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Go The F*** To Sleep, Steve Kornacki!

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Step away from the big board and breathe, Steve.
You’ve been working so hard on that map.
I think it’s past time for some sleep, my friend.
Have a break. Go lay down. Take a nap.

You're swaying on your feet in the studio.
You are certainly risking a mishap.
When did you last rest or eat, buddy?
What?! You need to have a fucking nap!

Hand over your clipboard this instant.
Yes, I’ll take good care of it, you sap.
Next, give me your pens. No, all of them.
Lie down, close your eyes, and fucking nap.

I know the election’s important, Steve.
And the outcome could change in a snap.
Passing out on-air won’t help, you know
Please at least catnap.

I swapped your last venti with decaf, Map Daddy
Have some soup. No it’s not a trap.
Sit down, here’s a spoon, please eat something.
Then go the fuck down for a nap.

Your tie’s fallen into the soup bowl, Steve.
You’re really dragging, old chap.
This schedule’s catching up with all of us.
It’s time to take a fucking nap.

I’ll have a large Diet Coke on standby,
To accompany you while you recap.
When you awaken, I’ll give it to you.
Until then, please have a fucking nap.

Did you pack a change of clothes, Steve?
No? Well I’ll send an intern to the Gap.
You’re still insisting on khakis and a button down?
Fine. Whatever. Fucking nap.

Go lie down in the break room
What’s that sound? Are you checking a politics app?
Hand it over right this instant, Steve
Get on that couch and take a nap.

Yes, I removed the Keurig.
There’ll only be water from the tap.
No more running on caffeine and stubbornness, Steve
Give in and take a fucking nap.

Are you smuggling in a calculator, Steve?
I swear, I could give you a slap.
Put your work down for an hour or two
And just have a fucking nap.

If you must, dream of numbers and spreadsheets
Or trends and pathways and crap.
It’ll all still be waiting when you arise.
For now, just take a fucking nap.

Don’t make me take extreme measures, Steve.
I’ll call the plan Operation: Kidnap.
Your fans will certainly mourn their lost “chartthrob”
So please just have a fucking nap.

It’s been less than an hour, Steve
Are you sure that sleep’s a wrap?
Alright, fine, but I’ll be back this afternoon
For Part Two: Revenge of the Nap.