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you're the breeze that puts my mind at ease

Summary:

Lately Toni has been searching for a newfound excitement in her life, even more so after discovering some not so pleasant news from her doctor. Toni didn't know that all she needed was a beach and a volleyball to lead her to everything that she had been searching for.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: chapter 1.

Chapter Text

The hatred for doctors offices was unbearable. The luminous lights, informational posters plastered all over the walls, and the itchy sheet paper that sits on top of the cold leather of the examination table is literal hell. But alas, there sat Toni awaiting for her doctor to return to share with her the latest updates of her health from her annual check up. 

Toni sat on the table growing impatient. She had prepared herself to hear the usual: eat your greens, stay active, and don’t let your job stress you out. Which is impossible when you work in the field of social work but that’s neither here nor there. While fidgeting with her fingernails, Toni swung her feet back and forth with her heels slightly tapping the metal underneath the table, the only form of entertainment that her petite size could offer. 

She found herself gazing at the different posters that decorated the small room. None of which Toni took a liking to. She then found her eyes boring into the tiny square mirror that hung atop the hand washing sink that the doctors used to clean their hands after each visit inside the room. Her eyes went to her plum lips, mentally noting to apply more lip gloss as soon as she left the office, then onto her hair which has been dark brunette for the past couple of years wondering if she would ever go back to braids or spontaneously dying it again, and then finally she stared into her own eyes. Where she saw nothing. Absolutely nothing. Toni was always a vibrant and lively soul, the girl could light up any room with her laugh or the spark in her smile. Lately Toni hasn’t felt that usual fire, she’s felt… Empty. Life was truly passing by when Toni realized that she’s 25 living in LA, and is single, and also truthfully, lonely. Sure she had her own house, granted she shared with her best friend, and an amazing job doing what she loves which is making kids feel understood and appreciated but after a while, that wasn't enough. The feeling was initially brushed off as seasonal depression until she realized that there is no such thing when you live in LA. She wanted to feel again. She wanted some excitement back in her life. 

Her thoughts were interrupted when the door to the right of her swung open and then entered her abnormally chipper physician. 

“Good Morning Ms. Topaz. Great to see you again.” The doctor greeted as he plopped into his rolling chair, quickly rolling himself towards the swivel computer screen where he typed in his access information. 

“Morning. Great to see you too Dr. Frasier.” Toni greeted back with a lazy smile. The man just nodded in response as he brought up Toni’s profile.

 “Any new medications?” He asked nonchalantly. 

Toni shook her head lightly before realizing that his back was turned to her, “No sir. Just the daily topiramate for the migraines.” She assured him. 

“And how have those been? Any progression?” 

“Very much, actually. I rarely get a migraine and whenever I do it’s way less intense as they were before so no complaints.” She assured once more, she truly hated visiting the doctors. Dr. Fraser spun in his chair abruptly to turn towards Toni before immediately getting up to do his physical evaluations. He checked her ears, next was her throat, then onto her blood pressure, ending with listening to the sound of her heartbeat and lungs. He informed her that her heart was beating strong, he found no problems within her lungs but he was a little concerned about her rising blood pressure. Which Toni then informed him that it’s due to the recent heavy workload. It wasn’t the full truth but she would rather not tell her doctor that she saw her eyes filled with nothing but emptiness and that it almost drove her into a severe panic attack. 

Once he put everything back into their respectable places he sat back down on his stool and crossed his hands on his lap taking in a deep breath. Toni’s palms began to sweat as she felt the shift of tension. 

“Well Ms. Topaz, I can assure you that your normal physical is perfectly fine. I still want you to work on lowering that blood pressuring and reducing your stress intake.” He began pointedly. Toni nodded idly, knowing that would be the case. 

“However, I've checked deeper into your records and noticed from a previous appointment, and from the checkups that you’ve done today, some things that stood out to me...” He spoke. 

The words he spoke next put Toni into a daze. She stared at him blankly trying to find strength to breathe. Toni could clearly see the man speaking but his words sounded as if they were drowning underwater. He couldn’t have said what Toni thought he said. That can’t be right. It had to be some kind of mistake.

"Ms. Topaz?" He called out.

"Um, yes. What...What does all of that mean?" Toni tried her best to stay coherent.

“Ms. Topaz it means that the number and quality of your eggs are lower than expected for your age. Meaning that it is preferred to either plan for kids young or freeze your remaining eggs so that as you age they won’t diminish as well.” Dr. Fraser carefully explained as he sadly watched the smaller woman finally come back to. 

“What?” She asked softly. “I’m 25. It’s not like I can get any younger to save me any time.” She mumbled aloud. 

“There are plenty of options Ms. Topaz—“

“Please. Stop calling me that, just please call me Toni.” The small girl interrupted, needing to feel some sense of comfort. The doctor obliged and continued his conversation. 

“Of course, Toni, I am not saying that you cannot have kids. Many mothers with this condition have given birth to beautiful and healthy children. What I am saying to you is that there are precautions that most people take when finding out this information.” 

Toni said nothing. She just took in this information before impulsively hoping off of the table and grabbing her jacket and purse. “Well, thank you for all of the information but I have to get to work now—“

“Toni. Please, let me give you some locations of specialists that can help you.” Dr. Fraser pleaded but it was no use, Toni was halfway out of the door. 

“No thank you. The only location that I need to be at right now is at Harbor Middle assisting the hundreds of kids in need of counseling.” Toni concluded. 

“But Ms. Topaz—“

“Have a great day doc.” Toni said in finality, and with that she made her way to work. Refusing to come to terms with the news that she had just heard. 


“Good Morning Waldo.” Toni sang to the principle of Harbor Middle as she walked through the halls of her workplace with her best façade on full display. A whole new attitude than what she had showed at the doctors office. 

“Ms. Topaz, how are you this morning?” Principle Waldo Weatherbee asked politely. 

Toni ignored the pull in her chest and gave an automated answer, “Great and ready to work.” She diverted. “Who’s waiting for me today?” 

“Charles Clayton Jr., 7th grader, in your office already actually. The teachers note on the desk” The older man assigned and with that walked away. Toni entered her office and physically relieved at the comfort that radiated off of her tiny sanctuary. Her office was decorated with plants, her degrees displayed proudly on the walls alongside artwork some of her students give to her as their appreciation, it was truly her safe place. She sat her belongings down and turned her attention to the boy seated across from her desk. He was about the same skin tone as Toni, maybe a tad darker, curly black hair, and seemingly in great shape for his age. Toni sat behind her desk and offered the boy a smile before she began. 

“Hi Charles. I’m Ms. Topaz, as you may know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in my office before.” Toni pointed out. 

“That’s because I’ve never been here.” The boy spoke up. “I’ve never been in trouble before so…” 

Toni’s eyebrow arched at the statement before she realized the cause of his anxiousness. She smiled softly. “Charles. You aren’t in trouble. One of your teachers probably sent you here because they feel like you’re showing some behavioral signs that are unlike yourself. Does that sound like the case, Charles?” She carefully asked. 

Charles’ body visibly relaxed at the comfort of Toni’s voice and the assurance that he isn’t in trouble. “Yeah. That sounds right.” 

“Do you mind telling me what they might think has changed with you? I could read the teacher's note but I like to hear from my students first before hearing somebody else's perspective.” Toni said once more, offering Charles a smile of encouragement. 

“I've been sleeping a lot in class lately. I guess they’re just worried about that.” He shrugged. 

Toni took mental note of that, not wanting to scare the boy with her pulling out a pen and notepad to physically record this information.  

“Would you like to tell me why that is the case? No pressure, share what you feel is comfortable.” Toni assured Charles once more. 

“I just, I work out a lot more. I want to make varsity this year for football instead of junior varsity but no 7th grader has done it yet. If I want to make it I have to train hard.” Charles said passionately. Toni wondered if this was the doing of a parent. Parents tend to project their adolescent desires onto their children, which never leads to anything good. Toni just nodded in response before speaking her next thought. 

“Are your parents aware of your extensive training?”

“Not parents. It’s just me and my dad. He knows, he works out with me. He doesn’t know about the...falling asleep in class.” Charles admitted nervously, scared Toni will reveal information to his dad. 

“Listen, everything you tell me in this room is strictly between me and you. This is a safe place. I’ll only involve your parents if I see that your grades drop dramatically or have suspicions that something is going on at home. Okay?” 

Charles shook his head understandably, before he could get another word out the passing period bell rang loudly. Toni sighed, feeling bad about their time cutting short. 

“Hey listen, I want you to come back to see me on Monday during your lunch, okay? We’ll be able to talk more then.” Toni suggested softy. 

“Okay, Ms. Topaz. I’ll see you Monday then.” Charles said as he grabbed his belongings and left out of Toni’s office. Toni huffed out a large breath before collapsing back into her seat, remembering all the events from this morning. A tear threatened to fall down her face but she fought it. She had plenty of more kids to check up on throughout the day so she couldn’t allow herself to break when she had to be strong for them. 

Just as she decided to dive head first into her work, her phone lit up with a notification from her roommate and best friend, Josie. 

Josie: Not cooking tonight. Bring home food! 

Toni rolled her eyes, Josie was the best cook between the two and after today Toni for sure knew that a home cooked meal would do wonders for her. 

Toni: Jos, come on! 

Josie: I’m tired T, and plus, I want hot wings tonight so don’t disappoint :) 

Toni: Fine. I’ll bring them when I get home. 

Toni sighed and put away her device deciding that it’s time to do some actual work. The day went by fast. Toni caught up with the kids she needed to talk to, patting herself on the back because of their progression. After an uneventful lunch chatter in the teachers lounge with the rest of the instructors she headed back to her office to finish some more paperwork. Shortly after, the clock struck 3:15 and it was time to make her exit. The brunette packed up her things and headed out the doors alongside the many other students. 

When Toni left the building she noticed Charles talking to a man, who she presumed was his dad, and gave him a small smile. 

“Have a good day Ms. Topaz!” Charles said with a bright smile, Toni was shocked at his change of demeanor since earlier this morning. 

“Well Thank you Charles, same to you!” She said brightly back. “And you as well sir.” Toni politely offered a greeting to the man who looked almost identical to the child. He flashed Toni a charming smile. 

“Thank you. It’s Chuck, Chuck Clayton. Cj is my son, obviously.” He chuckled nervously. 

“I figured, you guys look just alike.” Toni pointed out. “Enjoy the rest of your day.” She said with a smile and continued to her car practically feeling the gaze that followed her from behind. Little interactions with her students like that one made her days much better, even if the parents checked her out every now and then. 


Instead of heading home Toni took the exit that led her to her favorite beach. When she arrived to the beach, she took off her heeled boots, shoving them in her trunk, grabbed her sandals and headed towards the sand. She walked alongside the beach every Friday and Sunday night to clear her mind. Sometimes during the week too if the day was too heavy for her. 

Now with her feet in the warm sand and breeze from the waves beside her, she can finally think and reflect on her day. The heaviness from her doctor's appointment pulled at her chest again. The thought of not having kids frightened Toni. She so desperately wanted to give her future children the life that she never had the chance to experience. The white picket fence with two loving parents and plenty of pets roaming around the yard. That was the dream for her. Toni couldn’t help but feel the sense of loneliness wash over her again once she realized that she had no one to do this with. Yes she was strong and independent but sometimes it’s nice to have someone in your corner. She wanted so many things at once. She wanted excitement, she wanted love, she wanted children, and also, she wanted her damn fire back. 

Her thoughts got the best of her, she walked for what seemed like hours. It wasn't until she felt a volleyball roll over her toes that she became aware of her surroundings. She looked down and saw a flash of pale skin grabbing the ball and by the time she jolted her head up she saw the back of a person with bright red hair running back towards what looks to be a recruitment table with three other women behind it. Toni noticed the sign that stood next to it. It read “Spiking Jewelz”. 

Due to instinct Toni assumed the table was to con beach goers into donating money to a fund that doesn’t exist in the first place so she continued her walk. That was until she heard a voice so magnetic that caused her to stop in her tracks. 

“Is this thing on?” The voice beamed through a megaphone. “Oh, yay!” The voice cheered once more. Toni turned around to see where the voice was coming from and to her surprise it was the redhead who picked the volleyball up from her feet. Toni was stunned at the sight before her. The redhead was average height, which was taller than Toni herself, her hair came down to almost butt length as it laid now in a ponytail with two strands flowing in the front of her face, and her skin, god her skin, looked to be so smooth and soft. 

“So if you’re in the mood for a newfound excitement and friendly competition through beach volleyball, come join The Spiking Jewelz!” The voice roared, gaining a few loose applauds. 

Toni didn’t know how long the redhead had been talking while she was staring at her but from what she heard, she's intrigued. A newfound excitement. That is exactly what Toni needs right about now. So she headed over to the table to see what they had to offer.

That’s how Toni found herself at the recruitment table, palms sweaty with anxiety to not only take on this new adventure but to have a conversation with this beautiful woman. She stepped up to the table and began looking over the many papers scattered across it. 

“So, how does this work?” Toni chuckled nervously as she began to talk to the redhead, noticing that it wasn't a con for money but a signup table for a beach volleyball team. “Do I have to try out or?” 

“Oh, well you fill out this information sheet right here with your name and contact info and then someone will call you after all the applications are in and will give you the next step on becoming a Jewel.” The redhead explained with a genuine smile. Toni smiled to herself at the term becoming a Jewel. Toni nodded her head understanding what was just said to her. The redhead squinted her eyebrows to take in Toni’s appearance before coming to a realization. 

“Shit. You’re the girl who I accidentally hit with my volleyball.” The redhead blurted. “Sorry to just grab and run but I had to get back to the table.” She apologized sweetly. Toni smirked at her and waved her hand. 

“It’s fine, it barely hit me. It was only my feet.” Toni assured as she filled out the information sheet. Once she was finished with one long breath she handed it back to the redhead woman with a smile. The woman took the paper and nodded while reading over Toni’s information. 

“Well...Toni. Thank you for your interest. Be on the lookout for a call from one of the Jewels.” She said kindly. 

“I’ll be looking forward to that…” Toni dragged in hopes to receive the girl's name. 

“Cheryl. Head Jewel.” The woman responded. 

Toni giggled at the introduction. "Head Jewel. So that means this team is basically yours?" Toni questioned.

"Oh no, in simple terms, I'm the just the co-captain. The owner is our Crown Jewel, Lindsey. She does our promotion, supply equipment and things of that sort." Cheryl explained.

Toni nodded her head following along, still in shock about the technicalities of volleyball but nonetheless offered one last smile before going on her way. “Well, Cheryl, Head Jewel. I’ll be looking forward to that call. Have a good night.” 

And with that Toni turned her back to head towards the parking lot, deciding it was time to stop and get dinner then head home. Once again, she felt a gaze stare at her from behind but this time she turned her head slightly to meet the eyes that were on her. When she did, Cheryl quickly ducked her head in embarrassment of being caught. Toni turned her head back around with a shy giggle.

"Twice in one day, good job Topaz." She mumbled softly to herself.


After what seemed like two hours of waiting in line to receive her food order, Toni brought herself through the doors of her shared home with her and her best friends dinner in tow. 

“Toni, Toni, Toni!” Josie sang as she turned the corner to greet her best friend. She was about Toni’s height, maybe taller, with a darker skin complexion than Toni, her tight curly hair laid in a bun atop of her head. 

“How many times do I have to tell you that’s corny as hell.” Toni rolled her eyes as she headed to the kitchen. Josie followed behind her, taking the bag of food from her hands. 

“How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t care. Now come on, let’s eat!” Josie responded grabbing the styrofoam container assuming it was her food. “So my dad called today. He’s enjoying his retirement, he wants to see me soon.” She said biting into a wing. Josie's dad is a retired musician, he used to perform weekly at a speakeasy in a small town across the country and finally retired after singing for almost his entire life. 

“Good for him! I’m going to miss him sneaking us into his shows for free though, and watching you sneak and use the stage.” Toni teased, finally now eating her food. She hummed in appreciation after her first bite. “God, why are hot wings so unhealthy but so good?”

“I usually know all the answers, but an answer to this? I do not know T.” Josie said with a mouthful of food before her eyes snapped open. She covered her mouth with her hand before she spoke. “Oh! How did your appointment go today?” 

There it was again. That tinge of sadness on Toni’s heart. Honestly after her walk at the beach she had forgotten about the day that she had, the beach always did that for her. Not wanting to dive into that pool of emotion again she answered very vaguely. 

“You know the usual, stop letting work stress me out. I told him the same thing as last time. I literally work with kids under the age of 15, there is no such thing as no stress.” Toni successfully changed the subject receiving heavy laughter from her roommate. 

“I still don’t know how you do it. I’d be pulling my hair out by now.” Josie admitted with a chuckle, before Toni had a chance to respond her phone rang. It was an unknown number which usually she’d ignore but this time she felt the urge to answer, so after she cleaned her hands she excused herself from the kitchen and headed down the hallway towards her room. 

“Topaz.” Toni answered the phone. 

“I would ask if I was speaking with Toni but by your greeting I can tell that I am.” The soft yet cocky voice responded through the phone. Toni knew the voice to be the Head Jewel herself that she met earlier at the beach. She smiled despite herself. 

“That you are.” Toni rasped. “And who might I be speaking to?” She asked, deciding to play clueless. 

“Cheryl Blossom, Head Jewel of the Spiking Jewelz. You signed up earlier and as promised, I wanted to call you to go into further detail of your involvement as a Jewel.” Cheryl informed Toni. 

“I’m all ears. So, how does this work?” The small girl questioned as she laid her back down on her bed. Her room was much similar to her office, it was covered in plants for calming energy, fairy lights stretched across of her simple wood headboard, on her mirror hung pictures of her from her younger years and some recent ones, her bed decorated with many fluffy pillows that she has collected over time. It was comfortable. 

“Well, first things first, you need to attend our conditioning practice. The practice is to see if you can handle everything that comes with beach volleyball, like the drills, sand, and being in the heat for many hours at a time. Conditioning is Friday at 4:30pm.” The redhead explained as if she was reading off of a script. 

“Okay, sounds fair. So is there an actual beach volleyball league or do you just put your bodies through hell for fun?” Toni teased lightly, earning a soft chuckle from the latter. 

“No Toni, there is an actual league. We start off as local competitions and then onto regionals, then sectionals and if we’re good enough, which we are, we’re onto nationals.” Cheryl explained for Toni who was stunned that beach volleyball is taken so seriously. 

“Wow. I never knew that people took this seriously. No offense, of course.” Toni carefully said receiving another soft chuckle from the girl on the phone.

“Yes, well it is a great activity that a few take much pride in. So, can I add your name to the list of people willing to come to our first conditioning?” 

Toni took a second to think about this. One on hand, she was nervous. She hasn’t played volleyball a day in her life, she would more than likely not know anyone else on the team and she was scared that maybe one of her students would see her in tight spandex on the beach and see her in a completely different light. On the other hand, this is something new, fresh and exciting. Exactly what she has been looking for. 

“Toni? Are you still there?” The voice over the phone asked, snapping Toni out of her thoughts. 

Fuck it. Why not. 

“Yes I’m still here, sorry. Of course, sign me up.” Toni said excitedly. 

“Great! Eventually a group chat will be made with all of the other players to keep everyone updated on things that are going on but that isn’t until we see who stays or goes. Until then, I’ll see you on Friday for our first conditioning practice.” Cheryl said enthusiastically. 

“Sounds good to me. See you Friday.” Toni concluded. 

After they both said their awkward goodbyes and hung up the phone. Toni blew out a long breath definitely not ignoring the small sparks that she currently feels in her stomach. Maybe her fire didn't leave her. Maybe it just needed to be brought out again.

Hopefully it will.