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you keep me wide awake (and waiting for the sun)

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Murong Chuyi hums, brows drawing together in disturbed slumber before he nuzzles against the pillow.

Jiang Yexue's pillow, which is supposed to be on the other, unoccupied side of the bed; Jiang Yexue was, until very early this morning, away on a business trip.


He'd hopped on the plane late Friday night, hoping to avoid wasting half his weekend by flying on Saturday morning as planned. He'd kissed a sleeping Chuyi hello and hopped into the shower.


Then he'd slid into bed and realized Chuyi had switched their pillows.


Jiang Yexue is exhausted, but he is also very, very hard. And has been for the past half an hour while he lies on his side, watching Chuyi's sleeping face in the dim light of their bedroom and telling himself not to touch. 

Chuyi is a heavy sleeper, both arms splayed out in front of him, fingers occasionally twitching as if unconsciously reaching for Yexue's warmth. For someone so restrained while awake, there's a certain openness in rest, a lack of self-consciousness that speaks to his sense of trust in his surroundings, in the home he shares with Jiang Yexue.


Jiang Yexue loses the battle, reaches for their bedside table to find the lube and tosses it on the bed between them.


He reaches out to slip a hand along the curve of Chuyi's hip. Warms his cold palm against the fabric before sliding it under the waistband of his pyjamas.

He could probably wake Chuyi, but something about taking him like this - while he's still deep asleep, soft and helpless and blanketed in Jiang Yexue's scent - something about it appeals far too strongly.


He carefully slides down the blanket and then Chuyi's pyjama pants, leaving him in just his little black boxer briefs. He's pleased to see Chuyi wore the underwear he bought instead of his usual boxers or boring white briefs.


"Chuyi…" he murmurs softly as he slides a hand up from ankle to thigh, then back down again. On his third slide up he slips his fingers under the hem of Murong Chuyi's briefs. His skin is firm, soft as silk, and Jiang Yexue wonders if he should abandon his plan of fucking between Chuyi's thighs and settle for a blowjob. Litter them with red marks while he's at it.


He decides to stick to his plan for now; Chuyi is always so cute when he's blowing him, sweet and tender, all flushed skin and bitten lips and hitched sobs, thighs almost smothering Jiang Yexue. It'll be better to do that while he's fully awake.


So instead he moves to the waistband of the briefs, slides them down and off Chuyi's hips. His cock peeks out from below the hem of his t-shirt, soft against his thigh. 


With luck, it'll fully awaken before Chuyi does.


Jiang Yexue takes a moment to admire him, lower half bared to the air in gentle obscenity.  The t-shirt staying on and his peaceful expression only enhances the lewdness. Back when they were roommates in the same college dorm, Jiang Yexue had looked across the room at a sleeping Chuyi and fantasized about something like this.


There exists a beast within him, a massive nameless thing, its jaws gaping wide and ready to swallow Murong Chuyi at any moment. Most of the time, he's able to restrain it and give Chuyi the tenderness and comfort he deserves. But sometimes, when they're intertwined - sometimes it tugs against the reigns, making itself known, in the edge of Jiang Yexue's teeth or the glint in his eye.


And Murong Chuyi, even at such moments, does not turn away from him. No, instead he seems to melt into Yexue's embrace, baring his neck, parting his thighs, offering himself in surrender.


Jiang Yexue spoils him, to be sure, but he is also spoiled in turn.


Chuyi's legs shift and he murmurs, so Yexue moves his hand to his outer thigh, rubs it to soothe him. He leans forward a breath to kiss Chuyi's cheek, then his mouth. "My sleeping beauty."


He spends a few minutes kissing the face he adores, the chin, bridge of the nose, between the brows. Then travels to his neck and ear, and laps at the hollow of his collarbones.


Eventually he pulls back, and his other hand pushes up Chuyi's t-shirt until his chest is bared, nipples pebbling as the cold air hits them.


Jiang Yexue slides down the bed, grasps both Chuyi's wrists with one hand and moves them out of the way so he can lap at his chest. Chuyi gives a soft, unconscious moan, igniting the embers in the pit of his belly. He continues toying with his nipples, sucking, nibbling, prodding at them with his tongue. 


Chuyi's hands twitches in his grip as he murmurs, arching a little in offering, and isn't that the sweetest thing? Jiang Yexue lavishes him with attention. 


Chuyi's cock is already half-hard, he notes, pleased. Instead of touching him, though, Jiang Yexue moves his free hand behind Chuyi to squeeze his ass. For such a slender man, Chuyi has a lovely bottom, shapely and firm. He gropes and kneads at those cheeks even as he presses kisses between Chuyi's ribs, trails down. He pushes his tongue into his navel as he slides fingers into Chuyi's crack and traces his hole...and stops.


Chuyi's hole feels...softer. Softer than it should feel, given that Jiang Yexue hasn't paid attention to it in over two weeks. 


He blinks, wonders if he's imagining it, takes a breath and gently prods at the rim.


His finger goes in easily.


Jiang Yexue pulls it out, adds another one. The rim stretches a little, this time, but still accommodates them to the second knuckle.


Jiang Yexue's mind goes blank.


He stays there, fingers gone inside Chuyi dry, and tries to think of the possible reasons why Chuyi would be this open in his absence. Before they started dating, Chuyi was rarely one to masturbate, let alone finger himself.


Did someone else--


His thoughts seem fuzzy, darting all over at random, going a mile a minute. Jiang Yexue shuts his eyes and tries to stop his mind from flickering.


He takes a deep, shuddering breath, removing his fingers. Chuyi wouldn't, he tells himself as he lubes them up thoroughly. Chuyi wouldn't do that, and he deserves to be stretched out properly before he's taken. Jiang Yexue does not want to hurt him.


He moves them so Chuyi is splayed out on his back with Jiang Yexue between his thighs. He spreads them apart so he can look at that suspiciously loose hole. It's soft, a little darker than the surrounding skin.

Jiang Yexue pushes at it with his lubed fingers, and they slide in fully this time.

He stretches Chuyi's rim carefully, this song and dance long familiar to them both. Watches the delicate skin give around his fingers, the rim gently fluttering around them. 

Watches his cock become fully erect, flush and darken, precome beading at the tip, the salty smell of it strong in the air.

Because he's still a little antsy, Jiang Yexue doesn't give it a welcoming suck like he usually would. 

He adds in a third finger, and Murong Chuyi shifts.


Jiang Yexue scissors his fingers, deliberately avoiding that spot, delighting in the way Murong Chuyi's hips arch as he tries to get them to brush it.


Murong Chuyi is half-awake now, his eyelashes fluttering open, and Jiang Yexue smiles indulgently, intending to stretch him out for a bit longer.


Then, Murong Chuyi gives a soft little cry in his sleep, and Jiang Yexue freezes, wondering if he's misheard.


Chuyi arches up against his still fingers again, his brows drawing together in protest. "Nnnnn… gege …"


He calls Chuyi by his name, as he has always done. Chuyi rarely addresses him as anything other than "you", sometimes resorting to his given name. Jiang Yexue is younger than Murong Chuyi. If they were to insist on terms of address, he would technically be called didi.


So who the fuck is gege?


Jiang Yexue's vision is suffused in red. He can see it in the back of his mind, a faceless man Chuyi invited into their home, into his body while Jiang Yexue was away. An older man.




In a flash, Jiang Yexue manhandles Chuyi so he's bent in half, knees almost touching his shoulders, ignores the noise of confusion.


He buries himself to the hilt on the first thrust.


Chuyi is tight , tighter than usual, suffocatingly good around him. Jiang Yexue's cock is fairly large, enough that Chuyi will feel this for days. 


The stretch is enough to shock him awake; his half-open eyes stare blearily up at Yexue even as he begins to thrust. He moves mercilessly, as if to drive away the fog in Chuyi's eyes with each thrust of his hips.


Chuyi is now staring at him in bewilderment. His eyes are hazy with discomfort, his lips parted around little noises.


"Still?" Jiang Yexue snarls, grabs at Chuyi's ass to plunge himself in even more ruthlessly, "you have me inside you and you still call him?"

Chuyi's eyes widen.


Jiang Yexue laughs cruelly, punching each syllable with a thrust. "Surprised, my love? I certainly was, when I slid into bed with you, only to discover your ass was already open and ready."

"No," Chuyi chokes out.

"No? Who helped you stretch it out, huh? Your gege ? Who the fuck is he?"

"You have it wrong--"

"Tell me his name," Jiang Yexue wraps a hand around his cock, squeezing so hard that Chuyi cries out. "Tell me, my sweet little slut. Who have you been bending over for, behind my back?"


" A-Xue ," Chuyi hiccups, high-pitched and shaking, "A-Xue gege, it hurts !"


White noise fills Jiang Yexue's ears.


He blinks, hand loosening around his cock in surprise. "What did you call me?"


Chuyi glares at him. "Didn't you send me a voice note saying you wanted me to call you that? I've been practising!"


Jiang Yexue hazily recollects the drunken voice note he'd sent last week. It had been sweet, so adoring and pleading that even he'd been embarrassed playing it back the next morning. He'd deleted it because he didn't want to anger Chuyi, and Chuyi never brought it up, so--


Time seems to slow down, trickling like syrup. Jiang Yexue sees himself with perfect clarity. His hands clenching into Chuyi's ass so tightly that they'll leave imprints. The other bruises on his thighs. The arousal in his expression bleeding into discomfort. Discomfort, because Jiang Yexue was rough with him. Because Jiang Yexue was jealous...of himself.


"You did that," he says unsteadily, "for me?"

Chuyi scowls and slaps at his chest. "Who else?" he snaps.

"But…" Jiang Yexue shifts, still inside him, notices how Chuyi's muscles clench despite his disgruntled expression. "Why were you loose--"

Chuyi glares , bright red, and Jiang Yexue puts two and two together.

"You fingered yourself?" he asks, shocked, and his cock throbs inside Chuyi. "Did it make you horny, practising that?"


 "Get it out ," Chuyi snaps, cheeks pink and eyes red-rimmed. Absolutely breathtaking. The answer to Yexue's question practically a neon sign above his head. "Get it out of me."


Jiang Yexue is struck by the extent of his own good fortune.


"You're too tight," he tells Murong Chuyi, and gives him his most kicked-dog expression. "Chuyi, my love--"


"I'm sorry--"

"You don't mean that!"


Jiang Yexue thrusts, once, watches Murong Chuyi hold back a surprised moan.

"I'm sorry, baby," he pleads, gentle and delicate, as if he wasn't just thrusting into his ass like a battering ram, "let me make it up to you?"

"No need--"



He reaches for the hand Chuyi has pressed against his chest, interlinks their fingers, moves them to his mouth. 

"I love you," he whispers tenderly between kisses. Skilled hands, callused hands. Beloved hands. He licks at the webbing between the fingers, watches the anger in Chuyi's face give way to arousal. "Let me make you feel good?"

"I'd feel good if you stopped-- ahn. "

"You don't mean that," Jiang Yexue murmurs, swivelling his hips, grinding into that one spot and feeling Chuyi convulse around him. "Won't you call me gege once again?"


"Have you earned it?" Chuyi retorts.


Jiang Yexue hums as he moves them suddenly, manhandles Chuyi's hips off the bed even as he shifts to his knees, then slams Chuyi down onto his cock, watches him arch as another cry escapes him. He knows that Chuyi favours this angle for how utterly it wrecks him.


"Haven't I?" he retorts silkily as he begins to piston his hips a little faster, the change in angle and speed making Chuyi moan. 

"I took a flight at twelve so I could spend my whole weekend with you."

"Yes, and accused me of being a slut." Chuyi bites out, eyes sparking. Fucking gorgeous, Jiang Yexue thinks admiringly.

"Maybe the lack of sleep impaired my judgement, hmmm?"

Murong Chuyi rolls his eyes.


"Alright, I'm sorry," Jiang Yexue lets the genuine apology show on his face even as he stills his hips, trying not to smile at the way those eyes widen in distress. "Should I stop?"


" You-- " Chuyi grits out, looking angry and beautiful and cornered, and Jiang Yexue loves him so much.


"Yes, me," he breathes, resuming his hectic pace. "I love you. I love you so much, Chuyi. Won't you call me gege again?"


Between them, Chuyi's cock jerks, a sure sign that he'll come soon. 

Jiang Yexue is tempted to not let him come until he says it, but he was in the wrong, this time. He can only plead.

"Perhaps I don't deserve it. But won't you say it anyway, my love?"


"Please . " For this, Jiang Yexue will beg if he has to. "Chuyi, please. "


Murong Chuyi's gaze stays on his face for a moment. 

Finally his eyes close in surrender as his lips shape the words. "A-xue...A-xue gege."

A binding, and a benediction.


Jiang Yexue grinds into the next thrust, and Chuyi's eyes fly open in shock as he seizes around him, gasping, releasing over both of them in a warm rush.

Jiang Yexue continue to thrust through his orgasm, fucking Chuyi into oversensitivity as he nears his own climax.

"Say it," he snarls, "say it, Chuyi."

"Gege," Chuyi whispers, dazed, "gege, gege."


Jiang Yexue comes with the word ringing in his ears.

He eventually pulls out, chest tightening at Chuyi's grimace, sets his hips gently down on the bed. He's too exhausted to move any more, so he just ends up slumped on top of Chuyi, pressing kisses to his face, his lips. Chuyi tiredly reciprocates, letting Jiang Yexue lick into his mouth, sweet as honey.


"I'm sorry," Jiang Yexue says again, fully sober this time. "I'll apply medicine to it, later."

Chuyi grunts. "I can't believe you assumed... that ."

"Maybe I get it from my mother," Yexue says without thinking, then bites his tongue. 

Chuyi stills for a second, before his hand comes up to stroke Yexue's hair. "You're not like either of them," he says steadily. "You're you."

"I love you," Yexue blurts, "I really do."

"I know," Chuyi sighs. "You should know that I feel the same. Which is why...I wouldn't."

"I'll kiss it better, later," Yexue says wickedly, and Chuyi coughs, face reddening. "No need. Just ointment should do."


Silence. Jiang Yexue is smiling, just a little. "I got you souvenirs," he says eventually. "I'll show them to you later. We should get cleaned up."

Murong Chuyi makes a small, sleepy sound of assent.


Jiang Yexue heaves himself off Chuyi, off the bed. Watches that pale body shift against the sheets, patterned with bruises here and there, still clad in a wrinkled t-shirt.

"Chuyi," he says.


Murong Chuyi sits up and looks at him for a long moment before his gaze softens. He accepts Jiang Yexue's outstretched hand, and together they head to the bathroom.


As dawn washes over the city in rosy hues, they curl up together and fall asleep.