The Autobots had been living on Earth for quite some time now. So they knew at this point that humans LOVED their holidays. There were so many, and they varied widely across nations and cultures. The nation they lived in alone had many varied holidays.
But our story doesn’t start with cards or an Autobot party. Our story, like many others, starts in the Ark’s laboratory. Wheeljack was putting samples of a certain chemical through various tests that he had obtained off-planet. Only, he hadn’t managed to figure out exactly what it was. It had a bright pink color, but it wasn’t energon. It also had a strange smell… similar to roses, the Earth flowers. So far though, he wasn’t able to figure out what it might be useful for.
“... I’m starting to wonder if the guy who sold this to me was Swindle in disguise,” said Wheeljack. “I can’t think what we’d use it for.”
Melody, a golden femme who worked both as a fellow engineer and in communications, walked up to him. “I’m sure there’s something it can be used for,” she said, trying to encourage her friend.
“All I can tell is that it doesn’t have anything poisonous to Cybertronians in it,” said Wheeljack. “So it won’t kill anyone who drinks it, but that’s about it.”
“Maybe you should take a break. It’s a holiday after all. You can come back to it later. The party is going to start soon.” The golden femme got him to put down his materials and leave to go get ready for the party.
What the two of them didn’t realize was another bot snuck into the now deserted lab once the two of them had left. Sideswipe smirked to himself. “So… Jackie’s got something safe to consume?” He went over to the liquid. “Huh, almost the exact color of energon… and floral-smelling?” He didn’t like the smell of most Earth flowers. “... I wonder how it’ll make the energon taste!” He gave a mischievous laugh, grabbed the vial, and fled the lab.
“Venus! That’s enough!” Dream said, squirming in her seat as her younger sister continued to poke, prode, and paint her.
“If you’d hold still, we’d be done sooner,” said Venus. “Honestly, it wouldn’t kill you to do more than just the basic touch up with paint for a party. You’re a pretty femme and it’s okay to flaunt that once in a while.”
“Well, I’m not trying to get mechs to look at me. And you’re dating Jazz.”
“What? I don't try to look like this for other mechs. This is for Jazz and me.”
“Prowl doesn’t ask me to get all dolled up.”
“Neither does Jazz, but still. Even Sunriser is taking time to look nice. She asked me for some red paint for her lips and some polish.”
“Oh she is, is she?”
“I think she’s trying to get Silverbolt’s attention.”
Dream chuckled a little. “She might make the poor mech faint.”
Venus chuckled. “Okay, just let me do your optics and lips, and we’ll be done. Try to hold still now so we don’t have to start over.”
If only this was where the chaos ended…
The recroom was decked out in red, pink, and white decorations. Hearts were everywhere. Red Alert thought there was too much lace, but no one listened, of course. Streamers were all over the walls, and there was confetti and glitter was everywhere. That was going to be rough to clean up. No one could say the Ark wasn’t a festive place.
Jazz and Blaster had all the music worked out. Energon was ready to enjoy. But it was when no one was watching, Sideswipe slipped the pink substance into the energon. He wanted to see what would happen. And he would have his answer rather quickly…
Dream and Venus were not expecting to hear a shriek when they arrived at the recroom.
“That sound doesn’t bode well,” said Dreamcatcher.
Venus cast a worried look at her sister and they walked into the recroom. First, they noticed Tracks had a mirror for some reason and was… talking to his reflection? That was odd, but not the worst thing.
The shriek had come from Skydancer when she had to dive out of the way of Emerald running from… Hound? Emerald would bever have run from Hound unless they were racing outside. “Get away!” Emerald yelled.
Fireflight grabbed Skydancer and pulled her under a table to hide from the crazies. He hugged his friend as they hid.
“... What the heck?!” Venus yelped, seeing bots getting weirdly over affectionate all over the recroom.
Somewhere, Sideswipe was hiding and murmuring, “This is NOT what I had in mind… I’m so dead for this…”
Even the almost always cool and collected Serenity was visibly unnerved as RED ALERT was holding her hand and kissing up her arm. “Red… I’ve never seen this side of you before…”
“Venus, we need to get to the cameras and find out what happened. Let’s go to the cameras!” The sisters tore off running. They didn’t even stop to look for Prowl and Jazz. They needed to find out what had happened.
The security booth had been left unattended at the moment… that was disturbing. The sisters went inside and to the cameras. “Let’s rewind back to the beginning of the party,” said Venus. After a couple of minutes rolling back the recordings, they noticed a certain red lambo.
“Of course,” Dream sighed. “It had to be one of Sideswipe’s pranks… but what is that stuff he put in?”
“I don’t know.”
“Maybe we can see if any of the science team is either unaffected or not at the party.”
“Good idea--AAAHHH!” Venus screeched as something knocked her to the ground. Dream rushed over to see what happened. What she found was Venus on her abdomen, on the ground, with her chin in her hand and her other hand’s fingers tapping on the ground. Her expression was one of great annoyance as none other than Jazz nuzzled into her back. And, oddly, Dream noticed his visor was ever so slightly tinged purple… not his usual blue.
“... I think it’s safe to guess he drank the energon,” Dream sighed.
“Sissy, watch out! Prowl’s behind you!” Venus cried suddenly.
Dream whirled around, but Prowl just stood there, holding up his hands in front of him. His optics were their normal blue shade. “I just came here after Jazz,” said Prowl.
Dream relaxed. “Prowl, what happened? What did you see?”
“It was most odd. Jazz took just one sip of energon, his visor became tinged, and all it took was one look at Venus for him to start coming after her.”
“We just saw on the security footage that Sideswipe put something in the energon. That must be what’s making bots go crazy.”
“Can either of you get me out from under here?” Venus cut in, sounding annoyed as Jazz remained on top of her and nuzzling into her back.
Prowl tried to pry Jazz off Venus, but Jazz just held on tighter, glaring at Prowl. “It’s no use,” said Prowl, after a while. “He’s not letting go.”
“Venus, you might have to convince him,” Dream said.
“Fine. You two go find Sideswipe and get help without me. I’ll catch up.”
Dream and Prowl went to find the wayward red Lambo. They found him sneaking out of the recroom. “Stop right there!” said Prowl. “What did you do to the energon?”
“Okay, okay!” said Sideswipe, putting his hands up as if in surrender. “I grabbed the stuff Wheeljack got from off-world. I heard Wheeljack say it was safe to consume, so I put in the energon to see what would happen.”
“I can’t believe you did that!” Dream gasped.
“Trust me, I regret it!” said Sideswipe. “I’ve never seen that many bots kissing in one room and I’m grossed out! I just escaped watching Hound kissing grumpy Emerald and Mirage saying the sappiest thing I ever heard to Mercury!”
“Well, how do we fix this?” Dream asked.
“Is Wheeljack in there?” Prowl asked.
“I didn’t see him,” said Sideswipe.
“Then let’s go to the lab and see if the scientists know what to do.” The three of them left and ran into the lab.
“What’s going on?” Skyfire asked, seeing the three freaked out bots running in.
“Sideswipe put something into the energon. Something Wheeljack got off planet,” said Dream.
“That’s where the rest of it went!” Wheeljack piped up. “What did it do?”
“It seems to act like the love potions that sometimes appear in human fantasy fiction,” said Dream.
“How do we stop it?” Prowl asked. “This is getting out of control.”
“Wait!” said Wheeljack. “I’ve got one more thing from off planet!” He grabbed a sample of blue liquid. “I wonder…”
The non-science bots didn’t quite understand what he was doing as he mixed the two together, but oddly enough, once he did that, they combined, turned purple, and it began to lose color. “Ah ha! This will neutralize it!”
“But how do we use it?” Sideswipe asked. “We can’t count on everyone drinking it.”
“I have an idea,” said Perceptor. “Skyfire, please open the vents for us.”
They boiled the blue liquid until it began to evaporate, and used some lab equipment to force the gas into the vents. The vent fans would do the rest of the work.
It worked. As the gas traveled throughout the Ark and bots vented it in, they began to snap out of it.
Dream, Prowl, and Sideswipe had rushed back to the cameras and saw this happening. Dream sagged in relief. “Thank Primus.”
Prowl grabbed Sideswipe before he could sneak away. “Oh no you don’t! You’re getting brig time for this reckless stunt!”
“Nuts…” Sideswipe muttered.
Prowl looked at Dream. “It will be awkward in the recroom…”
“Yeah… what do you say we stay we go stargazing instead?”
Prowl smiled. “A much better plan.”
Sideswipe would be spending time in the brig the next day, but the other Autobots did still manage to enjoy the party, once the awkwardness was over. And, the science bots decided to lock up any new substances they received from then on.
The End <3