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Arsonists Anonymous

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John Lennon made a group chat

John Lennon named the chat “arsonists anonymous”

John Lennon added Paul McCartney, George Harrison, Ringo Starr, Jimi Hendrix, David Bowie, Freddie Mercury, Morrissey, Neil Cicierega and Rick Astley to the chat

John Lennon welcome troglodytes

John Lennon changed their name to MR LEMON MAN

Paul McCartney changed their name to Macca

George Harrison changed their name to Joj

Ringo Starr changed their name to Ringo

Macca what is this for

MR LEMON MAN ...

David Bowie changed their name to Bitch

Neil Cicierega changed their name to Lemon Demon

Freddie Mercury changed their name to YOUR MAGESTY

Morrissey It’s spelled “majesty” not “magesty”.

MR LEMON MAN kicked Morrissey out of the chat

Rick Astley lmao what’s happening

MR LEMON MAN we do not use proper punctuation in this household. is this clear

Rick Astley yh

YOUR MAGESTY how about we add some more people? let’s get the party started darlings

MR LEMON MAN sure

YOUR MAGESTY added Nona Weisbaum to the chat

MR LEMON MAN who the fuck is that

YOUR MAGESTY some random drag queen I found on the side of the road

Jimi Hendrix I vibe with that

Jimi Hendrix added John Frusciante to the chat

Bitch added Ian Curtis to the chat

John Frusciante hey

Ian Curtis hey

Nona Weisbaum h e y

Justin Bieber hey

Bitch BEGONE.

Macca BEGONE

Ringo BEGINE

Joj BEGIN

Nona Weisbaum BEGI

Lemon Demon BEG

MR LEMON MAN BEG FOR YOUR LIFE YOU SWINE

YOUR MAGESTY honey no

YOUR MAGESTY kicked Justin Bieber out of the chat

Bitch so anyways

Ian Curtis what’s this for

Macca That’s what I said, JOHN, and you never ANSWERED

MR LEMON MAN murder

Ian Curtis valid answer

Nona Weisbaum changed their name to Jerry Cantrell

Jerry Cantrell added Layne Staley to the chat

Layne Staley what’s this for

MR LEMON MAN murder

Layne Staley understandable

Macca Who added that Justin Bieber bitch

Bitch hey what are you accusing me of why would I know

Macca No I was calling HIM a bitch

MR LEMON MAN I don’t know but he’s gone now so who cares

Jimi Hendrix I looked through all the people on here around when he posted that message and he wasn’t there so

Jerry Cantrell yeah idk just ban him or something

Bitch eh that’s kinda boring

Ringo oh no

Joj what do you suggest we do? hire a hitman?

Macca oh shit

Ian Curtis I’m on it

Lemon Demon oh fuck

Joj WAIT NO

MR LEMON MAN YEAH I COULD DO IT

Ian Curtis added Peter Hook, Bernard Sumner, Stephen Morris, and Gillian Gilbert to the chat

Peter Hook changed their name to Hooky

Hooky changed Bernard Sumner’s name to Barney

Barney bitch I’m not a purple dinosaur

Barney changed their name to Bernard Sumner

Hooky changed Bernard Sumner’s name to Purpledino Sumner

Purpledino Sumner w h y

Purpledino Sumner changed their name to Bernard

Stephen Morris you say that like Bernard is any better

Bitch so anyways do any of you do contract killings

MR LEMON MAN I’m right here you could have asked me

Stephen Morris NO??????????

Hooky yes?????????????

Bernard i mean if you paid me enough maybe?????????????

Gillian Gilbert I can be the getaway driver

Ian Curtis see told you

Joj sure hope the government or some shit doesn’t see this

Jimi Hendrix lmaoooo

Jerry Cantrell wait I know someone who would probably commit cold blooded murder too

Jerry Cantrell added Josh Homme to the chat

Josh Homme sup hoes

Layne Staley hey man we’re plotting murder

Josh Homme nice

Rick Astley dear any FBI agent who may read this, this is a joke

Bitch great okay who gives a shit so

YOUR MAGESTY we have someone you must behead

Hooky I can disguise myself by putting a neon pink piñata over my face and yeet their head off with a rusty spatula faster than you can say “you’ve made some poor decisions in life”

Ringo how does a spatula get rusty

Hooky metal spatulas are a thing right

Ian Curtis that’s seriously your most pressing question in response to that?

Bitch who cares! just! kill!!!!

MR LEMON MAN see this is why I said the chat’s purpose is murder

Stephen Morris I can run them over with a tank

Macca I’m sorry what

Stephen Morris I’m not even joking, I own multiple tanks

Stephen Morris well technically they aren’t tanks they’re just called military vehicles but whatever everyone says tank

Ringo

Jimi Hendrix

Josh Homme ...

Joj

Layne Staley

Lemon Demon dope

Ian Curtis that’s a bit conspicuous though

Macca A BIT????

Ringo just slightly

Stephen Morris oh yeah I guess we can’t do that I can buy the disguises or something instead

YOUR MAGESTY it’s kind of worrying how much you guys are on board with this you don’t even know who the person in question is but who am I to judge?

Bernard I mean isn’t that how a contract killing works

YOUR MAGESTY yeah you have a point

Bitch it doesn’t matter it’s Justin Bieber we’re talking about

Jerry Cantrell yeah killing him is payment in and of itself

Hooky oh

Bernard okay never mind you don’t even have to pay us

Joj I’d stab him too honestly

Lemon Demon I volunteer to smash his face in with a crowbar if nothing else works

YOUR MAGESTY fabulous

MR LEMON MAN I would gladly kill him too, you know??? Why am I being excluded from the murder plots????

Jimi Hendrix damn y’all really chose violence

Justin Bieber imagine all the people

Ian Curtis no

MR LEMON MAN HOW THE FUCK.

Macca HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN THERE????

Jerry Cantrell y’all done fucked up

Rick Astley fuck