AN: Trigger warnings to things are present. Don’t like don’t read.
I don’t own Rizzoli & Isles. I just borrow them and some dialogue at times.
Maura Isles crouched near a dead body that had been called in anonymously and she had been specifically requested by FBI Special Agent Dean to examine the victim. She was curious why he had requested her considering they didn’t exactly get along. He was still angry at her for Jane.
The man had a crush on Boston Detective Jane Rizzoli since he had met her last year, but Jane wasn’t into him. Jane had been into Maura from the moment they met, and Maura had been not only attracted to Jane but also intrigued by the woman. She had noticed the difference right away, she was a Doctor after all, and medical anomalies were exciting to her.
It had taken Jane three months before she had felt comfortable enough with Maura to tell her about the fact that she had been born with male genitalia even though her entire body was female elsewhere.
Maura had started researching everything on the topic, a rare condition that affected 1-2 in 100 people. However, Jane’s case was slightly rarer in that category. She didn’t exactly fit into the four categories that were being analyzed in the medical world, but she wasn’t alone. There were others like her it was just rarer than the four named categories.
Of course, only Jane’s closest circle knew of her differences and Maura had felt honored to be included in it. It had brought them closer, and she had been adamant about keeping it that way. She would do anything for Jane, even attempting to lie. Which was not easy for her since she broke out in hives when she did lie, but she had learned how to lie without actually lying and it was working for her so far.
At least when it came to Jane.
Anyone else and the hives would rush up her neck and the itching would start so suddenly that she nearly had to run from whatever room she was in to try to get it to calm down. Jane found it entertaining while she found it annoying.
Agent Dean stood beside her, “What do you have Doc?”
She frowned as she gently prodded the wound on the victim’s torso, “Gunshot wound to the chest, at least a forty-five caliber. There’s GSR around the wound, and the stippling pattern shows he was shot no more than three to five feet away.”
Agent Dean frowned as he shook his head, “This is Charles Wilson. Witness in the Lucchese multiple murder trial.”
She frowned up at Agent Dean, “Then why am I here and not your own?”
He frowned as he crouched beside her and spoke quietly, “I need an outside source.”
She eyed him for a moment, “In other words,” She lowered her voice, “You don’t trust your own people.”
He nodded as he stood, “Something like that.”
She felt uncomfortable, not having Jane in the loop, “What about-“
He cut her off, shaking his head, “Need to know and the less the better. You’ll have to sign a nondisclosure.”
She sighed heavily, “Did you plan this before you even called me?”
He nodded and actually looked apologetic, “You’re good at what you do Doctor Isles. The best from what I’ve seen and heard. There is no one else I’d rather have working this right now.”
She stood and pulled her gloves off, “That and this will keep me away from Jane for the time being.”
He shrugged a dark look entering his eyes, “That’s one way to look at it.”
She rolled her eyes, a trait she was positive she had picked up from Jane Rizzoli, “Right. I’ll do the autopsy back in my morgue. Give me a few hours.”
Agent Dean nodded, “Well I’m with you until its done.”
She bit her lip to stifle the groan of frustration. Not only did she already have two bodies waiting for autopsy, one of Jane and Frost’s cases, but now she had a dead FBI witness that was going to take priority over them, and on top of that she wouldn’t be able to tell Jane why she had to put their case on the back burner. Plus, she was going to have Agent Dean hovering for most of the day too.
This day was just going to get better and better. She wasn’t sure how she was going to explain to her fiancé that Agent Dean was commandeering her for the day, or longer.
Maura sat in the most uncomfortable chair in the small windowless office at the FBI headquarters in Washington DC. The scared three-year-old child in her lap was gripping a photo in his little hand so tightly it was leaving it more crinkled than it was to begin with. His way of dealing with his anxiety was to hold one of the three photos of his mother’s that he had. His face was buried in Maura’s shoulder as she rocked him gently, whispering softly to him.
“It won’t be long now sweetie.”
The boy turned his hazel eyes up to her matching ones, “Then we can see Mama?”
Maura smiled at her son, his shaggy black hair dropping into his eyes slightly, looking every bit like his other mother as she nodded, “I promise honey.”
The boy clutched the photo to his chest tightly, the last photo that she had taken with her fiancé before her life had been ripped out from under her. The Christmas tree in the background was lit beautifully and they were smiling happily at the camera as her fiancé held her from behind. She could still remember the moment as if it were yesterday and not four years ago.
The door opened and Special Agent Gabriel Dean entered the room, “She never stopped looking for you.” He sat across the small table from her.
She glared at him, “She’ll tear you apart when she finds out you did this.”
He sighed, the corners of his mouth drooping in sadness, “If I had known you were pregnant, I never would have put the plan in motion.”
She scoffed and held her son tighter, “I’ll never forgive you for ripping my family apart Gabriel. You’ll have to ask her when we get there.”
He shook his head, “Now that Lucchese is dead I have no need to be there. I have the plane tickets,” he slid them across the table to her, “And she already has everything else you left behind.”
She reached a handout to the plane tickets but hesitated, “How is she?”
He shrugged, “When all this started, I cut all ties. I must go but this agent will walk you out. You’ve done good Doctor.” He stood and turned to the door.
“I’m Doctor Isles again?” She asked as she took the tickets in her hand.
He glanced back at her, “No. Your identity has been given back to you with a small change, but I figured you wouldn’t mind. His is all set too. Have a good day Doctor Rizzoli.” He left swiftly.
Her gasp was quiet as the agent handed her a passport. Her photo next to the name Maura Rizzoli stared back at her and she felt her heart clench in pain. She stood, lifting her son into her arms as she took the second passport from the agent, a picture of her son next to the name Luca Rizzoli.
She held back her tears as she walked through the crowded airport and found the gate to her flight. She only had one small duffel bag and it mostly consisted of things for her son. Once on the plane she smiled as he fell asleep against her quickly and she held the photo in front of her. She ran a finger across her fiancé’s face and wondered if anyone had deeply missed her in the last four years.
It wasn’t as if she had meant for everything to happen the way it did. She hadn’t known at the time that she was the daughter of Lucchese’s nemesis, Irish Mob boss Paddy Doyle. It was only during the course of Dean’s investigation did they figure it out, her DNA being on file with the department being a pesky side effect that she had never thought about. Her biological brother had been at the scene of the crime and his DNA had matched hers and suddenly Dean was worried that she would either be a target or would be convinced to turn against them.
Even the thought of Dean alone was enough to set off her rage, something she had never struggled with before. The man knew how to push her buttons more than anyone now. Although over the years she had learned to push his just as much and their fights had become legendary within the FBI, reaching from coast to coast apparently.
When the bright lights of Boston lit up out the small window of the plane her nerves hit violently. Her stomach rolled as the plane began to descend and the boy beside her finally stirred awake. His face smiled widely up at her, his hazel eyes shimmering with happiness. She never thought of herself as a mother, especially not with the way she had been raised by Constance and Arthur Isles.
They had been distant and cold most of her life, sending her to boarding schools overseas. She was happy that she had the education that she did and that she had made a name for herself out of her adopted parents shadows, but when she met the Rizzoli’s her feelings had changed.
The Rizzoli’s were close, always butting into each other’s lives and setting each other up on dates. Angela Rizzoli, the matriarch, was the mother that she had always wanted. Loving, caring and slightly overbearing but it was a nice change from Constance. Angela was constantly wanting Jane to settle down and get married and give her grandchildren, no matter how it had to happen.
Frankie Rizzoli was the brother that she had never thought she had wanted. She was an only child but seeing the bond that Jane had with her brother was something to cherish. They were close and had been taking care of their mother the best they could when their father had decided to walk away from their mother and family. They had been devastated but they had rallied around their mother. He was a good cop and a fantastic friend to her since the moment they had met.
He had been excited by the prospect of her being his new sister, making it more official than what he already felt. He was protective, not overly so like Jane, but he was the next in line when Jane couldn’t be there. He was her confidant at times when she had been hesitant to talk to Jane.
Tommy Rizzoli was the youngest sibling and until Jane had gotten angry enough at the man, he had flirted with her as much as possible. He was constantly asking her out to dinner and out for drinks, which always set Jane off in the early stages of their friendship. He had been in prison for a few years, but he was a caring and decent man, if a little lacking in smarts occasionally but he was still funny and charming.
At the time she had been so consumed by her feelings for Jane that she had only thought he was being nice. She would always politely decline but when it didn’t seem like Jane was ever going to be more than a friend, she had accepted his invite to drinks. Jane had stared at her for a few minutes before the anger had surged forward and practically demanded that she not go out with her brother.
She hadn’t denied Jane anything and had agreed on the condition that she and Jane go to dinner together instead. She had caught the smirk on both Tommy and Frankie’s faces and in that moment, she knew that they had planned it this way. Later she had told them how grateful she had been for that night and what they had pulled on Jane. It pushed them in the right direction and into their first real date.
She held her son’s hand tightly as they made their way towards baggage claim, the airport being mostly empty at this time of night. It was just after eleven and she knew they would have to find a hotel for the night and look for an apartment first thing in the morning.
All her money, the townhouse, her car, everything she had in Boston had been left to Jane when Agent Dean had forced her into witness protection. She refused until certain condition was met and that was one of them. Jane owned her heart so she would get everything. She had been flown out the very next day since Agent Dean knew that Jane Rizzoli would not stop looking for her fiancé.
After she received her new identity she had worked in the OMI, Office of the Medical Examiner, lab in Albuquerque, New Mexico. She didn’t mind working in the morgue, she was more at home there than anywhere else, but it had felt empty. She knew Jane wouldn’t be walking into the room to ask for the results that could easily be sent to her through a lab tech. Jane personally liked to get the results, telling her in one of their quiet moments that she just needed to see her throughout the day.
She wrapped the strap of the duffel bag over her shoulder as she walked with her son out of the airport, finding the taxi lane nearly empty. She took the only cab there and gave the name of the hotel. Her son bounced in his seat next to her as the cab drove through the city. The bright lights glowed in the darkness as the clouds blocked the moon, the smell of rain thick in the air as she stepped out of the cab.
It had been too long since she had had a good night sleep and she knew until she was reunited with Jane that she wasn’t going to get any sleep. She was so close to the woman now and it only made her nerves worse. Her hands shook as she checked into the hotel and to calm herself a little she carried her son into the elevator.
He had been awfully quiet since they had exited the plane and she could see the nerves that were slowly beginning in his eyes. He held the photo tightly in his hand, his little mind trying to remain calm but understand everything at the same time. She had explained some of it before they had even walked into the FBI office to speak with Agent Dean, but she knew he wasn’t going to be able to understand the bigger parts.
She had made sure to tell him over the years that his mama loved him more than anything. She made sure to tell him that it was her fault that they weren’t with his mama yet, guilt about taking him from Jane was still heavy after all this time. She had only told Jane that she was pregnant three days before she disappeared and in those three days Jane had been a bundle of excited nerves that barely let her out of her sight.
Then when she had disappeared, she knew Jane was going to lose it. Agent Dean hadn’t told her anything about Jane because he knew as well as he did that she would return to Jane if the woman was in bad shape. Agent Dean only cared about his case and having her away from Jane was a bonus for him. He didn’t know at the time about Jane’s difference, he wasn’t a friend or even a colleague. It was none of his business.
At least in her opinion it was none of his business but two months later she knew that he must have met with Jane because he came to her and outright asked her if she was pregnant. She didn’t lie but she also didn’t give away any information to him about Jane either. It wasn’t until years later that he finally told her that Jane had told him about her difference, which was why he asked her about it.
She tucked her son into the large bed in the hotel room before moving towards the window. Looking out over the city of Boston she couldn’t help the worry that claimed her mind. How could she possibly return to her old life after being gone for years? How was she supposed to make up all the time missed? Would Jane even want her back after all this time? Had she moved on and found someone else to be happy with?
She knew she was being irrational but at the same time it was reasonable to think that Jane hadn’t just stopped living. She actually wanted Jane to be happy, even if that meant Jane being happy without her. It was painful, in the most heart wrenching way but it was still the truth. She hated to think of Jane being miserable, even though she was without Jane, and she hated to think about what Jane went through when she just disappeared.
She watched the sunrise through the large windows in the hotel room while her mind floated through possibilities. She was curious how everyone was doing and wondered if everyone were still around or if her old job would be available again once she had a chance to talk with the Governor. The man was the only person in the state that knew what had happened to her so he could fill her replacement quickly, which in hindsight may have looked strange on the outside of things.
She showered quickly, wanting to be done before Luca woke for the day. She dressed in jeans, a white muscle shirt, and a button-down dark red blouse before pulling her only pair of boots on. She didn’t have the designer outfits she had before she left and her income hadn’t been anywhere compared to what she was making before leaving Boston either, but it was nice to dress comfortably in regular clothes. She didn’t stick out in these clothes and over the years she had found that she preferred not sticking out.
She smiled as Luca brushed his teeth on his own, but a pang of guilt settled deep in her chest because Jane had missed all his firsts. She shoved it aside as she helped him dress and headed out of the hotel room with their duffel bag over her shoulder and Luca clutching at her hand. She figured they could find another hotel if she couldn’t find an apartment while they were out.
Moving often had been ingrained in her the past few years and the anger at Agent Dean resurfaced. She focused on Luca’s excitement as they walked down the street. It was the first time he had been in a large city like Boston, the first time he had been outside of Albuquerque truthfully. He pointed out the large buildings and the different landmarks as they passed by them and she couldn’t help but let his excitement infect her own mind, not realizing how much she had missed the city.
She hadn’t even realized where they were when noon came around and she stopped dead in the middle of the sidewalk as she stared at the BPD building ahead of them, two blocks down. It was the place she had found a family, a home that she wouldn’t be sent away from. She shook her head and took Luca’s hand with a smile.
“Mommy I’m hungry.” The boy leaned against her leg, some of his excitement waning after the long morning out.
She chuckled, “Okay sweetie. I know just the place.”
She led them two blocks over and entered the Dirty Robber with a warm smile. The place was darkly lit and still smelled the same, old beer and stale peanuts. She led them to a booth in the back corner and sat the duffel bag in the booth beside her as Luca climbed into the seat across from her, sitting on his knees.
She was so focused on her son that she didn’t notice the waitress watching them in shock until a shout echoed throughout the bar, “Maura!?”
Her head snapped around and she stared at Angela Rizzoli, who stood behind the bar with wide dark tear filled eyes.