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I Forgot That You Existed

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Kara sank down into the plastic chair in the corner of the room as the DEO team wheeled Lena’s gurney into the room and made quick work of transferring her to the bed and attaching all the various sensors and machines to her.


“She jumped right in front of me, Alex!” Kara cried, running her hands down her face. “Why would she do that? I’m literally invincible! She knows this!”


Alex gave her a sympathetic smile and rubbed her back, trying to think of more reassuring words than ‘because she’s a lovestruck idiot’. 


“Kara, sometimes in the heat of the moment you forget all reason. Lena loves you. She wants to protect you from harm. I’m sure jumping in front of the beam made the most logical sense to that end, for her.”


Kara huffed and slumped further down into the plastic chair, clutching her blonde curls in her fists. 


“I just need her to be okay.”


Alex pulled her sister into a tight hug, squeezing as hard as she could so that the Kryptonian would feel it, and hopefully find some reassurance in the pressure.


“She will be. The effects are only temporary. She probably won’t remember anything when she first wakes up, and you might have to talk her down from a panic, but she’ll be okay physically. The memories will come back.”


Kara sighed and leaned further into the hug. 


“I hope you’re right.”


Alex smiled. “I am. Why don’t you go home and take a shower? You can come back in the morning. She might be awake by then.”


But Kara was already shaking her head quickly as she pulled out of the hug. 


“No, I’m not leaving her. I’ll be here when she wakes up.” 


She made her suit dematerialise, leaving her in her chinos and button up from work that day, and slid her reformed glasses up onto her nose. Rising slightly from her seat, she shuffled forward closer to Lena’s bedside, pulling the chair along with her, then plopped back down in it, taking Lena’s limp, clammy hand.


Alex sighed and shook her head, letting her hand trail across Kara’s back as she exited the medbay. 


“I’ll see you in the morning.”


Kara gave a noncommittal grunt, too focused on Lena’s steady breathing, on her slower than normal heartbeat, on the way her eyes flicked back and forth under their lids. 


It had happened out of nowhere. They’d been fighting some alien from Momentia-19 that had the ability to shoot beams out of their hands that caused temporary amnesia. Not too big of a deal as long as Kara dodged them -- it was mainly just a defense mechanism to get their opponent to forget why they were fighting -- but the lithe extraterrestrial had gotten the drop on her and had been about to hit her with the indigo blast when Lena (where had she even come from? She was supposed to stay at the DEO!) had full on jumped in front of her.


It was stupid. Kara was invincible to anything but Kryptonite and Lena knew that, yet she had jumped in the line of fire anyway. And now she was laying in a hospital bed, unconscious and unaware of the turmoil she was causing in her fiancée, as the blonde’s gaze flicked back and forth between the monitors and her pale features.


She had to be okay, Kara willed quietly. It was just temporary amnesia, right? Even for fragile humans?


She spent the next hour studying Lena’s every unconscious movement until finally she fell asleep, slumped forward with her cheek against the back of Lena’s hand.




She woke to the sound of bedsheets slip-sliding against each other and grumbled at the disturbance, which stopped as soon as she made a noise.


Slowly, Kara gained her bearings and lifted her head off of the DEO bed, noting the small drool puddle left in her wake. Blinking slowly, she turned to check on Lena to find two large blue-green eyes staring owlishly at her.


“Golly! You’re awake!” She leapt up from her chair and went to pull Lena into a hug, stopping short when the bedridden woman flinched away from her.


Right. She doesn’t remember you.


Pulling her arms back, she fiddled with her glasses as she mumbled out her apologies, face turning beet red with embarrassment.


“Oh. Um. Sorry. I didn’t mean to...I’ll just--I’ll go get the doctor.”


Turning on her heel, she fled the medbay, searching for Alex, hoping her sister was here this early. She found her in the cafeteria, pouring herself a large cup of coffee and yawning.


“Alex!” She shouted as she skidded to a halt, nearly taking out the door frame in her excitement. “She’s awake! Lena’s awake!”


Alex nearly dropped her mug in surprise, but quickly dashed out of the cafeteria after her sister. 




Kara shifted nervously as she watched Alex lean over Lena, taking her vitals and asking her questions. 


“What do you remember?” Alex asked, shining her pen light into Lena’s eyes.


“Not much,” Lena replied softly, her eyes flicking over to Kara curiously. 


“Hey, I need you to look at me -- great, thanks -- do you remember your name?”


Lena’s brow furrowed in thought. “Umm...Lena -- Lena Kieran Luthor, right?”


Alex nodded with a proud smile. “Great! Can you tell me about yourself? What you do? ...About your family?”




Lena’s brow crinkled and Kara thought she’d never looked cuter. It was difficult keeping away from her in this vulnerable position, but the last thing she wanted to do was scare her while Lena had no idea what was going on or where she was.


Lena’s eyes flicked back to Kara again, raking up and down her body, brow slightly arched, before she turned back to Alex and whispered, “Who’s the hottie?”


Alex blanched and her mouth dropped open, her eyes widening in horror. "That's -- just -- nobody. I need you to focus."


Lena reluctantly tore her eyes away from what she clearly would rather be focused on and turned back to Alex.


"I think if she asked nicely I would let her rail me until I forgot my name again. Probably if she didn't ask nicely too."


Alex looked like she was ready to both vomit her breakfast all over the bed, and run right out of the medbay all at once. 


“Um. You--she--can you just answer my question, please?”


Lena rolled her eyes, as if a cognitive exam was the least of her worries when there was a big hunk of blonde beef standing by her bedside.


Fine. I can’t remember anything beyond my name. Now who’s tall, blonde, and handsome over there?”


Kara suppressed a grin and looked at her feet, fiddling with her glasses as she felt the flush rise up in her cheeks.


Alex began stuttering and shoved a thermometer in Lena’s mouth, apparently just to make her stop talking, judging by the relieved sigh she gave out when the room went silent.


As soon as she removed it though, Lena started up again.


“No, but seriously, am I dead? Or did angels just start walking the earth? Because there's no way she's from this world--"


(Kara twisted her mouth to hide a smile at that assertion.)


"--I mean, I'm not a slut, but I would climb her like a tree.”


Lena frowned thoughtfully and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, working it gently. 


"Actually, I guess I don't really know if I'm a slut or not. But fuck if I wouldn't be one for that slab of beef. Have you seen those arms?"


Kara tried and failed to suppress a snort and Alex shot her a glare, removing her gloves quickly, looking like she'd rather be anywhere but here.


“You know what, you seem to be fine, physically--"


"I'd like to get to know her physically."


"--so why don’t I just let you two get reacquainted--"


"I'd like to reacquaint those thighs with either side of my face."


"--while I go somewhere very, very far away from here.”


Not even waiting for a reply, Alex swept from the room, the door whooshing closed after her.


Kara was still grinning at her retreating figure when she registered movement from Lena’s bed and looked over to find the CEO lying on her side, head propped up on her hand, looking at her with the hottest case of bedroom eyes that the hero had ever seen. 


It made her mouth very dry.


It made other parts of her not so dry.


“So,” Lena began, voice husky, a perfectly manicured brow arched in her direction, “She said re-acquainted. That implies we know each other.”


Kara cleared her throat and pushed her glasses up her nose, stepping closer to the bed. 


“You could say that. I’m, um, I’m Kara.”


“Kara.” She rolled the name across her tongue with such fervor and intensity that it sounded like a prayer to Rao. Something holy and reverent. It made Kara’s insides flip flop around. The low husk of her voice, still a little gravelly from sleep, the sweet lilt of her accent rolling over the ‘r’ in her name, it was doing nothing to quell the tempest in her chest. 


"That's a nice name. Suits you. But I think probably everything suits you when you look like that."


Kara could feel the flames crawling up her neck into her cheeks. She wasn't quite used to Lena being so forward and so -- well -- horny in public. Privately, that was a different story, but her Lena had a well-curated image of ineffability to maintain, and so she never really allowed herself to be suggestive or risqué outside of the bedroom. 


Clearly this amnesia-Lena did not share that same trepidation. 


It was kind of hot. 


“So, Kara,” Lena continued, emphasising her name and biting her lip as she ran her eyes up and down Kara’s figure, “please tell me we're sleeping together, because I don’t think it's possible for me to be ‘just friends’ with someone like you.”


Kara choked on her own breath and doubled over in a coughing fit, trying not to notice Lena’s smug smirk at her reaction.


“I -- you -- we -- yes, we’re engaged,” she finally choked out.


“Engaged?” Lena whispered, eyes going wide with shock as she let herself fall onto her back and stare up at the ceiling. There was silence for a moment and Kara could feel the anxiety creeping in, the insecurity that was always hidden under Supergirl’s confident stance. 


Was she about to find out that, deep down, Lena didn't want to be engaged? Was she not as invested in this as Kara? Was this a disappointment to her?


Kara’s fingers were just beginning to twitch when Lena finally spoke up again.


“Engaged... nice!” She glanced over at the blonde with a curious look. “So, um...just out of exactly did that happen?”


Kara tilted her head in confusion. “What do you mean?”


“I mean, how did someone like--” she gestured at Kara’s body, “you agree to marry--” she gestured down at herself, “me ?”


And Kara just wasn’t expecting that question, least of all with the implication that Kara was somehow above Lena or better than her. She bristled slightly at the wording.


“I didn’t agree to marry you, I asked you,” she replied firmly, putting her hands on her hips and infusing into her words some of that no-nonsense Daddy-ism that she always used with her future wife when she was being stubborn or naughty. "Because I love you. Because we're partners. Equals." 


You asked me?” Lena asked incredulously, eyes wide with shock. She sat silently for a moment, as if contemplating the implications of that statement. 


Fuck, I must have been Mother Teresa in a past life. Or maybe I trapped you somehow. Have they figured out mind control yet?”


Kara snorted and crossed her arms. "You certainly tried…" she muttered under her breath with a smile. 


Lena just stared at her curiously, but Kara didn't care to elaborate on that particular memory. 


"Wow... engaged," Lena breathed quietly, to no one in particular as she picked at the DEO linens. 


Her voice was softer and much less suggestive when she spoke again.


"Given my knee-jerk reaction to that knowledge, I get the feeling that I didn't think this was something that would ever happen for me."


And Kara didn’t really know what to say to that so she just huffed out a laugh and sat down in the chair by her bed again. They fell into comfortable silence as Lena lay staring up at the ceiling, her eyes occasionally sliding over to Kara, running up and down her body, always stopping for a moment on her biceps.


“So…” she began hesitantly, not taking her eyes off the ceiling, “since I don’t remember anything, I can't say for sure, but I'm thinking I don’t really have the same filters or insecurities that I usually have -- at least, based on your reactions to my questions. Am I right?”


Kara blushed, thinking back to her previous randy comments to Alex, and nodded. 


“Yeah, yeah I think that’s a fair assessment.” She cleared her throat. "You're certainly a bit more... open this way," she continued, laughing a little at the understatement.


Lena nodded, sucking her lips into her mouth. “Well, I have some questions, and scientifically, it would make sense to take advantage of the lack of insecurities to ask them. Wouldn’t you think so?" 


There was a familiar fear in her eyes that Kara recognised from so many late night, post-coital conversations. It was Lena's fear that she wouldn't measure up, wouldn't be good enough, wouldn't be worth Kara sticking around for.


Kara hated that look.  


"You know...for science,” Lena added quickly, when Kara didn't answer right away.


All traces of concern melted away and Kara smiled at the familiarity of the question. Lena often liked to preface things with ‘for science’ when she knew they were silly or when she wanted to break the tension. 


“Sure. For science.”


Lena took a deep breath and held it for a moment, before sitting up in bed and pulling the pillow around to hug it to her chest.


“Our relationship...are you -- is it -- are you happy?” 


And Kara heard the implicit question there. Do I make you happy? It seemed even without memories, some anxieties never really went away.


She grinned, reaching out to take Lena’s hand, squeezing it gently.


“The happiest. You make me happier than I ever imagined I could be. We’re happy, together.”


Lena blushed at that, squeezing Kara’s hand back. She blew out a breath and Kara got the distinct impression that she had been holding it until she got her answer. 


The thought made her a little sad. How could Lena not know what a light she was in the Kryptonian's life? Maybe her Lena did and amnesia-Lena just couldn't remember. Either way, she'd be doubling her efforts to make sure her fiancée knew how much she was loved.


She burned with purpose as Lena phrased her next question. 


“And what about our sex life? Are you happy with that? Satisfied? Is there anywhere you want me to step it up?”


There was no hesitation here, not like with the happiness question, and the bluntness made Kara choke on air again. At this rate, she was going to be the one on oxygen.


“Uh, no! -- I mean, yeah! Yeah, no that’s -- we’re good...there...with that particular, um, subject. Yep! That’s -- you’re -- we're -- it's great!”


That damn eyebrow was quirking up in amusement again, along with the corners of Lena's lips, and Kara wanted to be irritated but really there was no way she could be. 


Instead, she fiddled with her glasses and cleared her throat. 


"So, um, any other questions?"


Lena thought for a moment, then smiled shyly. "Tell me our story?"


Kara blew out a big breath and dropped into the plastic chair next to her bed. 


"Well now that's a good one." 


Lena smiled. "Yeah?"


"Yeah," Kara replied, taking her hand. "It gets a little rough around the middle, but the characters are pretty amazing and it has a happy ending." 


Lena blushed and tilted her head down. "Sounds like a good story already."


Kara tucked a raven lock behind a pink ear, the faintest smile crinkling her eyes. 


"It's my favourite one."




"You know, if you had just acted this horny when we first became friends, it would have saved us a lot of time and anguish."


"You know, if you had just told me you were Supergirl when we first became friends, it would have done that too."