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Dave Strider is a Magic Kid

Chapter 2

Notes:

I have all these pages and am still not done with chapter 2 :(

So I decided to post 'em early! Guess it should be fine, right? By the way, slightly edited chapter 1: now dave is THREE dozen flights up.

I know I recommended reading this chapter by chapter to avoid lag. I also recommend not reading it at all because its slow and mostly a bunch of jokes I wanted to see with plot slowly crawling in the background, pretending to matter.

PS: the delete game data button doesn't work ;-; its just there for aesthetic purposes

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

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The curtain opens to the same image of Roxy and Dirk staring.
Dave coughing into his hand, pretending he's chill.

You may have lost your cool for a second there...

> Recover.

Recover.

Dave and Rose whispering conspiratorially. Bro and Mom watch.

Dave: ahem
Dave: i mean
Dave: ok yeah no this is really weird
Dave: (psst)

Rose: ?
Dave: (rose)
Dave: (will your mom start yanking at my ear if i cuss in front of her?)
Rose: (I think you're safe.)
Dave: (ok cool)
Dirk: You kids know we can hear you, right?
Roxy: omg you know each other?
Roxy: :0

> ==>

==>

Dirk and Roxy discussing child rearing strats.

Dirk: You didn't know?
Roxy: you did?
Dirk: You were doing the personal space thing, weren't you?
Dirk: There is such a thing as too much personal space, Roxy.

Roxy: and there's such a thing as being too controlling, dirk.
Roxy: HOW do they knw each other?
Roxy: rose, darling, explain to mommy how you know each other
Rose: ...
Dirk: What the hell was that?
Roxy: what was wat?
Dirk: That tone of voice. What the hell was that tone of voice, you sound like you drank a gallon of helium.
Roxy: :|
Roxy: thats my mom voice
Dirk: She's not a goddamn cat, Roxy. She can understand your normal human voice just fine.
Roxy: bluuuhhhhhh
Roxy: dirrrrrrkkkkkk
Roxy: quick lil dirk

> ==>

==>

Dave pointing at himself.

Dave: ?
Dave: who me
Roxy: yea yous
Roxy: you explain your relationship with my dotter before dirk goes on dumbass tirade about how hes soooo much better at raising a kid than me
Dirk: Alright, my tirades are rad as fuck, but suit yourself.
Roxy: sure will
Roxy: kiddo?
Dave: um
Dave: pesterchum?
Dave: (what the hell am i supposed to say?)

Rose: Ideally, that answer should suffice.
Roxy: i guess :/
Roxy: i guess this means explaining should be ez!
Dirk: Hold on a moment. Bro, spend some downtime with your friend in your room. Momlonde and I have some talkin' to get done.
Roxy: oh noes
Dave: uh
Dave: sure

> Escort Rose.

Escort Rose.

A full view of Dave's room with both kids and Jaspers inside.

You escort Rose to your room, where she jeers distastefully at the wires on the ground.

She doesn't look particularly put off, however. Probably psycho-analyzing your posters as Jasper scratches at your pillow.

> Talk to Rose.

Talk to Rose.

Dave searching his closet.

You wreak havoc through your closet to offer her some southern hospitality. AKA: apple juice. You like to keep these at hand in your room, especially during winter.

Dave: did you know my bro and your mom were
Dave: friends i guess
Dave: they seemed kinda friendly right
Dave: i mean i know they were fighting a whole lot but i have a feeling i just saw what a conversation between you and me looks like from an outsider's pov
Dave: which in a way i guess was kind of adorable
Dave: i mean also pretty vicious your mom nearly tore bros ear off back there but im sure theyre roasting each other out as we speak
Dave: freaky coincidance though right
Dave: yknow it just occured to me
Dave: i lied about the light tuna
Dave: we dont have tuna
Jaspers: :(
Rose: What are you doing?
Dave: looking for apple juice why do you ask
Rose: The situation is getting increasingly worrying and you're looking for apple juice?
Dave: rose are you telling me you dont want aj
Rose: What could they be hiding from us? Does that topic, which is guaranteed to pertain to us, not interest you in the slightest?
Rose: And did you tell your brother about me specifically? Because he didn't seem so much bothered by our knowing each other as much as he was about mother's arrival specifically.
Rose: Considering your outburst earlier, I would think at least half of this interests you.
Rose: And yet here you are. Searching your closet for apple juice.
Dave: just for me then
Rose: Dave!

> ==>

==>

Dave half offering, half forcing a bottle of apple juice to/on Rose.

Dave: so what you wanna spy on them or something
Dave: because trust me its impossible to spy on my bro
Dave: its like hes everywhere at once
Dave: omnipresent if you will
Rose: So,
Rose: You simply want to wait it out?
Dave: i was thinking more along the lines of hanging out but that works too
Dave: look
Dave: this is literally the first time ive seen you in person
Dave: and i used literally in the more literal sense and not in some form of mock-worthy exaggeration
Dave: isnt this like a big step in our friendship or whatever?
Dave: if youll allow me the mushy talk

> ==>

==>

Rose finally take the fucking AJ.

Rose: ...
Rose: It certainly is an endeavor. After all, holding a serious conversation with me must be tiresome.
Dave: wow sarcastic rose activated faster than i thought she would
Dave: thats good
Dave: besides
Dave: im not saying we cant speculate to our hearts content about whatever secret theyve been keeping from us our entire lives
Dave: as of now this has become a no judgement zone for any and all scandalous theories and smutty fanfics we can think up involving my bro and your mom
Dave: maybe they used to date
Rose: Maybe they're siblings.

> Discuss wild theories.

Discuss wild theories.

Dave drinking his juice, Rose on the bed, playing with Jaspers.
Rose sitting comfortably on the bed, talking. Dave, kind of laying on both the bed and the wall, head hanging off the edge, glasses upside-down. Jaspers is laying under Dave's legs.

You continue discussing theories and smut in equal amounts.

> ==>

==>

A crow suddenly slams into the window. 'BONK!' Rose jump and turns her head toward the noise. Dave falls off the bed, losing his glasses momentarily. He puts them back on and also turns to the window.

You are rudely interrupted from a particularily detailed tale of love between two spies from opposing families when something slams on your window.

You don't know if you've mentioned this before, but you live on the top floor of a 36 floor building. You didn't expect to get rocks thrown at your window. You're willing to listen to some dumbass singing in the rain with a boombox on their shoulder playing Peter Gabriel, but you doubt such an honor has been bestowed upon you today.

> ==>

==>

The knocking continues.

Dave: what the hell
Rose: It's not stopping.

> Check out that noise.

Check out that noise.

A crow stares through the window. Words in Rose's text color say 'Bad omen' with and arrow pointing at the crow.

According to horror movie logic, this is the worst idea. You walk to the window and find...a crow. Damn birds are everywhere.

> ==>

==>

A closer shot of the window. The crow cocks its head and lifts a letter slightly.

It seems to have a letter.

> [S] Be Harry Potter.

[S] Be Harry Potter.

Harry Potter was given a letter by an owl, but this is close enough that it warrants an ironic depiction. Besides, who wouldn't want to read a letter delivered via bird (even an asshole bird).

> ==>

==>

Dave gets pecked by crow. Rose remains alarmed for obvious reasons.

Stupid, goddamn lousy bird!

> Take letter.

Take letter.

Dave watches as the crow protects the letter (which is on the desk) from Jaspers' claws, though Jaspers seems more interested in the bird itself.

You are not putting your hand near that mess. Thankfully, you have a sylladex and can easily captchalogue that shit scratch-free.

2 + 1 + 2 + 2 + 1 + 2 = 10 % 10 = 0

The LETTER is captchalogued in card 0.

> Read letter.

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