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I don’t want to lose you to a nightmare

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From the first moment we touched, your arms felt like home. - John Mark Green

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He was walking down his block, the concrete under his shoes and the cold autumn air blowing through his hair. Yamaguchi cozied himself into his large winter jacket, and he felt himself grow warmer.

Yamaguchi then heard cars and honks in the distance and city lights shining at the singe of his vision. He quickly walked over to the commotion and saw traffic lights as well as cars with gloss paint. It was a little weird because the rest of the area around the traffic lights were ocean and fields of grass, no other buildings around.

He looked at the cars and saw that they were all passing by really quickly. He had to slightly back away in order to not get swept up by the fastest cars there.

What caught his eye however, was someone walking across the street with traffic bursting through. He was terrified and wanted to save the person, but he couldn’t move. His feet were stuck to the ground, like some sort of sap was stuck to his shoes, or his muscles were having some sort of spasm.

The person was wearing headphones, big clunky white headphones with a cord going to their phone. They had fair skin, was a tall height, and blond hair.

The person looked somewhat similar, and he looked at the person parallel to him in the street straight in the eye. There eyes were amber and sap mixed together as if it was made of honey and it was obviously a guy since he had a flat chest and his hair was short and Oh my god-

 

It was Tsukki.

 

Why the hell was he walking in the street with all this traffic? Yamaguchi thought. Everything in time seemed to slow down when he realized his boyfriend was walking in the street.

Tsukishima’s eyes widened when he looked at Yamaguchi. Then Yamaguchi tried to say to Tsukki a warning or to get out of the road, but his voice was hoarse and dead. It had no friction or sound against his throat.

Yamaguchi then started floating upwards slowly, and his feet were unstuck from the ground but he still couldn’t move near his Tsukki. He was screaming in his head, every single voice yelling for him to get out of the road or just move out of the way of the cars.

Tsukishima didn’t move at all, he just stood still in the middle of the road, looking at Yamaguchi with those beautiful amber eyes of his.

Yamaguchi kept floating up, gradually getting faster and faster, and Tsukishima was getting smaller and smaller.

And once Yamaguchi could barely see him, a car honked and they moved forward.

All Yamaguchi saw was tears in his eyes, and his sobs were blocked by his dead voice. His Tsukki was gone. He couldn’t see the traffic lights that much anymore, thank god, but he knew that Tsukki was gone. He kept crying and floating upwards until he stopped.

Then he started falling down. Really really quickly.

He saw everything around him go black. He was falling in a bottomless hole, but he didn’t have anyone to comfort, or anyone to comfort him. He was missing a part of himself, an addition to his heart that was taken away. His amazing, smart, and beautiful boyfriend was gone.

No more waking up next to Tsukki in the morning under the covers. No more afternoon walks where they would be in a comfortable silence. No more pancakes for dinner evenings in their apartment. And no more falling asleep during movies together at night.

And then Yamaguchi yelled vocally when his spine hit the bottom of the pit.

Then everything went black.

 

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Yamaguchi woke up violently. He had his eyes fully open with tears streaming down his freckled cheeks. His breathing was uneven and quick.

He remembered where he was again after a minute, and he breathed as deeply as he could. He was in him and Tsukki’s apartment, and he was having a nightmare apparently.

Despite it only being a dream, it really shook him up. He was still crying and couldn’t fully calm himself down, even after his breathing evened out.

“Tadashi.”

Yamaguchi physically jumped when he heard his first name from a familiar voice.

“Are you okay? You look shaken.”

Next to Yamaguchi was Tsukishima, barely visible to Yamaguchi since it was 4 in the morning.

Once Yamaguchi saw his Tsukki he was overcome with a wave of emotion. He started crying as he was sitting up in bed. He didn’t want to but his mind kept drifting back to his dream of Tsukki getting run over and he felt horrified. He kept thinking Is Tsukki really here? And his breathing kept hitching through his sobs.

He then felt arms wrapping around him warmly. Tsukki really was here!

“What happened Tadashi?”

Tsukishima asked him in a soft voice and yamaguchi found himself hoarse like in his dream, unable to speak. His voice cracked when he tried to speak of his awful dream.

“It’s fine, im here.”

Yamaguchi felt a sigh of relief go through him and he melted into Tsukki’s touch. He nuzzled his head in Tsukki’s chest, leaving small wet marks on his shirt, and started shifting his legs around Tsukishima’s waist, sitting on his lap.

Yamaguchi then felt his mouth open.

“I-I had a nightmare w-where you- you...”

“Just spill it all out.”

He hiccuped a little, then continued.

“O-one where y-you died.”

Tsukishima didn’t freeze or anything, he just kept his arms around Yamaguchi’s waist while Yamaguchi rested his shaking arms around Tsukishima’s torso.

“You were walking down the street w-with your headphones on.. a-and you- I was walking down the street and we both s-stared at each other until i like f-floated up slowly and the cars where there too and they were going w-way too fast and i j-just stood there since i c-couldn’t save you. I j-just miss you and its s-scary because that really s-shook me for s-some reason and im so so happy that your okay-“

He was cut off by soft lips moving against his. Tsukishima held Yamaguchi’s chin under his fingers and slowly moved his lips against the others.

They broke apart after about 30 seconds of a warm sensation and Tsukishima spoke.

“You don’t have to worry. Im not going anywhere.”

And with only those words Yamaguchi felt all the shadows of his worries completely fade away from Tsukki’s stunning moonlight. He was complexity melted with love for his Tsukki.

Yamaguchi held Tsukki tightly and peppered his face with kisses and held him oh so tightly.

Tsukishima then lifted Yamaguchi’s face by his cheek and they kissed deeply. Yamaguchi felt a slippery tongue sneak against his bottom lip. He opened his mouth to welcome Tsukishima’s tongue. Damn, he was way too in love with Tsukishima.

Tsukishima then let his hands fall down to Yamaguchi’s low back. Was he trying to feel him up? Oh god this feels too good. Yamaguchi went out of their lip lock for a second.

“Tsukki, we have class tomorrow.” They were in college and sharing an apartment so they were guaranteed to not have nay interruptions.

“So?”

“Well then we should go to sleep or else we’ll be tired tomorrow.”

“Your first class isn’t till 10 and mine isn’t till 11. We’ll be fine.”

Yamaguchi could feel blush creeping up his neck all the way to his ears. Yamaguchi then connected their lips again and he bit down on Tsukki’s bottom lip. Tsukishima groaned a little which made goosebumps bump against Yamaguchi’s skin. He also felt something in his pants popping out a little bit. All memories of the nightmare had faded away at this point.

Tsukishima then moved his lips down to Yamaguchi’s neck, which made him moan a little outside of his mouth somewhat loudly. He covered up his mouth while Tsukishima smirked a little and did it again.

“Mm, I love you Tsukki.”

Tsukishima looked up from Yamaguchi’s neck where he left little red spots that would be purple tomorrow, and the smirk turned into a small smile that only Yamaguchi knew of and saw.

“I love you too.”

The next morning, Yamaguchi woke up with a naked torso against him and warm arms wrapped around him as well as legs wrapped in between his.

He was tucked underneath his chin and saw little red marks where he had trailed his lips the night before. He was so happy.

Yamaguchi could do this for the rest of his life, and even if he had nightmares every night, it would never compare to the dream filled reality of his life.

Nightmares had no power against Tsukki and his beautiful light.

 

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It’s that heart of gold, & stardust soul that make you beautiful. - R.M. Broderick

 

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The End