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This is how you get the girl

Chapter 6: Spy

Summary:

Eremika spy’s on Aruani. That’s it. That’s the plot.

Notes:

*evil laughter*

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

 

Eren takes a deep breath and raises a hand to knock on the door across the hallway. He was the last, the absolute LAST person he would ever ask for romantic advice, and yet here he was. Ok maybe not the last, but if he had learnt anything from his family it was the fact that they were the  W O R S T at romance. 

 

Dad was stuck in the eighties, Ma’ would tease him tremendously and Zeke? He would sigh quote love poetry while strumming a guitar to a song about soulmates something or other. 

 

He wasn’t even exactly sure how he felt about Mikasa, he wasn’t even sure why, but for some reason his brain had short circuited and led him to the doorpost of his brothers bedroom, pasted with said poetry and a monkey sticker, as music flows from neith it’s frame. 

 

He knocks. 

 

There is a pause in music followed by a ‘come in’ and eren contemplates running away from everything right in that moment. But because he is completely stupid he swings open the door and into the realm of his brother, which is forever tinged with the musty aroma of a barn animal- yet somehow in a good way. 

 

“What’s going little bro?” 

 

Eren bites his lip. There truly is no good way to say this. 

 

“I-“ 

 

“Let me guess you have a little crush on her.” 

 

“How-“ 

 

“It’s a feeling.” Zeke strikes a chord leaving a pang in his heart. “So you wanna know the good news or the bad news?” 

 

Good news ?” 

 

“She likes you too.” 

 

“You really think so?”

 

“The bad news is I’m a whole ass liar, you're a simp, Eren.” 

 

He rolls his eyes at Zeke and leans against the wall. 

 

“So you really think she doesn’t like me.” 

 

“Never said that.” 

 

“But-“ 

 

“Here’s some advice, you like her, yes?” Zeke interrupts and Eren nods quietly “well then don’t mess it up because you wanna make out with her, she’s a lovely girl eren, don’t go breaking her heart.” 

 

Zeke shakes his head “anyways I have a song to write, go finish your homework lazy butt.” 

 

Monkey face .” 

 

He walks out of the room and resolves to take some of his brother's more sensible advice and just not kiss her. 

 

Great, easy, simple. Done. 

 

No kissing. 

 

Memories of last night resurface in his brain and he throws a punch midair in frustration leaving his messily knotted tie to loose and fall to the floor. 

 

Perhaps this was going to be harder than he thought. 

 

-------



“So…” Armin taps a marker against the white board. “Any ideas for this dance?” 

 

“How about, it's ridiculous that the school expects us to plan everything.” Eren says snapping his fingers 

 

“True,  but I'm pretty sure that's not a theme.” Mikasa shrugs 

 

“Aww come on ‘kasa, it's pretty cute,” Eren stands up grabbing a fistfull of paperwork and lathering over himself “You like my dress? It's sponsored by poor management by our school teachers”

 

“You look as pretty as a bin chicken.” She grins and eren laughs 

 

“Ooh nice burn, you're really doing well at this whole relaxing thing.” 

 

“I learned from the best didnt i?” she turns back to Armin. “How about a time period... like the seventies-” 

 

“EIGHTIES!” Eren exclaims “I FINALLY HAVE AN EXCUSE TO STEAL STUFF FROM MY DAD'S WARDROBE! AND CLAIM MY VICTORY AS WARDROBE AVATAR!” 

 

“You’ve stolen stuff from everyone in your family? Even your mother?” 

 

“Grade two, dress up day, Eren insisted on wearing Carla's wedding dress so he could be a weird Godzilla-zombie mashup ” Armin chimes in 

 

Mikasa snorts “you weirdo.” 

 

“I’ll have you know I won first place for creativity.” 

 

“I’m pretty sure everyone was terrified of you.” Armin chuckles 

 

“Oh well, that was the idea.” He steals the marker out of armins hand and scrawls ‘eighties’ across it. “Well I think that just about covers all of today’s work.” 

 

Mikasa gestured to the pile of papers across from them “We are not done- and we’ll be here tomorrow too, so don’t you even think about trying to skip, this is your part of the deal.” 

 

Armin smiles sheepishly “about that- I actually have plans for tomorrow do you mind if I skip? I can do some extra paperwork today-“ 

 

“Oh no you're  fine, Armin, you are  my favourite after all.” She whacks Eren on the head when he tries to stand up. “Eren however needs to learn to participate in captain duties.” 

 

“Kasa…” he whines 

 

“We have a deal, remember, Mr. Fun.” 

 

Eren groans and Armin collects his papers. 

 

“Well don't stay too late.” 

 

“Wouldn't dream of it.” eren says with a wink

 

“I think at this rate you'll be sleeping in here.” Mikasa says, rolling her eyes as she pushes papers towards him. “Sign all of these- Bye armin!” 

 

He gives her a slight nod and leaves the boardroom walking down the corridor. 



Mikasa counts thirty paces and eren darts towards the white board erasing their brainstorm from today. 



“He should be gone by now.” 

 

Eren flips the whiteboard over revealing the otherside scribbled in illegible handwriting with magnets and string strung over it pinning together photos printed out text messages and search history of their trios treasurer. 

 

“What the hell- where is he going?” Eren sighs, placing his hands on his hips with a confused glance. 

 

Mikasa walks towards him, red marker in hand. She squeaks another time captured from her phone and adds a question mark to it.  

 

“Annie too, she's not answering any of my texts.” 

 

“And that's unusual?” 

 

“Not really but she'd at least have the courtesy of leaving me on read, or being online.” 

 

Eren furrows his brow in frustration.  “They're dating! I know it! You don't spend that much time with a stranger disappearing for hours on end!” 

 

“I mean…” 

 

“Ok but we’re different- At least we're doing our work! I don't think I can handle forging Armins signature anymore!” 

 

Mikasa raises an eyebrow at him and he places a hand on his chest in defence. 

 

“I am completely innocent.” 

 

“Sure you are eren.” 

 

“Are you suggesting that I can't get tired of forging signatures all day?” 

 

“I saw you forge your mothers to get out of class today and bother me during my study period.” 

 

“In my defence math is boring.” 

 

She brushes him off and goes back to staring intensely at the board. 

 

“So, we think they're dating-”

 

“Wrong all the evidence clearly means they are.” 

 

“What evidence? All we have is a bunch of dates and times Armin has left and some random text messages, that doesn't mean squat all!” 

 

“We have instinct.” 

 

“Instinct?”  

 

“And I may have looked at his search history and saw him booking tickets to a movie this afternoon-“ 

 

“You what ?” She pokes him with a paperclip “Eren did you snoop through his stuff?” 

 

“I prefer the term ‘glancing briefly’.” He smirks “and he was asking me how to flirt in the theatre, I had the right to see what he was scheming.” 

 

Mikasa drums her fingers on the desk impatiently. She bites her lip. “Do you think he’s really asked her out?” 

 

“I swear on my honour.” 

 

“That's not a lot of honour.” 

 

“Hey, my track record of truth telling is a clean slate.” 

 

“Why because you’ve never told the truth?” She teases 

 

Kasa .” He groans “Trust me, I know when someone’s in love.” 

 

“Oh do you now?” She grabs her  blazer slipping it over her uniform “Do you wish to go test that theory?” 

 

“Mikasa, how unorthodox,” he gasps, clasping a hand over his mouth. “Are you suggesting that we spy on them?” 

 

“Why I’d never!” She threw his coat to him “I prefer the term, glancing briefly .” 

 

Eren laughs as she ushers him out the door.

 

—-

 

Eren regrets it. He regrets it all.

 

In a whirlwind of distractions and debates as they rushed around the city on busses and trams like little toddlers, caught breathless under her gaze (curse, CURSE hormones) somehow he managed to get them here. 

 

Technically speaking it was her fault, Mikasa was the one taking advantage of his chivalrous acts in loving kindness. She was the one who pointed over to the very shop they were now sitting in. And now, most unfortunately the circumstances of the intimate space, let their knees graze together from under the table. 

 

He had done this plenty of times before, ( see here: none ) he didn’t really understand why it was driving him mad.

 

In bitterness he swears under his breath to never come here again. 

 

“What was that eren?” Mikasa smiles unfazed by the charming features of their vicinity as she peers over her menu. 

 

“Nothing.” He fans it off “what do you want? I’ll pay!” 

 

Titans eren, we know your whipped but your also broke as hell how the hell-

 

“That’s ok, you're always buying me stuff, I’ll shout this time.” 

 

“Kasa…” 

 

“No eren, I chose where I pay- same goes for the movies, that was my idea.” 

 

“But I-“ 

 

“Nonsense, I can be chivalrous too.” 

 

He pouts in a sulking matter, but his wallet cheers that its thinly stretched allowance may be spared another day. 

 

“So,” Mikasa draws, spinning her straw into ice water. “What do you want to eat?” 

 

“I'll just get ice cream i guess?” he shuffles his feet awkwardly, searching for conversation “what about you?” 

 

“I think I’ll get a cone too.” She presses her lips into a sweet smile and he HAS to stop looking at her like that. 



“So eighties Huh?” 

 

“What?” 

 

“Your dad, he likes the eighties?” She prompts him, trying to release the awkward tension in the air. 

 

His eyes sparkle with greed, and he immediately takes the opportunity to make a fool of himself- to make her laugh of course, eren may have been an idiot but he certainly wasn’t going to look stupid on purpose. 

 

“Oh yeah, he’s all over that stuff, he’s got it all, the leather, the ugly pants, the bright colours- all of it waiting to be preyed upon by the wardrobe avatar!” 

 

Mikasa giggles and he feels his centre of gravity shift, his heart takes flight in its spastic fluttering and with no restraint of the laws of physics, has bargained to occupy his skull, of which’s brain has disappeared, long gone with all of his sound logic and common sense of reason. 

 

It’s ironic how mere days ago he would have scowled at his mothers teasing, and yet now, here he is, getting lost in her grey eyes. 

 

A waitress clears her throat taking out a notepad. 

 

“Excuse me, would you like to order anything?” 

 

Eren glances up at the server, chin length silver hair framed by circular glasses, making her look strangely owlish like, but awfully familiar…

 

“Rico...?” 

 

“Rico!” Mikasa exclaims interrupting him. 

 

The waitress blinks twice and seems to snap out of her customer service daze. 

 

“Oh, hello Mikasa, ” she turns to him with a glaring look  “And Eren .” 

 

He gulps and Mikasa raises an eyebrow, “You know Rico?” 

 

“Oh, don't I know this brat.” She sighs “Little bastard would pretend he was bird watching every time I came to Dr Yeagers clinic.” 

 

“I was like five!” 

 

“Last time I recall you were fifteen with that blonde jock ‘pretending’ to shoot me with nerf guns.” 

 

“Ah.” Eren smiles sheepishly “Yeah that was an accident.” 

 

Mikasa coughs awkwardly. “Well how's the law degree going? I haven't seen you at Hanges as of late.” 

 

“And this would be the cause,” She gestures at the cafe “They raised dorm fees on us, and its not like my parents are awfully rich enough to subsidise me.” 

 

“That doesn't seem fair!” Eren says 

 

“Life's two teenage boys with a nerf gun, and I'm an owl-like girl.” Rico deadpans 

 

Sorry .” 

 

“I'm sure you are.” she turns to Mikasa “What would you like to order?” 

 

“I’ll have a strawberry sundae and he can have peppermint.” 

 

Rico scribbles it down and morphs back into her facade. 

 

“Your order should be with you in a moment.” 

 

——

 

Mikasa surveys her surroundings, taking a sudden interest in the way the plastic olive green vines were wrapped around the beams crossing the establishment's high ceiling. It wasn't that interesting to her but anything to drown out the awkward moment drifting between them, dragged out by Eren drumming his fingers on the edge of the table. Their knees touch underneath the table and Mikasa begins to regret choosing this particular place as their hideout for spying on armin. 

 

Curse eren for being so ridiculously nice. 

 

“So strawberry huh?” 

 

“What ?” 

 

“I thought you liked vanilla.” 

 

“I did.” She stretches out her hands “but sometimes change is a good thing.” 

 

“I suppose.” He leans back “so are you still free for next Sunday because i'd like-“ 

 

She ignores his remark, eyes widening as they hook onto the pair of blondes crossing the street. Somewhere in the middle of probably some dramatic monologue inciting the team they’d be playing on the weekend, she taps his shoulder pointing out the window. He follows her finger to the crossing where Armin stands animatedly chatting to Annie. Mikasa swears she can see the ghost of a smile form upon her lips in return. 



“Wow, is that-” 

 

“Look!” Mikasa squeals, pointing out the window “It’s them!” 

 

“Really!” He glances out the window following her pointer finger to where they stood. 

 

Armin, talking animatedly to her, reaches into a pocket and produces a small wrapped gift, Annie's eyes widen and she slowly takes her hands out of her tartan culottes pockets as he hands it to her, she makes a small comment as she rips it and armin brushes it off with a laugh. She produces the object from the wrapping paper and she smiles. 

 

“Go armin ?” Eren says turning back to Mikasa with a raised eyebrow 

 

“Did he give her a baby duck key chain?” 

 

“Maybe it’s an inside joke?” 

 

“Inside joke or not, I’d be charmed.” She says with conviction

 

“Oh really?” Eren says leaning into her as she continues spying them from the window “well then you’d be glad to know that I have a dozen or so of those key chains in my bag.” 

 

“Why are you trying to be so charming,” Mikasa says, lifting an eyebrow “did you magically fall in love with me?” 

 

“No it’s just funny seeing your pointed reactions at all of it.” He shrugs condescendingly 

 

“Wow, such a gentleman.” 

 

“Did you think I was trying to court you?” 

 

“No i-“ 

 

“Your ice cream?” Another, not Rico waitress deadpans, bowls in hand. 

 

“Oh can we get these-“ 

 

“Thank you!” Eren interrupts him by taking the dishes from the waitress and placing them in front of them. 

 

“But Armin-“ 

 

“We should space ourselves away from them, that is the first rule of spying.” He cracks, grinning sheepishly. 

 

Mikasa rolls her eyes and Eren passes her a spoon, signaling for her to eat. 



——-



Curse her tiredness. 

 

As an academic prodigy, light of the school and general genius, Mikasa ought to have intelligence, or at least give herself the courtesy to think before acting. She supposed it’s Erens fault.The mental damage she was receiving having to babysit him everyday was getting to her, and of course she had decided it was going to be a great idea sitting with him. Alone. Together. In a dark theater, all because she was invested in the crappy romance between a couple of her acquainted friends. 

 

Speaking of which. 

 

Mikasa scans the room, searching for the pair. It was a terrible idea really, it had been easy to sneak in without being noticed by them, but she hadn't taken into account they'd have to find them- to spy of course. 

 

The movie screen lights up, beginning to play a series of ads. She continues arching her neck around to spot them, but her eyes fail her, and she turns to Eren beside her. Mikasa elbows him in the side, and he drops an array of packaged snacks earning him death glares from surrounding moviegoers. As he bends over to pick them up Mikasa lowers her voice to a whisper. 

 

“Sorry, it’s too dark in here” She apologises “can you see them?” 

 

“Nah, I have horrible eyesight, sorry.” 

 

She bites her lip in concern. 

 

Spying seemed like a good idea at the time, but now, as the dark theatre closed around her, Mikasa begins to feel an itch of anxiety. She searches again and again, eyes panning across the theatre, begging for Armin to show himself. To make some jokes, some references. Trailers begin to play and she withholds her eyes from the blazing screens filled with action and romance. Her mind begins to swirl as sweat trickles down her forehead. Her skin grows ice cold. 

 

She had always been afraid of the dark, it was cool, and empty and seemed to hold no love. And where no love, monsters reigned, protruding from the depths of her closet and neith her bed, grabbing her by the ankles and dragging her to hell or some other domain that burned with wrath for her. Perhaps she was the only high schooler in the world to be afraid of such a thing, but nevertheless, the thought of the dark twisted her stomach to the point of which she still kept a small starlight in her room to glow at night. 



Mikasa's stomach lurches as it encompasses the theatre, and her skin seems to crawl with the whispers of the monsters echoing through her ears. She clenches her mouth to bite back any screech. Her breaths become short and laboured as she tries to search for a light to grasp onto, that isn’t the abyss of the darkened screen. 

 

The room seems to sway around her and there is a growing queasiness in her stomach,  she-  



A warm hand grasps hers, dragging her out of the whirlpool of emotions. Mikasa turns to face Eren , he gives her a half smile, and squeezes her hand before gesturing to turn to the screen. 

 

Her eyes widen and she nods in compliance. Resting her head upon his shoulder in return. 

 

——

 

Eren exhales with relief as he feels her pulse steady, no longer beating through her throat.



Panic attacks were something he was familiar with, at the clinic he would see them all the time, people were afraid of lots of things, needles and jabs, swallowing medicine, swabs and even sometimes doctors. And he had seen his Dad consol each of his patients with patience, carefully breaking down their anxieties with weightless effort. His dad would always lecture him about how to stop a panic attack, how to help people. How he should help people. And yet it never actually occurred to him that he might need to use it. And even more so on Mikasa, who nearly always seemed to keep her cool. 

 

He squeezes her hand a little tighter reassuring her that he was there she nods, squeezing back and turning to the screen. 

 

Erens has seen the movie before, (his mother insists on movie nights on a Tuesday), he has a basic understanding of the plot, and so, hoping to easy her anxiety a little more, considering the theatre staff guarding the door like ravenous wolves, decides to find Armin. 

 

His eyes, of course, aren't perfect, and he hasn’t eaten enough carrots in his life to channel his inner rabbit, so he squints leaning forward, and scans each row with scrutiny, searching for the silhouette of two teenagers, hopefully with their tongues down each other's throat (blackmail material). 



Three rows from the front he spots them, sunk into their seats, they lean at an awkward distance away from each other. He curses Armin, heck if he can hold a girl's hand in a theatre, why can’t he? 

 

He nudged Mikasa lightly, guiding her eyes to them and she let out a smile, whispering something along the lines of “they're cute”

 

Her lips pout in a cute way and Eren feels the dangerous lure of kissing her, he pulls back his hand, attempting to offhand it as getting snacks, she weakly smiles back and turns to the screen, himself following. 

 

———-

 

They make brisk talk of the movie. 

 

It’s fine, it’s good even, but somehow, stupidly Mikasa misses feeling the warmth of his hand cradling her own, as they walk out the theatre. Eren makes a horrific pun referencing one of the scenes, and she rolls her eyes at him. 

 

Somehow despite him knowing a stupid amount of dad jokes, he still was kind enough to comfort her, putting aside his merciless teasing at the knowledge of her discomfort, it was sweet really. Mikasa skips down the theatre steps admiring the space themed eights carpet that still adorned the ageless cinema. The smell of popcorn incites a crowd of laughs around her, and her stomach begins to grumble. 

 

“Hungry?” Eren says raising an eyebrow and she nods her head with a tinge of shame. 

 

“Uh yeah, you wanna go get the burgers?”

 

Eren opens his mouth to reply but his eyes widen with shock, and he pushes Mikasa to the backside of an occupied  photobooth. 

 

Breathing heavily against the wall, expression wincing with apology. He presses strawberry scented lips upon hers. 



If she could faint, she would, because she can not imagine the slightest reality where this scenario could play out, and yet here she was, being kissed. In the lobby of a cinema, popcorn and candy smells drifting from the canteen, stars washed on the carpet. 

 

And yet somehow, despite her affirmed stance on refusing to ever like Eren Jaeger ever again , she finds herself enjoying it. 

 

He pulls back quickly glancing over his shoulders turning back to her face (which she guarantees is spread with bright pink right now). 

 

“Armin, armin  was behind us.” He explains and she nods her head in affirment “This was the first thing I could think of to make sure we wouldn’t be caught.” 

 

Her mind thankfully snaps back into action, readying her bantreous taunts. 

 

“Oh, and kissing me was the first thought in your mind? How scandalous Mr Yeager.” 

 

“NoOooh.” He exclaims “I just-“

 

“How about that burger?” She laughs and Eren begrudgingly agrees, wallet crying as Mikasa drags him out of the theatre. 


———



A girl, steps out of the booth, a redhead boy beside her. She shuffles their prints and the boy tugs on her purse lightly. 

“Ugh what is it-“ 

 

The girl turns, to face a rather interesting couple smooching round the back of the cinemas arcades, she smirks, snapping a photo on her camera and walking away.

Notes:

Ajajsjxjwkwokkskskiwiwkwejn

 THIS CHAPTER.

Honestly it was a trip to write, some parts took days while others took less than minutes, and some of it I didn’t even know I was writing until I did, Mikasas panic attack for example- or even the Jeager brothers talking out romance, it gives to show how weird writing is!

So, first of all, THANK You, You and YOu For your support of this series.

Nowwwwww, I know it’s says out of 10 but to be honest, I’ve looked at my plan, and it’s definitely not ten chapters, at least how I’m writing it.

In fact, technically speaking this is only act 1 of this entire fabulously stupid performance, and I look forward to writing more and more of their stupid interactions as they fumble about, especially now with all the chaos I’ve created *evil laughter*

 

So yeah, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and continue to enjoy reading the rest of my beloved EM trash with a side of aruani and Levihan, and a bunch of other minor ships lolol.

I have exams next week so idk how my writing schedules is gonna be, but I’ll try my best to get a full chapter and kick start the next act of our beloved dramatic teens making a mess!

Mwah, love you all, thanks for reading.