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What now?

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Kara’s point of view.

‘’I found out the day I killed my brother’’ Lena tells me. She is standing across from me. I see the pain in her eyes. It’s taken over her whole body. I notice the trembling in her lips. The only thing I want to do is take a step closer to her. To tell her that she didn’t kill her brother. That I was the one who killed Lex, not her.

I hesitate for a second but when I’m about to take step closer towards Lena she backs away. I notice the distance in her composure. She looks uncomfortable so I decide to stay still. Hoping for Lena to tell me what’s on her mind.

I see Lena staring at me with disgust. I can feel the tension in the room. It send shivers down my spine. Even though my instinct tells me not to talk I do it anyway. ‘’Lena,  you didn't  kill  Lex,  that  was  me.  I...  I  watched  him...  I  saw  him  fall’’ I tell her. Trying to convince Lena that she really wasn’t the one who killed him.

  Lena chuckles sarcastically before she starts talking. ‘’You saw  him  fall,  but  did  you  see  him  land?  Did  you  see  him  die?  I  did,  and let  me  tell  you,  it  wasn't  pretty’’.

I look confused at Lena. ‘’That’s impossible’’ I say to her.

Lena looks at me. Her eyes are filled with hate. I never saw it before in her eyes and somehow it made me realize what was happening. Everything I was so afraid off, was happening right in this moment.

I wanted to say something to Lena. To try to reason with her but before I could open my mouth Lena started talking to me.

‘’Anything's  possible when  you're  a  Luthor.  Lex  used  his  transmitter   portal  watch.  I  knew exactly  where  he'd  go.  To  the  cabin  we  loved  when  we  were  children,  so  I was  there  waiting  for  him.  I  had  the  gun  ready...  loaded.  I  could  feel the  weight  of  it  in  my  hands.  Every  fiber  in  my  being  rebelled,  but  I... I  didn't  want  to  do  it,  but  I  knew  I  had  to  because  if  Lex  lived,  the world  wouldn't  be  safe,  my  friends  wouldn't  be  safe.  So  I  forced  myself to  pull  the  trigger.  I  shot  my  own  brother  in  the  chest.  His  final  words to  me  were...  that  I  was  a  fool,  that  my  best  friend,  that  every  friend  I had  was  lying  to  me.  With  his  dying  breath,  he  told  me  that  you  were Supergirl...’’ Lena told me.

I looked right at Lena. Her eyes were filling with tears. I saw the hate disappear in her eyes. It was replaced with guilt and an intense amount of pain. All I want to do is hug her. To tell her how much she really means to me. To tell her that I would never, ever want to hurt her. To tell her she’s my world. But, I know that will only make things worse. I know I have to keep it in, in order for her to tell me what’s on her mind. Even though I know I won’t like what’s going to happen.

I pull myself together before saying something back. I take a deep breath before looking at Lena again. I try to hold back my tears back.

‘’ Lena,  you  have  to  believe  me,  I  never  meant  to  humiliate  you’’ I tell her with all the sincerity I have. I never meant to hurt her by keeping my identity a secret. There were so many times that I wanted to tell her. But never could.

‘’No.  When  I  came  to  this  city,  I  promised  myself  that  I  would  never  trust anyone  again,  and...  then  I  met  you.  You  chipped  away  at  my  armor  with your  warmth  and  your  earnestness,  and  you  convinced  me  to  trust  in  people and  friendship  again,  and  against  my  better  judgment,  I  did,  all  the while  telling  you  about  my  Achilles  heel...  betrayal.  I  confided  in  you that  everyone  in  my  past  had  betrayed  me.  About  how  much  it  hurt...  to have  someone  you  love  lie  to  you  and  betray  you.  I  spelled  it  out  to  you over  and  over  again,  essentially  begging  you  not  to  violate  my  trust, begging  you  not  to  prove  that,  once  again,  I  was  a  fool.  You  reassured  me ad  nauseam  that  you  would  never  lie  to  me,  that  you'd  never  hurt  me.  And all  the  while,  there  wasn't  a  single  honest  moment  in  our  friendship...’’ Lena yells at me. She struggles with her words but I know she means all of them. Especially the part about our friendship. I know she hates me. She hates me for lying to her. For keeping my secret.

The friendship part gets to me the most. The fact that Lena thinks that I was never honest with our friendship hurts a lot. ‘’ No!  No,  that  is  not  true...’’ I try to tell her. Trying to show her that I do care but she doesn’t want to hear it. I’m about to take a step closer to her but Lena backs away from me. She is upset and by me trying to reach for she reached her limit

‘’No!  I  killed  my  brother  for  you,  for  our friends!  Don't  you  understand  what  you've  done?’’ Lena screams out. Her cheeks are filled with tears. She is in so much pain and I know I am to blame for it.

I want to hug her. To comfort her. To know that she’s not alone in the pain she is feeling but I know she would never let me. So, I keep my distance and I try to figure out what to say to her. I know no words would be enough to make up for what happened. ‘’ When  you  found  out,  why didn't  you  come...  to  me  right  away,  so  I  could  explain... ‘’ I try to reason with Lena.

‘’Explain? Yeah’’ she scoffs at me. I hear the disgust in her voice. She’s done with me and I know it.

‘’ If  you  hate  me  so  much,  why...  Why  not  out  me  at  the  Pulitzer party?  Why  pretend  to  still  be  my  friend  this  long?’’ I ask her. Tears are running down my cheeks while I am trying to find the right words. The fact that Lena Luthor, my best friend, or the person who used to be my best friend, hates me is too much for me to handle.

Lena chuckles at me. She regains her composure before looking at me. I see the change in her behavior and it scares me. She was emotional a few seconds ago but somehow she managed to change her entire demeanor in just a moment. ‘’Because  I  wanted  you to  experience  what  you  did  to  me.  Feel  what  I  felt’’ she spills out to me.

I know that she means every word of it. But I want try to reason with her. I know she can’t take Myriad with her. No one would understand why she would take it. People would blame her even more for being a Luthor. The name she had despised so much from the beginning. That even I sometimes was guilty of having doubts about her, just because of her last name.

‘’ I  understand  your pain  and  your  fury  and...  And  you're  right.  I  made  a  big  mistake,  maybe the  biggest  mistake  of  my  life,  but  please...  Lena,  please  don't  leave the  Fortress  with  Myriad.  Please  don't  let  my  mistake  push  you  to  do something  terrible.  You  are  a  good  person’’ I tell her. I want to say so much more. I want to tell her that I love her. That she’s the reason why I am still Supergirl. But I know she would never believe me. Not after this.

Lena shakes her head at me. ‘’No!  No,  you  don't  ever  get  to  tell  me  who  or  what  I  am  again’’.

I’m about to say something to her. But I’m interrupted by the fortress defenses.

‘’Intruder! Intruder!’’ I hear throughout the fortress.

I look at Lena who’s clearly enjoying what’s happening right now. I’m trying to take in what just happened. I realize that Lena must have done something. ‘’Did  you  reprogram  the  Fortress  defenses  to  attack  me?’’ I ask her silently.

‘’Yes.  And I  rigged  it  to  answer  to  this  little  button  I  have  in  my  hand’’ Lena nods at me. Before showing me the button in her hand. I see her press the button. In that second I’m stuck in my place. I feel my entire body becoming heavy. That’s the exact moment I feel the kryptonite spreading throughout my veins. I feel the burning ache becoming worse and worse. I try to regain focus but it’s almost impossible. The kryptonite never gets easier to handle. The fact that Lena just used kryptonite on me is even worse. I look at Lena, pleading for her to stop.

‘’Are you going to kill me..?’’ I somehow say. I have no idea how I even got the words out between the pain of the kryptonite creeping around throughout my entire body.

…..

Lena’s point of view.

The words Kara, or Supergirl, just said to me echo throughout my entire body. I sense the pain in the sentence Kara just said to me. I look away for a second at the ground because knowing Kara is in front of me, dying inside from the pain I just inflicted on her is too much for me. I don’t know when I have become like this but it scares me to death. I just never, ever imagined me actually doing this to her. To the girl I had fallen in love with all these months ago. Now, everything has gone to shit. Everything was ruined and I know I can never take any of this back.

‘’Please..Lena..’’ Kara begs me. I can hear the pleading in her voice. It makes me realize that even though Kara is Supergirl she’s just as fragile as me. She as well has her pain. Now, I was the reason she was in pain. I realize in this moment I’m no better than her. I just gave my Luthor name a whole new meaning.

‘’Lena..please make it stop!’’ Kara begs me again.

I look up at Kara and see her face filled with green veins. It’s the kryptonite that has gotten to her and it gets worse by the second. I look at Kara one more time before grabbing the button from my pocket. I press it in the hope it shuts down the defense system. I want to make it stop. But I realize something is terribly wrong when the system won’t shut down. To make it even worse Kara gets injected with even more kryptonite.

‘’Lena..’’ are the last words from Kara before I see falling onto the ground. I speed towards Kara and catch her in my arms before she reaches the ground. I sit on my knees with Kara’s head on my lap when I see her blue eyes staring at me. ‘’I..Lena..’’she mumbles to me. But I can’t make out what Kara is trying to say. Before she can finish her sentence, her eyes close.

‘’No!’’ I scream out to Kara. ‘’Stay with me. Damn it.. I’m so sorry! Oh my god’’ I just realized I might have killed Kara right in my arms. Tears are filling my eyes and they drip down on Kara’s logo of her suit. I look around to fortress but I don’t know what to do. I feel Kara fading away with every second.

 

……

Alex’ point of view.

The minute I lost contact with Kara I knew right away something was wrong. I called Clark just to be sure so I could get to fortress if needed to help Kara.

Clark came to the DEO right away when I notified him that I lost sight of Kara. He grabs me before he flies of towards the fortress. Within a minute I stand inside the fortress with Superman.

Clark puts me down on the ground when we finally reach the room where all the weapons are stored that Lex Luthor made. I look around the room when I notice Lena with Kara in her arms. Lena seems to be sobbing and Kara seems to be unconscious.

I grab my gun from my side and aim it at Lena while I run towards Kara and Lena. I look with disbelief at the sight of Kara who is clearly affected by kryptonite. ‘’What did you do to her?! I growl out to Lena while aiming my gun at her head.

Lena looks up and I see her green eyes filled with tears. She looks heartbroken. I notice the trembling in her voice when she answers my question. ‘’I..I used kryptonite on her..’’ Lena mumbles to me between her tears.

‘Hearing those words. The words that I was always afraid of that would happen made me go insane. I readied the gun and pulled the trigger within seconds. The sound of my gun going of was hearable throughout the entire fortress.

Lena looks at me with shock in her eyes when she realized what I just did.