I sit here and think
About who you used to be.
Were you fooling me, or was I the fool?
I think of the times
You would smile at me when
I had hardly said anything.
I think of you, and
how your eyes would shine so bright.
Those speckled brown eyes, shining as if they were the light.
I was your light.
Why didn’t you tell me?
I thought myself as mad
To think of you,
To believe you could be more than a friend.
I thought about you
When I kissed you on that bench,
When I kissed you, in my fantasy.
Inside of dreams,
I would allow myself think of you,
As something so much more.
You were the light.
Why didn’t I tell you?
But I could never
Bring myself to admit that
I felt things differently than I had before.
I thought myself as different,
To think of you as I did.
And I’m so sorry.
I was never different.
We were alike in more ways than I could know.
We were bright.
Our lights shined the same.
I should have told you.
I should have known it,
When you looked at me like that that day on the bench.
I should have realized it,
When I saw you, with your speckled brown eyes, glowing when our hands brushed.
When my heart fluttered, when I wanted to run my fingers over your bruised knuckles and never let go.
I thought I knew it,
When I kissed someone else, and you had that sad look on your face, as if you had been betrayed.
And I felt like I had betrayed you.
But I didn’t know.
But I couldn’t admit it.
But I didn’t say it when I could.
I loved you too.