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When you open up your tired eyes

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It's dark out by the time Steve finds Danny in Meka's kitchen to say he's going home. Danny looks up from where he's been washing dishes, uniform sleeves pushed up, elbow-deep in soapy water.

"Oh. Okay."

"You want me to stay? I just thought you and Amy might want a bit more time on your own. Everyone else is pretty much gone."

Danny shakes his head, grabbing a towel and drying his hands off, tugging his sleeves back down again. He's still dripping water on the floor and his shoes, but he's too exhausted to really care.

"You don't have to stay. I was just -- she's got enough to deal with, you know? Figured she didn't need to add clearing up after the entire Honolulu Police Department to that."

Steve gives him a half smile as he steps closer, hat tucked under one arm, the rest of his Navy blues still looking immaculate. Danny can't stop himself dry-swallowing.

"Want me to walk you home?"

"I live less than a block away, Steve. I think I can make it."

Steve reaches out, squeezes Danny's arm gently. His hand is warm even through the thick cotton of Danny's uniform. He swallows again, keeping his eyes fixed on the knot of Steve's tie, not trusting himself to look up into Steve's eyes.

"I know; that wasn't what I was implying."

Danny lets out a somewhat ragged breath, dragging a hand through his already messy hair. It's been such a long fucking day. If he's honest, the thought of going back to his shitty apartment on his own is possibly the least attractive prospect he could imagine right now. The second least being admitting that out loud.

"Come on."

Steve squeezes his arm again before his hand falls back to his side, and the loss of warmth is almost as bad as if someone had thrown a bucket of ice water over him. He shivers, watching Steve pull the keys to his truck out of his pocket, spinning them around his finger as he walks slowly to the door, head turned just enough to watch over his shoulder, make sure Danny's following. Danny takes a deep breath and mentally picks himself up as much as he can; straightening his shoulders out before he walks out into the living room.

Amy's asleep on the sofa when they get there, and Danny stops to cover her with a blanket from another chair. She murmurs, eyes opening just long enough to recognize Danny and smile, holding his fingers for a second when he pats her hand, before falling asleep again. Danny doesn't say anything.

"Steve, I just said I only live around the corner, you don't need to drive."

"Yeah, we're going to my place."

"What? I don't get a say in this?"

It's a weak protest and they both know it. Danny sighs, crossing the front yard and climbing up into Steve's truck. There's enough space in the cab for him to bring his knees up to his chest and curl up into a ball if he was feeling especially pathetic but he resists for now, settling for slumping down and loosening his tie and undoing a few of the buttons on his dress jacket. He hates wearing it, even if he's proud of his home department, but there are only so many occasions that a detective has reason for wearing it, and even his wedding day has bittersweet memories associated with it now.

He can feel Steve's eyes on the side of his face but he doesn't turn and acknowledge him, just closes his eyes and rests his head against the window. Steve's hand lands on his knee, squeezing in the same way he had Danny's arm earlier, then it's gone and they're on their way.

Danny's not sure how he manages to doze off, but he's jolted awake when the truck stops. They're in the parking lot of the 7-11 down the block from Steve's place when he blinks his eyes open.

"Just gonna grab some beer."

"Sure, babe. Whatever."

Danny scrubs a hand over his face and sits up straighter, watching Steve stride across the lot and into the store, still in full uniform, minus the hat which is sitting on the dash in front of Danny. Danny picks it up, running his fingers over the gold braiding a few times before he replaces it. He drums on his knees for a second, feeling antsy now after his impromptu nap. He takes the keys out of the ignition and hops down out of the truck, shoving his hands in his pockets as he strolls into the store to find Steve.

He's not hard to spot, looming above the shelves, shiny buttons and medals glinting in the fluorescent light. Danny makes his way over, grabbing a bag of candy on his way, waving it at Steve when he gets close enough.


"Don't knock Goobers, McGarrett."

"I wasn't knocking them; I just didn't know we were having a movie night."

"They were the first thing my hand landed on, okay? And they happen to be a pretty tasty snack so just pick up the damn Longboards and let's go."

He thrusts the bag into Steve's chest, and he really can't deal with that face right now, the one that's halfway between Puppy Dog Number Five ('I hid under your porch because I love you' - he has Grace to thank for that one, making him watch Up a hundred times) and Smug Smirk Number Two ('I'm letting this one slide, but I will mock you at the next opportunity').


Danny's drops his gaze again pretty quickly, watching Steve's hands instead as he grabs the case of beer and the Goobers, and heads to the register. Danny hangs a little way back, fingers twitching nervously as he casts his eyes over the cigarettes. He hasn't smoked since the day Rachel told him they were going to be parents, but that doesn't stop him craving one every now and then, especially times like this. He sighs, scuffing a shoe along the floor and looking down at the tiles.

"You okay?"

"Fine. Let's just get going before I do something stupid."

Steve's brow creases, looking confused.

"Cigarettes. Come on."


They get back to Steve's truck, beer and candy settled on the back seat, and the rest of the drive to Steve's house is silent apart from the growl of the engine and the noise of the road under the tires. Danny's grateful that Steve doesn't attempt conversation, or turn some God-awful music on to try and get Danny riled up. He's too tired, too drained, too everything, and Steve apparently respects that for once.

Steve indicates the couch when they get inside, but Danny shakes his head, moving through Steve's house and heading outside instead. Might as well embrace the warm Hawaiian night for what it is, and the sound of the ocean crashing onto the waves is admittedly very soothing to Danny's ears right about now.

They settle on the lanai, shrugging off dress jackets and ties, and Danny can't help but smile when Steve gets rid of his shiny shoes and black dress socks as soon as he sits down, toes wiggling as he stretches his legs out in front of him. Danny lets his eyes travel up along Steve's long legs, checking him out somewhat unashamedly now that they're properly alone. They've had sex a few times in the past couple of months and Danny would be lying if his heart hadn't stopped for a fraction of a second when Steve had appeared at the house for the wake dressed like this.

He's not naive, he knows that Steve's brought him here to stay the night, not just until the beer is gone and he needs to call a cab back to his dismal apartment, ready to wake up hungover and alone tomorrow morning. He's just not sure that he can summon up the energy to make the first move.

Steve opens two bottles, tossing Danny the bag of Goobers as he passes over the beer, still smirking. Danny mock-scowls at him but digs into the candy straight away, washing down each mouthful with a swig of beer, ignoring the look of mild disgust that Steve gives him.

"Hey, you have no place to judge, babe. Case in point, your misguided appreciation for fruit on pizza. If I want to eat chocolate-covered peanuts with my beer, then I will."

"I'm just glad I don't pay for your dental work."

"You mean the Governor's Task Force doesn't come with dental? Man, I should never have let you coerce me into joining."

Steve grins around the bottle he brings to his lips, shaking his head lightly and rolling his shoulders as he leans back further in his chair. Danny likes watching him like this, when the rest of the world melts away, when Steve is just Steve, not Lt. Commander McGarrett, just his buddy -- fuck-buddy -- someone he can share a few beers with and shoot the shit, or even just sit and quietly watch the waves in the distance.

"I didn't coerce you."

"No, this is true. You didn't give me the chance to be coerced."

"Reckon it's turned out pretty well though. We make a good team."

Danny allows himself a smile and a nod, a hundred and one comebacks on the tip of tongue that he just doesn't have the strength to say right now. Instead, he reaches out and taps the neck of his bottle gently against Steve’s, watching Steve return his smile.


He closes his eyes for a while, leaving his bottle on the arm of the chair, held loosely in his fingers, head tipped back as if he was sunbathing. He can feel Steve's eyes on him again, as in the car, but he doesn't say anything and neither does Danny. This companionable quiet is all he needs for a while, just long enough to clear the crap out of his head -- it's a day of putting things to rest, after all, and if his eyes get wet behind his closed lids then that's just part of the process. He's held out all day, not dared to show Amy and Meka's kid anything other than strength and support, but now, here, where he's safe, where Steve is there to catch him, he can let a few tears slip down his cheeks.


Danny puts his beer down on the floor by his chair and rubs his eyes with the heels of his palms, sniffing once before letting out a groan, tiredness coming over him in waves like the ocean he can still see and hear below them. Steve's hand is on the back of his neck now, warm and large, pressing gently into the knots of tension Danny carries there every day. Danny relaxes into it, dropping his chin down onto his chest, eyes still closed. He gets a fresh waft of Steve's aftershave when he moves closer, kneeling next to Danny’s chair. His hand drops from Danny's neck to run down the length of his spine, while his mouth presses behind Danny's ear, not quite kissing him, just mouthing at the skin there, lips and teeth rubbing on the edge of Danny's hairline.

Danny turns into Steve's body, resting his forehead on Steve's opposite shoulder, hands still resting limply on his own knees while Steve brings his free hand up to brush a thumb over Danny's damp cheek. He should feel stupid, to have turned into a wreck like this, but Steve's comfort is second only to Grace's and he's not about to wake her up in the middle of night just to hear her voice telling him it's okay.

"Stay with me."

Steve's lips drag over Danny's ear when he speaks, voice low enough that Danny probably wouldn't have heard if Steve wasn't so close to him. Danny can only nod, letting Steve haul him up, not quite ragdoll-limp but not far off it. Steve's hands frame his face when they're on their feet, tipping Danny's head up gently before he leans in and catches Danny's lips in a kiss that's sticky with beer and candy. Danny's mouth opens to Steve on instinct but neither of them is interested in devouring the other as they have done in the past.

Danny wraps his arms around Steve’s waist, pulling at his shirt until he can slide a hand up underneath, pressing his palm flat against the warm skin of Steve’s back. He rubs his thumb over the ridges of Steve’s spine, sighing into Steve’s mouth when his hands tug gently at Danny’s hair. He pushes himself up onto his toes for a moment, anchoring himself with fingers twisted in Steve’s shirt, using the change in angle to push his hips into Steve’s. Steve lets out a shuddering breath as he breaks off from the kiss and pushes Danny away and towards the house.

“Come on. Inside.”

Another time and Danny might have shaken his head, pushed their trousers down and turned to lean on the back of the chair, have Steve fuck him out here, while they watch the waves. He’s pretty sure Steve would enjoy that, and that he’d never be able to hear the sound of the ocean without thinking of sex. As it is, Danny just nods, finding enough life in his limbs to reach up and unbutton Steve’s shirt as they walk back into the house. He lets the starched white cloth fall to the floor in the doorway, running his hands over Steve’s chest lightly enough that he can see Steve shiver, before he’s pinned up against the wall while Steve returns the favour. Steve’s mouth finds his collar bones, moving down until he’s got one of Danny’s nipples between his teeth, leaving a trail of hot-wet kisses in his wake.

Danny’s hands are loose by his sides again, head tipped back against the wall, eyes closed. He exhales shakily when he feels Steve’s fingers curl around his own, squeezing once before they slot between the gaps, holding on tight. He keeps his eyes shut as Steve kisses downwards, running his tongue along the lines of his stomach muscles, stubble catching on the hairs on Danny’s stomach when he noses the ridge of Danny’s hipbone, just above his waistband. Steve’s other hand unbuckles his belt, but Danny doesn’t want this, not here like this, not tonight.

“Steve. Babe. You’ve got a perfectly good bed up there. I know; I’ve been fucked in it before. Let’s not waste it, yeah?”

Steve looks up, licking his lips as he blinks once, twice. His eyes are dark in that way that usually means one of two things – Danny’s about to get shot or fucked. He pets the side of Steve’s head, something he never lets himself do, and then tugs Steve back to his feet with their joined hands. He wraps his other hand around the back of Steve’s neck, pulling him down for another kiss before pushing him towards the stairs.


Danny doesn’t even blink at the late response, too intent on getting Steve to the bedroom. He wonders briefly which of them is supposed to be leading this dance tonight, but in the end he figures it doesn’t really matter. They’ll both get what they want, what they need.

They kiss again as they finish stripping each other, standing in the middle of Steve’s bedroom, letting slacks and underwear fall around their ankles. Danny steps out of his pile of clothes and sits back on the edge of the bed to watch Steve as he moves to open the shutters instead of turning on a lamp; the windows open wide to the night and the ocean air. Danny closes his eyes and lets the cool breeze drift over his skin, sighing when he feels Steve’s body heat next to him, the bed dipping under his weight. He leans into it, letting Steve push him back onto the bed, feeling himself be turned onto his side. Steve’s leg hooks over his hip, bringing Danny closer, until their bodies are touching from chest to groin.

Danny opens his eyes when their dicks brush together, finding himself looking right into Steve’s, and the intensity is a little jarring. Maybe he shouldn’t be all that surprised, given the way Steve’s been looking after him all evening, but it still makes Danny swallow back anything he might’ve said. Steve’s the first to blink after a few beats, his gaze moving around Danny’s face as his hand moves up and down Danny’s side, fingers dancing over his skin. Something in Danny’s chest unclenches when Steve’s mouth quirks up at one side, giving him the barest hint of a smile. He kisses Steve again, and again, one hand on the back of his head, his other arm wrapping around Steve’s waist as he rolls onto his back and takes Steve with him, Steve’s legs straddling his hips.

“What do you want, Danny?”

Steve’s words are little more than a murmur, pressed into Danny’s mouth with his tongue, and Danny wonders if tonight he’s allowed to just say ‘you’, and let it mean all the things he hasn’t been saying. Even if the few times they’ve already fucked have been little more than a release of tension, fucking instead of fighting, this is more than that. This is Danny admitting that he needs Steve, that he wants Steve to take care of him, that sometimes he’s not as strong as he makes out – and he knows Steve isn’t either.

He watches Steve push himself up on his arms, follows the cords of muscle and sinew that stand out under his skin, traces the edges of Steve’s tattoos with his eyes and fingers, taking a moment to lick his own kiss-swollen lips and swallow down the taste of Steve’s tongue. Danny’s stomach rolls when he looks up at Steve’s face again; he’s completely unguarded, every emotion plain to see as the moonlight catches his eyelashes and the wide, dark pits of his pupils. Danny swallows again, running his hand up to touch Steve’s cheek, brushing his thumb over the bone and then down to the corner of Steve’s mouth, resting the edge of his nail there.


Steve breathes his name almost as if he hadn’t meant to consciously say it out loud and Danny decides there and then that he only ever wants to hear his name come out of Steve’s mouth in that tone, that he’s going to be playing it on a loop in his head every time he masturbates for the rest of his life. He pulls Steve down again, kissing him harder, his gut twisting with each tiny movement of Steve’s hips, their cocks pressed tight together between them. Danny runs his hands over Steve’s back, fingers sliding in the sweat starting to pool at the base of Steve’s spine, beads rolling down the smooth lines of his muscles, interspersed with long-healed scars and the fading bruises from last week’s case. He knows when he hits one of those from the tiny muffled grunt Steve lets out into Danny’s mouth. It’s hotter than it should be.

Danny whines when Steve pulls back again, about to ask him where he thinks he’s going when he sees Steve’s arm snake out to the side, opening the drawer of the nightstand as he swings his leg back over Danny, sitting on the edge of the bed to look through it. Danny sits up as well, draping himself over Steve’s back to watch his hands push things aside; hunting for what Danny assumes is lube and a condom.

“I thought your night-vision was better than that, Super SEAL.”

“Yeah, well, something’s got me distracted.”

“Wonder what that could be.”

Danny kisses the back of Steve’s neck as he slides a hand around Steve’s waist to grab his cock. He strokes him a few times, long enough for Steve to pause and drop his head backwards onto Danny’s shoulder, before his hand comes to cover Danny’s, moving it away.

“Stop that, or I’ll never find what we need.”

“I think you need to start keeping those things within a more convenient reach.”

The words hang heavy in the air between them, Steve’s eyes lifting to meet Danny’s, questioning without speaking. Danny just nods, his heart rate ramping up again, thudding so loudly in his ears for a moment that he wouldn’t have heard if Steve had said anything. He doesn’t, though, simply nodding once before turning to go through the drawer again. He places the small bottle and foil packet carefully on top of the nightstand once located and then pushes Danny back onto the bed, covering him with his body again.

Danny spreads his legs wide around Steve this time, raising his knees without being prompted. He feels faintly ridiculous, as always, in this position, but he’s too tired to kneel and if he’s honest with himself, he really wants to see Steve’s face while they do this. They kiss again and Danny’s the one reaching for the lube now, taking Steve’s hand without breaking the kiss and dribbling some of it onto Steve’s fingers. Steve groans softly against his chin, resting his forehead on Danny’s cheek as he fumbles a little between them, shifting back so that he can get his hand underneath Danny.

Danny closes his eyes at the first touch of Steve’s cool, wet fingertips to his asshole, shivering when they stroke over and around it a few times, goosebumps rising along his arms. Steve shuffles again, his dick rubbing against the inside of Danny’s thigh; Danny presses back, getting a muttered curse out of Steve. Steve pushes a finger into him in what Danny assumes is meant to be retaliation but it feels far too good for that; the burn and stretch of Steve’s long finger disappearing into him is just what he needs right now. He lets out a grunt of his own when Steve starts pressing a second finger in straight away.

“Hey. Easy, babe.”



Their eyes meet for a moment and Danny feels stupidly teenaged, his heart fluttering a little in his chest at the way Steve suddenly looks younger, nervous. It’s far from being either of their first times, and yet Danny’s mouth is going dry and his stomach is knotting, every inch of him so very aware of where he is and what he’s about to do. He pulls Steve’s head down for another kiss, closing his eyes and concentrating just on this, on Steve’s lips against his, on Steve’s fingers inside him.

Danny bites down on Steve’s bottom lip when he pushes a third finger in, letting out a low growl that reverberates back off Steve’s chin. He holds Steve’s face in his hands, pushing him away until just the tips of their noses are touching, both of them breathing raggedly as Danny twists his hips down towards Steve’s hand, almost vibrating with need. Danny rubs his nose against Steve’s, slipping one hand to the back of Steve’s neck again, thumb pressing behind his ear, stroking up and down his neck. Steve’s tongue snakes out, licking at Danny’s bottom lip, and Danny meets it with his own, smiling when Steve laughs softly as he withdraws his fingers and wipes them on the sheet next to them.

Danny keeps his hands on any part of Steve he can reach when he rocks back onto his heels again, knees spread wide under Danny’s thighs, displaying everything he’s got to Danny’s gaze. He reaches over for the condom, and it’s the best porn show Danny’s ever seen when he watches Steve roll it down onto his erection, slippery fingers fumbling slightly but always in control. He lets his eyes travel up Steve’s front, tracing the path of a bead of sweat in reverse as it slides over hard contours of muscle then disappears into the curls of dark hair around Steve’s cock. Steve’s chest is moving with each deep breath he takes, and there’s more sweat at the base of his throat, making the thin skin over his collar bones shine.

“Oh, God, would you just – c’mere.”

Danny grabs at Steve’s thigh and wrist, tugging him down again and burying his nose in Steve’s neck, licking and sucking and biting his way back to Steve’s mouth, and there are words spilling out between them that Danny doesn’t even want to think about and he really hopes Steve isn’t actively listening right now, given that Danny’s moved his hand to Steve’s cock and is guiding him to where he needs to be.

“C’mon, babe, please.”

“I got it, Danny. S’okay. S’okay.”

Danny closes his eyes again as Steve starts pushing into him, bringing his legs up even higher around Steve’s ribs to let Steve go all the way in, one slow, steady press that makes Danny’s heart beat even faster, until he can feel his pulse in his closed eyelids. Stars jump behind them when Steve bottoms out, balls pressed tight up against Danny’s ass, hip bones digging into the underside of Danny’s thighs. He lets out a soft moan, his body feeling so tightly wound and yet at the same time looser and more relaxed than he’s been in weeks. Steve’s tongue finds its way into Danny’s mouth again, kissing him as slowly as he moves his hips, withdrawing at such a torturous pace that Danny is already halfway to following him before a strong hand grabs his hip and pins him to the mattress.

“Let me.”

Danny wants to protest, to say that he needs more and he needs it now and since when has Steve been the one to take anything slow when he could just barrel in, all guns blazing, but Steve’s lips are still covering his and his dick is filling Danny up again and their bodies are moving together so fucking sweetly that it dies in the back of his mind, let alone his throat, and Danny can only drift off to somewhere where all he’s capable of is feeling Steve, around and inside him.

The only sounds filtering into Danny's ears for a while are soft moans and grunts, wet noises of sex and kisses, Steve's ever more laboured breathing. Danny clasps at Steve's shoulders, keeping him close, not that Steve shows any signs of moving more than a few inches either way at the moment.

"Oh, God, Steve."


"That's - that's all."

Steve smiles, lips curving against Danny's, then pushes up on his arms, giving a shorter, harder thrust with his hips when Danny starts to protest. He grunts instead and lets his feet fall back to the mattress, digging his heels in to lever his body back down into Steve.


Danny nods, biting his lip almost to the point of drawing blood as Steve grabs the rail of the headboard and slams into Danny, making the bed frame rattle. Danny gasps and groans with each pounding thrust, over-sensitized and on edge after such a slow build up. He scrapes his nails over Steve's back, caught between clawing him closer and pushing him away, if only to stop feeling so fucking overwhelmed. Maybe he was wrong, maybe tonight was completely the wrong night for this to happen, for this to Mean Something. Maybe he should've just had Steve blow him in the kitchen like he'd wanted to. Maybe he should've gone home alone after all.

Except -- except Steve keeps looking at him, keeps flicking his eyes all over Danny's face, as though he's cataloguing every expression to make sure Danny's feeling everything Steve wants him to feel; as though he's checking every tiny reaction, every flinch and grimace, every time Danny bites his lip, just to know that he's doing it right, and it's ridiculous and so typically Steve and it makes Danny's heart and stomach do stupid things inside him. He hasn’t seen anyone look at him that way since Rachel, and he knows what it means.

Danny closes his eyes again, throwing one of his arms up to grab onto the headboard as well, anchoring himself while his other hand slides between them to find his cock, hot and sticky and so painfully hard. He opens his eyes again when he feels Steve lean back again, finding him watching Danny’s hand as he fists himself in time with Steve. Danny can’t believe how much he wants to come for him, to show Steve ‘look, look at what you do to me, look how much I want you’.

He’s so close; his muscles tense to the point of aching, his hand squeezing his cock so tight it's liable to fuse there, and then Steve stutters, losing his rhythm for a beat or two and it shocks Danny enough that he finally loses it. He arches back as he comes over his fist and stomach, wet splashes landing on his chest as well. If he makes any sound he can't hear it over the thudding rush of his pulse in his ears.

"God, Danny."

Steve's voice is throaty, pitched low. His hand moves over Danny's skin, rubbing come and sweat into his stomach. Danny can only flop back into the mattress as Steve keeps fucking him through the last throes of his orgasm, each nudge of his prostate sending shivers through him.

He still finds it in him to be surprised when Steve comes with little more than a whine, going rigid for a few seconds before he gives Danny the biggest bliss-filled smile, eyes half-lidded and looking down at him in such a tender and unguarded way that Danny has to swallow hard.

He watches as Steve tilts his head back, eyes closing fully now, shoulders dropping as though some huge weight has been plucked from them and discarded. He looks so fucking content that Danny feels guilty for ever doubting anything to do with Steve, with them.

"C'mere. Babe. Steve."

It takes a few attempts for Danny to get any words out or Steve's attention. He tugs on Steve's wrist with fingers that only tremble slightly when he raises his hand, rewarded with another gentle smile as Steve curls forward and stretches out over him, burying his face into Danny's neck. Danny would laugh at the way Steve all but purrs, but he's too busy petting the back of Steve's head which is only going to encourage that kind of behaviour, really.

"Steve -"

Danny cuts himself off before he says something stupid like 'thank you', carding his fingers through Steve's short hair.

"Mm, that's nice."

Danny can't hold back his snort, but he keeps doing it anyway. They should probably move and get cleaned up before Steve falls asleep on top of him. Probably.

"If you start snoring, I'm gonna kick your ass, McGarrett."

"M'not sleepin'."

"Sure you're not."

Steve pushes up on his arms, looking sex-stupid and ready to pass out. It makes Danny wish he could start round two already.


"Yeah, you look so with it right now."

"Whose fault is that?"

"Hey, you started it when you kidnapped me from Meka's place."

Danny's heart clenches when Meka's name leaves his mouth, and he has to look away when Steve's face falls. He doesn’t want that kind of sympathy, not now, not after they’ve just done this. Not after it Meant Something. He can still hear those capital letters, even in his own head.


"I'm fine."

Danny swallows, planting his hands on Steve's chest, watching them instead as he digs his fingertips into Steve's skin, turning tan skin white under the pressure. He’s not really pushing away but Steve goes anyway, their bodies disconnecting at last and leaving Danny feeling emptier than he’d like. He lays his palms flat against Steve’s skin as he sits up to follow him, legs shifting to accommodate each other as Steve gets rid of the condom, tying it off and throwing it underarm into the waste basket by the bed.

“You know, I’d-”

“Don’t, Steve. Please, I’m begging you, don’t finish that sentence. I can’t – I do not want to think about that right now. All I want to do right now is shower and sleep, then tomorrow we get up and we go to work and everything goes on, okay?”


Steve looks anything but convinced, and Danny can feel the words building up in his throat, ready to spill out. He tries frantically to swallow them back, but some of them escape anyway, blurting out in a rush.

“I can’t think about losing you too, okay? I can’t. That is just – not an option, you hear me?”

“I hear you, Danny.”

“You promise? I will make you swear on my baby girl’s life if I have to.”

“I promise.”

Danny nods, his attention still focused mostly on his hands, not on Steve’s face. He licks his lips before he looks up properly, taking a deep breath and steeling himself ready to meet Steve’s eyes. There’s a pink tinge to Steve’s cheeks that he’s pretty sure matches his own, but he’s not going to say anything if Steve doesn’t.

Steve doesn’t. Steve shuffles to the edge of the bed on his knees then gets off, holding out a hand to pull Danny to his feet as well. Various parts of Danny’s body are aching now, the rush of his orgasm has worn off and he’s feeling the last few days with every twinge of abused muscle. He lets Steve lead him to the bathroom, and he’s never been gladder to hear the clank of the McGarrett household pipes warming up as they step under the spray of the shower.

They don’t linger, but Danny finds himself pressed against the cool tiles for a while when Steve kisses him, his soapy hands wandering over Danny’s front, cleaning and soothing him at the same time. He lets Steve wrap him in a towel afterwards, too, but draws the line when Steve threatens to blow dry his hair as well.

“Some things are sacred, Steven.”

Steve just laughs and continues drying off; standing bare-assed in the middle of the bedroom, uncaring that the shutters are still wide open and the lights are now on. Danny watches just as unashamedly, following Steve with his eyes as he moves around, pulling out clean sheets before stripping and remaking the bed in record time. The sheets are still cool when Danny slides underneath them, tilting his head to admire the sway of Steve’s hips as he crosses the room after turning out the light, sending the room back into moonlit darkness once more.

He tries hard not to compare it to The Good Old Days with Rachel, but his stomach is still clenched with feelings he has no other time in his life to compare them with, and Steve hasn’t put a single one of his walls back up again since they first fell into bed earlier tonight. They settle down, eyelashes brushing each other’s cheeks as they share Danny’s pillow, limbs tangled together for now even though they’ll separate in the night, until Steve gets cold and comes to plaster himself to Danny’s back, making them both overheat. The same thing happens every time one of them sleeps over.

“By the way, I, er, I don’t… You know… Wanna lose you either.”

There’s so much Danny could say to Steve’s whispered confession, but now really isn’t the time, and as much as he’d love for Steve to actually talk about some of those Issues of his (Danny’s head is just full of capital letters), what he wants more is to sleep.

“That is – good to know.”

Danny keeps his eyes closed, turning his face into Steve’s hand when it comes up to push a strand of hair off to the side. He doesn’t have the energy to slap it away, so he just grumbles instead, getting a low chuckle out of Steve.

“When you’re done petting me, can we get some sleep, please, Steven?”

“I’ll stop petting when you stop clinging to me like a finger monkey.”

“A finger monkey?”

“Yeah, finger monkey. They’re small and clingy, just like you.”

Danny can’t help the way he splutters, indignant, and pushes away from Steve who’s grinning like the shit-eating bastard that he is.

“Small and clingy? Small and clingy? Oh, it is on, my friend.”

“Bring it.”

“Oh, yeah?”


Danny throws back the sheets they only just pulled over themselves and launches himself at Steve, ridding the both of them of any last vestiges of tension as they laugh and tumble together in the dark of Steve’s bedroom, until eventually tiredness wins out over adrenalin, leaving them in another knot of exhausted limbs.

Danny looks at Steve one last time before he falls asleep and sees only himself in Steve’s eyes.


You’re exactly where you wanna be
There is no room for streams of tears
The sun is shining down, the clouds have cleared

Could you be the one for me