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Hidden In The Cold

Summary:

It's only a tool... Stasis is only a tool, Shiro repeated over and over in his head as he focused on the crystalline structure entrapping him. Harnessing it was the only way out, so he couldn't be scared of it. He needed to realize he was strong enough to restrain its influence on him... just as he did with the Light.

Notes:

This is a direct continuation of "Second Chances" even though it can stand alone. The only major difference is the fact that Shiro-4's Ghost now has a canon name—Suzume!

So sorry, Aimi! R.I.P., we'll all miss you.

Enjoy!

Chapter Text

“He’s calling you again.”

Shiro rolled over in bed, pressing his face into the pillow that—despite having recently been fluffed out—was still a hard slab.

“Shiro?”

“Tell him ‘no,’” he groaned against the thin fabric. It was way too early for this...

“I don’t think he’s going to take ‘no’ for an answer this time,” there was a hint of humor in Suzume’s voice.

“Fine,” he stretched, groaning again as the cords in his back decompressed. “Put him through.”

“Just did,” Suzume announced.

Shiro sat up against the headboard, rubbing his face. “What do you want, Zavala?”

“Shiro-4,” the Vanguard Commander began before seeming to pause at his voice. “I apologize for contacting you so early.”

“No, no,” Shiro shook his helm as if the Awoken man could see him. “I’ve been up for about an hour. What do you need?”

“Your answer,” he responded. “Have you considered a position as Hunter Vanguard?”

Shiro paused. He’d known this was coming but he still didn’t know what to say.

Zavala continued. “As you know, we are still without one, and as a consequence, we are weaker.” He sighed. “I asked you six months ago if you’d be willing to consider the position. It’s time I hear your answer.”

Shiro remained silent. While he had told Zavala that he’d consider the position, he’d only said that to get him off his back. In reality, Hunter Vanguard was not a position he’d willingly accept. Unless he’d been dared, but Cayde hadn’t made a clear dare. The main reason they were having this huge problem with finding another one... Obviously, one would have to be forcibly appointed, and it was looking like Zavala had already chosen him. Though the Commander obviously wanted him to willingly accept it...

“I mean, it’s your call,” he shrugged, unable to keep the slight frustration out of his voice.

“No. It’s your call, too,” Zavala asserted. “The Vanguard needs to be united and... there are reasons I hesitate to simply appoint you myself. Most notably your... relationship with a certain individual.”

“Hey, we’re not—“ He tried to protest.

“You need to want the position. Otherwise—despite your obvious skill—it’s hard for me to expect you to make an unbiased decision if the situation calls for it...”

“I’m not in a relationship with Drifter and I’m definitely not biased towards him,” he cut in, then added. “Just so we’re clear, Commander.”

Zavala was silent for a moment before sighing. “I hope you wouldn’t be. Too many are falling into his scams or taking his words for the truth... We cannot afford this. Not with the Pyramids in our system and how little we know about them...”

Shiro rubbed at his face again. He didn’t need to be reminded about the Darkness ships. They’d known it was coming for nearly a year and suspected it ever since the Traveler awoke. Now that it was here though, things were at a standstill and it felt like... like they weren’t prepared.

“I’ll give you more time to think,” Zavala broke the silence to speak. “Just know that enough is uncertain. The position of Hunter Vanguard cannot remain this way. For all our sakes.”

Zavala didn’t wait for him to answer before closing communication.

Shiro sat back against the headboard, closing his eyes for a moment as he prepared to get up and start his day.

“Big Blue thinks we’re in a relationship?”

There was a shift beside him that rocked the whole bed. Shiro tipped his chin down to see Drifter rolling over, an arm outstretched to wrap around him. The man was still half asleep as he pulled him closer, trying to get him to lay back down. Shiro considered spending another ten minutes in bed but ultimately decided against it. He was way too awake now.

“As If giving you what you want every few months is a relationship,” Shiro smirked as he peeled Drifter’s arms off of him.

“Ouch,” Drifter faked a hurt expression. “Do I not make it nice for you?”

“You make it fine,” he said, then murmured, “For someone who only delivers a few times a year.”

“Oh, is that a challenge!” Drifter shot up in bed, completely awake now. “Give me a week! No, give me a weekend, and you’ll be takin’ back everything ya just said! Trust!”

“Start building stamina, then,” Shiro chuckled in response—choosing to omit the fact that his weekends were getting shorter and shorter. Soon there wouldn’t be time for their little visits. Honestly, that wouldn’t be too bad. It could possibly even lower his stress level...

He liked Drifter. Mostly... But what he didn’t like was the man’s attitude about the Pyramids. He just wasn’t taking them seriously... Like so many other things... He climbed out of bed and headed for his bathroom to get ready.

“Hey, how do you expect me to build stamina without you?” Drifter called after him.

“You got hands,” he called back as he closed the door.

As an Exo, there wasn’t much he needed to do in the bathroom when compared to humans like Drifter, (Though Drifter could use it a little more than he currently did...) Still, he preferred a bit of privacy, especially when Drifter was staying over. So he used this time to organize his schedule for the day and go through messages that were sent last night, finding one Suzume sent a few minutes ago:

Waiting out on the Wall for you. Take as much time as you need! ;)

He marked the message as ‘read’ then walked back into the bedroom. Drifter had moved to sit up against the headboard and looked up at him when he walked through.

“You better not be leavin’ for a patrol.”

Shiro shrugged, already in the connected room to get himself armored. “I’m on schedule today.”

“Put yourself off schedule,” he whined.

“Can’t.”

“Ugh.” Drifter groaned, sinking back into the sheets. “Now the bed’s gonna get all cold...”

“That’s your main worry?” He smirked. “You should probably be getting up anyway so you don’t have to do the ‘walk of shame’ when the Wall’s busy.”

“I’m not ashamed of nothin’,” Drifter responded with a smirk of his own. “Though you’re probably right about me needin’ ya get outta here. Mind handing me my coat?”

“The one you’re always wearing?” Shiro asked as he clipped his cloak to his armor.

“That would be it!”

Shiro reached down to grab the worn garment that had fallen from the hangar it’d been haphazardly hung on last night. It was surprisingly clean. Drifter actually did prepare for their visits. He rolled it up into a ball and threw it at the man who easily caught it and began to dress.

“You know, ya wouldn’t have ta get up so damn early if you helped with my Gambit,” Drifter commented.

This time, Shiro had to force out a natural-sounding laugh. Drifter’s Gambit. Another thing he didn’t approve of... Though his disapproval only caused conflict for himself.

On one side, he understood Drifter’s motivations and why using the Darkness was a good idea. As their threats grew bigger, they needed to expand their arsenal... though at the same time, he didn’t feel like this normalization of Darkness, or at least the concept of it, was timely with the Pyramids looming threateningly over half of the solar system.

They just didn’t understand it enough. It needed study, but more importantly, it needed to be treated seriously.

“I’m serious, ya know,” Drifter was out of bed and fully dressed now. “Runnin’ Gambit has been a solo act so far, though I wouldn’t mind you helping out. I’d love it actually.”

“I don’t think any of the Guardians playing your Gambit would love it. You’re funny. I’d just make it boring,” Shiro joked, standing at the door with a hand on the knob. He really needed to be going...

Drifter shook his head. “Nah, I think you’d be great at it! C’mon! How about for just a day?”

“I need to get going,” he opened the door, standing half in and half out of his apartment.

“Lame!” Drifter crossed his arms, stomping forward to follow him out.

Shiro turned to lock the door behind him.

“Alright, I best be startin’ my Gambit,” Drifter said, giving him a quick hug from behind. “You comin’ back here later?”

“Maybe,” he finished with the lock, turning around to receive a quick peck from Drifter, who immediately back-stepped to avoid retaliation.

“Then I’ll see ya,” the man gave him one last smirk before heading down the hall.

Shiro stared after him for a moment before heading the opposite way to the Wall’s hangar.

— —

“You’re 3 minutes late,” Suzume put on a playful tone as she floated up to him. “Have fun?”

He shrugged, unable to get himself in the mood to joke with her. “Eh. Drifter was just running his mouth about Gambit again.”

Suzume grew silent, most likely thinking. With how perceptive she was coupled with how naturally close they were as Guardian and Ghost, it didn’t take her long to catch onto what was bothering him. “You should tell him you don’t like Gambit.”

Shiro sighed. “Yeah, I should, but I dunno... It’s hard for me to bring it up with him.”

Suzume just stared at him, waiting for him to explain.

“I mean, you and I both know how hard he’s worked to create Gambit, and now it’s a success. Mostly,” he lowered his voice with another sigh. “I just can’t get past its mechanics and how it’s making Guardians use the Darkness against each other... Sure, nothing bad’s happened yet, but that was before the Darkness was in our system...”

“And before the majority of Guardians were desensitized to it all,” Suzume added.

“That too.”

Suzume flicked her shell in what he took as a shrug. “I think you should talk to him if it’s bothering you. It’s bothered me for quite a while, though I stopped saying anything since I know you two are close.”

“Yeah, and I don’t really want to ruin that.”

Such a slippery slope with Drifter...

“You wouldn’t be ‘ruining’ anything if Drifter decided Gambit was a dealbreaker for him.”

“True,” he said. “But still... I dunno.”

“What don’t you know?”

“Just...” He shook his head, struggling to put it into words. “I just don’t know how to make this work. People are always harder to figure out than guns and...”

“Well, is he not making you happy? Let’s start with that,” Suzume suggested.

“He is,” Shiro answered honestly. “When I’m with him, at least. He’s different. Doesn’t focus on Gambit all that much,” he let out a dry laugh. “I guess when we were deciding to start this little relationship, I thought he’d grow out of the idea...”

Suzume’s voice grew serious. “Then he’s not making you happy, is he?”

He sighed, exasperated. “No, I guess he’s making me kind of frustrated.”

Shiro stepped out onto the main walk on the Wall, where the Vanguard had outfitted as a base of operations. His eyes were drawn up to the Traveler in the sky. It’s always been there, but recently it just felt strange. It had reformed.

Without being an expert, he knew that this was happening for a reason.

“So that’s his fault.”

“Well, it’s partially mine, too,” he admitted. “I’ve been meaning to talk to him about this stuff but just haven’t.”

“Because you’re scared?” Suzume asked.

Shiro snorted. “No, I’m not scared. I just...” he sighed. “Drifter always has an explanation or a reason why I shouldn’t be worried. He never addresses my actual problems with Gambit and the Darkness and... Let’s not talk about this now, okay?”

“Okay,” Suzume agreed, although it sounded like there was much more she wanted to say.

— —

Just as he and Suzume entered the hangar, a feminine voice called out to him.

“Hey, Shiro! Ship’s almost ready!”

He looked in the direction of the voice to see a blond-haired, tattooed woman working minor repairs on his jumpship. Some light damage he’d received when speeding through the asteroid belt.

“Amanda, you didn’t have to,” he approached.

“Don’t even start,” she swung down to land on the ground in front of him. “This thing right here’s my pride and joy ever since I repaired it from the scrap heap it was a couple’a years ago.”

“But how much does this cost?”

“You? Nothin.’”

“I’m talking about you,” Shiro clarified. “You don’t get paid for cosmetic jobs."

“This ain’t cosmetic,” She leaned back against his jumpship’s landing gear. “Scratches like this only expand when warping to a destination.”

“Yeah, but...”

She pushed off of the landing gear, gently elbowing him in the side. “Don’t worry about it, Shiro. Knowing my work made a friend’s day happier is all the payment I need.”

He caught the flash of grief in Amanda’s eyes. She tried to blink it away, but there was no question about who she was thinking of. Cayde.

The former Hunter Vanguard had been great friends with them both. Since his death—his murder—he and Amanda had grown a bit closer. He figured it was because she could see a bit of Cayde in him. Even though they’d never really talked before Cayde passed on, it was fine. They both missed Cayde.

“I’m still gonna wire some Glimmer to you later,” he whispered.

“You better not! I’ll just wire it right back!”

“I’ll close my account. There’ll be nothing to wire it to.”

“Well, you’ll have to hide your Glimmer somewhere. I’ll just slip it in there!"

“Good luck,” he smirked. “My caches are notoriously hard to find.”

“Oh, I don’t need luck to—“

Amanda’s communicator went off behind her, blasting Commander Zavala’s voice to the entire hangar.

“Holliday! Come in, Holliday!”

The tattooed woman ran over to where she’d left it on the workbench. “Y-Yeah?”

“Do not let Shiro—or any Vanguard Scout—leave the hangar!”

“Uh, he hasn’t yet, Commander,” she answered, glancing over to meet Shiro’s eyes with a confused expression.

“Good.”

When Zavala didn’t explain himself, Amanda spoke back into the communicator. “Wait, what’s goin’ on? Why can’t he leave?”

There was a brief pause. “I’m sorry, Holliday, but this is Vanguard business. I need to speak with him personally."

Before Zavala could close communication, Shiro stepped up beside Amanda to speak into the device. “I’m right here, Commander. What’s going on?”

“Shiro?” Another pause. Longer this time. “You cannot leave for your Mercury patrol. In fact, I want you in my office as soon as possible.”

Shiro glanced at Amanda, seeing her concern, before continuing. “And why is that?”

“Because Mercury, Titan, Io, and Mars have disappeared.”