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Jess and SuperCorp

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Lena- Jess are you here? 
Lena- I swear if this idiot looks down my shirt one more time.
Lena- Jess! 
Jess- Yes Miss Luthor?
Lena- I need you to count to ten then come in and apologise saying there’s a matter that requires my immediate attention in the labs.

Lena- The intercom is broken again. Email me or just text me.
Jess- Noted. I have sent a request for maintenance to fix it.
Lena- I’ll fix it. I don’t trust the maintenance guys with my office. Actually you know what nevermind it’s easier to do this. Just text me from now on.

Lena- Jess what is an acceptable amount of flowers to send a girl as thanks for sending Supergirl to save you?
Jess- A single bouquet is standard.
Lena- and if you want to be thankful and a little more? 
Lena- Also are roses only acceptable in romantic ways or if I send like pink or yellow is it completely platonic?
Lena- Or is it technically platonic with… undertones?
Jess- Is this about Ms Danvers?
Lena- do you see me interact with anyone else willing to look past my family who also knows Supergirl?
Jess- I still can’t work out how she knows Supergirl.
Lena- I think her sister works with Supergirl they probably met through her.
Jess- That would make sense. As to your question the real question is how thankful are you for her calling Supergirl?
Lena- I’m still alive and she wrote a very nice article about me so… very thankful. 
Jess- Do you want it to be a grand gesture of some kind?
Lena- I feel like you’re suggesting something.
Jess- It would be unprofessional of me to. Though I feel I should disclose last week I did walk in to see you banging your head on the desk and asking yourself why you’re such a gay disaster after she left.
Lena- Fml. Wait where are you?
Jess- At the florist. How many flowers do you want me to send and do you want me to add a card?
Lena- Um… idk send like six thousand worth and a card that says thank you. Use my personal card to pay.
Lena- Don’t put my name on it though. I want to see if she guesses it was me.
Jess- Who else would it be?
Lena- idk but if she comes by again can you ask her for me.
Jess- This may be pushing the bounds of our professional relationship but I think you might have a crush on her.
Lena- What makes you think that?
Jess- Apart from the prior incident with your head and the desk? Because this is the longest conversation we’ve ever had and you slipped into text speech.
Lena- Sorry Jess. Please send the flowers and schedule a call for me with Ms Arias sometime tomorrow. Ask her when is convenient for her and shift around whatever you need to.
Jess- Done. She said to tell you you don’t need to schedule girl talk and to call her sometime after ten thirty tonight so she can “say fuck” without Ruby hearing.

Lena- Jess can you make a note downstairs for them to alert you whenever Kara turns up so you can alert me.
Jess- Yes Miss Luthor. 
Jess- May I ask what has prompted this request.
Lena- I may have been looking through her Instagram when she arrived and I had to pretend to be working really quickly.
Jess- Again this may be pushing the boundaries of our working relationship but have you considered asking her out?
Lena- I did. She turned up and said it was so nice to have girl friends who aren’t her sister. Then we talked about boy bands for ten minutes.
Jess- Ouch.
Lena- I can take a hint so it’s just friends.
Jess- Understandable. I apologise for bringing up painful memories.
Lena- It’s okay I’m happy to be just her friend.

Jess- You asked me to remind you this morning that you have lunch with Ms Danvers.
Lena- Thank you Jess.
Jess- I should also mention you have no face to face meetings today at all so if you wish to dress up a little Ms Danvers and I will be the only ones who notice.
Lena- You’re already best assistant of the year and it’s only March.
Jess- Thank you.

Jess- Was Supergirl here?
Lena- Yes. She came by earlier today and spent thirty seconds staring at me through the glass before she just dropped out of the sky. She came back two minutes later and spoke to me then.
Jess- Why was she staring at you?
Lena- Probably just debating whether or not I could be trusted. 
Jess- What were you doing at the time?
Lena- Adjusting my dress then getting some water. Why I thought something this short would be a good idea I don’t remember.
Jess- She was probably being polite waiting for you to be comfortable. And I thought you were wearing a skirt.
Lena- I was but I decided to change.
Jess- Is this because you have lunch with Ms Danvers?
Lena- I’m not above a little harmless teasing.
Jess- I see.

Jess- I think you gave the poor woman a heart attack.
Lena- In a good or bad way?
Jess- Good. I think she stopped breathing for a moment when she saw you and I had to give her a push to get her out of the way of the door.
Lena- thank you Jess.

Jess- It may interest you to know Ms Danvers seemed to find you in a suit very pleasing.
Lena- Interesting. Could you explain how you know this?
Jess- Because I’m in Noonans right now and I can hear her lamenting to a red haired woman about how she nearly died seeing you in a suit yesterday.
Jess- Her exact words were “My heart just stopped and I just wanted to drop to my knees in worship Alex she’s too pretty it’s not fair.”
Lena- Jess please remind me to give you a pay rise when you get back. 
Lena- Did she say anything else?
Jess- She “can’t even” with your lipstick
Jess- She wants it all over her.
Jess- And finally something about being stepped on in your heels.
Jess- The other woman just stopped her from going on I think she might be her sister.
Lena- Best assistant ever!

Lena- Jess please put in a maintenance request for my balcony railing.
Jess- Of course. May I ask what happened?
Lena- I don’t know I just stood up to greet Supergirl she looked funny and slipped crushing it in her hand.
Jess- Are you dressed for lunch with Kara?
Lena- Yes. 
Lena- Why?
Jess- Just a theory. Maintenance will sort it out while you’re in the labs later this afternoon.
Lena- Thank you Jess, could you keep an eye on them while they’re in my office?
Jess- Of course.

Jess- Ms Danvers is here for your lunch and she’s twitchy.
Lena- Good twitchy or bad?
Jess- No idea but she keeps looking at your office and then pacing.
Lena- Probably bad. Send her in.

Jess- Are you banging your head on the desk again?
Lena- How did you know?
Jess- A repeated thud and Ms Danvers left a minute ago.
Lena- … You are very observant.
Jess- Did you need me to bring you anything?
Lena- A cup of Irish coffee without the coffee.
Jess- Shall I call Ms Arias?
Lena- No I think I’ll recover soon.

Lena- Jess make arrangements I’m buying Catco.
Jess- Is this to do with Ms Danvers?
Lena- No this is a sound business decision made to one up Morgan Edge.
Jess- Ah.
Lena- Also I think it will make Kara happy.
Jess- Are you going to give her the company?
Lena- No, that would be inappropriate. I’ll run it. Schedule a call with Sam Arias for me.
Jess- After ten or before?
Lena- Before. I need someone to run L corp when I’m at Catco.
Jess- Are you sure about this?
Lena- Am I sure that I am about to take on a company I know next to nothing about and spend every day there so I can keep a close eye on it? 
Lena- Yes.
Lena- On a completely unrelated note please make a booking with my stylist for me. I need to upgrade my wardrobe.
Jess- To be shorter?
Lena- No Jess that would be unprofessional. I want it to better display my assets. So… tighter I guess.
Lena- Also schedule me extra time with my personal trainer in the lead up to my takeover. If I’m taking over a media company I should look the part.
Jess- Did you want me to also book in an hour of pining over Ms Danvers for this afternoon.
Lena- I don’t think pining can be scheduled.
Jess- I do it for you after every lunch with Ms Danvers. I just put it down as paperwork. 
Lena- Why is paperwork also scheduled at eight forty five on Thursdays.
Jess- Because she usually calls you then. It’s a quiet night for her.
Lena- Thank you, I think.

Eve- Jess what is Miss Luthor’s preferred coffee.
Jess- Black, or anything Kara hands her.
Eve- ??
Jess- You’ll work it out. In the mean time black and schedule her for paperwork for fifteen minutes after any meal with Kara Danvers. Also if you hear a repeated thud sometime after Ms Danvers leaves her office it’s just Miss Luthor banging her head on the desk she’ll get over it after about nine times.
Eve- That’s concerning.
Jess- If she still seems to be struggling ask if she wants you to schedule a talk with Ms Arias for her. It helps. If she says yes clarify if she wants it during work hours or after.
Eve- Thank you!

Lena- Jess how is Sam coping?
Jess- Very well.
Lena- Excellent.
Jess- How is working with Ms Danvers.
Lena- She bought me a planner as a welcome gift.
Jess- Good then.
Lena- I may have trouble breathing every time she walks past. 
Jess- Is she wearing a shirt again?
Lena- I may need professional help.
Jess- An escort or a psychologist?
Lena- Psychologist
Lena- Really Jess?
Jess- Sorry Miss Luthor. 
Lena- Sometimes I forget who you worked for before.
Jess- well you wanted someone with a reliable track record for discretion.

Eve- Jess she’s pacing her new office is that bad?
Jess- No she’s just working through something.
Eve- I’m worried still. 
Eve- She’s gone to go talk to people and then she was talking to Kara. Then they hugged.
Jess- She’ll be in a good mood. Tell her any bad news now she’ll take it better.

Eve- Jess why are they constantly looking at each other? And how is it no one else has noticed. 
Jess- I have no idea.
Eve- And they do at opposite times to each other. It’s like tennis.
Jess- Please film that for me if possible. I have a feeling I’ll need it one day.
Eve- okay but if they catch me you asked.
Jess- Understood.

Lena- Jess, I think I have a boyfriend…
Jess- Did you buy him accidentally?
Lena- No I was politely flirtatious and went to dinner with him. Then he kissed me and I am very concerned.
Jess- Did you want me to send Frank to chat with him?
Lena- No he’s friends with Kara.
Jess- Does she seem jealous?
Lena- I don’t know she’s sick. I’ll try talking with her about it.
Lena- Where do I buy soup?
Jess- I’ll place an order and you can pick it up.

Lena- Okay so that was weird.
Jess- The soup?
Lena- No Kara. Either she has a twin besides Supergirl or she is very sick.
Jess- …
Jess- Would you like to think about what you wrote above for a minute?
Lena- No I worked out they look freakishly alike ages ago. I think they have some kind of pretending deal. 
Jess- Pretending deal?
Lena- Yeah because they look alike but Kara is human. I know this for a fact because I used my alien detection device on her but she says things to suggest she’s not so I think it’s a ploy of some kind.
Lena- I’m starting to think that’s how she knows Supergirl. They look really alike and so Kara pretends to be Supergirl’s alter and runs away to hide every time someone needs Supergirl so people think it’s her.
Jess- … 
Jess- really?
Lena- Yes
Jess- Miss Luthor your mental gymnastics astounds me.
Lena- Thank you
Lena- That wasn’t a compliment was it?
Jess- I’d rather not answer.
Lena- you know I could replace you with Eve.
Jess- But she hasn’t worked out you’re in love with Kara yet.
Lena- True, but she does know lots of scientists. You don’t know famous scientists from university.
Jess- No I don’t. But I do know the secrets of a lot of very mediocre businessmen, and you seem to find that information useful.
Lena- Point taken.

Lena- Jess you remember that boyfriend…
Jess- He still thinks you’re dating?
Lena- My own fault. I keep forgetting to break up and Kara keeps being supportive of our relationship.
Jess- Please tell me you haven’t slept with him.
Lena- Just once
Jess- Miss Luthor!
Jess- You’re in love with Kara and you’re sleeping with one of her best friends! You do remember what happened the last time you tried to get her out of your system.
Lena- I do. Veronica aggressively reminds me of it every time she sees me.
Lena- But it’s okay we both said her name so I think I’m safe. Its mutually assured destruction at this point. Neither of us can tell on the other.
Jess- …
Jess- I honestly don’t know what to say about that.
Lena- Normally you call me an idiot in a very polite way
Jess- Miss Luthor, you’re an idiot.
Lena- Harsh. But in this case probably true.
Lena- I’m gonna break up with him. Kara hasn’t called me back and she sounded like something bad was happening when she did. 
Jess- I do agree you should break up with him but I feel compelled to question why something bad happening in her life has prompted your need to break up with Mr Olsen.
Lena- It’s very simple Jess. If she’s having trouble with her boyfriend I want to be single.
Lena- And *very* supportive.
Jess- … 
Jess- I would say something about you needing psychological help again but having met her boyfriend I’m going to suggest you wear a shirt that shows a lot of cleavage. I’ll have one sent over.
Lena- Thank you Jess.

Jess- Eve, I’m sending Miss Luthor a shirt. When it arrives take it and her makeup bag to her and have security let you know when Kara arrives so you can tell Miss Luthor.
Eve- Okay!
Eve- Uh… why does she need a new shirt?
Jess- Eve how have you not put it together yet?
Eve- Oh I know all about Miss Luthor and Mr Olsen it’s very cute.
Jess- I wouldn’t get my hopes up with that.
Jess- Wait what do you think is happening between her and Kara?
Eve- Oh Kara’s spying on her for Supergirl and Miss Luthor is aware and feeding her false information.
Jess- No Eve!
Jess- No! 
Jess- Just give her the shirt tell her she looks great and then sit at your desk and try not to be so straight for five minutes.

Jess- Miss Luthor I feel compelled to alert you that Eve is an idiot.
Lena- What did she do?
Jess- She thinks you’re cute with Mr Olsen and that Kara is spying on you for Supergirl.
Lena- OMG!
Lena- Wait is she!?
Jess- Miss Luthor reread everything I said.
Lena- Sorry. 
Lena- But why would she think Kara is spying on me?
Jess- Because she’s always looking at you when you’re not looking at her and vice versa.
Jess- ((Attachment video))
Lena- Huh…
Lena- So why is she looking at me?
Jess- Maybe because you have a wardrobe you specifically tailored to attract her attention.
Lena- Well at least the fifty thousand was worth it.
Jess- It pains me how much money you’ve spent on just trying to be noticed by this woman.
Lena- Well what else am I supposed to do?
Jess- Tell her how you feel!
Lena- And risk losing my best friend? No not happening. Besides she’s still dating gay frat boy.
Jess- Why is he gay now?
Lena- He was always gay. He hugged Jack for a long time and talked about a “manection”
Jess- … oh wow
Lena- Yep
Lena- Maybe I should just introduce him to a lot of good looking men and see what happens.
Jess- Do you really think that would work?
Lena- No. He’s dating Kara and nothing could pull anyone away from that woman. But I can dream.
Jess- Just because you’re hopelessly in love with Ms Danvers doesn’t mean everyone else is.
Lena- Would you pick a man over her?
Jess- No, but I’m also a married lesbian.
Lena- Really? I didn’t know that.
Jess- No, but some days it feels like it.
Lena- Who’s your wife then?
Jess- Eve. She calls me three times a day and declares her love for me each time then sends me gifts of food and tea. 
Lena- That sounds nice.
Jess- It kind of is. Apart from those three calls all being because she can’t work out you’re in love with Kara and instead she thinks it’s some kind of secret Super Luthor feud thing with spies and secret codes. That or her idiot boyfriend being insensitive.
Lena- I’ll try to drop a hint otherwise.
Jess- I outright told her and she nodded and winked. I’m pretty sure she thinks that’s a code.
Lena- Jesus. I thought she was smart.

Lena- Jess you remember how I was breaking up with Olsen.
Jess- You forgot?
Lena- Yes and Eve scheduled us for dinner tonight and is being very nice about it clearing my schedule and such.
Jess- Go have a nice dinner. Break up with him, then go home and tell Kara you’re all broken up about it and need her to come comfort you.
Lena- Oh that’s good. Thank you Jess.
-
Jess- So are you single again?
Lena- No. 
Lena- I blame scotch.
Jess- Dare I ask
Lena- We went to dinner, and talked about Kara, and Supergirl, and then we decided to go back to my place so we could drink the good stuff and keep talking about how pretty Kara is. Then we had sex again and when I woke up this morning he was doing up my dress for me when Reign smashed through my window. Now Supergirl is being real bitchy about me having Kryptonite.
Jess- Why do you have Kryptonite?!
Lena- I forgot I had it still. I just needed to see if it was possible to make then I was going to destroy it but then Kara came to surprise me with lunch and I just threw it in the vault to deal with later. Then later never came.
Jess- What did you tell Supergirl was the reason?
Lena- something vague. She got all offended and now I think we’re fighting.
Jess- that’s not good.
Lena- If she kills me tell Kara I love her.
Jess- Why can’t you just tell her you love her and we skip the whole tragic death thing?
Lena- Because if she doesn’t love me back I’ll die of embarrassment 
Jess- Miss Luthor, has anyone called you a drama queen before?
Lena- Lex, I was eight and told him I was dying when I had the flu.
Jess- …
Jess- Never thought I’d say this but Lex was right.
Lena- Ouch.

Lena- Jess why does it say tell Kara how you feel in my schedule every Thursday evening?
Jess- I decided you needed a reminder it was an option.
Lena- She’s still dating Mike.
Jess- You’re much prettier than Mike.
Lena- True.
Jess- So tell her!
Lena- No can’t risk it. I’m in too deep.
Lena- I need proof she likes me back first.
Jess- And what would you consider proof?
Lena- Her declaring her love for me in a non platonic way. 
Lena- Her kissing me. 
Lena- A large collection of diary entries all focused on her romantic and sexual feelings for me.
Lena- Hard evidence.
Jess- That may be hard to acquire.
Lena- I know.

Eve- Jess what is wrong with Miss Luthor she seems stressed.
Jess- Has she seen Kara today?
Eve- No she’s late I think. Should I call her? Wait no I’ll call James.
Jess- Do not call James!
Eve- …
Jess- You called James didn’t you?
Eve- They’re talking it’s cute.
Jess- Eve is she smiling?
Eve- Uh kinda…
Eve- Wait now she is!
Jess- Can you see Kara?
Eve- Uh… yes
Jess- What is Kara wearing?
Eve- A shirt and slacks.
Jess- Try and find an excuse for Kara to bend over near Miss Luthor. She’ll be in a much better mood.
Eve- But she was smiling, oh wait no she seems sad now James has left.
Jess- Do NOT send him back in!
Jess- If you want to improve her mood send Kara and only Kara.
Eve- Oh! I think I get it now.
Jess- Finally!
Eve- Whenever she has a fight with James she needs to talk to her bestie.
Jess- …
Jess- No Eve.
Eve- ??
Jess- Just. No. Let’s try this again. Pay attention. 
Jess- Miss Luthor is in love with Kara Danvers. 
Jess- She has a massive crush on her.
Jess- She wants to marry and have a family with the woman.
Jess- She is so blinded by love for the girl that she hasn’t noticed the obvious.
Jess- She spent fifty thousand dollars on a wardrobe specifically to attract Kara’s attention.
Jess- She bought Catco because Morgan Edge taking over would have made Kara sad.
Jess- She is in love with KARA.
Eve- I’m sorry Jess but I don’t think I follow all that. Is this part of those secret codes?
Jess- I give up!

Jess- Miss Luthor, I think there may be something seriously wrong with Eve.
Lena- Why?
Jess- {screenshot of conversation}
Lena- …
Lena- You know I feel a bit silly when you lay it all out like that.
Jess- Does this mean you’ll actually do something about it?
Lena- No.
Lena- Luthor remember. We don’t risk our hearts.
Jess- Sometimes it’s hard to believe you’re the CEO of two major corporations and a brilliant engineer.
Lena- Everyone has their flaws.
Jess- Yours is shaped like Ms Danvers.
Lena- I have accepted my fate.

Lena- Jess what is a simple gift I can give Kara to show I care but not… you know
Jess- Not show you’re desperately in love with her and want to have her babies.
Lena- I’ll have you know I’m not that bad.
Lena- Though any children of hers would be adorable.

Jess- Eve what is Miss Luthor doing?
Eve- Staring out a window smiling.
Jess- Go in and tell her she has a meeting soon.
Eve- But she doesn’t have a meeting.
Jess- I know but someone needs to snap her out of her daydreaming.
Eve- Oh!
Eve- How did you know she was daydreaming?
Jess- I made the mistake of mentioning her having a future with Kara and children.
Eve- Aw cute I didn’t know Miss Luthor was interested in being a mother.
Jess- Only to Kara’s children. 
Eve- Why would she want to be mother to Kara’s children? Oh like a surrogate?
Jess- No Eve, like a wife. Back to hetero jail for you.

Jess- Excuse me Ms Danvers would you be able to do something for me?
Kara- Hello Jess! 
Kara- Sure!
Kara- What do you need?
Jess- Miss Luthor is pretending she doesn’t have a headache. Tomorrow it’ll be a migraine and she tends to fire people for incompetence when that happens.
Kara- Oh no!
Kara- Does she need medication? 
Kara- A special tea?
Jess- No nothing like that. 
Jess- I hope this isn’t too much to ask but Ms Danvers I know you’re one of very few people she feels comfortable accepting physical contact from. Can you please go in there pretend to notice her headache and offer her a head massage. She’ll probably say no at first because she hates asking for anything but I know it’ll be the difference between her having a migraine tomorrow and not.
Kara- Of course! Happy to help. 
Kara- I’m nearby. I’ll be up in five.
Jess- Thank you Ms Danvers. 

Jess- Miss Luthor Kara Danvers will be here shortly. You have a headache.
Lena- Thank you Jess.
Lena- What do you mean I have a headache?
Jess- You have a headache. It’s very painful and very distracting. Just trust me.

Lena- Jess did you tell Kara I needed a massage to get rid of a migraine?
Jess- Yes.
Jess- Happy Birthday Miss Luthor.
Lena- That was incredibly underhanded, manipulative, and sneaky. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. That being said, thank you Jess.
Jess- You’re welcome Miss Luthor
— 
Nia Nal- Greetings Jess, my name is Nia Nal I am contacting you on behalf of myself and the staff of Catco magazine in the interest of getting your assistance in a matter that is very close to our hearts. We were advised by Eve that you were the person with the best understanding of our new CEO. In the interest of not causing offense or alarm we wish for your advice on how best to present our requests regarding the staff Christmas party.
Jess- I’m a busy woman be short and tell me exactly what you want?
Nia- A big fancy staff Christmas party with like an open bar, a kickass DJ, and caviar. Rich stuff. Could we get that?
Jess- Yes, but it will require some discretion and a promise from you Miss Nal that what I tell you will not be used against Miss Luthor or appear in print in any form.
Nia- Done.
Jess- I’m afraid you’re going to need to sign something in person and what I tell you will not be communicated in any traceable text format.
Nia- I can be at L Corp in twenty minutes.

Jess- When Miss Nal goes in to meet with Miss Luthor make sure Kara goes in one minute later.
Eve- Okay…
Eve- Why?
Jess- Do you want an amazing staff party with an open bar this year?
Eve- Yes!
Jess- Then make sure Kara goes in a minute after Miss Nal.

Nia- You are amazing!
Jess- You’re welcome. Remember your half of the deal.
Nia- It shall be done. Cross my heart.

Lena- Jess I have just agreed to the most extravagant staff Christmas party of my life because of a cup of coffee.
Jess- Oh really?
Lena- Yes. Miss Nal was outlining the staff’s ridiculous requests when Kara came in then somehow the coffee ended up all over Kara’s shirt and then I was helping her take it off because I didn’t want her to get burnt. Then I saw her abs and I don’t really remember what happened after but Miss Nal kept talking and then Kara was standing there her shirt open agreeing with her and talking excitedly about a fountain and I signed off on the Christmas party without thinking.
Jess- I’m sure it’s not that bad.
Lena- There’s going yo be a chocolate fountain and ice sculptures of kittens.
Jess- Kara’s request?
Lena- Yes. She was very happy.
Jess- Well that’s nice.
Lena- Yes, but thinking back Kara said she thought I had asked her to come to my office, and I hadn’t. 
Jess- Interesting. Maybe Eve got confused.
Lena- Or maybe someone asked you for help.
Jess- Are you upset?
Lena- No. But I would like to know what you got out of it.
Jess- Supergirl is going to help me move my furniture.
Lena- You could just hire movers for that.
Jess- Yes, but it’s not the moving furniture I want her for.
Lena- Do I want to know?
Jess- No I think it best you remain in the dark. For your own good.
Lena- Noted.

Kara- Alex I have a problem!
Alex- A Kara or Super problem?
Kara- … Both I think.
Alex- Explain.
Kara- Okay so I promised Nia a favour and she wouldn’t tell me what it was and she seemed really embarrassed about it but said it was the price for the chocolate fountain at the staff Christmas party. Which is going to be awesome by the way. I can’t believe Lena agreed to it especially after Nia spilled coffee all over my shirt. That was so awkward I had to pretend it was hot and then I was standing in Lena’s office with my shirt open. I wasn’t wearing my supersuit so stop worrying. And Lena was staring at my abs then Nia was like “So can we have that Miss Luthor?” And Lena was just staring at me and it was really embarrassing as I was trying not to flex my abs in case she thought I was faking it as I shook my shirt pretending to be cooling down from the hot coffee and then Lena just made this noise and signed the paper Nia gave her saying she could have anything she wanted. Then Nia dragged me out to get a new shirt. Anyway so she said I had to help Jess, Lena’s assistant Jess, move into her new place as Supergirl. So there I am carrying boxes in and Lena’s assistant is on the phone to Eve and she’s telling her Lena is in love with me. Not me Supergirl but me Kara and I just had to pretend I wasn’t the person they were talking about and Alex it was so weird because Jess kept bringing up all this stuff and it’s making me feel like she might be right. Alex does Lena stare at me when I’m not looking? She doesn’t right because that would be weird. And I don’t stare at her all the time do I? Oh Rao Alex I think I do. Is that bad? Alex could I be in love with Lena and not have realised until now?
Alex- This is one of those texts that should have been a call.
Kara- ???
Alex- Call me!
— 
Lena- Jess I think something is wrong with Kara.
Jess- Oh no, what’s she said.
Lena- She keeps staring at me and then blushing and then avoiding me then she just turns up stammers for a moment and pretends she forgot something and runs off.
Jess- Hmm sounds serious.
Jess- Maybe she’s twigged she’s gay for you. You should tell her how you feel.
Lena- Hard evidence Jess.
Jess- Fine, I’ll get you some damn evidence.

Jess- Ms Danvers I have had certain things brought to my attention and I feel it best to bring these concerns to you.
Kara- Hi Jess!
Kara- Sounds serious. What can I do?
Jess- Confess your very gay feelings to Lena then kiss her, preferably after work hours, and then tell her you’re Supergirl.
Kara- What?!?
Kara- No I don’t!
Kara- I don’t have any gay feelings for Lena. I’m very straight.
Kara- She’s my best friend that would be totally against the best friend code.
Kara- You’re seeing things we’re just friends.
Kara- Best friends.
Kara- And she’s dating James and they’re very happy.
Kara- … I guess the missing the whole Supergirl comment kinda undermined the rest of it.
Jess- Yes
Jess- Also she’s only in a relationship with Mr Olsen because she keeps forgetting to break up with him. I’ll handle it.
Kara- So what do I do?
Jess- Well the staff Christmas party is next week. You should wear a nice suit and arrive late. Find Lena and pull her away from whatever idiot man is hitting on her and invite her to dance. Get very close and whisper in her ear about how she looks beautiful then suggest getting out of there so you can show her how you feel about her both in and out of that dress. Take her home confess your feelings, kiss her passionately, tell her you’re Supergirl then take her to bed.
Kara- You seem to have given this a lot of thought.
Jess- Miss Luthor sometimes talks to herself. I took notes.
Kara- Right.
Kara- I don’t suppose you know where I can get a good suit.
Jess- I’ve made you an appointment for Wednesday morning. The details are in your inbox. Don’t worry about the cost it’s already covered.
Kara- I feel like I should question that.
Jess- Do you want Miss Luthor to forgive you instantly for not telling her earlier that you’re Supergirl?
Kara- Yes
Jess- Then you won’t argue with me. You will keep your appointment and do exactly what I tell you.
Kara- Yes Jess.
Jess- We’re going to get along well Ms Danvers.

Jess- Miss Luthor I am getting you a Christmas gift.
Lena- Thank you Jess but you really don’t need to. 
Jess- It’s not that kind of gift and technically you’re paying for it.
Lena- So I’m getting me a gift you picked out.
Jess- Yes.
Jess- You’ll be very pleased.
Lena- I’m sure I will. Is it shiny?
Jess- No. But it is pretty.
Lena- Is it a person because I already told you not to do that.
Jess- Really Miss Luthor it’s like you have no faith in me.
Lena- Sorry Jess I’m sure whatever it is will be perfect.
Jess- It will, also I’ve scheduled your breakup with Mr Olsen for Tuesday, don’t forget to actually do it this time otherwise your present will be wasted.
Lena- Oh I keep forgetting about him. Yes will do. Thank you Jess.

Eve- Jess why does Miss Luthor have “Break up with James” in her calendar for tonight.
Jess- It’s a code Eve.
Eve- Oh, got it. I’ll leave it.
Jess- Very good Eve.
Eve- What’s it code for?
Jess- I’m afraid I can’t share that but it will be very satisfying for all involved. You’ll see after the Christmas party. Also please make sure she gets the package I’ve sent marked breakup and remind her she’s got her breakup with James this evening.
Eve- Okay!

Jess- I am just checking you’ve broken up with Mr Olsen.
Lena- Yes. 
Lena- Though I feel like the five reminders and pre-written breakup flashcards were a bit over the top.
Jess- Did you use them?
Lena- Yes
Jess- Then you’re welcome. 
Jess- Also you have an appointment with your dressmaker for your new dress in the morning.
Lena- I’m getting a new dress?
Jess- Yes for the staff Christmas party.
Lena- Oh that’s fine Jess I was just going to wear one I already have.
Jess- Do you want Kara to fall to her knees and worship you forever?
Lena- You know I think I need a new dress for the Christmas party.
Jess- You need a new dress.

Eve- Jess?
Jess- Yes Eve.
Eve- Are you going to the staff Christmas party at Catco.
Jess- Yes I have to supervise some things.
Eve- Oh so you’ll be working the whole time?
Jess- Some of it. Once things are taken care of I’ll be free. 
Jess- Why? Do you need a buffer between you and your boyfriend?
Eve- No, I was just thinking it might be nice to maybe see you in person. Maybe we can talk about not work things.
Jess- Oh. Well I’m certainly happy to do that at the party. There is going to be a chocolate fountain after all.
Eve- I still can’t believe Miss Luthor agreed to that.
Jess- Love makes us all blind. Especially when the one we love is undressing in front of us.
Eve- Someone undressed in front of her?
Jess- Don’t worry. I’ll see you at the party.
Eve- See you Saturday!

Jess- Miss Luthor
Lena- Yes Jess?
Jess- Go home. Shower, spend some time pampering yourself and then get dressed for the party tonight.
Lena- I’m fine Jess I still have a few things to sort out.
Jess- Miss Luthor this is not a discussion. Go home, shower, spend some time pampering yourself and then get dressed for the party tonight. 
Lena- Is this to do with my present?
Jess- Yes.
Lena- I’m leaving now.

Eve- Jess where are you?
Jess- Chocolate fountain, it has the best view for what’s about to come.
Eve- Can I watch with you?
Jess- Sure.

Lena- Jess get me a meeting with Andrea Rojas I’m selling Catco.
Jess- Why? I thought things went well last night. They certainly looked like they were when you left in Kara’s arm.
Lena- I have strict policy about management dating subordinates and I’m going to marry Kara so I need to sell Catco.
Lena- Also I’m not coming in today.
Jess- I’ve already cleared everything.
Jess- And congratulations.
Lena- Jess, thank you. For everything.
Jess- You’re welcome Miss Luthor.

Eve- Jess?
Jess- Yes Eve?
Eve- There was no code was there.
Jess- No Eve.
Eve- I was just really stupid.
Jess- Yes, but it’s okay so were they.
Jess- What clued you in at last?
Eve- I just walked into her office and found Miss Luthor shirtless with Kara on her desk and one hand down Kara’s pants.
Jess- Well just knock in future and you’ll be fine. 
Eve- I can’t believe I didn’t notice before.
Jess- Well you did think you were straight too and we both know now how very wrong that was.
Eve- True.
Eve- Jess?
Jess- Yes Eve?
Eve- Miss Luthor is finishing at seven to go on a date with Kara.
Jess- Yes?
Eve- Well it just means I’ll be done at seven and I was thinking we could maybe meet up and… go over some paperwork.
Jess- Seven thirty my place. I’ll cook you bring dessert. 
Eve- See you then!