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Glee Gets Reinvented

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Kurt straddled Puck's lap and wrapped his pale, dainty arms around his neck, feeling Puck's hands travel down his back. Their tongues wrestled in their mouths as they panted through the lust filling their bodies, barely aware of the world around them. Which was good, because the world around them was just the empty coach they were in and the bustle of tourists outside.

They were sat cuddled up together after the drive to the Statue Of Liberty with the rest of the New Directions, all of whom had recently left the vehicle to get ready. Unfortunately they weren't the only ones there because it was some kinda discount day for students, which meant Vocal Adrenaline showed up too. Of course, they were planning some sort of flash mob in the crown for rehearsal sake, and the New Directions sure would enjoy that...

They loved heckling.

For now though, there were just a line of coaches that had dropped the individual groups off, and teenagers spilling from the doors. Or not, in this case, because Kurt and Puck were not spilling from the doors. They were pressed up together on the seat, still tongue banging each other's mouths.

"Mm, we should probably join the others." Kurt whispered as he pulled his lips from Puck's.

"No no no." Puck quietly pleaded, planting sloppy kisses from the other boy's jawline, down his throat and into the dip of his collarbone. It ellicited a throaty moan from Kurt, who quickly yanked Puck's mohawk up to reconnect their mouths.

For a while longer they just sat their exchanging saliva and touching as if they couldn't stop themselves. They had no idea what had brought on this sudden wave of desire, but they knew it was relentless. As they continued to feel and kiss and rock, they knew nothing would stop them from-

"Hey!" Santana's voice caught their attention.

She stepped onto the coach and peered down the aisle, latching her eyes onto the sight before her. Kurt's glasz eyes looked over his shoulder at her, grinning apologetically for the display. Puck seemed to show a little less regret for being caught, since he just kept grabbing and kissing the boy on his lap.

"Perverts!" Tina shouted from outside through the windows of the vehicle, getting a loud laugh from Quinn, who stood next to her. 

"What they said." Santana chuckled. "Now hurry your gay asses up!"

Kurt rolled his eyes clambered off of the lap he sat upon. Hands grabbed at him to pull him back down and Puck made huge puppy dog eyes at him, begging him to stay. How were those goddamn eyes so powerful? 

"Don't you even think about it!" Santana warned.

"Come on!" Quinn called.

"We got a lady to penetrate!" Tina cheered.

As they all joined the rest, they saw the the group was staring towards the top of the Statue Of Liberty, amazed by it's sheer height. Even Finn was impressed. She was a remarkable lady who, despite being made of metal, made the clothes she was adorned in look soft as silk. They could barely wait to climb to the top but the queue before them certainly slowed down their plans.

Somehow, Vocal Adrenaline had made it to the front of the line almost immediately. Apparently, they'd bought expensive tickets which allowed them special access, which was just so snobby. Rachel sent a smug grin to her ex glee club and headed inside before she could see all 12 members give her the middle finger in response. 

As they all settled in for a long, long wait, they relaxed into semi comfort. Quinn practically collapsed into Tina's arms, who collapsed onto Artie's lap, who wasn't much pleased about the situation he was in. Mercedes, Kurt and Mike just sat down every time they stopped, stood back up when they moved, and sat back down again when they stopped. It was a ridiculous process, but at least they could save their energy.

Puck and Finn bounced in excitement after betting on themselves. See, Puck bet that he could get to the crown before Finn, and Finn bet that he could get to the crown before Puck. When they had been informed that it would be exhausting to walk the full way let alone run it, they claimed they could do it far too confidently. One would probably be dead by dusk.

The others had a bet on which one it would be.

The only people to not actually object to the stupid idea of a race was Santana and Brittany, who were far more interested in a different plotline. An unexpected, red and blue striped plotline, to be exact. Though nobody else had noticed it yet and the girls were sure as hell were gonna need some snacks for the event.

Then there were the final two. Oh boy that was a whole thing. Lauren and Sam were carrying a weirdly large backpack each, both of which made a slushing sound when they moved. They'd had a few weird looks as they walked, but none were as intense as the expression on the security guard's face when their bags had been checked.

"No, I'm not gonna drink... Oh right, yeah, totally am."

Yeah... Weird. But the pair had a plan in place and they would be going through with it if it was the last thing they ever did. Plus, it would be absolutely incredible to see the look on Sue's face when she saw what they did. It would either be one of fury or pride, both were excellent reactions.

About an eternity later they all reached the entrance of the building and buzzed to go inside, though they seemed to be held up. Puck and Finn were jumping for what looked like a terrible warm up exercise and glared each other down with pent up aggression. They positioned themselves with one foot in front of the other and clicked their necks in preparation.

"I'm sorry but I have to put a stop to this." Kurt spoke up. "You will regret this if you do much as attempt it."

"Babe, I'm awesome, if you think this is the first time I've ran up 100 steps then you would be-"

"Go!" Finn shouted as he leapt off and started to race through the crowd of people in front of them.

"That's cheating!" Puck screamed, making Finn laugh over his shoulder as he kept bounding along. Obviously the only way to fix this was for Puck to shoot off at full speed towards his cheating best friend.

"Please, Puck don't-"

"Promise I won't die." Puck boomed, disappearing round a corner in his race to the top.

The rest of the group just stared for a minute or two before Sam and Lauren got impatient and followed the racing boys at a slightly slower pace. The rest did similarly, taking a leisurely stroll towards the final destination of the statue's crown. As Kurt made his way up with Quinn at his side, he turned to her with a raised eyebrow.

"Did Puck say 100 steps? Do they think this thing is only 100 steps?" Kurt asked worryingly.

"I think so." Quinn nodded. "They're in for a surprise."


"Why did you let me do this!" Puck pleaded to Kurt, who looked down on him in amusement. "I can't feel my feet!"

"Here they are." Santana said as she trod over Puck's feet on her up, walking past the onlookers.

Those onlookers were Kurt, of course, and Quinn, both of whom had stopped halfway up the stairs to look at Puck. He was in pretty bad shape, because that's what happens when you try to run up that many steps in one go. Finn had given up earlier on and was still a little way down finding his breath, but Puck kept going until he could go no more.

That's where he was now, sprawled out on his stomach over the stairs, panting desperately and struggling to get to his feet. The hoards of people walking past him had to stride over his limbs, though a few children ignored him completely and just stepped right on him like Santana.

"You are such an idiot." Kurt chuckled. He crouched down to his boyfriend and brushed through his sweaty mohawk.

"You really, really are." Quinn smirked. "This is pretty incredible though, I hope you've learned your lesson." She snapped another photo of him with her phone and giggled at it.

"How far did I make it?" Puck breathed.

"Not as far as I'm gonna." Finn cheered as he walked up to his struggling pal. "Take a breather, trust me, it helps." He continued to walk up the stairs for a while with a smug smirk.

"Damn it." Puck sighed.

"You can totally still beat him, he'll give up again soon. He isn't exactly known for his stamina." Quinn joked.

"I can't."

"What's up Puckerman?" Lauren greeted as she joined Kurt and Quinn with Sam. There were now enough of them there to block everyone else's way up, though they didn't seem to care.

"Are you kidding me, you're up here?" Puck groaned.

"Yeah I am." Lauren grinned. "I'm tough as nails, you really thought a few steps would beat me?"

"Is Finn winning?" Sam wondered, and Puck groaned in annoyance again.

"That's a yes." Quinn clarified.

"He really needs to move soon because people are getting aggravated." Kurt informed as he looked up, seeing aforementioned aggravated people waiting to get by.

"Carry me up." Puck begged.

"We can cut you up and put you in our bags." Sam suggested, and Lauren eagerly nodded.

"I'm willing, just kill me." 

"Pull yourself together." Quinn instructed.

"Yes, please do, this isn't very badass." Kurt said, and Puck immediately breathed normally again to glare up at him.

"I am a badass."

"You don't look like one."

"But I totally am."

"Then prove it."

"I don't need to prove it."

"You look like such a nerd right now."

Puck shot upright and stumbled to his feet to look Kurt dead in the eye.

"I am not a nerd."

"You're not?"


"Then be a badass."

"I will be a badass."

"Go on then!"

"Okay!" Puck shouted in response, before grabbing Kurt's face, smashing their lips together, whispering a thankyou and racing up the stairs while shouting some threats at Finn.

Lauren applauded, Sam laughed, the crowd moved freely and Quinn just stared at Kurt. As they all resumed their walk up the steps she continued to gawk until he finally faced her with a proud smile and asked what was up.

"How did you do that? He was half dead." She inquired.

"Please, everyone in this group is such a drama queen, including myself. All he needed was the ultimate cure for the overdramatic." Kurt smiled.



When they all reached the crown, they looked through the many slits and oohed at the incredible view. It was almost terrifying being that high up, but it was also gorgeous and awesome and romantic and fun. Everyone admired the city from above so intently that they almost forgot about the happenings in the world around them.

Puck and Finn were still lightly arguing over who won after reaching the top at the same time. Mercedes had been appointed as adjudicator to dictate who was the real winner, though she was honestly just in it for the entertainment. Nothing was quite as funny as seeing the ridiculous boys argue over something that nearly killed both of them.

Kurt was right, everyone was so dramatic.

Mercedes absolutely lived for it.

Santana and Brittany did too. They watched a small bit of the Finn/Puck race standoff before turning their attention back to the real event of the day. They were hoping for a fight, a verbal assault or two, though usually those only happened with Vocal Adrenaline so they'd have to wait another couple days for that. 

For the time being, however, they just watched Kurt hover by the edge of the crown, peering over the side with a glazed over expression. He seemed to be so entranced by the view that he barely even noticed Puck come up next to him and brag about winning. Or maybe he just ignored him...

Probably the last one.

"So yeah, total badass. Thanks for like... pepping me up and..." He trailed off as he noticed something from afar. "Hey, Kurt?"

"I am listening." Kurt defended, turning to his boyfriend.

"Yeah, I know, uh... Can I ask you something?" He smirked.

"What?" Kurt knew that smirk, so he asked with precaution.

"What happened with you and Sebastian?" Kurt groaned as the question was asked. "Like, I told you I don't care that you did it and I don't but... What was going on? Did you date-"

"Ha!" Kurt scoffed. "God no."

He scanned Puck to see those goddamn puppy dog eyes again, so he rolled his own and sighed. It wasn't like it was a massive secret or anything anyway, so who cared?

"Fine." He gave in, Puck leant in to listen. "Fine, I'll tell you. But it really isn't that fascinating."

"Don't care, just curious." 

"I know... Okay, look, he joined Dalton the same week I left and we hit it off for a few days before I returned to McKinley. We met up a few times, he asked some questions, I answered them, he offered to teach me some things and I accepted... Then I reciprocated, that's it."

"Wow, it just seems so unlike you."

"I know."

"To just do that with someone-"

"I get it."

"That you weren't even dating."

"Yes I-" Kurt stopped. He scanned Puck once more.

The tanned boy was sweaty from the rampant running, maybe even still a little out of breath. Though there was more to it, something that explained his curiosity with the Sebastian situation. His fingers made circles on the walls awkwardly, his eyes looked to the floor, he fidgetted a little bit.

"Oh... That's what this is about." Kurt realized.

"Not completely. I guess I'm just like... If you did it with him then why haven't you... you know... with me?"

"Well," Kurt shrugged. "Why haven't you... you know... with me either?"

"I want to."

"So do I."

"But it's different cause it's... You."

"And it's... You. In the best way."

"Completely. The best goddamn way."

"So..." Kurt shrugged again and looked into Puck's eyes.

"I would do it, if you wanted me to."

"I do."

"Then I will."



"Okay." They kept staring at each other.


Plain old silence for a few seconds of meaningful staring, before the realisation of what they'd just said to each other settled in and they just burst into laughter. It was the weirdest conversation, and they just couldn't help but giggle at themselves. Puck took Kurt by the waist and smiled down at him sweetly, and Kurt smiled right back up at him brightly.

"I really like you." Puck whispered. "A lot."

"Not so bad yourself." Kurt responded. "Why did you ask me all that anyway?"

"Because Sebastian."

"What about him?"

"He's there."

"He's..." Kurt followed Puck's eyeline and twisted in his grasp, only to see Blaine and Sebastian appear before him. "Oh."

Neither boy was wearing their trademark tie and blazer combo, though they did both seem poshly dressed. Collared polo, bow ties, hair gel and red jeans, did these people ever take a break? Like, it must be exhausting excuding so many 'daddy bought me the wrong colour Lamborghini' vibes at once.

Other recognisable Warblers seemed to be scattered over the floor, though nobody had really noticed them before. However, the real question wasn't why they weren't noticed, it was why the hell they were there at all.

Santana and Brittany didn't seem to care as they continued to watch the scene play out. Puck had a weirdly smug smile on his face like he'd just accomplished something, Sebastian leered at both boys while Blaine only leered at Kurt and Kurt, the man himself, looked uncomfortable. It was rather tense, though that tension was easily broken.

"What are you doing here?" Kurt asked with a polite smile.

"We're here for Nationals, just to watch, of course." Blaine smiled back. "I thought it seemed like kind of a pointless trip but... Who am I to say no to a free vacation to the best city on Earth?"

"That's so stupid, how loaded is your school?" Puck scoffed.

"We don't really care, as long as we get nice things." Sebastian stated bluntly. "Speaking of nice things, how are you two doing?" Blaine seemed to glare at him briefly at that line, which only made him huff humorously.

"We're hot and alive, what more is there to know?" Puck smirked, pulling Kurt into his side with a strong arm.

"Maybe how you got so sweaty, Pip." Blaine said.

"It's Puck." Puck corrected. "And I ran up here."

"That's an odd word for hopelessly fumbled." Kurt teased, drawing a chuckle from the private school boys.

"Either way, I would like to have seen it." Sebastian grinned.

"For Kurt's eyes only."

"You guys seem really close." Blaine spluttered far too quickly.

"Yes well, we are dating."

"Mhm, mhm, you are." Blaine nodded violently, fidgeting nervously. "You are."

"Sorry he's so awkward, we saw you guys making out in the coach earlier." Sebastian explained, and Blaine glared at him again in an urge to get him to shut up. It didn't work. "I thought it was hot but he kept going on about Kurt's tongue and his thighs, he really liked your-" 

Blaine smacked a hand over Sebastian's mouth and started to steer them away in discomfort. Puck was already looking at him like he wanted to watch him bleed or cry, preferably both, as the two boys walked anxiously backwards. Kurt just stood there, holding back his laughter.

"He's just... He's... It's nothing. Someone's calling us." Blaine stuttered.

"Yeah, of course." Puck said through gritted teeth.

"Bye Kurt." Blaine smiled. "Bye uh... Pablo."

"You know my name, Bland." Puck glared. "And if I see you checking out my boy one more time, you're gonna regret it!" He shouted. Sebastian just giggled into Blaine's palm as the boys walked further away, and Kurt looked up at Puck.

"Your boy?" Kurt smiled.

"Yeah." Puck nodded. "You're my boy, babe."

"I'm a lot of things."

"You certainly are." 

"Oh come on!" Santana exclaimed as she walked over to the boys with Brittany in town. "There wasn't even a punch up! Two minutes of 'hey don't look at him' and that's it?"

"Sorry, what were you expecting?" Kurt asked.

"Something awesome, like-"

"Blood." Brittany interrupted.

"Yes, of course but also-"

"No." Brittany spoke again. She pointed over in a different direction. "Blood."

They all looked over to Lauren and Sam. The pair were currently emptying their bags, which had cartons of red liquid unrecognisable to the others. As Brittany so brilliantly voiced, it was presumed to be fake blood or something as they had planned. Though apparently, they'd gone in a different direction.

Sam removed the lids of all the cartons he'd brought and emptied the liquid inside into his bag, while Lauren did the same. They were uncontrollably giggling the whole time and getting a few more weirded out looks. That was understandable considering what they were doing, but it's not like anything was done about it.

What was illegal about pouring stuff into a bag?

Yeah, you look like a weirdo, especially with all the laughter, but it's not a crime to be weird. However, it was difficult to judge whether or not what they did next was criminal or not.

Lauren and Sam went to seperate slits in the crown and hovered their individual bags out of them, dumping the insides onto the Statue Of Liberty's face. The liquid dripped over her features as everyone raced to the edges to see what had happened, and sure enough, it was spectacular.

All the Glee kids laughed at the display presented: Sam and Lauren had effectively given the Statue Of Liberty - the remarkable figure, the historically significant landmark - a slushy facial. They bowed as they were applauded by the gleeks and ran as a few security guards up there tried to grapple with them.

They would be the second New Directions pair to end up in custody in New York for doing something stupid, and what a legacy that was.