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We Are Free Now

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It was just past 6:00 on a rainy Saturday evening.  He had finished his dinner, and tried to situate himself comfortably on the bed in his camper van. Having settled, he started skimming through the pages of his Men in Kilts notes. This project was something he was really proud of, happy to be a part of, something he would consider his life's work. Scotland was his home. He and his ex co-star, and now good friend, Graham, both couldn’t wait for MiK to hit the small screen. It didn’t take him long to realize how much he wanted to share this journey with everybody.

 

With her.

 

Lost in thought, he smiled to himself when he heard the soft knocking on the door. Frowning, he looked out the window and saw a familiar figure standing in the rain, in a dark raincoat, shivering. He quickly got up from the bed and walked to the door. 

 

“What are you doing here?” He asked as he opened the door, and his voice was calm and low, thick. He didn’t even recognize it himself.

 

Ignoring the question, she unceremoniously walked in, and started to look around herself, studying this new location. “This is where you live now, Sam? Not gonna lie, it took me some time to find your new home.”

 

“Caitriona...” He sighed. “This is not my home, I kind of, work here...” 

 

“Of course,” she said softly and turned her head.

 

Their eyes finally met and the look on her face told him everything. He could see sorrow, pain, and loneliness in her big blue orbs, and it made his heart clench in his chest. Swallowing, he almost opened his mouth to speak again, but she cut him off.

 

“It’s been almost a week. You don’t return my calls and won’t text me back...” Her voice was almost breaking as she spoke, but she did her best to hold back her emotions. “Why are you doing this to me? I told you I filed the divorce papers, and suddenly you don’t want to talk to me anymore. Isn’t that what you wanted? All this time? I’m free now. It’s over. We are free.”

 

"Free." He echoed and stared at the ceiling.

 

The heavy raindrops were falling from her raincoat to the floor creating a pool around her feet, when she felt a hot tear roll down her cheek. “Sam? Look at me, please.” Her shoulders trembled.

 

He couldn’t stand seeing her cry, especially when he knew he was the reason. “Please, don’t cry. I just...needed time to process. And, I needed to be alone. This is not something you easily take and move on quickly, Cait.”

 

"Oh... So, well, have you processed it, yet? You didn’t let me explain myself that day, just hung up on me with a “I have to go.” when I called you, and… I--”

 

“You’re shaking. Are you cold? I’ll make you a hot tea.” He said and quickly disappeared into the kitchen. He couldn’t help it. He knew he had to take care of her no matter what. She meant to him more than anything, and he promised himself a long time ago, that no matter what happens, he would always care for her. His hands were shaking, and he could feel the vein pulsating on his neck. For a brief second it seemed to him that he could hear his own heartbeat. The effect she had on him was undeniable.

 

Left alone in the middle of the trailer, she started to unbutton her coat, and when she reached the last button she slowly took it off and threw it on the chair. Stepping out of her damp boots, she took a step forward and sat on the bed. With a small smile she glanced over the notes that he left there, when she saw him come back with the cup of tea in his hands. He put the cup on the table near her when he finally noticed what she was wearing. Light blue sweater he never told her was his favorite, black shorts and black stockings that so exquisitely hugged her long legs. That sight made his mouth water. He caught himself thinking of nothing else but jumping on her right then, taking her, spreading her legs, and making her moan. Making her his.

 

“Thank you,” she said, quietly, and her voice snapped him back to reality.

 

They sat in silence, as she sipped on her tea, and he studied her face, fighting himself not to look any lower, and avoiding staring at her thighs.

 

“These…stockings. They're...sexy.” He finally said and mentally punched himself in the face. His heart was crashing in his chest, he didn’t know what he was saying, and his head was dizzy.

 

She smiled, but her face immediately got back to serious, and she put the cup away. “Sam...”

 

“Cait...”, he decided it was his turn to interrupt her now. “Look, I don’t want you to think that I don’t care about what you told me. I do. I just really needed time to process it all. What it was gonna mean for me, for us. But, you know, I couldn’t help but think, why now? Why after a year and a half… Why, Cait?”

 

“Because I realized that I still...love you. It’s that simple. I. Love. You.” She sighed, and her forehead started to sweat. “I’m sorry. For everything.”

 

“You hurt me.”

 

“Please… I hurt me, too. I just thought that things would be so different, if...”

 

“If what?”

 

“If I moved on with my life, if I started to belong to someone else… I was so stupid and so wrong. I couldn’t. I couldn’t forget, and I couldn’t move on, and I couldn’t...anything, because my heart was still here, it was beating for you. Because I belong to you.”

 

He watched her as she spoke nervously playing with the sleeves of her sweater, and a feeling of relief began to run through his veins, making him burn inside. He couldn’t speak. His mind was spiraling. Little he knew, when he woke up this morning, after another dream about having her, that she would come to him here, in the flesh, and make his dreams come true.

 

"What did he say?"

 

She looked at him and took a deep breath. "He, umm... He said he knew, that it was gonna happen. He said he knew, that I never loved him." She paused before she added, "He was right. I didn't. Because I loved you. All this time."

 

He studied her face, she didn't seem to be so unobtainable anymore. He stood up from the chair, took a couple of steps, and knelt in front of her. “I never stopped loving you, either,” he whispered, and put his hand on her leg. “It was so hard, god... Do you know how hard it was for me? I never dared to speak out loud. But, I was literally suffering, pretending everything was fine, when it wasn't. Being around you and not being able to touch you like I wanted? It was hell.”

 

“I'm so sorry..." She was weeping. "You can now, you can touch me now,” she whispered, looking into his teary eyes, and he saw that she was on the verge of tears, too. “I don’t wanna talk about the past anymore. It’s over. It’s gonna be you and me now. And, it’s gonna be different. But, only if you still want it. If you still want me.”

 

He almost lost his mind completely. “Fuck, Caitriona, you’re driving me insane. Do I want you? Really? Of course, I want you. I crave you. Every minute of every day… I’m anxious to touch you. Everywhere.” He got closer to her, so his face was only a few inches from hers, and their lips were slightly brushing against each other.

 

“I'm so damn in love with you. God, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you." She couldn't stop repeating the same three words into his mouth, over and over. "I want to kiss you… Please?” she asked and left her mouth open for him, leaning closer. He felt her hot breath on his lips, and it was enough for him to give in and immediately capture hers. They both froze for a second when their mouths finally met as they simply needed a moment to enjoy this. He started kissing her with full force, passion, desperation. Like she was the air he needed, and he was drowning in the ocean.

 

As they savored each other’s mouths, lost in the moment, both realized they needed more and needed it now. And then, everything happened as if they planned or rehearsed it multiple times. So natural, so quick, so...them. She had to break the kiss to take off her sweater and the t-shirt that was under it, exposing her bare breasts. Tossing her clothes aside, she watched him take off his black t-shirt, throwing it next to hers. She stood up and let him pull down her shorts and she stepped out of them. Falling on his knees again, he grabbed her left leg, placed it on his right shoulder, and she clumsily fell back on the bed. 

 

He started kissing her inner thighs, breathing her in, while his fingers danced on her right leg. 

 

“Should I…take them off, too?” She asked, her hand reached her stockings, and she began to pull them down.

 

“No! Leave the stockings on. Please.” 

 

She nodded, and he went up to kiss her lips again. She moaned into his mouth, quivered against him. Something inside her stomach started to turn into familiar knots. He landed his mouth on her pulsating neck which made her throw her head back and arch her spine. Her face was flushed and her fingers were slowly caressing his soft hair as he continued to cover her neck and her clavicle with hot, wet kisses. His palm touched her thigh, and he stopped the kiss to look into her eyes.

 

“I can touch you?” Left his lips and sounded more like a confirmation rather than a question.

 

“Yes, I need it...right now, please...touch me.” Her heart was pounding in her chest, his soft lips on her neck already spread fire throughout her whole body. And, then, oh, finally, his fingers pushed aside her wet panties and touched her slick, burning flesh. She shivered and bit her lip when he started running his fingertips up and down her slit, getting closer and closer to her most sensitive bundle. His skilled fingers rubbed her so gently, but it was enough to make her feel. She was holding her breath in anticipation and her whole body craved more touches. It was a nerve-wracking wait as he kept running his fingers across her entrance, but still hesitating to dive in deeper.

 

“Sam, please… I want...” She panted with her head still thrown back and her mouth half open.

 

“What, Cait? What do you want? Tell me.”

 

She lifted her head to look at him, then put his face into her hands and whispered into his mouth, “Make me come.”

 

She knew it was coming and yet it made her cry out in surprise when he slid two fingers inside her and pressed his thumb against her aching clit. He knew her body better than she knew it herself, and it never ceased to amaze her how good and right his fingers always felt on her, in her.

 

“You are so wet with want... I'm gonna make you come so hard you will forget your own name as you'll be screaming mine...” he was murmuring into her chest, doing circles with his fingers inside her. He used his other hand to play with her breasts, paying attention to her soft but hardened nipples, pinching them, then taking them into his mouth, sucking and licking them, making her moan louder, making her shake. 

 

“Yes… Harder, do it harder, faster, oohh my godd, good, don’t stop, please...” She almost screamed when he let go of her breasts and grabbed her neck with his left hand. He kissed her lips again, holding her close, never stopping his working fingers, deep inside her, pushing her clit harder with each thrust.

 

“Cait, I know you’re close, I can feel it, I can feel how you squeeze my fingers. Go, come for me, come like you wanted.” He encouraged her, and she finally broke under him, cried out his name. Her whole body shook, and she literally flooded his whole hand with her intense orgasm.

 

“F-fuck… oh god, I can’t, I couldn’t, I’m sorry,” she mumbled and her face got even more red.

 

“I know, I know, it’s okay, it's okay...” he said and smiled through the kisses, gently caressing her hair, holding her close.

 

“Let’s get you out of these...” She said, still shaking, pointing at his jeans. “Take everything off and come here… I want all of you.” With that she carefully collected the Mik papers and put them on the table beside the bed. He didn’t need to be asked twice as he pulled down his jeans along with his boxers and eagerly crawled onto the bed next to her.

 

“What about these?” He teased and touched the skin under her panties. 

 

“Take them the fuck off...” She demanded, and he slid them down her legs in an instant. 

 

“Just you and me now, and the stockings.” He laughed and kissed the tip of her nose.

 

"Yes… Now, come here, I need you inside me.” She breathed out and spread her legs for him. Another loud moan escaped her throat when he cupped her still wet entrance and finally entered her. Slowly, then all at once. Suddenly, all the playfulness was gone, and she felt unexplainable pain in her chest and closed her eyes. Automatically wrapping her legs around his back to keep him close, she dug her nails into the back and whispered, “Don’t move yet, I just…want to feel you. Just, for a bit...”

 

And, he stayed still, kissing her lips and her eyelashes, framing her face with both his hands, caressing her cheeks with his thumbs, whispering sweet nothings into her ear. Her eyes were closed, lips parted. Both could hear nothing but each other’s heartbeats in the silence of the camper, not paying attention to the rain that just would never stop.

 

“Cait, I...” he buried his face into the crook of her neck, then said, “I just...love you so fucking much.” 

 

She felt a tear fall from his eye and roll down her bare shoulder. “I love you, too. I didn’t stop, not for a single second. And, I never want to belong to anyone but you, Sam.”

 

He looked at her, her eyes were now open, she smiled as she brushed away her own tears. He wouldn't respond, at least not with words. Asking for permission with just his eyes to take her fully now, he received a nod in return and started moving inside her. The way he filled and streched her was indescribable. He just fit. And, they were that kind of comfort for each other that they didn’t even know they needed.

 

“Fuck me, fuck harder, harder,” she pleaded as he pushed deep into her, and she gripped his cock with all she had in her. Their bodies collided with each other, chests crushed against one another and soft moans mixed as loud screams filled the van.

 

“Can’t get enough, can you? You feel so fucking incredible, so tight, so hot,” he said, feeling her starting to clench around him. “That’s good, so good, I’m so close. I’m not gonna last long here, babe.” 

 

“Come in me, come, come with me, fuck, fuck me,” she kept pleading, digging her nails deeper into his back with passion. He’d have scratches tomorrow, but both didn’t give a bloody damn. His hand wandered between their burning bodies, and he started stroking her still swollen and needy clit again, along with his hard thrusts. 

 

“Oh my God, you’re, you're gonna break me in half...” She gasped, as she started drowning in pleasure that was washing her over. The heat in her belly was growing until she knew there was no possibility of holding it back anymore.

 

"You're mine, Caitriona, you're mine..."

 

"I'm yours, I always was, I--" And, with a broken moan she finally jerked her hips against him, and her back arched. Her pussy squeezed his cock as she came around him, and he spilled himself inside her just a moment later.

 

Still breathing heavily, he wrapped his arms around her tiny shape. He pulled her closer, covering her face with soft kisses, as she watched him, without blinking, still going through the aftershocks.

 

“I missed this, so much. I missed you. I missed us,” she said quietly, when they both finally regained consciousness. “I just want to stay here forever.”

 

“Um, here?” He smirked and traced his fingertips along the line of her neck.

 

“Well, I don’t care where. As long as I’m with you." She looked around herself and her gaze fell upon the table with the Mik papers laying across it. "How is it going?"

 

"Men in kilts?" Well, we almost wrapped it, and chose the premiere date." He said proudly.

 

"And, when is it?"

 

"February, the 14th." 

 

"On Valentine's Day? Really? Cool... I wanna see it already."

 

"You will. I promise, you'll be the first person to see the first episode."

 

"We'll be watching it together?"

 

"Together." He smiled and caressed her cheek before kissing her again, wishing for nothing but to always be this close to her.

 

And, free.

 

***