal is to not have the alpha lose themselves to rut. They don’t think clearly, they only want to get off and if they don’t know how to handle their rut, they can seriously hurt their omega. If an alpha is calm and in control, is concerned about their omega more than their knot, everything is fine.”
He gives Steve a rather stern look and he wonders what Bucky’s gender is. He’d assumed Bucky was an alpha but now he isn’t sure. Bucky just seems so disapproving that Steve wonders if it’s personal experience. “Omegas are hard wired to protect themselves. They’re usually panicky. The urge to give in to mounting has to be encouraged over time. Despite what alphas like to believe, it’s unnatural to stay relaxed and trust one’s partner. Vulnerability and receptiveness to mounting are hard-wired into most omegas. But, so is fear.”
Steve flinches. Bucky’s gaze flicks down to Steve’s hand. He gives it a squeeze and lets him go, opening his hands so Steve can be the one to pull away. Steve wants to and doesn’t. He likes the connection. Steve stares for too long at his large hands resting in Bucky’s, unable or unwilling to stop touching him. Bucky’s hands gently close again, give him a gentle squeeze.
“Very well done,” Bucky murmurs, quietly.
Steve breaks out into goosebumps. He’s apparently done something right, but he doesn’t know what.
“If the alpha isn’t good at staying calm, if they get too riled up, the omega will panic. Always. It doesn’t matter how many encounters an omega has had with an alpha, it only takes one bad one and that’s very difficult to overcome,” he says, gently.
Steve nods, like he understands. He doesn’t. He can imagine. It sounds awful, but that’s all.
“Anyway, pseudo heats start at around 15 and real heats usually come on around 18. The goal is to have teenagers be comfortable enough with their gender and their needs by the time the first real heat hits. The intensity of a real heat compared to a pseudo heat is challenging. A lot of instincts are not helpful, omegas can become confused and their arousal is typically frightening. In a lot of places, it’s now approached like combat training. Practice enough that the body remembers what to do even if the mind is in a panic.”
He waits for Steve to say something. “I didn’t know that. It wasn’t like that when I was growing up. They just… tied the omega up for mounting.” The family would do it. Get the omega ready, the alpha would come in and rut, an overly concerned parent might stay nearby, but typically the omega was mounted and bred and when the heat and rut passed, they were released.
Steve hadn’t really thought anything about it. It just was. It sounded… scary. But, it wasn’t like there was another option. It was for everyone’s protection. To keep the alpha calm, to keep the omega receptive.
“I thought omegas liked restraint,” Steve says, because he should say something.
“Lie back and think of their alpha? No. Omegas have a choice now in who they marry, who they’re mated to. They don’t have to stay mated if their alpha is abusive. There are a lot of protections nowadays. But, it isn’t perfect. And… omegas who go into heat without a plan and a partner they trust can get hurt. Riding out a heat alone usually results in self harm. Lust without the calming affects of a mate has a tendency to turn to anger and maybe self-loathing, the pleasure receptors get confused and what feels good is typically a hell of a lot rougher than is a good idea.”
“You mean an Omega Frenzy.”
“Right. That’s not actually the term we use anymore. Omega Frenzy, Heat Madness, those are both no longer acceptable. It’s got a lot of connotations and implications that omegas find offensive. But, the idea behind it, that an omega would be out of control and unstable due to not having a partner to be with them during that time is real. It’s just called hormonal imbalance now.
Steve nods. He wants to pull away. The idea of hurting one’s self, making irrational decisions because one’s needs aren’t met, unsettles him. Bucky squeezes his hands and lets them go. Bucky wanders over to the corner of the room where there are cushions and sits down, gestures for Steve to sit next to him. It’s a relief when Bucky gives him his back. He takes a deep breath and his legs are a little weak. It sort of reminds him of when he had arrhythmia.
He follows him and sits down, just out of touching distance. What is Bucky? It’s rude to ask.
“This is where my job comes in. That scenario is the best case outcome. A child gets through the system, gets their needs matched, finds a partner and turns eighteen and everything is fine. And that’s typically what happens 80% of the time. But, that leaves a hell of a lot of people who have something atypical happen with their presentation. The ability to bond, to have a relationship, to engage in healthy dynamics or even figure out what they like can get fucked up very, very quickly and can have life long consequences. Coping mechanisms and preferences develop in puberty. They become more entrenched and because someone is in a heightened state, it can be very difficult to shift them out of unhealthy patterns. Funnily enough, people who work at SHIELD are typically part of that 20%. They don’t react to violence correctly. They find it exciting and get off on it because of the hormonal imbalances they may not even notice.”
Steve thinks about protesting but Bucky hasn’t specifically called him out, Steve just feels like he’s been identified. He’s always loved a good fight. His mother had despaired of him. Called him unnatural and had expected his heat or rut to come on and sort him right out. She’d joked about needing the whole building to help tie him down when the time came. She’d thought he’d be an omega.
“Violence can be its own coping mechanism as it shuts down the body’s natural urges. It isn’t safe for an omega to go into heat if they’re surrounded by violence. The body protects itself. Very few people are null. But, there are a lot of people who have no interest in dealing with their biology and who’ve found a way to shut it down. Or, if they can’t shut it down but have trauma in their background, then the best thing for them is suppressants. It’s really up to the individual.”
And then Bucky waits.
“You think I like violence so I don’t go into heat or rut?”
“I don’t know. It’s common, but I’m not you and I wouldn’t want to guess. What do you think?”
Steve really has no idea. He’s just always gotten into fights. But there were reasons. It felt right in the moment. “I don’t know.”
“Well, you could go by timing. Heat and rut is every three months. Did you get into a fight every three months?”
“M-maybe.” He isn’t really sure. What if it was more than that? He’s scared to ask.
“Or did it feel like an urge that would build? Did you get antsy and look for a fight?”
“I don’t know,” he says, again.
“Okay. Something to think about,” Bucky says, gently.
“So… what do you do?” Steve asks.
“Oh!” Bucky says, and laughs. He seems a bit embarrassed. “Any issues or questions, we deal with in Gender Resources. That can be helping someone get over trauma, mimicking play or heat/rut, talking, it sort of depends upon the person.”
Steve looks around the room, unsure what he should do now. That wasn’t what he meant. He wants to know if Bucky is an alpha or an omega.
“A different question might be if you had trauma in your background?” Bucky asks gently.
“I don’t have… trauma or anything. I just never… nothing ever happened. And I went once to a play group and it wasn’t a good fit. I didn’t like anyone and no one liked me, and that was sort of the end.”
“Why wasn’t play group a good fit?”
“I looked really young. And, um, I was… sick.” It’s odd that this still upsets him. He’s no longer that person, but it doesn’t matter. The shame of it all, how unwanted he was, how malformed and wrong he felt, it’s like it clings to him. It’s still vivid and real and even if it’s not visible anymore, it’s defined him. He hates having to talk about who he was. How much he didn’t fit and wasn’t wanted. “And, they said it was noticeable in my… scent. No one was interested in me and I didn’t even want to be there, so that was just the end of that.”
Steve shrugs, wanting to move on and never bring it up again.
“I’m sorry. That sounds like an awful experience. I’m sure you know you don’t have a sick scent anymore. People would be interested in having you as a partner if that’s something you want. Even if you want to explore the idea or get to know what you like, it’s never too late.”
“I don’t know,” he says, blushing again.
“Do you feel drawn to alphas or omegas? Or do you know what gender you identify with?”
“I don’t know,” Steve says, hugging his knees. And yet. “What are you?” He asks, because he can’t even guess. He’s pretty sure he should know.
“You can’t tell?” Bucky asks, but it’s done playfully.
Steve is embarrassed, his heart beats fast and his stomach does a twisting sort of feeling like he sometimes gets before something terrifying happens. He has no idea what Bucky is but he really would like to know. He’d like to scent Bucky properly. Which isn’t a big deal to most people but is to Steve. Steve only ever scented his ma. A lot of people have tried to scent him in passing or offered to let Steve scent them since he got the serum, but he was always struck dumb by the idea, shocked and scared that anyone would want to and people assumed he was offended by the question. They took his silence and stiffness for disdain and refusal and Steve was happy to let that reputation endure.
“Maybe… would I know if I scented you?” Steve asks, voice steady. It feels very risqué and revealing to ask. Even though it shouldn’t be. It’s a really normal question. He’s never asked anyone.
“You might,” Bucky says, and he extends a hand.
Steve stares at it with the same intense scrutiny he’d give to the Tesseract or some other alien thing. Bucky turns his hand over, palm up, fingers relaxed.
Reaching out and touching Bucky feels like a big deal. It’s too much. And what’s the point?
“No, thank you,” he says, and tries to laugh it off. “I wouldn’t actually be able to tell I don’t think.”
Bucky stands up and goes to the other side of the room, comes back with a square of white cotton that he’s rubbing over his wrist. He sits back down, holds it out to Steve. “I know you don’t hate my scent,” he says, trying to catch Steve’s eye.
“How do you know?”
“You wouldn’t have suggested scenting me if you thought it was bad.”
“Oh,” Steve says. It sounds obvious when Bucky says it like that. “Usually, I just don’t like the way people smell. I couldn’t smell anything before the serum. Now my senses are heightened and it’s often just too much. I don’t know if anything is good or bad, really. It’s just a lot and… um, too much.”
He looks at Bucky, wanting to see if he’s lying. The truth is, that’s his biggest concern. Always. He’s always just wanted to be normal. He’s never wanted people to look at him and linger. To think about how small he is and how broken. That he’s sick and doesn’t smell right, that he’s weak.
Then he was big and now he didn’t and still doesn’t want people to think about how he’s the exact opposite of all that he was, because it feels like a lie or like it belongs to someone else. People really want to scent him now. They really want him to be an alpha. Steve just wants to be…ugh, he doesn’t even know.
“However, I won’t be offended if you don’t like my scent,” Bucky says, sincerely.
“Why not?” Steve got into more than one fight after some asshole said he stank. It’s a common enough taunt between children.
“Enough people like my scent. No one is appealing to everyone,” he shrugs, dismissively.
“I wear blockers,” Steve says, as if he’s confessing a guilty secret.
“You do,” Bucky agrees.
Steve blushes. “You can tell?” Do blockers have a scent too? He thought it would smell like nothing.
“It’s not uncommon.”
“Can you tell what’s under it? My… how I smell now?” He asks, almost scared to know. He’s never asked anyone how he smells, he just sees the way people’s nostrils flare if they get close. Why the fuck is he asking now?
Bucky’s smile is almost sad. He sees more of Steve than Steve is comfortable with. Steve chews his bottom lip absently.
“Your blockers aren’t actually very good. I have a good idea of what your scent is like and it’s very nice. Blockers are almost like paint. If you’ve got a blue canvas and you put white on top, it’s still blue, just a different shade. Your blockers are very mild and probably go better for floral scents because it’s a heavy hit of sandalwood and bergamot and that makes your scent more muddy than anything else. Nothing is sharp or bright. Without really scenting you properly, I’d guess your scent is rather clean and mellow. So, if you were just trying to obscure your natural scent you might want something citrus based.”
“Oh.” Steve had no idea. He feels stupid and ignorant.
“If you wanted to entice, I’d highly recommend fig, possibly a warm vanilla, subtle rather than artificial. You could do a vanilla bean infused oil after a shower but then you’d really be having to keep people away.” Bucky narrows his gaze. “And I don’t have the impression that’s what you want, either.”
“So, my scent isn’t bad?” The question comes out softer than he meant it to.
“No, your scent is very nice. If you decide you want to get new blockers, let me know and I’ll help you.”
“I couldn’t ask you to do that,” he says. How would that happen? Would Bucky sniff his neck, put something on Steve’s scent glands and then press his nose there? Steve runs his hands up and down his arms, more goosebumps, a hint of warmth low in his groin.
Bucky shrugs. “It’s actually my job. It’s not a hardship, Steve.”
He takes the square of cotton from Bucky but can’t bring himself to raise it to his face. He’ll just look so ridiculous. He’s concerned he’ll really like it and Bucky will see and mock him. It’d just be too revealing.
Which is not how an alpha behaves. Alpha’s scent omegas. They take it as their right. And they’re happy to have an omega scent them. “I don’t think… I don’t think I could be an alpha even if I wanted to. A lot of it just doesn’t come naturally.”
Bucky nods, thoughtfully. “Yeah, there’s definitely expectations of alphas to be in charge of mating protocols. Asking an omega out, being the one in charge, making decisions, being able to please the omega sexually, dominance is a big part of being an alpha according to stereotype. But, it’s not like it used to be. A lot of people want a sensitive alpha. Most omegas define themselves as modern. Even a few generations ago, a lot of omegas found pride in subservience. That’s what they were encouraged to like. I think it’s pretty clear that just served the alphas who were running society. But, omegas now demand to be seduced and wooed, they have a say in decisions. Omegas have a choice. Alphas respect that. Omegas want an alpha who thinks of them as an equal and treats them with respect. Not all of them, there are always people who want to cling to traditional roles, but a lot. It’s also very common for people to experiment now, too. You might meet someone and feel like an alpha when you’re with them, want to behave like an alpha would, and then you meet someone else and it’s ass up and ready,” he says, chuckling.
“Yeah, that makes sense,” he says, unable to look at Bucky. He isn’t sure it does make sense. He knows his face is bright red.
“One can live their life however they want and there is likely someone who wants the same thing.” Steve has no idea what Bucky is getting at with that. “Alphas can be uncomfortable being alphas. They can reject that. It happens. But, honestly, one doesn’t know until they try sometimes. Especially if you didn’t experiment during adolescence. Whatever your natural urges are, they’re likely pretty well buried. Not all alphas pop a knot, not all omegas produce slick despite what tradition would like us to believe.”
And then Bucky is waiting again. Steve has to say something. “I don’t… I don’t want to reach for someone and then… do things to them. Not ever, I don’t think.” So, Bucky must think Steve is an alpha if this is conversation. Right?
“Do you mean you don’t want touching at all or you don’t want to be the one doing it?”
“I don’t want to do it,” he says.
“Okay. Sometimes, that’s just something one has to get past. All sex is weird in theory, but you like someone and so you give it a shot, and then maybe it’s good or intriguing enough you do weird things again. Sometimes, those weird sex things become great and then you get used to it. And, sometimes it’s genuinely just not what someone wants. And that’s up to you. From a work perspective and health perspective, I’d urge you to consider exploring your gender because drugs aren’t all that effective for everyone and especially when you factor in the serum, dosages can be really tricky. But, if you’re against it, then you are. It’s whatever you want to make of it.”
“You think I’m an alpha.”
Bucky is quiet for a long moment. “I have no idea what you are,” he finally says.
“My mother was a beta,” Steve confesses.
Bucky’s brows raise. “That’s pretty rare.”
There’s no judgement which is good. Steve is very protective of his mother. Even if it is just her memory. “She was a good mother.”
“I’m sure she was,” he says, softly. “About 10% of the population are beta. Their rights haven’t come quite as far, simply because they’re more of a minority and people don’t really care all that much. Also, a lot of betas hide what they are. They can pass one way or another fairly well.”
“They don’t have a knot,” Steve says.
“True. I guess they can more easily pass for omega,” he says. “Well, women can,” Bucky corrects. Because they might not produce slick but they can still get wet. Male betas don’t get slick. They don’t have a knot. There was a lot of prejudice against them when Steve was growing up.
“She didn’t tell me for a long time,” Steve says, shrugging. She kept quiet about it, didn’t even trust Steve enough to tell him.
“It’s still complicated to tell people. Most betas don’t lead with it. They let the world make their own assumptions. There are surgeries now, too. Male betas can get surgery and have an implant that mimics a knot. Female betas can take hormones to increase their lubrication if they want to pass as an omega.”
That pisses Steve off. “She was as good a mother as any omega,” he says.
Bucky smiles at him. “I’m sure she was. Do you think you might be a beta?”
Steve shrugs. “It’s just as likely as anything else at this point.”
Bucky runs his hand through his hair. Steve watches him from under his lashes, wishing he was the one who could do that. An image comes to him, fully formed and vivid, Bucky pushing him back to the mat, Steve getting to run his hands through his hair as it makes a curtain around them, surrounding Steve in his alpha’s scent and the feel of him. Shock goes through him. He’s never wanted anyone so viscerally. Doesn’t this mean he’s an omega?
“Betas are not genderless. They have wants and needs just like anyone else. They might switch between being more alpha or more omega, but they’re not null.”
“Okay,” Steve says, lost in his own thoughts.
“You can’t go on a mission until SHIELD knows you’re not going to go into a heat or a rut. I don’t think you’re null.”
“What am I?” His voice trembles, he can smell the bitterness creeping into his scent. He needs an answer.
“That’s not my place to say. I’m not you. I’m just here to help you figure it out. War is over. I think there’s a good chance you’ll know in a month or two unless you get sufficient violence to tamp it down. And, WWII is not going to be replicated in the field. There’s a good chance your gender will make itself known pretty soon. I wouldn’t want to be surprised if I were you.”
“If you know what I am, why can’t you just tell me?” Should he beg? Demand? What would work?
“Swee— Steve, it doesn’t work that way. Easy, everything is fine. Take a deep breath.”
“How do I figure it out?” Steve asks. He’s terrified and he isn’t sure why.
“We’d start very, very small,” he says, meeting Steve’s gaze. “Very basic dominance play games to see how you react. Non-sexual, non-threatening.”
“Who do I do that with?”
“With me. Now. If you want.”
“I want to know.”
“Okay. It’s very easy. I promise. Put your hands out,” Bucky says, and gets turned towards him, legs crossed under him. Steve obeys, knows his face is getting red, his heart pounding and ears ringing. Bucky’s hands go under his, leaving a few inches between their palms. Steve swallows hard, stares at his hands.
“Try not to let me slap your hands,” he says, and lightning fast he’s smacked the top of Steve’s hand, his hand coming up and over Steve’s. Steve gasps, shocked. Bucky laughs. “The element of surprise. Anyway, that’s all it is. It doesn’t seem like much and it’s not very tactile or complicated so it’s an easy place to start. Ready? Try again.”
Steve doesn’t want to. He can’t even explain or hope to explain why he doesn’t want to. His hand tingles, his breath is stalled in his chest and he’s nervous and fluttery inside. It’s like the first time a shell went off too close. And he’s going to go back into that?
Steve is being ridiculous. Over reacting. Dramatic. It’s a hand game. Children do this. That’s all. Steve puts his hands out and Bucky doesn’t move.
“Look at me. It’s a bit of a cheat if you’re looking at my hands.”
Steve looks up, swallows back a whimper. Bucky’s eyes are such a pretty pale blue. Steve’s gaze slides away from Bucky. It’s hard to drag it back again. He tries looking above him, at his forehead and wonders if Bucky knows. That it’s difficult and Steve’s halfway to wanting to run away. Screaming or crying or something else unfathomably inappropriate.
“Are you ready?” Bucky asks.
“Yes.” Steve’s voice is remarkably steady.
Of course he is. This is easy. Children do this. Bucky frowns. “Look me in the eyes, sweetheart.”
The endearment doesn’t even register. All he can think is that Bucky is going to hurt him. Bucky is going to mock him and make fun of him. There’s a word burbling up in his chest. He can feel it pounding through him and he presses his lips hard together so he doesn’t say it. He stares Bucky in the eyes, dredges up a familiar feeling of numbness. Before the serum it was always best to feel numb and a little distant.
“Are you alright?”
“Of course,” Steve says, and smiles.
“Okay, look at my hands then. Watch so you can avoid it.”
He looks down, relieved. Shoulders relaxing. As if Bucky has let him go, releasing him. The permission is everything. The hit is unexpected. “Alpha!” Steve cries out, stunned. His fingers tingle where Bucky has lightly hit them. He pulls them into his chest as if he’s been burned.
“Okay, you’re okay,” Bucky says, and is up on his knees. Steve reaches for him and then flinches. Panic is rushing through him, he breaks out into a cold sweat, feels sick with it.
“Over. Head to the mat, onto your knees. This will help you. You’re okay. You’re fine, baby.”
Bucky is helping him move, face down onto the mat and his ass in the air and Steve goes quiet. Very quiet inside. He’s abruptly as still as the eye of a hurricane must be. The vortex and destruction is everything else. Bucky is behind him, and then Steve can feel him over him, arms on either side of him, a loose cage. Protecting Steve. His voice a low rumble as he brackets Steve’s body. “You’re okay, Steve.”
He isn’t okay. He aches and he wants to cry. He’s cold. He shivers hard. “Here, Steve,” he murmurs and his weight is more heavily on Steve, Bucky’s arm sliding closer along the mat. Steve turns his head, burying his face into Bucky’s arm, dragging in his scent. Steve’s legs spread wider. He moans.
“There you go, perfect,” Bucky murmurs and a hand is on Steve’s hip, gives him a quick squeeze and then he feels the heat of Bucky against his skin. Bucky’s stomach against his lower back, warm and right.
“Is this okay?”
“Yes,” Steve whispers, nodding. It’s more than okay. Steve needs it. Bucky and this pose is the tree to cling to as a tsunami of emotion roils over and around him.
“Are you cold?” Bucky asks, next to his ear.
“I’m going to say things to calm you and reassure you and I’m going to touch you gently. If you don’t like it, you say stop. I won’t be mad. It’s okay to say no, to need a little break. That’s fine, sweetheart.”
Steve makes a sound, turns his head and presses tighter into Bucky’s arm. The heat of him there is soothing, calming and he drags in another breath, the alpha’s scent filling him up inside. Bucky’s warm, he smells like sunshine.
“Do you want to mouth my skin?” Bucky asks. “You can. Take what you need, that’s why I’m here. That’s what I do. It’s normal, Steve. It’s fine.”
He wants to so badly that tears fill his eyes.
“Shh, open your mouth, sweetheart.” It’s an order. Steve gasps, loudly and his tongue swipes over the skin. It’s heaven, warm and soft, and he sucks on the flesh, gets a rush of something that calms him and makes him heavy in his groin.
“Is that good?”
Steve manages a small nod.
“Do you want to nip? Not bite. Don’t bite, but you can use your teeth if you want.”
Steve doesn’t want. He just wants to suck. He sucks and presses his ass back blindly, wanting to feel Bucky’s cock against his ass. Where the ache is worse.
“There you go. Sweetheart. Are you hard?” Bucky asks, and his hand slides off of Steve’s hip, towards his stomach, holding Steve there briefly and then stroking over the vulnerable area. It’s steadying, calming. It’s like being hugged.
Steve sighs in pleasure.
“Steve, is your cock hard?”
“No,” he whispers.
“Should I get you a blanket? Let you get snuggled up warm?”
“No,” he pleads, terrified he might be left alone even for a moment. “Want you,” he says, because he’ll freeze if he’s left.
“Then let’s stay here, honey. Just like this,” he says, and Steve snuggles into his arm, arches and presses back. He doesn’t know where Bucky’s cock is. Why it isn’t a hard bar pressed against his ass. He wants to feel it. He needs to.
He whimpers, pressing back again. “Alpha,” he mumbles.
“Do you need to feel it, sweetheart?”
Steve sobs. It’s so embarrassing.
“I have to adjust. Just a moment,” he murmurs, and there’s cold air on his back as Bucky leans away from him. Steve whines and feels something going on behind him and then Bucky’s weight is back but this time, oh god this time, Steve presses back and the hard bar of his alpha’s cock is there, pressed up against his hole, between his cheeks, a few thin layers of fabric the only thing keeping him from his alpha.
“Alpha,” he sighs. It’s better and then almost instantly it isn’t enough. Why isn’t the cock inside him? Why is he so empty?
“Are you hard?”
“I don’t know,” he says, when Bucky repeats the question.
“I think you’re close, baby,” Bucky murmurs and then there’s rubbing, just soft presses Steve can feel against his hole, Bucky’s cock mimicking being inside him, how he’d fuck Steve. It’s so soft and sweet. Steve comes, suddenly wet in his pants. It’s so gentle, a little wave of warmth lapping through his stomach and his groin as he releases.
“Beautiful. That’s perfect. How gentle.”
Yes, he thinks. Everything should just be so very gentle. Steve drifts, doesn’t complain when Bucky moves away, when his shirt is put next to Steve’s face so he can breathe in the alpha’s scent. A warm, weighted blanket is put over him and he stays there, ass up in presentation while Bucky moves quietly around the room. At some point he’s aware again and he shifts closer, moving slowly to where Bucky sits close by, trying to keep his ass higher, his chest lower. Deeply submissive.
“Beautiful,” Bucky growls, and spreads his legs so Steve can go close. Steve presses his face to the hot bulk of Bucky’s cock. Breathes in the scent of alpha through his clothes, Bucky adjusting the blanket over Steve’s back, running a hand through his hair, scratching at his scalp.
“You missed me, huh? You’re very sweet, Steve. Rest for a little longer, it’s fine, sweetheart.” Steve drifts again, Bucky’s cock pressing against his nose, head tilted so his lips touch the warm outline. He hates the clothing.
Bucky wakes him at some point and Steve pushes back to his heels, scrubs at his face. Bucky stands and kisses him on the top of the head. “Stay here for a moment, let me get you something to eat and drink.”
He disappears behind Steve, comes back and offers Steve a glass of orange juice. Steve drains the glass and ravenously eats the king-size Snickers bar. He’s trying very hard not to think. Bucky is wearing a shirt but the one he had is clutched in Steve’s hand. He should put it down. Hand it back. Steve pulls it into his lap. Can he keep it? Steve doesn’t know what to do now. After such a mortifyingly submissive display.
“Steve, you were really good. You did such a great job. How do you feel?”
He isn’t sure how to answer the question. Unsteady is what he wants to say. Humiliated, maybe. Scared and nervous and unable to leave Bucky. “I think it’s going to take me a bit to feel like myself again.”
Bucky looks into Steve’s eyes. “Your pupils are blown still. Come back here and let me hold you for a while longer.”
“I’m okay,” he says.
“You’re not. You went down very hard. You crashed into your submission and it takes a long time to come out of that. Even if you are a super-soldier. Plus, it’s all new for you. Let’s cement it as a good experience. Come here. Please?”
Steve looks down at the shirt, blinks and feels the tears fall.
“Sweetheart, I’m cold and lonely. Come keep me warm. Let your alpha hold you close,” Bucky orders.
Steve crawls forward, leans into Bucky and gets wrapped in his arms, pulled close, Bucky manhandling him which is a relief.
“Perfect,” Bucky says, and time passes.
there was a tag update for self harm. please ask me if you need more info. I'll explain the circs in the note below.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Steve wakes up laying on Bucky’s chest. They’re on the ground. His heart is beating against Steve’s ear and it’s so nice he could cry. He ducks his head a little, tries to curl closer.
“You back again?” Bucky whispers, his large, warm hand in Steve’s hair.
“Yes, I’m better now,” he says. He is. Maybe.
“Let me see your eyes.”
Steve tilts his head up, looking at Bucky. Bucky smiles. His mouth is close. Bucky makes no move to kiss him. “Better. Reacting normally now.”
Steve sits up. The blanket that was over them pools in his lap. He brings his knees up, clasping his arms around them, head bowed. He’s relaxed and calm. Bucky sits up, puts his hand on Steve’s shoulder, gives him a squeeze. “I’ll get the awkward question out of the way. Don’t suppose you know if you came or released? If you were hard, you came. If you were soft, you released.”
Steve blushes. He’s very aware that his underwear is wet and that’s about it. “I… I’m not sure.” He’s almost positive he wasn’t hard, but he doesn’t want to be one of those omegas who’s dick doesn’t get hard.
A submissive omega. That would be… Steve can’t be one of those. “I think I was hard. I was,” he says, voice getting deeper.
“Okay,” Bucky says, and Steve doesn’t know if he’s imagining the hesitation or not. He can’t look at the alpha yet.
Steve doesn’t smell alpha come. The experience is fragmented and dreamy. Bucky’s voice speaking in his ear, the heat of his body, the taste of his skin, the overwhelming sense that Bucky was his alpha and Steve just needed to be good and quiet for him. Needed to feel very, very safe. Have his alpha be happy with him. Curl up close and stay.
Bucky didn’t come. “You didn’t,” Steve whispers.
Steve sniffles, hands clenching in Bucky’s shirt. He wants to lift it to his face, breathe his alpha in. He doesn’t deserve it. Steve shakes his head.
“Steve, this is my job. I get paid to keep things professional. Coming or behaving like an alpha with you would not have been okay. Do you understand?”
Is that supposed to make anything better? Steve bites the inside of his cheek, wanting to keep the emotion inside, the words, what he’s feeling. He tastes blood. The pain is very sharp and pleasing. He does it to the other side and then bites his bottom lip, making that bleed, too.
“Why do I smell blood?” Bucky demands. He puts his hands on Steve’s face, forcing him to make eye contact with a growl. Steve takes a harsh breath in. He can’t breathe through his nose he’s so stuffed up and abruptly emotional. Bucky stares at Steve’s bottom lip, at the blood that must be there.
“Fuck,” Bucky growls, and he pushes Steve to the mat again. Steve goes eagerly, instinct making it easy, gasping in pleasure as he offers his ass, tries to pull his pants down but he’s too shaky and weak. Bucky is over him, heavy and his mouth latching onto Steve’s neck, biting him sharply.
Steve cries out, and then Bucky is rutting against him, rough and purposeful. He growls, low and animalistic and something settles in Steve. Everything is better now. Bucky bites harder, doesn’t let up at all and then shoves tight, hard cock lodged and finally twitching against Steve’s ass. The scent of come fills the air. Relief goes through Steve. Satisfaction. Everything is fine now.
His alpha licks at the wound on his neck, grinds gently against him, Bucky working his scent into Steve’s skin. Steve sighs happily. Now everyone will know he belongs to someone. Steve drifts away again.
When he wakes up, he’s back in Bucky’s arms, lying on the mats and on his side. His shirt is dragged up and Bucky’s is bunched up too. His alpha’s warm skin is against his back. Steve nestles backwards, his bottom against his alpha’s groin. Bucky clears his throat. His grip loosens. They both smell of mating, Steve’s neck still throbs. He shrugs his shoulder, trying to feel it.
“How are you, Steve?” Something is wrong. His alpha gives him space, sounds distant. Steve offers his neck and it’s ignored.
“Can you tell me what happened?”
“I just realized you didn’t come. And that’s… I don’t even want to think about it, I couldn’t stand that. It made me hurt.”
“You went into a spiral fast, Steve. Much faster than what is typical. You should always tell your partner. The moment you hurt yourself, bite yourself, taste blood, anything. You have to say and your alpha will need to act immediately. The combination of you being very strong and capable of harm, combined with how quickly you spiraled… it’s pretty serious. It can go wrong fast. Do you understand?”
“It means you need more. If you were close to your heat at all, it’s likely you’d need to be mounted and taken bare so you don’t hurt yourself. And I think females are ruled out, unfortunately. If you like women, anyway. You go down too fast and you’ll need your mate’s hormones inside you in a way that would be hard for a female alpha to supply.” Bucky gives him a squeeze, reassuring him that it’s okay or something.
“There’s something wrong with me?” Is that why Bucky doesn’t want him? Bucky doesn’t smell mated and Steve doesn’t know much but he’s pretty sure this isn’t the job a mated alpha could have. His omega wouldn’t cope well, at all.
Bucky misunderstands him. “No, you’re just farther out on the end of the scale. It’s not bad or wrong. Your alpha will be very lucky, Steve,” Bucky says, and Steve can’t place his tone. “You’ll just need to take a little care choosing the right alpha.”
“I’m a submissive omega?” Steve whispers.
“Yes, sweetheart. I’m thinking you’re a very submissive omega,” Bucky says, and cups his face in his hand. Steve presses closer, looks at Bucky. Bucky’s smile falters. “What a lucky alpha you’ll have. You’ll be so good, won’t you?” Bucky blinks, drops his gaze and his hand. No touching claim at all.
“But not… not for you?” Tears fill Steve’s eyes as it really sinks in. Bucky isn’t going to be his alpha?
Bucky shakes his head. He isn’t looking at Steve at all now. “That’s… believe me, if it was possible, I’d be honored,” he says, and takes a breath. He says it quietly. “I’m not… I’m a beta, Steve,” Bucky says, and gets to his feet.
“Oh.” Steve’s heart plummets into his shoes. Bucky takes the blanket, folding it up. “You didn’t say.”
“No, I was trying not to influence you. It was clear you were attracted to me, but I wasn’t sure how. I was just going to try to play it neutral and see how you responded.”
“How clever of you,” Steve says, miserably. A male beta. That rare swath of inter-gender people who don’t fit. Who get blamed for deceiving alphas and omegas into falling in love with them, depriving an alpha of an omega or an omega of an alpha when they can’t even give them what they really need because they’re just not built right. He’s a submissive omega in need of an alpha. It doesn’t make any sense. How can he not be Bucky’s?
“So… does everyone react to you?” Steve asks, shocked and maybe angry. Betrayed. Bucky never said he was an alpha, Steve had assumed. But, what if Steve had acted like an alpha? Would Bucky have let Steve play mount him? It’s such a weird thought, so viscerally wrong that he can’t ask.
Bucky’s shirt is still beside him. Steve picks it up and folds it absently. He can’t keep it. Besides, Bucky is a beta, it wouldn’t make sense to keep it. It isn’t a beta’s scent that will soothe him but an alpha. At least, that’s what he’s learned.
“I tend to register as alpha. I can use blockers and an enhancer and mimic an omega’s scent, but I only do that occasionally and for work. Specific SHIELD employees I’m working with who have difficulties. Otherwise, I… I typically get clocked as an alpha.”
Steve wants to cry. “How many people do you see every day?” He makes himself ask.
“Only a couple. It sort of depends,” he says, softly. “Steve, I’m sorry if you feel deceived.”
But, you’re my alpha, Steve wants to say. “Not deceived, just… maybe… what about compatibility?” Steve asks, before he can stop himself. Steve is just so sad. Bucky is his.
“I’m not capable of being compatible with you. I’m sorry, Steve. Look, this was a big deal. It’s likely that you’re getting close to your heat. The first one is always intense. You went down very hard for me,” Bucky clears his throat. “Just think, if being with me was that good, a real alpha will—“
“No. Don’t… I don’t want an alpha. I can’t… I’m not doing that with someone else,” Steve growls. Doing any of that with someone else is impossible. Is disgusting, really.
“Steve, your biology isn’t going to give you much of a say in that I’m afraid,” Bucky says, gently. He reaches for Steve and maybe he expects Steve to turn away, because his hand hovers but doesn’t actually touch. Steve should be angry or disappointed and maybe he should reject Bucky’s touch. But all he really feels is grief and loss. How can he turn away or reject Bucky’s comfort if he’s sad? Bucky doesn’t touch him but Steve steps closer, until he’s up against Bucky’s chest and Bucky’s arms slowly close around him.
If he’s sad or hurt then he belongs in Bucky’s arms.
Bucky sighs and rubs Steve’s back. “Oh, honey,” he says, and kisses the top of Steve’s head.
I’m yours, Steve wants to say. Bucky feels so good. Steve doesn’t pull back, doesn’t move, just waits. Tears fill his eyes.
“I think we better see how you do with an alpha,” Bucky murmurs. “I… you must be close. Let me get the scent books while you take a shower and clean up.”
The reminder that his pants are wet, that he’s stewing in it, and his ass is damp from Bucky’s come soaking through his clothing, makes him blush. Bucky leads him through another door, bypassing the water and Steve goes into the bathroom to take a shower.
“Wait. Here,” Bucky says, and opens a cabinet where there’s undergarments. Steve hates that. Hates that Bucky has this in his office. That Steve isn’t special. That he doesn’t get Bucky as his alpha. Steve’s neck throbs from his alpha’s bite.
When he comes out of the bathroom, his anger stoked to a nice protective barrier around him it’s to find that the room stinks. He puts his hand to his nose as he gets close to the scent book. “That’s awful.”
“Awful?“ Bucky asks, his eyebrows rising high in disbelief.
“Yeah, it’s like being in a locker room with a group of very sweaty men. That’s disgusting.“
“Oh, Okay. I guess that isn’t quite what I was expecting,” he murmurs, then he makes Steve go through the box anyway. Trying to see if any alpha smells good.
“It’s giving me a headache,” Steve growls.
“Okay, well look. If you’re an omega then you should respond to an alpha. That’s just the facts. I think— ”
It’s at that point that Natasha comes in. Bucky shuts up and Steve urges her to come closer. Frankly, Steve’s happy to see her. She glances at Bucky, looks back at Steve, juts her chin up just a little and Steve interprets that to mean ‘what’s going on in here?’
Steve likes Natasha. She reminds him of Peggy. He’s pretty sure she knows absolutely everything and that staying on her good side is in his best interest. He has no idea if she’s actually a nice person or not. She’s pretty guarded. Guarded is something that Steve understands. He’s willing to give it time.
“Apparently, I’m an omega.“
“How nice for you,“ she says blandly.
Steve’s smile is feral. “No, it really isn’t.“
“So, who’s the lucky alpha?” she asks, wandering over to the box.
“We’re not quite sure yet,” Bucky hedges.
Steve crosses his arms. “What are you?” He asks her.
“I’m an alpha,“ she says.
“Oh God, you don’t, I mean, please tell me you’re in a relationship?” He wants a friend.
She chuckles. “Your ass is safe from me, Rogers”
He sees Bucky’s shoulders relax. Which apparently means nothing.
“Did you know they’ve got a creek over there? And plants?” Steve asks, jerking his thumb towards the stream.
“I did. There’s also a gym where people go and grind all over each other.”
She turns to Bucky. “I’m here to take Steve to the range and then he’s going to meet a few important people.”
“Steve, you should come back tomorrow for the playmating group.” Bucky’s mouth forms a hard line, but then he smiles. Forced it looks like.
Steve wants to throw up. He’s nauseous with his alpha’s rejection. Bucky is giving him away. Steve stands straight, goes to the door, refusing to look back. There’s a cold place inside of him. Calm and dark and if he thinks about it a lot, lets it grow then things are easier. Better. It’s how he usually feels. Bucky had burned that all away, shadows obliterated by the sun. But the sun is gone now, the shadows are useful and friendly. Familiar.
Steve’s okay to follow her out of the room. Into the hallway. It’s a well worn feeling. Like loneliness but not bad. He just has to let it out, not keep it reined in.
“People get all worked up about gender. If you start doing stupid stuff and feeling like you’re going off the rails, let me know,” she says, as they walk down the hall.
Steve blinks at her. “What would you do?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know. Smack some sense into you?”
Steve grunts. “Did you know that Bucky is a beta?”
“Yes, you should see the disappointment people have when they find out. He’s broken many a hearts without trying.”
Well, that is not what he wants to hear. He can well believe it’s something that happens all the time. And now Steve is apparently one of the people who are disappointed to find out that Bucky is a beta. “He tried to do a game with me, the hand slap thing and I just… it didn’t go well.”
“Huh” she says, very calmly. It’s worrying.
“I don’t know, that just sounds a little unusual. And I don’t know about a hand slap.”
“That’s what I’m saying! It was unusual. And now he thinks I’m a submissive omega and it’s bullshit.”
She pushes the button and the elevator stops moving. Gives him her full attention. “You did not mention he thought you were a submissive omega.”
The shame of it rises up in his cheeks.
“Oh my god, you presented for Bucky Barnes?” She rolls her eyes up to the ceiling “I would pay money to see that.”
“What do you mean no? No, you wouldn’t want me to watch or no you didn’t present?“
“I definitely don’t want you to watch. But, I may have done the other thing. I don’t know why I did. Honestly, I thought it was supposed to be a choice. An omega… wants something… inside and then they, um, you know,” he does a hand wave movement. She grins at him. “Find someone and you assume a…um, a position. Is it hot in here? Can we keep going?”
“Yeah, that’s usually how it is. The temperature is fine.“
“Right. And that’s not what happened. One little hand slap and then suddenly I was desperate and pathetic, ass up and… it was mortifying. And it wasn’t a choice, it just happened.” Being with Bucky felt so right. He’s not doing that with other people. He just can’t and won’t. He puts out his hands. “You do it.”
She sticks out her hands and Steve slaps the top of them. She glares at him.
“Okay now you do it to me,” he says and reverses their positions.
“What do you want me to—“ she slaps him. He feels absolutely nothing. There is no urge to get his ass in the air or have a mental breakdown. It’s a fucking relief.
“Do it again.” They do it three more times and each time she smacks him a little harder and he makes himself be a little slower to withdraw. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I feel absolutely nothing.”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but my boyfriend will be happy to hear it.”
“This is so dumb. Doesn’t this just prove… what did I just prove?”
“I don’t know. You have to ask Barnes. Maybe you’re not attracted to me, which seems impossible because,” she gestures at herself. “Or, it could prove you got your needs met and now you’re fine.“
“Can I do that? Get my needs met by a beta? If I’m an omega? He basically said I couldn’t.”
She shrugs. “I don’t know. He’s the expert. I mean, he wouldn’t have a knot. So, if you went into heat it might be an issue. But, there are toys. I had a beta girlfriend once. She leaned pretty hard to the omega side. Didn’t have real heats but she was a god damned size queen.”
Steve takes a minute to think about that. “Oh.”
“It was almost like… exacerbated. She wanted it more or it affected her more because there was a desire to be an omega there, it wasn’t just biology but mental want. I don’t know. She was like high femme omega or something.”
“Do you mean she was more omega than a normal omega?”
“Why did you break up?” Steve asks.
“Not because she was a beta or a hardcore omega. Personally, I don’t think it’s a big deal. I think alpha men get worked up about it because beta men who lean more alpha are typically much better alphas than they are.”
“In what way?”
“Well, for the same reason Bucky has this job. He can control himself. He isn’t obsessed with getting his knot into an omega and distracted. There are a lot of omegas that like that and even need that level of control in order to submit.”
“But?” He asks, because there’s something she isn’t saying.
“Well, it can also be hard for an omega, instinctually, to know that their alpha won’t respond in a way their body interprets as devotion. There are omegas that might feel… unloved, depending upon what they like in the bedroom, the sort of feral behavior they need. As far as I know, the real difference between a beta-alpha male and a biologically born alpha- male is gentleness. Bucky isn’t an asshole but he might be too soft for a lot of omegas, too. If you’re a submissive omega, your needs might be a little… feral?”
“Bucky being controlled and gentle doesn’t sound like a bad thing,” he says, slowly. Why wouldn’t he want that? Unless he’s just missing something. “I don’t… I don’t want aggressive or a knot.” He doesn’t know for sure, but he doesn’t think he does. And all he really wants is Bucky. “He slapped my hand and I lost it. I don’t want mean. Or aggressive, I’m pretty sure.”
“That’s hard, Steve.” Is it? Why is she looking at him with pity? What does she know that he doesn’t? “If you’re a submissive omega then you just want to be good for your alpha,” she says. “I don’t know if he can give you that level of dominance. Maybe it would work, I don’t know.”
“How do you know all this?”
“I like to know things. And Bucky is a friend. I’d say he’d likely be pretty damn cautious if you decided you were interested in him. He lives his life as an alpha. He’s my friend and I respect him. Plus, he’s a hell of a lot better than most alphas. He might biologically be a beta, the world sees him that way and he likely expects you would, too. But, that’s not how his partners treat him from what I know.” It’s a warning or something.
“I don’t have a problem with it. I… I called him alpha on accident. It felt right.”
“Oh,” she sounds, relieved. “Well, what did he say to that?”
“He basically said it was impossible.”
A flash of some expression crosses her face. “I’m sorry, Steve”
He means to tell her that it’s fine. That it isn’t a big deal and he doesn’t know Bucky so it doesn’t matter. He presses the button to get the elevator started instead, so overwhelmed with emotion and sudden grief that he can’t say a word.
The rest of the day is perfectly normal. He goes to the gym and spars. Takes yet another shower and then has to meet people who work in the government, have his picture taken. He’s also had another fitting for a new Captain America outfit. It’s a lot more subtle than the last one. Which is good. And it’s clear no one is expecting him to go on a stage again. Which is also good. Steve was terrible at that.
It’s the first night he sleeps well since coming out of the ice. He lays down, expecting to agonize and maybe cry, but he’s out between one half formed thought and the next.
RE Self Harm- Steve bites his cheek and lip so he bleeds. Bucky catches him at it. It's more of an instinctive response on Steve's part and I really don't want to focus on it too much if you're trying to decide whether or not to continue on. If that changes I'll say but this is the softest Steve to have ever been soft and it would make bucky unhappy so I don't see how it could go anywhere.
Being a good person and aware of the unending hellscape we are all enduring-- yes, lets add an election that goes on for several days to the list of things 2020 didn't need-- you'll notice I did not end the chapter at the bucky is a beta reveal. Thank you all for your comments, they're definitely my equivalent of getting a new chapter. I'm not responding much at all on account of my RSI but I wish I was and I appreciate it very much!
By the end of the next day, Steve is nervous and sick with dread. He doesn’t want to to go to the playmating group. Since his meeting with Bucky, he’s tried to do some reading about alpha’s needs and omega’s needs and even submissive omegas but it was so unsettling he’d given up. Things were a lot easier when he thought he was a null. And he’d tried to watch a bit of porn but it had been awful, too. If it was possible to die from the embarrassment of watching porn then that was going to happen to him. He didn’t relate to any of the people in it. Didn’t want to be any of them or whatever he was supposed to feel. It certainly didn’t arouse him.
He gets to Bucky’s office right before six. Bucky grins at the sight of him. “I was just beginning to worry you wouldn’t show up.”
“Nope, I’m here,” he says, shoving his hands into his pockets.
“How about you get changed and come to the gym?” Bucky points out the door. “I have to get there and supervise. See you in a minute?”
“Sure,” he says, and Bucky leaves him there. Steve goes into Bucky’s office and then to the bathroom, changes into new clothes and goes down the hallway to the playmating room.
His nostrils flare when he enters the gym. Bucky is watching for him, comes towards him. Something about Bucky coming towards him makes Steve’s heart pound, his stomach flutters in expectation. He wants to offer his neck to Bucky.
In his quest to figure his gender out, Steve has spent the day challenging every alpha he meets. Standing near them until they take a step back, maintaining eye contact and having them be the first to break. It’s easy. No hint of being an omega. People respond as though he’s an alpha.
And yet, now he’s with Bucky and he can’t imagine challenging him. Steve can hardly look at him. His gaze makes it up to Bucky’s mouth. He fixates on his lips easily enough, but his eyes are difficult. Prolonged contact feels impossible and wrong. Stressful.
“You get used to the smell,” Bucky says.
Steve stands near him, shuddering in discomfort and unable to pick up Bucky’s scent amongst all the others. It’s a large space, with about 30 people in the middle of the room. At first glance, it almost looks like it could be a training session. But, closer inspection reveals the horrible reality of what everyone is doing.
The scent of arousal is thick and cloying. It makes him want to gag. It’s possible to tell who the alphas are because there’s a certain amped up jitteriness around them. If they’re men then their dicks are hard, if they’re women it’s in their posture, something about the way they prowl around the space. It’s just easy to tell who identifies as what.
The omegas tend to have damp pants. At least half of them are wearing the same type of pants that Steve is, but in a light gray. The color shows wetness. It’s awful. Steve couldn’t imagine going out in public like that. People knowing the desire he felt. Why would anybody want that on display? As he’s watching, a woman goes down to the ground eagerly, back arching and an alpha female settles behind her. He can hear the alpha growl.
Steve turns away from the group and faces Bucky, taking a step towards him reflexively. He’s like a scared child refusing to play. Bucky is safety. Everyone else is a threat. He needs Bucky to protect him. Why won’t Bucky take him away from here? His hands reach for Bucky but he stops himself.
Bucky crosses his arms, stance changing and Steve freezes, glances up. Bucky is looking at the people, watching them, but his jaw is hard and there’s a wash of color in his cheeks. It only makes sense that Bucky knows Steve needs him, is turned towards him like a flower to the sun and Bucky isn’t opening his arms or smiling. Bucky is rejecting him.
Steve takes a step back. What is he doing thinking he needs help, from what exactly? Who? Steve’s being ridiculous. This isn’t dangerous.
Bucky says, “Relationships end and SHIELD is a huge organization. Sometimes people just want contact or to be distracted and they don’t want a relationship so they come here, get it out of their system. Or maybe they do want a relationship and so they come here, too. This is a good place to find a partner.”
Steve has nothing to say besides, ‘I don’t want one.’ And he isn’t supposed to say that.
“I got a call from Phil today. Did a bit of checking up on you, too. Lots of alpha posturing and challenging since you left me. So much so that Phil wonders if you’re about to go into rut. I don’t know what happened between us yesterday, but it sounds like an outlier.”
Bucky takes a step away from him. Glances at him, up and down. Assessing. So, Bucky recognizes him as an alpha now, is that it? And he’s keeping Steve at a distance because of it it? The hair raises on Steve’s arms, he’s unsettled and worried. His alpha shouldn’t be so far away from him, especially not here with the sex and lust in the air. The aggression.
“I’m just trying to understand. Figure out… what I’m supposed to be,” Steve says.
“Yes, and that’s exactly what you should be doing. I’m perfectly happy to ignore yesterday. I caught you off guard or something. Sometimes, people react in unusual ways. We put it aside, start over. So… just go out there and … be yourself. Does that sound good?”
No, it sounds horrible. The only thing that makes any fucking sense is Bucky.
Steve turns away from Bucky, looks at the people. Bucky agrees Steve might be an alpha. He wasn’t a good omega for him, after all. His gaze goes to the damp pants of a male omega. It’s good he’s not one of them. He looks at an alpha with a wet stain on the front of their pants and wants to run away.
“When you go out there, someone will approach you or you will approach them,” Bucky says, calm and impersonal. He isn’t even looking at Steve. “If they want to play with you then they’ll give you a signal or touch you or something. If you don’t like them, push them away, turn away, no one will be offended. And, I’ll… watch. Make sure it’s okay.”
“No. What if I can’t?”
“Any of it. Just… even, go out there.”
“You can always come back to me— here, I mean. The sidelines.”
Bucky finally looks at him. He frowns at whatever he sees on Steve’s face. Bucky starts to reach for him and then pulls his hand back. Steve almost whimpers. That was what he needed. His whole body lit up for just a moment when he thought Bucky was going to touch him.
“Steve, it’s new and weird but it won’t stay that way. You could go sit on the edge and see what happens? Then people know you just want a conversation. To ease into it slowly. Go… go ahead.”
His alpha is rejecting him.
This is bullshit, Steve decides. He’d happily go out there and subdue people, would happily fight anyone who tried to approach him. But, that’s not why he’s here. He’s not supposed to fight but mate. Steve’s revolted and devastated at once. The urge to throw up, cry and destroy something pulses through him. What if he just screams?
And then it gets worse.
A pretty brunette waves at Bucky. Who is she? What does she want with his alpha? Steve realizes there are likely people out there Bucky sees one on one. His alpha has likely spilled on someone’s ass besides his.
Even worse, maybe he played the part of an omega for someone out there. The desperate desire to ask who it was, to get Bucky’s attention and do something to wipe all of them away is there. Not that he has any idea how he’d do any of that.
“Who is she?” Steve asks, voice flat, as he tries to sink back into that calm, dark place. The smell and the activity, Bucky being here, it makes it difficult to retreat into himself.
Bucky scowls at him. Starts to say something and stops. “She’s… nothing. A co-worker. Unless, are you asking if she’s an omega?”
Steve gags, but swallows it down, turns towards the people because Bucky is hurting him.
“What am I… I don’t know what to do.”
“Then watch,” he says, as if it isn’t a big deal. And that’s when Rumlow growls in a really obnoxious fucking way and Bucky has to wade in and drag him off poor Sitwell. Sitwell is on the ground, dazed. Apparently, he’s an omega. Rumlow clearly came and Sitwell’s pants are all wet. Steve takes a step back. He doesn’t belong here. He hates this.
Another alpha comes over, drops down to the ground and Bucky backs up a step as Sitwell gets his ass back up in the air. Steve heads out the door. He goes straight to Bucky’s office. He should change and leave but he can’t. He goes to the other room through the door, bypassing the creek and digs through the piled up blankets, searching for the one he shared with Bucky but nothing has a scent. It’s like it never happened. He sits in the corner and puts his head on his arms and waits.
It doesn’t take long for the door to open. Steve knows it’s Bucky. He squeezes his eyes closed, too many emotions whirling around inside of him. He wants to know where their blanket is. Where the shirt is that Steve clung onto yesterday. He catches a hint of aroused omega first and he growls, lifting his head and looking at Bucky.
Bucky stops several feet away, hands raising cautiously. “Steve?”
“You stink of them,” he growls, low and angry.
Bucky blinks, the only indication he’s surprised. Bucky backs up slowly before he turns and gives Steve his back. Treating Steve like an upset alpha or something. He goes to the corner of the room, gets a few wipes and cleans his hands and his face, rubs it over his neck and drops them in the trash. He comes back towards Steve.
“Is that better?” He asks, gently. There’s a soft smile on his face, as if it’s perfectly reasonable for Steve to be enraged over this. Bucky drops gracefully to his knees, legs spread, tilts his head to the side in a beautifully submissive display. “Do you want to check?”
Steve flinches. “Please, don’t,” he manages.
Bucky isn’t an omega. Steve hates that Bucky is doing this for him. The submissive posture, the offer. It’s viscerally wrong. It makes him want to cry. Steve presses into the corner and tries not to cry. It feels like he’s done wrong by his alpha. Failed him or something. This is Steve’s fault. Steve sobs and Bucky reaches for him. Steve flinches further into the corner.
“Honey,” Bucky whispers, agonized. He gets up, back to his feet, walks away from Steve, and it gives Steve a chance to breathe. Bucky takes a breath, too, audible and it feels like a reset or something. A break. Steve’s heart calms. He lets his weight relax and Bucky comes back again. Steve thinks he was waiting for it.
He stops when he’s looming over Steve, stares down at him. Steve can feel the heavy weight of his gaze pressing down like a magnet. If Steve looks up at him, he doesn’t know what he’ll do. It’s too difficult. He doesn’t know if he’s wanted. Steve whines, soft and unexpected. Steve’s surprised it happened.
“You’re okay, sweetheart,” Bucky says, roughly. Bucky’s hand opens, an invitation Steve can see out of the corner of his eye. Now it’s right. This is his alpha. Steve leans closer slowly, scared Bucky will stop him, reject him again, despite the invitation. He wants his alpha’s cock in his mouth but maybe that’s not okay. Just because it feels necessary to Steve doesn’t mean Bucky feels the same. Steve rests his forehead on Bucky’s thigh, instead. Steve’s sigh is shaky with relief as he kisses the solid muscle.
A moment passes. Bucky touches his hair gently and Steve presses closer. “Good boy,” Bucky says, gruffly.
Steve’s breath hitches at the endearment. He kisses his leg more firmly. Bucky moves, drops down into a squat, legs spreading around Steve, protecting him. His cock so close now. Steve whimpers and looks up, blinking away tears as he meets his alpha’s gaze then looks down to his mouth. Bucky’s hands cup Steve’s face, his thumbs brush over his cheeks in a slow, possessive sweep.
“You my sweet little omega?”
He can’t speak. He nods and waits. Yes, that’s who he is. He belongs to Bucky and he’s his omega. The end. That’s the only thing that’s made any sense to him since he woke up. The name that fits. He’s Bucky’s omega. He is. Maybe he is an alpha for everyone else, but when he gets near Bucky, this is what’s right.
Bucky looks at Steve’s mouth and Steve licks his lips. “I got two different calls today wanting to know why I hadn’t signed off on your paperwork. Alpha, they said. And that’s what I saw. I watched you today, Steve.”
“You saw me?” He whispers. His hands curl around Bucky’s wrists gently, needing to touch his alpha and keep him close.
Bucky starts to say something and then stops. His gaze goes back to Steve’s mouth. “I did. I watched you.”
Steve whimpers. His alpha watched him from a distance. Did he like watching Steve? Or was he upset that Steve was an alpha?
“Tell me, sweetheart. Was it easy keeping everyone away?”
“Did it feel right? You were untouched, sweetheart. Every alpha backed away from you. You made them. Every omega was too intimidated. You did that, too. Not a single person touched you today.” Bucky makes it sound like a tragedy. Bucky’s thumbs are tear-damp as he continues to stroke slowly over his cheeks.
“Only you should touch me.”
Bucky leans close, stops just shy of kissing him. Steve waits, starts to tremble in anticipation, forces himself to wait for his alpha. Bucky’s tongue darts out, flicking feather light across Steve’s mouth. Steve gasps and leans into him, he can’t get close enough. He licks the taste of Bucky into himself, frustrated there isn’t more, that there isn’t any distinction or flavor, no way to know he’s got anything of his alpha inside of him.
“You need to be touched, sweetheart. It broke my heart to see you keep everyone away. People who could be friends if you let them. But, you keep yourself alone.”
“You,” Steve whispers. He doesn’t want anyone else to touch him. If it isn’t Bucky then he won’t have anyone. “I’ll let you touch me. I need you to touch me. Not anyone else.”
happy Friday? is that something anyone is still doing?
Bucky's POV and his experience of the playmating day.
Bucky slept like shit. Which is how he finds himself in the Starbucks line before going into work. Usually, he just drinks his own coffee from home. But he’d gotten up this morning feeling like he’d been run over by a truck and knew the day required coffee.
So much coffee.
Of course, he’d obsessively thought about Steve Rogers. And it’s unfortunately possible he’s never been hard so long in his life. It was like being a teenager again. But worse. He didn’t really go soft. He’d come and that should have been the end and it just wasn’t. He’s going to need to buy Kleenex. It’s embarrassing. And very unprofessional. No one could remain professional with the temptation of Steve Rogers. Needy, submissive, positively desperate for it, Steve Rogers. It was mind boggling. Beautiful. And very, very weird.
How did it go with Rogers?“ Phil asks, from behind him.
Goddamnit, he hasn’t even ordered yet. Bucky plasters on a smile and turns around. “Nice tie,” he says, and Phil looks down, hand brushing over the blue pattern. It’s actually a very similar color to Steve eyes. Which is the sort of thought that makes Bucky want to stab his own brain out.
“Thanks,” he says, “May gave it to me.“
Bucky lets his smile widen. There’s a relationship that’s been at a slow boil for years. “How’s that going? You finally gonna let her pin you down?“
“Well-“ He starts to say, but the barista says ‘next’ very loudly and gives Bucky a bit of a glare. He dashes forward, places his order, gets a breakfast sandwich as well and tips heavily. Of course Phil order and then stands right next to him. “About Rogers. We’re all very excited to get him back out in the field.”
Bucky winces. “Back out? The last time he was out anywhere was World War II, right?”
“Well, yeah, it’s a figure of speech. But this is Steve Rogers. Have you seen his shield fly around the training room? It puts a knick in every wall. It makes a scraping sound. If you’re too close you can feel the vibration when it hits something. And it’s fast. It’s like going to see professional tennis. You just don’t realize how fast that ball is moving,” he says, dreamily.
“Yeah, I’m sure it’s pretty impressive. But he really hasn’t been out very long. There’s trauma there, PTSD. What’s going to be done about that?”
“Well, the hope is he’s going to get an omega, maybe even someone he can have with him in the field.”
Bucky hates that idea so fucking much he needs a few breaths before he can respond. “Okay, so the goal is to get him not only classified as an alpha, but matched up with someone that works at SHIELD?“
“You don’t sound happy about that.“
“Look, I’ve only met him briefly. And I don’t wanna make any assumptions. I didn’t get an obvious read on what I think he is. I’m gonna need to spend some more time with him. But I’d be surprised if he wound up with someone who could be out in the field.“
“What do you mean?“
Thankfully, Bucky is able to go up and get his drink. He waits for Phil to get his and they go straight to his office. Phil immediately takes off his shoes, of course, and rolls up his pants so he can stand in the creek. Every fucking time. Heaven forbid anybody come to his office and not try to stand in the creek. He pulls up a chair and sits down while Phil wiggles his toes happily.
Bucky eats his breakfast sandwich and waits. Phil finally sighs and looks at them. “Is he really a null? Is that problem?“ Phil asks. “Did you know there was nothing between him and Director Carter? I almost cried.”
Bucky ignores that completely. “I don’t think so. Very few people are null. If I had to guess I’d say there’s some kind of trauma there, something that makes his gender particularly difficult to access. But, he’s in a different environment now and he’s not on suppressants so it seems likely that something will happen. We’ll get some kind of indication one way or another, pretty soon. “
“He came to see you yesterday. My understanding was he was here for almost two hours. What did you do, if he spent all that time here and didn’t give you any sign as to what he might be?”
The urge to tell Phil that it’s none of his business is hard to resist. But, he has no personal claim on Steve. Steve is an employee and Phil is well within his rights to ask. If it were any other employee, Bucky would tell him without question. That’s just the chain of command. But, it would feel like a betrayal to tell Phil what happened yesterday. And he doesn’t have enough information yet. Not really.
“It was mainly a history lesson. He has zero knowledge of how secondary genders work. He didn’t have playgroup, education was lacking, it sounds like his body was in a pretty hard shut down, and he’s got trust issues. We talked, I got him to walk through the river and we came up with a plan more than anything else. I think getting his trust is important and he seems a bit lonely, honestly. I didn’t push it. But I suggested he come back tonight for playgroup and that should give us some indication of what he is.“
Phil takes a big drink of his coffee and nods his head a little. “That makes sense. Good work. Let’s check in tomorrow, you can tell me how group goes.”
Phil leaves and Bucky doesn’t feel too guilty about what he said. By 11 AM, Phil has called him back and told him it’s pretty clear that Steve is an alpha. It’s so bad, he’s worried Steve is going to go into rut.
“With who?” He asks.
“Uh, I don’t know. I guess none of the omega’s are responding to him yet. But he’s throwing out some pretty heavy signals."
Which means that Bucky goes to watch. He does it surreptitiously, monitoring him from the security office. Phil comes in around lunchtime. “Well? I don’t see anything particularly omega like, do you?"
The answer is a resounding no. Steve comes across like the biggest baddest alpha SHIELD has ever seen. And that’s saying something. There’s a space around Steve, no one getting too close, everyone stepping to the side so he can pass with plenty of space. Intriguingly, the omegas steer clear too. Typically, an alpha like Steve and they wander closer.
It’s almost a gravitational pull and omegas all wind up in an alpha’s orbit if he’s particularly dominant. Usually, an alpha encourages the closeness, will start out bumping shoulders and if that is well received or not rejected, then it might be a pat on the shoulder, a pat on the lower back and finally a touch on the neck. Which isn’t actually that professional and is the sort of thing that most omegas get pissed off about. He gets a complaint about Rumlow at least once a month. But, that’s just how alphas are. They like to take. If they see a space they wanna be there. If somebody backs off they want to move into it. Any omega who gives ground to an alpha, does it with intention. Omegas are well trained against social submission because they have to be.
If anything, people react to Steve like he’s a beta. Obviously, one who is dominant as fuck, but all the submissive signals that he gets are from omegas who clearly lust after him as well. The instinctive biological submission to Steve Rogers doesn’t seem to be there.
“Honestly, I wouldn’t rule out beta,“ Bucky says, staring at the screen.
“Steve Rogers is not a beta," he says firmly.
Buckys sighs and gives him a flat look.
“I just mean that everyone is submitting to him. Every beta I’ve met just doesn’t register. It’s one step above being a null. No offense."
“Sure,” he says, because it’s the easiest thing to say and he knows Phil means well enough. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with waiting until the end of the day. I’ll get the report to you by tomorrow at lunchtime.”
Phil’s face scrunches up, “If you decide he’s a beta, don’t write the report tomorrow. Give it another few days. You would need to make damn sure. Then what would we do? Who do we even pair him up with?"
They leave the security office and Bucky goes to lunch. When he comes back at 1:15, Fury is standing in his stream finishing a sandwich.
“Do you want me to come back?“
“We’re going to need to get Rogers an omega. Maria’s already had five complaints from alphas that he’s about to go into rut. They’re all getting squirrely. I might have to take him out of training until he’s evened out. What do you think about putting him back on suppressants?“
“Well, I think you have to ask him. The serum burns through drugs like nobody’s business. The doses that he was on during the war were insane. If he were anybody else, I’d say there’s a good chance he’s infertile now."
Fury sighs heavily, looks down, watches his toes wiggle in the water. Everybody does that. “We haven’t been able to test for that yet. Until he’s signed off as an alpha, we can’t get a sperm sample.“
“Who knows, he might be an omega," Bucky says, curious what his reaction will be.
Fury snorts, “If Rogers turned out to be an omega, I’d be living in this stream. That would be a political shit show. The guy has been a symbol for alpha propaganda for 70 years. I can think of 10 people throughout various governmental agencies who'd be hounding me to make sure he kept his mouth shut and signed an NDA."
“You should know, I floated the idea of him being a beta to Phil.“
Fury gives him a terrifying stare. “Any idea what direction he would lean?"
“I’m surprised you’re asking me."
“My gut is telling me that if it was an alpha you would’ve mentioned it already."
“I did not tell Phil this. I’m not sure I’m very happy telling you either, but he came in yesterday and he had a very atypical response.”
“How atypical?” He demands.
“The sort of response that means he wouldn’t be in the field ever again."
Fury looks down at his toes again. “It was wise of you to tell me this when I was in the creek.“
Bucky manages a weak smile. “Do you wanna walk to the end and back? Get your thoughts together?"
Bucky is actually joking, but Fury turns around and starts wading to the other end. He takes his time coming back. “Exactly how atypical are we talking?"
“I’ve never seen anything like it. I’ve seen a lot of omegas come in here. I’ve seen a lot of submissive omega‘s come in here. But, I’ve never seen anybody react like that. I wouldn’t want him on the streets unbonded. We’d have to get him on suppressants immediately. He’d be in so much physical danger that the drugs would actually be the safer choice. It’d be your number one priority to find him an alpha."
“Jesus Christ.” Fury looks longingly down to the end of the stream again. “Should’ve made this water feature longer. I told Maria it was was too short." Fury grunts. “What are the odds it’s an atypical reaction?"
“I have no idea. I don’t know why it happened in the first place. He shouldn’t have gone down. He certainly should not have gone down that hard. And he had a really hard time coming back. All three of those things are dangerous on their own, you combine them all and it’s just debilitating.”
“The man is giving every alpha a hard time right now.”
“I know. He left here with Natasha. He had no reaction to her. He reacted like an alpha and thought the scent book stank. Every indication is that he is an alpha. Except for the one. I still feel like I fucked up by letting him go.”
“He growls hello.”
“I know, you combine that with the fact that I am a beta and the whole thing is insane.”
“So, what’s the plan?"
Bucky rubs his hands over his face. He’s dreading it. “He’ll come to the playmating group tonight and hopefully he’ll go out there and grind up on half the omegas out there, have zero reaction to the alphas, zero reaction to me and I’ll mark it all off as a bizarre fluke."
“If that doesn’t happen, I want to know first thing in the morning.“
“Nick, I really think it was just a strange reaction. I really hope it was. Being an omega that submissive isn’t something one would wish on anyone, let alone him. God, he's Captain America. If he is that submissive, I don’t think you want it to get out. It can’t get out.” Which is also something that kept him up late in the night.
“You think I should lie? We start doctoring his files?"
“No, we convince him to leave SHIELD immediately, he gives up being Captain America and he lives his life, whatever that means."
Fury wades down to the end of the stream and back again. “We’ve got to make sure Sitwell is there tonight. Every alpha wants to hump him into next week."
“Yeah, but he proves my point. You know why he gets humped every single time, don't you? He’s the most submissive omega at SHIELD.”
“Shit. Times like this I’m happy I’m a beta," Fury says, shuddering at the very idea. Fury is an alpha-leaning beta like himself, but he isn’t ‘out’. Every now and again they have a talk about ‘real alphas’ and how they just seem like assholes. This is particularly true for the males. They are more impatient, impulsive, usually have control issues, and getting a mate is one of the things that calms them down.
Any mission that requires subtlety or a cool head won’t have an alpha on it under the age of 30 who hasn’t been mated for a solid five years. And even then, they have to undergo stress tests.
“Just so you know, if he has another atypical reaction, I’ll escort him home, would likely need to stay the night, and if I brought him back in the next day, then I won’t let him out of my sight.“
“Maybe I should’ve asked this already, but what was your reaction to him?“
Bucky blows out a breath. “Everything I did felt necessary in the moment." Bucky crosses his arms, thinks about it again and for the millionth time. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure it was necessary. But, it wasn’t a hardship. He's Steve Rogers. The man is gorgeous. And so romantically tragic who wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to be with him?"
“Do you think you’d claim him? Is that what you’re telling me?"
“If he reacts again like he did yesterday? I don’t think I could stop myself. He asked if we were compatible.”
Fury whistles. “Are you?“
“I’m a beta," he says, like Nick is an idiot.
“I know you don’t believe that. I remember my dad telling me he met my mom and he knew. She felt it too. They were the happiest couple I ever saw. And they were both betas. I don’t believe for a single moment those dysfunctional alphas are more likely to have a person they’re perfect with more than me. We got aliens coming out of the sky, I don’t think anything is impossible now."
“That’s surprisingly hopeful of you. Romantic even."
“Yeah, you tell anyone and you can kiss this office goodbye."
Bucky rolls his eyes.
Fury gets out of the stream, dries off and heads out. "If anybody asks, you didn’t see me."
Fury leaves, Bucky checks his afternoon calendar again and, as expected, his one and only appointment for the day canceled because they got sent on a mission. Which is a relief as he was going to have to put on omega pheromones and he hates that. If his skin is at all dry he winds up breaking into a rash. He gets to stay himself, he thinks, and stares at the window, the water zigzagging down endlessly.
Great, now he’s got hours to sit around and agonize over Steve Rogers. Who is Steve Rogers if he gets to be himself? Bucky has no idea. The man who’d been in Human Resources, standing at that desk talking to Doris, who’d radiated so much anxiety and stress that Bucky had touched him the moment he could, isn’t the same person he’s seen on the monitors all day.
The Steve Rogers who’d tentatively tried to take his papers back, who’d been unable to handle anything that could be interpreted as rejection and who couldn’t get out of a spiral until Bucky came on him and held him for hours, is not the same one that Bucky saw on the monitors. Can they both be real?
Steve’s reaction to him wasn’t faked. But, his responses are typical of an omega so submissive that it’s practically a curse. Better to be the alpha he looks like. Though Steve hasn’t been quick to claim that identity. And he had wanted to know what he was, had clearly loved the idea of being something, having a place in the world and a way into relationships and connections. He hadn’t missed how overwhelmed Steve got at the idea that he wasn’t broken, how much he loved being touched. Not touching, but Bucky touching him.
It’s a distinction to note. A submissive omega wants to be taken care of and cherished. They need attention from their alpha. They’re like tropical fish in a teenager’s aquarium. Tropical fish not in their natural environment, not taken care of by someone obsessive, go belly up quick. They’re temperamental: the food has to be right, the temperature, the tank, the water quality, the salinity. Tropical fish are very beautiful but they are not for the inexperienced. They need very precise conditions to thrive. If the ‘real’ Steve is the submissive he encountered last night then that’s life changing. Not just for Steve but for Bucky.
Bucky will need to (get to?) rearrange his entire life for the addition of Steve Rogers. Another inappropriately submissive reaction from Steve, directed at Bucky, with Steve believing Bucky is his true mate and Bucky won’t be letting Steve go. It would be cruel and dangerous for Steve. And Bucky doesn’t actually want to let him go. He isn’t going to get his hopes up, but he also isn’t going to push Steve away. God knows what that would do to Steve. It’s just too dangerous.
Bucky goes back down to security and watches Steve some more since he can. Both of their futures are up in the air and Bucky needs information. It’s a relief to watch him in one meeting after another. Some of the anxiety he was feeling just disappears as soon as he sees him.
They’ve got him in a military dress uniform and he looks stunning. Lots of photos, lots of security ranging the walls as he talks to people high up in the government and does some interviews. Steve laughs when other people laugh, he looks serious and contemplative, he signs things and gets brought coffee. Everything is normal. Everything is fine. That man is an alpha. Or, at least, he isn’t an omega so submissive he can’t be out of sight of his alpha.
Bucky gets a green tea at 3:30 and watches Steve some more. It’s creepy. He’s creeping himself out. Even though it’s legitimate and necessary, it’s still obsessive and he’s a little concerned Phil might come in or Natasha or anyone really, and they’ll want to know why he’s been gazing at Steve Rogers for hours.
He’s got this weird feeling like he needs to protect Steve. Despite the super-soldierness, it’s very clear Steve does not need his protection. He’s steady and clear-eyed, deliberate in his interactions. He smiles at the correct times, engages in conversation, gets every single alpha to back up and submit one way or another and once again no one touches him. Technically, everything is right. But, Bucky feels like something is wrong with Steve.
He hopes he’s projecting.
All Bucky can do is go by the evidence before his eyes. Steve certainly looks and acts like an alpha. If he shows up at the playmating group and acts like an alpha, then Bucky will take him into his office, do a hand slap exercise, see if they can do a bit of wrestling and if Rogers pins him, then the mystery will be solved. He’ll make an effort to become Steve’s friend (Steve definitely needs one) and they can put it behind them.
He desperately hopes that’s what happens. As gorgeous as Steve is, the alternative is frightening and isn’t something he would wish on his worst enemy. Or even Rumlow. Being that submissive is a curse.
It has to be a fluke.
Omegas as submissive as Steve was yesterday, have always been and still are viewed with pity. It’s still common for submissive omegas to be married off young. Court approval is given to parents allowing them to marry them off before the legal age of consent because it’s thought to be in their best interest. Very submissive omegas wind up in brothels, have high rates of self harm and even suicide. Drug use and alcoholism is common. They’re just traumatized too easily. The best case scenario for an omega that submissive is marriage, children and an alpha who is patient enough and gentle enough to deal with their needs.
They can be high strung, are typically very emotional and they have difficulty dealing with pain and violence. Everything has to be safe and curated. From their home life to their romantic relationships. They need to be pampered, given so much affection and praise that most alphas don’t even want a submissive omega as they get frightened easily and have difficulty with an alpha’s more feral demands. Rut can become a a nightmare. Alphas wind up feeling like they're catering to their omega rather than the other way around. Frankly, Bucky’s sympathy is with the omegas but society caters to alphas and they’re not all that sympathetic to an omega that can’t handle their affections.
The very idea that Steve Rogers is a submissive omega seems not just improbable but basically impossible. If he hadn’t seen it and experienced it, it never would’ve occurred to him. And, of course, the part of this that he’s really tried to not get too caught up in is what it means if this is Steve’s reaction to him and him alone? Compatibility. Steve already mentioned the word.
If Steve is a submissive omega then compatibility suddenly becomes a good option. The best case scenario. To need that level of care after getting his hand smacked is nuts if he isn’t keyed into Bucky. To instantly submit and make himself sexually available to an alpha as a coping mechanism, to offer himself so indiscriminately, even to the ‘alpha’ that just hurt him speaks of a level of submission beyond anything Bucky has ever seen. If that has nothing to do with compatibility, that’s awful.
What would happen to him if Bucky didn’t step in? What if this got out and he was unbonded? There are a vast number of nightmare scenarios he can think of where the government tries to get a hold of Steve Rogers by bonding him to an alpha of their choosing. Bucky feels sick. He checks his watch. Steve is leaving his meeting, has enough time to change and come to the playmating group. Bucky needs to go get ready for it anyway. And he’s just driving himself mad with these disastrous thoughts, anyway.
At 5:50pm, Bucky is trying not to pace his office. It’s going to be fine. Steve is an alpha. It was a fluke. He repeats it to himself over and over again.
Steve comes in wearing khaki pants and a blue sweater that matches his eyes and Bucky wants to touch him so badly he gets out of there as soon as he can. Playmating.
Playmating will fix everything.
It doesn’t fix anything because Steve won’t go. The man can’t leave his side. Thank god the room stinks of sex because he’d likely lose his mind if all he could scent was Steve’s anxiety. He catches himself reaching for him again and again, can’t even look at him, the bewildered fear on his omega’s face is making it difficult to concentrate on anything else. In a fit of desperation, he wades out to Sitwell, needing to draw Steve’s attention to the omega. Sitwell appeals to biological alphas on a weird level. It’s bizarre. No one looks at Sitwell and instantly thinks ‘catnip to alphas’ but there it is.
Sitwell now has a leather couch in his office and a door that locks. Fury had said it was like a whorehouse, wandering into a conference room and some alpha’s breeding him up. The alphas need the stress relief, god knows Sitwell loves it. It is what it is.
If Steve isn’t interested in Sitwell then he just isn’t a biological alpha.
When Bucky turns back around to see Steve’s reaction, half-expecting Steve to be right on his heels, ready to throw the alpha off Sitwell and use him himself, he’s gone.
Bucky goes back to his office, scents Steve’s distress and easily tracks him to the room they were in. The blankets are a mess. Steve is huddled in a corner. Omega, Bucky’s brain says. But Steve growls at him, pissed off and alpha because he scents other omegas on Bucky and it’s just disorienting enough, Bucky’s decision on their future too big, that he has to try again, give Steve one last chance to be an alpha.
He uses a wipe that will neutralize his own scent, wanting to present a blank slate, the image of omega. He won’t be Steve’s omega. That isn’t who he is. But, he can pretend for a bit. Do his job and make sure.
Steve reacts like Bucky has hit him. Withdraws, his scent spikes in fear and he’s gotta be close to going into a spiral of some sort. He reaches for Steve but Steve is already a little out of it, is whimpering quietly and doesn’t understand what’s in front of him. Who.
He gets up and walks away, takes a breath, gives Steve a moment to think. To look at Bucky, think about who he is and what he is. Bucky accentuates his own movements, stands a little broader than he normally would, is a little more threatening and invasive, wanting to register correctly to Steve, see if he can get back into the right headspace. Steve is trembling, confused, and smells of panic. It breaks Bucky’s heart. Steve might have been unsettled in the playgroup but Bucky is the one who’s upset him so much he’s cowering in this room.
“Were you looking for our blanket, sweetheart?” He asks, wanting to make sure, very sure, that he’s reading this right. Steve as a submissive omega who needed his alpha, needed a nest and to feel safe.
Steve doesn’t answer. He isn’t with him. “Steve, can you hear me?”
Steve’s eyes are wide and unfocused, tears streaming down his cheeks. He flinches when Bucky reaches for him so Bucky waits, talks to him until Steve blinks and looks in his direction. “You’re safe, baby. You’re fine. We’re gonna give it a minute and you’ll come back to me. You did good, Steve. You came to our place. Where we were. What a good boy. We’ll go home, Steve. You just need to look at me, come back to me and we’ll go home. You and me. If that’s… if that’s what you want,” he says, his confidence cracking for just a moment. He’s going to take Steve home? He’s going to claim Steve Rogers? Is he really?
Steve holds his breath. He’s listening now, Bucky is sure of it. “You’re okay, sweetheart,” Bucky says, again and again, opens his hand and finally Steve moves closer, is close to Bucky’s hard cock, undoubtedly wanting Bucky’s scent, needing to know he’s okay now. That he’s wanted. He’s waiting for an invitation, kisses Bucky’s leg while he waits for permission to press his face into Bucky’s groin. Steve won’t do anything without permission. No submissive omega would.
He doesn’t dare use the word ‘no’ with Steve right now. But, he can’t let Steve get his mouth on him. Not here.
Bucky lowers himself so the temptation is gone, gets Steve’s face cupped in his hands, wiping the tears from his cheeks, unable to stop himself from kissing him a little. He’s going to take Steve home and keep him safe. Steve whines, soft and desperate when Bucky stops kissing him.
Steve is his submissive omega. How, why, Bucky has no idea.
But Steve is certain when he says, “I’ll let you touch me. I need you to touch me. Not anyone else.”
Don't kill me! Next chapter forward progress... swear!
Updated tags. I'm sure you're all shocked at the addition! Not predictable at all!
“Okay,” Bucky says, pressing his forehead to Steve’s. He kisses him gently on the mouth again. “I’m going to take you home with me. How does that sound?”
“Ou-our home?” Steve asks. He doesn’t know why he’s shivering, isn’t sure he feels cold exactly, but he can’t help it.
“That’s right. It can be your home, too. If that’s what you want. You have a choice, Steve. I won’t be mad if you say no. But, if you want, I’d be honored to take you home. I want to claim you. Keep you. You’ll be mine for good.”
“Yes, alpha,” he whispers, and Bucky smiles at him, staring intently as Steve feels the heat of a blush spread upwards. Steve’s going home. He’s got his own alpha now. Beautiful and kind. He’s so nice. “I want to make you happy.” His bottom lip trembles. “What if I can’t? What if I’m not good at it?”
“All I want, in the whole entire world is for you to come home with me and let me take care of you. That will make me happy. I know you can do that. Don’t you?”
Steve doesn’t actually know if he can do that. What it entails, but he needs to be with Bucky and so he’ll try. He swallows hard, tries to say something but can’t. Bucky kisses his tears away.
“Pretty baby. You’re going to be so good for me. You are. I’m not worried,” he says, the words coiling around Steve, urging him to go nearer, making him feel heavy and empty inside. He should present now, he thinks, dimly.
“Home, honey. In our bed. Be my brave boy for a little bit longer. We have to get home,” he says. “Fix it in your mind, baby. Home. We have to get home. That’s the only thing that matters. It’s the most important thing.”
“Yes, alpha,” he says, after a long moment.
“Tell me, what are we doing? Where are we going? When does da— your alpha get to have you?”
“H-home. In bed.”
“Good boy. That’s right. Before we can go, I have to make sure everyone leaves the playmating group. Do you want to wait here or come with me? If you go with me you can hold my hand and stand next to me if you want. If you want to stay here I’ll give you my shirt and I’ll only be gone for a few minutes.”
“I want to go with you,” he whispers, glancing at Bucky’s shirt. The idea of Bucky being out of his sight is terrifying.
Bucky chuckles. “Does my good boy want my shirt, too?”
More than anything. He wants it so much that he freezes. Stares at Bucky’s shoulder and the tears well up again. “Can you tell me you want it, sweetheart? Ask me? You know I’m going to say yes. That I want you to have it,” he says, but Steve can’t think how he’d do it… he doesn’t even know. There’s just a wall of something like fear that’s keeping him still. And cold. Is it ice?
“Poor baby, what a little sweetheart you are, too scared to ask me for it? You’ve gotta let me know when you want things,” he says, kissing Steve on the cheek. He takes his shirt off and holds it out. A whimper gets caught in his throat. He wants to look, see his alpha’s chest. Wants to kiss him and lick him, present for him. The fear won’t let him. He breathes deeply, imagines his nose pressed against his skin, breathing him in and working his way down to his groin, where his alpha’s scent will be the strongest.
Steve stares to the side, muscles locked up tight. This is where Steve should take the shirt and say thanks. Behave normally. He doesn’t want to be so far removed, so distant from his alpha. What if his alpha thinks he doesn’t want him when the real problem is that Steve wants him too much? Steve wishes the fear wasn’t there. That he could ask or let Bucky know that he wants him more than anything. He knows the series of actions he’d take to reach for the shirt and at least get that part right. Why can’t he?
“Pretty baby,” Bucky says, and kisses him again. “Do you want to wear it? Want me to help you put it on? You’ll feel better I think. You just need to know you’re okay. You need to feel it. You’re scared because you can’t feel me inside you.”
Steve gasps, and Bucky reaches for Steve’s shirt, helps Steve take it off, his limbs uncoordinated. Bucky’s touch is firm, moving his limbs like he’s a doll. Bucky looks at his chest, hand brushing over Steve’s collarbone briefly. His skin is hot there after. “You’re beautiful. My beautiful omega,” Bucky says, and pulls his shirt over Steve’s head. It’s still a touch warm. It smells of him. Steve’s eyes close, his shoulders relax a little and it’s easier to breathe. “When we get home I’m going to put my mouth all over your chest. Play-suckle you until you’re sore and sated. That will be so nice for you. That’s one of the ways you get a hard alpha, did you know that?”
His chest aches and tingles. His nipples are hard and throbbing, wanting his alpha there, soothing the phantom hurt. Wanting his alpha hurts. Being lonely and untouched hurts. His hard alpha will fix it. What are the ways Steve gets that?
“Alpha,” Steve rasps. He needs to know the ways. He’ll remember. Then he can do them and they’ll both feel so good. He can’t ask the question. It’s enraging and terrifying to be hostage to himself. Steve offers his neck instead, something he can do, and Bucky touches him, stroking a finger over his claiming gland. But it’s not his mouth. His bite.
Steve whimpers because it aches. “You,” he whispers.
“I will, baby. I have to get you home first. Nothing so special should happen here. It has to happen at home.” His alpha’s voice is low, there’s a bit of growl in it and it makes the ache worse. Steve presses his hand over the gland and feels a little better. Steve presses harder.
“Let me see your eyes,” his alpha orders. “You can look at my hair if that’s easier. I just need to check,” he says. His alpha’s hair is brown and pretty. The weight of his alpha staring at him makes him tremble again.
“We need to go home, don’t we? Hmm, new plan… I know,” he says, kisses Steve on the forehead and pulls out his phone. Steve hears the ring. “Romanoff,” Nat says.
“Are you at work?”
“I came to playmating group to watch the spectacle and you’re both not here. It’s just the usual Sitwell gang rutting. Do you ever think it’s funny that his name is Sitwell?”
“Uh, yes, actually. I need a favor. Could you send everyone home for me? I have to get Steve out of here.”
“Maybe I should stay with him while you get rid of everyone?”
His alpha is touching Steve’s hair, scratching gently at the back of his head and it’s making Steve drowsy. He sways into his alpha, finds his face in his neck.
His alpha grunts. “No, we’re not in a good place for that. I won’t risk him with another alpha. He’s okay right now but I don’t think it’s going to last.”
“Can you get him home or do you need a ride?”
“No, I think I can get him there easily enough. If there’s a problem I might call you, but I think he’ll do well in the car. With me and safe and he’ll be fine.”
“Got it. I’ll keep my ringer on. And Bucky? Congratulations.”
Bucky’s hand clenches in his hair. “Thank you,” he says, and Steve shivers.
The door opens. Steve hears it. His gaze unfocused and the world distant and unimportant. But the door means something. Bucky rises. Steve looks up his body, sees his alpha is hard for him and he starts to reach for his cock but Bucky stops him, steps away and Steve tries to get himself together. The fog clears and Steve pushes to his feet.
Rumlow is there, reeking of omegas he’s taken advantage of and used. His gaze lands on Steve. “I wouldn’t believe it if I didn’t see it. Looks like it’s a good thing I’m here. I know an omega needing to get fucked when I see one,” Brock says. Brock glances at Bucky, scoffs. “He can’t help you, Cap. ”
Steve growls, low in his throat. “Leave,” Steve demands.
“Just a minute,” Bucky says, hoarsely. “What did you want, Brock?”
“I was gonna take a few blankets over for Jasper. But, if Cap is an omega then I want him. I won’t be the only one. Better get in there quick. He’ll be sloppy by the end of the week if he’ll present for you. Jesus Christ.” Before he can say another word Steve is on him, slams Rumlow into the wall, pins him to the mat.
“Next time you open your mouth I’ll rip your dick off,” Steve threatens.
Rumlow snarls, tries to move and Steve shoves his arm high, feels the edge and strain, anymore force and he’ll dislocate at the shoulder.
“Steve!” Bucky shouts, and Steve stops, obeying instantly. The rage dissolving instantly. He looks to Bucky, sees his alpha wide eyed and unhappy with him. No. Steve can’t deal with that. The way Bucky’s voice was raised, the look on his face. It’s all just too much. He backs away from Brock, stares at the ground and waits, trying desperately to keep it together. His alpha will be so angry.
Brock limps to the door. He casts a glance back, looking between them. “I’ll be damned. Two unnaturals. You let him fuck you with that attitude?” Brock says, and leaves. It’s the worst thing he could have said. Steve wouldn’t try to fuck Bucky. Not ever. He doesn’t know what to do now. What if his alpha is offended? Humiliated? What if his alpha doesn’t believe that Steve wouldn’t ever try to mount him? Steve already doesn’t look like he should. To have other people say it is more than Steve can bear.
He bites his lip. Tastes blood. Which is as it should be. He needs to hurt, has to get the grief and pain out of himself and have it spill into the world.
“Bucky,” he whispers, because Bucky told him he needed to say something if he was going to hurt himself. That it wasn’t okay. Right now, the only thing that makes any sense is pain. “I wouldn’t try to do that to you. Not ever.” His voice breaks. It’s just so awful. He’s bad, so very bad. Unlovable and unwanted. Will Bucky still be his alpha? Why would he want to?
Bucky makes a low sound. Steve can see him approaching out of the corner of his eye. Bucky gets close and Steve trembles, takes a step towards his alpha. Bucky’s arms open and he goes eagerly, knocking Bucky back a step.
“Are you all right? What’s going on?“
“You aren’t happy with me. I’m sorry about the things he said.“
“Steve, you’re not responsible for the things he said. He’s an asshole. He is ignorant and he is nothing to us.”
Steve shakes his head, unable to accept the words.
“Look at me, where is my good boy now? Do you still want to be sweet for me?“
“Of course I do,“ he whispers. Steve sobs softly. The need to hurt himself and make amends is almost overwhelming. Trying to ignore it and push it down is difficult.
Buckys smile is soft and gentle. “Good boy. That makes me so happy. It’s exactly what I need, isn’t it? Honey, I’m happy you can protect yourself. I’m happy you can protect me. I was scared you wouldn’t be able to. I’m sorry he upset you but this is a good thing and I’m relieved.”
Steve whines, soft and desperate for his alpha. Bucky rubs his bristled cheeks all over Steve’s, scent marking him. Steve tries to press closer. “Please? Before we go? I’m not steady. I want to hurt myself. You said to tell you.”
“I understand,” Bucky says, very softly. “You should tell me. Always tell your alpha. Against the wall, kitten,” Bucky says, and cages him in. Steve turns, presses his face to the wall, spreads his legs hip width.
“Let’s get you ready to travel. Perfect. Arch, sweetheart. Do you want to offer me your ass, honey?”
“Yes, please,” he whispers. It’s so nice to be able to move and tell his alpha he wants him. To not be frozen with so much fear. What’s different? Why is it easier right now?
“Course you do, course you fucking do. God damn, everything for your alpha, isn’t that right, sweetheart?”
He nods, shivers as Bucky presses close.
“Ground? Mount me?” He pleads.
“No, baby. In bed, remember. This is just to get you home. You were so good. I want you too much. Just a little something so we can go.”
Bucky’s hands grip his, adjust them on the wall with a careful touch, and Steve presses back, needing to feel his alpha’s cock against his ass. Doesn’t his alpha know he can have it? Bucky brings his hand along Steve’s arm, to his neck, strokes over the back of it and Steve offers, tilting down and to the side.
“And your neck, too?” There’s a hint of growl in Bucky’s words.
“Everything,” Steve breathes. His alpha should take whatever he wants, whenever he wants it.
“You’re just the sweetest thing. So giving and soft. But only for me. You’re not interested in anyone else, are you?“
“Of course not. Because you’re mine. Just for me. Isn’t that right? My omega. That’s the only thing that makes any sense. No one else can get close, no other alpha makes you want to submit and go down. No omega makes you feel a thing. But you get close to me and you want to give me everything, don’t you? And I want that too, sweetheart. I’ll be whatever you need me to be. And do you know what that is? I think I do. I think I worked it out. Got my baby, my good boy all worked out. You need softness, you need gentleness, you need the sweetest alpha possible. You just need to be bundled up and protected. You’ve got to be touched so sweetly and so softly and kindly, don’t you, honey? Anything else and you’ll just fall apart.”
“Yes,” He sobs. Bucky licks his neck and Steve gasps, high noises coming from him.
“Fuck,” Bucky growls, low and deep and then his mouth is on Steve’s neck and he’s biting him hard. Steve slumps bonelessly to the wall as his alpha bites him harder and harder. He whimpers when Bucky lets him go and starts to lick and suck at the area, stinging and throbbing, making the sensation grow.
“Are you hard, babydoll?”
He sighs in pleasure at the name, his voice high and breathy. “No, alpha.”
Bucky’s hard cock grinds against his ass and Steve moans. “I want to check. Is my good boy going to let me?”
Steve presses back, whimpers in consent and Bucky’s hands slide around his waist, brush lower and then over the front of his pants. There’s a faint hesitation and he knows his alpha is surprised he hasn’t felt him yet. His alpha groans and slips lower, finally just cups Steve’s balls in his hand, his thumb stroking lightly over the soft, small head.
“There you are. Pretty boy. So soft and small. Fuck, I wouldn’t have guessed you’d be so sweet and soft,” he growls and nips at Steve’s neck. Steve presses into his hand, wanting something but he doesn’t know what. He’s restless and needy, squirms closer, writhing in his alpha’s grip.
“Shh, settle sweetheart. God, that’s so difficult for such a tiny omega, isn’t it? Beautiful. What a good boy. Not hard at all.”
“Alpha!” He sobs and Bucky bites his neck until he shudders and calms down a little, his grip steady on Steve’s cock and balls. He slumps against the wall with a sob, suddenly tired.
“There you go. A tiny struggle and surrender. Your alpha’s got you. We’ve got to get you ready to travel, don’t we? Let me tell you what I want for you. What I want to give my good boy to make him feel good and content until I get you home. I think you need to release. I think you need some messy panties.”
Steve cries out, horrified, scared. He doesn’t want everybody to know. See his damp pants, smell it on him. How can his alpha want that from him?
“Poor baby, is that too much?“
“I can’t! Alpha, please don’t make me.“
“Sweetheart, it’s not to be mean to you. You said you felt like you needed to hurt yourself. And that’s how you feel if you don’t think you’ve been a good omega for me. So, if you do this now, something you know I want and something you find scary, then that bad feeling is gonna go away. And that’s what I want. I don’t want my omega to have any bad feelings.”
Steve trembles, uncertain. “Promise no one will see.”
“I don’t know if they’ll see, but they’ll know you’re mine. And that will make you feel good. I think you’d like it. You’d want everyone to know you’re messy for me—”
“Alpha, no!” He whines, pressing back, empty. Bucky cups his cock a little more firmly, raising the mass of it in his hand, making Steve feel small and dainty. Owned. Steve goes still again. Panting and a tremble racing through him. He’s so hot in his alpha’s hand. Safe.
“Alpha….You, though? You want it, too?” The words are slurred and Steve doesn’t know why.
“I do, baby. I’d make you release, get you all wet and sticky and that would make me need to come too. I’d come all over your pretty bottom. Mark you up. I’ll rub it into your skin and then I’ll take you home. That’s what I think you need to travel. That will make you feel safe and happy.”
“Alpha, I’m scared.”
“I know, sweetheart. But, I also know I’m right. So, let’s do this, this one time. And if you don’t like it, if you don’t think it was right for you, then we won’t do it again.“
Steve nods in agreement, giving in to his alpha, trusting him.
“Fuck, what a good boy. You stay right where you are, keep those hands right where I put them and let me see. Let me have a proper feel.“
The desire rolling off of his alpha makes Steve feel drunk and weak. Bucky’s touch is gentle, confident but careful, as if he has all the time in the world. Steve’s eyes are closed, his breath shallow as all of his focus narrows in on his pants being undone and his alpha pressed hard and close against his ass.
The button comes undone and Steve whimpers. Bucky shushes him gently. And then the zipper comes down with a soft hiss and Bucky’s cock twitches against his ass.
“How good you’re being for me. Aren’t you?“ Bucky kisses his neck, his hand dips in, scooping up the mass of Steve’s cock and balls into his big, strong hand.
“Oh,” Steve whimpers, stunned at how good it feels to have his alpha’s warm, dry hand holding him so carefully.
“Fuck, you’re warm and soft. You’re so silky and sweet for me. What a very good boy you are. Gentle now,” he promises.
Steve stays still, waiting while his alpha touches him with soft fingers, stroking over his small balls and telling him how perfect they are. “And now this little cock. How do you think we get this little cock to go? Tell your alpha. Do you know? I want you to release in my hand. Do you like a soft touch, honey?”
“I don’t know, alpha.”
“Pretty baby, don’t you touch yourself? Make yourself feel good?”
“No,” he whispers, ashamed. “It never gets hard, alpha.”
“Of course it doesn’t. You have a cocklet, sweetheart. You’re the very opposite of an alpha. You don’t get hard but soft. So beautiful. But it can take a little time to work out what you need. Exactly what you like,” he murmurs. “Turn your head. I want to kiss you, good boy.”
Steve whimpers, turns his head like he’s seeking out the sun, mouth open. His alpha crowds closer, cock so hard and big between Steve’s cheeks. But tucked away. “Empty,” he whispers, into Bucky’s kiss.
“Home, sweetheart. Be good for me. Let me play.” He kisses Steve slow but deep, pausing every now and again to move his hand, to gauge Steve’s reaction to the new gentle touch. If Steve whimpers or twitches in his arms he gets another kiss. Gets a soft, rubbing touch. He needs more. The tremble grows and his alpha grips him tighter around the waist, supporting him so he doesn’t fall.
“There you go. You gonna let it happen? Gonna give that to me?”
He whines, scared.
“Good boy. You’re close. No more struggling now. You’re gonna put that mess in my hand. You just need it so soft,“ he murmurs, into Steve’s ear. “Soft and careful. Don’t we have to be careful?“ he asks, and Steve holds his breath, frozen again. He can’t cry out, can’t whimper and whine, can’t ask for more. The touch is slow and maddening. His muscles are so tight, he can’t stop shaking. He needs it faster, harder, something.
Steve gasps, suddenly wet. He holds his breath as the soft quaking goes through him.
“There you go. Don’t move. I’ve got you. Are you feeling it, sweetheart? Let it happen. Good boy. Pretty mess just like I wanted. Pay attention to it, give in and you get to feel it for longer.“
Time goes by, the ripples getting quieter and then more distant, leaving Steve behind. It was so much. So violent and beyond his control. Steve’s lower lip trembles.
And now he’s all wet. His alpha’s hand is covered in warm, sticky release. Bucky pants into his ear as he shoves his pants down one handed, gets his cock out. Steve can smell him. He whimpers, and goes soft and quiet inside.
“Offer it up. Tilt, sweetheart.”
Steve tilts, feels his cheeks part, his alpha’s cock kisses his cheek but not his hole, isn’t even close. Steve whimpers and whines, desperate for it. And then his alpha groans, coats his ass with come. “Not your hole, honey. Not yet,” he gasps, and Steve nods, accepting.
Bucky moans in relief and Steve forces himself to stay upright, to not slump to the ground. “We’re gonna rub it in. People won’t see but they’ll smell it all over you. Bucky rubs his come into Steve’s cheeks and pats some gently onto Steve’s delicate balls and onto his nub of a cock. Bucky makes a contented hmm sound and pulls up Steve’s underwear and pants.
“Th- thank you, alpha.” He sniffles, tears sliding down his face.
“You’re very welcome. Pretty on you. God, you look so right covered in my come.” It fills Steve with pleasure, how happy his alpha is.
“Could we—“ He sobs, too ashamed to ask.
“What? Anything, baby.” Bucky kisses his neck softly.
“Take me home now,” Steve whispers.
“That’s right, my good boy. We’re going home now.”
Bucky has to shut down his office first. He needs a new shirt for one thing. He pulls on a shirt and is about to put on his jacket when he hears the quietest whimper. At least, he thinks he does. He turns to see Steve but he’s looking off to the side and down, lip caught between his teeth. “Here, sweetheart,” he says, and drapes it around him, helps Steve put one arm and then the other into the sleeves. He pulls it close and prepares to zip it up while Steve stands there, quiet and accepting. Now he’s staring at Bucky’s face. He does it whenever he thinks Bucky won’t notice.
Bucky takes a long moment to fiddle with the zip so Steve can look. He needs to get comfortable, trust Bucky and he can’t do that if he doesn’t look his fill and memorize his face and expressions. “You’re my best boy. I’m going to take such good care of you,” he says, smiling gently. “You’re going to be so safe and happy. You can ask me for anything….There we go,” he says, gently and pulls the zip up, giving Steve time to look away. Someday, he’ll look up and meet Steve’s gaze and it will be steady on his.
That’s the goal.
Bucky takes off his work pants and puts on his jeans, his socks and shoes, then reaches out a hand for Steve.
Steve is close, has been barely out of touching distance while Bucky changed clothes and moved around the room. For all intents and purposes, he is a very obedient omega paying close attention to his alpha. When he reaches out his hand, Steve is ready, grasping his in return and moving in close.
A patient omega who was waiting for an invitation. “Come on, my good boy.”
Steves smiles, looking at the ground and his cheeks going pink. He thinks Steve seems a bit more relaxed now, with Bucky’s jacket and shirt on, covered in come, having released. But, he’s still not easy or confident. His fear response is to freeze, which is utterly bizarre considering fight is the response one expects of Steve Rogers. He’s two different people almost. Well, add in Captain America and maybe it’s three.
He’s a submissive omega that will need so much care that Bucky wonders if there’s more there. Not just submission but trauma. And Steve’s the alpha who can and will beat the hell out of anyone if he thinks it’s justified. Not just for himself but others, including his alpha. Steve’s ability to protect himself against Rumlow while in Bucky’s presence is a relief. It adds more evidence to the fact that his submission is completely and utterly tied into one person.
Would Steve’s life be better without him in it?
In the elevator, Steve stands close but waits. Bucky wraps his arm around him, urging him to tuck in tight. Steve goes with a sigh, pressing his nose into Bucky’s neck. “You’re mine, but I’m yours too. You always come close when you want. Always have hugs and comfort.” Steve presses his lips to Bucky’s neck and then shivers like he’s done something daring. “Good boy,“ Bucky whispers, and kisses the top of his head. Steve sighs in relief. There will never be enough praise for Steve.
They go down to the parking garage and Bucky leads Steve to his car, opening the door so he can get in. Bucky lowers himself, squatting low so Steve will be the same height. “Do we need to stop at your place for anything?”
“Not if I… I don’t want to,” Steve says.
“What about clothes, sweetheart? Medicines, books, anything?” Bucky touches a finger to Steve’s jaw, urging him to make eye contact. The flush of pink embarrassment washes up his cheeks.
“You want me to dress you, babydoll?” He finally asks. The silence is a little unsettling. Steve’s submission is weirdly debilitating.
“Yes, alpha,” he finally says.
“Then that’s what we’ll do,” he says, smiling at him and kissing him on the cheek before he closes the door.
He starts the car, turns the music down a little and drives Steve home. He wants Steve in his clothes, anyway. And it’s not like he has the ability or desire to deny Steve.
It isn’t too long into the drive before Steve shifts in his seat.
“What is it, honey?“
“What if I make a mess on your seat? Everything is very wet, alpha,“ his voice trembles and he says it quietly. Shy if Bucky had to guess.
“If my car winds up smelling like your release, I’ll consider myself lucky.”
Steve huffs in amusement. Presses his hand to his mouth in embarrassment. His scent indicates that he’s pleased. “Is it far?“
“20 minutes or so.”
“And, do you live alone?
Bucky puts his hand on Steve’s knee. Steve exhales and the tension goes with him, the hard muscle under his hand going soft.
“I do live alone. And I’m not seeing anyone. If that was something you’re worried about.“
“That is something I... thought about.” Steve tenses up again. Bucky squeezes. Steve nods, and Bucky puts his hand on the back of Steve’s neck. Steve’s eyes close and the warm scent of aroused contentment rises. “Yesterday, you said we couldn’t be compatible. Is that...what do you think about that now?“ Steve asks, glancing at him and then away.
“Well, there is definitely some kind of connection between us. I don’t know what the label is and maybe there isn’t even one. If our secondary genders fit neatly into the described categories of alpha and omega then I would say yes, I think we are compatible. And I would offer for you. I’d want you as my own.”
“What kind of offer?” Steve whispers.
“Whatever you wanted, actually.” His thumb brushes gently over Steve’s claiming gland and Steve shivers.
“You’d marry me?” He breathes. “You’re a beta and... do you think I’m an alpha?”
“Not for me. When you’re with me, you’re an omega. And you are a very submissive one. You turning up in that playmating group tonight, me trying to not be your alpha when it was so difficult for you… that was awful.” They can’t do that again. “I won’t let it be like that again, Steve. I’m sorry.”
Steve nods, swallows hard. “Good. I don’t… I’m not doing that again, either. I’ve been thinking, too. You are my alpha. The rest of it seems like bullshit. Feels... unimportant.”
“What do you mean by that?“
“I feel null. I think that identity fits me. It’s easy to behave like an alpha because it just doesn’t matter. I can look someone in the eyes because I don’t feel anything. When an omega comes close to me I feel guilty because it’s clear they want something from me. They think that I am an alpha or have something they need or want. It’s like they’re asking me to dance and I don’t know the steps. And I don’t want to. Everyone else can dance, I want nothing to do with it. But then, with you, I feel like maybe I was just at the wrong dance, maybe I already knew the steps but I was in the wrong place or, I don’t even know.”
“If I were you, I’m not sure I’d be very happy about having one person that makes me feel like someone else. Someone who makes me feel like a submissive omega... I guess I can’t imagine that’s what you want. I want you. I’ll marry you and keep you and have you as my omega, Steve. You feel like you’re meant to be mine.” He hates having to ask, but leaving Steve alone might be what his omega wants. And if he does, Bucky will honor that. He’ll likely need to quit his job and move, but he’ll do it. “But, I can’t help but think that if I left you alone, you might never have to deal with this. You wouldn’t be an omega. Not a… submissive omega. Steve, you’re helpless when you’re with me. Honey, you freeze and you get scared and… I do believe it will even out and get better with routine and as you feel safer, but choosing to be with me... you’re losing a hell of a lot. And you will always be very submissive. That wouldn’t go away. Pleasing me will make you content. You have to be so vulnerable, give up so much of your autonomy.”
Steve glances at him. He meets Bucky’s gaze actually. And isn’t that something?
“You go from being single to having a dependent, Bucky. I do freeze and I need a lot of— well, I need a lot of everything. It’s already so much attention and you’re very good to me,” he says, frowning. “It’s a demand upon you… I understand if you don’t want to be stuck with me. Permanently my alpha.”
“I don’t see it that way. I want you, Steve. More than anything. You’re mine. But—“
“I’m not losing,” Steve says, interjecting. “I’m gaining. Getting to keep you, be part of you, be us, it’s everything.”
He waits. Steve isn’t done. Finally, he says, “When you’re like I was, the world is a certain way. People treat you a certain way, you think of yourself like they do, it’s impossible not to. After the serum, I was someone new. I felt good physically, but every day is sort of like a dream. Things are distant and I’m not part of the world. It was very easy to put that plane down. I’d do it again without hesitation. If they want me on a suicide mission, I’ll go. Not because I want to die, particularly, but because I just don’t feel anything, either way.” Steve reaches for Buckys hand on his leg, picks it up and pulls it to his mouth, kissing his knuckles. “You make me feel. Desire, fear, comfort, safety. I like it. I want it. Why wouldn’t I want this with you?”
“Do you happen to notice how easily we’re having this conversation,” Bucky asks, glancing at him.
Steve meets his gaze again, smiling. It doesn’t meet his eyes. “I do.”
“Do you have any idea why?”
The answer is fast. Ready. “Because you might leave me. This is a very unsafe moment, Bucky. My arm tingles because I don’t have my shield.” He chuckles, “I know that’s bizarre. I don’t feel you like I normally would. You’re further away and I’m a little shut down or closed off. So, it’s easier.”
“And.. is that… good?”
Steve runs his hand through his hair. “No, I don’t think so. If you want out this would be a good time to do it, I guess. I’ve got my armor up or whatever it is. I liked it better before, alpha. But, I’ll be okay. If you don’t want this. I can get by on my own. I’ve done that for a long time.”
Bucky has no idea what to say to that. Obviously he has to say something. “I just want you to be safe and happy. Or to choose what you think will help you feel that way. I’ll do whatever is right for you.”
“It’s easy for you to let me go,” Steve says, with a smile. Understanding or sympathetic. It’s unnerving, because he can scent Steve’s distress, he can feel it prickling against his skin, but Steve appears fine.
“No, it isn’t. I guess, maybe it’s a bit like you. There’s a hard decision to be made so we’ll make it and if I have to deal with the repercussions afterwards then I will. I’ll fall apart after. Look at me, it wouldn’t be easy, Steve. That is not what I want,” Bucky says, firmly.
Steve drops his gaze. Steve flexes his hand, touches where the strap would go. “Then, is that it? We stay together? You’ll claim me?”
“Yeah, sweetheart. That’s exactly what’s gonna happen.”
Thanks to Mitsusu who was so amused (horrified?) by the idea of Sitwell getting gang rutted that she made up a magazine cover for it. ALSO, this goes along with the cover for her own playmating Stucky fic which is linked below as well as the Chris cover she made bc it's gorgeous and deserves to be seen!! Her writing is great and I highly recommend... if you've seen these covers and don't want to read it then idk what to say.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
As they get closer to Bucky’s home, the reality of what they’re doing and what’s about to happen sinks in. He’s taking his omega home. There are traditions around that. Expectations. Bucky should meet Steve’s family, get approval.
Steve has no family. No one will give approval. He is an omega alone in the world.
There’s been no courting.
Bucky should have a gift for his omega and he doesn’t. And he’s taking him home without either a bite or a ring or, if they were going old-school even a collar. And Steve certainly doesn’t have a pillow, if that’s something he wants. Comfort pillows were popular for centuries but fell out of favor after WW2 ended. When the alphas returned home from the war, a lot of omegas didn’t want to go back to being property, to being tied and mounted with only a pillow to comfort them. What was seen as a sign of devotion very quickly came to be seen as a representation of oppression.
The one group they’re still popular among is submissive omegas. Something to hold onto, to help self-soothe, to make breeding easier, a reminder of their alpha’s devotion, there are a lot of reasons submissive omegas like comfort pillows still.
He should get one for Steve.
And, Bucky hasn’t bought anything to help Steve make a nest. He wishes he was doing better by Steve. Not that the situation allowed it. They just got together too fast. Which happens. Meeting the perfect mate, getting together in a whirlwind, it’s not uncommon. But still. How much does Steve mind or will he mind when he realizes? Hell, will he realize? His knowledge is so lacking he may have no idea what he’s missing out on.
But that doesn’t mean Bucky doesn’t need to fix the problem. Steve will need the support, the props and physical signs of an alpha’s affections. It’s important to Steve and therefore important to Bucky.
And there’s something enticing, weirdly sexy about getting to pamper his shielded omega, introduce him to things, watch him learn to enjoy them. There’s a reason the shy, virginal omega was and still is a fantasy. Bucky’s previous realtionships, especially with omega leaning betas, typically involved an element of roleplay, of hyper-alpha displays (which they loved) and hyper-innocent omega displays (which Bucky got off on).
With Steve, it’s real.
Bucky’s arousal is becoming annoyingly insistent and he shoves the images and ideas down, focuses on Steve and how much better he deserves. They’ll get there, but for now, all of his attention must be on Steve’s needs at the expense of his own. Bucky needs to get it right from the beginning.
“We’re doing this a little backwards, you know?”
Steve swallows hard, hands twisting in his lap. “Maybe,” he says, and Bucky can’t get a read on if he agrees and feels like Bucky isn’t wooing him appropriately, or if he’s thinking of other things.
“Anything you want, traditions, expectations you have… we can find a way to do that. I want to give you whatever will make you happy, baby.”
Steve’s head tilts in a way that could be confusion. “Are you really going to keep me? We’re really going to go into,” he licks his lips, “your home and it’s going to be mine now?”
“I— yes, that’s the plan,” he says, “I know you don’t feel it yet, maybe it seems like it could be taken away from you. That’s unsettling. You’ll feel better once you get a bite and are in my territory.”
Steve’s hands press against his eyes and Bucky has no idea what that means. His shoulders hunch in and he takes a shaky breath. “I think I need food, alpha,” he says, quietly.
“When’s the last time you ate?” He asks, hand on the back of Steve’s neck. Steve sighs as Bucky squeezes, presses against his hand for a firmer touch.
“I don’t know. It’s not hunger. I mean, I am hungry. But, it’s not the reason I’m,” He sniffles, wipes tears from his eyes. “I think there will be a bit of fallout from… it’s hard to get into that place of thinking I can let you go,” he says, softly. “I think I’m just not feeling very well now, alpha,” he says.
“Are you worried you’ll be sick?”
“No, I… it’s just emotional. Your touch helps.”
Bucky squeezes more firmly, maintains the pressure until Steve’s hand flexes, strays towards his cock.
“Cup yourself, honey. It’s soothing,” he urges, pleased and beyond aroused to watch Steve slip into submissive behaviors so easily.
Steve stares hard out the window, hand pressing between his legs, cupping his cock and balls in his hand protectively. Frankly, it’s hard to watch the fucking road, Steve is so gorgeously needy. Steve shivers, presses into the touch a little, his head turning even further towards the window. There’s a small whimper.
“Look at d— alpha.”
Steve is so out of it he doesn’t seem to have noticed the slip up. It’s the second time he’s almost called himself daddy. Almost shoved Steve there instead of letting him come to it on his own. Steve turns to him, biting his lip.
“Is that better, baby? You wishing it was my hand on you?”
“Yes. Will you secure me, alpha?”
Bucky’s cock throbs at the soft way he asks, needy and uncertain. And it’s such an old-fashioned term. Secured versus caged. “Sweetheart, you don’t get hard. So, you don’t need it for training. Do you want your cocklet locked away?”
Steve’s thumb strokes over the barely there bulge of his cock and balls. It’s a self-soothing behavior. “I never thought it’d be something that I wanted. I don’t know.”
“Let’s see how the next few days go. We can get a cage and see if you like it. It might make you feel safe and owned. I’m not ruling it out and it’s common for soft omegas to like the feelings it brings.”
Steve takes his hand away, looks down, puts it back and grips firmly. Steve sighs.
“Good boy. Hold onto yourself until we’re home. Don’t let go.”
Steve relaxes, slumps lower in his seat, legs widening to get a better grip on himself. Pleased at being given permission. Steve tucks his nose into Bucky’s jacket, breathing him in. Steve is suddenly content, his scent changing.
“Good boy,” he says, and it’s shocking how quickly Steve becomes content if he’s treated as a submissive omega. Surrender and submission, physical and mental reminders of his alpha’s control, those are things Steve will need to relax and thrive. Steve needs to be overwhelmed, certain of the fact that this is right. That he is home and safe. It’s particularly important today, when he’s going into Bucky’s home, what will from now on be his home. It’s a vulnerable time for any omega.
A time of fear and uncertainty for the stablest omega. And their conversation has made it worse. Steve feels ill because he was almost abandoned and set adrift. Steve practically dissociates just at the thought of being without Bucky.
And then they’re home. Bucky pulls into the garage, turns off the engine and turns to Steve. “Wait for me,” he says, and gets out of the car and goes to Steve’s side. He opens the door, undoes Steve’s seatbelt, kisses him quickly on the mouth, his hand over Steve’s, between his legs. “Good boy. Let go now,”he orders, and holds out a hand. Steve blinks blearily. His eyes are damp. Steve takes Bucky’s hand, squeezing a little too tightly and then letting go.
“I know how to get out of a car,” he says, waiting for Bucky to back up so he can get out. It’s uncertain, a little glance up at Bucky like a test.
“I know you know, I came over here to help you,” he growls, hand still extended. Steve takes his hand again and Bucky backs up, allowing him out. Steve moves slowly, his cheeks flushed. “Good boy,” he says, and closes the door, pulling Steve in for a hug. Steve sighs and whimpers as he presses close, trying to burrow into Bucky.
“Brave boy. It’s all done now. Come see your home and let’s get you comfortable.” He rests his hand on Steve’s lower back, guiding him into the house. He tries to see it as Steve would. It’s a three bedroom house, not particularly large but in a good neighborhood. Bucky bought the house as a fixer upper and just decided to stay in it.
Wood floors and large area rugs. For furniture, he’s gone more for comfort than style. Things are fairly neutral. His sister said Restoration Hardware and she’d chosen the gray/blue wall color and all the brushed nickel fixtures. Everything is oversized so it can accommodate him and his omega, the couch extra deep, the chairs extra wide, the materials some form of washable velvet or linen. Pleasing to the most delicate of omegas who are touch sensitive. He hopes Steve likes it. He’s a clean person and tidy, so unexpectedly acquiring a mate and having them move in isn’t cause for panic.
“What do you think?” He asks, feeling a little nauseous. It was good enough for Bucky. He’d thought it was good enough for a mate if the day came, but now he’s not sure. And his mate is Steve Rogers. His mate deserves the best. Is anything going to be good enough for Steve Rogers?
“It’s perfect, alpha. Your home is really nice. Smells like you,“ he says, leaning closer and pressing into Bucky. Bucky wraps his arms around him and Steve sighs, gives up on looking around and tries to get closer. Steve shivers. It’s not cold in the house. He can tell Steve is excited and anxious. “It’s really nice,” he whispers, genuinely pleased. It’s a relief.
“It’s been a big day for my omega,” he says, and pulls him close, pressing Steve’s face into his neck so he’s surrounded by him and feels safe.
“Yes, alpha,“ Steve says, on an unsteady sigh. “I… can I… a little,” he whispers, clutching Bucky closer. His nose rubs over Bucky’s neck.
“Go ahead, sweetheart,” he urges, and there’s a quick press of dampness as Steve tastes his skin. Steve shudders, shifts in place, presses himself a little closer. He feels Bucky hard against him and goes still.
“Please?” His hand brushes Bucky’s thigh.
“We’re not dealing with that right now, sweetheart. I like having you close and you feel good pressed up against me. My omega. But, we’re going to do this slowly and how I want it,” he says, and pulls back, looks Steve in the eyes. “You ignore it unless I tell you differently, understand, baby? You’ll play with my cock a lot, you won’t be denied, but right now I need to take care of you. I know you’ll be me good boy and take care of me whenever I want, won’t you?”
“Yes, alpha.” He blushes and looks back at Bucky’s neck. “Go on, sweetheart. It’s okay,” he says, encouragingly. He puts a hand on Steve’s neck, bringing him close again, tilting his head so his omega can scent and taste him. A daring omega would nip, might even bite. He’d be surprised if Steve did that.
Steve whimpers quietly, licks again, panting and trembling as Bucky rubs his hand up and down his back to reassure him. He’s adorable, soft and gentle as a kitten, so submissive he needs to be encouraged every step of the way. Bucky waits, patient, keeping his own urges on lockdown so his omega can get comfortable. Pleasure coils through Bucky and he closes his eyes, enjoying how needy his omega is, how much of a struggle it is for Steve, knowing that if he can wait just a little longer Steve will be overcome and he’ll take what he needs.
He wants Steve comfortable and safe, would like for him to be so aroused that he acts and overcomes his shyness.
Steve gasps and shudders. Bucky presses low on his back so Steve is pressed right up against his erection. Steve presses close again, finally opens his mouth on Buckys neck, sucking gently, needy sounds coming from him.
“There you go, sweetheart. Good boy.”
Steve whimpers into his skin and sucks harder. His teeth are gentle, polite and almost questioning as he mouths over the skin. As if he’s scared he’ll be rejected or do it wrong. “Alpha,” he pleads, and his hand slides over his own ass, pressing between his cheeks. Steve sobs in frustration.
“Shh, you’re okay,” Bucky says, gruffly. “Your cocklet, honey. That’s what you hold. Alpha holds your needy bottom.” He’s shocked Steve got there so quickly, went from a taste of his alpha’s neck to empty enough that he needs pressure and touch back there. Steve sobs as he lets go, pressing his hand to his soft cock, his other arm holding tight around Bucky’s neck. Bucky slides his hand down, over Steve’s ass and then cups him firmly over his hole. “Poor baby, are you feeling empty, sweetheart?”
“I can’t, I can’t, it’s too much,” Steve says, and Bucky hauls him to the couch, gets him on it, pressing him back and laying on top of him.
Steve’s wide eyed, mouth open in surprise, his hands clenching on Bucky’s shoulders. He offers his neck. “Am I good? A good— please?”
“Good what?” Bucky asks, gruffly, kissing his mouth, his hand wandering up Steve’s chest to his pointed nipple. Steve’s legs come up, wrapping around him.
“Good… you know.”
“Maybe I don’t. Ask me. You’re very good. I’m sure the answer is yes.”
“Alpha, no. Please, tell me I am.”
Bucky nips Steve on the neck, scenting him. Has to grind against his sensitive omega. “Good what, honey? My good omega?”
“No, I, not that one.”
“My good little sweetheart?”
“Alpha,” he whispers, as Bucky begins to nip at his neck, over his scent gland.
“Pretty baby. You are. You’re the very best boy. My good boy, is that the one?”
“Yes, da— I like it.”
“Good. It suits you,” he growls, and squeezes his plump breast, rubbing his fingers over his nipple, aching to bury himself in his good boy after the almost slip up. He was willing to take it slow, work up to the idea of Steve calling him daddy, but it’s close. His baby is thinking it. “Pretty titty, show it to me,” he says, and urges Steve to lift enough so his shirt raises. His stomach is hard muscle, chiseled and dense. He’s hairless and his nipple is so pink and pointed. Bucky lowers his head and licks over the bud with a flat tongue.
Steve arches up into his mouth.
“Does that feel good? You must be so sensitive. A good boy like yourself needs to be mouthed often.”
“Yes, please,” he chokes out, and shoves a hand down, cupping himself awkwardly. As soon as Steve’s nipple is in his mouth he goes limp under Bucky. Utterly passive. Bucky sucks and starts to use teeth, Steve barely rousing beyond a confused whimper when he’s particularly rough. He pulls back often, looking to see how puffy Steve’s nipple is getting.
If there’d been any doubt left in his mind about Steve’s gender, it’s gone now. Only omegas react so strongly to having their nipples stimulated. Swelling and getting dark in color, the nipple engorged, Steve’s passivity, the heavy warmth in his scent that indicates arousal.
Arousal but not slick. He’s an omega.
He’d wondered if Steve was a beta. If that was the reason there was no slick but now he suspects it’s just that he’s never been penetrated. He’s never had the gland under his prostate worked hard enough that he spills slick. It’s the male omega equivalent of a hymen and rough play is needed to stimulate the gland into working. Rupture the gland so he gets slick and wet. It ruptures easily. Masturbation can cause it and if an omega goes too long without an alpha it might just rupture on its own. Nature’s way of forcing an omega to mate. Alphas would know and pursue a slick omega, breed them up.
For a long time it was a defense against rape, evidence of sexual maturity. If a male omega produced slick but was younger than the age of consent then it was assumed they were promiscuous. They’d tempted the alpha into mating.
Bucky presses more kisses to the hot bud and Steve finally starts to react, whimpering and rolling into each touch. “Please,” he begs.
“Please what, good boy?”
“The other one,” he mumbles.
“Let’s see it,” he says, and pushes the shirt up a few inches to expose the other nipple. The contrast makes him groan. “Fuck, that’s so beautiful,” Bucky growls. Steve breaks out into goosebumps.
“Daddy, please,” he says, and then freezes.
“There you go. That’s what I wanted,” Bucky growls and moves to the side enough to undo Steve’s pants with one hand. Steve’s hand slides out of the way, but not before noticing that Steve’s knuckles were white with how hard he’d been gripping his cock. A steady clench. What does that mean? Did that feel good? Was Steve trying to feel good? Does Steve even know what he’s meant to be doing when he gets a hold of himself?
Bucky gets the zipper down, slips his hand inside to the hot heat of his boy’s pants. He’s sticky now. Sticky and soft and practically hairless there too. His skin is like silk. “God, you’re beautiful. Just perfect. What a good boy. How lucky I am. Do I get to be your daddy, sweetheart?”
“Bucky,” he whispers, eyes filling with tears again.
“Alphas do take care of their omegas,” Bucky says, playing gently with the nub of Steve’s cock. Steve’s eyes close in pleasure. “But not like a daddy takes care of his boy. That’s very serious. Isn’t it?”
Steve nods the barest amount.
“I take it seriously. Do you?”
“A daddy gives his boy everything. Daddy is there to wipe away his tears, to keep him safe and cuddle him close. He makes sure his boy is fed and healthy. He loves his boy more than he loves himself. A good daddy takes such good care of his baby that he’s content and trusting. Why do I think you always wanted a daddy?”
Steve tries to twist over, wanting to present. His face is red, his cheeks have splotches of pink on them and he looks ready to fall apart.
“No,” he orders, and sucks Steve’s nipple into his mouth, working it until it’s just as sore as the other one. Steve is docile again when he’s done. They match. He blows on one and then the other, Steve’s pupils blown wide as he shivers. “You always needed a daddy, didn’t you, sweetheart? Is that why you were locked down so tight? So perfect and the best little boy and you just had to keep yourself protected until I could get to you?”
He kisses his mouth and gives him a reassuring smile, tells him how pretty and good he is until Steve works up the courage to answer.
“Maybe… it’s hard to say,” Steve finally says.
“I think that’s it. That’s exactly it. You just say it when you can, sweetheart.”
“I’m scared, daddy,” he says, pulling Bucky closer, down onto him like he’s protection.
“Babydoll, it’s all hitting you at once. You’re in your new home and you don’t just have an alpha but a daddy. It’s a lot. It’s too much for a sweet boy like you. Poor thing. Let’s get you into bed. You can nurse on my cock and I’ll finger you til you’re settled. And then you can have a nap while I get you dinner.”
Bucky moves down, kissing the head of Steve’s soft, pink cock and breathing his boy in. “You smell so good, babydoll.”
Steve’s lower lip wobbles at the praise. His hands reach for Bucky. “Like what?”
“Fuck, I don’t even know. Think I better spend a lot of time down here between your pretty thighs until I get it figured out.”
Steve hauls him up for a kiss and then Bucky gets him to his feet and leads him to the bedroom.
And For Mits' playmating fic!!!! (I think we know which one is sexier alas).
Find Mits Story here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27408481/chapters/66990511
His daddy adjusts himself, an obvious squeeze of his cock while Steve watches. Steve smells good. His alpha, his daddy, likes how he smells. It makes his daddy hard and he might scent Steve all the time. Might want more.
Which means he doesn’t stink. Not anymore. Not for Bucky. Bucky pulls him up from the couch and Steve goes eagerly as Bucky leads him to the bedroom. He’s following his daddy. Steve has a daddy. He grins like an idiot. Bucky’s hand is warm and strong in his, his shoulders broad and he’s so tall and purposeful. Steve can’t think beyond the word daddy. He doesn’t want to. He’s going to say it all the time now. He wants a tattoo that says ‘daddy’s boy’ or ‘property of daddy.’ He wants to be a ‘good boy’ and all the things beautiful omegas got from their daddies, he now wants.
Steve is going to be obvious and obnoxious in his devotion. The sort of annoying omega who tries to make people jealous and show off their protector. Steve had hated those omegas when he was younger. He’d seethed with jealousy, been enraged at the unfairness of it all. In his neighborhood, where he grew up, a daddy was a way out. A real escape was finding a rich daddy to take care of you.
And Steve, the runt, with his sick scent and no one to want him. Who never fit in and was so poor, would see those smug omegas in their new warm coats with their pleased grins and plumpness in their cheeks from good eating and all he’d wanted was to beat the shit out of all of them. Because he was so jealous and bitter that he’d never have a daddy of his own that he couldn’t hardly see straight.
There weren’t a lot of jobs when he was growing up and the majority of them were manual labor which Steve couldn’t do. So one survived by finding a protector. An omega found an alpha and tried to hold onto them. That was the option. The only option. And Steve was out of the running from the very beginning.
Everything is different now.
This is his daddy and this is his home and it’s so terrifyingly good it doesn’t seem like it could possibly be real. How does he go from being an unwanted street rat to a science experiment and then wind up here?
Taken care of.
Bucky stands in the doorway, moves to the side and pulls Steve forward, as if he’s looking at a view and wants Steve to see.
He draws Steve back against his body and waits for it to register. His first view of their bedroom. “What do you think, good boy?” Bucky asks, and cups him in his hand. Shivery vertigo has Steve leaning back into his alpha. His daddy. It’s so god damned much. He thought the reality of it all had hit him, but it hadn’t. Maybe it is now.
He puts his hand over Bucky’s, covering his soft cock and his alpha nips his neck. He takes a breath in: his daddy and their home. His space. Their space. Steve has an odd tunnel vision and focus, can feel every inch of his body that’s pressed against his alpha. Warm and golden and safe. At this moment, Bucky doesn’t feel like a normal person, not like a James or even a Bucky. He’s everything while Steve feels small and soft and weak in comparison.
An alpha can be a savior or a threat.
But daddy? He’s everything. He’s alpha but with devotion and love. The idea of daddy is bigger and better than anyone. More beautiful, smarter and braver and Steve isn’t sure he could look him in the face right now even if his daddy ordered him to.
Steve’s swept away and small at the idea. Is this really his daddy? For good?
“You’re shaking,” daddy murmurs, and kisses his neck.
“Is it real? Daddy?”
His daddy chuckles. It echoes through Steve and he whimpers. “Yeah, babydoll. You’re home with your daddy now. Do you like your room? You’re going to be so good for me in that bed, aren’t you?”
Daddy is the person who knows what Steve needs and who will take care of him. Daddy is his and he belongs to daddy. Daddy is everything.
“Yes, daddy. I will.”
The bed frame is wood. Oak with a warm gray finish. Two dark metal bolts are discreetly on the side of the frame. Steve’s gaze wants to settle on them but he forces himself to look away, to stay calm as he takes in the rest of the king size bed. There’s a padded bench at the foot, the bedding is quilted linen and a royal blue, a washed velvet throw folded back neatly along the foot of the bed. The furniture is expensive and minimalist, matches the bed frame. It’s a room designed to make one want to be in bed, Steve thinks.
A bedroom for lazy weekends and contentment.
“We’ll change anything you don’t like, sweetheart.”
Steve can’t think of a single thing he’d want changed. “I love it, daddy,” he says, and Bucky sighs in relief, kisses Steve’s neck, his nose pressed against Steve’s claiming gland as he cups Steve’s breasts in his hands.
“These tits, sweetheart.”
It’s so good, the touch to his chest, the pinching of his nipples, the press of his daddy’s fingers and how he’s lifting the mass of each one gently, letting it rest on his palms. But he whimpers anyway. Can’t help it, needs his cock cupped and supported. Steve’s own hand is fisted, trying to resist doing it himself.
“What’s wrong?” Bucky asks, his touch rougher. “Needy little thing, tell me,” Bucky growls, aroused at Steve needing something. And isn’t that just what a daddy should do, wanting to make things better for Steve and help him with any problem?
“It feels good but… daddy my cocklet.” And then Steve freezes again. Goes cold and weird inside as the echo of his own voice, his needs ring in his ears. He’d been whiny. He’d called it his cocklet without thinking about it. It’s like he’s becoming someone else with every passing moment. Which is terrifying. Bucky was right. He’s not who he normally is when he’s with Bucky.
“Shh, you’re okay. We’re gonna get you secure.” His daddy cups Steve’s cock in his hand. “I can’t believe how much you love being held here, babydoll. You have no idea how happy that makes me,” he says, gruffly. “Daddy will get you locked up safe and sound. And then you’ll know you’re cared for all the time, won’t you?”
Steve nods. A whimper of agreement. He can’t help but be shy about it. Wishes he could tell Bucky that it makes him feel safe and cared for, like some worry inside him just disappears, literally there and then gone with a single protective touch. But the words are stuck in his chest, the perfection of it barely makes sense to him, it just feels right.
And maybe he wishes it wasn’t so obvious how much he likes it. It’s annoying that his body responds instinctively and gives away how much he loves it whether Steve is okay with it or not. It changes his scent, has his muscles relaxing, Bucky picking up on every subtle shift because he’s Steve’s daddy. He’s going to devote himself to Steve’s care and protection. To making him feel safe. When his big, strong hand holds him there, it feels so good Steve just surrenders.
“I like it too much,” he whispers, hips shifting forward minutely so he’s gripped even tighter.
“No, it’s adorable,” Bucky squeezes gently. “How well you fit in daddy’s hand. What’s it feel like? Your scent is softer.”
He’ll love Steve. And so he should tell his daddy and trust him. “Safety. Like…like a bunker in a firefight or a warm blanket in the winter.” Steve shouldn’t have said that. He should give different examples. Not things that can make the difference between life and death. “I don’t know, daddy. But, I think I need it.”
“Are you embarrassed?”
The silence is his answer.
“Of course you are. I’m not sure there’s ever been a more perfectly submissive omega. What a good boy you are, telling me. That’s so difficult, isn’t it, babydoll? Everything you do makes me want to mount you,” Bucky says, and grips him tighter.
Steve whimpers, worried he’ll collapse.
“Oh, please,” he says. His alpha urges him forward, weight shifting into Steve so he takes a step, has to keep his legs spread a few inches as Bucky’s hand slides back, rubbing into his perineum which makes him hot and shivery inside. Even weaker. “Daddy,” he pleads and grabs the bed frame, his gaze back down to the bolt on Bucky’s side. In case Steve needs to be tied up.
If he panics and wants to escape.
Or if he doesn’t do it right.
If he’s too much trouble and Bucky doesn’t want to deal with his hysterics.
Steve shivers in fear. Bucky inhales, his hold on Steve’s omeganess changes, back to supportive and cupping. “Tell daddy,” he orders.
“Nothing,” he says, because it’s not a good thing to say. He doesn’t want to put the idea into his daddy’s mind.
“Sweetheart. Be a good boy and tell me,” he says, and his daddy’s mouth opens on his neck, over his gland, teeth gently scraping over the skin, searching for the spot, the right place to bite down and claim him.
“I’m scared to be tied up. I keep looking at the bolt. I’ll be good, daddy.”
“Scared? Poor thing,” he murmurs, “Have you ever been tied up? I’d have thought you’d like the idea.”
Steve tries to go down to the bed, to present for his daddy, but Bucky stops him, his free hand snaking over Steve’s stomach and to his breast. He cups and squeezes to get Steve’s attention. It confuses him, keeps him upright. Bucky hasn’t told him no but Steve is certain he’s not supposed to present.
“I don’t want to be tied up, daddy.”
“Then you won’t be tied up. I’ll remove them tomorrow.”
“Daddy,” he practically sobs, grateful it’s that easy. “Present, daddy.”
The need to do it is overwhelming.
“Pretty boy, pull the covers back and sit down on the edge of the bed,” he orders. Steve leans forward, Bucky’s hands slipping off of him and he pulls down the comforter and sheet. His daddy’s scent is in the bed and he whimpers, starts to present again, hand straying to where he’s empty.
“Honey, be good now. Stay focussed.”And Bucky takes him by the shoulders, turns him, has him sit down. He’s dizzy. Bucky drops to his knees, takes off Steve’s shoes and socks. “Keep daddy’s shirt on for now,” he says, and Steve is relieved, tries to kiss Bucky. Bucky pushes him back and he collapses to the bed, stares at the ceiling as his pants and underwear are pulled off of him.
“Hold yourself,” Bucky orders and Steve’s hand is already there, holding his balls and cocklet as he gets his legs onto the bed and rolls into Bucky’s spot, buries his face there. His legs spread and he manages to present, distantly hears Bucky’s clothes hit the ground and then hot hands are on his side and up his back and Bucky is in the bed with him, moves to the middle and Steve abandons the pillow because his daddy’s scent calls to him, is warm if he moves and he finds his face in Bucky’s groin, his mouth opening and Bucky’s hard cock is suddenly in his mouth.
“There you go, fuck that’s just right. You better now, babydoll? Soft and gentle, sweetheart. You’re going to be there for awhile,” his alpha says.
Bucky’s cock twitches in his mouth, a hit of bitter come spills onto Steve’s tongue and he swallows it down and rests in his daddy’s lap. His tongue moves gently against the head but it’s all he can manage. He’s open and willing but weak in his limbs, almost tired now.
Bucky pets him gently for a moment and then there’s a sound, liquid and Bucky’s knuckles slide down his ass and over his cheek, hesitating near his hole. “Easy now, sweetheart. I’m going to touch your pretty bottom now,” he says, and Steve sucks harder on Bucky’s cock, his alpha grunting. He presses fingers to Steve’s tight rim, rubbing slick all around and against the tight furl of his hole.
Steve whimpers as hid daddy presses gently.
“Shh, you’ll give for daddy. Keep nursing my cock, babydoll. Fuck, what a pretty hole. Is this for me? Are you all mine?”
He sighs, nods gently and Bucky’s hips roll, cock sinking deeper into Steve’s mouth. His fingers are stroking, stimulating the area and Steve trembles and mewls, sensitive and needy. He turns his head to the side, gasping. “Daddy,” he begs.
“What is it, baby?”
“Empty,” he manages.
“I know. You’re getting puffy and soft with arousal. I can see you in the mirror, baby. Did you know that I can see you? I get to watch my fingers get swallowed up by your pretty little hole. Daddy gets to see the very heart of you.”
He gets Bucky’s cock back in his mouth, sucking in need. It’s so embarrassing. He’s so exposed. But, his daddy is happy. His alpha is getting what he wants and Steve is warm and safe. It’s good. Steve moans. Bucky’s finger crooks inside him.
“Hot and dainty just like a good omega should be. Isn’t that right?”
He sucks and tilts, needing more. Aching deep inside. Bucky’s finger comes out, there’s more slick and then two fingers ease ever so slowly inside him. “Pretty boy, do you know what happens after your first fingering?”
Steve goes still and quiet, scared to answer.
His daddy is patient. But Steve is frozen in fear again. “Honey, do you understand you’ll get wet? Do you feel me pressed against your hymen here, just under your prostate?” He rubs gently and Steve pulls off his daddy’s cock, burying his face in his balls, needing to be surrounded in his scent.
“Women have a little bit of skin that keeps their passage closed when they’re young. Boy omegas have a gland, a slick gland, and until it’s ruptured, a boy doesn’t get wet. I can feel yours, sweetheart. Right here, feel that?” He asks, and strokes over a hot, swollen place inside Steve.
“Daddy, ow,” he whispers, tears filling his eyes.
Bucky goes still. “Stevie? What do you mean ow?”
He isn’t sure. It isn’t that it hurts. “I’m scared.”
“Cup yourself, baby. Hold onto that pretty cock and see how you feel. I know it’s uncomfortable. I’ll press and rub and it should give easy, sweetheart. And then you’ll get all wet and I can claim you.”
“I want that,” he says, cupping himself. He wants that more than anything. Maybe the doctor was wrong all those years ago. Maybe the serum fixed it after all. Maybe everything is okay.
Steve is scared, burrows deeper into Bucky’s lap. His daddy is going to find out. His daddy won’t want him. Bucky’s fingers thrust in and out a little, slow and good. He passes over the area, over Steve’s gland where his hymen is, where he never developed like he was supposed to. Steve sobs.
“Let me hold you for a little,” Bucky says, and his fingers come free. Bucky knows. He can tell by the change in his scent, the abrupt tension.
“Should I go?” Steve asks, tremulously. “Maybe you don’t want to be my daddy.”
“No,” Bucky says, firmly. “Of course I want to be your daddy. You’re mine. The end.”
“I’m sorry,” he says. “I don’t think about it. Don’t let myself. I didn’t… I should have told you.”
“Don’t apologize, sweetheart. Relax and let me hold you for a while. Come on now. Don’t even worry about it. Don’t trouble yourself. You’re my good boy. It doesn’t matter, sweetheart.”
Steve moves upwards, into his daddy’s arms, desperately wanting to believe him. Steve presses into Bucky’s neck. He kisses and licks, sucks gently, soothing himself while Bucky gets him arranged over him, legs on either side of his, his body lowered. His soft cock spills as Bucky’s hot length nestles against him.
“Empty,” Steve sobs, and Bucky’s fingers go back, easing into him and staying deep while Steve spasms gently around them.
“You’re perfect, sweetheart. Absolutely perfect.”
Happy belated Birthday to Feiro! The reason there is rimming in my stories and a long time champion of my writing. He's a great guy and I'm so happy I've gotten to know him better during the hell of 2020.
Additionally, it is my own birthday. But I won't go into a lengthy comment about my own awesomeness. Just assume I am :)
He’d wondered if Steve had been physically or sexually abused. In the back of his mind, the worry had been there. Who hasn’t seen the picture of Steve Rogers before the serum? Tiny and pale, enraged and so ill that every day must have included some sort of pain. The odd way he’d talked about his gender, maybe he was null, maybe he’s an alpha, when all it takes is the barest scratching of the surface and Steve is clearly submissive and omega. So long as it’s the right person. And then the real him, almost completely submissive, spills out much too easily. He’d wondered, feared, that maybe something had happened when Steve was young and it had shut him down so hard that his gender was just inaccessible.
He doesn’t think they have to worry about that. Which is a relief. The fact that Steve feels empty, that he wants Bucky so much is proof that there isn’t trauma. His hole did get puffy and receptive just like it should. So, it was likely just self-protection, the incredible strength and stubbornness that’s inherent to Steve Rogers. And helped along by the anxiety his malformed gland caused him.
There is something wrong with his gland and that undoubtedly plays into just how tightly Steve was able to close himself off. Afraid of not being enough, knowing he’s got something wrong with that part of him in a time where there would have been so much stigma for an omega that couldn’t get slick enough to take an alpha.
The shape of it against Bucky’s fingers was odd and small. It wasn’t nearly swollen enough and there was discomfort for Steve when there should have been pleasure. The gland has to be a certain size to rupture and once it’s gone then that’s it, omegas are wet. They’ll likely find pleasure if that spot is rubbed against but it’s overshadowed by the pleasure felt when the prostate is stimulated.
Bucky doesn’t have all the pieces yet but he can see most of the picture. Steve knew he was an omega and that his gland was malformed. Bucky thinks his body did shut down but it was due to feeling rejected. It was self-preservation. And he’s so submissive it’s likely a good thing he did. When his body didn’t do anything, when he never felt lust or arousal he decided he was null. No one wants to be null. Better to be a beta. For Steve Rogers, being null was better than being an omega who couldn’t get wet for his alpha.
They’re currently in a lull. Steve is half asleep, snuffling into Bucky’s neck, overly warm and rather heavy. He’s tried to move Steve twice and both times his omega has fallen apart. If Bucky tries to take his fingers out of Steve’s ass, Steve falls apart. So here they are. It’s been about an hour.
Steve’s just too submissive. And he’s had the threat of being abandoned in his mind all day. Steve has known they were meant to be together and all he’s experienced from Bucky so far is rejection and the fear of rejection. And he’s worn out with it. All Steve can do is cling and wait to calm down. For the emotions to recede enough for him to be able to think and come back to Bucky.
He holds Steve tighter, works his fingers slowly in and out of Steve’s hole and tells him he’s a good boy. Steve sighs and shivers. He’s quiet and the bitterness is almost gone from his scent. His breathing is settling down, evening out. Not that hitched gasping that would devolve into sobbing.
He’s glad Steve is his. He’s thankful he’s the one who gets to take care of Steve, because it’s pretty fucking obvious that no one else would stand a chance. A regular alpha would have carried on, likely told him it always hurts the first time, would have expected his pre-come to be sufficient lubrication until the gland ruptured and his passage became soaked. And that never would have happened. The alpha would have ridden him, knotted him, hurt him and gone to sleep after.
And Steve would have been… this is an omega who wouldn’t have recovered. The thought of it is so awful he can barely think it and once he does the image is fixed in his mind. Steve hurt, Steve bred and abused. He kisses Steve, breathes him in. That isn’t real. That will never happen to Steve, it hasn’t happened to Steve. He’s got Bucky. He’s got the only alpha that can deal with this. One who isn’t biologically born. Steve’s got the one alpha who is trained in this and is the perfect match.
It’s as if his entire life has led him to Steve. Or maybe Steve’s decades in the ice allowed him to get to Bucky. The one person he’s compatible with and who can see him through this mating and keep him physically and mentally safe.
Steve is a very good and obedient omega but he’s so submissive that his body’s failure to get slick is something he’ll beat himself up over. It isn’t something a submissive omega can easily get past. Steve likely feels like he’s broken and not good enough. He’s going to have a grieving process. He’ll need lots of support and comfort as he works through it.
Mounting an omega with a malformed gland is fraught with peril. It’s a bad idea to even try. They’ll need to go to the doctor. The gland might need to be removed if they can’t get it ruptured with medical assistance. If it can be ruptured then Steve will get a little slick. It’s the best case scenario.
Bucky’s stomach growls. Steve’s has already growled twice. He grabs his phone from the nightstand and orders food to be delivered with instructions to have it left outside if no one answers the door. He’s waiting for Steve to come back to him. All he can do is wait and plan. Steve is safe and home and cared for. He’s being held. They won’t be going to work tomorrow. He’ll be taking Steve to McLeod’s and the doctor. There are things a submissive omega needs to manage their anxiety. A cage, a pillow, a collar, a plug and likely restraints of some kind. Steve’s needs have to be met, have to be managed. He can’t treat Steve like a normal omega. Hell, he can’t even treat him like a normal submissive omega. Bucky is going to treat Steve like a highly traumatized omega and work backwards. It isn’t an exact science. It’s almost like parenting. One chooses a way of doing things that makes sense and hopes that their child turns out.
Traumatized omegas do not thrive with stern alphas. He’ll need to be very careful with the word no. Careful not to raise his voice or be out of sight or touching distance while they’re in this limbo of Steve not being mounted and claimed. Bucky will need to exude confidence, dominance, lust and devotion at all times. He’ll micromanage Steve to the nth degree and see what can be relaxed. Better to be oppressive and have Steve feeling safe and cherished than letting him go into an emotional spiral because he decides his alpha doesn’t want him or he isn’t good enough. Steve goes to that place terrifying fast as it is but to not be claimed and mounted will exacerbate it. The gland will exacerbate it.
Steve has to be in no doubt that he is where he belongs, doing what he should do and that his alpha is content with him. His daddy loves him.
It’s another twenty minutes before Steve speaks.
“Daddy?” He sounds very small and unlike himself.
“There’s my sweetheart. Did you have a good rest, baby?”
“About what?” Bucky asks, because he can’t make any assumptions. Submissive omegas can have very strange thought patterns sometimes.
“You don’t need to be sorry. It’s a common problem with an easy solution. We’ll go to the doctor tomorrow and see what the options are. I expect they’ll be able to get the gland ruptured. We’d need slick anyway, Steve. I don’t leak as much as a biological alpha. I have it in the drawer. I use slick and we would need it. This isn’t a problem, I promise. Do you understand what I’m telling you?”
There’s a long beat of quiet while Bucky waits to see if Steve is understanding him or not.
“I don’t know,” he whispers.
“Repeat it back to me. I know it’s hard, baby,” he says, and takes his fingers out of Steve’s hole, rubs gently at the rim. “You’re so soft and warm, baby. Does it feel good?”
“Then tell me. What did daddy just tell you?” He slips his fingers back inside and Steve’s hips twitch back, wanting him deeper.
“We’ll go to the doctor. We need slick because I can’t get wet.”
“No,” Bucky says, softly. He kisses Steve for a long moment, tongue sweeping into his mouth, trying to reassure him after using that word. But this is important. Steve clutches at him. “Let’s try again. Listen. We’ll go to the doctor to get a solution to an easy and common problem. You will likely get slick for me. We need slick anyway. For me. Even if you were very wet and messy we’d still need slick. Tell me. We don’t move on until I know you understand.”
“It’s okay and we’d use slick anyway,” he murmurs, tucking his face back into Bucky’s neck.
“Exactly. Good boy. How clever you are,” he says, fingers going deep, hooking firmly inside Steve. There’s a gush of wetness on his stomach as Steve releases. Steve whimpers. Bucky closes his eyes, can feel the faintest contractions against his own aching erection. He takes in a deep breath, releasing it slowly, the scent of his boy, his lust and now his come driving him half-mad. Bucky is a saint. A god damned saint, he thinks, as Steve’s hole squeezes and flutters against his fingers.
“Did that feel good?” He finally asks.
“I just wish you were inside me,” he whispers.
“I know, sweetheart. Soon.”
“I didn’t mean to, daddy.”
“That’s okay. You needed it, sweetheart. You’re an omega with a sensitive hole. If you weren’t so emotional it would have happened sooner.”
“I don’t deserve it,” he says.
“Steve, it isn’t about deserve… do you feel like you need to earn it?”
“I lied to you, daddy.”
Bucky makes a mental note to come back to that another time. Maybe keep an eye out for how Steve feels after releasing. But the bitterness back in Steve’s scent makes it clear that whatever the lie was, it’s a big deal to Steve. “About what?”
“I went to a clinic after the playmating experience was so bad. Before the serum. They checked and they told me I was an omega but damaged and infertile. I was so damaged I might never present or go into heat. And I just… that was fine. I didn’t think about it again. I know you don’t want that. No alpha wants to be stuck with a defective omega.”
“Steve. I’m not an alpha. I don’t have a knot. One could say I am a defective alpha if they wanted to. Don’t argue. Listen now,” he orders, because Steve is clearly getting ready to argue. “It doesn’t matter what other people think, it only matters what we think. We’re the ones in this relationship. You’re my omega and I am happy with you. This changes nothing. Do you think I’m less of an alpha because I don’t have a knot?”
“No. But, you expect—”
“I don’t expect anything. You’re not listening. I’m telling you it isn’t a problem. We’d need slick anyway. It literally changes nothing.”
“But you should have an omega that can—“ he sobs.
“Don’t tell me what I should have. That is not your place. Who are you?”
“Daddy,” Steve sobs and sucks on Bucky’s neck.
“I don’t want to take my fingers out, sweetheart. You feel so good inside but I will. Who are you in this relationship? My good boy and what else?”
“I’m your omega, daddy.”
“What does that mean? Who knows what matters?”
“You do, but daddy— what if I can’t have children?” He whispers, sniffling.
“I don’t know. Do you want children?”
“I think so.”
“Then we’ll find out if this is an impediment. It’s common for male omegas to have gland issues, Steve. And it doesn’t usually have anything to do with whether or not they can conceive. Medicine has come a long way since you got that diagnosis and you’ve had the serum. We’ll make an appointment so you know for sure.”
Steve presses his nose back to Bucky’s skin. “This really doesn’t bother you?”
“No. It really, really doesn’t. If anything… I hope I don’t say this wrong, but it feels like more evidence that we’re right for each other. You couldn’t deal with a biological alpha, Steve. And, it’s not unknown for very submissive omegas to shut down so completely from their gender that they present as null because it’s a way to protect themselves. If I have doubts about not being enough for you or worry about what people might say or if you deserve better…. It’s a mental spiral I’ve had before. It’s affected relationships when I was younger and less certain of who I am, but I know that what I can bring to this relationship is exactly what you need, and that’s a relief in a really weird way. Maybe you need to think of it that way, too. That I couldn’t have this with anyone else who isn’t you. That if you weren’t as you are I wouldn’t have my perfect omega. Maybe you don’t have to be confident in who you are but in who you get to be with me and how happy that makes me? If that makes sense. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in an omega.”
More tears slide down Steve’s cheeks. “It makes sense,” he murmurs, and Steve presses closer to him, wiggling a little and then sighing as his ass tries to milk Bucky’s fingers. “Daddy, need you to come,” he says, and kisses Bucky’s jaw.
“Yeah? Are you ready for it now, babydoll? Do you want to know what daddy wants? What I’m going to expect of you?”
“Oh, yes please,” he says, clenching inside again. His hips move, wanting Bucky’s fingers deeper. He knows Steve needs this. That he won’t feel content until Bucky gets him all marked up and he feels like he belongs.
“Tomorrow I’m going to take you shopping, sweetheart. You are my special boy and I want you to have certain things before I breed you up.”
“Hush. It isn’t about you. Submissive omegas can have difficulty with mating no matter what. We’ve got to get it right. You need to trust daddy. Understand?”
Steve meets his gaze, finally lifting up enough to look down at him. He’s a wreck. His face is blotchy from crying and his eyes are puffy, his lips are swollen from sucking marks into Bucky’s skin. Bucky cups his face in his hands. Steve whimpers and looks down, submitting. “You’re beautiful. So fucking pretty, sweetheart. Let’s get you some come. Face down into the bed now,” he orders, and Steve moves off of him with a whimper, lays down, face into the pillow.
He’s obedient and the rush of lust Bucky feels, the desire to just get Steve opened up and on his cock, almost certain it would be fine, pulses through him. He won’t because he won’t take any chances with Steve’s mental health. A little bit of time, a little bit of planning and restraint on Bucky’s part will make it so much better for his delicate omega.
“Beautiful. So gorgeous and sweet. Obeying daddy like a good boy,” he says, and kisses his shoulder blade. Steve drags in a breath. Bucky bites into the meat of his shoulder and holds it until Steve whimpers and exhales. “Good boy, do that again. You know what to do,” he says, and moves down. Another kiss and Steve dragging in a noisy breath as Bucky bites and holds, deep enough that Steve doesn’t dare fight him. Deep enough for there to be a bruise. He kisses over the purpling marks of his teeth and Steve grinds into the bed. “Hold your cocklet, baby. That’s yours.”
“Daddy it feels so good,” he says, his arm muscles bunching and releasing as he plays with himself. Bucky bites him again and again, until his back is marked up one side and then down the other. He kisses Steve’s ass cheeks and Steve goes very still.
“Thighs tight so daddy can soak you there,” he says.
Steve nods and Bucky gets his cock slicked up, fits himself to the soft, tight space at the top of his thighs and lays on top of his boy. He thrusts slow and easy, bites at Steve’s neck, feels the wetness grow as he leaks between Steve’s thighs.
Steve whimpers and his hand is jiggling his own cock, trapped against the bed. “Daddy, wet.”
“I know, baby. You’ve got me leaking everywhere. Daddy wants you, doesn’t he?”
“What if I get wet? Daddy I don’t want to get wet. Only you.”
“Then you stop moving your hand, honey.”
“Daddy I need a cage. I need to be secure.”
Bucky grunts, the pleasure building. “Fuck you’ll be so god damned beautiful in a cage. I’m going to take you out, sweetheart. Open your pants and look at you, pet you.”
“Over,” Bucky snarls, and moves back, straddles him while Steve gets over. “Tits,” he orders and Steve grabs his chest, squeezing, watching transfixed as Bucky gets ready to come. “You want daddy to make you wet?”
“Yes, please,” he says, and Bucky comes. Steve’s so sweet and needy, staring up at him with wide eyes. He comes hard, has been so desperate and aching that it hurts and is more copious than he expected. Steve’s groin is very dark with arousal, his cocklet soft and small. He flinches when the first stripe of come splashes across his cocklet and then presses up to meet each spurt, watches avidly as it lands on his skin and his cock, even his balls.
“Lucky boy, that’s a lot. Look at daddy,” he orders. Steve looks at him, can’t help smiling. “Is that a good wet?”
“Yes, daddy. I needed it,” he says, seriously.
“What happens now?” Bucky asks, stripping the last drops from his cock. Steve’s leg falls to the side, limp and spent, as if he’s the one who just came. The thought pings the back of Bucky’s mind and he tries to cling onto it, the possibility that Steve’s so submissive his pleasure is wholly tied into Bucky’s. It’s something to think about.
“I have to rub it in, daddy,” Steve murmurs, his hand already straying down the flat plane of his stomach, gaze fixed on the mess of come. Steve licks his lips, his fingers slide through a stripe under his belly button. His fingers lift, the tips glossy. He looks at Bucky for permission.
“You seem like you have it worked out, doll.”
Steve blushes, puts the fingers in his mouth and sucks them clean. “Do I always get a taste?” Steve asks.
“Good boys always do,” Bucky says, relieved Steve seems better now. Certain and calm as he lets his figners slip back into the come. “I’ll rub it in and then….” He’s distracted, legs spread, intently watching himself as he smears Bucky’s come into his balls. It’s sexy as hell. Beautiful. Steve sighs in pleasure, his eyes closing.
“Pretty omega. And then what?”
He blinks and smiles softly at Bucky. “Then I rest and you’ll come get me when it’s dinner time.”
Thank fuck, Bucky thinks, pleased Steve’s instincts have kicked in. “That’s right my perfect angel. You were so good, weren’t you?”
Steve rubs it in, has another taste, the sight so pretty Bucky needs to come again. Steve blushes when Bucky starts stroking, gets over him and aims for his omega. He plays with Steve’s breast, pinching up the nipple, Steve writhing under him. “Chest, too? Daddy?”
“That’s right. God damn, you’re so good, babydoll,” he agrees, and comes. Steve laughs he’s so happy, presses more into his mouth and smears it over himself, filthy with it.
“Do you want to make a mess, too?” Bucky asks, touching the area near Steve’s cock. Tacky with come. He touches Steve’s balls. They’re really warm and all of him is a little swollen but he isn’t hard. He peers down, between his cheeks, moving Steve’s leg so he can see. He’s flushed all over with arousal, his hole swollen and a little open from Bucky’s fingering. Steve will likely look very sore after Bucky fucks him. He’s just so fair.
“You’re wanting, sweetheart.”
“I’d like to stay this way, daddy. For awhile.”
“Do you ache?”
“Yeah, but it’s nice. I want to feel you. Think of your pleasure. I caused that. And I already… once.”
“You did cause that. You took such good care of me, got me so hard I had to come twice.” Bucky gets out of the bed, pulling the covers up over Steve. His omega reeks of come and contentment as he burrows into Bucky’s pillow. “You’re mine, sweetheart. And you’re perfect,” he says, gives Steve a kiss and lets his omega rest in his nest.
His baby wakes up sobbing, comes out of the bedroom and makes a beeline for Bucky. He’s naked. Bucky turns him back around and takes him back to the bedroom, has him sit down and hands him his pillow to hold onto while he stares blankly into space.
“You’re good, sweetheart,” he says, and kisses the top of his head.
Steve sighs heavily, collapses forward so he’s pressed into Bucky.
“Let me get you something to wear,” he says.
Steve nods. Bucky can feel him watching him the entire time. Like he’s half expecting Bucky to disappear. He dresses him in his boxer briefs, a pair that’s too small and which he should have gotten rid of but sort of kept for emergency purposes. He’d been thinking laundry crisis not omega in distress but here they are. He gets Steve into his underwear and into his robe and tries to figure out if that’s going to be enough.
“What are you thinking?” Bucky can’t stop touching his face, needing Steve to see him, really fixate on him and connect with where he is and why. Bucky knows it won’t always be like this, that this is just a weird mix of hormones and submissive patterns shoving to the surface, ramped up and exacerbated by years of repression and likely the serum magnifying his more submissive traits, but god damn it’s debilitating for Steve. If a threat came in right now they’d both be dead.
It’s horrible and emotional and Steve is gone, sunk inside himself and regressed into his primal omega self. Submissive self. He clutches onto Bucky.
“Why would you keep me, daddy?” Steve finally asks, lower lip trembling.
“Because you’re mine now. All mine.” He knows the words aren’t really going in. Steve reeks of anxiety. He’s been covered in Bucky’s scent, and come, he’s dressed in his alpha’s things and it still isn’t enough. Bucky goes to his closet. Steve said he didn’t like the bolts, didn’t want to be tied up but that’s the answer for this. It’s primal.
Instinct. Bucky should try.
He pulls down the leather collar he bought for his omega. Just one of those things he’d hoped that one day he’d use. It’s still wrapped. A large pale blue silk bow. He takes it to the bed. Steve blinks at it.
“I bought this for my omega. I’ve had it for two years, sweetheart. Do you understand? I bought it hoping to find the person who’d wear it and now I have. Daddy has been waiting for you. Of course I won’t let you go. Open the box, baby.”
Steve pulls the ribbon free, sniffling quietly. He’s chewing on his bottom lip absently and a tear drop falls onto the box. He lifts the lid off and glances at Bucky. “It’s very expensive, daddy.”
“Yes, it was. My omega deserves the best.”
Steve carefully plucks the Bottega Veneta sticker and then parts the tissue paper. The collar is brown leather and woven. Bucky is expecting enthusiasm, is already reaching for it to help him put it on. Steve isn’t saying anything, his scent isn’t changing. Bucky waits, glances up at Steve, taking stock of how his lips are in a hard line. That he’s holding his breath, his shoulders hiking inwards. Steve blinks. “It’s beautiful, daddy.”
“Do you want to touch it?”
Steve’s hand hovers over the collar. It’s steady but Steve’s anxiety is rising. Bucky backtracks, wonders if maybe the collar isn’t a good thing for some reason.
“I bought this for myself, really. Like a placeholder. A promise that I’d have someone to put it on someday. But, it wasn’t with you in mind. It was a few years ago and before I knew what I wanted,” he says.
“What do you want?” Steve asks. His voice is hollow.
Bucky picks up the collar, Steve’s hand dropping and then going to his neck. Protective. Will he stop Bucky from putting it on? Bucky can’t even guess what the objection is. “To me, a collar represents commitment and a visible sign of devotion. Maybe that’s different than what it used to mean?” He asks, hoping to depersonalize it so Steve will answer.
Steve touches the collar with two fingers and drops his hand again. “No, that’s what it meant then too.”
Bucky waits but Steve doesn’t give him anything else to work with. “You know I just want to give you what you want.”
Steve tilts his head, leaning forward a little to offer his neck so Bucky can put the collar on.
“I said I wanted to give you what you want. You don’t want this and I don’t understand why. I really don’t mind, Steve. I don’t care about the collar at all. Only you. Keeping you content. You have to tell daddy. You don’t keep secrets from daddy, do you?”
Steve’s brows pull together. “No, I don’t keep secrets from daddy.” Steve swallows, is still thinking. He responds faster when it’s instinctive, Bucky decides. But rational thought is hard. It takes Steve a little while. He wonders if Steve’s head is filled with chaos and he can’t stay focussed or if it’s empty and he’s having trouble being present. “It was expensive.”
“Money isn’t something you need to worry your pretty little head about,” he says, and gets to his feet. He puts the collar back in the box and takes it to the closet, putting it on a high shelf. Out of sight and out of mind or something. He’ll get rid of it. “We’ll buy you something tomorrow at McLeod’s,” he promises, taking Steve’s face in his hands. “It will be just right for my perfect boy. You’ll help daddy choose it, won’t you?”
Steve closes his eyes. His hands wrap around Bucky’s wrists, tugging them down, chin lifting as Bucky’s hands circle his throat. Steve sighs in relief. His anxiety plummets. “Get daddy’s underwear off,” he orders, and Steve obeys with clumsy hands, shoving it down Bucky’s hips. He focuses on Bucky’s cock. Half hard. “Strip and get on the ground, babydoll,” he orders, and sits on the bed. He touches his cock, stroking himself to hardness almost absently. Steve watches with so much hunger Bucky groans and grips tighter.
“You need daddy’s cock, don’t you, good boy? Pretty little omega. Can’t bear to be without daddy in you. Here I am trying to put you in a robe and that’s not good enough for my baby, is it?” Steve moves to the ground, between Bucky’s thighs and Bucky closes his legs around Steve’s head. Steve’s mouth opens, wanting Bucky’s cock but Bucky presses his face into his groin instead. Lips almost on Bucky’s balls, the hot length of his erection on Steve’s face. “Here you go. Daddy will do better.”
The surrender and relief is instantaneous. For a moment he’s afraid Steve has passed out. Just gone straight past subspace and omega surrender and into unconsciousness. But, Steve moves, his hand on his own cock as he cups himself.
“Fingers inside, sweetheart. Two. Do you need slick?”
Steve offers his fingers and Bucky sucks them into his mouth, gets them wet and sloppy while Steve sighs happily. He lets Steve go and Steve shuffles around on the ground, pressing two fingers inside himself while Bucky tries to watch him in the mirror. His poor bottom is so swollen with arousal. The fingers sink deep into Steve’s channel and he can see the pulsing of Steve’s hole, clenching all around the fingers.
“Daddy,” he pleads, warm breath on Bucky’s cock.
Bucky’s phone dings with the arrival of food. Steve is hungry but his emotional state is more important and emotionally he’s a fucking wreck. “Have you ever been swaddled?”
“I want to stay here,” he finally says.
“We need food. The food is here. We’ll eat and then we’ll go to bed. You’ve had too emotional of a day to not eat.”
“How do I… you have to move me then. I can’t do it, daddy.”
“That’s why you need to be swaddled. It will make everything foggy, sweetheart. Foggy and good. If it doesn’t feel nice and relaxing then you tell me and we get you out of it.”
He runs a hand through Steve’s hair. “You like this so much I’m pretty sure you’ll love it.”
“What do I do?”
“Stay there. Don’t move until I come back. I’m going to count. I’ll be back before the count of ten. I won’t leave the room. You stay cupped and plugged.”
“Yes, daddy,” he says, breath hitching.
“You’re good. You’re fine. How beautiful you are. I love you between my legs and on your knees. At my feet. That’s where good boys belong, isn’t it?”
“Yes, daddy,” he says. Bucky moves, shifting Steve forward so his forehead is on the bed. He picks up his underwear, lifts Steve’s head with a hand in his hair, puts it on the bed and presses Steve back down, nose buried in his underwear. Steve sighs happily. Steve counts quietly, as if even that’s difficult.
Bucky goes to his closet, pulls out his box of toys and tries to figure out how the fuck he’s going to make this work. He’s got lengths of silk. He’s got a restraint harness but it’s leather and it doesn’t feel right for Steve. It also isn’t new. And even though it’s cleaned and oiled and he keeps his leather things in good shape, the idea of something being used on Steve that has been used with someone else doesn’t sit right. Steve is so sensitive and emotional he wonders if it might cause Steve distress.
Unopened silk ties and a set of ben wa balls will have to do. Bucky takes them to the bed. Steve is fairly relaxed, face buried in Bucky’s underwear, his breathing deep and even. His back is littered with bruised bite marks. Bucky can’t help but touch them. “So fucking pretty. You should always have daddy’s love bites on you.”
He lowers himself, presses kisses to the most bruised areas and Steve makes a pleased sound. Soft and artless, lax and receptive for whatever Bucky wants to do to him. “You’re so good for daddy. This is all you want, isn’t it, sweetheart? Just to be loved on and wrapped up and taken care of. You want to be treated like daddy’s little princess, don’t you?”
A shudder goes through Steve. Bucky pulls Steve’s hand off his cock, puts it on the bed. Steve whines. “Pretty princess can’t keep her hands off, is that it?”
Steve is silent but his breathing is harsh and he’s shivering. Bucky kisses his ear, cups Steve’s cock and balls in his own hand and Steve thrusts forward as best he can. Bucky lightens his touch and Steve whimpers desperately. “Princess. You like that one, sweetheart?” Bucky presses close, cups him and holds him and it’s enough that Steve releases.
“I’m sorry, daddy.”
Bucky chuckles. “I guess we found something you like. I’m glad. And it’s better to release now before we get you put away.”
“Was it a big mess, daddy?”
“No, just a little one. You’ve released so much there’s not much left in those cute little balls. Clean daddy’s hand, baby,” he orders, and puts his hand near Steve’s face. Steve licks him clean, the back of his neck turning red with embarrassment. “I think you taste sweet. What do you think?”
“Like an omega?”
“Like a very beautiful omega,” he growls, and kisses Steve’s jaw, nips him so he turns his head and Bucky can kiss him, shoving his tongue into Steve’s mouth to taste his omega. He pulls Steve’s hand from his hole, shoving those two fingers between them so they can both kiss and lick his fingers clean. Bucky gives in to the lust just a little, sucking on Steve’s fingers, nipping at him and pressing close, shoving Steve against the side of the mattress.
“Fuck. Next time we do this I’ll slide into you, sweetheart. I’ll fill you up with come. I’ll breed you on the ground, next to our bed. Won’t be able to help myself. Daddy needs you, baby. I’m gonna breed you, I’m so fucking hard for you, baby doll. It’s going to drive me mad. Waiting for you when I need you so much.”
“Daddy, please!” Steve begs, and tries to wiggle back. Bucky’s cock is at Steve’s hole and Steve is burning there. He’s a god damned furnace. He’s dry and swollen and he should be dripping. He should reek of lust and slick.
Bucky grabs the lube, panting into Steve’s neck as he coats his cock, presses a glob to Steve’s hole. “Just a little, sweetheart. Not too much. You have to stay still. You have to be good for me. My very best Stevie.”
“Yes, daddy,” he whispers. Every muscle is straining as Steve holds himself still.
“Fuck,” Bucky growls and presses the tip inside. “You’re loose, baby. Daddy can get inside. Poor little thing. You’re so swollen. You need daddy’s cock so bad, don’t you? Stevie. Can you hear me?”
“Listen now. You’re perfect inside.”
“I’m not wet.”
“Yes, you are. You’re wet and you’re swallowing daddy up in that hungry hole just like my needy omega should. Honey, you’re so hot. Daddy has never felt anything so good.” He moans and shuffles closer, presses deeper, slow and careful. He has to stop before the gland. The head of his cock is in and Steve is shaking with the effort to stay still.
“There you go. Don’t move. You just let daddy. Baby you’ve got it.” Bucky grips the shaft tight, keeps a ring so he doesn’t fuck deeper even though he needs to. Even though Steve is mewling with how much he wants it. His movements are careful. Very precise and contained. Steve is tight and so swollen, so sensitive and this is already a lot for him. He’s shaking under Bucky. Bucky turns his head, licks at Steve’s sweat damp skin and bites hard over his claiming gland. He can feel it, the urge to bite him and claim him is intense.
Bucky pulls all the way out, starts to press back inside, freezes at Steve’s desperate cry.
“Don’t! Daddy don’t go. Don’t, please don’t,” he sobs.
Sanity returns. Bucky can feel everything now, not just his cock and his urgent need to come and claim. Steve is suddenly back in focus. “Please. Daddy I need it.”
“If I claim you now it’ll hurt because of your gland.”
“I don’t care. I need to be yours.”
Bucky cups Steve’s tits in his hands, thumbs over the nipples. They’re still sore. Swollen. And his ass is clutching at Bucky, wanting him deeper.
He weighs Steve’s tits in his hands and Steve goes limp in surrender. “I’ve been worried about you not feeling content as an omega. It wouldn’t be pleasurable because of your gland. And if we wait we can get it fixed. Honey, that might be as soon as tomorrow.”
“Is it my choice, daddy?”
Which is a hell of a question. Should he let it be Steve’s choice? If it’s Steve’s choice doesn’t he already know the answer? “I think there is a cost to waiting, too. The emotional strain on you and which I hadn’t taken into account. I was only thinking about making it good for you as an omega. Maybe what you need as a submissive is something different. If I claim you, you’ll know you’re home. You’ll know you’re safe with daddy. If that’s what you need, daddy will claim you now.”
“I just need to be yours. I’m strong, daddy. I’m a super soldier.”
Bucky’s mouth waters and his cock throbs. He latches on tight, bites down on Steve’s gland, claiming him with a feral growl and thrusts deeper and deeper into his channel. He knows when he hits the gland because Steve swallows back a cry. His body clenches down ruthlessly, wanting Bucky out. He squeezes Steve’s nipples hard, pinching again and again, opens his mouth and bites, Steve instinctively going lax in surrender. There’s blood in his mouth and he knows he should let go, let up and lick at the wound. Gentle.
Bucky gets seated, ruts into him with a steady growl and comes deep inside his omega. And then he lets go of Steve’s neck, watches the blood slip down the column of his neck. He laps at it and Steve’s hands fist into the bedding. “Daddy, I’m hard. Could… could I come, daddy?”
He can’t let Steve reach for it. As much as he wants to indulge his boy, it just isn’t done. Steve must know that. He kisses the wound and folds Steve’s arms against his body, holding him securely. Using his own body and strength to swaddle him. And keep him from touching his hard cocklet.“Have you ever been hard, honey?”
“I… a little.”
“Have you ever come that way?”
“Why are you hard, baby?”
“Cause I got claimed.”
“That’s right. It’s a sign of how well we fit together. It’s special when that happens. But it’s not for omegas, is it?”
“It aches. The tip hurts.”
“I know. What a strange sensation for you.” He says, sympathetically.
Bucky’s cock is softening. He loosens his hold enough to get the ben wa balls, pulls his cock out and presses one inside Steve, having to time it against the spasming of his hole. His body clutches it tightly, sucking it in. The next one goes easy but he doesn’t want to risk a third, unclips it and presses the string flat against his perineum. He gets the ties next, Steve’s cock and balls secured in a small package, careful with his tiny erection, another around his waist and then one between his legs so there’s silk against his hole and between his cheeks. It’s all tied together. He puts Steve’s hands all over his body, so he feels the restriction. How gentle it is.
“Daddy. My cocklet.”
“I know, honey. It will go down, sweetheart. That’s not meant for a little omega like you. If it goes on for too long we’ll put an ice pack on it.
“Daddy, my neck,” he whispers. His neck is bleeding sluggishly.
“It should scar, my little angel. It’s gonna be visible. Everyone will know you have a daddy. You belong to someone.”
Steve’s eyes close, struggling to open. Steve’s scent has gone sweet. No one would mistake him for an alpha now. He’s too far down in submission, his body reacting to Bucky’s hormones deep inside his ass and the bursting of his claiming gland. Bucky puts a pillow down, helps him collapse to the ground. Steve is so boneless and heavy he can’t even get him onto the bed. It’s ridiculous. He puts blankets over him, gets him snug and tucked up.
Now his omega will sleep through the night.
Thank you for the birthday well wishes! it was pretty chill as one might imagine. Next chapter has to be the gd store. happy early thanksgiving to anyone doing that sort of thing :) This story seems to be hitting that point of comment reduction and 40k. maybe we've had enough of gentle pampered Steve? I think this chapter is the most difficult it will be for Steve. claiming is different you know? no more blood or anything if you were concerned.
When Steve wakes up the next morning, Bucky is in bed with him and holding him tight. His hand is on Steve’s stomach but as soon as Steve shifts he presses closer, kisses Steve’s neck. He kisses until his lips press directly onto Steve’s mating bite which is sore. “After you eat and have a shower, I’ll need to bite you again.”
“I know, sweetheart. Daddy knows,” he says, and presses closer. “I’ll be as careful as I can. We’ll make sure you’re very aroused and feel safe. And when it’s over, you’ll be happy.”
“Everyone will know I’m yours.”
“That’s right,” he says, with enough of a growl that Steve can’t help but push back against him, his own hand straying towards his cock, wanting to hold himself.
“I want that.” Steve wants it more than anything. And yet, he’s afraid. The fear is coursing through him and he isn’t sure what to do with it. Why it’s happening. “Daddy, I’m scared.”
“I know. It’s normal to not want the next bite. That’s biology. Once the gland is completely broken up then you’ll belong to me. Submissive omegas have a natural aversion to Reinforcement Bites. Anxiety and fear is normal. You just need to remind yourself that feeling dread about another bite doesn’t make you a bad omega. And it doesn’t mean you’re not submissive enough. No submissive omega wants the next bite. Not even perfect boys who just want to be good for daddy. Submission does have some limits.”
“I won’t stop you,” Steve says.
“I know you won’t. I’ll be very proud of you, won’t I?”
“Yes, daddy,” he says, and Bucky puts his hand over Steve’s so they’re both holding his cocklet. It helps. “Will I get my cage today?”
“Yes, sweetheart. You need it so much we shouldn’t dare wait.” He loves Bucky taking care of him, deciding what Steve needs to be happy and making it happen. He gives himself a squeeze which Bucky notices, his thumb brushing over Steve’s fingers as he relaxes. “You’re a good boy, touching yourself like that. Daddy likes it,” he says, and Steve shivers. “I’m glad you’re excited about your cage.”
“I want you to like it.”
“I will. It’s going to be just right. I’m going to love looking at you all safe and secure. Lay you out and kiss and play with you, make sure you’re snug. Take care of my good boy. But, we’re not quite done talking about the bite. Once it’s over, once daddy has the gland completely gone, then how will you feel? Do you know?”
“Good?” That’s what he’s heard. That’s why it’s scary. A submissive omega with a mean alpha, a horrible alpha, will still go weak and needy once they’re bonded. All an alpha has to do is get their mouth on that spot and the omega wants to be bred.
“That’s right. Whenever you get scared you can come sit on my lap, come get a hug and I’ll kiss you and suck on you there, give you a little nip or two and you’ll feel so calm. That’s why an omega protects it. Because an alpha will have so much control over them, won’t they?”
He nods. “I trust you. I want it. I don’t like that I’m scared. It doesn’t… I know what I want and I know how I feel and they don’t match.” He wants the bite more than anything. Wants to belong to Bucky but the idea of offering his neck right now makes him want to run away. It’s horrible being so conflicted. “I want it out of the way, daddy.”
“It always happens after a good breeding, sweetheart. You’ll get it soon.”
Steve whimpers, grips himself tight, trying to pull up and down on his cocklet. Bucky’s hand stops him, encourages him to be still. Steve isn’t settled, doesn’t feel right down there. It’s uncomfortable and he suddenly thinks of those omegas at the playmating and how they had slick soaked pants and were desperate and slutty. They were so gross. What if he feels like that?
It’s such an awful idea. Tears fill his eyes and he’s glad his daddy can’t see him. He’s so empty. He needs his daddy. Just like those slutty omegas were needful. He isn’t one of those. Bucky is hard behind him. He shouldn’t let his daddy be wanting. If his daddy needs to come then he should use Steve.
“Daddy… maybe you don’t want it, but if you do… I want you to feel good.”
“Pretty baby,”he murmurs in Steve’s ear, lifting Steve’s hand away and replacing it with his own. Stronger, better feeling as he surrounds Steve and presses firmly.
“Daddy!” He bites his lip so he doesn’t beg. He doesn’t even know for what. He covers his face with his hands, tries to turn into the pillow but what if Bucky thinks Steve doesn’t want him?
“Oh, princess. Are you swollen in your bottom?” Bucky rolls away from him, gets into the drawer and comes back with lube. Steve waits. It isn’t for him, it’s for daddy. To give his alpha what he needs. Steve isn’t some needy slut. Bucky unties one corner of his swaddling and Steve shivers from the air on his butt cheek as his bottom is exposed. Bucky strokes the flesh, parts him gently and Steve knows his daddy is looking at him there.
“Get my shirt, sweetheart. Whenever you get overwhelmed then you hold onto something of daddy’s.”
“I’m not overwhelmed, daddy.”
Bucky peers over and looks at him with a frown. “Steve, there are tears on your cheeks. You were whimpering.”
He touches his face, surprised and unsettled that Bucky is right. “It’s not bad, daddy. I didn’t mean to.”
“I know, sweetheart. I’m not mad or upset. Grab my shirt, clutch it and then cup yourself.”
Steve gets the shirt from beside him, he’d slept with it on his pillow and then holds himself tightly. “Why am I upset?”
“Because you’re perfect.”
That is not the right answer. Steve knows that much. “Daddy. I’m serious. Why do you think I’m overwhelmed?”
“Because submissive omegas usually behave in two ways. They’re either comfortable with their desires and what makes them feel good or they find it upsetting. And some omegas, the very gentlest and softest omegas, they just fall to pieces when they’re getting used to their needs. Getting wet, being aroused, those are all things a lot of submissive omegas struggle with. It’s okay to cry and be scared by what you want. That’s normal, I swear. Honey, it will get easier. And mounting is the answer. You’ll get bred up, get come and a well-loved hole and everything will be okay. You’ll get used to your needs, sweetheart. You’ll give them to daddy.”
Bucky strokes the exposed globe of Steve’s ass, urges his thigh up the bed and Steve can feel the weight of his daddy’s gaze staring at his hole. “Now then, tell daddy how your bottom feels.”
“Em-empty,” he whispers.
“Is it hot?”
“Is it swollen?”
“I don’t know.” He clutches the shirt, presses his face there and the material gets wet quickly.
“Oh, sweetheart,” he says, and kisses Steve’s shoulder. “I think you should touch yourself. So you know.”
“No, daddy. Please don’t make me.”
“You don’t want to, at all?”
His daddy keeps petting him. Steve risks a glance back at him. His daddy is staring at the wall. He blinks and looks at Steve, smiles at him.
“Is it bad? You don’t want to look at it, either. Don’t want to touch me,” Steve says, lower lip trembling with emotion. He moves so he’s on his back, Bucky looming over him.
“That’s wrong. You’re confused, Steve. I love your bottom. I’m thinking about breeding you again. You’re really swollen and needing. It’s not heat, but what we’ve done has affected you. There’s a bit of a disconnect between your mind and body and I was just trying to think of the best way to proceed. That’s what I was thinking about.”
“What should I do?”
Bucky looks at him with so much affection that Steve settles into the bed. His daddy stares at his chest. “Be good and touch your pretty chest. That’s what I want,” he orders.
Steve obeys, a hand on his chest, wanting Bucky to be happy with him.
“There you go. That’s better. Daddy loves watching you play with yourself. Does that feel good?”
“Yes, daddy.” He isn’t sure what to do. He doesn’t touch himself. Not ever. “Sh-show me?” Steve whispers.
“Of course, honey. You pinch the nipple.”
“Whatever feels best. Maybe gentle? Maybe firm? Maybe quick pinches, maybe a steady grip. It seems like you like that on your cocklet?”
“What? No, I don’t,” he says, reflexively.
Bucky’s brows raise. As if he doesn’t believe Steve.
“Will you breed me?” Steve asks, wanting to change the subject.
“Do you think I should?”
“Yes. You’re hard, daddy. You need it,” he says, clenching inside and glad Bucky can’t tell just how desperate Steve is.
“Hmm. I need it? That’s true. What about you, babydoll? Do you need it?”
Bucky chuckles. “Yes, you. The state of your bottom says you do.”
“No, daddy. I just want you to have what you need.”
“Ah. That’s interesting.”
“What’s interesting?” Steve demands, looking back at him.
“You. You’re interesting and perfect. I’m so glad I get to figure you out. Now then. I think daddy does need to breed you up. Very badly. Isn’t that right?”
“Yes,” he says, eagerly. Why won’t Bucky touch him where he’s hot? Bucky wipes away the tears on Steve’s face.
“Pretty baby. I wish it didn’t upset you so.”
“I don’t know why I’m upset. I want you to have what you need, daddy.”
“Stevie,” he says, demanding Steve look at him. “Do you hurt? Is it a bad empty?”
“I don’t know. Just— you.”
“Okay. Let’s focus on how much I want you then. Do you know your body responds to mine? If you ever get swollen and empty that means your alpha needs you. If you feel the need to submit and be good for your daddy, it’s because I need to dominate you. The more you hurt, it just means I need you.”
“Do you promise, daddy?” He whispers, and the tears come faster.
“Yeah, honey. I promise. I need you real bad. So badly I could cry. Is that why you’re crying and empty? Are you doing it so daddy doesn’t have to?”
“Yes. I think so. I do… I do feel really empty inside, daddy. It hurts a lot. Please make it stop.”
“What a pretty offer. How nice you are to your daddy. Let’s get you bred, princess. Here’s the slick daddy needs in order to take you. Why do we use slick?”
“Because of my gland.”
“That’s wrong. Why? We talked about this yesterday.”
“No, daddy. It’s my gland—”
“Stevie. You’re not doing me any favors by trying to take the blame on this. That’s not your role in this relationship. Didn’t we just decide this is all about daddy? So, why do we use slick?”
Steve has to close his eyes and think for a moment. Find the words, put them into order. “Because we both don’t get wet enough.”
Bucky makes a hmm sound. “You know what? Yes, that’s a good answer. Don’t you think we’re lucky that it’s such an easy thing to fix?”
“Good boy. Yes. We’re lucky it’s so easy. Now have a think, clever boy. Daddy is really hard. Daddy has been pressed up against your perfect bottom all night, has been breathing in your scent, do you think daddy needs to breed you up?”
“Yes,” Steve says, in relief. They just talked about this. He knows this answer. His hand works at his cocklet, gripping and pulling it up and down just a little. He shivers at the sensation.
“Very good, sweetheart. I like you giving me something nice to look at, don’t I? Keep touching your cocklet. I think you’re feeling how much I want you, don’t you?”
“You love it, daddy. More than anything,” he says. It’s such an obvious question. Steve is suddenly wet, his hand soaked and his daddy stays close and over him, makes a shushing noise like Steve is in pain or having a nightmare.
“You just go along with it. That’s what good boys do. It’s not a bad thing,” he says, kissing Steve gently.
It’s too much. Too intense and he tries to roll over, to present so his daddy can breed him.
“Stay where you are, princess. Just for a minute. It’s almost over. Pull, honey. Daddy is still watching. Jiggle that tiny cocklet for me.”
He sobs but obeys. Bucky rubs gently over Steve’s nipples and his chest for long moments. “Do you know what else I love?”
“What?” Steve asks, worried he took too long to answer.
“You’re okay. There’s no rush. I love it when you get swollen and soft. That means I can mount you. It makes it better for me. I like looking at you when you’re like that. So, isn’t it a good thing if your hole is swollen and soft?”
Steve has to repeat the question in his mind, let it turn over. Being swollen is gross and weird. Soft is… soft will feel good for Bucky. Swollen means warmth and alphas do like that. So, isn’t it nice he can give that to Bucky? “Yes, daddy.”
“Good boy. That’s right. Swollen and soft for daddy is a good thing. Turn over and show daddy your pretty bottom now. Let’s see if you’re all swollen and ready for me. I bet you are because you’re my very god boy.”
Bucky gets slick on his fingers, presses it between Steve’s cheeks. He’s so hot there that he yelps and buries his face. It’s awful and embarrassing. He must look wrong. He hates it, he thinks, holding onto that thought as Bucky brushes a knuckle over his rim. Steve releases. He’s tense and angry one moment, revolted and scared and then he’s wet again. It’s spilling out of him, soaking the silk swaddling ties and leaking straight through.
“Ride it. Say yes. Tell me yes, Steve. Right now.”
“Push back onto my fingers just a little. Gentle that hold on your cock. Daddy wants it to feel good for you. Jiggle your hand, go on.”
He sobs and obeys even though it’s difficult.
“That’s right, baby. So soft, isn’t it? Is it like a wave? Doesn’t it feel like love?”
“I don’t know. I’m scared.”
“Pretty baby. I know. Gosh that’s difficult for you, isn’t it?”
Bucky’s fingers keep pressing, rubbing at his rim softly and the pleasure won’t go away, just stays and lingers, his daddy’s fingers bringing it back over and over again.
“You have to take what daddy gives you, princess. Fuck you’re so god damned perfect. I can’t believe how much you make me need to come.” The strain of all this patience is wearing, some part of Steve understands that.
“I’m too wet. It’s bad, daddy.”
“No, it’s good, babydoll. It’s what I want. Let’s focus on daddy then. My wetness is going to go in your pretty hole. That’ll give you something to think about. You’re going to be my good omega and you’re going to let me, isn’t that right?”
“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” Bucky says. “You’re ripe, sweetheart. So swollen. Daddy is going to ease inside this hole, sweetheart. Soak you inside. You want daddy to drip out of you?”
Bucky presses a finger inside him. Goes deep, pumps in and out gently and Steve has to present, has to get his bottom into the air where it should be.
“Have to be up, daddy.” But he’s weak and everything is difficult. Bucky helps him into position.
“There you go,” Bucky says, gruffly. Two fingers sink inside him and he keens, passage milking his daddy’s fingers.
“That’s why you couldn’t keep the ben wa balls inside, isn’t it, sweetheart? Why we took them out in the night. You’re so good, your body knows what to do and I can feel you trying to pull my fingers deeper. Sweet little breeding omega. Cock now,” he growls, pressing urgently inside Steve, groaning as he slides into Steve’s passage, makes Steve hot and aching inside.
“Fuck, you feel so good, baby. Squeeze, honey. Perfect omega.”
Bucky grips Steve’s hips tight and then rides him to the bed, Steve rippling inside as his daddy moves deeper. His daddy’s cock goes over his gland and Steve bares his neck instinctively. His daddy bites him over his gland, fear coursing through Steve, and then there’s the scent of blood. Everything goes black.
Steve dreams of taking a shower. He dreams of eating breakfast. He has a dream where his daddy dresses him, sucks on his new bite while his cock is snug and warm in his daddy’s hand and it all feels so good he releases, his daddy’s deep voice chuckling against his skin. When he wakes up he’s in a doctor’s office, on a table and his daddy is beside him, hand in his hair and the other over his cocklet, cupping him to keep him safe. His feet are in stirrups. A woman is talking.
“Daddy?” He mumbles, the word difficult.
“You’re safe, sweetheart.”
“Then go ahead and rest. I’m here,” he says.
He lets his eyes close. And then Steve’s awake again, the paper under his body crinkles when he moves, and his daddy kisses him on the cheek. He’s no longer in stirrups but laying on his side, a blanket over him.
“Hi,” Bucky says, with a soft smile.
“We’re just waiting for your labs to come back.”
Steve rubs at his eyes, discombobulated. “I don’t even know how I got here.”
“I know,” he says, pressing his forehead to Steve’s. “You’re safe, I swear.” His alpha’s scent is anxious, bitter with worry. “Are you scared?”
“No,” he says, touching his daddy’s hair. “I know you wouldn’t let anything bad happen to me. I’m just surprised. I want to get dressed.”
“Okay,” Bucky says, and picks up Steve’s clothing from a chair, helps Steve sit up. The gown pools in Steve’s lap. A shirt that smells like his daddy goes over his head and then a sweater. He presses his face into Bucky’s neck and then somehow he’s standing, pants are on him and he’s resting in Bucky’s arms. He’s wearing his daddy’s clothes, which is nice. And they’re the clothes he dreamed about which means that was all real somehow. They move to a chair and Bucky tries to pull him onto his lap but Steve goes to the floor, moving between his daddy’s legs.
“Stevie,” Bucky murmurs. “The doctor will come back in soon. Don’t you want to sit here with me? On my lap or even in the chair and I’ll stand next to you?”
Does he have to? He blinks up at Bucky.
“Poor thing. Let me hold you,” he says, wanting Steve to go up and be with him.
Steve flinches, buries his face in his daddy’s thigh and tries not to sob. “I want to be here. I— you need me here.”
“I think the odd day has made you very fragile and you should stay close. What does daddy need from you? Just this or something else? I think you know,” he says, and waits. Why hasn’t Bucky offered his cock to nurse and warm?
Steve’s fingers are unsteady as he tries to get Bucky’s pants undone. It’s so difficult he gives up, buries his face in Bucky’s groin. Bucky grips him by the back of the neck. His thumb presses into the bite, soothing Steve and he moans.
“Daddy, your cock. You need it,” he pleads, kissing absently.
Bucky gets up, grabbing the blanket and coming back. He undoes his pants, Steve’s mouth starts watering and he helps at the end, getting his cock out, taking it into his mouth as Bucky throws the blanket over the top of him so Steve can’t be seen. Steve sighs in relief, is so pleased and safe he drifts away again.
Steve moans and his daddy lifts the blanket. Looks down at him.
“Are you back again?”
“You’re not hard,” he murmurs, popping off the soft cock.
“I came already.” Steve swallows and licks his lips. Can he taste a trace of it?
“Why don’t I remember?”
“Because you’re very gentle and it’s a lot for you. Do you remember me biting you this morning? Breeding you?” Bucky asks, with a very concerned expression. His eyes are very blue and he blinks and looks away, as if he’s upset about something.
“And after that?”
Steve shrugs, uncertain.
“Are you… upset? It is frightening that you don’t remember?” Bucky asks.
“No. Why would I be upset? I feel drunk or something. Good.”
The door opens and Steve shoves his face back between Bucky’s legs, gets his daddy’s cock back on his tongue where it belongs. Bucky grunts, his thighs flex around Steve’s shoulders and he drops the blanket back over his head, hiding him.
“How is he?” A woman asks.
“He seems better. He answered questions and is aware of where he is. His pupils looked normal. He doesn’t smell of fear or anxiety. He has no memory of the day, though.”
“Reinforcement bites can do that when an omega is particularly submissive and getting close to heat. As long as he isn’t upset by it, I wouldn’t be concerned. It’s another thing that will lessen over time. Do you want him to join us?”
“He’s fine where he is,” Bucky says, and Steve sighs in relief.
“His bloodwork shows that he is approaching heat. Finding one’s mate has a tendency to induce it so that’s not a concern. His submissive omega traits will be exacerbated because of it. From what you’ve said, and what I’ve observed so far, I think classifying him as a submissive omega makes sense. Even with impending heat, he’s top of the range. When will you be making your guardianship legal?”
“I put the paperwork in this morning. The health screening is the final part of it.”
“Yes, here is that form,” she says, wheeling closer. Steve stays still. He doesn’t want anyone near his daddy. He gets petted through the blanket. “I don’t think I can avoid classifying him as a Traumatized Omega.”
“I don’t believe he is,” Bucky says.
“I can only go by what I see. I agree that it isn’t typical trauma but his reactions are so extreme that it makes him atypical. Therefore, he just gets put in that category. The laws for submissive omegas are still regressive in some ways. If you’re taking legal guardianship of him then it doesn’t really matter,” she says.
“Could I talk to him about it? I’m not sure we’re comfortable with that decision. He’ll be able to think it through once we’re home.”
“Yes. It’s a provisional diagnosis. The fact that he’s close to heat means he could get retested. But, from what I’ve seen so far: memory loss, fear of arousal, inability to self soothe, cock nursing and warming in public, and even the hiding, those are all traits typical to traumatized submissive omegas required to be under legal guardianship. You’d have the authority to prescribe medication and/or treatment for him. Undertaking an omega with such intense needs can be—”
“He’s perfect. If he’s content then so am I,” Bucky says, firmly. Steve stops sucking, lets Bucky’s cock go but stays under the blanket. His shoulder gets a squeeze. Everything is okay.
“I understand. I’m legally required to give you that information. The Alpha Protection Act of 1975 requires all medical professions to disclose treatment options to legally responsible guardians of submissive omegas. Medication and therapies are sometimes the best option for both parties. The needs of an omega with his characteristics can be extensive. If something changes, we’re here to offer help. At this point I typically offer a list of options to make the omega less demanding but I’m thinking that isn’t something you’re interested in?”
“No, thank you. Not unless it’s better for him. I don’t find this to be difficult.”
“I understand. He’s very lucky to have such a caring and supportive alpha. Medication is a poor substitute for affection and time. I’m thinking you know the benefits of a daddy/boy relationship?”
“Yes. We’re doing that.”
“Good. That’s wonderful. In regards to the gland, we’ll call in the prescription for the mounting cream. It’s a mixture of drugs and hormones that will encourage gland development and bloodflow to the area. Typically, the cream makes them cranky. The swelling typically translates mentally to desire but the cream is irritating when applied internally. Sexual frustration, unsatisfying release, those are the most common problems. Minor but annoying. It’s absorbed really well and that sensation fades after ten minutes or so. It replaces the use of slick. Expect to be mounting him a lot during this time. We give you specialty condoms. It’s best if the cream can absorb without semen. Please don’t come in him without a condom until the heat hits. On the plus side, I do think that will resolve the issue. He’s close enough to heat that you have a real chance of getting him to function normally. There’s so much blood flow to the area already, that if you work him now until he goes into heat I think you should get the gland large enough for producing slick.”
“But, with the spanking?” Bucky clarifies. His cock twitches in Steve’s mouth.
“I’m afraid so. And it should be on the hole, ideally with a prostate plug in place. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was very difficult for him. Submissive omegas react unpredictably to spanking at the best of times. You’re getting him secured?”
“Yes, we’re going to McLeod’s after this.”
“Good. In terms of toys, just know his canal isn’t malformed but it’s on the petite side. I would avoid all knotting toys.”
“What if he feels like he needs one?”
“That isn’t typically the case with omegas when they’re that small. The dimuntive gland and passage are actually common enough that we know a lot about them. I don’t think he’ll want knotting toys. If his heat hits and you can’t get him to settle with come, biting, intercourse and a plug then call the office and we’ll send round a numbing agent. You work it into the inside of his rim where a knot would normally bulge and he’ll be fine. But, I really don’t think it’ll be an issue. What is the plan for McLeod’s?”
“I’m pretty sure you have a plan, so you tell me,” Bucky says, chuckling.
“I have some suggestions. They’re very good there. They import a range of plugs and carry non-standard sizes. His canal is a small. His interior depth, once the gland issue is resolved is x-small. He is very short inside. He can’t use a normal plug until the gland ruptures. It’d be much too uncomfortable.”
“We tried ben wa balls but they shifted in the night.”
“Yes, I’d imagine that anything without a flared base will get sucked in. He has a strong milking reflex. Part of a submissive omegas desire to conceive. You want to keep him plugged at night, right?”
“If it settles him.”
“Considering how content he is to be nursing, I think it will. He’ll likely take to it after a day or two and then love it. They can recommend a 24 hour plug for him if that’s what he wants. Oh. Back to the gland. A lot of countries like gland play. You need a gland plug in a European size 2. I put his measurements on the form if they need it. It’s uncomfortable but until his heat hits, the more you can work that gland and stimulate it the better. Honestly, until his heat hits you have to be working his gland relentlessly in order to get it enlarged sufficiently. If you’re watching tv have him on your lap and work him. It’s just until his heat.”
There a pause. “Also, books. People usually advise What to Expect When You Bond a Submissive Omega. I hate that book. It’s old fashioned and is just one horror story after another. You want The Good Alpha’s Guide For a Happy Submissive Omega. He should read it too.”
“We can do that.”
“You might also look into magazines. Let him choose what he feels is appropriate and then you should read it also. Discuss it with him. There’s a fair amount of desensitizing you’ll need to do. And it’s up to you how comfortable you are with his regressive tendencies. A lot of that is nature. The blanket and nursing makes me think you’re content to let him behave traditionally. And, honestly, that would be best for him mentally. But, it’s not something most alphas have the patience for. Submissive omegas are expected to adapt and that’s… well, that’s a rant for another day.”
“I think being a beta is helpful,” Bucky says. “I’m pretty enthusiastic about encouraging his submissive omega tendencies and I have the patience to do it.”
She makes a hmm sound. “Yes, I imagine that does help. He’s very lucky, Mr. Barnes. Don’t doubt yourself,” she says.
The doctor leaves. Bucky lifts the blanket. “Are you ready to come out?”
“I think she was hitting on you.”
Bucky laughs. “She wasn’t.”
Steve pushes to his feet. He’s surprisingly calm. Bucky stands up, tucks his cock away, getting Steve to take the the papers so he can make himself presentable. “It sounds like I’m too much work,” he says, staring at the prescriptions and instructions of how Bucky should take care of him. Gland and impending heat, then you have to deal with the heat, and then afterwards you have to hope I can get myself together enough to not suck your dick in public and lose time. You’d have been better off if we never met.”
“Steve. You don’t get to decide how I feel. There isn’t a single moment where I’ve wished this wasn’t happening.”
Steve puts his hands on his hips, stares at the floor. “I don’t know if I can go back to being alone,” Steve says, gruffly, sounding more like he used to. It’s horribly difficult to try and remember how he used to be, what he’d do to feel calm and distant. The armor he had just yesterday which meant he could entertain the idea of walking away from this. Already that skill is almost gone. Like he needs to do a pull-up but his muscles are atrophied. He used to do it easily. It has to be there. He can be without Bucky, he thinks and tries to imagine it, feel like that person.
He might be sick.
And then he’s in Bucky’s arms, weeping, only vaguely aware of how he got there.
“No, sweetheart. You’re done with that. We’re together. I’m not letting you go. It’s too late. You’re bitten and claimed. Trying to imagine leaving is only going to upset you.”
“I’m sorry,” he sobs, into Bucky’s shirt.
“You say, ‘I’m sorry, daddy.’ Now then, can you go to McLeod’s or not? I want you secure and plugged as soon as possible. You can come with me or I’ll have someone stay with you while I go. But, we can’t put it off.”
“Because of my gland?”
“That’s part of it, yes. She said it was malformed but intact and soft enough that it can likely become functional since your heat hasn’t hit yet. Once you go through heat then it’s done. But, it won’t be easy, sweetheart. You’ll be very sore and hard used. Getting spanked with a plug is likely to be very stressful. If you don’t want to get it functional then you should say.”
“I want to be good for you. What do you want, daddy?”
Bucky kisses the top of his head. “I think we should try. You spiral too quickly if you’re insecure and this gland makes you doubt yourself. You’d be happier if you got wet for me.”
He whimpers at the idea of it. He’d be wet like Sitwell and all those other omegas. “It looks gross.”
“We can deal with that if we need to. You don’t have to be wet in front of people. They don’t have to know. Okay?”
“Yes, daddy. I want to go to the store.”
Apparently this chapter was quite difficult! But, here it is.
Thank you to Mitsusu who came up with these awesome book covers for the books mentioned in this chapter. As an addition, there's the cover of Jasper's auto-biography which we were cackling over in the discord group. The idea that there are people out there who are willing to go along with Jasper Sitwell slutty omega is just... I love you all. And if you read this note and think 'I think those are my people' let me know ;) But be warned, the idea of vision as a top/dom keeps getting brought up. The filth.
They’re in the elevator, on the way up to the fifth floor of McLeod’s when Steve whispers in his ear. “What is this place?”
“It’s basically the omega store. Been here for decades. I think it’s a bit niche now. Most omegas, unless they’re submissive, don’t really want to go to a store like this any longer. They’re pretty traditional. You don’t have to talk to anyone if you don’t want to. Typically, if you want them to deal with you instead of your alpha, then I need to tell them.”
Steve nods, as if that makes perfect sense to him.
“Why am I thinking you don’t have a problem with that?”
“Why do I want to talk to anyone? People always want to talk to me. That’s one of the good things about having an alpha, I don’t have to deal with anything,” Steve says, as if it’s that easy. Steve presses close.
“They sell everything from breeding clothes to collars. They have changing rooms to try cages and clothing on, but also where an alpha can take their omega in hand or breed them if the need hits.” Bucky watches Steve closely for his reaction to this bit of news.
Steve looks up at him, trying to see his reaction, more alert than he’s been in awhile. “If the need hits who?”
“I don’t know. I think most of the time the expectation is that it’s for the alpha’s convenience. They buy something for their omega and the omega is grateful and aroused, the alpha is aroused, it’s a traditional way of doing things. The idea that one can’t wait to mount their omega or the omega can’t wait to get home before being settled on a cock.”
Steve blushes and looks down. “But… people would know what you were doing to me. What I… I don’t want people to think about what I need from you.”
“What if it’s about what I need from you? If you pick up on how much I need you, then what? There’s no wrong answer, sweetheart.”
Steve is anxious but still not answering.
Bucky sighs, gets Steve facing him, cups his face so he pays attention to his alpha. “Every feeling you have, every reaction and fear, all of it, good or bad, is mine. You spiral quickly into bad thoughts. I want to take the very best care of you. You are my priority. You’re a gift. Don’t just tell me what you think you should, or what you think I want to hear. You have no idea what an alpha thinks or feels and certainly not me. I can always wait, always put you first because I’m a beta. It doesn’t hurt my feelings if you can’t stand the idea of being bred in public. I don’t need to prove anything to you or override your needs for my own. My omega doesn’t want to be thought of in sexual terms by anyone else? That’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with being modest.”
“No one wants an omega that can’t even go to playmating. Or can’t be mounted in public—“
“Stop. You’re not really listening anymore, sweetheart. I’m …. Daddy is going to be respectful of you while we’re here. You’re modest. You don’t want to talk to anyone. That’s okay, babydoll.”
Steve presses his mouth to Bucky’s. “I don’t want to talk to anyone. And I don’t want… I don’t want them to think of me that way. Only you and… at home, daddy.”
He loves that. Loves how shy and submissive Steve is for him. Steve is so well guarded, he’s a fortress against desire, practically impenetrable. But, not for Bucky. “It’s special, sweetheart. No one should know if we can avoid it. Isn’t that right?”
Steve’s reticence makes Bucky more possessive, proud of Steve in a way he can’t articulate. “Do you want to be involved or do you want to just go to the book section? You can just sit in a chair and read a magazine and I can get you if I need you?”
“Is that… would that be bad?”
“No. They’ve got it set up so you can see the whole store. You’ll know where I am at all times.”
“That’s… I don’t need to know where you are. I’m not that bad,” he says, chuckling nervously.
“It’s not bad, sweetheart. That’s pretty normal. It can be stressful to be discussed, know we’re talking about things you’ll wear, that you need, or I want for you, and to have someone staring at you. We need your pillow and to get you secure, and I can do the rest while you do some reading and have a coffee,” he says, kissing him on the forehead.
Steve wraps his arms around him, needing to be held for a minute. Bucky leans close, scenting Steve, relieved when he starts to calm down, the scent of his anxiety mellowing out.
“So, you’ll get the… p-plugs and… things and I can just read?”
“Yup. Maybe have a snack, too.”
Steve finally pushes away from him, calm and ready to deal with McLeod’s.
They start off in the comfort pillow section. The clerk leads them towards the back of the store and asks what the pillow will be used for. “Is your omega submissive? Is it decorative? There are many factors that go into deciding upon the right pillow for an omega.”
“What do you have that’s designed for a submissive omega?”
The clerk picks up a large bulky pillow that’s more like a body pillow than a cushion. He passes it to Bucky. Steve takes it from him. He watches Steve out of the corner of his eye, how he’s already holding onto the pillow like it’s his, arms wrapped around it.
“Are you familiar with Rock Sherman?” The clerk asks.
“The actor?” Bucky isn’t sure where this is going.
“Yes, he was very well known for being involved in alpha rights, a bit of an alpha icon really. He was staunchly opposed to submissive omega rights. He believed omegas were best cared for by doting alphas and that emancipation would be worse for omegas in the long run. This was the wrong side of history to be on,” the clerk says, chuckling. “In that peculiar way of politics, he lived long enough to see alpha rights become tied into the preservation of submissive omega rights. He wound up becoming a spokesman for the religious right, alpha fundamentalist groups, and submissive omegas who felt that the new freedoms did nothing more than create ways for them to be abandoned. Their specialness was stripped away. That a submissive omega might have unique needs was very much ignored by the broader omega rights movement. Anyway, this pillow was one of the things he championed. It’s a comfort pillow, but designed by a submissive omega and for submissive omegas. The shape of the pillow mimics an alpha silhouette. It’s for breeding and mounting, something that can cause some omegas quite a bit of emotional strain. The pillow broadens here, almost like shoulders, with the intention that an omega can put their alpha’s shirt over the pillow and seek comfort in their scent.”
“That’s such a good idea,” Bucky hears Steve murmur. The clerk continues his spiel and Bucky isn’t sure if the clerk has figured out that he’s talking to Steve Rogers and is giving him a history lesson, or if this is leading up to a revelation that this pillow if very expensive.
“There was quite a backlash from progressive omegas who claimed the design was too close to a stuffed animal or doll, that it was further infantilization of submissive omegas and had no purpose in the modern movement, but it is in fact one of our best sellers. It’s under the Rock Sherman brand and 50% of all proceeds are donated to the Submissive Omega Foundation, which he established, and which runs support groups, shelters, and alpha trainings so they can better care for their submissive omega. It’s actually a very good cause. Typically, one needs an additional pillow for post-mounting comfort as it’s not designed to be sat upon, but a lot of submissive omegas latch onto the alpha pillow very happily.”
As if to prove the clerk’s point, Steve is still holding onto it, his head resting on the top. He’s so cute, his submissive omega designation on full display, that Bucky pulls him close, touching the pillow and the back of Steve’s neck before he can think too much of it.
“I think you found your pillow, sweetheart.”
His eyes are very blue, his lashes impossibly long as he gazes at Bucky. Bucky resigns himself to being hard the entire they’re there. He doesn’t try to take it from Steve, even though the clerk offers to put it up at the counter. Steve blushes, keeping a hold of the pillow as they continue shopping.
Bucky gets Steve a feeding cushion so he can sit on the floor next to Bucky’s chair and be comfortable. He isn’t sure how often Steve will be hand-fed, but probably most evenings. They also get a cushion that’s traditional and solely for aching bottoms.
Their items get taken to the front, even the alpha pillow, which might be a mistake if Steve’s tight grip on his hand is any indication. “Let’s look at getting you secure,” he says.
“Honey. Ease up,” Bucky says, gently.
“Sorry,” Steve says, standing several feet away from the cages. Anxiety pours off of him.
“Talk to me. What’s going on?”
“I don’t… nothing.”
“We just talked about this. Your only job is to give me information so I can take care of you.”
Steve presses close, gets held for a long moment before he speaks into Bucky’s sweater. “I don’t want metal. I don’t even know why. And I don’t want it to be hard. And I like… I like being in your hand, daddy.”
“It doesn’t have to be metal, sweetheart. Or hard. A restrictive undergarment might be a better choice. Something I can reach into easily. I want access to you, too. I love holding you that way. We need something that takes that into consideration.”
“You choose, daddy.”
That’s when the clerk comes back. “We want the security of his cocklet and balls being restricted but also find that a traditional hold is necessary. Skin to skin.”
The clerk looks at Steve’s outfit. “Have you considered changing his dress? A longer shirt that would preserve his modesty and pants that allow you to reach inside without having to bare him in public.”
They get led away from the cages and Steve is sent into the dressing rooms with a new outfit to try on. The clerk speaks quietly. “Most omegas that are very traditionally inclined require some overt display of dominance while their cages are being discussed. It’s very stressful. You’re more than welcome to knot him before we look?”
“No, thank you.”
“We also recommend plugging and breast control to bring down anxiety.”
“We’ll be purchasing plugs but he can’t wear them out of the store. We’re not there yet.” Bucky clears his throat, knows he’s blushing for once. “Do you mean nipple clamps or piercing or….?” He doesn’t know what else there is.
“It depends upon the omega. Some omegas find the frustration unbearable and their anxiety gets worse. But, the majority of omegas find that intense stimulation of their nipples and breast tissue leaves them calm and receptive, puts them into a positive pre-mounting mindset where they’re less likely to panic.”
“I’ve not heard this. I work in gender resources so this seems a little surprising.”
“It’s relatively new but we’re getting lots of products and the customer feedback has been very positive. Traumatized omegas get left out of a lot of research.”
Bucky knows that. SHIELD doesn’t have traumatized omegas. Not like Steve who’d want an alpha pillow and clothing so he can be gripped tight in public.
“You could try a nipple engorgement cream or clamps and see how he responds,” the clerk suggests.
He’s already thinking about Steve’s tits being swollen and engorged, how Steve would likely react, when Steve gets his attention.
“Daddy?” Steve says, from the dressing room. Bucky goes inside. The shirt looks normal, is tucked in. The pants look normal too, but there’s something a little off with the waist band. “Try?”
Bucky goes up behind him, pulls the shirt out of Steve’s pants, pressing his cock against Steve’s ass.
Steve’s gaze meets his in the mirror. “I like you in this outfit,” Bucky says, quietly. Steve offers his neck, pressing back and rubbing against him gently. “Naughty, when you know I can’t have you.” He kisses Steve’s neck, grinning at him so he knows it isn’t a real complaint.
He should let it go, leave it until they get home but he can see Steve’s nipples through the material. Bucky pulls the fabric tight across Steve’s chest, admiring his hard nipples, the ample swell of his breasts. “Stunning,” he growls.
“Alpha, it’s brushing against my nipples.”
Bucky slips a hand down the front of Steve’s pants. The waistband expands. Steve’s legs spread and he whimpers, clutching onto Bucky’s arm and dragging it to his breast. He’s trying to get Bucky to pinch his nipple. “Why am I thinking you heard that conversation?”
Steve freezes, caught out. His gaze is firmly fixed to the ground and the cock in his hand twitches. Bucky rubs firmly over the warm, soft head of Steve’s cock, holds the small package of cock and balls more firmly in his hand.
“Pretty baby. You didn’t get suckled today. I think that’s something we can’t let slide. Daddy will get you some pretty clamps, some cream to keep you tingly and warm—”
“No, your mouth,” he pleads, grinding into Bucky’s hand. He shoves Bucky’s other hand up, forcing him to squeeze the flesh of his chest, wriggling ineffectively as he rides the grip, cock getting damp. And then he whimpers and slumps back into Bucky.
There’s a breathy inhale, tears slip down his cheeks. “Little struggle and surrender for my babydoll. Why? What’s got you so worked up?”
“I could… I wouldn’t mind doing that here, alpha. The suckling.”
Bucky is tempted. But, he isn’t sure where it would stop. He thinks he’d wind up mounting Steve and that might be something Steve would regret. The best thing to do is ease back from this, finish shopping and just get home. “Daddy wouldn’t be able to stop, princess. I’d have to mount you then.”
“I… if you have to.”
“No, I don’t have to. We’re not doing that, remember? My modest omega wasn’t in favor of that. I made you a promise. I’m gonna let go of you. Let’s see how you respond.”
The answer is very badly. As soon as his hand is gone, Steve is gripping himself tight and hard. “Okay, let’s resolve the securing issue,” Bucky says, goes to the dressing room door and peers outside. Their salesperson snaps to attention and is there.
“What are the options for securing submissive omegas who don’t like metal and need to be held by their alpha?”
“How does he like to be held? Loosely or tight?”
“Tight. I think very tight.”
“Does your omega prefer his genitals to be pressed close to his body or pulled down or even tucked?”
He has to turn back and ask Steve. Steve’s cheeks are red. He’s sitting in the corner, holding his cocklet. “Close,” he says, quietly.
The clerk dashes off to get examples and comes back with several options of very sturdy looking, rather old-fashioned undergarments. After some trial and error, the garment Steve likes best has full coverage of the bottom but a slit for mounting, and some very intense compression. He looks almost smooth everything is squished so tightly. But there’s a set of laces to pull it tighter. Bucky frowns at him. “It’s like your little cocklet is in a corset. It’s adorable. Do you like it?”
“Yeah, a lot,” he says, and gets dressed again. He’s definitely calmer which is a relief. Bucky takes Steve to the cafe, gets him settled and goes to get the rest of their purchases.
By the time Bucky has figured out everything they need, from plugs to cages, to special lubricant and even the mounting cream Steve will need, Bucky has a headache. He gets a coffee and sits down opposite Steve in the cafe, rubbing his temples briefly. Steve puts his magazine down.
“How are you?”
“I’m tired. I want to go home and spend time with you,” he says, taking a sip of his latte.
Steve blushes. Bucky looks at the magazine. There’s a few on the table and one on the chair. “What did you find?” Bucky asks.
“Nothing. I was just… you told me to look at some.”
“I did. I’m glad you were obedient,” he says. “Maybe we should get a few?”
Steve puts a magazine down on the chair and Bucky’s pretty sure Steve wishes Bucky hadn’t seen it. Chaperoned, a magazine for teenage omegas, if the cover is anything to go by. “Do you want that one?”
“No. I just… it has lots of stuff on playmating and bite guards and stuff. And I don’t… I’m not interested in that.”
Which leaves Bottoms UP! and Back There. Steve pushes Back There over to Bucky. “That one, please.”
Bucky flips through it and quickly has to close it so he doesn’t laugh. Wait. Steve isn’t joking.
“Bottoms UP! is the one we get for the office at SHIELD.”
“Yeah, I’m sure that’s the one Jasper would like,” Steve says, rolling his eyes. He won’t tell Steve Jasper makes Bucky’s work life a hell of a lot easier. He’s got a few alphas that are always much easier to manage if they knot before their appointment. Jasper loves being helpful, can’t get enough of being knotted. It works well.
Worked well. Bucky’s job is something that will need to be discussed with Fury soon. One problem at a time. “It’s progressive is all. Sex positive, omega positive, very much geared towards the modern omega who’s trying to juggle it all.”
Steve flicks him a glance. It might be a glare. “That’s the one you want me to get?” He asks, almost accusing.
“No, not necessarily. I just think you should have all the facts. Back There seems a lot more traditional. It likely has a much more submissively inclined readership.”
“And I’m submissive,” he says, most definitely glaring at Bucky.
“Then get that one. It’s just that a lot of the opinions will be conservative, potentially even regressive. How about we get both and you read them and decide?”
“I won’t read it, alpha,” he says. Bucky notices he doesn’t say daddy.
“What has you so against it?” Bucky asks, and takes the magazine, opening it up out of curiosity.
Steve snatches it from him. Then he drops it to the table, ashamed. “Sorry.”
Bucky moves his chair out. “Come here,” he orders and Steve gets out of his seat, sits on Bucky’s lap, hunching in to try and appear smaller.
“This chair will break, daddy.”
“Nonsense. You tell me what you read that has you so concerned and I’ll leave it alone.”
“You said… you and the doctor said a daddy/boy relationship was good. But, that’s not what that magazine thinks. They think it’s for the alpha patriarchy. It isn’t anything a normal omega should want. Certainly not out of the bedroom.”
“Oh. Well, that doesn’t sound like appropriate material, does it?”
“But, if you don’t like Back There then what am I supposed to get?”
“I didn’t say I disliked it. I just wanted to make sure it was interesting for you.” Bucky reaches over the table and picks up Back There. It’s clear Steve has been reading through it. The title article is called ‘Kneeling for Equality: Traditional Omegas speak out.’ Bucky doesn’t know what to say about that. The mental gymnastics must be fascinating. But, then there’s the second article ‘Retaining Virtue in a Playmating World’ and at first he thinks it’s a joke.
Playmating is good for both alphas and omegas. They need to learn how to please their partner, how to keep control. But, of course, Steve couldn’t stand to look at playmating, let alone participate. It must be a relief to figure out there are other omegas that feel the same way.
The last article has him confused for a moment. It’s called ‘How to Accept Your Alpha’s Commitment.’ He flips it open, trying to figure out what the magazine means with that terminology. He closes the magazine after a single glance. Well.
“Daddy, I don’t want one. I’m glad you don’t have a commitment,” he whispers.
Bucky thinks about correcting him. Surely that isn’t how the word is meant to be used? “Did you hear the doctor say it wouldn’t be good for you, anyway? You’re too little, sweetheart. Made just for me, I think. No knots for such a dainty bottom.”
Steve whimpers, shifting on his lap. His hand strays back to his cock but stops on his thigh, making a fist.
“Give yourself a squeeze before we go, sweetheart.”
“You,” he mumbles, turning into Bucky’s neck.
Bucky’s cock starts to get hard again as he reaches between Steve’s legs. “Open a little so daddy can get a good hold.”
Steve’s thighs part, easing open slowly. Because Steve has decided to do it, to obey. There’s something about the surrender, the willingness to make himself be vulnerable by opening his legs because Bucky has asked him to, when he could very easily not do it, and is so strong he can’t be forced into anything, that makes it extra erotic. “Swear to god, I could watch you spread your legs over and over and never get tired of it.”
“Daddy,” he whispers, scandalized.
“Good boy. What a good fucking boy,” he says, and Steve’s scent becomes lust filled as he mouths Bucky’s neck, sucking on his skin. He whimpers when Bucky cups him firmly. “Sweetheart, you’re so little I can’t hardly find you,” he says, voice low with lust.
“You like that?”
“I do. You’re tiny, aren’t you?”
“I— yes, daddy,” he says, wiggling some more.
“I think it’s time to get my good boy home. Come on, sweetheart,” he says, and they get to their feet. Steve’s eyes are glassy, pupils blown as he leans against Bucky. He licks his lips.
He picks up Back There, holds Steve’s hand and takes it to the counter to pay. They’ll go through it tonight. He’s already bought everything else, had them put it in the car for him. He didn’t want Steve to think about the expense and how many things Bucky was buying just so he could take good care of his omega. Steve already thinks he’s hard work.
Bucky thinks he’s perfect.
The support from my friends for this story has been inspiring, moving and frightening. All good qualities for friends. So the next chapter is actually an advice column from BACK THERE with letters written by some truly depraved people. Once again I have to thank Mitsusu for the cover of Back There and the article titles she came up with, that are totally on point and so great. she formatted the advice column... she might actually be Auntie O. If you're intrigued by this regressive society, give it a read. They're hysterical.
The people I've met in this fandom over the last year have been the highlight of 2020. Even if it hadn't been a shitty year, y'all would still be a highlight.
newlymates commitment Q and A by InterruptedCadence
Playmating group Q by Unicorn, A by Mitsususu
Stressful Family Mother in law Q and A by CalypsoMary
Embarrassing Moisture Q and A by ModLacy
Older Omega boy Q by Lydialovestruck A by Interrupted Cadence
parents hate the alpha Q and A by Mitsususu
friends gossiping use toys Q by Unicorn, A by InterruptedCadence
presented at 14 Q and A by CanadianGarrison
compromising for alpha Q and A by InterruptedCadence
Updated tags. Let me know if I missed anything :)
They get home at dinnertime. Bucky’d ordered food before they left McLeod’s and is pleased that the food is still hot and just arrived when they get home. It means that as soon as they get into the house he’s able to get Steve fed— sitting at the table— and then get Steve into the bath so he can unpack the car without Steve having to think about what all Bucky bought.
The day isn’t over and they only have a narrow window of time to get Steve’s gland to function, before his heat hits. Even though the day has been stressful and busy, he’s got to get Steve spanked, plugged and filled with medicine before they can go to bed.
He lays out things he wants to use and puts everything else away. The toys are washed, towels are in the living room, and Bucky finally has a moment to have a drink and take a few moments to himself before getting Steve out of the tub. It’s incredible how much his life has changed in such a short amount of time, the responsibility he’s suddenly acquired. The commitment. What he’s always wanted, the dream, of getting to be an alpha to his very own omega has come true. And not just an omega but a submissive omega.
Yes, the day has been long, yes there will be challenges but he wouldn’t change it, wouldn’t want to be without him, so it doesn’t matter how much work it is. And it will get easier. As Steve settles into himself, as they figure out his needs and how he responds to various situations, their lives will develop a routine, and that will be good for the both of them.
He goes towards the bath, wondering what version of Steve he’ll get tonight. Will Steve be out of it like he was in the morning, or clingy like he was at the doctor? Will he spiral into a dark place when Bucky spanks his hole? Will he have to be fucked so he can settle down for the night? How submissive will he be?
Steve’s hair is wet and his eyes are closed, cheeks pink, skin warm and flushed from the water. The bubbles are long gone. Steve has one hand cupped over his cock and balls and he takes it away when he realizes Bucky is there.
He has the towel ready and Steve gets out, gets bundled up and dried, then sat down so Bucky can rub oil into his skin. “When did you get this?” Steve asks, looking at the bottle.
“At the store while you were reading.”
“Fig and Vanilla. Jo Malone. London, huh? Well, it smells nice.”
“Do you remember I told you your blockers sucked?”
“Yes,” Steve says, rolling his eyes.
“Well, this is what I thought of when I said you’d have to beat people off with a stick.”
“I don’t have a stick, but I’ll—“ Steve blushes and looks down.
“What? Beat me off?” Bucky laughs.
“God, I can’t even say it. I swear I used to… well, during the war I kept up with comments at least. I’m such a prude about it now.”
“Were you a prude about it then?”
He shrugs. “Probably. Well, yeah, but I wanted to fit in more.”
“Well, now you don’t have to fit in. If the rude joke is too upsetting and you’d rather not make it, then don’t. If you don’t want to swear, that’s fine, too.”
Steve chews on his lower lip absently. “You won’t mind or think I’m boring?”
“Of course I don’t mind if you say crude things or not,” Bucky says. “I think it’s adorable that it’s so difficult for you. And I like that this is the real you and I get to see it.”
Steve frowns, reaches for Bucky, wiggling a little closer so he’s at the edge of the tub. Bucky presses his chest to Steve’s, holds onto him and kisses him until Steve pulls back. “But, what if it gets worse?”
“What do you mean?”
“What if I… what if I get used to being… shy and one way with you, and then I can’t go back?”
“What do you mean by go back?”
“I don’t because I have no idea what it means to you. I can guess, but it’s better if you articulate it. You’re home, you’re safe and things are changing for you. That’s just the reality, sweetheart.”
“If I can’t be like I was. Can’t pretend to be an alpha in meetings or even with Nat. I didn’t think I was doing anything before. I thought it was easy to act like an alpha, but I think I just didn’t realize that I was keeping that barrier in place. I didn’t realize how much of a crutch the numbness was. That I felt nothing in order to get through the day. I love feeling everything when I’m with you.”
He blinks and tears slip down his cheeks.
“You sure about that, babydoll?” He asks, voice rough. It breaks his heart to see Steve struggle so.
“Even the crying, daddy. I promise—it feels good to let it out. The idea of getting numb again, going back to that… it’s scary. And the longer we do this, the more difficult it’s going to get. I’m changing. What if you don’t like it?”
“I love it and I love you, wherever you wind up. It’s too early to say what you’ll need. Feeling so much at once, your body pushing you towards heat, I don’t think you should put too much stock in anything you feel over the next few days. You’ve got so many hormones, so many urges and even those are contradictory.”
“Like what?” Steve whispers.
“Well, you want to present, but it’s embarrassing. Submissive omegas aren’t like alphas who go to war and thrive on violence and claiming. They’re not like betas who move between each gender with varying degrees of discomfort. They’re not even like other omegas who can sort of scale up and down their independence and submission so they can do jobs everyone else can do. Submissive omegas are the heart of our species, Steve. They’re the total opposite of any asshole alpha you meet. And that’s not easy in our ‘alpha first’ society. Submissive omegas have never had it easy. Most of them are medicated, or have pretty intense routines and structures in place so they can feel safe and content. It’s like walking around with out armor and everyone else has spiked chainmail on.”
“I have you, daddy,” he says. “You’re my… what about the shield?”
“We’ll talk about that later. But, yes. You do have me.” Bucky starts at Steve’s collarbone, leaves his neck out of the equation since he’s going to bite Steve and doesn’t want to be tasting vanilla oil all night. He does Steve’s arms, enjoying each line of muscle, examining the perfection of him while Steve pants quietly above him. Bucky is on the ground, between Steve’s thighs and has a perfect view of his boy’s tits. The nipples hard and pointed. “Play with yourself while I oil you up,” he says, kissing each nipple.
Steve touches himself eagerly enough and Bucky rewards him with more kisses, mouthing his soft cock and balls, sucking him into his mouth. Steve whimpers in pleasure, his cocklet and balls flushed and heavier when he’s done.
“How does that feel?”
“I need you,” he says, pinching his nipples firmly. Bucky oils him from the tops of his feet to the inside of his thighs where Steve is particularly sensitive. His legs fall open and his cocklet gets wet at the tip. His nipples are puffy and his gaze glassy, lips swollen as he watches Bucky avidly. “Daddy,” he pleads, pressing his hands into Bucky’s hair and pulling him closer, wanting his nipple in Bucky’s mouth.
Bucky finally gets to oil his pecs, spends a lot of time around the nipple but leaves enough space to get his mouth on him without the oil. Steve whines, trying to get Bucky closer, get more, desperate by the time Bucky gets his mouth back around a nipple. He licks and nibbles, suck on each bud until his nipples are very sore and red looking.
“Look, sweetheart. Can you see them? How much they like the attention?”
Steve glances down his chest. “They’re swollen,” he says, whimpering worriedly.
“Just like an omega is supposed to,” he says, reassuring him. They’re hot and the touch of Bucky’s tongue has Steve reaching for his cocklet again, all of him trembling.
“Aches. I’m… you really need me, daddy.”
“I do, baby. Feel how much,” he orders and Steve drops a hand to his cock, touching Bucky through his clothes. He sighs in relief.
“You’re so hard. In me. You need to put it in me, daddy,” he says, need making his scent sweet. His voice is a little higher, Steve dropping down into not just an omega headspace, but submissive. He wants to be bred and he wants to be good.
He gets Steve up to his feet and leads him towards the living room.
“Bed, daddy,” Steve whispers. His hand goes back to his bottom, pressing against his hole. “You have to breed me, you—“
“Not yet, princess. We have to work on your bottom, remember? For your gland. Come to the living room,” he says, and has to lead Steve there, Steve staring longingly at the bed. He’s slow to move, almost uncoordinated.
“Look, sweetheart. It’s ready for you. Your pillow is here. The couch has a towel in case there’s a mess.”
“Whose mess?” Steve asks, worriedly. Finding the words took a few seconds and he says them slowly. A little confused.
“Might be the oil. Might be come. You might release. It doesn’t matter, baby.”
“I don’t… no mess. Daddy,” he says, curling up with his pillow, scenting Bucky’s shirt that he’d put over it. Steve goes straight into presenting, his ass up in the air. He sighs in relief.
“Good boy. Ass up and ready. You must be empty on the inside, because I sure do need to breed you. Fuck, all I can think about is getting to be inside you.”
“Daddy,” he says, neck and cheeks blushing pink. He buries his face back in the pillow and slides his legs down so he’s laying flat. Steve mewls, a plaintive and whimpering sound as he pulls his legs back under him so he’s presenting again.
“There you go. That feels best, doesn’t it? My good boy gets his ass in the air so I know you want it. So it’s easy for me to give it to you. Sink on into that swollen pussy of yours.”
“Daddy, that word!” Steve sounds scandalized.
“You need to know how much I want you, sweetheart. I want you to know. I like how soft it makes you.”
“Who the fuck is that?”
“She’s… she gives advice to omegas in the magazine.”
“I can’t even imagine.” He’s going to need to check. See what this crack pot had to say since Steve thinks she’s right. He reaches between Steve’s legs, stroking over the hot skin of his perineum, brushing the backs of his fingers over his satiny balls. Steve shuffles his legs apart more.
“Good boy. You know how much I like it when you open your legs for me.”
“She says an omega has to trust their alpha.”
“Well, that’s true. And be good, I bet.”
“Hmm. Well, you’re supposed to please me, aren’t you?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Then you should blush and show me how it affects you when I tell you I’m going to breed you up and fill you with come.”
Steve looks at him with a pout. “I don’t get come,” he says, blinking tears away.
“Oh, that’s true. Not this time, no. It’s only a few days. And you can still have daddy’s come in lots of places, just not in your pretty bottom. Your balls are so cute. They’re adorable. Maybe I should suck on them until they’re sore, too.”
Steve shoves his face into his pillow, whimpering at the idea, and Bucky strips off his clothes, his cock hard and weeping in anticipation. “First you get cream. Do you know what it does?”
“For… for my gland.”
“It’s going to be a little uncomfortable and as soon as I can breed you up, I will.” He gets the package open, double checks he’s got the condom ready because he’s almost positive Steve is going to be a clingy mess desperate to get filled up once they start. Steve is very aroused. His cocklet and balls are almost purple, his perineum flushed with arousal and his hole so swollen that Bucky knows he must be beside himself and desperate to be bred.
“Poor baby. You are needful, sweetheart.” He presses his mouth to Steve’s cheek, lets his tongue slide up Steve’s perineum and Steve goes still, barely breathing and moving.
Bucky licks at him, tongue pressing at his swollen ring, licking him open. Steve sobs, hole twitching and grips his cocklet hard, jiggling the mass of it. “Daddy?”
“Go on, sweetheart.”
“Stop me,” he begs, even as his pace increases.
He covers Steve protectively while his omega struggles to release. He kisses his jaw, patiently waiting.
“Stop me, daddy.”
“Why would I do that? You’re so pretty. You need this, sweetheart. You’re close I think.”
Steve releases with a sob and they have to take a break for Steve to get held. “Wasn’t that nice? Didn’t it feel good?” He takes Steve’s hand in his, licking at his spend.
“Don’t, daddy.” Steve sobs more, jerks out of Bucky’s grip and wipes his hand frantically on the towel. Bucky grabs his hand, lays on top of him and cleans it with his tongue and his mouth while Steve gasps under him, shuddering and trying to get himself together. “It’s wet,” he whispers.
“It’s mine. Daddy gets all of you. You don’t get to decide how you’ll get cleaned up.” Bucky bites Steve’s neck to calm him down, more than a little dismayed at Steve’s reaction. “It’s been a big day. We waited too long for you to release I think. Let’s think about daddy for a little while.”
Bucky presses a finger into Steve’s hot hole and Steve milks his finger hard, clenching tight. “Empty!” He says, grinding back.
“Let’s get you full and wet, sweetheart.”
Bucky presses the applicator of cream into Steve and then eases two fingers in, finds the bump of his prostate and rubs at the area beneath it. His malformed gland. “How are you?” He asks, working Steve’s gland. He’s about to think the cream doesn’t work when Steve moves, straddles Bucky and tries to take Bucky inside him.
“Honey, I need a condom.”
“No, burns. Help me,” he says, trying to sit down.
“Damnit,” Bucky growls and has to shove Steve to the side to reach the condom. He gets it on with zero help from Steve, Steve draped over him, sucking on his neck and mewling with discomfort.
“Go on, sweetheart,” he growls, and Steve sinks down onto him. It’s the first time he’s been so obvious in his own desire and Bucky grips tight to Steve’s chest, thumbing over his sore nipples while Steve shudders and rides him desperately.
“I can’t get it, daddy.”
“Oh, fuck. Pretty baby, you can. Work for it, sweetheart.”
“I’m trying,” he whimpers, and grinds down, lifts part-way up, again and again, his sounds of frustration growing. The head of Bucky’s cock glides over the bump of his malformed gland, the area irritated as it responds to the cream.
His little cocklet is hard, wet at the tip and he hasn’t even noticed. His eyes are closed as he struggles for to soothe the itch or the burn, however he’s perceiving it, and finally Steve pulls himself off Bucky’s cock, ass in the air, trying to get Bucky inside him. “Harder,” Steve mumbles.
Bucky moves, fucks into him and Steve begs him to go harder and deeper. He comes and Steve wails in disappointment.
“It wasn’t inside me. I forgot.” Steve sounds devastated.
“Shh, this is good for you. It’s hard, I know. Poor baby.” He grabs the plug, coats it in cream and eases it inside Steve’s offered ass. Steve collapses to the side, fumbles for the condom, yanking it off Bucky’s cock and takes him in his mouth, clumsy and desperate. He gags and slurps, tongue poking at the slit in his quest to get some come inside him. Bucky slumps down onto the couch, hand on Steve’s hair and the other on his ass cheek.
“I”m gonna spank you, babydoll. We’re gonna make the most of this cream, aren’t we? Let’s try a couple. Just a couple.” Steve is bobbing up and down, wanting Bucky hard again. He spanks the flat siliconed base of the plug, and Steve gasps as he comes up.
“What is it, princess?”
“I know. Can you take another one? Mouth on my cock when you’re ready.”
Steve licks him tentatively, takes the head inside and Bucky spanks him.
“Daddy, I can’t.”
“You can. You are. Pretty baby. I got a clear plug so I could see you clench down. Watch inside you as you milk that plug. Lay down on daddy’s lap so I can spank you and watch.”
Steve moves slowly, not objecting once, his ass so muscular, unblemished, without a hair insight. He settles over Bucky’s lap and instantly grinds his hard little cock into Bucky’s leg.
“Uh uh,” Bucky says, and reaches for the Cocklet Protector. “Back. Let’s get you protected.”
Steve groans and sits back on his ankles. He looks down at his hard cock. “Daddy, it’s hard,” he says, wiping at his damp cheeks. He shifts on the plug. Bucky gets the silicone cup in place, over his cocklet and balls, the material meant to be squishy and protective but not give enough friction to let an omega come. He secures the straps around Steve’s thighs and waist so it avoids the crack of his ass and Steve touches the outside of it, pressing on the hard outer casing.
“It’s gone,” he says, and presses harder.
“It’s to keep you all safe. Good omegas don’t come that way, do they?”
Steve kisses him ardently, pawing absently at the cover.
“No, but… daddy,” he says, pulling on it. It’s almost childlike, his inability to find the right words. He’s pouting and tear-stained, unbelievably beautiful in his frustration and how he expects Bucky to soothe him, to make it better.
“Good boy. You’re too hard, honey. Hands off now. Tits only. Show daddy.”
Steve pinches his nipples and whimpers. “Too sore,” he complains.
“I know. Give daddy your hole now.”
Steve goes back on his lap, sobs as he grinds his protected cocklet into Bucky’s thigh, frustrated at the lack of sensation.
His hole is dark pink and flushed with arousal, smeared white with cream and Bucky can see into the plug, see Steve clenching all over. Bucky holds him still with one hand on his cheek and spanks him gently over the plug.
Steve struggles and Bucky puts a hand on his neck while Steve grinds down hard.
“Give in now. You’re all done fighting.”
Steve surrenders, as if the mere idea was enough to make it happen. Bucky spanks his hole again and Steve is quiet, gaze unfocused. “Tell me when it’s too much, sweetheart. The longer you can take it, the more likely you are to get that hole wet in the long run.”
Steve doesn’t protest. His scent goes sweet, body lax, breathing even. He barely whimpers when Bucky spanks him, far down in his submission. Even his hole stops clenching. If his eyes weren’t open and blinking Bucky would think he was asleep. And then suddenly it’s warm and wet in Bucky’s lap. He’s genuinely confused for a moment. How is it so wet? It’s everywhere, soaking into the towel, under Bucky’s ass, onto the couch.
“Oh, fuck,” he says, stunned. Steve wet himself. Went so deep he wet. This… this has never happened to Bucky before. It’s the sort of thing he’s heard about. He’s seen it in porn, but isn’t the sort of thing he expected to experience in real life. Ever. Steve whimpers and blinks. Starts to push himself up.
“Daddy? What happened.”
“You went deep, sweetheart. Really deep and… your submission peaked.”
“It’s wet. Why is it wet? Did I—“
“Hey, you gave me everything. That’s what happened.” Steve tries to get up but he’s too weak and uncoordinated. If an omega gives in like that, utterly, it’s a sign of the deepest trust. Steve sobs, face buried in his arms.
“It’s gross. I’m sorry, daddy. I’m sorry,” he says, crying hard. The need to mount Steve, to have his omega is pounding through him. An omega that wets should be claimed immediately. Bucky gets them shifted around so Steve is laying down, pressed into the towel and the wet. Bucky takes the plug out, Steve’s hole red and sore from spanking and the hard ride he’d had because of the cream.
“Fuck, you’re gonna need to take it, sweetheart,” he growls and lines his cock up, pressing deep into Steve. “Jesus, that’s hot. Beautiful. Pretty baby. God, you feel so good. You wet, honey?”
He grabs Steve’s hips, slamming deep and Steve sighs in relief, shudders hard as Bucky breeds him. He should pull out, he knows he should but he can’t. Not when Steve just gave him this. It’s too primal. He’s gotta mark him up, has to see his come leaking out of his omega, dripping out of him.
“You were so good. So good daddy marked you up inside.”
“Feels better,” he mumbles.
He pulls out and Steve’s hole clenches, a blob spilling out.
“No, I don’t think so,” Bucky chuckles, hand on his cock as he fucks it back inside. Steve whimpers, clenching on Bucky needily.
He takes Steve to the shower, washes him off while Steve sobs and clings to him, embarrassed. Bucky washes his omega’s leaking hole.
“Daddy wasn’t very good, was he?”
“What do you mean?” Steve asks, voice rough from crying.
“I was not intending to mount you. And I was certainly not supposed to breed you. We’d gone to all that work with the cream and the spanking and the plug and I got so carried away, you made me want you so much, I couldn’t help it.”
Steve sniffles. “I wet.”
“I didn’t like it. I don’t want to do it again.”
“We’ll see, honey. It was very special and rare. So, I don’t think you have to be too worried. But, I’ll be very pleased with you if it happens.”
He gets Steve out of the shower and leads him to the kitchen, has him sit on his dining pillow while swaddled and in a robe. He has him drink juice while he cleans up the mess quickly, washes his hands and gets a snack out. He feeds Steve but he’s so tired he’s almost asleep against Bucky’s thigh. He gets him ready for bed, tucks him in, has to apply more cream and a night plug, which makes Steve shiver and whimper.
“Pillow,” he mumbles and Bucky gets Steve’s pillow, watches him fall asleep and goes back out to the living room to clean up the living room more thoroughly.
Now he’ll find out how good that stain resistant couch really is.
He wakes up to Steve grinding into the bed, pressing his cocklet into the mattress, trying to come.
“Stop,” Bucky orders.
Steve sobs and presses close to Bucky. Bucky fumbles on the nightstand, gets Steve’s cocklet protector and secures it on him. He’d had to take it off of him after Steve had wet, and he’d been soft when he went to bed, but the cream is definitely affecting him.
He can make Steve out in the dark, had left the bathroom light on and the door cracked just in case. There’s so much unpredictability with Steve, so many possibilities for him to react badly and quickly, and even the few seconds it takes to turn on the light is more than he’s willing to risk at this point.
“I’m sorry, daddy,” he whispers, kissing Bucky’s chest.
“I know. It’s okay. I shouldn’t have taken your protector off. It’s daddy’s fault.” He doesn’t tell Steve that he’d soaked it thoroughly and Bucky’d had to wash it, because the wetting is a sensitive subject and his omega is under enough strain. “You went soft, honey. I didn’t think you’d need it. That was my mistake. Distressing, isn’t it? Waking up hard and hurting.”
Steve whimpers and nuzzles into Bucky’s neck, but he can feel Steve’s hand pressing against the protector, trying to rub himself through it. Does he think Bucky can’t tell or is he so aroused he can’t help himself?
“Sweetheart, I know you’re frustrated and unsettled, but that’s not going to make it any easier. You can’t have it, honey. Let’s just take that hand away. ”
Steve doesn’t listen and Bucky has to push him back to the bed, lift his hand away and pin it above him. Steve sobs, trying to rub against Bucky’s hip, drag him closer by wrapping his leg around Bucky. Steve raises his head, kisses him, clumsy and with a whimper that goes straight to Bucky’s dick. Steve is trembling with how aroused he is and Bucky strokes his fingers over Steve’s nipple, cock throbbing when Steve’s hips jerk in response.
“Shh, you’re really struggling, aren’t you, princess?”
“Daddy! Daddy it’s difficult,” he sobs. Bucky gets a good grip on his boy’s ass, the clench of his cheek indicative of just how hard he’s trying to work the plug buried inside him. His palm presses flat and Steve grinds back into him, Steve’s hand leaving the pillow, pressing against Bucky’s, urging him to press harder.
“How hard, sweetheart?” He asks, kissing his lips and then his jaw. “Show daddy what you like,” he murmurs, more than a little obsessed with the idea of Steve being so needy he overcomes his embarrassment. Steve will never be uninhibited but Bucky would like for Steve to at least be able to let Bucky know what he wants. Just a secret between them.
“Daddy,” he sobs, and Bucky lets him touch, takes his hand away and sets it over Steve’s so he can get an idea of what Steve likes.
“That’s too hard, honey. You have to be nice to that pretty hole. You don’t want your rim to get all swollen and sore. Not when your heat is so close and you’re going to be spanked and needing. Gentle, baby. I need you to try.”
“But, it’s not deep enough. It’s close but it’s not… daddy, you need to breed me. Bare. You need it so much, daddy.”
“Thigh up, let’s work that pretty gland and see where we wind up.”
“You say everything is pretty,” Steve grumbles. He’s tight against Bucky’s side, covered with a light sheen of sweat, absolutely boiling and his scent alluring. His heat is closing in. Probably tomorrow, Bucky thinks. Steve can’t find a good position for his cocklet, pressing it above Bucky’s hip, his anxiety rising.
“Give up on that,” Bucky says, firmly. “You can present if you want to, but you’re done fixating on that little cocklet. That’s daddy’s. You don’t touch it unless I say you can, sweetheart. Not when it’s hard.”
“No, want to kiss you,” Steve complains, gets his lips on Bucky’s neck, soothing himself by sucking on his skin, but his hips won’t stop rocking, trying to get friction on his cocklet. There’s a hint of teeth on Bucky’s neck and Steve hauls in a noisy breath. His anxiety is getting worse.
“If you can’t settle then you tell me and I’ll help you.”
“I need help,” he says, instantly.
“Struggle and give in then. Go on. A tiny struggle and surrender for daddy. It’s okay,” Bucky says, rubbing Steve’s tense back.
“Daddy,” he whimpers, but shivers hard and with a soft growl he presses frantically into Bucky, humping at him, as he sucks on Bucky’s neck. He’s thrusting, gets himself over Bucky and grinds down into him and then cries out in frustration, hand shoving between them as Steve jiggles and fumbles at the protector.
He’s out of control. Anxiety peaking, crying out when Bucky decides it’s enough. That he should be forced to submit and remember who he is and where he belongs. Steve needs the contrast. He’s too out of it and the little orders and gentleness isn’t getting through.
Bucky gets a hand fisted in his hair, drags his head to the side.
He spanks Steve’s hole, directly over the plug and then bites his neck, bites hard into the flesh, surprised at how long it takes for Steve to finally go lax and slump onto Bucky’s chest. “Goodness, what a state you’re in,” Bucky murmurs, touching him all over. His own cock is unbearably hard now. He loves watching his baby struggle and give in. He cuddles Steve closer, wanting to anchor in the idea that fighting and giving in are normal. That he gets bred and mounted after he struggles. Rewarded. Steve doesn’t have to be completely submissive every moment of the day. He can still fight and everything will be okay. He can be naughty and Bucky will still want him.
Steve cries for a few minutes and Bucky knows that if he took off the protector Steve’s cocklet would be wet and very dark with frustrated lust. “You’re so good, sweetheart,” he says, again and again, waiting for Steve to come back to him.
“What is it, princess?”
He doesn’t answer quickly. “I hate how much I want to touch it.”
“It’s the cream, sweetheart. Soon you won’t want to do that anymore.”
“It’s just… I wanna touch it,” he says. “And it is unusual, it doesn’t happen, ever, so why can’t I? Maybe just once?”
“You want to come like an alpha?”
“No, I… daddy. You like it and I… I like giving it to you, so maybe you should like giving that to me? Why can I touch it when it’s soft, but not when it’s hard?”
“It isn’t about that, honey. If I could let you do it, I would. But, that’s not for omegas for a reason. Alphas come and omegas release. You’re not built for it, sweetheart. Cocklets are too little. You’ll get come backed up in your balls and it will hurt. It will ache and bruise inside.”
“I could… but I’m a super soldier. I can come,” he pleads. “I won’t bruise and if I do it won’t be for long.”
“Stevie. An orgasm is a lot of sensation. I know you’re anxious and overly excited but it’s just too much feeling for one as dainty as you are. You panic and get stressed out when you release. That’s a gentle pleasure and even that seems to be too much for you. I can’t allow it. I’m sorry. It would just be too frightening, sweetheart. Daddy wouldn’t be taking care of you properly if he let you come like an alpha.”
Steve nods into his neck, clutching him closer. There’s a hitched sob as Steve accepts that it isn’t happening.
“Good boy. All done with that idea now. I think we need to focus on something else. Get you some fingers in that hole and stroking you sweetly. You should release. Maybe a reminder of how that makes you feel will help?”
“No, I don’t need to release,” he says, and whimpers quietly.
Bucky chuckles. “Then why would you come when that’s like a release but amplified?”
“I don’t know,” he finally says.
“I think my good boy is touch starved. And your pretty little hole is very touch-starved. And this cream gets you all riled up inside, and you don’t know what to do. Isn’t that right, baby? Your pretty little pussy doesn’t know what to do with all this want.”
“Maybe, daddy. It’s… it’s confusing,” he says, and sighs.
Bucky grips him tight by the back of the neck, rubbing his thumb into the bite.
“What do I do?” Steve shivers.
“What do you think?”
His answer takes a long time.
“Neck… daddy… stop. Can’t think,” he murmurs.
“What do you do when you have a needy pussy? You know.”
“Give— give it to daddy?”
“That’s right. Daddy will take care of your needy pussy. Daddy knows what you need.”
Steve is quiet then, relaxes as that message gets through to him. He’d give anything to know what Steve was thinking, especially now, when he’s lax and content. Bucky eases the plug out of him and sets it on the little towel he’d put out before going to bed. There’s a moment of indecision. Should he just give Steve some cream on his fingers or give him the full dose with the syringe?
“Daddy?” Steve whispers.
“Do I get come?”
“Not in your bottom, but you can have it in your mouth.”
“Do you… do you need my slick like I need your come?”
“It’s a bit different because you release. Daddy gets that. If you don’t ever get slick, I won’t mind.”
“No, I mean…if I got slick… back there, you’d like that? The magazines make it seem like a good thing. It’s in all the pages, daddy. Maybe I’m not a real omega if I don’t get slick?”
“You are a real omega. Daddy doesn’t leak enough to get you wet, either. Does that mean I’m not your alpha?”
Steve sobs. “You are my alpha.”
“I know, sweetheart. And you’re my omega.” He kisses him on the forehead and grabs the syringe. The cream is a temporary problem. Steve’s doubt over how good he is as an omega will be lifelong if they can’t get the gland functional. Bucky has to be strong enough to do this properly, even if it does break his heart to put Steve through this much discomfort.
“You’re gonna get another dose of medicine, sweetheart. I know it’s difficult and you’re doing such a good job. I’m proud of you.”
Bucky untangles himself from Steve’s octopus-like grip, getting him to hold onto his alpha shaped pillow instead and turns on the light.
“Present for daddy,” he orders, and Steve lifts his bottom into the air. His hole is open from the plug. He’s very red and swollen. Bucky wishes he could come in Steve, because he’d find it soothing and it’s obvious that this is taking a toll on him. He inserts the syringe and fills him up with cream.
Steve whimpers and buries his face in the pillow. Bucky gets a condom on so he’s prepared, puts a little cream on his fingers for lube and slides two fingers easily into Steve’s hole.
“Oh sweetheart. You’re getting really sore, aren’t you?” He touches the gland with his fingertips, steadying Steve with one hand so he doesn’t press too hard, and Steve whimpers. Bucky’s positive he can feel the difference already. In fact, it’s dramatic, the nub of a gland not as hard or small as it was. It’s already changing, forming properly, likely something to do with being a super-soldier and the healing affects of the serum. It reaffirms the decision to keep Steve as swollen and soaked with medicine as he can. If he can already feel a change like this then who knows, maybe they can get the gland fully functional?
God, Steve would get so wet then. As submissive as he is? Soaked. It would be good for Steve. And Bucky can already imagine how sweet and difficult it would be for his omega to get soaked and needy for his daddy. His omega side would be satisfied. His submissive side would love how much Bucky got off on it. The rational part of Steve might be mortified, might even get overwhelmed sometimes, but Bucky could cuddle him and swaddle him if it got too bad. Plug him if he leaked too much throughout the day.
It would make his omega content.
He’d tend to Steve personally if that happened, imagines Steve coming to his office at lunch time, getting bent over the desk as the plug is removed and he gets tidied up, filled up with come and replugged for the afternoon.
Bucky works him for long minutes, Steve slowly coming back to himself and participating. He humps back against the fingers, hole opening and swallowing, clutching at Bucky’s fingers, and then there’s frustration and sobbing and Bucky has to get him turned so he can suck on Bucky’s cock while the fingering continues. Steve sucks on him aggressively, desperate for come, pleased when Steve swallows him down eagerly.
That calms him, settles him down so much he’s almost asleep, his hole open and no longer clenching, his scent sweet again. His hole is very swollen and sore but there’s a bit of a gape, just a little, from being plugged and aroused for so long, fucked and fingered and now he’s got his heat coming on.
“What a good boy you are for me. Pretty princess. Do you feel better now?”
“Empty,” He murmurs, before Bucky’s fingers are even out.
“Plug goes back inside,” he says, and Steve sighs in relief. “Good boy. You’re doing so well, baby.”
“I… I want to be wet for you, daddy. Even if it’s gross,” Steve says, exhaustion slurring his words.
“I think you will, angel. But, you’re perfect either way.”
There is news! I'm pretty sure there will be a short story for Christmas. The topic- Steve's Tits. Two words that say so much. Hope everyone is going to have a decent xmas. Stay safe my friends!
Last chapter friends!
If someone had told Bucky he would dread Steve going into heat, he wouldn’t have believed them. But that was before two days of relentlessly working Steve’s glands. After the first 24 hours the experience shifted from really hot but intense and exhausting to something like a siege where the troops had been at it for too long.
They both need a break.
Bucky has to keep reminding them both of the objective- a functioning gland. And why it’s wanted- so Steve feels like a proper omega. The acts of spank, fill and plug are being carried out with a determined sort of tunnel vision now. And Steve’s need for come isn’t helping. He wants to feel Bucky inside him, needs to be wet for his daddy. He doesn’t just ask for it, he begs. He’s sobbed more than once and Bucky finds it nearly impossible to resist him.
Steve feels inadequate, needs constant reassurance that he’s good even though he can’t feel Bucky inside him. If Bucky came in him, he’d settle. The substitutions are not working.
Between Steve’s frantic sucking, nursing and desperation to be bred, Bucky is also ready for a break. Just eight hours. Or ten. A solid ten hour sleep and they’d both be so much better off.
And Steve’s heat hasn’t even hit yet. It’s his first, which makes it even more unpredictable. It’s either going to be drawn out or very short. If Steve’s body tries to make up for lost time then it might be days. If it’s in any way normal, it will be light. An afternoon. Maybe twelve hours.
That would be best for Steve. Introduce him to the idea and not have it be too stressful. There will already be fall out from how needy Steve has been, the wanton way he’s begged for come that will likely embarrass him later.
Bucky’s stomach rumbles. He’s dehydrated. It’s six am. He wants coffee, and he wants breakfast. Ideally, it’ll be half a dozen eggs and a pound of bacon for each of them after all the calories they’ve been burning.
But, he has to get out of the bed first. If Steve can sleep longer than Bucky wants to let him. He just needs to get out from behind him. He reaches carefully over Steve and drags the alpha pillow close.
Steve’s nostrils flare and he grabs it, hauling it close, burying his nose in Bucky’s shirt. That shirt is definitely come stained. He’d tried to switch it out and Steve hadn’t let him. He’s almost positive Steve is settled in near some dried come. Considering what all they’ve been getting up to, Steve would have to be. Bucky’s been coming on his face and his chest, his genitals or in his mouth, all of it a poor substitute for where his omega actually needs it. Steve will get Bucky’s come, swallow or rub it in and settle temporarily, pulling the pillow closer for more self-soothing. So, yes, he must have his face near or in dried come because there’s just been too much of it.
When this is all over he wonders if Steve will be revolted by how animalistic he behaved. Most likely. Bucky will need to reassure him and make sure the message gets through so he can get used to his urges.
He slips out of bed, takes a shower and has a cup of coffee. He’s just finishing cooking when Steve comes out wearing a towel, also freshly showered.
“I didn’t know you were up,” Bucky says, pouring him a mug.
Steve is flushed from the shower, his nipples pink and prominent from all the attention they’ve been getting and his encroaching heat. His neck is flushed and the area where his mating bite is looks a little swollen. But, he’s clear eyed and calm.
His independence and calmness are a relief.
There’s a container of orange juice out and Steve drains a glass before saying a word. “I wish I hadn’t just brushed my teeth but it was good anyway.” He refills the glass with water, draining it and then reaches for a piece of bacon. He eats it in two bites, trying to move into Bucky for a hug at the same time but then frowns and goes back to the bacon.
“Let’s eat,” Bucky says, and they carry their plates to the table. Steve sits next to him, angled close, hand on Bucky’s thigh but otherwise very independent.
“Do you need a cushion, sweetheart?”
“No, I’m fine,” he says, blushing. “I don’t… I don’t have the plug in. I showered and cleaned it and it’s… it didn’t seem right to put it back in myself.”
“Is that daddy’s job?”
“Bucky,” he says, repressively. His cheeks are pink and it goes all the way down to his nipples he’s so embarrassed. Bucky refuses to get sidetracked. Is breakfast too much to ask for?
“You can be shy but not that shy.”
“Why not?” Steve asks, quietly, staring at his plate.
“Because you have to be able to assert yourself. I need to know I can trust you to tell me if your wants and needs aren’t being met. Omegas can get confused, sweetheart. If you feel shy and don’t tell me something, let it fester and grow, it can become fear. You’ll feel afraid to say and you won’t know why and then we have a problem. And you spiral into a negative space much too quickly, so fast that we have to be vigilant, sweetheart. For your safety. If you need daddy to plug you up so you feel good then we do that.”
“Okay,” he says, and eats food. There’s something stiff and slightly distant about Steve and Bucky’s instincts are telling him they need to talk about this more, that it isn’t this easy. What is easy with his boy?
“How about ‘yes, daddy.’” Bucky orders, rubbing a hand up and down Steve’s back so he doesn’t think Bucky is upset.
Steve eats slowly. Swallows. “Yes, daddy.” His hand squeezes on Bucky’s thigh.
“Was that difficult?”
“I don’t want it to be,” he says. Which isn’t an answer.
“You’ve had a lot of time to train yourself into doing things a certain way so you don’t get hurt. It’s not bad. I’m not angry. It’s something to work through. You must always say daddy. We have to keep it easy. This is your task and I expect you to do it, understand?”
“Yes, daddy,” he says, and leans close, blinking quickly as he presses against Bucky and breathes him in.
“Is that a relief, honey? If I expect it of you?”
He nods into Bucky’s shoulder and then sits back, wipes at his eye and eats some more food.
“Good boy. That makes me happy. Now then, do you hurt too much or can you wait til after breakfast for your plug?”
Steve shakes his head in denial. “Hurt? I wouldn’t describe it that way, daddy.”
“How would you describe it?”
Steve eats another bite of eggs. He might be stalling for time. “Maybe just… not full.”
“Empty?” Bucky prompts.
“I…. Yes. Daddy.”
“If something is empty doesn’t it imply that it needs to be filled?”
“Yes, but there are worse things that do actually hurt. Not feeling empty and wanting something to be inside. Just… silicone. That’s not actual hurt.”
“What is then? What qualifies?”
“Broken bones,” he says. He shrugs. “That’s real hurt, daddy.”
“If you had to choose a broken bone or no daddy for 24 hours what would you choose?”
“But, I’m not like most people, broken bones don’t bother me.”
“What does bother you?” Bucky asks, unwilling to let it go.
Steve sighs, puts his fork down. “I understand the point you’re making, but I’m already demanding. Your life is in upheaval and everything revolves around me being a needy omega. Why normalize it more? If not having you plug me in the morning is harm then where does it stop? It’s just being practical, you should be relieved I don’t want to put that on you.”
“I’m not relieved. You don’t get to think and make decisions when it comes to how needy you are. You don’t know. I do. You offer it up to me and if it’s too much then we talk about it or I will guide you to a solution. But you can’t be the one who decides. All that does is create more problems for me in the future. ”
Steve is quiet for longer than Bucky expects.
“I’m sorry but no, daddy. Don’t you want to eat breakfast in peace? Don’t you want an hour to yourself without worrying about me or having to deal with my… bottom?”
“Let’s pretend you’re right. How long should daddy get to not worry about your pussy?”
Steve glances at him and then away. His cheeks going pink at the word pussy. “More than an hour, daddy.”
“Two hours? Three? A day? Just at night?”
“Maybe,” he says. “That’s a good goal.”
“A goal? That isn’t a goal. Dragging out and depriving you for longer than you want is not a goal. It’s dangerous. Steve, are you aware that the law expects you to go to work with me? The doctor has classified you as traumatized. That means you’ll be with me all the time. It will be normal for me to cancel meetings to settle you down. That is what’s expected.”
“That can’t be right. I don’t want to interrupt your work.”
“You are more important to me than my work. You are very special and you have needs that can’t be ignored. Even the law knows it. We won’t be going entire days without your bottom being seen to. We won’t skip or put your needs off. And they aren’t just your needs. Seeing to you makes me content. I can tell when you’re content. It’s in your scent and how you open, how receptive you are, how in tune you are to my needs. If you deny what you need it will unsettle me. Do you want to cause me distress?”
“Of course not! Daddy, I don’t.”
“I know, princess. So, you tell me. You make me proud by being very honest with your daddy and trusting that I’ll meet all of your needs. Let’s try again. Do you hurt?”
Steve’s shoulders hike up, shy about it. “I can wait, daddy. We’re almost done. Maybe… maybe if we stop the hurting before cleaning the kitchen? That’s only a few minutes, daddy. I promise that’s okay.”
Bucky takes a bite of his food, figures that’s a good enough resolution for now. They’ll have to work on it. “We’ll see to it as soon as we’re finished. Because you’re hurting but it’s not too bad, is that right?”
“Yes, daddy. That’s right. It’s… inside it feels empty and it’s lonely but I know you’re here and that it won’t be much longer.”
“Good boy,” he says, and means it. Bucky eats. Steve puts his fork down a moment later.
“I don’t actually feel all that well,” he says, and the tears slip down his cheeks. “I promise I did. It’s just really hot and I’m dizzy now.”
He starts to stand up and lists to the side. Bucky grabs him, stopping him from going down to the floor. Steve whimpers. His skin is boiling. Bucky helps him to the bedroom. Steve goes straight down to the bed and gets his ass into the air. His fingers are pressing inside, unable to wait at all. He makes a desperate and lost little sound, harsher than a whimper and one an alpha is unable to ignore. It means an omega is in distress.
Steve has gone into heat.
Bucky gets him full of lubricant and tries to feel for his gland but Steve’s so swollen inside he can’t find it. And Steve is furious at the idea of fingers. He wants Bucky’s cock, demands his come.
“It’s over, daddy. Isn’t it? Do I get it now? It’s hot, daddy.”
“Yeah, sweetheart. You’ll get it now. All done with that. No more mean cream, no more spankings and you get all the come you want.”
Happily, the breeding isn’t all that different than it usually is. Steve is needy and impatient. He isn’t all that helpful and he’s lethargic, expects Bucky to breed him while he’s receptive and still.
He needs it badly, pulling on his soft cock and releasing heavily while Bucky gets inside him. It’s for the best that he’s so passive. He’s much too swollen and sore as it is. Steve needs gentleness.
“I know, princess. You’re really tight, honey. I’m being careful with my good boy.”
“You… I feel you leaking. It’s good, daddy,” he says, sniffling. He’s quiet after that, his passage molten and clenching too tight in a quest to get the relief Bucky’s come will give him.
Bucky comes, Steve’s passage rippling and squeezing so intensely that Bucky is pushed out fairly quickly, his come staying tucked in Steve’s hole. Steve goes straight to sleep then, cheeks flushed a vibrant pink. Literal heat then. It affects all omegas a little differently. Bucky takes his temperature, finds him fevered and puts a cool cloth over him to make him more comfortable. He turns the air conditioning on and leaves Steve to sleep.
Steve’s heat lasts three hours and it’s a fucking relief that Steve sleeps through it. The fever breaks and his hole releases Bucky’s come as the swelling goes down, a sign that it’s over.
Steve wakes up and Bucky has juice and fruit for him, helps him take a shower and gets him back to bed. Steve curls into him, quiet and almost scared. His pupils are blown and he’s clutching Bucky to him.
“What happened, daddy?”
“You went into heat, sweetheart.”
“Is it over?”
“It is. A light heat.”
“Did I… was I a slut?”
Bucky chuckles and pulls him close. “No, you were actually really quiet. You got come and you passed out. You had a fever and you released a hell of a lot, but that was it. Then it was over. All done. It was only a few hours.”
“Is that too short?”
“No, that’s what your body needed.”
“Am I… could I be pregnant? When it was so short and you only came in me once?”
“No, sweetheart. You have to be regular first.”
Steve breathes him in.
“Maybe in a year, if that was something you wanted, we could see if you were ovulating. Your body just isn’t ready yet. That’s why it was over so quickly. You did get a shot to prevent conception at the doctor. Do you not remember?”
He shakes his head. “No, daddy. I don’t remember.”
“Well, it’s incredibly rare to conceive so quickly but it can happen. But omegas get a shot before heat and it prevents pregnancy, just in case. You don’t have to worry.”
Steve is quiet for a moment. Then he sniffles. Bucky grabs him a tissue. “Is it bad that I wanted a baby?”
“No, it’s not bad. See if you still feel that way in a couple of days.”
“You don’t think I will?” Steve asks, a little defensive.
“I don’t know. But most omegas get a little sad when it’s over and they know they don’t get a baby. It usually goes away, sweetheart. You’ll have to let me know. ”
“I can do that, daddy.”
Bucky goes into work for a meeting with Fury three days later while Natasha comes over to hang out. She brings her omega Clint with her, and they spend the entire time talking about their alphas, what it’s like to be a male omega, and what an absolute slut Jasper Sitwell is.
They decide to get together regularly.
A week after that, they go back to work and Steve isn’t sure what to expect. He’s a submissive omega and SHIELD knows. It was a big deal and Steve is relieved Bucky dealt with it. He’s no longer Captain America and he feels guilty that it’s a relief, but he’s started having nightmares, people he knew and lost, horrible things he saw during the war. PTSD. He wakes up crying or needing his daddy to grip and be inside him, and the idea of picking up the shield and engaging in more violence is beyond him.
Bucky says it’s very traumatizing for a submissive omega to do what he did and go to war.
“That’s why you need your daddy so much right now, sweetheart. You’ve gotta work through it.”
“What if it doesn’t get better?”
“It will, baby. I promise,” he says.
Steve starts going to a traumatized omega support group. It does get better.
The amount he’s going to be getting for his pension is astonishing and is frankly a relief, because the idea of Bucky going to work and dealing with omegas and alphas in such an intimate way is beyond what he can handle.
Fury brings Jasper in and Bucky spends the next month training him but it’s clear he isn’t suited for the role. The department gets bigger and they hire a beta friend of Bucky’s named Sam to do the hands on work while Bucky takes over a big picture approach to reorganizing SHIELD. Bucky enjoys it and it means he gets a different office. There’s no stream, but Bucky doesn’t seem to care. He’s happy no one wanders into his office or wants to eat lunch there. Plus, his office has a lock.
Because Steve is frequently mounted at work. He’s now the omega with damp pants.
Clint talks him into writing about his experiences growing up and what it’s like to discover he’s an omega later in life. It’s just meant to be a little piece about why he’s giving up the shield but he gets offered to write a magazine column in Back There and he says yes. He’ll be their submissive omega contributor at large and write about his life. It’s called Letters from the Back. Steve isn’t sure about the title but he enjoys it and Bucky is proud of him. It gives him something to do while Bucky is working.
Steve typically goes to the gym with Clint, spars with Natasha and spends the rest of the day with Bucky in his office.
Bucky’d checked to make sure his gland was gone and had warned him that his body would start getting wet and Steve has been dreading it. He’s glad he won’t need as much lube and he knows Bucky is very excited about him getting wet, but the idea of it is upsetting.
He’s terrified it’s going to happen at work. Bucky has started leaving him messy to get him used to the idea. He doesn’t get to leave the house now without his daddy coming inside him first.
And every lunch time he gets more come. Bucky will lock his door and sit down in his chair and Steve has a hand on his cocklet even before the lock clicks. By lunchtime he always needs it badly. Bucky will take his cock out and he’s always hard, which is good because somedays Steve thinks he’d start weeping if he had to wait for Bucky to get aroused.
Bucky will slick his cock up and Steve sits straight down, taking him inside with ease while his daddy grips his cocklet. He likes to ride Bucky but he likes it even more when Bucky growls and pushes him down onto the desk so he can use him hard enough for Steve to feel it for a few hours.
Bucky will come in him, pull up Steve’s panties and press his fingers between Steve’s cheeks, rubbing the come all over so he’s damp and soaked. The first few days were very difficult and he had to hide under Bucky’s desk for the afternoon, nursing his cock until it was time to go home. But now he’s okay. He’s wet and he can chat with people and as long as no one sees it he’s fine.
He gets wet a week after they get back. He’d gone to the gym and then to take a shower, started thinking about his alpha as he cleaned himself and hurried back to Bucky’s office so he could get mounted early, when his pants were suddenly wet. He fumbles for his phone, stops the elevator in case someone gets on and fortunately Bucky picks up the phone on the first ring.
“What is it, sweetheart?” He asks, concerned.
“Daddy, I’m wet.”
“Where are you, good boy?”
“In the elevator. I was coming back to you. It’s wet, daddy.”
“I’ll meet you. I’m on my way. Do you want to stay on the phone?”
“Pretty baby. I’m waiting for you,” he says, and Steve gets the elevator going again. The doors open and Bucky looks him up and down. He’s hard and big in his pants which is a relief. Bucky puts an arm around him, leads him to his office and locks the door.
Steve bursts into tears. Bucky gets him to the couch, pants down and has his face buried between Steve’s cheeks before Steve can catch a breath.
“You are, honey. You’re so wet for daddy,” he moans, tongue pressing inside Steve.
“You smell so good and you taste perfect, baby. I’m so proud of you.”
“I… is it very wet?”
“What do you think?” Bucky asks.
“Daddy, I’m really wet.”
Bucky pulls back, wipes his mouth with his arm and gets his cock out. He’s pressing into Steve and groaning almost instantly. “Fuck, that’s so much better than lube. Oh, honey.”
Steve sobs. “Daddy? You like it?”
“So good, sweetheart.” He pulls out and slides back in easy. There’s a squelching sound and Steve sobs again, pulls the pillow closer.
Bucky hauls him up, grabs his cocklet firmly and mouths Steve’s neck.
“Daddy, no! It’s wetter now,” he complains, feels it dripping down his thigh as Bucky sucks on his claiming scar. He fills Steve up with come but doesn’t stop, keeps working away inside of him, unable to stop he’s so overcome with lust.
“You’re so good. You’re perfect. Honey, you’ve got the wettest pussy. I didn’t even know you’d get this wet. We’ll get you different panties, baby. More absorbent.”
Which is good. Steve always likes a trip to McLeod’s.