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Because of Me

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He still could not believe what he was seeing. Aeryn Sun, alive in front of him. "You died", John said, sounding so little. Aeryn gave him a smile, "But I am back now, thanks to Zhaan''.

John couldn't smile even if he wanted to. He turned his back to her. The guilt had started to eat him up again. "You, John Crichton are the reason she died in the first place."


"YOU! This is all your fault!" The voices inside him didn't stop." He was losing it. He had already lost it. Scorpius was taking him over. He didn't know what to do anymore. He couldn't resist it even if how much he wanted.

His breath hitched as he felt a hand on his back. Soft hand. Aeryns' hand. Aeryn, who was alive. He felt the tears in his eyes. He had to shut his eyes to not let them flow free. He took a shuddering breath while turning around. "Don't Aeryn". He opened his eyes to see Aeryn's concerned face. "Please, dont", he whispered.

"John, what is wrong with you?", Aeryn asked, frowning. John lost it. "Oh, what is wrong with me? Let's see. I am the reason YOU died. I am the reason the woman I lov-." His eyes widened and he watched the same reaction happening to Aeryn.


"NO! Please Aeryn, do you not understand what I am saying?" He realized that he had started to shout." I AM THE REASON YOU DIED. ME."

"But Scorpius..."

"It was me, Aeryn. Don't you get it? I am the main reason you died. Me. So please, don't. I am not good to be around. You need to stay away from me so that I can't hurt you. You deserve better than what I can give you", Crichton said, feeling so small.

Aeryn smiled a little walking towards him. She cupped his cheeks. "John, listen to me. Don't you dare to say that ever again. I love you."

"How can you love a man that caused your death?"John asked confusedly.

"Because I know the truth. You can't control it when Scorpius takes over even if you want. It's not your fault. Listen to me John, I don't blame you."

"I just don't ever want to be the person who hurts you like that ever again. And I can't promise that Scorpius won't take over my mind again and I can't stop it. You are safer if you stay away from me." John said eyes falling towards the ground. "I love you too much", John whispered.

John cupped his face and lifted his head. Their eyes met. Aeryn smiled. "Let's worry about that later. I am going to be okay. Now, kiss me."

John couldn't help but smile as he crushed their lips together into a deep kiss.

Let's just say that they didn't talk about it for the rest of the day. Their minds were occupied.