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Sacrilege (When You Give A Clone A Cookie)

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A little known fact about commander Cody of the 212th battalion is that he is an excellent chef. Occasionally, on days following good campaigns, the smell of fruit from various worlds would drift enticingly from the ship's mess. Cody's speciality were cookies, cookies with fruits, cookies with sugary tasting bugs from Ryloth, cookies with mixes of herbs and spices that were as sweet as they were spicy.

There were a special set of rules to follow whilst Cody was baking cookies, because should anything happen and Cody's standard be anything less than normal (perfect) then it is generally accepted this may cause an all out riot. (Last time Cody had been distracted ended up with Waxer and Boil being locked in a room and involved a mallet, a rubber duck and a tin-opener; nobody particularly wants to talk about it). The rules are as follows:

- Do not enter the kitchen whilst Cody is baking

- Do not comm Cody whilst he is baking

- Do not linger outside the kitchen whilst Cody is baking

- NO SHENANIGANS WHILST CODY IS BAKING, YES ANY 501st TROOPERS CURRANTLY SUBSTITUTING ABOARD THE NEGOTIATOR WE DO MEAN YOU

 


ARC troopers Fives and Echo were currently aboard the Negotiator as they had not yet had the opportunity to switch back to the Resolute since the last battle. Their last campaign had ended successfully and the ship was currently in hyperspace heading to a rendezvous point to switch back any displaced troopers with the Resolute.

As of yet Fives and Echo had not been given the opportunity to be aboard the Negotiator post-battle and so stared up at the small sign in unrestrained astonishment. "Wait, Cody bakes?! " Gawped Fives. A passing couple of troopers also donning 501st blue exchanged amused glances, "ARC troopers and still gawping like shinies," chuckled one. Fives and Echo whipped around to pin the passing troopers with (almost) venomous glares. Hardcase and Jesse, who'd served under General Skywalker many years and long since passed the unofficial title of 'shiny', simply blinked back at them in amusement. Fives and Echo were as easily provoked as any younger brothers were apt to do, "we are not-!" 

"Shh!"  hissed any and all 212th troopers within earshot of the quickly escalating row, and at a thud! and a few muttered curses from inside the kitchen the clones scattered. Leaving the corridor empty with military precision.

The cookies were ready to be distributed long before reaching the rendezvous point, troopers off duty made sure to collect an extra one or two for any vode who could not leave their posts or were in medbay. Cody had personally brought Fives and Echo their cookies, so he could see their reaction himself. In practised synchronisation they bit in, Fives instantly took another bite, and another; until his cookie vanished in a matter of seconds. Echo however, was coughing and his eyes were watering wildly; Cody looked startled.

"Sorry vo-d," choked Echo, "I'm sure they're amazing but I can't-" he broke off into another fit of coughing before trying again, "the s-pice-" he continued his coughing fit. Cody, rather than taking offence, looked bemused and went to fetch a flask of water; Echo nodded his thanks as he downed the liquid in fast, desperate gulps. Meanwhile various 212th troopers were watching with mixed expressions of shock and horror, a few were breathing heavily and were held up by other brothers. A general outburst of shock fell on the gathered troopers with on obviously reoccurring word: sacrilege. Cody failed to suppress a groan, "not again!"

Echo looked alarmed as various 212th vode picked his up and forcefully escorted him from the room. Fives stood there, crumbs still on his face, completely dumbfounded. Following his 212th brothers from the room he asked, "what in all the nine hells of Corellia is going on?!!" A trooper, Rig, turned to answer, "he has dishonoured us," Rig said gravely, "Echo dared to choke on one of Cody's cookiesthat is sacrilege." Fives looked bewildered, "he couldn't exactly help it!" Rig turned and looked Fives right in the eyes, "look, we're going to ceremoniously lock him in the cupboard with mouse droids and toothbrushes, you in?" 

"Totally."


Private CC Communications Channel (with Rex)

Cody: They've done it again...

Ponds: Done what again?

Rex: Codes, What are they doing to my troopers? 

Cody: it wasn't my fault! Echo choked on one of my cookies and things got out of hand 

Wolffe: you gave them sugar??

Gree: you guys get all the fun...

Fox: you guys are interrupting my paperwork with cookies???

Ponds: umm, no?

Fox: thankyousomuchI'vebeenhereforhoursndIreallyhatedoingallthepaperworkfortheCroscurantguard!!!

Wolffe: sorry, I didn't catch that; come again?

Cody: can we please just focus!

Cody: they're raiding the storage cupboards for toothbrushes now!!

Rex: hang on, I'll hop into a shuttle and rendezvous ahead on time; be there in five

Gree: so Cody, how much sugar even goes in your cookies?

Cody: No comment


By this time the majority of the troopers were engaged in 'the great mouse droid hunt', as it was later dubbed. Cody's attempts to get the General to come and help were quite frankly, pitiful failures as General Kenobi was meditating. Amid the hullabaloo nobody noticed a 501st legion shuttlecraft land in the docking bay, nor the quick, synchronised steps of a captain and a commander walking down the long corridors of the Negotiator. Nobody except Hardcase, but he was (quite literally) bouncing off the walls.

They appeared to reach the cupboard just in time; Echo - who was extremely confused and disturbed at this point, was quoting as many regulations as were currently being broken, if nothing else it was keeping him calm - was surrounded by various furious vode and being pushed through the blast doors, where toothbrush-wielding mouse droids were waiting.

"What the heck!!" Rex stopped just before the crowded troopers in shock. A couple of troopers turned but most of the gathered clones ignored the presence of their superiors. Red took a deep breath, "attenshun!" Many years of the command I filled into the clones broke through their focus on their task and caused them to turn in perfect unison and snap a salute. Some troopers were still ho?ding toothbrushes. Cody took a breath, "now that I have your attention," he hollered so they could hear him, "can you please release the poor ARC trooper and get back to your stations, before I put you all on latrine duty!" The crowd dispersed in seconds, toothbrush-wielding mouse droids following behind. "I don't even want to know what those were for," muttered Rex. "Neither do I, particularly," muttered Echo, standing up and brushing himself off. Cody snorted, "are you alright, vod'ika? They get rough after sugar." Rex rolled his eyes, "you don't say," he commented. Echo turned to Rex and said, "we can't compete with this, hands down the 212th is madder." Cody somehow managed to give him a threatening glare round his mouthful of cookie.