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Scar Tissue

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Stella stared into the mirror and sighed as she slipped her arms into her red bathing suit top. She’d never been one to fixate on the way her body looked in a negative way, but something just didn’t feel right lately. Recently she even found herself hiding it from Dana who she’d never felt the need to hide from before. Swimming used to be her main form of exercise but now that she wasn’t doing it as habitually, she felt as though she’d gained a bit of weight. Her scars felt prominent, her face was often broken out from all the stress work was causing, her hair seemed dry. Overall she just felt bad. 

She slipped a t-shirt on her bikini clad frame and made her way out to the bedroom to find her girlfriend sitting in a chic black one piece that hugged her curves flawlessly. Stella thought she was utterly glowing and she couldn’t help but smile. 

“Ready to go?” Dana asked as she did a once over, smiling at the blonde. 

Stella nodded and the two of them made their way out into the living room where the Scully boys were patiently waiting in their swim trunks with floaties already strapped to their arms. 

“Let’s go pipsqueaks!” Dana called as she made her way to the front door and grabbed the two overstuffed pool bags.

Since the night they’d first babysat Dana’s nephews, the boys seemed to constantly be around. It made Dana happy to have them there, and truthfully Stella enjoyed their company too; and now that summer had finally arrived they got to be the best aunts ever and take them to the community pool in their neighborhood. 

Both women had been looking forward to this day for weeks but now that it was actually here Stella found herself wanting to just cancel all together. She wanted to be with Dana and the boys but she didn’t want to be out at a public pool. Not when she felt like this. 

As they walked she began to feel a little better,  loosening up as she laughed and joked with Matthew and Max. 

The second they got to the pool, the boys threw everything they were holding to the ground so they could run and jump in. Dana yelled for them to wait, but they were already bobbing in the shallow end by then. She joined them quickly, not wanting them in there alone, leaving Stella to set up their spot. 

Once four pool chairs were pulled into a corner with their bags and towels resting on them, Stella slowly made her way into the pool. She took a few steps in, trying to adjust to the water, but she was bored by the time it was up to her knees so she shed her t-shirt and sank her entire body into it at once. 

She swam back and forth from the shallow end to the deep end repeatedly, grateful they were the only ones there. Dana kept the boys entertained in the shallow end: playing, splashing and giggling. 

Stella felt the tension in her body loosen with each stroke of her arms through the cool chlorinated water. It had been a while since she swam on a regular schedule; she no longer needed it the way she used to. Not since she met Dana. That didn’t mean it wasn’t still nice to do when she got to, though. 

After a while she’d tired herself out and joined Dana and the boys by the steps of the pool, lifting Max up into her arms. He kicked and giggled as she lifted him, one of his floaties bumping against her arm as he flailed.

“You swim just like those guys at the olympics. How do you know how to do that? Is swimming your job?” Matthew asked. 

Stella couldn’t hold back her laugh as she shook her head.

“No, I just have lots of practice.” She replied. 

He looked amazed. “Wow. Can you teach me?!” He asked, his voice raising a whole octave. 

Stella nodded and held her hand out to him, leading him out to the deep end as Dana turned her attention back to Max. 

 

The boys swam for hours, seemingly never tiring, and if Dana didn’t know any better she’d think they were fish in disguise. She and Stella had to practically drag them out of the pool to reapply sunscreen and eat the sandwiches the redhead had packed earlier that morning. A couple other people had started to arrive, so it was no longer quiet and they were no longer on their own. The calm that had taken over Stella started to dissolve, though she held onto it with everything in her. She had just gotten herself distracted, shutting out the stress threatening to invade her brain when she felt Matthew’s hand and heard his mousey little voice. 

“Aunt Stella, what’s that?” 

He asked as he held out his little finger and ran it over the raised skin on her thighs. Stella froze in panic, staring at the boy with wide eyes. His cold sticky finger felt like a feather as he so gently touched with curiosity. She begged herself to speak, to come up with something to say to him, but she was frozen. 

“Aunt Stella used to have a dog,” Dana intervened, moving his finger away from her leg, “He scratched her a lot.” 

The boy stared at them a few moments longer before he seemed satisfied with that answer and turned back to his peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Stella looked at Dana with wide wet eyes, unsure of what to do or say. The redhead simply shook her head, trying to reassure her with her eyes that everything was fine. 

It wasn’t lost on her, though, that Stella was quiet the rest of the day. She didn’t get back in the pool, she wasn’t laughing at the jokes, or joining in on their conversations. The only times she really spoke were when the boys had a question to ask her. 

 

When they got back to the house, Dana got Matthew and Max some crackers and juice and settled them on the couch to wait for their parents. Stella had disappeared into their bedroom as soon as they got home, but just when Dana was heading down the hall to check on her she saw the blonde walking towards her, already changed into pajama pants and a t-shirt. 

“You okay?” She asked once she reached her, pulling Stella tightly into her arms. 

“I’m fine.” She whispered against her neck, kissing her cheek before slipping past her to the living room. 

When Stella got to the couch, both boy’s eyes lit up and they made room for her to sit between them. Dana observed as Stella sat with blank eyes, deep in thought. Her lips were curled up into a smile as she held the little boys close, but her eyes didn’t match it. 

The doorbell finally rang and Dana went to answer it, Matthew and Max following close behind. Stella stayed in her place on the couch, staring off into a void. 

It only took a few minutes after the front door closed and the boys were gone for Stella to finally break. Tears began to stream down her face and she felt the sobs trying to build in her throat. She tried to push them down, but they came up anyway and she slapped her hand over her mouth to try to quiet them. Despite her best attempts she couldn’t keep it at bay and loud heart wrenching sobs started to come out of her, immediately drawing Dana's attention. The redhead ran to her side, wrapping her arms around her tightly. 

“Stella, hey, look at me.” She begged, but the blonde stayed with her hands plastered over her eyes and mouth.

Dana kneeled on the floor in front of her and brushed her hair to the side, trying to prevent it from sticking to her cheeks that were wet with tears. 

“Stella, what is the matter?” She tried again, pulling the blonde’s hands away from her face. 

Stella refused to look up, but she sat with her fingers laced into Dana’s as she tried to take deep breaths. 

Her eyes were glued to their hands as she spoke. “My fucking scars.” Was all she could manage. 

Dana’s eyes squeezed shut as she sighed, tightening her grip on Stella’s hands. 

“I’ve told you before Stella, nothing about this part of your story could ever make me love you any less or think any less of you.”

“But what if he tells Bill and Bill knows what they actually are? What if he doesn’t let you see them anymore because of... because of me?” She asked with a shaky breath. 

“Well then, Bill is even more of an insensitive ignorant moron than I thought. It will be fine Stella. Even if that were to happen, I'm with you. Nothings going to change that.” 

Stella’s eyes finally raised to meet Dana’s, though they were still full of tears. 

“When he touched them he... he was so gentle. It was so innocent and light, with such concern. Such a contrast to what caused them.” 

The room fell silent for a few minutes, as Dana let Stella finish calming down. 

What can I do? How do I remind you how loved and cherished you are? Dana thought to herself. 

An idea came to her and she pulled at the bottom of Stella's pant leg, shimmying them down, stopping once they reached the middle of her thigh. She looked up at her with reassurance, reminding her she’d never hurt her. 

Stella's breath caught in her throat as she felt Dana's lips feather light kisses over each and every scar that laid atop her thighs. She was so soft and so gentle, a feeling Stella had never experienced before, causing tears to well up in her eyes all over again. 

Dana switched to her left leg, repeating her actions. She began to kiss her way up higher, but didn’t linger long before she moved back to the raised lines of skin. 

“No, keep going.” Stella breathed, making Dana stop and look up at her. 

Stella pulled her face up to hers and entrapped her in a kiss, pulling away after a moment to stare at her girlfriend, memorizing each and every little freckle that adorned her pale face. Her lips found the redheads again, her actions desperate and needy. 

“Stel, are you sure this is what you want right now?” Dana asked as they stopped to take a breath. 

Sure didn’t even begin to describe how Stella felt. She felt safe, she felt worthy, she felt worshipped, and she felt loved. She wanted to be close to Dana. She wanted to be as close to Dana as she possibly could. 

“Yes.” She muttered breathlessly. 

Their lips crashed together again as Dana straddled Stella’s lap, wrapping her hands around the back of her neck. Stella reached out and felt up the back of her damp bathing suit, exploring every inch of her. Dana’s tongue darted out to intertwine with her own, as they each became more and more desperate with want. She peeled away and began to push Stella back until her head was resting against the arm rest. Dana moved so that she was kneeling between her legs, and tugged at the grey fabric of her pants to get them the rest of the way off before returning to her lips. Stella wrapped her arms around Dana’s torso to hold her close, craving the feeling of her body against her own. 

The next time they stopped for air, Dana leaned back so she was kneeling between Stella’s legs again and started to pull her panties down. The blonde spread her legs eagerly, ready to feel Dana inside of her. She started off by teasing her slightly, but Stella groaned and grabbed her wrist, pulling her hand right to her center. 

“Please Dana, I need to feel you, right now.” She said low and sultry. 

Dana pulled her hand away but nodded with a lustful smile, leaning to set her face between her thighs. Her wet tongue darted out and gently slid between Stella’s folds, causing her to gasp with relief and anticipation. The redhead repeated her action a few times as she felt Stella’s wetness growing, before dipping her tongue shallowly into her entrance. Stella moaned in approval, encouraging Dana to venture deeper, tasting and humming as she did. She reached up underneath her shirt and squeezed her breast, pinching her nipple softly as her tongue continued its rhythm. Stella gasped again and Dana could feel her walls slowly starting to tighten around her as her orgasm built. She quickly retreated, causing Stella to groan in frustration. Dana wanted to prolong it just a bit, if she could. 

She moved up and planted her lips on Stella’s, slipping her tongue into her mouth to make her taste herself. The blonde hummed, beginning to grind her hips up against Dana’s thigh, desperate to feel her again, but the redhead pushed them down firmly to stop her. 

“Patience, love.” She whispered as her lips ventured to Stella's neck, finding her pulse point as her fingers reached down to tease her folds again. Stella whined, squeezing her eyes shut tightly to try to control herself. 

“Pleas-“ She began, though she was cut short as she felt Dana’s finger press down lightly on her clit. 

“Ohhh, Dana! Mmmm.” Stella moaned as she began to move in slow methodical circles. 

She started to grind her hips up again, trying to build friction, and Dana decided she had teased her long enough. She quickly sat up, and moved back between her legs again. She pressed her tongue down on her clit firmly and started to move in quicker, rough strokes as she slipped a finger inside her. Stella yelled out, feeling her orgasm rebuilding quickly. She was right at the edge. Dana added a second finger and pumped faster, her tongue and fingers going in a steady rhythm with each other. 

The previously silent house was now filled with Stella’s cries and moans as Dana worked her to her climax. Dana felt her walls tighten firmly around her fingers and slowed them as she came against her hand. She moved her mouth back up to Stella’s and kissed her lovingly as she rode out the last of her orgasm. 

Dana pulled back and brushed Stella’s hair out of her face with her free hand as she gave her a moment to recover. She pulled her fingers out and sucked Stella’s juices off them slowly, watching her as she did so. Though Stella was spent, she mustered up a smile and shook her head. 

“You never fail to surprise me, Dr. Scully.” She whispered, her chest still heaving. 

The redhead laid with her head resting on the blonde’s shoulder, holding her close. The house was silent again as they cuddled, allowing Stella to catch her breath.

“Give me a minute, and I’ll return the favor.” She whispered with her eyes closed as her fingers gently combed through Dana’s hair. 

“Nooo, no. This was just for you. And now you’re tired, let yourself rest.” 

Stella opened one eye and glanced down to the redhead, wanting to protest, though she was too tired to do so. 

“I love you, Stella. Every part of you.” Dana said, running her fingers lightly over Stella’s scarred skin. 

A small smile painted the blonde’s face, though she didn’t open her eyes. 

“I love you so much. I can’t believe I get to be loved by you.” She whispered, pulling Dana even closer as she drifted off to sleep.