It had been a few days since En’s party and Noi could not stop thinking about what happened. It took a few hours after she woke up the morning after to realise that the vestiges of adrenaline flowing through her body weren't from a dream.
You win, senpai
She still felt overwhelmed when she remembered the things she said. Even though she considered herself shameless, she knew she should feel somewhat embarrassed about it all, but the fact that she was sure now that Shin also wanted shocked her and filled her body with something that left no room for shame at all.
Not like this
That sensation hadn’t left her. Now she knew, she was sure, that knowledge spilled over every part of her body and she didn’t know where to put it. She knew part of him wanted her. She wanted to push to see how much he wanted.
Not like this
She knew the sensible and mature thing to do was to talk to him, communicate that she wanted him and ask if he felt the same, if he was comfortable feeling the same.
But Noi had no idea how. She imagined over the past few days how she could do it, tried to put it into words over and over again, many scenarios playing out in her head. She knew Shin had noticed her focus during work was even worse than normal.
And after he called her out on it that afternoon, she gave up trying to figure out how to communicate through words.
In every scenario she ran over in her head things would always end up the same way. Shin would storm off in the end. Noi knew him for over a decade and she could not picture him responding any other way to direct confrontation other than running away when things crossed the line of what was familiar to them. And she just didn’t trust her communication skills. So she had decided after they got back home that she would show him.
And with that decision her body was positively vibrating with that energy that left her anxious to the point that she couldn’t keep still. When they got back from work Shin went to his room to take off his suit and change into his usual sweatpants and tshirt before they’d ordered dinner at her place. She didn’t even taste the food through her restlessness. He asked her why she was so jittery but she just brushed it off.
Shin looked completely unfazed since the party, as if nothing had happened at all, and that just made her even more anxious.
After they ate Shin was the perfect image of unwinding after a hard day of calling out your partner's mistakes at work, just lounging on her couch watching TV. Noi could still feel his disapproving gaze watching her from the corner of his eyes all the way from the living room.
She was going around her kitchen putting things away but her brain didn’t even process what she was actually doing. She tried hard not to meet his eyes from over the counter, but when Shin sighed a few times a little too loudly for any purpose other than getting her attention and she still ignored him, his irritation flared up.
“Noi, why are you like this? Please stop and sit down,” he didn’t even bother to turn around and look at her, he was still sprawled over half of the couch with one leg up, foot resting on the coffee table.
Noi walked to the living room and noticed that the half of the couch that was not occupied by Shin’s open legs was full of food wrapping leftover from their dinner. She stood there for half a second trying to remember what she was doing in the kitchen if she’d left all the wrapping where she sat before and didn’t even clean up. But apparently half a second was too long for Shin.
“Just come sit already.”
Noi frowned and looked at him, then pointedly at his leg blocking her way. He still had his eyes fixed on the TV and didn’t give any indication that he’d noticed that his propped up leg was on her way. His other leg was stretched on the floor and the only available free space on the couch was where he was currently sitting. And also between his spread legs. It looked like the spot was made for her. She was sure that she’d fit perfectly there.
So Noi stood there for another second and watched the blue light of whatever was on TV reflecting on his glasses. Meanwhile Shin didn’t make any move to clear the couch for her or lower his leg. She knew she could just go around the couch and clear the space herself, but she decided to sit between his legs anyway.
At best she would get a good reaction from him that would fuel her happiness for days.
At worst she would lose her arm temporarily.
It was worth the risk, so she sat down.
And his reaction was instant.
“Noi,” his tone was stern and his voice seemed to cut out at the end when she settled down and got comfortable. After that outburst he didn’t move or said anything. She was right, it was like the spot was made for her.
They did this often, her pushing and him pulling until he gave in, and it always left her wanting more. And Noi was proud to be shameless even though sometimes the moment passed leaving her feeling a bit guilty, but last time was the confirmation she was looking for that he enjoyed this too. Maybe he even liked it as much as she did.
Even though her eyes were glued to the tv screen, Noi wouldn’t be able to tell what show was airing if her life depended on it. Not when her back was so close to Shin’s chest that she thought she could actually feel how fast his heart was beating.
She knew he was probably overthinking the shit out of what was happening.
“You good, Senpai?” Noi asked in a soft tone as she pressed her back slightly closer against him, she was trying for the nonverbal communication they did often, the comforting touch they gave each other regularly. She wanted to convey somehow that this was fine, she sat down there of her own volition, and if he wanted out she could leave just as easily, but Shin’s breathing hitched, and that wasn’t their normal response when one tried to reassure the other.
His hands were clenched fists on top of his thighs on either side of her. Okay, she could read his body language accurately after all the years, but it was obvious to anyone who saw it.
And that's all the nonverbal response she needed, he was uncomfortable. And not in a fun way.
The guilt started to simmer in her gut like all the other times before, she really thought that what happened at the party meant that feeling was gone for good. Again she half wished she was still a devil in training, she didn’t feel guilty at all about her communication skills back then.
Noi started adjusting her feet to pull herself away from him and would have been up from his lap in half a second-- laughter and excuses ready on her lips, if he hadn’t held her arm and mumbled something that sounded a lot like stay .
So she stayed, she held her breath and didn’t know if she stayed because he said so or just because her body froze with the shock of hearing him actually ask her to stay.
Noi was still static when Shin let go of her arm and moved his hands in an aborted motion, she was expecting him to touch her again but he just rested palm down, back where they were before on top of his thighs. He let out a long sigh and that reminded her that she also had to breathe.
Did she hear him right?
"Stay," this time he said loud and clear, and now Noi was sure her heart was beating faster than his. Impossibly fast.
She was actually sure of that because they were properly touching now, somehow she moved back after she’d started breathing again and she could feel his heartbeat against her back. And with every beat her brain chanted more , more, more.
And for the first time she thinks she could actually have more.
Noi relaxed and rested her back harder against him, and then some more, until her back was flush against his chest and she felt more than heard when Shin sucked in a sharp breath.
And when that breath left his mouth so did a sound that was so familiar to her since that night. She didn’t stop thinking about that moan since then.
She could have more. Her brain felt like it was about to melt with the knowledge that she was right.
She adjusted her hips closer to him and his legs seemed to part a little to make room for her, his hands slid down to rest against her belly, in a half embrace. None of these movements seemed voluntary. Even though she couldn’t see his face he seemed like he was in a trance, and she felt the same.
It was as if her body was sedated all over, his hands tightened against her stomach before slowly, gently his arms circled her completely.
With them in this position, it felt natural for her to slide her hands from her thighs to rest on his.
They stayed quiet for a few moments, just holding each other. She could only hear the sound of the tv, which seemed so far away, and his steady breathing behind her.
Noi was enjoying how warm he felt around her, and carefully, just as slowly as he’d hugged her, she started moving her thumb against his leg that was still propped up against the coffee table.
She could feel how warm he was through the rough fabric, her fingers caressing his thighs through his pants felt almost unbearably intimate somehow.
She was still expecting some kind of protest to come out of this action, even after everything, this spike of fear lasted only a second before Shin rested his forehead against her hair in the back of her head.
He breathed in deeply and she didn’t know if he was trying to calm himself down or trying to breathe in the smell of her hair.
Noi stopped the gentle circles she was tracing with her thumb when she felt him starting to move against the back of her head, his face was buried against her hair now and she could feel herself starting to blush.
It was very hard to make her blush.
Suddenly she felt his lips brushing against the back of her neck, her back arched involuntarily at the sensation and-- Oh.
His boner was pressing against her. The shape of it unmistakably flush against her ass.
“Noi, I-” Shin started speaking but his voice gave out, she used her hand on his legs as leverage to turn more towards him. His face was still nuzzling against her hair, but now his mouth was near her ear.
She felt him breathing against her ear and her body trembled in response. Her hands travelled lower on his thighs, still slowly as if she would scare him off if she went too fast.
“Noi?” his voice sounded wrecked and Noi wanted to answer him but couldn’t find her own voice. She wanted to say something, anything to reassure him. There was so much she wanted to say but she could never find the words, and in the silence she started growing scared that he’d stop her again.
It happened so many times before, right when they were on the cusp of the fall.
She quickly tried to think of something that would make him stay.
Anything to let her stay there where she was, she’d always wanted this, as long as she could remember. She just wanted to stay in his arms, but she couldn’t let him know the weight of that want. He would be scared. She was scared.
“Let’s just have fun, Senpai.” she tried to make it sound teasing and light, but her voice came out deeper than normal and in the back of her mind she was aware that she sounded desperate instead.
At that point she was desperate. She never felt this turned on before.
Noi squeezed her hand on his thigh and resumed her path down, he didn’t protest or move but she needed to know if he was okay with where this was inevitably going. If Shin was okay with this, not just his body. She could still feel his erection pressed against her and her hand was getting closer to it. He was openly panting next to her ear now. She hesitated before asking.
“Senpai?”, she hadn’t even finished speaking when he replied with an enthusiastic yes between breaths, arms tightening around her middle when Noi’s hands reached their destination and her thumb brushed against his cock.
She could feel the scrape of the scars in his arm against her belly even through her shirt.
Shin let out a broken sound when she slipped her hand between their bodies and gripped him at the base over his pants, and Noi could die from hearing him make sounds like this. Then all thoughts fled her and her brain melted completely because Shin started kissing her neck.
Noi felt the cold metal frame of his glasses dragging lightly against her ear before his lips met the skin of her neck, and she couldn’t stop the moan that escaped her.
She started moving her hand against his erection, she could feel how hard he was even through the fabric dragging on her palm. He was bigger than she imagined, and she imagined very vividly after the party. Shin’s body was completely still while she pressed her hand up his entire length, only his mouth moving, kissing her neck below her ear.
His kisses began to grow frantic, open mouth kisses that made her dizzy.
Noi felt the drag of his tongue against her skin right when her hand brushed the head of his dick where the fabric of his pants were damp. She kept moving up, she started fumbling with the waistband of his sweats, her hand brushed against the bare skin of his lower abdomen and that's when she noted that she was shaking.
She realized through the fogginess of her arousal that she was still afraid of scaring him away. Her other hand was gripping his leg hard, and she loosened her vice like grip a little. She would die on the spot if he left her there, she would die on her couch and no magic could bring her back.
Her entire body was trembling now, she was also aware of how uncomfortable the position they were in would get soon, but then she managed to slip her hand under his waistband and of course Shin wasn’t wearing any underwear.
Holy fuck .
She felt heady with the sensation of the weight of his cock in her hand, the surprise of how hot and wet he felt made the full reality of what they were doing, of what they were about to do, hit her. There was no coming back now, the only thing that could possibly stop her was Shin, and he seemed to be enjoying himself.
Her hand tightened around him, her thumb stroked his head where more precum was leaking and Shin thrusted up her tight grip, his hips moving in short aborted movements, like he couldn’t help it, as if he had struggled to keep still all this time and finally lost the fight.
And Noi couldn’t believe the sounds coming out of his mouth. Broken sounds as if he was trying to say something, maybe her name, but lost control of his throat.
Shin made a sound that seemed more like a word, “Ah- yes,” before biting hard on her heck and Noi whined loudly, not caring how she sounded anymore. She kept stroking the tip of his cock, she needed to hear more of those sounds. She loved how much he was leaking against her hand. She loved hearing him against her ear. She loved him.
“Please,” he whispered against her neck, and that word alone sent a wave of pleasure through her. “ Please ,” this one was broken in the middle by a moan. And that broke her.
Noi turned to him and looked at his face for the first time since they'd started this, whatever this was. Shin’s glasses were crooked on his face, his eyes squeezed shut. And he looked absolutely wrecked. His expression looked broken like she never saw before, not even after their hardest job he looked like this. His brows were furrowed as if he was suffering, his mouth was glistening wet but shut tightly now that she turned to him, from this up close she could see how red his face was, beads of sweat appearing on his forehead.
Her other hand grabbed at his pants and pulled it down enough so she could grip him properly, she stroked him once and his mouth opened, on the second stroke his hips thrusted up to meet her fist, his head tilting back and meeting the back of the couch with a thump .
His neck was open and exposed to her, she wanted to kiss it. She wanted so much. Noi pushed his legs down and swung her own over his, she ended up straddling his lap to be able to reach her goal of kissing his neck.
She stopped before to admire Shin panting through his open mouth, his body so open under her, his cock red against his grey pants. Her hands never stopped working on him lazilly, making slick sounds from how wet he was now, then finally, finally she lowered her face to his neck.
He smelled like sweat and after licking up his neck Noi concluded that he was the best thing she had ever tasted. She gave a few open mouthed kisses on his throat before his entire body started shaking under hers. Her hand sped up a little and when she looked up to admire the view again, he didn’t seem quite there.
“Senpai, look at me,” she didn’t recognize her own voice, “ Shin .” He gave a few gasps, as if trying to control himself, he finally opened his eyes and looked up at her.
When their eyes met it felt like she was shocked, like she got punched in the gut. It was too intense, she felt way too exposed, and she guessed he felt similarly because he shut his eyes again. Shin froze and his mouth opened wider, letting out the loudest moan until now.
His hips thrusted up once, hard enough to take Noi out of her stupor and make her look down just in time to see him come all over his shirt. She held him and stroked him at the base of his cock until he was done.
Fuck, that was hot.
“Fuck, that was hot,” her thoughts went unfiltered through her mouth now.
Shin was still panting through his open mouth and she wanted to kiss him.
So she did.
It was messy and wet, Noi brushed her tongue against his and he went boneless under her before kissing her back. It was their first kiss and she felt desperate, because even after everything that just happened she still couldn’t believe she was kissing Shin. She couldn’t believe he was kissing her back just as desperately.
“Shin,” she managed to say between kisses, she felt like she could do this forever. Noi lifted the hand that was not holding his cock to cradle the side of his face, her thumb caressing his cheeks. He was still hard against her, she didn’t want to let go.
Shin's hands had ended up grabbing the back of her shirt when she turned to him, and he used it as leverage to pull her closer against him. His hips thrusted up and he made a high pitched sound against her mouth.
Noi broke the kiss despite her entire body protesting against it, and watched as he moved his hips against her again and made another sound that seemed a little too strained. Shin breathed in deeply and opened his eyes.
His gaze seemed unfocused, pupils dilated, but their eyes were locked.
“Please, don’t stop,” he said, still holding her gaze, his assertiveness made her catch her breath, and she felt like she caught on fire when he thrusted up into her loose grip once more, his back arching and head hanging back.
It looked painful, but he was into it, he was coming undone all over again under her and she was really into it.
Noi gripped his cock loosely and started moving her hand again, he was still as hard as before, his reactions were too intense for how slow she was going.
She glanced down between them and saw the mess he made, how his abdomen contracted with the movements of her fist, his shirt was soaking wet with his sweat and was practically transparent.
The way he was squirming was making her go insane, her brain could not keep up.
“Senpai… Senpai, do you have any idea how you look right now? how good you look like this?” he responded with a loud groan between gasps. Noi kissed down his neck to busy her mouth and tried to stop herself from spilling more than she wanted, but it was like a damn broke.
She couldn’t stop what had already started.
“I’ve wanted you...” she kept speaking in between kisses, hopeless now, “I’ve wanted this for so long, Shin,” she tightened her grip in his cock.
“Yes- Noi,” it sounded like he was trying to form coherent sentences but couldn’t, he tightened his grip on the back of her shirt.
There was a noise of fabric ripping behind her but that was meaningless at the moment.
“I’ve always wanted to wreck you like this, just like this,” she sped up her hand in his cock and grabbed the side of his waist with the other, “like this, just for me,” she felt the vibration of the half scream he let out at her words.
“ Noi- ” she would die from hearing him say her name like that, this was going to be her end.
“Wanted to feel you, Senpai, I’ve been going crazy since that night at the party,” Noi looked at his face and saw his lips mouthing yes between his gasps.
“Did you want me then? at the party?”, she still didn’t recognize her own voice, she felt possessed, he answered “Yes” again with a little more force behind his words, and she lost herself even more with that.
“Senpai, did you touch yourself after the party?” again, yes , she lowered herself to his ear, “did you think of me?”
“Noi, yes ,”
“I’ve been going crazy since then, can’t stop thinking about it.”
“I’ve noticed,” he managed to sound smug even though he was out of breath, it made her speed up her hand even more, and that shut him up. The sounds they were making were the most obscene thing she’d ever heard.
“Can’t stop thinking that I should have just dropped on my knees at the party, just wanted to taste you, Senpai,” he sucked in a shuddering breath at that, “want to...” and he was back to making incoherent noises.
Something clicked through the fog of horniness in her mind, she could, she didn't have to hide what she wanted anymore ”I want to taste you, Senpai, can I blow you?” she just gets a hissed yes as a response.
In one fluid motion she slid down to the floor between his legs, and the view might be even better from down there, especially because Shin was making direct eye contact with her again, mouth hanging open, and she had to stop herself from going up and kissing him again.
Noi gripped him at the base and licked the head of his cock experimentally, that taste was new to her and that just made her want more. All the moving she had to do to get to the floor made her very aware of how wet she was, but her own arousal had been in the back of her mind all this time because doing this to Shin was too intoxicating on it’s own.
She could wreck him even more.
The thought spurred her own and she sank down, mouth slack to accommodate him inside. It felt like an invasion, but a very welcomed one, his taste was stronger and more bitter now that his cock was against her tongue. And oh , she really enjoyed feeling his weight there, heavy and so warm inside her.
When she imagined this before the abstract idea of sucking him off turned her on, but nothing could have prepared her for the reality of it. The hand that was not holding his erection snaked between her legs and she pressed hard over her pants. The pressure on her swollen clit sent sparks of pleasure through her body.
Noi sank lower and when her lips met her hand Shin's hips bucked up, her hand stopped him from hitting the back of her throat, but it was still hard enough that made her gag a little.
His face was red and his eyes were shut tight again. The movement didn't seem voluntary, but she couldn't work like that, so she braced his hips with her forearm, pinning him down on the couch. Now that her hand wasn't in the way and he was secured under her arms, she could take him deeper at her own pace, and she wasted no time.
He was getting louder by the second, her arm holding him still. When she tried hollowing her cheeks she felt him struggling to thrust up under her grip, felt the muscle of his lower abdomen twitching under her arm, and he seemed to enjoy this as much as she did. And she enjoyed it too much.
She pressed hard between her legs again and the feeling of him trashing under her arm, his cock pulsing on her mouth, the broken sounds he was making overwhelmed her and she felt the waves of her orgasm hitting her.
Noi groaned around his cock and struggled to keep her jaw relaxed as she came, then she felt him pulse against her tongue and she struggled to swallow everything without choking.
Once she was able to think clearly she let him go and slumped back, bracing herself on his thighs. She felt tired down to her bones, all the adrenaline left her all at once, but it was a good kind of exhaustion.
Shin didn’t look any better, he was taking deep breaths, it seemed like he was struggling to lift his arm to wipe the sweat off his face. Noi watched with a smile on her face as he grunted with the effort.
After he successfully wiped his face, he blinked down at her, and when their eyes met they burst out laughing.
She felt so happy she could burst with it, body empty of anything else but this giddy feeling that made her laugh uncontrollably. He managed to stop his giggles before her and after a few seconds and she felt Shin’s hand touch the arm that was slouched across his thighs.
“Noi, are you good?” he was still out of breath from laughing and from… everything else they did, but even so she could hear the traces of embarrassment in his voice. She looked up at him with a questioning look, still trying to control her laughter.
The way he was looking at her was too intense, there was something there now that she’d never noticed before.
“Can I do anything for you?” there wasn’t any embarrassment left in his voice anymore, he ran his hands over her arm, thumb drawing lazy circles. And that action got the point across to her. She widened her eyes.
“Oh, no, I’m good for now Senpai, like, really good,” no one could blame her if her brain was still running half speed, “can I save that for another time?” she rested her head on his thighs and smiled up at him.
“Anytime,” he gave her a soft look now, and she could get used to this. He stroked her hair then shamelessly added, “anything you want. Anytime.”
Even after everything she was still surprised he would be so forward.
“Anything??” even the mock in her voice didn’t mask how happy she was. He smiled back at her and hummed as a response. “You know you’re gonna regret saying this.”
Their eyes met and they were back to laughing.
Noi was the first one to recover this time, she pulled his pants back up for him while he was still trying to catch his breath. Shin threw the food wrappings that were still on the couch on the ground with a swipe of his hands, then helped Noi up off the floor.
The second she sat on the couch she felt sleep taking over, what stopped her from passing out right there was the noise of disgust coming from Shin and then she was entertained with his expression looking down at his soaked shirt, he peeled it off his torso and threw it in a corner.
He looked hesitantly at her for half a second before he took her face in his hands and kissed her gently.
When he pulled away he had that soft look on his face again.
“Let’s go to bed.”