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when you hit disaster, the answer will be yours to find

Summary:

Kaito leaps from one rooftop to another, fleeing the scene of the heist. It’s not a hard jump.

He falls.

He can’t feel his legs.

Notes:

CRACKS KNUCKLES unlike gosho, i respect the laws of time so heres some notes:

---the kids were born in 1994, and this fic takes place in 2010 don’t @me about the technology, dcmk already does weird things with the scifi tech. its anime

---akako does NOT show up in this fic, so i dont want yall to get excited expecting her to show up just to be disappointed. she still exists in this universe, but shes for a later fic

---the nightmare arc and sun halo arc have not happened, but everything else (besides akako-centric stories) happened mostly as normal

---yes i drew all the pictures and comic pages myself and the characters look like that because i do what i want

Chapter 1: the accident

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

you will be the chosen master
you will leave with the girl this time
you will be the leading actor
movie of your own design
and when you hit disaster
the answer will be yours to find
you’re the mirror’s master
now forever i’m resigned

mirror master -young the giant

~Sunday, July 18th, 2010

Kaito leaps, cape flapping behind him. It’s not a hard jump. His feet are lined up to land perfectly on the platform jutting out from the other roof. He’ll use it as a stepping stone and run across the roof to the fire escape on the other side, and the task force won’t know where he disappeared to.

But then he touches down, and the platform gives out. Kaito reaches, trying to find purchase with his hands, something to grab—but there’s only air, and he tips backwards.

He falls.

Glider—he opens up his glider, tries to flip over to safely catch the wind—

The fall is shorter than he thought.

Kaito hears the crack more than he feels it as he lands on his back, glider beneath him. The air leaves his lungs all at once, and when he can finally inhale it’s with white hot pain running up his spine and the realization that he doesn’t feel that pain in his legs.

He can’t feel his legs.

No, that can’t be right. This can’t be happening. This is—he’s dreaming, he’s having a nightmare.

He tries to move. Tries, because all that it results in is more pain and a choked noise that he only barely keeps from turning into a scream.

Everything hurts, except his legs.

This is it. This is the nightmare scenario.

But it’s not a nightmare. This is real.

This is happening.

He can’t move.

Someone is going to find him in this dark alley, someone is going to find him lying defenseless in a heap on the concrete and they’re going to unmask him and he’s going to be caught and everything will be over.

He can feel himself hyperventilating, so he slaps a hand over his mouth to slow down his beathing. He can’t panic right now. He needs to figure out a solution. He can make it out of this. He can make it out of anything. Nothing can stop him.

He can’t feel his legs.

Kaito hears footsteps, and jerks his head towards the sound. He can’t get up to see who it is. It’s only one set, but if it’s a cop—even if it’s a civilian—

“Bocchama!”

Jii-chan,” he chokes on the name. It’s hard to hold back the tears when every breath burns and he’s so relieved that no one else found him first. But this is good, he can work with this. He won’t get caught. He can’t get caught.

“I was keeping an eye from the cafe,” Jii kneels next to him, his words frantic. “I saw you fall and you didn’t come back up. Where are you hurt?”

“I can’t... feel my legs.” But he has a plan now, at least.

Jii halts in his tracks. “You—?”

“Take—take my phone.” Kaito speaks through gritted teeth. He can’t be loud, someone could find him. He reaches into his breast pocket, and the motion burns from his shoulder down his spine, but he pulls out the phone and lets it slip from his hands. He can’t get caught. He can’t. “Call yourself, from my phone. K-keep the call going while we... I have to get the costume off. It’s a quickchange suit, but I—” he sucks in a sharp breath and holds it in to prevent a sob. “Have—did you call?”

Jii’s phone ringing and quickly cutting off answers his question.

“Kaito-bocchama—

“You have an alibi for why you’re in the area. Ssstick to it. I tried to call Aoko but hit—hit your number on my speed dial. Now help me get—fuck,” he can’t hold back the tears anymore.

The rest of it is hazy. He knows he’s crying, his whole spine is on fire. He almost screams, when Jii gets the glider out from underneath him. The costume seems easy after that, especially since he's already got his normal clothes on underneath. Jii has no problems cutting the suit away to get it off easier. Kaito tears off the mask and wig himself. It’s a simple matter to get rid of the costume and bent glider in a dumpster just down the alley. They can retrieve it later, but if the task force finds it before then it’s not like they’ll find anything incriminating.

Jii ends the fake phone call. “It’s going to be fine, Kaito-bocchama. It will be fine.”

With shaking hands and a shaking voice, Jii calls an ambulance.

~

Well, the heist is done. Bastard got away again. Ginzou is gonna have a hell of a time writing this one up. He glances over at Aoko, but something is missing... Ah, that’s it. He waves his hand to get her attention from where she’s leaning against a wall, out of the way of the task force who are still looking around for evidence. “Where did Kaito-kun go?”

Aoko perks up and makes her way over to him. “Kaito said he was going to go outside to try and see Kid.”

“That brat,” Ginzou groans. “Is he ever gonna stop it with following that damn thief around?”

Aoko rolls her eyes. “You know how Kaito is, he just likes a good show.”

Well that’s for sure. But before he can think too hard about it, his thoughts are interrupted by sirens outside. Ginzou is already storming for the doors. He’s going to murder the dumbass who accidentally set off their sirens.

Except, there’s an ambulance that’s pulled halfway around the side of the building.

Shit.

He can’t imagine who got hurt. Maybe it’s a coincidence, but Kid did just flee the scene. The building is taped off. Kid’s heists have never had casualties before beyond the odd concussion or chemical headaches he’ll give people from knocking them around, but there’s a first time for everything. If Kid hurt one of his own men, or God forbid a civilian, he doesn’t know what he’ll do.

He’ll sort out who called the ambulance and why they didn’t come to him about it later. Right now, he’s getting on the scene as fast as possible to figure out what happened.

There’s a figure on the ground, and it looks like the paramedics are immobilizing them to get them on a gurney. Coming closer, he—

That’s Kaito.

It’s Kaito.

It’s Kaito.

Ginzou’s feet are rooted to the spot. His mouth goes dry. He’s only snapped out of it by Aoko screaming “KAITO!” beside him, and he becomes aware enough to realize he has to move. Kaito is already being taken into the ambulance, Ginzou needs to be there with him. He’s almost at the doors when a man cuts him off to get in the ambulance after the paramedics.

Is that Jii?

That half second of hesitation is all that it takes for the doors to slam on him and the ambulance to start driving away. He doesn’t let himself hesitate again. “Aoko, get in the car.”

He only gives half a thought to telling one of his men that he has a family emergency, only barely remembers to buckle his seatbelt before he hits the gas and screeches after the ambulance, only vaguely registers the words of comfort he gives to Aoko in the passenger seat, just as much for him as it is for her.

He slams the car door shut and doesn’t stop to double check that he locked it. Aoko grabs at his hand and he holds it tightly as he dashes into the ER, trying not to panic, trying not to make Aoko more worried than she already is. He’s ready to shake down a nurse to find Kaito, but then he spots a familiar face sitting in a chair with his hands over his mouth, staring at the empty space in front of him. “Jii-san!”

Jii startles and looks up. “Nakamori-keibu?”

It’s been a long time since Ginzou has seen Jii, he thinks it was probably before Kaito’s father died. He’s changed, but that’s not important right now. “We saw Kaito-kun go into the ambulance. What happened?”

Jii looks... haunted. He brings a hand up to his mouth briefly before he pulls it away and says, “He fell.” He swallows, and a tremor creeps into his voice. “He was on the roof, and he fell. I—I was in the area, I...”

That’s three stories up. He fell from three stories, he could have died. Did he hit his head? Break his neck? No, he would be dead. He can’t be. He wasn’t.

“Is Kaito okay?” Aoko asks. She’s on the verge of tears, still gripping Ginzou’s hand like it’s life or death. (Maybe it is.)

“He’s... he was awake, he called me on accident instead of Aoko-san, but...” He sounds like Ginzou feels, like everything is in a fog. “Kaito-bocchama said he couldn’t feel his legs.”

Aoko lets out a small, strangled noise.

“He couldn’t...” Did he break...? “What have the doctors said? Is he going to be okay?”

“He’s in surgery. We won’t know anything until he’s out.”

They have to wait.

There’s nothing else they can do.

Ginzou keeps an arm around Aoko, hugging her tightly as she cries, and keeps holding her even as her crying dies off to quiet sniffles. Jii leans against the wall to call Chikage and speaks just quiet enough that Ginzou can’t hear, but he doesn’t think he could pay attention to whatever Jii is saying anyway.

He doesn’t know what time it was when they got here, so he doesn’t know how long it’s been when a doctor comes to speak with them.

Kaito broke his spine.

It’s an injury low on his spine, the doctor says. It will only affect his legs, but they won’t know until the swelling goes down if he’ll lose his ability to walk completely. He’ll be asleep until morning, most likely.

“Aoko is going to stay here,” she says before the doctor even finishes talking. Her voice is commanding and determined, even with her red rimmed eyes and shaking hands. “She needs to be there when Kaito wakes up.”

“I’m afraid we can only let immediate family into the room overnight. And speaking of, I need to ask you about his—”

“We are family!” Ginzou shouts.

“We can’t stop you from staying in the waiting room, but we just can’t let you into the patient room.”

That’s the best deal he’s going to get, isn’t it? He wants to yell, argue with the doctor, but it’s probably not going to get him anywhere. He doesn’t have the energy to shout anymore right now. It’s late. This has been... exhausting.

Aoko, however, apparently still has the energy to argue. “Aoko needs to be there when he wakes up!” she shouts again, tears brimming. “Please, she has to. She can’t leave while Kaito is here.”

The doctor sighs, looking the three of them over. “We can’t let non family members—”

“Aoko isn’t leaving!” she yells.

Ginzou feels odd about being the one who has to reign Aoko in for once, but he puts a hand on her shoulder. “Aoko, we shouldn’t argue with this.”

She immediately shakes him off. “Aoko has to be with Kaito! No one else will be!”

Ginzou opens his mouth, about to argue with her, but he can’t do that right now. This isn’t just a petty thing they can argue about for the sake of arguing like they do on a day-to-day basis, this is... fuck. But Aoko is right. He looks at the doctor again. “Listen, Kaito-kun’s mother is in America. She’s not gonna be here for a while even if she catches a plane right now. We really are the only family he’s got here at the moment. You can’t call her for every single fucking thing that happens, I’ll just get permission from her to make decisions in her stead, whatever,” he says bitterly. This is going to be a nightmare to sort out. “But in the meantime, can you just let her into the damn room, at least? They grew up together. She’s just gonna sneak in if you don’t let her in anyway.”

Aoko glares up at him with tear-filled eyes.

The doctor has an unsure look, glancing between the two of them. She finally looks defeated. “...Alright, miss. I’ll take you to his room. You come along as well, sir, and we’ll discuss what to do next about all of this.”

Ginzou sighs in relief. Aoko probably would have started a brawl in the waiting room over this. “I’ll be back in a minute. We should exchange numbers.” Jii nods. Ginzou puts his hand back on her shoulder as they go forward.

It is a nightmare to get things sorted out. It feels like a blur that he doesn’t want to think about when everything is done with.

He feels numb, same as he’s felt all night, as he finally steps into the room Kaito is in. Aoko is sitting in a chair that’s been moved as close as it can get to the hospital bed, and she’s got both her trembling hands over one of Kaito’s own. She doesn’t even look up when he steps in and closes the door behind him.

Kaito doesn’t actually look that bad. Pale, hooked up to a heart monitor and an IV, but seemingly just asleep. No injuries on his face or anywhere else he can immediately see. Ginzou’s eyes wander to Kaito’s legs, hidden under a thin sheet. No thick cast on his legs to signify something broken. The doctor said his spinal cord snapped, and his back and shoulders have been badly bruised, and of course he must have stitches up his back from surgery where they tried to fix what they could, but he can’t see any of those things right now.

He can’t see any damage, and he didn’t actually see Kaito fall, which is probably why all of this feels so unreal. But regardless of what he can see right now, the fact remains that Kaito might never walk again.

“Hey,” he says softly, pulling up the other chair so he can sit next to Aoko and rub her back. “How are you holding up?”

She lets out a muffled whimper and her lip wobbles, something Ginzou knows well to mean that if she tries to speak, she’ll burst into tears. Again.

“It’ll be okay,” he reassures her. “He’ll wake up in the morning.”

She nods and squeezes Kaito’s hand.

“C’mere.” He pulls her close again. There’s not much else he can say, he can only hold her for a while.

They turn off the light eventually. Ginzou is tired, but he doesn’t know if he’ll actually get any sleep tonight. Aoko dozes off curled up in a chair, and he waits in the dark hospital room, listening to Aoko and Kaito’s steady breathing.

He has to wait.

There’s nothing else he can do.

Notes:

the fic is completely finished, and i'll be updating every tuesday and friday (roughly) :D welcome to the au hell ive been in for the last year!

Chapter 2: the hospital

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~?, ??

Kaito wakes up slow, confused, and vaguely in pain.

The pain becomes less vague and more centralized around his back as he slowly opens his eyes, but it’s still a dull throbbing—kinda like how his brain feels right now. Does he have a concussion or something? His head doesn’t actually hurt, but he remembers slipping on—

He fell.

Kaito fell off the roof, and he couldn’t—

He looks down.

His legs are there.

He can’t feel them.

Maybe he just—maybe they’re just numb like in a normal way. Maybe when he wakes up more, his legs will too. Or maybe the painkillers are just so good at their job that he can’t feel anything at all.

But he can feel his back, and some kind of plastic thing—brace?—that’s cutting into the skin on his torso. His back hurts in a dull sort of way, his spine is throbbing behind the fog of whatever painkillers he’s on and he can’t feel his legs.

He makes a poor attempt to sit up, and regrets it immediately. Everything is dulled, yeah, but he felt that spike of pain like a knife in his back when he tried to move. He didn’t even get himself off the pillow. He realizes a half second later he probably shouldn’t have done that with some kind of... spine injury.

He doesn’t really know what he’s supposed to do, and he doesn’t really know if he’s even awake or just having a nightmare so he just stares at the ceiling for a while. He’s only brought out of his trance when he hears someone make a noise next to him. He turns his head and sees Aoko, waking up in a hospital chair.

“Kaito...?”

“Hey—” Oh that’s a lot more choked and panicky than we would’ve liked. Maybe staring at the ceiling didn’t actually calm him down. “When—”

Kaito!” She jumps up from her chair to practically throw herself on him in a hug—normally not a big deal, but he lets out a strangled cry when her weight falls on him and the pressure on his torso, his back—“Oh!” she recoils quickly. “Oh no oh no, Aoko’s so sorry, she just—you’re awake.” She sniffles. “Aoko’s so happy you’re awake now.”

Kaito has too many jumbled thoughts running through his head to respond, but she keeps talking anyway.

“Aoko was—she was so scared last night, she saw you go into the ambulance and she and Dad followed it to the hospital and—and she didn’t even know if you were okay but you’re awake now!” she laughs, or tries to, because tears are streaming down her face and they’re not happy ones.

Kaito is pretty sure his own face is blank. He knows he must be panicking or on the verge of it, he can hear his heart beating just a bit too fast on the monitor he’s hooked up to. But he doesn’t feel connected to his body or what it’s feeling. Not his heart, and not his—he can’t—“I can’t feel my legs,” he says, barely above a whisper.

Aoko makes some kind of choked noise, and tries to scrub the tears away from her face. “The... the doctor said you broke your back. Your spine.”

“Ah.” There’s not much to say to that, is there? He broke his back. He can’t feel his legs.

“Dad’s not here, so—so he’s probably out there talking to the doctor right now.” She puts her hand over his. “Aoko can—she should probably tell them you’re awake.”

“Yeah.”

Aoko doesn’t move, though. She squeezes his hand, tears still in her eyes. He squeezes her hand back, though he barely registers doing it. “Why were you up there?”

It was escape route number three. “I wanted to see Kaitou Kid.” There’s no other good reason for him to have been up on the roof, not during a Kid heist. He’s pretty sure that’s the excuse he gave her anyway, when he ran off.

“You—” Aoko bites down on whatever she was about to say. “Fucking... Kaitou Kid,” she hisses.

Oh. He knows that tone. That’s the way she talks about Kid when she’s mad that he’s keeping her dad out late.

She’s gonna blame Kaitou Kid for this mess too, huh?

Well, she’s not wrong.

~?, ??

“I called your mother again, she—”

“What?” Kaito interrupts. “What do you mean again?

Jii blinks. “I called her as soon as you were admitted to the hospital.”

Kaito squints, but it unfortunately doesn’t help him get past the painkiller-induced fog in his head. “...Is she coming?”

“She said she’ll be on her way as soon as possible, but she has a lot of business to wrap up first and it might take a week or so.” Jii looks concerned, but then again he looked concerned when he walked in, so Kaito doesn’t know if it's a general thing or if he’s concerned about this specifically. “I wasn’t able to get an exact date out of her.”

Of course he wasn’t. Kaito shouldn’t have expected her to come so soon. “Okay.”

~?, ??

People always said he was gonna break a leg or something from pulling big stunts. It was a joke, but—

It finally happened.

He pulled a big stunt.

And now he’ll never be able to do another one again.

He’s not gonna be able to do any more acrobatics.

He isn’t going to be able to do magic again, not—not the way he likes doing magic.

No more tricks.

No more heists.

He won’t be able to look for Pandora.

He won’t be able to find his dad’s killers.

He won’t be able to get revenge.

He can’t even walk right now, and—

He’ll never walk again.

A sob falls out of his mouth before he even realizes that tears have been building up in his eyes. He’s lying back on the hospital bed and can’t curl up to hide his face. He can’t even turn himself onto his side.

Ginzou—Kaito didn’t even entirely realize he was there, but he gets an arm around his shoulders to hug him. He’s saying something, Kaito is sure, but he can’t hear it as he grips Ginzou tight and his sobbing gets worse.

His crying doesn’t really die down, but it’s not quite as hysterical after a while, and he can finally form words. “I wasn’t even—I slipped,” he hiccups. “I thought it was stable. I slipped off.”

“I’m sorry, Kaito-kun.” Nakamori rubs his shoulder, since he can't reach a hand all the way around to his back. “I’m sorry.”

“I wanna wake up.”

Ginzou doesn’t say anything. Kaito doesn’t know what he wants him to say, what he wants to hear, but Ginzou’s grip on Kaito is solid and he leans into that.

“It’s not fair,” he whispers. It’s not fair it’s not fair it’s not fair.

~?, ??

Now that the swelling around his spine has gone down, he has an official diagnosis. It’s an incomplete L-2 spinal cord injury. Incomplete meaning he still has some small connection, some feeling in his legs.

“Some” meaning that he can sort of feel a little bit of his left knee when it’s prodded, and he loses feeling on his right leg mid-thigh instead of all the way up his hip like on the other leg.

All of it is a very fancy way of saying his legs don’t work, and he’s probably never gonna walk again. The doctors say he does have a chance of getting mobility back, but probably nothing like walking. He’s gonna have to be in a wheelchair the rest of his life.

He’s starting physical therapy in the hospital almost immediately. With incomplete injuries it’s crucial to start as early as possible, to make attempts to get feeling and mobility back, they said. And after that, he needs to decide if he’s gonna do inpatient or outpatient rehabilitation, and—

It makes his head hurt to think about all the stuff that needs to happen.

Ginzou is right there, though. He asks the doctor questions when Kaito’s throat dries up, and remembers things when Kaito is spacing because this doesn’t feel real. Ginzou is helping a lot, probably more than Kaito can process right now. At least he’s aware enough to know that he’s in a fog. Sorta.

His back hurts.

~?, ??

Aoko comes into the room. He doesn’t expect Keiko to follow, but it’s not an unwelcome surprise. He thinks he says “Hey,” but he’s not actually sure. Keiko says nothing, runs past Aoko towards him and stops just short of the hospital bed, hands fluttering but not actually reaching out for him. He lifts his arms slightly in an invitation. “S’okay to hug. I won’t break.” No more than he’s already broken.

She doesn’t throw herself at him like Aoko did. She leans in quietly but quickly, getting her arms half around him to squeeze just his shoulders, like she’s afraid to touch his back at all. Kaito doesn’t have any such reservations, wrapping his arms all the way around her and hugging tightly.

“Kaito-kun, oh my God, I’m so glad you’re okay—” She cuts herself off, looking panicked as she pulls away. “Well you’re—I mean—” Tears well up in her eyes, and she’s unable to finish the sentence.

“Good to see you too,” he croaks, half a smile on his face that definitely isn’t genuine, even though he really is glad she’s here.

“What happened? Aoko said you were on the roof at a Kid heist, but...?”

He’s not actually sure if he’s explained how, exactly, he fell. But the long explanation isn’t much longer than the short one. “There was... I got close to the edge, but it... it wasn’t stable. A piece of the ledge broke and I slipped.” A stupid mistake. He slipped. A stupid accident. All the stunts he pulls on heists, and what does him in is a single slip. Something that could have happened on his own time, playing on a roof with Aoko or climbing out of his window to sneak out.

Kaitou Kid would never make such a rookie mistake, but here he is.

“I’m so sorry,” Keiko whispers. “We’re all here for you.”

He knows. All he can do is nod in response.

~?, ??

It hurts. He doesn’t know if it hurts more to think about never walking again or if the actual physical pain in his back and legs hurts more—and his legs do hurt. He can’t feel them, he can’t move them, but it feels like someone is stabbing hot knives into them. It’s awful. They’re giving him painkillers of course, but it doesn’t shut out everything. Physical therapy hurts. Pushing himself in a wheelchair hurts. Being pushed around in a wheelchair by someone else hurts. Sitting hurts. Laying down hurts.

It hurts.

~?, ??

~?, ??

Kaito hates that he’s too exhausted after physical therapy to just sit up on his own. The hospital bed can be adjusted so he’s not laying flat when he’s talking to Aoko, at least. “How are the doves doing?”

“They’re good, but they miss you.”

Kaito scoffs. “They miss me when I’ve only been gone for school.”

“Well, Houdini doesn’t miss you, actually.”

“Houdini hates everyone, she doesn’t count.”

Aoko giggles. “She tried to bite Aoko this morning, actually.”

“Heh.” He tries to laugh, but the dry noise is all he can muster. He’s pretty sure he’s not even smiling. “That’s my little bastard. Give her a treat for me.”

“Aoko will,” she says, smile turning softer. “You’ll be out of here in no time, you can spoil them yourself soon enough.”

“Yeah. That’ll be nice.”

~?, ??

He finds himself crying more often than he would like. He’s glad it’s mostly just Aoko and Ginzou who see.

~?, ??

Kaito jerks awake, then gasps. Not because of the nightmare, but because of the burning pain that shoots up his back. He can’t even curl up to try and escape it, he just has to stay frozen in place and try to breathe shallowly, because moving his ribs jostles his spine. Everything jostles his spine. He can’t wait until he doesn’t have to deal with this kind of stuff anymore.

He was taken off the morphine drip a long time ago, and he doesn’t have painkillers on hand to make it go away instantly, but it’s already starting to subside. The pain finally gets down to what he thinks is a manageable enough level to go back to sleep—then his phone rings. Son of a bitch.

He fumbles for the phone that's on his table next to the hospital bed. He was just going to decline the call because he really shouldn’t be making noise in a hospital this late at night, but—it’s Aoko? “Hhhi.” Kaito winces. “Why are you calling at ass o’clock?”

“Kaito...” Aoko sounds relieved, and—is she crying?

“Aoko?” Oh, ow, can’t sit up. Shouldn’t have tried to do that. He bites back on a groan. “What happened?”

“Aoko needed to hear your voice,” she sobs. “She had—had a nightmare that, when she found you, you were—Aoko had to make sure you’re still here.”

The world really is full of coincidences. “I’m still here,” he says. He doesn’t know what else to say. “I’m alive.”

“Mhm. Aoko is—she’s glad.” Her crying has turned to little hiccups and sniffling. “It just felt really real.”

Kaito just wants her to be here with him. “I... keep dreaming about when I fell too.” About his head caving on the pavement, his spine shattering into a thousand pieces, his body frozen on impact and he can’t even breathe—“I get it.”

“Oh,” she sniffs. “Sorry. Aoko—she didn’t mean to complain, you must be having a worse time than her.”

“No, it’s—” he doesn’t know what it is. If he saw Aoko on the ground, saw her getting wheeled away by paramedics—he thinks he would be having a lot more nightmares than he is right now. “Can we stay on the phone for a while?”

“Aoko would like that.”

He’s not entirely sure what to talk about. He still feels foggy, but he knows he’s not gonna be able to sleep right now. “I’ll probably get released in a couple days.”

“You’re going to inpatient rehab, right?”

“I’m... I was gonna, yeah.” He’d been talking to Ginzou about plans for his rehab. He’d settled on inpatient, since it’s supposed to be more intensive and hopefully a little shorter. But, “I might do outpatient instead.”

Aoko doesn’t ask why. He knows she’s thinking the same thing. “It’ll be nice if you stay at home instead of at a rehab center.”

“Yeah.” It’ll be more difficult on Ginzou because he’ll have to drive him to therapy sessions. Jii will probably offer to help too. But he doesn’t know if he can stand being alone like this, every night, until he can finally go back home. “We’ll see.”

“Aoko will come over tomorrow.” As if she wasn’t over here just today, and yesterday, and the day before that, and every day since he got here. As if Kaito doubted she would be here in the morning as soon as she’s able.

“You can call me whenever, you know.”

“You can too,” she shoots back. “You said you had nightmares too. You can call Aoko.”

“I will. Promise.” Normally he would agree just to placate her, to make sure she doesn’t worry, but he really does mean it this time.

It would be better to have her here, though. He wants her here, in person. He wants her to sneak into his bed like they would do when they were kids, and fall asleep with her as if that could chase all the monsters away.

Yeah, there’s no way he would survive inpatient rehab.

The call is still going, just dead air. “We should probably get some sleep,” he says quietly.

“Probably,” Aoko agrees.

“You’re coming over tomorrow,” he says, mostly to reassure himself that she’ll be there. He knows she will. It’s stupid to question it.

“Aoko will. Promise.”

“Then... I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, Kaito.”

He’s still not tired when they hang up, but he tries to settle in as well as he can without twisting himself into another painful position.

Kaito wants to go home.

Notes:

i hate drawing hospital things ʘ‿ʘ is it accurate? fuck if i know i just google quick refs and move on bc otherwise i would never get shit don

Chapter 3: coming home

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Sunday, July 25th

Wheeling himself around is difficult-- jerky and awkward and unfamiliar even after the long days of therapy to help him transition to life with a wheelchair before they released him from the hospital. It involved a lot of figuring out how to do basic things that... he really didn’t realize how difficult they would be now. He knew this was going to be hell, but it was hard to grasp it until his therapist started breaking down things he would need to know, helped him learn how to transfer in and out of his chair, how to get off the floor by himself if he falls, how to change clothes while laying down, things he’ll have to put in his house to make sure he can access everything he needs... everything is a massive pain now.

And on that subject, even with painkillers he’s been prescribed? Everything still hurts. He was warned that the pain might not go away. Chronic pain is really common after a spinal cord injury, apparently. He keeps expecting to wake up and feel better, at least a little, but aside from little ups and downs, it hurts. And it’s exhausting.

So, he’s resigned to mostly being pushed around by other people right now.

But once he’s in the house, he insists on pushing himself. He only has one order of business right now, and that’s his doves. So when Aoko goes up the stairs and Ginzou goes to the kitchen or something, Kaito makes a beeline to the back door.

It’s tricky to open the door with his wheelchair in the way, but he manages to maneuver it open after a minute. Immediately, Kaito is halted by the slight step from the door down to the patio. This shouldn’t be too much of a problem, right? It’s like, a few inches or something. And he’s going down, he doesn’t really have to attempt a wheelie to get his front wheels over the ledge, even though he knows technically he should. He hasn’t quite figured out wheelies yet, especially since this is a rented hospital chair, not one really meant for him to use long term by himself. But if he’s careful, then theoretically he can just. Slowly roll himself down. Front wheels-- casters first. Once he’s over that hurdle, he can get himself down the rest of the way smoothly.

The wheels don’t make that much of a noise when they roll over the ledge-- but he feels the impact as they connect to the ground through his whole body. All at once he grabs the door frame with one hand and a wheel with the other, holding himself in place before his chair can roll forward any more. He’s barely even tilted, but it still feels like he’s about to fall. He’s just gonna take a minute to get his bearings and prove to his stupid brain that he’s not gonna tip over, then he can keep going.

However, Kaito then notices that one of his feet did, in fact, slip off of the footrest, and that’s just too much to handle right now. His heart decides to start hammering just a bit too fast for him to be comfortable with, though all that comes out of his mouth is a flat, “Ah.” He is absolutely Not letting go of the door frame now.

Aoko is upstairs, he doesn’t think she’ll be able to hear him. Ginzou is still here though, right? He carefully raises his voice to make sure he doesn’t sound panicked. “Ginzou-ji?”

~

Ginzou is puttering around until the kids finish their business. Aoko already put together a bag of Kaito’s clothes and other stuff yesterday, just to be ready for him staying at their house. But Kaito wanted to come to his own house, mostly to his doves, before they try to get settled in. Aoko is taking the opportunity to grab some more of his things from upstairs.

He opens the fridge and pokes around at the food on the shelves. Depending on how long Kaito is going to be staying with them, it might be a good idea to bring some of this over so it doesn’t spoil. He’ll worry about it later, though. They’re already all exhausted, coming home from the hospital. In particular, Kaito transferring from the car to his wheelchair with a board to move himself across, was... difficult to watch. Ginzou wanted to help, but Kaito has to learn how to do this on his own, doesn’t he.

Kaito calling out “Ginzou-ji?” brings him out of that train of thought.

“Yeah?” he asks, already moving towards the sound of Kaito’s voice.

“I uh, need some help? I’m out back.” He doesn’t sound too distressed, but of course Ginzou is still worried to see him in the doorway to the backyard with a hand braced against the frame. “I’m stuck.”

Shit, he should have offered to push Kaito outside. He didn’t even think about the step down to the backyard. Ginzou comes up behind him and grabs the handles. “Right, hang on.”

“Wait wait wait, my foot is in front of the wheel.” Kaito lets go of the wall and leans over to grab his leg and pull his foot back up onto the footrest. “Okay, got it.”

He notices Kaito tense up when he gets the chair over the ledge, and Ginzou can’t help but wince in sympathy. It’s a good thing Kaito can’t see him. “Do you need me to keep pushing you?”

“I’m good now.” Kaito wheels himself over to the fly cage across the patio. The doves immediately get rowdy when they notice him approaching. Kaito’s whole demeanor shifts as he calls out to them. He sits upright and his voice slips into a higher register to fuss over them like he always does. “I’m letting you out in just a second, babies. Don’t worry.”

Ginzou hasn’t ever been the biggest fan of the birds, so he just leans against the wall and watches Kaito coo over his doves as he enters the fly cage and fiddles with the latched door of the coop. He still looks tired, but it’s nice to see him a little bit more energized. He supposes pets will do that. He had a dog when he was a kid that had a similar effect on him.

As soon as the door is open, Kaito is swarmed by a dozen doves. “Hey, hey!” he laughs. “Calm down, there’s enough room for everyone.” The doves settle down, perching on his shoulders, head, lap, the wheelchair handles, and three are even flapping to stay balanced on his hands and forearms. “See? Room for everyone.” He smiles as he brings up the doves in his hands to his face, continuing to baby-talk them as they snuggle up against his cheeks.

Oh. He’s smiling. This is the first time he’s seen Kaito smile since he was admitted to the hospital.

“Hey,” Aoko calls as she opens the door. “Aoko finished getting everything from up-- ah!” She squeals as one of the doves flies away from Kaito to land on her head. “Well hello there!”

“Ahh, Teller, you traitor,” Kaito looks over at Aoko, still smiling tiredly.

“He’s the only one who’s been excited to see me every day while you were gone,” she giggles at the dove, reaching to pick him off her head and hold him in her hands as she walks towards Kaito. She moves past Ginzou, smiling back at Kaito and talking about how the doves have been doing.

It’s going to get better. Ginzou knows it will, even though it’s hard to imagine in the here and now. They’re all stressed and exhausted since Kaito’s life, and by extension theirs too, will never really be the same. It’s going to be a long road, but it’s going to be okay. They’ll all adjust.

He goes back inside to let Kaito and Aoko have their moment. Aoko can help him get over the ledge of the doorway, he doesn’t need to be here right now.

~

Aoko, obviously, is making Kaito take her bed. He doesn’t comment on it or try to argue, which Aoko figured he wouldn’t, but sometimes Kaito is extra stupid about things so she has to look out for it. She also sets up a spare futon in her room to sleep on the floor next to him, because she’s not gonna sleep in a different room from him. She’d just be jittery, wondering if he’s okay all night long.

Kaito doesn’t have to use a board to transfer over to her bed like he did with the car since it’s about the same height as the seat of his wheelchair, but she stays close anyway, just a little bit, and Kaito doesn’t object to her hovering. They’re both worried he’s gonna fall, even just this short distance, even if neither of them say it.

He sits on the edge of her mattress without moving, staring down at the floor.

“You okay?”

“I just need a minute before I lay down.”

“Your back?”

“Mhm.”

She winces in sympathy. “You already took your painkillers, right?”

“Yep.” Kaito flops sideways, landing on the pillows. “It’s not that bad. Just annoying.”

He probably doesn’t wanna talk about it. Aoko kneels down next to the bag of Kaito’s things she brought over. “I have your pajamas here.”

“I, uh, I think I’m just gonna sleep in these clothes for tonight.”

“I thought you hated sleeping in jeans?”

“It’s not like I can feel it,” he mumbles.

“Oh. Yeah, okay.” Aoko bites her lip. “Do you need anything else?”

“No, I think I’m good. Thanks.”

Aoko turns off the lights, plunging the room into darkness. She doesn’t bother with letting her eyes adjust before she crawls under the futon cover, curling up with her head on one pillow and hugging another pillow in her arms.

She doesn’t close her eyes, so she just slowly watches as her room comes into a barely-visible state, mostly looking like dark blobs of purples and blues. The curtains are completely closed, and from the floor she can’t see the small crack of orange she knows peeks out from beneath the hanging fabric. It’s too dim to light anything in the room anyway.

She doesn’t know how long it’s been when she hears, “Hey, Aoko?” Kaito’s voice is barely a whisper. “Do you wanna come up here?”

She takes a moment to register the question, but she doesn’t have to think about her answer. “Yeah.” She shoves her futon cover back and climbs into the bed without hesitation, dragging a pillow with her.

Kaito pulls back the sheets for her and she pulls them back up over the both of them. They stay like that for a while, facing each other even though they can barely see each other in the dark, their breathing and a quiet fan the only sounds in the room. Then, a shift of fabric, and Aoko only barely sees Kaito’s arms reaching for her before he brings her close and hugs her. She responds in kind, her arms going over his so she can wrap herself around Kaito.

As she settles in with him, her chin on top of his head and his face buried in the crook of her neck, she wonders what she would have thought of doing this just a few weeks ago, of cuddling with Kaito like this. They’d stopped sharing a bed a long time ago, when she got “too old” to have sleepovers with boys. Not that it stopped them from having sleepovers, but they switched to putting spare futons on the floor or crashing on each other’s couches instead of in the same bed. Like tonight.

Not that it did much good in keeping them separate tonight.

“Missed you,” he mumbles into her collar.

“Missed you too,” she whispers back. They’ve been together all day since they took him home from the hospital. She’s been at the hospital every day since the accident. But it’s better now that he’s back home.

Kaito takes a shuddering breath. “It doesn’t feel real.”

“Yeah,” she agrees. “It doesn’t.”

“I keep-- I keep thinking each time I wake up that it was just...”

“A nightmare,” she finishes.

“They said I’d probably never walk again. Not-- not without... crutches. Or maybe ever.”

“We can figure this out.” She loosely runs her fingers through his hair. Kaito’s fingers dig into her back. “We can do it.”

“I don’t wanna be like this,” he chokes out.

“I’m sorry.”

Kaito doesn't say anything more. She doesn’t know if she has anything else to say either. Kaito’s breath is quick and hot on her collar and his grip around her is tight, and all she can do is squeeze him back as tightly as she can as well. They stay like that for longer than Aoko cares to bother counting for. She doesn’t ask if Kaito wants her to leave, and he doesn’t ask the same.

He doesn’t actually cry, but she hears little noises hitching in his throat for a long while. They fall asleep like this, locked together. She wakes up and they’re still tangled up.

Notes:

here is where we get a liiittle bit sketchy because there were a lot of varying experiences with recovery times when i was researching and asking around, since no two spine injuries are the same, esp when it comes to incomplete ones

and also im taking a few liberties in general for the sake of storytelling/the timeline i have set up. i mean its anime gotta lean into it a lil bit

Chapter 4: moving in

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Tuesday, July 26th

Kaito is going to be staying with the Nakamoris for a while, but it just makes sense to start fixing up his own house now so things are ready when Kaito goes back. It’s kind of a haul to get everything done at once, so better to start as soon as possible in manageable chunks. The first order of business is moving Kaito’s stuff out of his old room on the second floor, because stairs... aren’t really an option anymore.

The only room on the ground floor with a door besides a small bathroom (that Kaito can no longer get into) is the master bedroom (which thankfully has its own bathroom big enough for a wheelchair). Kaito’s got a lot of weird feelings about taking his mom’s room, but there’s not a way around it unless they install a chair lift, and that’s either gonna be a long ways off or not at all. It just makes the most sense to move.

They don’t actually move any furniture, not yet. Just going one step at a time, so they decide that right now they should tackle moving clothes. Aoko nervously says Kaito doesn’t have to help, but he has to do something or he’s gonna go insane. And it’s his stuff anyway, he can’t just shuffle the work off to everyone else. So he and Ginzou are taking everything out of his mom’s-- his-- his new closet, and Aoko goes upstairs and starts gathering the clothes in his room to bring them down.

It’s not that difficult or time consuming. A good portion of it is gone anyway because it’s abroad with Chikage right now, as she always is. But he can only reach the bottom half of the closet, which is a frustrating new limitation. Ginzou gets the things hanging on the top rack, but Kaito’s really not enjoying the fact that he knows he’s only gonna be able to use half the closet. It’s not like he’s got enough clothes to fill up the whole thing anyway, but seeing the empty space up top that’s not gonna get used anymore is still uncomfortable.

Another new frustrating thing is that he can’t carry anything in his hands anymore. Hands are for pushing the wheels, so he’s limited to what he can put in his lap, and he has to make sure it won’t slip off or he won’t accidentally shove it out of his lap when he leans forward to push himself. And to top it off he has to get around in an awkward rented wheelchair that's already making his shoulders hurt, ‘cause they keep smacking into the high back of the chair when he pushes himself.

Ginzou must see his frustration because he suddenly says in a joking tone, “You’re sure you want Aoko to be the one to go through your room? Nothing you’d be embarrassed about her finding?”

Kaito snorts. “She might hit a booby trap where I keep some emergency cash.” But in truth, he really isn’t worried about Aoko finding something he doesn’t want her to. It’s not like he’s got some kind of porn stash or a secret diary or anything. But when he’s got stuff he doesn’t want to be found, it goes in a locked box of some kind and then gets hidden. Usually under a floorboard. Or in the Kid workshop and then under a floorboard. In fact, he’s so paranoid about that kind of stuff that he doesn’t even think to worry about her finding anything that will tip her off to the fact that he’s Kaitou Kid.

That he... was Kaitou Kid.

That part of his life is over.

More than just that part, honestly.

So much just... isn’t possible anymore.

“Are you thinking about stealing those from your mom?” Ginzou asks.

“Huh?”

“The shirts.”

He looks down, remembering that he’s got a couple of sweaters in his lap, the last pieces of clothing out of the closet. “Oh. No, these can go up too.” He runs a thumb over the ropy knitted patterns going down the front. He doesn’t move to put them in the laundry basket they’ve been using to bring things upstairs.

“Do you want me to take--”

“I’m never gonna walk again, am I.” He’s not sure if he meant to say it out loud or not, but it’s out there now. “I just... never.”

There’s a crushing weight all around him. It’s not like he didn’t realize it before, but it actually feels real right now, in this moment. This is it.

This is his new future.

Kaito looks up to Ginzou, who looks like he’s searching for something to say. “You don’t-- that was just me. Saying stuff.” He squeezes the thick fabric in his hands. “You don’t gotta say anything back.”

He doesn’t wanna cry. Not like he doesn’t wanna cry in front of Ginzou or anything, Ginzou has seen him cry plenty already, that ship has sailed. No, he just feels... he doesn’t know. Like there’s something in his chest he wants to rip out and leave for dead on the floor. He wants to take his wheelchair by the handles and tear it apart. He wants to scream until his throat is raw and bleeding.

Kaito doesn’t do any of that. He stays quiet.

Ginzou finally finds words, saying, “No, probably not,” as he kneels down next to Kaito’s chair. Ginzou is at his level, they’re face to face, which is something Kaito hasn’t really gotten since the accident. “But it’ll be okay.”

Kaito nods.

“...Come here, kid.”

Ginzou hugs him, and Kaito struggles to return it. He appreciates it, he does, the hug is nice. But part of him would rather crawl in a hole and not talk to anyone for the next decade.

He can’t agree that it’ll be okay. But he can say, “Thanks.”

~Tuesday, July 27th

Kaito is given leg braces for physical therapy. They’re nothing fancy, just some thick fabric material that buckles around his knees and ankles with metal rods that connect them. They’re so Kaito has a little bit more stability when he’s shuffling through using the hand rails in physical therapy. He really can’t take steps, like at all, but his therapist says he’s making improvements. Kaito can at least kinda toss a leg forward by twisting his hips, but he can’t really put any weight on them, so he can’t let go of the rails at all.

He knows he’s lucky that the injury was so low on his back, that it’s an incomplete injury, that even if he’s confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life they say he’ll be able to live independently, that he might with enough time and practice be able to walk for short distances with braces and crutches. They tell him that some people can recover most of their feeling and mobility in their legs when it’s an incomplete injury.

It just doesn’t feel lucky when he’s sweating through physical therapy sessions because his legs don’t respond and his arms keep shaking because of the pain in his back, even though he normally would be able to hold himself up on arm strength. It doesn’t feel lucky when he falls while trying to transfer from his wheelchair to the couch and he needs help to get off the floor because he doesn’t have the hang of getting back into the chair by himself. It doesn’t feel lucky when pain in his back wakes him up in the middle of the night. It doesn’t feel lucky that he’s terrified of slipping off his new shower chair. It doesn’t feel lucky that his life is basically over.

...It wasn’t even a hard jump. He just slipped.

~Wednesday, July 28th

The only piece of furniture Kaito really wants from his old room upstairs is his desk. Currently, Chikage’s vanity desk and mirror take up a good portion of the room, but for such a bulky piece of furniture there’s just not enough surface or drawer space for the things he wants to keep there.

Does he feel completely useless because he can’t help move the desks? Yes. He does. But he and Aoko make themselves busy while Ginzou and Jii are hauling furniture. An immediate problem that needs to be fixed is that he can’t reach a whole bunch of stuff in the kitchen anymore.

Aoko is also too short to reach the two uppermost shelves; she has to climb on the counter to pull things out of the cabinets. (He can’t even do that much.) “So... how do we wanna rearrange this?” she asks, when they’ve got most everything pulled out from the top and bottom cabinets both.

“I guess we should sort things by what gets used most.”

“Right. Make plates and pots and stuff the easiest to grab.” She picks up a mug. “Can Aoko put the ugly cups on the top shelf so neither of us has to see them?”

“Yeah, sure.” He picks up a stack of plates, trying to decide if they’ll slip off his lap or not. Ginzou and Jii round the corner as he sets the plates in his lap. “Oh. Do you guys wanna help with this too?”

“That is what I came over for,” Jii says. “What are we doing?”

“Important stuff needs to go in the lower cabinets. We gotta figure out what doesn’t get used so we can put it up top.”

Kaito participates in the discussion, because it is his kitchen, but he’s so tired. He’s not in a fog or anything, just... no energy. It doesn’t help that his back hurts every which way he moves right now. He’s slow and careful to move things around himself, lest they fall out of his lap and shatter on the floor.

By the end of the day the kitchen is properly rearranged, including the fridge and pantry where things have been crammed onto the lower shelves for the most part. It’s another space where the top half just... won’t be used by Kaito ever again. He can only reach so far.

~Thursday, July 29th

Kaito gets a custom wheelchair. He and Aoko have already rearranged the furniture so the new layout for the house has everything pushed up against the walls, giving him room to move and turn around without being cramped. But now they actually know how much space he’s going to be taking up from here on out, and they can make a few more adjustments. The custom chair is compact, not as bulky and awkward as the hospital chair. He actually has full range of his arms now, and he can lean back, and make sharper turns, and-- well. Another bonus that he’s not gonna overlook is the design. It does look sleek, and there’s blue on the back and other metal bits instead of being solid black, so... it doesn’t look like as much of an eyesore as the other chair. It doesn’t look like he’s fresh out of the hospital anymore.

“It does look really cool!” Keiko says as she sits down on the couch, settling herself into the corner and curling up as small as possible with her sketchbook in her lap. “I didn’t know wheelchairs could come in different colors like that.”

“Maybe we could paint it more.” Aoko looks up from her spot on the floor. She closes the cabinet the TV is resting on, some movie Kaito can’t see the cover of in her hand. “Like spray paint. It’s still a lot of plain black, you know? Kinda boring.”

“We would have to rough up the surface first,” Keiko points out. She flips open her sketchbook. “Spray paint won’t stick to this metal.”

“Ooh wait, washi tape!” Aoko jumps up. “And that would be easy to take off if you hate it!”

“Maybe. Hang on.” He doesn’t have any arm rests on this chair, which is really nice because it doesn’t get in the way while he’s pushing himself, and he doesn’t have to move them out of the way to transfer seats. He gets his feet on the floor, a hand on the chair and the other on the couch. He hauls himself up to move over, and-- “Dammit!”

“You okay?” Keiko asks worriedly.

“Yeah. My pants just slipped down again.” He grabs the back of his sweatpants and yanks them up. “Kinda hoped that a custom chair would stop that from happening.”

“Aoko’s not sure your chair is the problem with that.”

“The worst. Pants are, in fact, the worst. Never realized that until now. It takes so long to get in and out of them, and they never stay up.”

“Just wear a skirt high on your waist.” Aoko turns on the TV. “Or Aoko can help you sew up your pants or something.”

Wait. “Skirts.” Of course. “Why didn’t I think of that.”

“‘Cause you’re a dumbass.”

He is, yeah. It’s been hard to think about... changes. Simple solutions like that don’t always occur to him right now. His head is too much of a mess for it.

~Friday, July 30th

Kaito can’t navigate the bathroom by himself for a good while after coming home, which has been frustrating beyond belief. He doesn’t actually need help using the toilet or anything, but transferring seats is a struggle that he’s still working on overcoming.

Ginzou is the one who helps him get to the toilet or the shower chair when Kaito is afraid of slipping and falling. And yeah, it’s awkward, but everything about this situation is awkward. He even has to use a catheter. At least he can deal with that by himself. But Ginzou has never made anything more weird than it needs to be. He just helps without making a big deal of it. It’s nice.

And now, Ginzou is looking into how to install handlebars to the walls to give Kaito a good place to grip and be able to get around in the bathroom by himself more securely even after he gets to a place where he doesn’t need help. Kaito assumes he’d only planned to put them in Kaito’s bathroom, but Ginzou installs grab handles in the bathroom of his own house too, the one he and Aoko both use.

“You’re over here too much for me to not do this,” Ginzou says. “Just saving us some pain down the road.”

“Oh. Yeah, okay. Yeah.”

Ginzou just helps without making a big deal of it. It’s nice.

~Saturday, July 31st

With the house renovated and rearranged as best as they can think of for the moment, Kaito figures it’s time to go back to sleeping in his own house. In his new room. He’d prefer to do that before Chikage comes back so he can at least claim the room as his.

Wow, he hates this so much more than he thought he would. He’s brought back the backpack full of clothes and other things that Aoko brought over to her house when he was first released from the hospital. So he’s putting those clothes in the closet while Aoko dumps his toothbrush and comb in the master bathroom-- his bathroom now, ugh, it’s still so weird.

“You’ve been staring at a wall for a while.” Aoko circles around to stand in front of him. “You good?”

“Yeah, I just... sleeping in my mom’s room feels...” Kaito makes a few half hearted gestures. “You know?”

“Well...” Aoko shuffles her feet. “Would it help if Aoko slept in your bed...?”

“Oh.” He didn’t think about if she was gonna stay the night or not, but some part of him assumed that wouldn’t be happening anymore since he’s going back to sleeping at his own house, and he won’t be stealing Aoko’s bed anymore. But that would make things a lot easier. Less... daunting. “Yeah, that’d probably help a lot.”

Unlike Aoko’s room, the bed in Chikage’s-- his room is actually meant to fit two people. Plenty of room for both of them, but they end up hauling a bunch of pillows and sheets from the hall closet to the middle of the bed and pile themselves in it. There’s not much talking before they go to bed. Aoko helps him with his stretches, he takes his medication, and they go to sleep.

And before he knows it, he wakes up, heart hammering in his chest and breathing heavily.

Kaito isn’t entirely sure what the nightmare was. He remembers falling, sure, but it-- his dad’s face, as he fell, dressed in black. Had Kaitou Corbeau pushed--? No. No, he’s not gonna think about it.

Aoko, tucked under his arm, makes a similar noise a cat makes when forcibly woken up. “Kaito...? You yelled.”

He didn’t even realize. “Nightmare.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

He takes a shaky breath and runs a hand over his face. “I don’t wanna remember it.”

“You want anything else?”

“No. No, just. Wanna go back to sleep.”

“Mmkay.” She snuggles closer to him, pulling a sheet up over them both and puts an arm around him. “Aoko can chase away the nightmares,” she mumbles, sounding like she’s still half asleep. Kaito doubts she’ll remember this in the morning. He hopes he doesn’t remember either.

Notes:

out of all the unrealistic stuff im going to put in this fic, the MOST unrealistic thing is how fast kaito gets a custom wheelchair.

also chikage will come back soon dont worry (read: worry)

Chapter 5: bite your tongue

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Sunday, August 1st

It’s supposed to hurt a little bit, he reminds himself. Physical therapy in the rehab center is grueling work, and his “homework” that he’s supposed to do on the off days when he isn’t at the center isn’t as bad-- but it’s still supposed to hurt some. He’s finally been able to take a few proper steps with crutches. If he wants to be able to walk more than that, he has to keep working. His doctor said that in a year he might be able to use crutches for a whole day--but nothing is certain. Incomplete paraplegia can improve somewhat in the first couple of years, but after that it’s not likely that he’ll regain any more feeling. So, he has to get as much work done as possible now, while he still can.

Kaito is good at that. He worked hard on his acrobatics, and stunts, and--

He’s going to work hard, no matter what. But it still doesn’t guarantee walking unassisted.

So, he’s sitting on the couch. Aoko is helping him stretch his legs, because it’s hard to do by himself. His physical therapist said it would be better if someone helps him for a while-- and he’s willing to listen to anything for a better recovery outcome, even if it’s kind of awkward to have her grabbing his shin to help him bring his knee up to his chest. He just bites his tongue and deals with it.

It normally hurts a little bit, since he can feel some of his legs-- but God, right now his hip is on fire (and it’s so weird only being able to feel one hip) and he’s having a hell of a time keeping that in check right now. His whole body is tense, which probably isn’t helping this situation any, but they’re almost finished. Best to stick it out till it’s done since he’s already gotten this far. Then he can relax. He can't let a little pain slow him down.

“Okay, other leg,” Aoko says. “Ready?”

“Yeah,” he says-- or he tries to say it, because as soon as he opens his mouth, blood trickles out.

“Kaito!” she shrieks. “You’re bleeding!”

Well yes that’s obvious, but why-- oh, right. “I bit my tongue.” Eugh, okay, now he can taste the copper filling his mouth. That’s uh, not great. “M’fine.” He tries to keep his hand over his mouth to prevent it from dribbling down, but there’s already a lot on his chin.

“That’s a lot of blood for just biting your tongue!”

“Tongues bleed a lot,” he says, garbled around a mouthful of blood. He swallows it down-- which super makes him gag, but it’s better than letting it drip down and stain the couch or the floor.

“Don’t swallow it!”

“Th’ floor--”

“Stop! Aoko will grab a cup!” Aoko says as she runs out of the room.

This combined with the pain in his hip is kind of making him feel sick. He didn’t even realize he was bleeding, what the hell. He was clenching his jaw pretty hard though, so he supposes it’s not actually too surprising that he’s bleeding so much.

Aoko is back in no time at all. Kaito takes the plastic cup and spits into it. Kind of disgusting, but Aoko hands him a wad of paper towels too-- she really does think of everything.

“Oh jeez,” she frets. “This is still a lot of blood... are you sure you just bit your tongue?” 

“I, uh--” He spits into the cup again-- too hard to talk. “S’a lot ‘cause I... bit it a lil’ bit on purpose,” he admits.

“Eh? Why were you biting your tongue?!”

Kaito winces. “The exercises were a bit... too much.”

Aoko looks confused-- then, furious. “Bakaito!” she shouts. “Just say so!”

Yeah that would be nice probably, if it weren’t so damn mortifying to admit that he’s having a hard time. And he knows it sounds completely insane, but what is he supposed to do about it? He’s used to dealing with everything on his own. He’d really prefer to keep it that way.

But he can’t keep it that way anymore. He’s crippled.

He doesn’t wanna be crippled though-- and maybe if he ignores it and keeps working hard then he’ll be fine soon, and won’t need this help anymore?

Ugh, he sounds stupid even to himself. “I...” He’s gonna have to change things up if he’s gonna survive this long enough to get better. Aoko doesn’t deserve him doing stupid stuff like biting his tongue until it bleeds just to save face. “I’ll try.”

Trying-- even just trying, that’s gonna be hard, huh. He’s so used to automatically putting up a poker face around everyone, even Aoko.

Even now, he feels uncomfortable just from admitting he was in pain.

Aoko still looks like she wants to strangle him. “Since when does Bakaito try? Just do it!” Her shoulders sag, the anger leaving her body. She sinks back on the couch. “Aoko can take it. Promise.”

Wait no he didn’t mean to make her upset--

Dammit. Well if that isn't an incentive to drop his poker face around her more often, he doesn’t know what is.

If he opens his mouth he knows he’s gonna say something dumb. He just nods. 

“Well, we’re obviously not gonna do anymore of your exercises today,” Aoko huffs at him. “But we were almost done anyway.”

“Mhm.”

“Do you need anything right now?”

“Uh-- ice? Tongue.”

“Got it. Aoko will be right back.”

She comes back with another cup, this one filled halfway with ice cubes. Kaito immediately pops one into his mouth. It doesn’t stop the bleeding, but wow that feels better.

“...Bakaito,” Aoko says again for good measure, but the bite in her voice is gone.

“Yeah, I know,” Kaito mumbles. “I--” Eugh. He has to spit in the cup again. Might as well dump the ice cube in there as well since he’s got something to say. “Sorry for making you worry.” Maybe he can focus on that, the next time he’s embarrassed about asking for help. How worried and disappointed Aoko is gonna be that he’s hiding things. And it’s not like he can keep hiding things, not when he can’t walk. “And that you’ve gotta help me with all this stuff.”

“Aoko doesn’t mind. But your mom’s coming back tomorrow, right? She’ll be here to help you now too.”

“Oh.” Honestly, he wonders if she’ll actually show up or not. “I guess so.”

“It’ll be nice to see her again! It’s been a while.”

“Yeah, it has been a while.”

Been a long while.

Notes:

this is one of the weaker chapter imo re:concept and accuracy, but it does serve as a vessel for a few important things so i couldnt just take it out

chikage next time :)

Chapter 6: coming home redux

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Saturday, July 24th

“Did Kaito-kun tell you he’s getting released from the hospital tomorrow?” Jii says over the phone.

“Ah, he didn’t!” Chikage exclaims. She actually hasn’t gotten a call from Kaito yet, which seems a bit odd, but she hasn’t given it much thought. He’s probably dealing with a lot, she isn’t that surprised that he’s being quiet right now. “Well, speaking of, I finally got a flight! Just a week and I’ll be home. Later than I would have liked, but you know how work is.”

Jii chuckles. “Yes, I suppose I do. It will be nice when you finally come back. But don’t worry, Kaito-bocchama is in good hands until then.”

“Oh, I know he is,” she agrees. “I’ll be home before you even know it.”

~Monday, August 2nd

Chikage calls for a cab from the airport. She usually chats up drivers to pass the time, but she’s quiet now. She has a lot to think about. She knows she should have come home a bit earlier, but there were too many loose ends she would leave untied if she suddenly packed up and left. Best to get it done all at once so she wouldn’t have to come back to Vegas again later. She’d cancelled a scheduled show and wrapped all that up a while back-- her new sort of boyfriend helped quite a bit. But there were some... other things... that would have been dangerous to drop without warning. She isn’t sure when she’s going to go back to Las Vegas this time, and even a small amount of time could have proven detrimental.

She thanks and pays the cab driver, and finally walks up to her house.

Coming home instantly feels off. The first thing she notices is the ramp sitting over the steps leading up to the door, as well as a ramp in the genkan, which fits a bit awkwardly. The next after she walks into the house is that the furniture has been rearranged. She leaves her shoes and coat with her suitcases at the door and silently wanders into the living room to find that everything still in the room has been pushed against a wall, and a few things have been removed entirely. Going to the stairs reveals a missing side table that’s almost out of sight on the second floor, so maybe the rest of the missing furniture has been moved up there as well.

“Kaito?” she calls up.

“In my room.” But his voice isn’t coming from upstairs, it’s coming from her bedroom.

“Did you steal my room? Aah, and you didn’t even ask mommy first,” she whines playfully as she steps in the doorway.

Kaito is sitting at a desk, his desk, which she recognizes from his room. Her bed is still there, but this room has been rearranged too. He doesn’t look up at her, busy tinkering with his card gun. “Well yeah, I can’t really use the stairs anymore.”

Chikage isn’t sure why she realized her room had been changed before she realized that Kaito isn’t sitting at a desk chair. It’s a wheelchair.

“Your stuff’s in my old room.” She can’t bring herself to respond, at first. Kaito finally looks up. “What, you’re not gonna say anything till you get a welcome home hug? Aah, fine.” He wheels himself away from the desk, then holds out his arms halfheartedly for a hug.

He doesn’t stand up.

She’s stunned for a moment. She knew, of course she knew, Jii told her what happened. He kept her updated, he said Kaito had an incomplete injury and still had some feeling in his legs. She knew he was in a wheelchair.

She hadn’t actually prepared herself to see Kaito in a wheelchair.

Chikage moves forward, leans down, to hug Kaito.

“Sorry I couldn’t come home earlier.” She squeezes him tightly, and Kaito puts his arms around her as well. “How are you doing?”

“I’m... fine, I guess.”

Chikage pulls away, looking him in the eye with worry. “You don’t have to lie to me, sweetie.”

Kaito snorts. It looks like he’s trying to brush it off with a laugh, but his poker face needs work. He seems so tired. “I’m dealing as well as I can.”

“I know you are. I know.”

“You--” Kaito starts. “Have you eaten dinner yet? There’s leftovers in the fridge.” It’s obviously not what he was originally going to say, but Chikage won’t comment on it.

“I grabbed food at the airport, but thank you.” She kisses his forehead. “I heard what happened from Jii-san, but he didn’t really tell me everything. Do you wanna tell me the whole story?”

Kaito tenses up, subtle, but not subtle enough for her to overlook. “There’s... not much else to tell. I was jumping over a roof, I landed on something that looked stable, but it crumbled and I slipped off. Tried to pop open the glider, but the fall was too short. I fell on top of it, that’s what broke my spine.”

The glider. Oh, no.

“Honestly, if I hadn’t gone for the glider and just tried to land on my feet, I’d... maybe I’d just have broken legs instead of a broken spine,” he says, bitterness dripping off his words.

“I’m sorry, sweetie.”

“Mh.”

Chikage sighs. She isn’t going to get anything out of Kaito right now. “It’s kind of late, we should both turn in soon. We can talk in the morning when we’re both more awake.” She needs to get acquainted with sleeping in Kaito’s old room, she supposes. She hadn’t even thought about the stairs being a problem. “Is there anything you need from me before then?”

“No.” He pushes himself back up to his desk and adds “Thanks,” as an afterthought.

Poor Kaito. This will take a lot of adjusting.

~Tuesday, August 3rd

Chikage has always been an exceptionally light sleeper, but it’s tenfold now when she’s sleeping in an unfamiliar room. She’s woken up in the middle of the night by the sound of plastic somethings clattering, probably cups, on the kitchen tile downstairs, and she knows she won’t be able to go back to sleep for a little while. The clock says it’s just past two in the morning. She waits a little while, long enough for Kaito to have gone back to his room to sleep, before silently going down the stairs to get herself a glass of water. But before she gets a cup out of the cabinet, she hears quiet talking.

She closes the cabinet and creeps towards the closed door of her-- no, Kaito’s bedroom now. She only just catches the tail end of what he says as she presses her ear against the door.

“...without the impact,” Kaito says, louder than she assumed he was talking when she was hearing it from the other room. “I don’t really care at this point, I just wanna get a good night’s sleep.”

There’s a quiet noise of someone talking on the phone, but Chikage can’t make it out. Aoko? She can’t think of anyone else he would call so late at night, especially if it’s because he can’t sleep.

“Sure. You can serenade me from below my window like I’m Juliet.” Kaito snorts after a moment of letting Aoko talk. “So what I’m hearing is you’re a coward,” he says through a fit of quiet laughter. “I am feeling better. Promise. You don’t have to come over.”

It’s nice those two have each other, Chikage thinks with a smile. Aoko has always been good for Kaito.

She silently goes back up the stairs, water forgotten.

Notes:

fun fact 1: the chapter titles are actually just the shorthands i jotted at the tops of pages for different scenes. hence why this one is just. redux. i couldnt be assed to make poetic titles like usually do for multichap fics

fun fact 2: this is the first and only chapter from chikages pov because getting inside her head is a fucking nightmare! :D

fun fact 3: if you havent been paying attention to the dates, it might be something to poke at if youre ever unsure of something because there actually will be patches of nonlinear storytelling scattered around the fic

Chapter 7: breakfast

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Tuesday, August 3rd

Aoko’s been with Kaito so often these days. In fact, Kaito is pretty sure they’ve spent way more consecutive time together than they ever have in their lives. Maybe that’s why, waking up in the middle of the night and seeing an empty space next to him-- he kinda freaks out.

Or maybe he’s freaking out because of the hazy memories of a dream coming back to him. A familiar scene of him and Aoko on the roof of her house. They’re twelve, they’re definitely not supposed to be up there, but the tree in her backyard has a branch that leads right to the roof and it’s too tempting not to climb it.

In reality, Aoko fell while trying to climb back down and twisted her ankle. In the warped memory his dream conjured up, Kaito reaches for her as she falls and misses. He leans over the edge of the roof, and the fall is so much higher than it should be for a one story house, and all he can see is the cold pavement below her that he nearly died on, that she could have also--

He’s ignoring it. It was just a messed up dream. Kaito is the one who broke his back, Aoko is fine! He’s not freaking out. She’s fine. She’s in bed at her own house. These are the completely reasonable and correct facts.

Kaito would love it if his brain would catch up to that and stop supplying him with images of Aoko’s head cracked open on the pavement. He’s gonna get a drink. Hopefully moving around can get his mind off of this whole thing, no matter how much of a pain it is to get into his wheelchair. Maybe dealing with that mess will make him forget about it.

But of course, he cant have nice things, and getting a drink of water goes just about as well as the rest of this night has been. His brain is only halfway here because he’s tired and still can’t get his mind off of the nightmare, and drops a stack of plastic cups all across the floor when he’s trying to pull the top one off the pile.

Great. Wonderful. Just... absolute perfection.

He has to brace a hand on one wheel of his chair to lean over the other side and pick up the cups one by one. A single upside is that he’s still alone. Chikage didn’t wake up, or at least doesn’t come down to check on him. He chucks the cups in the sink, not bothering to actually put anything away, gets a drink of water, and gets back in bed.

He doesn’t, however, go back to sleep. He has his nightmare on a loop.

She’s okay. Aoko is okay. She isn’t hurt. She’s...

He’ll call her. Just in case. Just to convince his brain that there’s nothing to worry about.

It doesn’t take her long to answer, though she sounds groggy over the phone. “Kaito, what’s wrong?”

He could lie. “I had a nightmare.” Truth so far, told with a shaky voice. “About falling.” Still truth. Just... he wasn’t the one who fell.

“Oh no... Aoko’s sorry.” She sounds a little more awake, but still out of it. “It’s over now, though. You don’t gotta experience it again.”

“I--” he stumbles over the pronoun. “Didn’t hit the ground, actually.” No, he didn’t actually see it in his dream. His fully awake mind conjured up the image of a pool of blood growing around her lifeless body, because his brain hates him. “Just... falling.”

“Well... that’s at least a little better, right?” Aoko asks.

“Maybe? M’not sure if it’s worse when-- with or without the impact.” He rubs a hand over his eyes, like he can scrub away the thoughts and images if he tries hard enough. “I don’t really care at this point, I just wanna get a good night’s sleep.”

“Do you want Aoko to come over?”

“Sure, you can serenade me from below my window like I’m Juliet.”

“Aoko isn’t gonna climb through your window!”

Kaito snorts. “So what I’m hearing is that you’re a coward.”

“Aoko has a key, you know.” Kaito can practically see her pouting on the other end of the line. “And she was serious, she’ll come over if you need it. Are you sure you don’t need her?”

“I am feeling better, promise. You don’t have to come over.”

“Do you want Aoko to stay on the phone for a bit, though...?”

“Yeah. That’d be nice.” Just this is enough-- this time, at least. “Thanks.”

~

Kaito is tired in the morning, and he almost forgot Chikage had come back. He thought Aoko was in the kitchen when he smelled breakfast, but it was just Chikage. Sitting down for breakfast with her is... he’s not sure how to describe it. It’s always jarring when she comes back out of the blue. She said she was coming back, sure, but it’s strange to actually see her.

“Alright.” Chikage puts a plate with eggs, sausage, and toast in front of Kaito, and points at the pill containers on the kitchen table in front of him. “Tell me what each of these are for.”

“Uh.” Kaito stops mid-motion of popping the pills in his mouth. He opens his hand to show her. “Anti-inflammatory thing, painkiller, and um. This one is to help with... bladder control.” God, he doesn’t want to be talking about this with his mom . But she does need to know this kind of stuff.  “I’m still doing a trial period for these. The doctor will give you more details than I can next visit.”

Chikage picks up the container to read it as Kaito downs the pills. “It’s been two weeks, right? Do you know how much longer you’re supposed to be on painkillers?”

“...Don’t know.” He doesn’t want to talk about this. “I’ve got pretty bad phantom pain in my legs. Apparently it’s pretty common after getting injured. The doctor talked about putting me on stronger steroids for a bit.”

“Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry. It always hurts?”

“It comes and goes.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

“No. Just happens.”

~Wednesday, August 4th

“I’m glad Aoko came over for breakfast,” Chikage says as she comes up to the sink next to Kaito. “Don’t want her eating all alone when Nakamori-keibu isn’t home.”

Kaito. Doesn’t react to that. Does she even hear herself? Holy shit. He just focuses on rolling up his sleeves and washing dishes, awkwardly reaching his arms over to the sink, since his shoulder only barely clears the counter. “She’s staying the night too,” Kaito says, forcing the bitterness out of his voice. He just wants to get that out of the way, so she doesn’t ask why Aoko is here again right after she went home. He just-- it feels like he’s gonna be up half the night again if he’s all by himself. “She just went back to grab some clothes.” Hers, but also a couple of shirts Kaito left in her room a while back.

“Oh?” Chikage gives him a smug look. “You two are having sleepovers again?”

“Yep.” He isn’t gonna give her any more fuel than that.

“Awh, that’s so cute. I’m glad you’re still so close after all this time.” She still has that smirk in her eye, keeps glancing at Kaito like she’s in on some secret he’s trying to hide from her.

She takes the stack of plates that he finished drying and leaves his line of sight. Except, he realizes that she’s headed the wrong direction, so he turns around to check where she’s putting the plates, and sure enough. “Hey, hey! Don’t put those up there!”

“This is where they go, isn’t it?” Chikage pauses halfway through stacking the newly clean plates in the overhead cabinet, then pulls back. “Oh, right, I did notice that you rearranged some things while I was gone. Where do they go now, then?”

“Down there,” Kaito jabs a thumb at a lower cabinet next to the fridge.

Chikage glances at where he’s pointing, then looks back at him with a raised eyebrow. “You rearranged the kitchen and put the plates practically on the floor?”

“We rearranged the kitchen so I can reach everything,” he says pointedly, and gestures again. “Plates go down there now.”

“Ahh, that makes sense.” She doesn’t hesitate, smoothly shifting gears to put them in the specified cabinet. “Ohp, here’s the rest of the plates. I wondered why only the decorative things were up there!” she chatters while she puts things away. “Does everything go in the lower cabinets now?”

“Most stuff. I can sorta reach the bottom shelf of the upper cabinets, but nothing breakable goes there just in case.” Chikage can figure it out, he’s not gonna detail everything for her. Not unless she tries to put things up high where he can’t reach it.

“Hmm. I’ll have to learn where everything is now!”

She’s gonna have to learn a lot. It was only two weeks, but it was still a lot. Kaito is too tired to explain it to her.

~Thursday, August 5th

Aoko wakes up before Kaito does, as usual. She wiggles out from under his arm to check her phone and sees that it’s about an hour before Kaito’s alarm goes off. Kaito shifts as she leaves the bed, rolling towards the empty space she left. 

She watches Kaito for a moment as he breathes deeply, his face pressed into the pillow that his hands are tucked under. No tension in his body, no poorly hidden emotions that he doesn’t want anyone else to see, no tight expressions because he’s in pain.

It’s not fair that his legs keep hurting. It’s just supposed to be numb, right? Still feeling pain isn’t fair.

She lays back down on the bed for a moment, just on the edge, face to face with Kaito. He really is nice to look at when he’s sleeping. It’s calming, just like it always is when they share a bed. She’s so close to him. And if she leans forward, she could...

A half second later she realizes what she’s doing, and nearly falls off the bed trying to scramble away. Yeah, okay, they’ve been sharing a bed for a while, but she shouldn’t try and make it weird. It’s not anything romantic. They super do not need that kind of drama right now when Kaito needs her support.

She slaps her cheeks to get herself out of it, and then digs around the closet for some clothes that’ll fit her. She’s not sure who the shirt belongs to, but she thinks the skirt is actually one that Kaito bought. She changes out of her pajamas right there, not bothering to go to the bathroom and close the door. It’s not like they haven’t seen each other in their underwear before, and besides, Kaito is asleep anyway.

She really really needs to stop looking too deep into this.

She goes to the bathroom to get a hair tie and puts it up in a ponytail before she walks out of Kaito’s bedroom and into the kitchen. She pokes around the fridge to see what they’ve got, but then she startles when Chikage walks into the kitchen. “Good morning, Aoko-chan!”

“Oh! Good morning, Obachan.” Aoko kind of forgot Chikage was here. She’s used to always being the first one awake. “Aoko was just looking for something to make for breakfast. Do you want some?”

“Awh, you’re such a sweetheart, you don’t have to make anything! You’re a guest!”

Aoko feels some kind of way about being called a guest in Kaito’s house after all this time, but she doesn’t know how to word it before Chikage continues talking. “I was about to come in and make breakfast for everyone, you know.”

“We can cook together?” Aoko suggests.

Chikage claps her hands together. “That would be lovely! How about you start some rice for me, then?”

Aoko starts washing rice while Chikage pulls various things from the fridge. Aoko drains the rice to put it in the cooker and Chikage comes to the sink to wash vegetables. “I saw you two asleep together this morning.” She gives Aoko a Knowing look. “It’s about time, honestly.”

“N... no.” Aoko’s cheeks burn. She didn’t even think about closing the door last night, it’s too hot to keep it closed right now. “It’s not like that.”

“Oh, honey, you can tell me anything, you know? I'm happy for you two! Shame on Kaito for not telling me himself, though.”

“Oba--”

“Are you two being safe?”

Aoko chokes on her tongue before she snaps, “Obachan, stop . We’re not like that.” She wishes, yeah, but that would make everything messy right now. And honestly, this is good enough. Even if she never gets to kiss Kaito, if it just stays like this, she would be happy. She hopes Kaito would be happy too.

Chikage blinks in surprise. “You’re really not?”

“We’re not . We used to sleep in the same bed all the time, now we’re doing it again. That’s all this is.”

“Yes, well, you two aren’t ten anymore. It is a bit odd.”

She punches the buttons on the cooker a bit more forcefully than necessary. “Aoko doesn’t care.”

“I’m just saying, it’s easy for people to make assumptions.”

Aoko doesn’t care .” She snaps. “Who’s gonna know, anyway? Only you and Dad see us. Not even Keiko knows.”

“Hm.” Chikage turns off the tap. “And your dad is alright with it?”

“Yes.” Her dad hasn’t objected to anything, and she would have kicked his ass if he did. Kaito needs her right now. And, frankly, she needs him too. Sleeping together helps them both with their nightmares, but that’s really just the tip of the iceberg. Waking up and making sure he’s still there. Knowing he’s okay because he’s next to her instead of wondering if he’s hurting while he’s by himself.

“Alright, then. Guess I can’t argue.”

“Damn right you can’t.”

“Aah, I missed your little spitfire personality! You’re so cute.”

She’s not entirely sure how to respond to that. “What else do you need help with?”

“Well, if you could start chopping these...”

Notes:

LET THE PINING BEGIN

Chapter 8: better

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Friday, August 6th

It’s not as bad as it could have been, Aoko reminds herself. But knowing it logically doesn’t make it much better.

She’s seen Kaito in physical therapy sometimes, since she wants to know how to help him. Sometimes he practices walking. Well... walking as best as he can manage now.

Kaito keeps himself upright on handrails, struggling to shuffle his legs forward, only moving his feet inches at a time because he can’t lift his foot completely off the ground, only get his heels up a little bit.

He’s exhausted after physical therapy, even if he tries to hide it. Aoko won’t mention it. She’ll just stay by him, behind him, in case he falls.

~

“How are you doing?” 

“Well enough.” Chikage takes the mug from Ginzou’s hand. “The doctor’s visit yesterday went fairly smooth.”

“Good. Kaito has been skittish about them-- not that I blame the kid for it.” Ginzou sits down next to her on the couch, his own coffee mug in hand. “But I’m asking about you.”

Chikage hums, wrapping both hands around the mug instead of holding it by the handle. “It’s... a lot.”

“A lot is an understatement.”

“I’m managing. I should be asking how you are; you were by yourself with all this because I couldn’t get back right away...”

Ginzou gives a heavy sigh. “It was rough. It’s still rough. But it’s getting better.”

“It is,” she agrees. She finally takes a sip of her coffee.

“I’d say an upside to this is that it’ll keep the two of them out of trouble, but I’m sure once Kaito-kun... well, once we all get used to this, I’m gonna have to start bailing them out of whatever bullshit they get into again.”

“I doubt they’ll be quite as sneaky when he’s in a wheelchair. You probably won’t have much to worry about.”

“Don’t jinx it.”

“Me? Jinx something? Never,” she smirks. “Besides, you’re the one who neglects giving them write ups for their misconduct. Shame on you, teaching them that they can get away with breaking the law just because you’re a cop.”

Ginzou scoffs. “I’m not the one encouraging them to break into private property in the first place.”

“Oh well.” Chikage waves her hand around flippantly. “We did always say that you’re better at this than I am.”

Notes:

i was gonna put a comment that this is the shortest chapter in the story, but i just double checked and its actually not, so. my comment instead will be that this is the chapter i used to test the formatting of words + pictures to make sure it looked decent on both desktop and mobile

Chapter 9: sewing

Notes:

THIS IS YOUR REMINDER THAT THERE IS ART IN EVERY CHAPTER OF THIS FIC.

THIS CHAPTER IS 100% COMIC.

IF YOUR IMAGES ARE TURNED OFF FOR WHATEVER REASON, YOU WILL BE MISSING OUT ON ILLUSTRATIONS, AND THIS CHAPTER WILL LOOK BLANK. IT IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE BLANK.

PSA DONE

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

~Saturday, August 7th

[PAGE 1]

[PAGE 2]

[PAGE 3]

[PAGE 4]

[PAGE 5]

Notes:

first comic chapter!! 6 pages is about average length for these so they are kinda "short" but im not one to pad word count/pages for the sake of just adding length.

Chapter 10: slip

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Sunday, August 8th

Kaito wakes up, again, to the image of Kaitou Corbeau burned into his eyes. His father’s face peeling back to reveal Chikage’s, dressed in black with her arms outstretched, smiling sweetly. His hands are shaking when he props himself up and grabs the clothes on his bedside table that he set out for himself the night before.

To top it all off though, after he gets dressed he completely wipes out when transferring into his wheelchair.

He lays there on his side for a moment, eyes closed, focusing on his breathing, mostly to calm down so he doesn’t get angry at himself. In for five, out for five. Don’t think about it too hard. Falling happens. People trip and fall all the time. This isn’t any different. He tripped-- slipped-- and he'll get up and move on.

He’s slipped and fallen plenty of times since he came back from the hospital, and he’s gotten better at picking himself up when it happens. Better, even if he’s not great at it. He can at least do it, even if it takes some time.

He opens his eyes to see where his wheelchair went. It’s not too far away, but it did tip over, and it’s well out of reach. He’s gonna have to drag himself across the floor to get there. He Doesn’t think about it. He tripped, he’ll scoot over, and get back up-- even if it’ll take him upwards of a whole minute just to get off the floor--

He’s so tired.

In for five, out for five. He sits up. He didn’t actually think there was an external cause for slipping, but now he sees the culprit: a stray sock that’s still caught underneath his heel. He doesn’t know if that’s better or worse than just tripping over his own feet.

“Kaito?” Chikage silently appears in his doorway, and he’s pretty sure she saw him startle. He needs to remember to close the door when he goes to bed tonight. “I heard you fall.”

“Slipped on a sock, it’s fine.” He grabs said sock and tosses it behind him into the laundry bin without looking to see if it made it in. “Not hurt.” 

“Hang on sweetie, I’ll help you up.” She walks closer and bends down to pick him up, arms outstretched-- smiling sweetly--

“It’s fine!”

Chikage freezes.

Kaito keeps his expression casual. “I need to practice getting back into my chair by myself, since I won’t always have someone to help me.”

She brings her arms back. “Are you sure?”

“Yep. Don’t worry.”

“Alright.” She stands back up. “I’m gonna go make breakfast.”

“Oh, cool. I’ll be there in a minute.” Or two. Or five. He waits until Chikage is gone and his heart rate goes down to actually start shuffling over to his chair.

Arm strength isn’t the issue, so having to move himself across the floor or get in his chair isn’t exactly strenuous, but his body is... awkward to maneuver. Awkward. Him. Kaito. Awkward. He never thought that’s the kind of word he would use for himself, not physically. His body is-- was-- a perfectly tuned instrument.

But here he is, awkwardly shuffling to his chair and righting it again. He scoots as close to the chair as he can, his back against the footrest. He lifts himself so he's sitting on the footrest directly. From there he gets his arms behind himself and then up, putting his hands on the edge of his seat, and pushes himself up and into the seat.

His physical therapist taught him to transfer with a fist on the ground and the other hand on his chair, but it’s uncomfortable, it looks weird, and... looks weird. This is at least a little bit better, and it’s not like it winds him or anything. He’s got strong arms. He pulls his feet onto the footrest, makes sure they won’t slip, then readjusts himself in his seat.

It takes forever. Everything takes forever now.

The afternoon isn’t that much better. Everything is wrong. He can’t do anything the same as he used to. Cooking for himself is annoying when he has to reach to see what’s in his pots and pans. He can barely reach the top of the dove coop, not to mention he can’t even see the top to count all his doves unless he backs up, which is annoying to do on grass.

It makes his skin crawl when he can’t complete a normal task, he wants to tear his hair out when he wakes up and his back is on fire, he wants to scream when his legs hurt and it messes up all his plans for the day.

His usual outlet for distracting himself was... running. Or handstands, or flipping around, or just in general using his body to burn off steam, then he could sit down and do some mindless tricks or tinkering until he felt better.

What he wouldn’t give just to be able to fucking stand.

But he can’t and he has to improvise, which isn’t great. But he can adapt, or at least he’s always been able to adapt in the past, so he should be able to adapt now. He can’t use his legs, but he can burn off steam with his arms, or doing core exercises. Exercise of any kind is good, and putting more muscle on will make it easier to push his wheelchair around anyway.

The first thing that comes to mind is pushups, and he kinda wants to just ram his head into the nearest wall as soon as he remembers he can’t do that anymore.

Stop. He’s gotta focus on what he can do. His physical therapist gave him lists of stuff to work on, even. Lifting weights. Simple. There’s a lot of exercises that can be done with hand weights. There’s also other endurance training, like moving his arms in circles, even if he looks like an idiot while doing it. Technically, pushing himself around in a wheelchair is an exercise. He could go up hills or just try for speed. Maybe pull-ups-- no, can’t do that one. He crosses it off his mental list before he gets angry about another thing he’s incapable of.

He can do weights.

He’ll just... try and focus on what he’s still capable of doing for now.

Notes:

Do You Have Any Idea How Many Videos I Watched Of People Getting In And Out Of Wheelchairs To See Different Ways To Do It--

both of my friends who use chairs are ambulatory and they dont need to transfer, they can stand up without an issue, so its not something i was familiar with until researching for this fic

also, tiny circles with your arms? hell. fucken hate those.

Chapter 11: painting

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Monday, August 9th

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Notes:

the doves are extremely important and i am at all times concerned about their well being and if theyre being taken care of when kaito is out of the house

Chapter 12: first episode

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Tuesday, August 10th

Kaito has his first major excursion outside the house since the accident-- barring doctor visits and going to physical therapy. Aoko says they should go to the park that’s just outside their neighborhood, and Kaito isn’t gonna object to leaving the house for a while. Or the whole day. Being by himself (Aoko doesn’t count) will be nice.

“I’ve been working on wheelies.” Kaito demonstrates, popping his casters off the ground and continuing to wheel himself forward as they go down the sidewalk. “Balancing isn’t too hard, but practicing on like... not-flat ground is probably a good thing to do.” He drops himself down again. “Trying this out on grass will be fun.”

“You’ve got grass in your backyard,” Aoko points out.

“I’ve also got a flock of doves demanding my attention if I’m in the backyard. I can’t just ignore them if I’m out there!”

“Right, right,” she giggles. “Aoko supposes she can’t argue with that.”

The trip over to the park isn’t a long one, but it’s more difficult than Kaito remembers.

What he thought was flat ground isn’t. The sidewalk tilts ever so slightly, and he has to keep correcting himself so he won’t veer into the road instead if just rolling smoothly along. His back doesn’t like it apparently, judging by the annoying twinges he’s starting to get.

The broken piece of sidewalk that juts out of the ground at the park entrance is no longer something he can simply step over. His casters jam against it when he miscalculates how fast he has to pop a wheelie to get over the bump, and yelps.

“Ah! Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he hisses. “Just kinda jarring.” He gets himself into a wheelie again, this time clearing it, though the bump is still more jarring than he would like. He continues to feel that deep in his bones. Ow. That's annoying.

Aoko squints as they stop on the sidewalk, just before the open grassy area. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“It’s just some phantom pain.”

Her face goes from accusatory to worried. “Should we go home, then?”

“Naaah, I’m good to keep going.” He pops his chair into a wheelie again, slowly inching himself along the grassy ground. Truth be told though, the annoying pain has quickly turned to a more consistent burn that’s harder to ignore. But still, it’s nothing bad. It’s probably just because he jarred himself. “It doesn’t hurt much.”

Aoko keeps an eye on him, because even Kaito admits that having a spotter is good when trying new things. And it goes fine. Like he said, it doesn’t hurt too much.

Until suddenly it does, and it feels like he’s got knives stabbing into his legs and back

Kaito slams his casters back down onto the dirt, wincing at the impact, then grimacing as the knives keep digging down, deep into his deteriorating muscles. But this is-- it should go away. He’s fine.

It doesn’t hurt too much, he tries to convince himself, as he grips his thighs in an attempt to... he doesn’t know what he’s trying to do. A lot of the pain is in his back anyway. And there’s nothing there except a phantom knife twisting its way down to his bones.

“Kaito...?”

“Ngh,” is the only response he can manage.

“Kaito, hey.” She kneels down next to his chair. He wants to turn away, but he forces himself to look at her worried face. “What’s wrong?”

He takes in a slow shaky breath so he can get out, “Legs hurt.” Back too, but he can’t get any more words out. This isn’t like the normal phantom pains he’s been having. This isn’t like when his back aches at night. It’s fire, and it’s spreading, and it’s not stopping. It’s just increasing. He digs his fingers harder into his thighs. He can’t feel it. It hurts. “Really bad,” he finally manages to grit out, much quieter.

He screws his eyes shut to try and block everything out. Just breathe through it. Breathe. In for five, out for five.

“Can Aoko--” She stops herself. When Kaito opens his eyes, she looks less worried and more scared. “She’s gonna take you home. She’ll push you, okay?”

“I can--” he can’t. “Shit--” he chokes. “Yeah, just-- yeah, please.” His voice tightens on the last word as another knife digs its way into his back. “Let’s just go home.” He hates how desperate he sounds.

Usually Kaito is hyper aware of anyone putting their hands on his wheelchair. Every slight movement and jostle makes him uncomfortable and twitchy. But he doesn’t even notice it this time-- too wrapped up in his own body to realize anything is happening until he’s already moving. He doesn’t lurch forward, thankfully, Aoko is always as smooth as possible when she pushes him.

Beyond that, going back is a blur. He’s only really aware of himself, of his hands on his legs and Aoko at his back. He can’t bring himself to care about how he looks to anyone else, to anyone staring-- if they’re even staring-- if there are even any people at all-- as they go back home. He only thinks there might be people when Aoko asks softly-- quietly-- if he’s okay, like she’s afraid someone will hear her.

He mumbles a negative and shakes his head. Actual words aren’t happening right now, he can barely even think. His legs hurt. He can’t feel them. They’re on fire

“We’re almost home,” Aoko says. “Just hang in there.”

Home doesn’t come soon enough. By the time they get there Kaito thinks it’s a wonder he hasn’t torn holes in his pants with how hard he’s been digging his nails into his thighs, and he gives a brief thought to the fact that maybe he shouldn’t be gripping his legs this hard when he can’t actually feel them-- but it gets drowned out by another wave of fire going from his back all the way down to his feet.

Chikage-- it takes him a minute to register the hands on his face as his mother’s-- is asking what happened, did he fall again and get hurt? He didn’t do anything. Nothing happened, it just built and built and now he can hardly think, hardly breathe without hitching whines on each exhale.

Chikage says something about going to the hospital, and Kaito can barely even nod in response.

~

Aoko is beside herself with worry when Chikage takes Kaito to the hospital. He gets phantom pain sometimes, but this didn’t look like that kind of stuff. It shouldn’t be that bad-- right? He was barely even coherent. Hopefully it’s nothing. Hopefully he’s okay.

It’s dark when Kaito comes back a few hours later, still pale and shaky. Aoko helps him out of the car without even asking if he needs it. She glances back at Chikage-- maybe she should have let Chikage help-- but she just nods at Aoko, and goes to the front door to unlock it. Aoko turns back to Kaito. “Did you find out what was wrong?”

“It’s more phantom pain.” Kaito grimaces as he pulls his feet up. “But there might-- might be some actual stuff wrong with my muscles too.”

“Wrong, like... like how?” She flips up his wheelchair handles to push him inside.

“My back could have healed funny, or something. They gave me--” He stops, squeezes his eyes shut and stays frozen a moment before he finally breathes and opens his eyes again. “Gave me stronger painkillers. But hopefully nothing actually healed wrong and it was just... I don’t know. I probably just hurt myself and didn’t notice.”

Aoko doesn’t want to ask what she's thinking. How likely it is that this could keep happening. Chikage asks if they need anything as she heads towards the stairs, and Kaito says no.

“Aren’t you already on painkillers?” She kicks off her shoes and scoots them in line with the ledge.

“Yeah.” He doesn’t say anything more than that.

Aoko pushes him up the ramp in the genkan and then lets go, circling around to face him. “So-- more? Different stuff?”

“Different temporary stuff or whatever. But if-- if it keeps up, they might up my normal dosage, or give me different stronger stuff permanently. Maybe. Depends.”

“Depends on what...?”

Kaito takes a small quick inhale that Aoko first thinks is because of pain, but the way he clenches his jaw and looks away from her makes her realize that he’s upset. “On stuff. Can’t mix certain meds. Might get addicted.”

“Oh--”

He moves around her and goes towards his bedroom without looking at her.

She takes a deep breath. “Aoko is gonna stay over tonight.”

“You probably don’t wanna sleep with me tonight.”

“Aoko wants to,” she argues. “She wants to be here if you’re in trouble. You’re not gonna wake up your mom in the middle of the night if you need help, Aoko knows you won’t.”

“...I guess I can’t argue with--” Kaito cuts himself off, stopping short and gripping the rims of his wheelchair tightly before he moves towards the bedroom again.

“Is it still that bad...?” Aoko asks nervously, stepping in line with him.

“Painkillers are helping some,” he winces. “I can at least think now.”

“Oh-- wait, are you going to bed? Have you eaten dinner yet?”

Kaito hesitates, turning around to look at her before shrugging. “M’not hungry.”

Aoko bites her lip and lets him go to his room. In the meantime she goes upstairs to ask Chikage what, exactly, the doctor said. She tells Aoko much of the same that Kaito did, except, “This will most likely happen again. The doctor said that chronic pain is a common symptom of a spinal cord injury.”

That’s... she didn’t want that confirmed, but there it is. She won’t dwell on it for long. Kaito needs her here and now, not worrying about the future, so she goes back downstairs. Kaito is getting undressed when she steps into his bedroom. Normally that’s not a big deal, but when he sits up to pull his jeans down over his knees...

Aoko gasps, hands flying to cover her mouth.

Both thighs, just above his knees, are bruised in the vague shape of fingerprints.

“Yeah,” Kaito says. “Guess I need to be careful about that.”

“Oh God, that’s...” Aoko doesn’t want to look at it.

“So long as it’s just a bruise it should be fine.” Kaito grimaces at the sight of it. “I just have to see what it looks like in the morning.”

“Y-you’re sure...?”

“I just wanna sleep,” he mumbles.

“Right. Yeah. Okay.” Aoko is starting to feel sick at the sight of his bruised legs, so she finally tears her gaze away. “Aoko will get ready for bed, then.”

When Aoko finally crawls in bed after Kaito does, she holds him, like she held him the night he came back from the hospital. He holds onto her like he did then, but tighter. She can’t bring herself to ask him to stop digging his nails into her back. 

Aoko doesn’t fall asleep until long after Kaito’s grip goes slack and his breathing evens out.

~Wednesday, August 11th

Kaito wakes up-- thank God, he finally fell asleep-- but he still hurts.

Nothing as sharp as yesterday, but the bone-deep burn is persistent, and he’s exhausted. He doesn’t even know how much sleep he managed to get. Not a lot, that’s all he knows.

He’s debating on if he should dose up on more painkillers when Aoko pokes her head into the room. “Oh, you’re awake.”

“Mmyep.”

Aoko comes over to sit on the edge of the bed. “Are you feeling better?” she asks, voice laced with worry.

“A little,” he groans. His voice isn’t as steady as he would like it to be, but he can't bring himself to care enough to force it to be even. “I feel like I got run over by a truck.”

“A little is still good,” she insists. “It’s kinda early. Maybe you should go back to sleep.”

“What time is it...?”

“About nine-thirty.”

Kaito snorts. “Wow, letting me sleep in? Encouraging even more of it?”

“Kaito...” He would expect her voice to have more of a warning tone, but she just sounds worried. “It was a lot yesterday, you need to rest.”

“I don't think I can go back to sleep.”

“That bad...?” Aoko asks nervously.

“Yeah. Kinda.” Kaito props himself up on his elbows, and swears sharply as he pushes himself into a sitting position. “Ow. God. Yeah, I’m gonna take those painkillers again.”

“Aoko can get them for you, hang on.”

Maybe the painkillers are wildly more effective than they were yesterday, or maybe whatever the heck was going on finally died down on its own, but it’s not long before Kaito finally starts feeling better. Or rather, he stops hurting, because even after he stops having a knife twisting in his spine, he’s exhausted, and exhaustion isn’t quite as better as he would like.

But he’s also getting antsy. He doesn’t wanna be holed up just because of some pain, so. “Not to be annoying--”

“You’re always annoying. But if you’re asking for help, that’s not annoying.” Aoko gives him a warning look from her spot on the rug she’s pulled out in the middle of the living room floor. “Just tell Aoko if you need something, okay?”

“I mean I don’t exactly need--” Well, he kinda does. “...I wanted to go out again. But I’m really not up for pushing myself around. Just like-- to the park again?” He just wants to get out of the house. Away from Chikage. “Not for practice or anything, just... yeah. You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

Aoko seems a bit taken aback by his request. He doesn’t know what she expected him to ask, but he likes her smile when she says, “Yeah, sure!”

Notes:

haHA! the previous chapter was just a false sense of security! >:D

Chapter 13: bruises

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Wednesday, August 11th

Kaito unties his shoes and puts them on the floor of the genkan. Then he takes off his socks, and-- oh. That’s not good. “Huh.”

“Kaito? Do you need help getting u-AH!” Aoko yelps. He doesn’t blame her, his foot looks kind of gross. His toes are all mottled purple, and the color is creeping up his foot. “What happened?!”

“I’m... I don’t know? I don’t think I tied my shoe too tight, I checked it--” He grabs his shoe again just to see if there’s anything weird about it. Sticking his hand inside reveals... a sock. He must have stuffed it in there at some point and forgotten to take it out, and it smushed his foot when he jammed his shoes on this morning. Now that he thinks about it, there was more resistance than usual. But then this-- is this just a bruise? It’s literally the worst bruise he’s ever seen in his entire life, if it can even be qualified as one anymore. He doesn’t think it looks like a pressure sore. Those are red and blistery, this just looks like he dropped something kinda heavy on his toes.

It looks like it should hurt like a bitch either way. He prods his foot once before Aoko yanks his hand away. “Don’t touch it!” she yells.

“It’s fine, I can’t feel it--”

“More reason not to touch! You can’t tell if you’re making it worse!”

“I’m just checking it!”

She’s already walking into the house, heading towards the kitchen. “Get on the couch, Aoko will get ice.”

Kaito does as she orders, transferring over to the couch and attempting to only use his not-bruised foot to pivot, but that’s hard to do when he can’t exactly lift his foot off the floor. He should probably elevate it, right? He props his feet up on the arm of the chair and then lays down flat.

The bruise is definitely bad, but at least he can’t feel it-- or the ones on his thighs, for that matter.

Then again, not feeling it is the reason he’s been bruising himself in the first place. There’s probably some kind of irony or funny thing in here that he’s too tired to suss out.

“Jeez, first your legs and now your foot...” Aoko grumbles as she walks in.

She puts a washcloth and then an ice pack on his foot and repositions it a few times so it won’t fall off. “Okay, got it. Now just don’t move.”

“I have some Excellent news for you on the not moving front.”

She squints at him. “Don’t you get sassy with Aoko, now.”

He smirks. “I’m just telling the truth.”

She groans before turning around to leave the room. “Aoko will be right back. We’ll watch a movie or something after that.”

Kaito waits. Not much else to do. Maybe he can convince Aoko to watch a horror film, that would be hilarious.

“Oh good, you two are back.” Chikage walks by him as she comes out of the kitchen. “I called Gin--” She stops to do a double-take before she makes it to the stairs. “What happened to your foot?”

“Bakaito left a sock in his shoe,” Aoko huffs as she comes back into the room. “He bruised it when he rammed his feet into his shoes this morning.”

“Yeah, well, now I know to check my shoes before I put them on.”

“Bruised?” Chikage comes closer. “Like a pressure sore?”

“It’s not a pressure sore,” Kaito whines. “We checked for that. So I’m gonna leave it alone unless it starts getting worse.”

“It’s not as bad as the ones on his legs,” Aoko offers as she fiddles with the TV.

Chikage lifts the ice pack to gently grab his foot to inspect it. His leg twitches, and if he had any ability to lift it at this angle, that twitch definitely would have been him yanking his whole leg away from her. “Yyyou probably shouldn’t touch it. It just needs to be iced.”

“You’re sure?” Chikage puts the ice pack back. “It looks pretty bad...”

“I’ll keep an eye on it, but so far it’s just a bruise. Probably nothing’s gonna happen.” Maybe. Hopefully. He’s not thinking about it.

“Hmm.” Chikage stands up straight. “Alright, I’ll trust you. But if it starts looking funny, you need to tell me.”

“Yep, got it.” Kaito gives her a thumbs up but she’s already leaving the room, her black jacket swishing behind her like a cape, like--

Aoko bounces onto the couch next to him. “We’re watching Hamtaro!”

Ah, and it’s already playing. “Wow, thanks for asking my opinion.”

“Shoulda said something while I was putting it on.”

“Oh! Aoko-chan!” Chikage shouts from the kitchen. “I called your dad and bullied him into coming back in time for dinner!”

“Good!” she shouts back.

“Can you please shut up,” Kaito grumbles. “I’m actually trying to watch this, unlike you.”

“No.” Aoko turns to face the kitchen to yell again. “What’s for dinner?”

Kaito shoves her off the couch. She hits him in the face with a throw pillow and then stays sitting on the floor in protest until dinner is ready.

~

Ginzou didn’t think he and Chikage had been talking for very long after dinner, but when he walks back to the living room he finds Aoko and Kaito both asleep on the couch, the menu of whatever they were watching still on the TV screen. They’re also asleep on top of each other, which has lost shock value since the first time he saw the two of them in Aoko’s bed after they brought Kaito home from the hospital, but it’s a bit much when Kaito’s head is in her lap and she’s twisted around to be half on top of him. That cannot be comfortable.

“Awh.” Chikage sneaks up behind him and whispers, “They’re so cute.”

“A little less cute and more concerning when they’re sixteen,” Ginzou grumbles. “Or-- wait, God, is Kaito seventeen already?”

“Mhm, he is!” Chikage snaps a picture with her phone.

“They really have grown up fast.”

Chikage pockets her phone. “Come on, come on, let’s not wake them up.” She takes Ginzou’s arm and tugs him back into the kitchen.

“So.” She’s still half-whispering like an excited schoolgirl. “Do we wanna take bets on when they start dating?”

Ginzou snorts. “Oh don’t start this again.”

“It’s gotta be soon now, if they’re comfortable falling asleep on each other like this again.” She grins as she picks up the glass she’d left on the counter. “So long as you’re over here, might as well have another drink.” She pours more wine for both of them, handing Ginzou a glass. “Which one of them do you think will crack first?”

“Probably Aoko, but who really knows.”

“Right?” Chikage takes her seat at the table, and Ginzou follows. “They’re both as stubborn as mules. I can’t imagine how it’ll go down.”

“There’ll definitely be yelling, that’s for sure.” He rolls his eyes and takes a sip. “But it’ll be a while. They’re still adjusting.”

“Mm.” Chikage has one hand resting underneath her chin as she glances towards the living room, and the other swirling her drink.

“What’s with that face?”

“I’m worried about Kaito,” Chikage mutters. “He isn’t telling me everything.”

“Are you really surprised? Getting anything out of that kid is like pulling teeth.”

She sighs. “Well, no, I’m not. But that’s why I’m worried.” She sets her glass down and rests both of her hands underneath her chin. “I know he’s taking this whole thing a lot harder than what he’s letting me see.”

“...He definitely had a hell of a time when you were still gone.” Ginzou never wants to see Kaito as broken down as that ever again. “It seems like he’s doing better now that you’re back home, though.”

“Still.” She hums. “I suppose I’ll just have to wait for him to say things on his own time. But...”

“But?”

“Might be able to persuade him to tell me a few things.” She winks. “A little bribery never hurt anyone.” She snatches up her glass and downs the rest of her drink in one go.

Christ, you never change.”

“If it works, it works!” she chirps.

Notes:

this was one of those chapters that i changed the order of like 8 times before i could figure out where it fit on the timeline.

happy pride month!

Chapter 14: comfort

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Thursday, August 12th

Kaito wakes up, moves to jump out of bed, and then remembers he can’t just... do that anymore. He’s got a lot of new things in his routine. Struggle through his stretches, check his legs for anything abnormal in case he slept on his legs wrong, then he has to haul himself upright and to the edge of the bed, transfer to his wheelchair, brush his teeth, shower, get back in the wheelchair, get his clothes for the day, get back in bed, shimmy into his clothes, and then get back in his wheelchair again and take his meds, and he can finally get his day started.

It’s so much. It’s so much compared to how quickly he used to be able to get ready for the day, and some mornings it takes a stupid amount of time just to get himself upright because of how daunting it feels. He lays in bed, thinking about what will happen that day after he gets ready-- some mornings, like today, the looming thoughts of how slow and different his day is going to start out, and how the rest of the day will be much of the same or worse... it makes him sick to his stomach.

This is ridiculous. It’s downright stupid. He shouldn’t be so stressed about trying to plan out a day. Not even planning-- he’s barely even thinking about stuff he has planned for the rest of the day yet, he’s just being weighed down by nothing and everything.

Kaito wants to go back to sleep. Not even because he hurts, he’s just. Tired.

But no. He can’t. If nothing else, he needs to feed his doves and let them out into the fly cage. He needs to change the lining at the bottom of their coop too. Chikage won’t do it. He doesn’t want her to, even if she would. He’s gotta take care of his doves. That’s the thought that finally gets him out of bed.

~

Kaito has elbow crutches. He’s been standing up and taking steps well enough that his physical therapist said he should try practicing at home-- with supervision of course, because everything has to be with supervision, because it’s so freaking easy for Kaito to fall and hurt himself all over again--

Kaito stops. Takes a deep breath, tries to stop that train of thought before he starts tearing his hair out or something. Just-- he just needs to focus on practicing. Practice walking with crutches, so he can walk with a cane, so he can eventually walk unassisted and he’ll be back to normal. He can do this.

He can’t doesn’t ask Chikage to keep an eye on him. He confines himself to his room after lunch. There’s plenty of floorspace to get in half a dozen steps before he has to turn around, and that’s really all he needs for practice.

So he sits himself on the edge of the bed, buckles his braces over his pants, grabs his crutches, and pulls himself up. Being on two legs is, weirdly enough, disorienting. Not being able to feel too much of his legs but still managing to stand up will do that.

Kaito gets his right leg a few inches forward. Then steps his left crutch forward the same amount. Then his left foot, and right crutch. Right foot again, and he’s taken a few steps on his own. His arms are shaking with how tight he holds onto the crutches. He doesn’t wanna fall. He pauses to get his bearings, loosen his grip a little bit--

Loosens it a bit too much and leans his arm on the brace too hard, and the whole crutch slips out from under him, sending the rest of him crashing to the floor after it. His hip-- the one he can’t feel-- takes the worst of the fall so he doesn’t feel the crash. It doesn’t hurt, but he’s gonna have to see if it bruises later. Another one to add to the pile, yaaay.

His pride is definitely bruised, but that doesn’t mean much these days with everything he goes through. Best to just pick himself up and call it a day on practicing before he does something else stupid.

Kaito props himself up to a sitting position. This is fine, he just has to get back up into his wheelchair, or in bed, and he can move on from this.

He just has to get up.

He just has to get up. It’s not that hard. It shouldn‘t be that hard.

(He’s been able to get himself back in his chair from the floor by himself quite a few times, but he’s botched it and needed help just as much.)

He might not be able to get up, especially because he’s still sore from whatever that weird pain episode was a couple of days ago, but he has to try first. He scoots himself over to his wheelchair and locks it into place, and preps himself to climb in.

But today isn’t his day, and he slips halfway up, ending up sprawled sideways on the floor.

And this time he feels the impact-- burning pain all the way up his spine. He balls up his fists, lets his forehead press into the hardwood floor, and prays that this will end just as fast as it came on. Sometimes it’s quick. Twists wrong, whacks his knee on something accidentally, it hurts, it’s gone.

But he knows that’s not gonna happen. He doesn’t move, just breathes. In for five, out for five. In for five, out for f-- fuck!

Kaito curls in on himself, letting out a low whine as his back continues to burn. This is fine this is fine this is fine. He just needs to sit up again and he can start over. The pain will go away soon.

He can’t hold back the strangled yell, though he does manage to prop himself up on shaking arms. He bites his tongue before he remembers how much of an awful idea that is, and slowly, carefully opens his mouth to try and breathe through the knife dragging its way from the base of his spine and all the way up his back. In for five, out for five, unable to stop the shakiness, but it’s even. He’s breathing.

If he moves again, he’s going to scream.

“Mom?” His voice cracks, it’s quiet, he doesn’t want to call her for help but it fell out of his mouth before he could stop it. He swallows thickly, trying to swallow his pride and fear along with it, and calls louder: “Mom?”

He hears footsteps coming down the stairs. He’s torn between regret and dread. “What’s--” She stops short in the doorway once she catches sight of him. “Oh no, did you fall?”

His heart does some awful backflip in his chest, but he nods, not trusting his voice.

“Alright, let’s get you up again...” She crouches down next to him, gets her arms under his to prop him up.

Kaito swears, loud and probably right in her ear considering that she fumbles and almost loses her grip on him, but he’s just trying to focus on calming down his erratic gasping and his shaking limbs as he grips Chikage’s arms.

Oh, she’s been talking to him this whole time. Asking if he’s okay, he thinks. He’s absolutely not, but the only word he can get out is a choked, “Hurts.”

“Where are your painkillers?” Chikage asks calmly, not letting go of him.

“I already-- hhk--” he chokes back on tears forming in his eyes. “Took ‘em.” Not that long ago, he takes them each morning and they’re supposed to help with the phantom pain, and he downed the extra stuff the doctor gave him today when he started hurting real bad after he got out of bed. But they aren’t dampening the worst of it-- or any of it, really.

Chikage wraps her arms around him completely and he doesn’t return the hug, fingers still in a vice grip on her shirt and trying to stay in control. In for five, out for five, but it’s hard when his breath keeps catching as the knives in his back feel like they’re being pulled out, dragging and scraping the wound on the way out, and immediately-- repeatedly-- replaced by new ones that cut deeper into his spine.

He doesn’t want her to see him cry, doesn’t want to be here, doesn’t want her to be here, doesn’t want to be in pain, doesn’t want to be crippled, doesn’t want her to hug him like this, doesn’t want this to actually be comforting but it is. She’s familiar and safe even if she’s not, and it’s easy to give in and cling to her while he sobs.

He tries to focus on her arms around him, because focusing on his body-- the fire in his back, his out of control breathing, the numbness in his legs layered with knives digging into his bones-- he just wants it to stop.

His crying eventually turns to shaky breaths that only sometimes hitch in his throat. He doesn’t feel too steady, but he pulls away from Chikage-- slowly, unsure if he’ll collapse again.

Chikage keeps her arms hovering around him as he sits up straight. “Are you feeling any better?”

No. He’s cried himself out, but his back still hurts. He doesn’t trust his voice.

“What happened?” She lowers her arms, putting one hand over his.

Kaito still doesn't trust his voice, but he tries to gather up enough air to say, “Fell.” He sniffs and wipes away the tear tracks. “Hit the floor really hard.” Not hard at all, not even from that high up, but God it felt like it.

“Do you want me to help you get back up now?” she asks softly. “Your bed or your chair?” She rubs a thumb over the back of his hand. He wants to pull away. The gesture is nice. It makes his skin crawl.

“Chair.” He doesn’t look at her.

He winces when she helps him up, and he’s slow to adjust himself and get his feet up.

“Do you need anything else?”

“No.” He bites back on a groan, but he’s better, at least. He’s upright again, and his back is throbbing instead of completely on fire and making his whole lower half into a hellscape. “Thanks.”

She says something about making hot chocolate, which he readily agrees to. It’s only when she puts a hand on his shoulder as she brushes past him to leave his room that he can fully say that whatever comfort he was getting from her just before is gone.

For a moment there, he almost forgot how much she puts him on edge.

Notes:

she IS still his mom :)

also, i just realized we're over halfway through the first act! what the fuck. when did that happen.

the chapters arent specifically labeled as acts but i broke them up that way when writing, so. damn.

Chapter 15: physical therapy

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Friday, August 13th

Kaito has been trying to do all his stretches by himself, but they’re, uh, difficult. And to his credit, he’s gotten good about not making a fuss about needing help-- especially when it’s something he has to do literally every single day or risk health problems. The problem is, of course, that Aoko is no longer here all the time because Chikage is home, and she’s usually who he would ask.

...He may or may not keep putting off doing his exercises because he waits until he’s sure Chikage won’t walk in on him, because he doesn’t want her to offer to help. He knows she’ll insist even when he says no, and he’s just not gonna be able to deal with it today.

But of course that leads to the problem of he’s really not physically capable of doing this stuff by himself yet.

“Aoko’s gonna head out,” she says as she stands up from the floor of the living room.

“‘Kay.” He doesn’t even bother looking up, but then-- “Actually, wait.”

“Hm?”

“Could you help me do my stretches before you go?”

“Yeah, sure!”

He’s certain she’s so chipper about it because he’s actually asking for help instead of beating around the bush, but he’s tired and life is too difficult for him to pretend that he can do everything by himself.

They don’t get very far into it before a sharp pain hits the hip he can kinda feel and shoots through both legs. “Wait-- stop, Aoko, stop.”

Aoko freezes in her tracks. “Just for a minute or is it too much?” she asks, but she’s pulling her hands away from his leg and stepping back from the couch like she already knows they’re done.

“Yeah. Yeah, too much.” It’s been a couple of days since he had that... really bad flare up. But it’s still affecting him pretty badly. He’s exhausted, and his stretches are bringing that pain back full force. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize to Aoko. She’s proud that you said something this time.”

This time. And it’s certain there will be a next time, where he’s going to have to do the same thing. And he’s going to have to keep admitting stuff like this to Aoko, over and over. He hopes it gets easier at some point, because it feels like pulling teeth right now. But at least he can do it now. And this is definitely an improvement to the last time he was pushed to his limit when Aoko was helping him with physical therapy. He doesn’t fancy spitting into a cup until his tongue stops bleeding again. That was absolutely disgusting. And humiliating.

He could technically continue the stretches, and maybe he should, but it’s too much right now. He wants to curl up and go to sleep.

“Are you okay? Maybe Aoko shouldn’t have pushed you so far...”

“It’s--” He has to bite his lip to stop himself from making an ugly noise, and tries to take in a deep breath to steady himself. “Nnnot your fault.” Kaito digs the heel of his palms into his thighs. It’s not like it actually does anything against the burning sensation, he can’t feel those parts of his legs, but he has to do something or he’ll go insane. “Probably would have happened if I did stretches on my own.”

“Oh.” She fidgets. “Have you taken your meds for the night?”

“No.”

She stands immediately. “I’ll get you some water.”

He continues to rub at his legs. He hates touching his legs, honestly. It’s weird. There’s not even any kind of pressure unless he hits that one part of his knee or higher up on his right thigh where he’s got a little bit of feeling. And more importantly, he can feel the loss of his muscles underneath his fingers, and all he can think about is how it’s gonna keep going. Keeping up with his stretches and physical therapy isn’t going to prevent most atrophy, not with how little he can use his legs. It’ll keep him healthy, make sure he’s got decent circulation, prevent other bad medical stuff. But he’s still gonna have to watch his legs get thinner and thinner the longer he goes without acrobatics, running, walking-- all the things he used to do.

God, it hurts. Is this gonna get as bad as it did at the park? He stopped doing the stretches. The pain should stop too.

He doesn’t even realize what he’s doing until Aoko is back in his space, placing her hands on his shoulders and saying, “Hey, hey, stop breathing so fast. You’re gonna pass out.”

Kaito is kinda bordering on hyperventilating, huh? He takes a deep breath and tries to let it out slowly, but it turns into an involuntary moan. He’s too tired to keep a poker face, especially when it’s Aoko. It just makes things more difficult in the long run.

“Okay, now you need to let go.” Aoko takes hold of his hands, prying them away from his legs-- oh, he didn’t even realize he’d had them in a death grip. Again. “You’re gonna hurt yourself.”

Right. He’s already got bruises there, he really doesn’t need to add to the damage. “Didn’t notice.”

[image]

“It’s okay, Aoko knows you didn’t.” She sits back on the couch, across from him. “How are you doing?”

“Just hurts.” He nearly digs his nails into his leg again, which he only realizes because Aoko’s still got her hands over his. “Sorry.”

“Stop saying sorry, it’s not your fault. Here.” Aoko reaches to grab his pill container and the glass of water and hand them to him. He takes them and pauses when Aoko snaps, “Do not take those dry again, and don’t apologize for it or Aoko’s gonna kick your ass.”

Leave it to Aoko to threaten to beat up a cripple. Kaito laughs, but cuts off when his breath hitches in his throat again. He still manages a tired smile when he says, “Thanks, then.”

“That’s more like it.”

It is nice that she doesn’t treat him like he’s fragile. Even when he’s hurting like this. He doesn’t feel fragile, he just... hurts. He takes his pills, with water, so Aoko doesn’t kick his ass.

“Well, I’d absolutely love to pass out right now,” he groans. He hopes the muscle relaxer kicks in soon, it usually makes him drowsy enough to fall asleep even against pain.

“Mm... do you want Aoko to stay the night again, actually...?”

“Only if you want to. I’ll be okay.”

“Doesn’t look like it.”

He shrugs. “I’m just stressed.”

“Aoko meant with the pain, but. Yeah. You’ve been stressed for a while,” Aoko remarks. “Just normal stuff, or...?”

“It’s. Eugh, this is gonna sound bad.” Kaito runs his hands through his hair.

“Just say it. It’s not like it’ll be worse than any of the other stuff you’ve told Aoko.”

“Probably not.” Aoko’s heard the worst of his thoughts through all of this. Can’t hurt to voice it. “I’m... not used to my mom being here. It’s weird having to explain everything to her, and I really don’t wanna talk about it, and I know that’s my fault I’m not talking about it but like. I don’t wanna think too hard about it. It’s just going over things we already figured out, and she wasn’t here for it.”

“That’s not really bad. It did take her a while to come back,” Aoko mumbles. “It... kinda sucks that she missed a bunch of important stuff.”

“She should’ve come back earlier,” Kaito says with more bitterness in his voice than he intended. At least she wasn’t here to see him have all his breakdowns in the hospital. “I guess I’m. A little mad about it. Probably why I’m stressed out so bad right now.”

She wraps him up in a hug, resting her chin on his shoulder. “Aoko’s sorry,” she mumbles.

“You’re not the one who wasn’t here.” Kaito wraps his arms around her in turn, squeezing her close. “You’ve-- ha-- you’ve been here the whole time, in fact. Exact opposite.”

“Yeah, but still. It sucks, so Aoko’s sorry.”

“Mm.”

“Do you want me to help you explain some stuff to her?”

“That would... yeah, that’d be nice. Thanks.” Kaito holds on to Aoko tighter, flopping back on the bed. “But... later. I’m just tired.”

“I know.”

Aoko does know. There’s weight behind it, unlike when Chikage says it. Chikage doesn’t know.

She’s been gone.

Notes:

this is definitely one of my favorite illustrations ive done for this fic

also i forgot to add the title to the last chapter, whups. fixed that.

Chapter 16: irritation

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Saturday, August 14th

Kaito wakes up, and immediately wishes he hadn’t. He lays still for a moment with his eyes closed, trying to focus on something besides his back. It’s pouring rain outside, which is a nice enough sound to quiet his brain down a bit. When he finally opens his eyes he finds that Aoko isn’t in bed, and he’s not sure if she woke up early or if he woke up late until he checks his phone and sees that it’s 9:07. Normal wake up time, then. Ish.

The weird part is that under the rain that’s pounding against the window, he can hear Aoko brushing her teeth in the bathroom. “Did you just wake up?” he shouts.

“Yah!” she yells back through a mouthful of toothpaste.

“Kinda late for you.”

He hears Aoko spit and rinse out her mouth. “Aoko woke up too early, so she went back to sleep.” She bounces onto the bed. “You look tired, though. Did you sleep okay?”

“I slept the whole night, but I feel like crap.” Kaito props himself up and throws the sheets off. “I cannot wait to stop hurting,” he groans.

Aoko looks thoughtful. “The doctors... they said that it might not go away, didn’t they...?”

Well, he was trying not to think about that. “It’ll probably just take a while to die down.”

“Right. Yeah, but, isn’t it like... super common...?”

“I’ll be fine,” he snaps. “Just-- I’ll be fine. It’ll go away.”

Aoko doesn’t agree with him. Kaito doesn’t press her to do so.

~Sunday, August 15th

Weights really only go so far for Kaito, at least mentally. It’s not exciting. It’s not special. He gets bored. It doesn't clear his head. He just ends up wanting to do other things, and that’s just not acceptable.

He still keeps up with the new exercise routine he’s established, but it’s time to add something more fun into the mix: speed.

The park has long sidewalks-- they curve a bit in places, but Kaito doesn’t mind the extra challenge of turning while going top speed.

Aoko is with him, because he’s not gonna try anything new by himself, he’s not that stupid. “Is it okay if Aoko jogs with you, or...?”

“I’m out here to exercise, don’t see why you can’t do the same.” If nothing else, it’ll be good motivation to go faster. “Better catch up quick, though!” He swivels around and starts wheeling himself forward.

“Wah-- Aoko needs to re-tie her shoe! Jerk!”

It takes him a good moment to get to something he would consider fast-- but God it feels good to be moving forward at a pace that actually makes his hair whip in the wind, even if it’s only a little bit.

The first big curve in the sidewalk comes up and Kaito turns, then tips, then tumbles completely out of his wheelchair and onto the grass. Ah. Miscalculated how close he was to the edge of the sidewalk, there.

“Kaito!” Aoko shrieks, running closer. “Oh God-- are you okay?!”

“Yep.” And he really is, though uh... disoriented. There’s a low pain in his back and he’s embarrassed as all hell for a mistake like that, but he’ll deal with it. “Just... gonna stay here for a second, then I’ll get back up.”

“...Okay,” Aoko says hesitantly. She rights his wheelchair, and sits in the grass next to him. “You’re sure?”

[IMG1]

“I just need a minute to be disappointed with myself.”

“Stop that. You’re still learning how to do stuff.”

“It’s taking forever.”

“It hasn’t even been a month!” she exclaims.

“Mh.”

Aoko glares at him. Kaito doesn’t have the time to snap at her before she jabs him in the chest. “Ba! Kai! To!”

“OW, hey! Cut it out!” He slaps her hand away.

“You’re still new at this! You’re gonna fall! You’re not a disappointment!” she yells, leaning over him to get right in his face as she pouts. “So get back in your chair, stop being a baby, and race me.”

He blinks.

“Well?” she snaps.

“I-- yeah. Just let me-- uh-- right, I’ll get back in my chair.”

Aoko gives him a smug look. “That’s more like it.”

~Monday, August 16th

Kaito cannot find a single bowl in the kitchen.

He’s checked the cabinets, the sink, the dishwasher, the table-- even his desk on the off chance that he left some dishes there, but he hasn’t eaten in his room lately. He knows there’s none there, and there aren’t any there when he checks.

He just. Wants. To reheat. His leftover soup. Where are the bowls.

There’s no way Chikage brought all the bowls upstairs or something.

Wait.

Kaito goes back to the kitchen, and squints at the upper cabinet where they used to keep the bowls. They’d better not be there. He reaches up, just barely getting his fingers under the cabinet door to open it since he’s not lifting himself out of chair (and frankly doesn’t feel up to it). Sure enough, when he backs up and cranes his neck so he can see the contents of the shelves better, the bowls are up there. On the lower shelf, so, not in the exact same place they used to be, but guess what? Still out of reach.

He groans.

“Hey, Mom!” Kaito shouts. No response. He goes to the base of the stairs and shouts again, louder, “Chikage-san!”

“Yes?”

“Can you come down here and reach something for me?”

He backtracks to the kitchen. He doesn’t hear her footsteps, but her voice is right behind him when she asks, “What do you need?”

Kaito wordlessly points to the stack of bowls.

She looks at him quizzically. “I thought you said that you could reach the bottom shelf here?”

Kaito smacks his hand on the lip of the shelf. Well. His fingers. Because he can barely reach the edge. “I mean--” He grabs the rail of his wheelchair with his other hand to push himself up, so he can reach... the edge of the stack of bowls. “I’m gonna knock these over like this. That’s why me and Aoko only put nonbreakables up here.”

“Ahh, alright. I’ll keep the bowls in the lower cabinets. I’m sorry about that, sweetie.”

“It’s fine.”

“Still. I won’t do it again.” Chikage kisses his forehead before she takes the bowls out, setting one on the counter in front of him before she puts the rest away in a lower cabinet. “Do you need anything else?”

“No.”

“Alright. I’m going back upstairs, holler if you do need me.”

He doesn’t respond as she walks away.

~Tuesday, August 17th

“Is there any more hot pink, or did Kaito-kun use the last of it?” Keiko asks as she digs through Aoko’s bag of nail polish.

“Used it.” Kaito flashes his nails at her, then puts his hands back on his chest as he stares up at the ceiling. “Aoko should have some kind of magenta in there, I think.”

“Yeah, brand new too.” Aoko climbs in Kaito’s bed with them as Keiko pulls the bottle out of the bag. “Is that the color you want?”

“Yeah, this one is nice.”

“Alright, give Aoko your hands, then,” she chirps as she puts down a paper towel.

Kaito at first doesn't pay much attention to what they talk about while Aoko paints her nails, only chiming in when Keiko starts talking about Legend of Zelda. By the time that thread of conversation dies down, Keiko is flapping her hands to get her nails to dry faster, and is squinting at something past Aoko.

“What’s up?” Kaito asks.

“Are those... crutches?” Keiko asks hesitantly, like she’s not sure what she’s looking at. And elbow crutches do look weird, so he’s not really blaming her for the mild confusion-- especially when they’re half-hidden by his bed, as he sees when he props himself up.

“Yep.” Kaito sits up completely and reaches over Aoko to grab them. “I can kinda walk a few steps. I’m still working on functioning feet, but I can at least use some of my thighs-- and really I’m just keeping myself upright only on arm strength because I’m, y’know, a totally ripped Adonis.” He flexes his arm as Keiko snorts.

[IMG2]

She then looks at the crutches, and then at him-- barely enough for Kaito to notice-- and then Not At Him, and says nothing.

“You gotta ask for what you want, Kei~ko,” Aoko sing-songs.

“Yeah, Kei~ko.” Kaito grins and pokes her in the shoulder with one of the crutches.

“Ah-- well!” She shies away from being poked again and adjusts her glasses. “Is it alright if I see...?”

“Of course you can, my lovely mademoiselle. Aaas soon as I remember where I put my braces.” He has vague memories of throwing them... somewhere... when he was super frustrated the other day with practicing walking on crutches.

“Braces too?” she asks.

“More stability,” Aoko says for him as she gets up from the bed. Not that more stability helps when he’s in pain. “Where did you leave them last?”

“Probably somewhere around the desk.” They were real close to getting thrown out the window, though. Last session with his crutches was... less than great.

“I don’t see them,” Aoko mutters “Are you sure they’re over here?”

“Not really.” In fact, he's decided he doesn't care where they are at all.

“Um--” Keiko hesitates. “If you’re too tired, you don’t have to.” Ah damn, he let it show on his face. “But-- but it’s really cool to know you’re making progress. You’re doing a really good job.”

He smiles. He doesn’t try to hide the fact that he’s tired, but the smile is real. “Thanks.”

Notes:

im legally obligated to shout out my friend's art because she accidentally drew basically the exact same thing without even knowing this scene exists

Chapter 17: a month

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Wednesday, August 18th

“Aoko is gonna stay over tonight.”

“I’ll get your stuff out.” Kaito wheels over to the hall closet and pulls down a blanket and pillow. “Is your dad gonna be here for dinner?”

“Nah, Dad’s definitely gonna stay out late tonight.” He hears Aoko rummaging around the kitchen cabinets for a cutting board. “He wouldn’t shut up this morning about how it’s been a month since Kaitou Kid’s last heist and that he’s gotta be planning something big or whatever. Bet he’ll be out till midnight at least.”

“Oh.” A month. A whole month? It’s-- today’s the 18th, holy shit. A Whole Month. “Yeah, that tracks.”

“Honestly, Aoko hopes he just does something and gets it over with. She’s tired of Dad whining about this.”

“Yeah,” he replies blankly. “I know he’s been stressed about it.” And, it’s hard to get the next sentence out, but he puts on his best poker face to sound confused and say, “Weird that Kid’s been gone for so long.” 

“If he does show his stupid fucking face again, Aoko’s gonna let him have it,” she says, a bite in her voice and a heavy hand on the knife that he can hear clacking much harder than necessary on the cutting board.

Kaito goes to his room to deposit the extra pillow and blankets when he realizes... he could tell her. He could do it right now, in fact. There won’t be any consequences about her knowing now, she wouldn’t be in any danger. It’s not like he’s ever gonna be Kaitou Kid again. Not when he’s like this. Not in this stupid broken body that’s in pain all the time and can’t walk, much less run or flip around or do anything he would need to do on a heist.

But. He can finally break down the barrier he made between them when he decided to put on the suit. Maybe he can repair everything he messed up with her while he was keeping secrets and pushing her out.

She’ll hate him.

He should tell her.

“Hey, Aoko...?” He calls out as he rounds the corner to the kitchen.

She doesn’t look up at him as she chops up vegetables. “Yeah?”

“I--” His mouth goes dry. Is he really gonna just--? He didn’t prepare himself for this. But he has to tell her. He shouldn’t-- he can’t keep this secret anymore, it was hard enough to keep this secret from her when he was actively being Kid. It’s useless to keep it secret now, isn’t it? Secrets, any secrets, have always just hurt them.

He can’t do it. “Do we have any mushrooms? Mom’s at the store, I can text her to pick some up if we’re out.”

~

“Hey,” Aoko says around a mouthful of toothpaste as she peeks her head out from the bathroom. “Do you need help?”

“Probably.” He lays down flat on his back in bed and pulls his left leg up so he can just get his hands around the back of his knee. “But I’m trying to get better at doing this on my own, so gimme a minute.” He pulls his leg forward, towards his chest, wincing as his knee protests the movement. “Ow-- dammit.”

He hears Aoko rinsing her mouth before she comes back out. 

“Might need a little help,” Kaito says. “Can’t quite rotate it all the way--” He lets his leg flop back on the mattress. “Maybe if I’d just gotten a complete injury then doing stretches wouldn’t hurt so much.”

“Maybe, but then you wouldn’t have a chance of walking again.” Aoko climbs on the bed with him. “Sit up.”

He can do that, at least. He does keep trying to do most of his stretches by himself, and Aoko helps him when he can’t quite push through the last bits of it. Soon enough he’ll be able to do this stuff on his own, but he’s glad for Aoko and Ginzou being so willing to help him.

“Is that it for tonight?”

“Mhm, yeah,” Kaito winces, rubbing a knuckle into his hip. “Ready for bed when you are.”

“Aoko needs to use the bathroom, hang on.”

Kaito settles in for bed, wedging a pillow between his knees before he lays down on his side. The bed is soft, and there shouldn’t be any reason to be worried about getting a pressure sore or anything since he can move around, but he’s got bony knees and since he sleeps on his side he was told to use a pillow to prevent his knees hitting together in the middle of the night. It’s one of the less weird things he was told to do, and it’s not like it’s any added discomfort, so whatever.

Aoko bounces back into bed after she turns off the light. She tosses the blanket over both of them. Kaito didn’t even realize he forgot to pull it up.

Today’s been... weird. He doesn’t know if he’ll be able to sleep. He’s not really in pain, which is good, the muscle relaxers are working. But, well-- other things. He really should be able to put them into words, but he’s not sure if he wants to.

“Kaito?” She sounds worried. She must’ve figured something is off. They can’t see each other in the dark, they’re not even touching each other, and he knows. “Are you feeling okay?”

“It’s been a month,” he says, voice muffled by the pillow he’s got his face half-buried in.

“Oh.”

She’s quiet.

“Do you need anything?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think so.” He mindlessly rubs his palm over the sheets. Something in the back of his mind says he’s trying to ground himself, but he doesn’t think it’s helping. He isn’t sure when his hands started shaking, but he notices it as Aoko covers the back of his hand with her own and stops him from rubbing the sheets anymore.

“Aoko held your hand like this,” she whispers. “In the hospital. Before you woke up.”

“Ginzou-ji said you fought a doctor to be let into my room.”

“Aoko woulda turned it physical too, if she wasn’t allowed in.”

“Heh.” He clenches his fist, but doesn’t move his hand out from under Aoko’s. “Sorry for making you worry so much.”

“Then don’t do anything else for Aoko to worry about, Bakaito.”

“I’ll try my best.” He turns his hand over, lacing their fingers together so they’re pressed palm to palm. “Promise.”

Notes:

and so we begin kaitos internal battle about secrets :)

Chapter 18: laundry

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Thursday, August 19th

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Notes:

one of the things i like about uploading the comic chapters is that i dont have to proofread them at all. i do my last minute art check before i upload them to flickr so i can just copy the html and bam, comic

i dont remember anymore, but it was either this chapter or the one after this that pushed me to draw comics instead of having this be 100% prose. i have no monologue or important observations from kaito for this scene. any inner dialogue he has is unimportant-- if he has any at all. hes just doing shit. and i Do Not know how to depict that in words. first and foremost i will always be a cartoonist

Chapter 19: dizzy

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Friday, August 20th

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Notes:

this chapter. this fucking chapter had me in shambles from start to finish. i dont know why. i struggled with doing prose, and then struggled with mixed prose and comic, and then i scripted out 6 pages and it turned into *9* pages once i sketched it.

Chapter 20: stop

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Saturday, August 21st

It’s when Kaito has finished taking care of his doves and playing with Chokochippu-- the one dove he let Aoko name-- that something twinges in his back. Kaito jerks and tenses up, rattling the wire wall of the fly cage he was leaning against and startling Chokochippu enough for her to jump back to the end of his knee. But she comes back to nudge at his balled up fist again just a moment later, demanding to be petted.

Kaito, however, stays stone still for a moment longer to will himself into... something. Hopefully, willing his body to not be in pain. It’ll go away. He probably twisted wrong (he’s been sitting still this whole time--) or just jarred something. (He hasn’t moved at all.) It’ll go away on its own.

He uncurls his hand slowly, making sure that his movement won’t cause any more pain. Chokochippu immediately pecks at his open palm, indignantly wondering why she isn’t getting attention. “Jeez, can’t a guy take a break for a minute?” He laughs. He rubs her cheeks with his thumb slowly. “Everyone else is fine playing with each other.” The other doves got bored of his presence a while ago, the closest ones are Copperfield and Henning preening each other on the coop next to him. “You’re so spoiled.”

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Notes:

this is:
1.) the longest comic in the fic. none of the other chapters reach double digits in pages.
2.) definitely saying something about me since the Pure Pain chapter is the longest one, but we been knew.
3.) the beginning of Shit Going Down :) the end of arc one is v e r y close.

Chapter 21: the fight

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Sunday, August 22nd

Kaito squints at the way too bright morning light coming in through the blinds and regrets that Aoko isn’t in bed with him. His back still kinda hurts from yesterday’s... thing. It’s hard to think, but he doesn’t wanna get up until he knows what he’s gonna do for the day. Usually he can talk out plans for the day with Aoko when he’s having trouble thinking about what needs to get done, but right now he’s on his own and nothing is processing right.

He slaps his hand around his pillow until he finds his phone and opens his notes, deleting the list from the last time he had to do this until it’s just the blinking cursor staring back at him on a blank screen. Okay. Best attempt at a list, go.

MORNING

  • stretch
  • skin check
  • shower
  • clothes
    • green shirt
    • jeans aoko sewed up
  • meds
  • breakfast
  • doves
    • let doves out
    • food
    • clean coop (opt
  • exercuse

AFTERNOON

  • foo d
  • trash
  • zelda
  • card drills
  • carfd
  • fn

Ow.

Good enough probably. Can’t think anymore. He’ll revisit plans after breakfast.

Kaito takes longer than necessary in the shower, pointing the showerhead on his legs long after he’s actually finished washing, watching the water run down them and hardly feeling any of it. He has more feeling in his left knee than he did before, and he can bend it more than he used to. He closes his eyes, enjoying the fact that he can feel the water on at least that much of his legs, before he finally decides that if he stays in here any longer he’s gonna throw himself off for the rest of the day.

He turns off the water and dries himself off, paying extra attention to the soles of his feet so he doesn’t slip while transferring from the shower chair back to his wheelchair. He also puts his towel down on the chair so he doesn’t get the cushion wet, just in case he missed anything.

He doesn’t have to purposefully stall while getting dressed. Putting on his underwear and pants while laying down is still a chore that he physically can’t do any faster than his current pace. It’ll just take practice to get better at it, he knows, but it’s still frustrating. He ends up giving up on the pants and puts on a skirt.

There’s no real reason to stall, he’s just... tired. He hoped the shower would help, but it hasn’t done much.

He’ll deal with it. He just needs to get through the day, like every other day.

~

He makes it past lunch, and he’s honestly feeling better. Pain died down, his head is clearer, and he’s got a more complete plan for what to do for the rest of the day. He just has to finish chores-- taking out the trash-- and he can get on to more fun stuff.

It takes Kaito a minute to yank it out of the bin and tie it off. “Hey,” he turns to Chikage, washing her plate at the sink. “Can we get a smaller trash bin? This is kinda bulky to carry.”

“Sure, sweetie, we can do that.” She puts the plate on the drying rack and walks towards him. “Here, I’ll get this for you.” Chikage snatches the bag right out of his hands.

“Oh. Okay.” He was perfectly fine doing that by himself. “Thanks.”

Well he’ll just occupy himself with... something else. She abandoned the dishes to stop him from taking out trash when he was fine, so he can just take her chore instead.

Ah, she already finished the dishes. Never mind. Great. Just... snatched a chunk of his day right out of his hands. It’s not a huge change, but he has to take a step back (metaphorically--) to reorient himself. Next thing on his plans for the day. It was... free time? Right, he wanted to make some progress in Phantom Hourglass.

He gets his game and goes to the couch, but Chikage approaches just as he’s about to get out of his wheelchair. “Your school doesn’t have an elevator, does it?”

“It does. It’s kind of in a weird place, but I’ve seen it before.”

Chikage hums. Kaito preps himself for something that’s sure to be a weird question or a useless suggestion about some inane thing.

“What do you think about moving to America with me?”

What.

[IMG1]

“No,” he snaps. “No, I don’t want to move to America with you.”

“Just hear me out. I do still have business in Vegas, but I don’t want to leave you alone.”

Oh, big fucking words--

“If you’re with me, it will be easier for me to help, and to get you accommodations. I know it’s a big change, especially since you’ve been going through a lot. But this would also be a good opportunity to find you a new school that can accommodate you more than Ekoda High can. We can find a house that only has one floor. I really think this might be better for you in the long run.”

“How would you know?”

Kaito... didn’t entirely mean to say that.

“I’m your mother, sweetie.”

“So?” He’s apparently saying this, whether he wants to or not. “That doesn’t mean anything.”

He doesn’t see Chikage actually falter, but she pauses before she reaches a hand for his shoulder and says, “I know this has been hard--”

“NO!” Kaito swats her hand away before she can grab him, and he wishes he could say he’s more angry than panicked. “No, you don’t, you don’t know, stop saying you do!”

Chikage carefully stands up straight, the slight confusion on her face turning to full blown concern. She opens her mouth, and Kaito cuts her off before she can speak.

“I can’t just pack up and go with you.” He can’t he won’t he can’t. “I don’t wanna leave my whole life behind just because it would be slightly more convenient!”

“I wouldn’t ask you to move for just small conveniences,” she says gently.

“But you’ll take two whole weeks to come home after I break my back,” he seethes.

“That’s the point. I wasn’t able to drop everything in America right away, so it took me a while to come back. But if you’re with me, we won’t have to worry about that.”

Kaito’s blood boils. “Shut up!” He grits his teeth, his whole body tenses, and he wants more than anything to stand up from this stupid fucking chair and run away. “What good is moving even gonna do? You-- even before you left the country, you were gone all the time, off to-- to who knows where!” He throws an arm out, gesturing to the void. “How do I know you won’t just run off again? Huh? And then I’ll just get ignored in America instead of getting ignored in Japan!”

“I haven’t--”

“YOU HAVE!” His voice nearly cracks with how tight his throat is. He’s fighting to keep down the waver when he yells, “You didn’t even call me after I broke my back. You barely call outside of that. You’ve been gone for like-- like a year, and the one time you visit, you know what you did?”

He breathes hard in the lull, daring her to say it, but can’t wait long enough to get the satisfaction of hearing her admit it before spitting it out himself. “You pretended to be Dad.” His next inhale is shaky, it hitches in his throat, but he still manages to muster venom for his next sentence. “To test me.”

“Kaito... that--” Chikage moves towards him, and Kaito doesn’t stop to think about what she’s doing, just grabs his wheels and yanks himself backwards and out of arm’s reach.

When he actually looks up to see what Chikage did, he finds her kneeling on the floor in front of where Kaito was just a moment before. He’s still breathing heavily from adrenaline fear he desperately wishes he could mask, she’s quiet for God only knows what reason, and the empty space between them is a chasm.

The silence that follows lets him take in Chikage’s nonreaction, the carefully crafted concern that’s far too calm for this situation. She won’t match any emotions Kaito antes up, and he doesn’t have much left to throw in the pot.

It also lets him register his own body, the fact that his heart is pounding, he’s shaking, and the hitches in his throat have turned to tears on his face.

“Fuck you,” he croaks. He doesn’t look or wait for a reaction. “Fuck all of this.” He doesn’t care. He just wants to leave. “You--” Stand, run, escape. He scrubs at his face in a useless attempt to look presentable, intimidating, anything but scared. “You wanna go back to America?” Kaito looks directly up at her, eyes burning. “Go back by yourself.”

“Kaito...”

It’s hard to get a “running” start in a wheelchair, but he pushes himself as fast as he can past Chikage and to the front door.

“Hold on, wait--”

“Fuck off!” He yanks the door open and slams it behind him. He isn't even sure where he’s going, aside from away.

He ends up stopping a street down, still in the neighborhood. He isn’t tired or anything, he just stops pushing, and slowly rolls to a halt. Chikage didn’t follow him.

Now what?

He wants to cry. He kind of is crying already, hitching breaths and silent tears without actually sobbing. He feels-- must look-- like a mess. He doesn’t even have any shoes on. He should’ve at least grabbed a pair and stuck them in his lap or something.

Kaito stares at the empty sidewalk for a minute, letting the strong wind whip his hair around, before he decides he doesn’t want someone to try and “help” him because they think he’s some poor lost kid in a wheelchair. He checks his pocket-- his phone is there, thank God. He scrubs his tears off his face and texts Aoko.

The neighborhood park is less than a block away from their houses. It’s got a small playground for kids, an artificial lake, and a good amount of thick trees that give good shade for picnics. There’s a sidewalk that makes a circle around the lake, so it’s not hard for Kaito to go to the side opposite of the playground where the people are gathered. It takes him extra time to get himself into a wheelie to go on the grass to get underneath a tree, he’s not really the best at offroading yet, but he’s good enough to get the few feet away from the sidewalk and into the shade.

The wind is still going strong, which is welcome for this time of year. He stares out at the lake, the summer sun reflecting off of it like a beacon that burns his eyes, but he can’t look away. He’s shaking still, and he pretends it’s from the wind, but it’s too hot to be shivering.

Kaito nearly jumps out of his skin when Aoko comes up behind him. “Hey, what’s going on?”

“I--”

He doesn’t know. He knows, yeah, but that... he isn’t sure what just happened. If it really did happen. Chikage having the nerve, and Kaito having the guts, and... it feels...

Kaito pushes himself out of his chair. With no crutches or braces, his legs crumple beneath him instantly and he’s just barely caught by Aoko, yelling his name. “What are you doing?!”

[IMG2]

“I don’t know.” Aoko helps him get into a sitting position on the ground where his legs aren’t underneath him. He can’t feel the grass. “I don’t--” He’s shaking. His hip hurts from trying to stand so suddenly. “I had to-- this is real. In my dreams, I can still walk, but this is. Real. Just now, I--” 

“Kaito. Hey, Kaito, what’s going on? Why’d you come all the way out here?”

“My mom said I should go and live with her in America.”

“What? No, you can’t move away!”

“I’m not gonna-- I won’t. She can’t make me.” He takes in a shaky breath. “She can’t make me. I-- we had a fight.” If his one-sided screaming can be called a fight.

“Are you okay?”

“No,” he laughs bitterly. “No, I don’t think so. I think--” Oh. “I think I hate her. I think I’ve hated her for a long time.” He hiccups, breath catching in his throat. “I shouldn’t hate my own mom. That’s not normal, right?” Kaito scrubs tears out of his eyes before they can fall. “I just. I didn’t think about it, ‘cause it’s normal. Ginzou-ji stays at work, and Chikage-san stays abroad. I didn’t know I hated her for it.”

He feels Aoko tense up, her hand gripping his shoulder a little too tight.

Wait, no, he didn’t mean it like-- “I didn’t mean-- Ginzou-ji’s not like her. I just meant I didn’t think about it ‘cause of that. He’s nothing like Chi-- like my--” He hesitates. “Like... Chikage-san.”

“...How long have you been calling her that?”

“I don’t know. I’ve called her by name over the phone a couple of times, I think. When I was pissed at her.” She never commented on it. “Then I just...” He chokes. “I guess I just kept on...” He breaks off in a sob. It’s about time.

He kinda wants to apologize to Aoko for falling apart on her. He kinda wants to scream into the void of the lake. He kinda wants to go back home and keep screaming at Chikage until his throat is raw. He doesn’t do any of that, he just cries. It’s so, so much better to hug Aoko when he’s crying. She fits, he’s not second guessing if he really wants comfort, and he actually feels better instead of being high strung when he cries himself out.

Aoko doesn’t let go. He doesn’t want her to. They stay that way a good while, in the heat and wind that dries the last of the tears on his face.

“You can’t stay on the ground,” she reminds him quietly, long after he’s finished crying.

Right. He doesn’t have his chair cushion beneath him. “Yeah,” he mumbles and pulls away from her.

“...I guess you don’t wanna go back to your house.”

“No.”

“We can... hide out in my room?”

“Mhm.” He sniffs again.

“...You gonna be okay?”

“I wanna sleep for a week.”

“That’s not what Aoko asked,” she says sternly.

“I... will be. Just. Not now. I don’t wanna think about it right now.”

Aoko opens her mouth to say something, but she closes it, pauses for a moment, then sighs. “Let’s just go home, then. Aoko will help you up.”

He knows he’ll be okay. He has to be. But like so many other things, it doesn’t feel possible right now. He doesn’t know what’s gonna happen, what he’s gonna say to Chikage when he goes back home.

It’ll be okay though, because it has to be. It’ll be okay because he has Aoko with him.

~

Kaito asks to stay the night, and Aoko is taken aback not really because he asks, but because of how he asks. That kind of thing is just a casual question for them, the answer is pretty much always yes. But he asks it quietly, like he’s afraid she’ll say no. Aoko has to collect herself before she can say yes, of course, she just needs to grab an extra blanket for him.

They don’t really do anything interesting the rest of the afternoon. Aoko spends her time with a couple of sculpey figurines she planned to finish details on today anyway, and Kaito steals her laptop and holes up in her bed. They spend their time in familiar silence, though heavier than usual. Her dad doesn’t come home for dinner, so she pulls Kaito into the kitchen to make something, to give him something to do with his hands.

She doesn’t say a single thing about what happened at the park until she gets in bed after Kaito. She doesn’t lay down just yet, just pulls her blanket over her legs. She looks down at Kaito, face half-buried in his pillow, and asks, “Were you just crying because of the fight?” Aoko is no stranger to crying when angry, but that’s something she does. Kaito doesn’t do that. Kaito doesn’t cry much at all, barring, well, everything that’s happened with the accident. But that’s understandable. Anyone would. But Kaito wouldn’t cry over a fight. “Did anything else happen?”

“No.” He doesn’t look at her. “It wasn’t even really a fight. I just yelled at her a lot.” He buries his face further in the pillow, mumbling, “She didn’t even yell back.”

She doesn’t know what to say. 

“I kinda just lost it. I left so she wouldn’t see me cry.” He finally looks up at her. “But I just cried on you instead. Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She lays down to be face to face with him. “Aoko’s cried on you plenty of times before. She’s just returning the favor now.”

“Mm.”

“Aoko means it. Don’t feel bad about it.” She shuffles closer and pulls the blanket up, her face half on Kaito’s pillow and the back of her hands brushing against his. “It’s okay.”

“...It’ll be okay,” he agrees, hesitancy heavy in his voice.

“It’ll be okay,” she repeats again, much quieter. “Hug?”

“Hug,” he mumbles back, already wrapping his arms around her. “Thanks.”

Notes:

yeaAAAAAAH FINALLY FEELS GOOD TO GET THIS OUT AFTER RILING YALL UP WITH CHIKAGE BULLSHIT

Chapter 22: the talk

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Monday, August 23rd

“Kaito, we need to talk,” Chikage says when Kaito comes back from staying the night at Aoko’s house. He stayed late, it’s near dinnertime when he finally comes home. Chikage didn’t call or text or ask after Kaito at all while he was with Aoko.

“I don’t have the energy to talk about it right now,” he says as he moves past her. “Can it... wait a little while? Please?”

“...Yeah. Alright, we can wait a bit.”

He avoids her the rest of the day.

~Tuesday, August 24th

Chikage corners him when he’s outside that morning to feed the doves. “We should talk about what happened.”

“Maybe tomorrow.” He holds out his hand to Copperfield, who’s decided that his wheel is an excellent place for her to perch. “Step up,” he murmurs to her. She hops up onto his finger and he deposits her on the shoulder that isn’t occupied by Chokochippu. He turns back to Chikage, just barely looking at her over Chokochippu. “I need to take care of my doves right now.”

She sighs, but caves in. “Fine. Tomorrow.”

He spends the rest of the day at Aoko’s house, only coming back after dark. Chikage isn’t in the living room to comment on the time. He goes straight to bed.

~Wednesday, August 25th

“We need to sit down and talk,” Chikage says when Kaito gets out of the shower. “I’m not letting you put this off any longer.”

“I’m sitting. We’re talking.”

“Kaito. You know what I mean. You can’t put this off forever.”

“I could.”

“We need to talk about this.”

“...Fine.” He wheels past her. “Where do you want to sit down and have a talk?” he asks.

“The table is fine.”

Chikage sits, and Kaito rolls up to the table in the spot where a chair’s been removed for him. He keeps his arms crossed, elbows on the table.

She starts, “Kaito--”

“You used Dad’s face to test me,” he interrupts. He thinks he already said this before, but he isn’t sure. It’s been a blur since the fight. But does she get it? Does she even-- “I had nightmares about Kaitou Corbeau for weeks.”

Chikage seems shocked. Some bitter part of him wonders if that shock is even real or if she’s just putting it on. “You never said that you...” She puts her hands up to her mouth, glancing away from him for a good long while before looking him in the eye, voice steady. “It wasn’t my intention to--” 

“What was your intention, then? Tell me.”

“To take you off guard. You have to be prepared for anything, as a phantom thief.”

“Well, you did it. Congratulations. I was so taken off guard that I had a panic attack as soon as the heist was over, and you were gone by the time I got home.”

She stays quiet. Kaito balls his fists up so tightly they shake. 

“You were gone,” he says again, throat tightening around his words. “Just like you always are. How can you expect me to go to America with you when you’re never here, and when you are, you-- you pull shit like that.”

Chikage sighs. “Sweetie, I know--” She hesitates. “Kaito. I know I haven’t always been here. And I know that I was less attentive than I should have been after your dad died too. And I probably shouldn’t have disguised as Touichi--”

Probably,” Kaito snaps.

“...I shouldn’t have done that.”

“You shouldn’t have.”

“Right. You’ve made all of that clear.” She’s still so impossibly calm, not showing any stress or escalating the conversation like Kaito keeps trying to do. He doesn’t have the energy for it though, he doesn’t know why he’s even trying. “But we can work on this.”

“No. No, I can’t deal with this right now,” Kaito admits. “I can’t-- I don’t want to work on this while I’m still getting used to losing my legs. I’m just--” his brain is running too fast for his mouth to keep up. “I don’t want to deal with this.”

“You have to. We have to.”

“Not now. Please. I don’t know where to start with this. With you. Even before you came home, I’ve been-- I’m so fucking stressed I can’t even think. And now you’re here, and I can’t...”

“Ah,” Chikage says blankly. She takes a breath like she’s about to speak, but then holds it, pausing a long while before speaking again. “...And I’m adding to it.”

“Yeah. Yeah.” He can’t even sound angry. He doesn’t know if he’s angry anymore-- his shaking hands probably mean he’s still angry, but all he can feel right now is tired. “I can’t do this right now.”

“What would you like to do about it, then?” she asks.

Kaito opens his mouth. Closes it. Closes his fists around the fabric of his pants. “I don’t want to deal with this,” he says again, quieter. He should be grateful that she’s asking him, not just deciding something and immediately doing it, but his head hurts.

Another silence falls over the room, and Kaito can’t bring himself to break it just yet. He’s said his piece. He doesn’t know what else to do. He doesn’t entirely know how to solve this-- well. No. He knows how to solve it. He knows what would stop him from being so on edge in his own freaking house, what would help him be able to focus on living with his new disability instead of this mess with Chikage.

“I just wanna be alone.”

There. He said it.

“I’ve given you time alone,” she points out.

“I want--” he swallows. “I want to be alone.” Kaito is looking away from her, because he can’t look her in the eye when he says it. “You wanna go back to America anyway, right?” He doesn’t think he has the right to make this kind of demand. But this is what he would like to do about it. If he has a choice, then...

“You want me to leave again, then?” Now she sounds concerned in the way that mothers should be, that Chikage never actually is with Kaito. “Is that what you really want?”

Kaito refrains from saying that she left a long time ago, and that ship has already sailed. He’s hammered that point in enough. “I think it is.”

Chikage sighs. Disappointed? Upset? Resigned? Hell if he knows. She’s still got a tight leash on her expression. The only thing he can find in her face is a tiredness as she looks into the distance. She sits up straight, still not looking Kaito in the eye. “Alright.” She stands up. “I’ll book a flight.”

“I’m--” 

Chikage stops and turns, waiting for Kaito to continue. 

“I’m sorry,” he says, because he feels like he has to. He isn’t sure if he means it yet. This is her house. She’s his mother. And he’s telling her to get out. Everything is backwards right now. This isn’t right, but he doesn’t think he can take it anymore. “We can still... call.” Maybe it’ll be easier to talk to her if he has the option to hang up on her.

“Alright.” She smiles: soft, sad, the first expression that he thinks has been real all night.

“Sorry,” he says again.

[IMG1]

“...Me too,” she says before she walks out.

Notes:

and uh. yeah thats where all this was leading up. *jazzhands*

this is actually one of the first major plot points i struggled with, because logically no chikage shouldnt leave, but i couldnt see her staying without a whole lot more drama and fighting and basically unintentionally blocking kaitos recovery, even if shes trying to give kaito space

and. ultimately. this doesnt feel out of character for her.

this chapter is fairly short but the next one is longer than usual so look forward to that ;)

Chapter 23: the aftermath

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Thursday, August 26th

Kaito wonders if Chikage will take it back, if she’ll say that she needs to stay after all and just ignore the fact that she’s the cause of all his extra stress in an attempt to be a good mother.

She doesn’t. They barely even talk.

Chikage makes breakfast, and shouts to tell Kaito that it’s ready. By the time he’s dressed and in his chair, she’s no longer in the kitchen.

He gets through all his morning chores, and doesn’t see hide nor hair of her. Then again, he tries to make himself as scarce as possible as well. Maybe she’s keeping an eye out as well, hiding but wondering if Kaito will come looking.

He won’t come looking.

She doesn’t either.

~

“I’m going to get in touch with your school tomorrow,” Chikage says casually, cleaning up the counters after the dinner that she ate in the kitchen and he took to the living room so he could watch TV (and not have to talk to her). “I’ll sort out things for you there before I leave. Do you want to be there for it?”

“Not really.” He puts his plate in the sink. “Not unless you need me.”

“I think I just need to get you excused from gym and chores. I’ll let you know if I need you for anything.”

“...Alright. Thanks.” He means it. He knows he sounds apathetic, and maybe he should try to say it again, but he doesn’t have the energy to. He leaves the kitchen.

~Friday, August 27th

Aoko dumps the laundry basket out on her bed, half on Kaito’s lap, because he’s looking too gloomy and Aoko thinks she needs to give him something to do.

“Rude.” He shoves the laundry into a pile next to him and pulls an off-the-shoulder shirt out from the pile. “Oh hey, I was looking for this.”

“Yeah, Aoko took it back last week when she went out with Keiko.” She jumps onto the bed with him. “You can take it again if you wanna wear it.”

“Maybe. I just like knowing where everything is.”

“Fair.”

They get through about half the pile before Kaito says, “I settled things with Chikage-san.”

“Ah! That’s great! What happened?”

“She booked a flight back to Vegas. She’s leaving Sunday morning.”

“Wait, she...” Aoko sits up straighter. “She’s what? She’s just leaving?"

“Yeah.”

“What the hell! She can’t just-- again? And right after you--”

“I asked her to.” He takes another shirt to fold. “She wanted to go back to America anyway, so she’s going back by herself.”

Aoko feels all the anger leave her body in a rush. She knows he said that he hates his mom for being gone so much, but...

She can’t even ask why, what happened, why.

Kaito answers anyway. “It’s... hard to be in the same house as her. She was making things worse.” He adjusts the folded stack of clothes next to him. “The last time she came home, she--” Kaito stops. He doesn’t look her in the eye, she thinks he looks like he’s about to cry again. “She did some things that you don’t know about. And I’m not really comfortable talking about it, not even with you. So please, just... don’t ask.”

Not even with...? Her heart sinks to her stomach. “You’re sure you don’t--?”

“I don’t.”

“...Okay. Aoko won’t ask.”

“Thanks,” he says quietly, still not looking up from his folding.

She doesn’t understand. She doesn’t know what’s going on. She won’t pry, not when he’s so... upset? Hurt? Hurt. She doesn’t know what Chikage could have done to make Kaito react like this.

Chikage is...

She had thought Chikage was...

Chikage has always been...

Aoko wants to say she can remember her mom’s face, but it would be a lie. They have pictures of her mom, the last one of her taken was when Aoko was four. She knows her mom’s face in static pictures and a handful of home videos. Aoko has the same nose and mouth, same curly hair she did, the same eye color but not shape. They’re both short, but her mom was paler as well as much more slender than Aoko is. Her dad kept some of her mom’s clothes, but Aoko doesn’t fit in any of them.

Her mom is a strange and distant memory that she doesn’t have. Trying to picture her mom on her own, without using photos and videos to fill in the blanks, the only face that slots into the empty space is Chikage.

Chikage took Aoko clothes shopping when she was a kid. Chikage taught her how to do makeup. Chikage is the one who took her out for ice cream when she cried after getting her first period. Chikage told her that she’s allowed to take up space and stand up for herself and she can still be cute while doing it. It wasn’t perfect. She got mad at Chikage sometimes, like she gets mad at her dad.

And fighting is normal at least on some level, right? She and her dad fight. Kaito and her dad fight. She and Kaito fight. Maybe more than normal families do, she knows that they’re all pretty loud and abrasive at times. But it’s never anything serious, not usually.

This isn’t normal fighting. Kaito doesn’t cry about normal family fights.

Kaito wouldn’t refuse to talk to her if it was anything normal.

Kaito rarely refuses to talk to her about anything.

She can’t even begin to imagine what Chikage did.

~

Dinner is quiet, and Ginzou chalks it up to Kaito and Aoko being tired from a long day. It’s only when they’re cleaning up that he asks Kaito, “How come your mom didn’t want to come over for dinner?”

“Busy.” He snaps the tupperware closed and heads to the fridge. “She was talking to the school about me today, and then had to contact some friends to fill in for shows she cancelled.”

“It’s kinda late, why’s she doing it now?”

Kaito puts the leftovers in the fridge. “Time crunch. She’s going back to America in a few days.”

Ginzou nods, ready to accept it, but then he registers what Kaito said. “She’s what?”

“Going back to America. She booked a flight.”

“She’s what?!"

Going back to America,” Kaito snaps back. “Do I have to say it again?”

“That’s not-- it’s barely been a few weeks. And she’s just leaving? You can’t be okay with this.” Ginzou sure as hell isn’t.

“I mean I’m glad she won’t be hovering around and being all worried.” Kaito shrugs. “She’s better up on stage anyway, y’know? She should be doing shows and stuff, not taking care of me.”

“She can still do shows here in Japan instead of America,” Ginzou argues.

Kaito just shrugs again. “That’s where she’s made her name. More stable work. It’s fine.”

Kaito obviously doesn’t want to argue. Ginzou doesn’t want to goad him into it. Aoko has kept quiet the whole conversation, he realizes just now.

Before he can comment on anything else, Kaito announces that he’s going home. Almost as soon as Kaito is out the door, Ginzou turns to Aoko. “Is Kaito-kun really okay with his mom leaving so soon?”

She freezes in her tracks, midway to her room. “Kaito said he hates his mom.”

“He said that?” He keeps his voice even, barely. He's gonna give Chikage an earful after this.

Aoko turns towards him fully, her hands fiddling with her skirt. “Obachan asked him to come to America with her, and they... had a fight.” She looks at the floor. “Kaito called Aoko after it, and he... he said he hated her.”

Ginzou wishes he were more surprised about this new information. He had a few concerns when Chikage left so suddenly-- when was it, over a year ago now? Nearing two? But it’s not like there was anything he could do about it, so it just became background noise. Kaito had always been fairly self sufficient, and he came over to their house more often, and things seemed fine. Obviously, he was wrong. “Chikage-san leaving-- the first time I mean, that had to be hard on him. And for her to leave again...”

“Kaito was the one who asked her to leave.”

He can’t even ask “What?” out loud. He feels like he’s asking that too much today. But that can’t be right, can it?

“Kaito said that they... that she was making things worse, and--” Her breath hitches in her throat, getting quicker as her voice gets tighter. “--and he wouldn’t even talk to Aoko about it, and--”

“Aoko, hey, come here.” Ginzou quickly pulls her into a hug. “It’s okay. You don’t have to talk about it right now.” She just needs to calm down right now. This is an entire mess and a half, and he needs to do damage control with Aoko before anything else. He’s rattled, she’s gotta be having it way worse. He’s not gonna make her talk about it, not now.

He does need to talk to someone else about it, though.

~Saturday, August 28th

Kaito is hiding in the Kid workshop, doing card drills. When Chikage was out earlier in the day he came in here to tinker so he wouldn’t have to see her when she came back to the house. She hasn’t come looking for him. He’s sure she knows he’s in here, but she hasn’t intruded. They haven’t said much to each other since they agreed she should go back to America alone. He can be grateful for that at least, that she’s already decided to leave him alone even though they’re still in the same house for the time being.

It’s soundproof in here, for obvious reasons, but there’s a ding that lets him know someone rang the doorbell. He sets aside his cards and moves over to the computer to turn it on and see who’s at the door. Having security cameras in the house definitely has its perks.

It’s Ginzou at the door. Kaito almost turns off the screen and just lets it be, since he’s sure Chikage will just tell him that Kaito is out of the house at the moment, but... he keeps it on and turns the sound up just before she opens the door.

“Chikage-san, we need to talk.”

Oh. Hm. Well, this will be interesting.

“Sure, come in!”

He switches to the camera in the living room. He can’t really make out their faces, but he can see that Chikage is standing tall and calm. Ginzou looks like he’s about to rip her head off.

[IMAGE1]

“What’d you wanna talk about?”

“You’re leaving,” Ginzou snaps.

“I am.” She doesn’t even miss a beat.

“You can’t just... what’s wrong with you?”

“I know how it seems, but this is something Kaito and I decided after thinking about it for a long time.”

“You’re leaving your disabled son all alone. Your recently disabled son. It’s barely been a month.”

“Well he won’t be alone, will he? He’ll have you and Aoko-chan, and Jii-san as well.” That’s her customer service voice, the one she uses to placate people-- usually angry people in public. It’s the voice she used on Kaito and Aoko when they were kids to de-escalate their petty arguments.

“So he’s just-- you’re just going to avoid responsibility for him? Like he’s some kind of problem you can just hoist on someone else?”

“It’s a lot more complicated than that.”

Complicated,” Ginzou seethes.

What’s she gonna tell him?

“Yes. Kaito and I... haven’t been on the best of terms for a while. It’s unfortunate, and I’m sure being abroad didn’t help my case. But Kaito did say he wanted to be left alone for the time being.” She has the gall to sound upset in that fake tone. At least she actually seemed like she regretted her choices when she and Kaito were talking yesterday.

“Kaito said he wanted to be left alone?” He doesn’t sound surprised, just angry.

“He did.”

“And that’s all it takes for you to leave? Even if you’re not on great terms, this isn’t something that can be fixed by leaving.”

“It doesn’t fix it. But it makes the situation better.”

“For you.” Ginzou is practically snarling.

“No. For him.” Her tone is as even as it’s always been. “But it’s not my place to tell you why.”

...He appreciates that. He half expected her to spin an excuse that he would have to go along with. But she’s leaving it in his hands.

Kaito doesn’t wanna deal with talking to Ginzou about this, but he wants Chikage to be in control of how much Ginzou knows even less.

He turns the screen off.

Kaito wants to scream.

~

Ginzou wants to scream.

He needs a drink.

He needs a drink with someone, specifically.

He had never been to the Blue Parrot before Kaito got injured, but after getting in touch with Jii he learned that he’s been running this bar since he left the magician scene. He visited once before just to check the place out, but this time he comes after closing time. He sees Jii wiping down the counter through the glass portion of the door, and he startles when Ginzou knocks. Ginzou tests the handle and finds it unlocked, so he steps in.

“Nakamori-keibu, what are you doing here?”

No point in beating around the bush. “Chikage-san is taking a plane back to Vegas in a few days.”

“She’s taking-- what?” Jii exclaims.

“Yeah. Sorry for bugging you after closing, but there wasn’t a good way to have this conversation over the phone.”

"Why?"

Ginzou sighs as he sits down on the stool. “You might wanna pour one out for this.”

Jii doesn’t hesitate to get them both a drink, thank God. “She’s really going back?”

“Yep.” Ginzou pulls the glass close.

“I can’t believe she...” Jii sits down on a stool next to him. “I knew Okusama fairly well back in the day, you know.” 

Ginzou takes a swig while he pauses. 

“Of course I was worried when she started traveling so often, especially since Kaito-bocchama was only in middle school. But I... wasn’t surprised about it. I know how she thinks, but-- but I can’t believe she’s leaving again. Now. When Bocchama is...” He shakes his head. “What’s she thinking?”

“Well I don’t know what she’s thinking, but...” Jesus Christ, this is a mess. Ginzou runs a hand over his face. “God. I don’t know if they want it shared, but I think you should know. Kaito is the one who asked her to leave.”

Jii says nothing. Ginzou knows the feeling. He takes another drink. “I talked to Chikage-san too, and she said that they’re not on great terms.” But that shouldn’t be enough justification to leave Kaito alone, even if Kaito asked. She shouldn’t be leaving him alone again. “Did you know about any of this?” Ginzou doubts he does. But he has to ask.

“No,” he says, shock still written all over his face. “No, I didn’t.”

Talking to Chikage was frustratingly unhelpful. He doesn’t have any behind the scenes insight to give Jii. He didn’t even know anything was wrong until now. It seems like Aoko didn’t either, from how she reacted earlier. If he’s being honest, leaving like that really is all it could take for this rift to form. Not being there. But, what Chikage said, that it isn’t her place to tell... And what Aoko said, that Kaito refused to talk about whatever’s going on. There’s something else at play here that none of them know about.

~Sunday, August 29th

Ginzou can’t sleep. How is he supposed to, with all this? Talking with Chikage today was exhausting, and his mind is still racing. Though it’s past three in the morning, so he supposes he actually talked to her yesterday. And he’s managed to do exactly nothing except stare at a wall in the dark for the past couple of hours. He might as well read or do something else mind-numbing to make himself pass out. He reaches for his phone on the bedside table, but it’s not there. He has vague memories of leaving it on the kitchen table with his keys, so he hauls himself up to go find it.

Opening his bedroom door, he squints. Did Aoko leave the light on in the living room? He walks into the room to find Kaito laying on the couch, his wheelchair in arms reach next to him. Huh, Ginzou hadn’t realized he was over. Kaito loses his ability to walk and he can still sneak around without anyone even noticing. The kid is never gonna change. “What are you doing up?”

Kaito only glances up briefly before he goes back to reading some manga that Ginzou doesn’t recognize. “I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. Came out here to read so I wouldn’t wake up Aoko.”

Ginzou grunts in acknowledgement. Same problem he’s having, then. Poor kid. He’s the one caught in the middle of all this mess, he can’t even imagine what he’s going through right now. Especially on top of everything else he’s dealing with. He’s about to go to the kitchen to try and find his phone, but he stops and turns back to Kaito. “Hey, are you really okay about all of this?”

“Hm?” Kaito fully looks up at Ginzou. “Okay about what?”

“Your mother.”

Kaito squints at him. “Diiidn’t we already have this conversation?” He turns back to his manga and flips a page. “Like I said, it’s fine.”

“Kaito-kun.” Ginzou crosses his arms. “I talked to Chikage-san. I know what happened with you and her.”

He very slowly closes the manga and sets it down on the couch. “Oh.”

“Now, I’ll ask again. Are you okay?”

Kaito hesitates. He sits up and grabs his legs to swing them over the edge of the couch. It takes him another moment after that to say, “I’ll be okay once she’s gone.”

Ginzou feels just a little bit like he got punched in the gut. Yeah, sure, he heard it from Aoko, and a bit of a nicer version from Chikage, but it feels different coming straight from Kaito himself.

He sits down next to Kaito. “Can you tell me about what happened?”

“Do I have to?”

“Like I said, I talked to Chikage-san. I’d like to hear your side of it.”

“She asked me to come to America with her. I told her to go back by herself.”

“I already know about that part,” Ginzou says patiently.

“She was never here before. Does it matter so much that she’s leaving again?”

“It’s not just because she left.” Half a question, half an observation. He doesn’t want to push Kaito too hard right now, it’s so easy to make him clam up, but he needs some kind of information here.

Kaito doesn’t look at him for a long while. “No, it wasn’t.” 

Ginzou doesn’t ask, he just gives Kaito the opportunity to continue. 

“There was--” he stops short. “When she visited a few months ago, she--” he cuts himself off again. His hands are balled into tight fists and starting to shake. “I’m not sure how to...”

Shit, maybe he shouldn’t have asked. “You don’t have to tell me.”

“I don’t think I can explain it anyway,” Kaito laughs, voice wavering. “But you should know I had--” He stops once again, this time going silent for a long while.

“You don’t have to tell me,” Ginzou says again.

“I had nightmares about it.”

Never mind. Ginzou is going to kill her. “The hell did--”

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” he says in a rush. “But just-- I need you to know that I can’t deal with her, okay? I can’t even look at her. I can’t do it. That’s why we decided she should... go back by herself.”

“Does she know that she hurt you?” he snaps. Chikage barely seemed fazed by everything, when Ginzou talked to her. A little upset, a little regretful, but he couldn’t figure out anything else about what was going on just from how she was acting.

“She does now that I’ve told her, yeah.”

He’s in over his head. Ginzou has no idea what Chikage could have possibly done. He can't imagine Chikage doing something this damaging to her own son even on accident, but there’s no mistaking how badly it’s affected Kaito.

“I can’t tell you what she did, but-- fuck,” Kaito’s voice finally breaks.

“It hurt you.” He would have to be blind to not see the fact that she’s hurt him, somehow. He still wants to know, but... “That’s... all I need to know.”

“So it-- it’s not that weird to hate her,” Kaito says, choked around tears that are starting to form in his eyes. “I can hate her, right? Am I allowed to hate her?”

“C’mere, kid.” Ginzou pulls Kaito closer, keeping an arm around his shoulders. “I don’t know what she did, but I can’t tell you how to feel. If you gotta be angry, just be angry.” Kaito leans into the hug and Ginzou rubs his shoulder. “If you gotta cry, you can do that too.” 

“I don’t wanna cry about this again.”

Again. Jesus. Ginzou sighs. “Do you need anything right now?”

“No.”

“Do you want me to stay?”

“...Yeah.”

“Alright. I’ll stay as long as you need.”

~

Ginzou barely keeps himself from speeding.

He tried to catch Chikage that morning before she left, but he only realized she was leaving as he heard a car approach. By the time he got his shoes on and got the door open, he could see the taxi leaving. He grabbed his keys, and followed. He lost track of them at some point, but he knows the airport they’re heading towards. He can still catch her, he tells himself. He’ll get something out of her. He has to.

She’s at the second gate he checks, just passing through customs.

“Chikage-san!” he shouts, stopping short at the roped-off lines. “Just five minutes, give me an explanation!” He’s sure he looks like a madman, someone chasing after an ex who’s leaving him, some rom-com bullshit from movies that he doesn’t watch.

Chikage just smiles at him. Warm and inviting, or it would be if it reached her eyes. “We did always say that you’re better at this than I am, remember?”

No. No, that was supposed to be a joke. That wasn’t supposed to be true.

[IMAGE2]

She turns on her heel and walks away.

Chikage!

But she’s gone. She’s already through customs, and he can’t follow when she rounds the corner and disappears.

He doesn’t know what happened. He doesn’t know what she did, what she could have done. He doesn’t know what he can do, what he could have done. There’s nothing.

Ginzou can only stand there as people in the airport weave around him like he isn’t even here. He doesn’t feel like he’s here either. Chikage is gone, again, and there’s nothing to be done about it.

[IMAGE3]

Does she know that she hurt you?

She does now that I’ve told her, yeah.

She didn’t know, somehow.

She probably doesn’t know how much she hurt Aoko with this either, then.

She probably doesn’t know how much she hurt him.

Ginzou doesn’t know what she did.

~

When Kaito goes home, he notes that Chikage’s shoes have disappeared from the genkan.

She left, as quietly as she always has.

He should feel relieved. He just feels numb.

Notes:

FOR ANYONE READING THIS AS A FINISHED WORK: THIS IS THE END OF ACT ONE. GO TAKE A BREAK AND DRINK SOME WATER OR GO TO SLEEP

and for anyone who thought that aoko was gonna get an explanation or that ginzou was gonna be able to properly rip into chikage, uhhh, reeses in pieces

Chapter 24: back to school

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Monday, August 30th

The school, especially Kaito’s teachers, have been notified of his condition. He’s officially exempt from gym, and quite a few after-school chores. Chikage actually did what she said she’d do, making sure that she got this sorted out before she left again for America.

He and Aoko debated for a while if they should show up extra early to avoid people, but Kaito decides he doesn’t wanna wake up any earlier than usual and-- well. In general? Kaito doesn’t wanna drag this out any longer than he has to.

“Do you want Aoko to push you?” she asks as they round the corner and the school gates come into view.

Kaito takes a deep breath. “No, I got it.” He’s not gonna roll up to school looking like an invalid. He’s got some semblance of control over his life. Some.

It doesn’t take long for someone to make a comment.

“Eh?? What's this, then?” Nana grins as she catches sight of Kaito. He already wants to shrivel up and die.

“Huh?” Mirai turns around. “Oh good Lord, Kuroba-kun’s in a wheelchair. What are you planning?”

“The wheelchair is real,” Kaito answers flatly.

“Uh huh, sure,” Nana gives him a look that says she isn’t buying any of Kaito’s shit.

“Do you really think I would get a fancy wheelchair like this just for a gag?” Aaand he realizes just how stupid that sounds as soon as it leaves his mouth. Of course everybody is waiting for him to pull a fast one on them. “Okay, I would. But I didn’t. This is real.”

“Ah, sorry!” Mirai says quickly. “Did you break your leg doing a backflip or something?”

He really should have been more prepared to answer this. He thought he was prepared to answer this-- guess not. “I... fell off a roof,” is all he can bring himself to say by way of an answer. That’s. That’s the truth, he fell. He’s fallen before. He sprained his arm in middle school when he fell out of a tree once.

He gets a wince and an, “Ouch, that sucks. Hope you get better soon!”

He’ll say it when the next person asks.

But then, the next person is one of Aoko’s friends, Sayaka, who also asks, “Did you break your leg?”

Kaito stutters over the same answer, “I fell off a roof.” before they reach the front steps, and then he and Aoko have to swerve to the small area with a ramp way off to the side and the conversation is abruptly cut off.

The next person, then.

“Oh man, sorry. Did you break your leg? What happened?”

“I fell off a roof.” He and Aoko disappear into the elevator to get up to the floors with the classrooms.

“Did you break your leg? It’s a miracle you haven’t done it before now, honestly.”

“I fell off a roof.” He mostly ignores them as he skirts around the classroom to get to his desk. Aoko takes the desk chair away to put it in the corner.

“Is that wheelchair real? Did you break your leg?”

“I fell off a roof.” Aoko is giving him worried looks. He’s going to have to say something. Why can’t he say it?

Ah, he hasn’t explained it to anyone yet, right? Aoko and Ginzou and Jii saw it happen. Jii told Chikage. Aoko told Keiko. He hasn’t been the one to break the news to someone else before.

Ono approaches Kaito as he tries to figure out if his wheelchair will fit between his desk and the one behind, asking the same thing everyone else has: “Did you break your leg?”

Kaito tries to say the whole truth but all that comes out once again is, “I fell off a roof.”

“Oh, damn,” Ono winces sympathetically when he hears Kaito’s monotonous answer.

Kyouko leans over from her desk to ask, “So when are you gonna get out of that thing?”

“I won’t,” tumbles out of his mouth before he can think of a more delicate way to say it. But he doesn’t want to be delicate, he’s frustrated and tired and he just needs to say it. “I broke my back.”

“Haha, dude, that’s...” Ono’s sympathetic expression turns nervous. “That’s serious, isn’t it?”

They’re waiting for a punchline. Kaito recognizes it, he’s done a lot of things for shock value in the past. Stringing them along as long as possible to get the best reactions out of them. C’mon Kuroba, what’s the joke?

He doesn’t even know if he can blame them. He wishes there was a punchline to this too. “Yeah. It is. I can’t walk anymore.”

The mood shifts, and Kaito would rather be anywhere but here. He’d take going back to rehab three times a week over looking at the shock and pity and awkwardness that crosses their faces.

“...For real?” Ono asks.

“Yeah, for real,” Kaito snaps. He turns away. He’s not gonna bother continuing that conversation, he just. Doesn’t wanna deal with it.

Turns out, Kaito’s wheelchair doesn’t fit entirely underneath his desk. He can slide up about halfway underneath before the bottom of the desk catches on the wheel guard. The gap between his torso and the table isn’t too bad, but it means his wheelchair doesn’t quite fit between the desks. Well... he can warn the person in front of him that he’s moved his desk up a little bit. And Aoko is right behind him, he knows she’ll scoot her desk back a little without any fuss.

He’s about to move the desk forward when his wheelchair suddenly jerks. “Hey, Kuroba-kun!” Miwa shouts from just behind him, and Kaito realizes he’s grabbed his chair--

Kaito immediately hits the brakes to make sure he can’t be moved before he even tries to reply. “Hey, can you not?”

“Class is gonna start soon.” Miwa’s friend Takahiro comes around to Kaito’s desk. “When are you gonna wrap this prank up?”

“It’s not--” Kaito cuts off as Miwa jostles his chair again, probably trying to trigger whatever he thinks the trick is. Kaito’s heart is racing. This shouldn’t be that big of a deal, right? His brakes are on, they can't move him. But he’s kinda definitely about to lose it. “Please don’t grab my chair like that--”

“Is it gonna explode or something?”

“Back off!” Aoko shrieks, suddenly at Kaito’s side and brandishing a mop that for once isn’t pointed at him. She jabs it at Miwa and Takahiro, forcing them to step away. “Yes, he broke his back! It’s not a prank, so don’t mess with his wheelchair!” Oh. Oh no, Kaito can’t see her face, but he can hear her voice wavering.

[IMG1]

Thankfully, their homeroom teacher comes in and can put a stop to things for now. She tells Aoko to put the broom down and for the boys to get back to their seats and gives Kaito a quick apologetic look that edges too close to pity for Kaito’s liking before starting class. The air is heavy and uncomfortable. He would think he’s just being paranoid, but he can hear some people whispering. He knows he’s gonna be the hot topic for a while, and not in the way he usually likes.

Kaito can’t get angry at them. That’s so much energy. After being angry at Chikage for so long, it feels like he’s got nothing left. He stares blankly at his open textbook, barely even hearing their teacher, noticing every time a classmate glances in his direction and trying to ignore it. He should be used to people looking, he usually always wants eyes on him. That’s normally his goal, get everyone’s attention. He thrives on attention.

But not like this.

Hakuba approaches him just as lunch starts and simply says, “I’m sorry about what happened.” He doesn’t ask if it’s a prank, doesn’t ask if Kaito broke his leg, doesn’t ask with disbelief and shock if it’s really true that he’ll never be able to walk again. Most importantly, he doesn’t look at Kaito with pity, and doesn’t seem awkward or hesitant at all when approaching him.

“Thanks,” Kaito says, more for the fact that Hakuba isn’t making a huge deal out of this rather than the sincerity of his statement. Though the sincerity does throw him for a loop. He thought Hakubastard was gonna... well, he doesn’t know what he was gonna do. But he pictured Hakuba with a smug face, something something pride goeth before the fall or another equally obnoxious and ironic quote, and maybe a snarky comment about Kid retiring because he’s a complete asshole. But this is the least stressful interaction he’s had all day, weirdly enough.

It seems like Hakuba doesn’t know where the conversation is supposed to go, from the way he goes silent and simply stares at Kaito. Kaito doesn’t know either, but at least Hakuba is looking at his face and not at his chair.

“I’m going to go eat lunch now. Excuse me,” Hakuba says a half second before Kaito tries to make some excuse about needing to bother Aoko. Hakuba leaves without another warning, disappearing out the doorway.

Aoko approaches shortly after that, pulling a chair up to his desk. “Are you okay?”

“Honestly, I wanna go home,” Kaito mumbles as he gets his lunch out of his bag. 

“Yeah, Aoko kinda wants to go home too.” She glances around the room like a predator stalking prey, waiting for someone to look funny at Kaito. “But the day is half over.” She sits down and unpacks her lunch on his desk as well. “It’ll be done before we know it.”

“Only half,” Kaito grimaces. ”Great.”

“It’ll be okay.”

“It will be when we get home.”

“You’re gonna have to get used to being at school like this.” Aoko snaps her chopsticks at him threateningly. “Better get good.”

“Mh.” Kaito pushes the vegetables in his bento around, not actually eating them. Just as he’s about to pick up a piece of broccoli, Aoko snipes it and shoves it in her mouth. “Hey!”

“If yo’ noff gonh eaff it--” she swallows. “Then Aoko might as well.”

“Oh, so when I talk with my mouth full it’s disgusting, but when you do it it’s suddenly fine?”

“Yes.”

Kaito swipes a piece of chicken out of her box.

It quickly dissolves into a petty fight, as most things with them do, only stopping when Aoko jabs him in the cheek with her chopsticks and for a hot second they’re both worried she drew blood. (Which has happened before. Chopstick battles get intense, okay?) But they stop after that and actually finish eating their lunch. Like Aoko said, the day is half over. He can deal until then. He’ll have to come to school tomorrow, sure, but that’s tomorrow. He’ll just focus on getting through today for now.

Notes:

enter SAGURU my B O Y except uh this is the only content we get of him for another [checks watch] 18 chapters whoops

Chapter 25: hearsay

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Friday, September 3rd

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Notes:

cant forget that this is hard on aoko too. also, stuff gets more spaced out now. no longer have a chapter for every single day

alsoX2 i dont know why the comic pages are slightly blurry when the regular illustrations are crisp? its probably a problem with flickr sizing but gonna be real its not something i care enough to fix

Chapter 26: text

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Saturday, September 4th

First week back at school is done with.

He hasn’t talked to anyone at school except Aoko and Keiko since that first day.

~Sunday, September 5th

Kaito’s phone buzzes once, waking him up from an already light sleep because of the dull pain in his back. He assumes it’s Aoko, of course, because who else would it be? Ginzou rarely has a reason to text, Jii is allergic to texting completely, and Keiko pretty much never texts first. But when he picks it up, a different but still familiar name shows up in his inbox.

[IMG1]

Oh. Right. He kinda forgot that there are people other than Jii who would be worried for him because of the lack of heists.

What’s he even supposed to say?

[IMG2]

Delete. He’s not just gonna drop that on her out of the blue after all this radio silence.

[IMG3]

Delete. They’ve never mentioned any implicating stuff about Kaitou Kid over their normal numbers even when he’s not actively planning heists, and he isn’t gonna start now. Then again, it’s not like he’s ever gonna contact her as Kaitou Kid anymore. He can still keep it vague, just civilian chit-chat.

[IMG4]

Delete.

[IMG5]

Delete.

[IMG6]

Delete.

[IMG7]

Delete. Eugh. He doesn’t want to deal with this.

[IMG8]

Delete.

[IMG9]

Dammit, he didn’t mean to hit send.

[IMG10]

God, he doesn’t want to talk to anyone. Much less one of his dad’s old friends.

He closes the phone, tosses it onto the bed, and ignores it when it keeps buzzing.

Notes:

oc time. if youve read my other fics youve probably seen her name before

for all the mixed media storytelling i do, ive never done texting conversations like this before. i think it turned out pretty good

Chapter 27: no

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Wednesday, September 8th

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Notes:

theres gonna be a LOT more comics here in the second act, buckle up for an obscene amount of art

Chapter 28: chronic

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Saturday, September 11th

Kaito’s back still hurts, which is great. He woke up in the middle of the night when a sharp pain hit him, and it was hard to go back to sleep after that. Now it’s hard to fully wake up. And by the time he does get out of bed he solidly decides that he feels awful, so he decided to knock back some painkillers before he does anything else today.

But then he showers, and the pain is still pretty persistent.

And he eats breakfast, and feeds his doves, and it starts to get worse.

By the time lunch rolls around and Aoko comes over, it’s hard to keep a straight face. Aoko sees through him right away. “Is something wrong?”

“My back hurts,” he admits. “Took some painkillers, but they aren’t helping as much as I hoped they would.” It’s taken some of the edge off, but that’s just not enough. “I’ll be okay, though.”

He is not okay.

He’s trying to focus on homework. Trying. Trying his best, but it’s hard to force himself to keep looking at the book in his lap. He adjusts himself on the couch, moving more into the corner so he can lean back against the arm rest. Aoko, on the opposite side, moves her feet without being asked to make room for Kaito putting his legs up on the couch.

A wave of fire rips from the base of his spine all the way up his back, and he can’t quite stop the strangled yelp that comes out.

Aoko immediately sits up straight, looking worried. “Kaito?”

“I’m-- fine.” The page under Kaito’s hand is threatening to tear because of how hard he’s pressing his balled fist into it. “Just hurts.” He uncurls his hand, though it’s still tense as he tries to smooth the page out.

“Maybe we should take a break...?”

[PAGE1]

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[PAGE3]

[PAGE4]

[PAGE5]

Notes:

i feel weird not putting anything in the end notes because i for one ALWAYS look for end notes after i read a fic. feels like im missing out on commentary.

so commentary this time is that im actually pretty self conscious of the act 1+2 chapters now that im posting them, because i worry about being heavyhanded on the hurt part of the h/c. i dont usually care about angst levels, and breaking someones back is hardly as dark as i can go (and have already gone).

but because its about a real disability thats so often looked down on and seen as a life-ending thing that you'll never mentally recover from, and also has TERRIBLE media rep, i worry about portraying things too negatively before things get better.

which, rationally, i know is bullshit, considering that breaking your spine is a traumatic event that takes /time/ to recover from.

and also like this is a fic for a 30 some year old gag manga i dont really need to worry about my portrayal affecting much lmao. brains are stupid.

Chapter 29: punch

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Monday, September 13th

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Notes:

so we're now officially halfway through the story??? what the fuck

anyway this is one of my favorite chapters. love aoko decking a bitch

Chapter 30: fuck 'em

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Tuesday, September 14th

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Notes:

she does get in trouble but im glossing over it honestly. wanted to focus on the chapter parallels c:

Chapter 31: go home

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Thursday, September 16th

“Hey, Kaito,” Aoko asks as they leave the school gate. “How about we go out somewhere?”

“Where?”

“The mall or something. Just, y’know, get out of the house besides school.”

His first impulse is to refuse. He’s got things he wanted to do this afternoon-- but then, they’re not that important anyway. He knows Aoko will say they’re not important compared to his mental health, so he shouldn’t even try and say no.

So, he scraps his mental list of plans for the day. Aoko likes to meander around, and no doubt she’ll suggest they go out to eat somewhere. He’ll give it about two hours till they get bored and decide they can go home. He shoves homework and exercising back later in the day and starts thinking about potential places to go eat.

“Yeah, alright. Why not.”

~

The mall is fine. It’s not anything fantastic, but the weather is nice and he’s not hurting. So it’s fine.

Aoko is practically skipping beside him, though, as they go through the open courtyard to the fountain at the center. “You know what, we should get lunch while we’re here!” Food-- as predicted.

“Yeah, that sounds nice,” he says, not looking at her. Not looking at anything in particular, really, but making note what’s around them. There’s eleven other people in the immediate area: a group of four teens still in their school uniforms, five adults, and two kids-- one of them balancing on the edge of the fountain, her mother hovering behind and ready to catch her just in case she falls.

Three of the adults in various turns Look at him when he and Aoko approach the fountain. The teens don’t seem to notice him, engrossed in a magazine stand. One of the children looks at him, and tugs on his mother’s shirt and asks her something when she leans down, and she not so subtly glances Kaito’s way before pointedly Not looking at him at all, urging her son to look away as well.

“Aoko, can...” He swallows. He doesn’t want to make her go home so quickly, it’s barely been ten minutes since they got here. He’d already planned out stuff for them to do, but right now something in his gut is clenching painfully at the thought of going through with those plans. “Can we go back home?”

“Huh? Already?”

“Yeah,” he croaks. “Yeah, sorry.”

He’s already turning around to go back towards the train. He can’t do this.

Aoko puts a hand on his shoulder, stopping him from speeding away. “Hey, if you need Aoko to push you--”

“I can push myself.”

“It’s a long way back,” she reminds him in a soft voice.

“I’m fine. It doesn’t hurt--”

“Your hands are shaking,” she says even quieter than before.

“Ah.” He closes his fist around the grips even tighter, but even that doesn't stop the slight tremor. “So they are.”

“Can Aoko just push you? Please...?” Her fists clench around the fabric of her skirt as she looks at the ground.

“I... yeah,” Kaito sighs. “Okay.”

He releases his death grip on the wheels as Aoko unfolds and extends the handles from the back of his seat. “If it hurts, you gotta let Aoko help, you know...”

“It doesn’t hurt, promise. I’m just... out of it.”

“Still. You gotta let us help you, remember?” She turns him around and pushes him back the way they came.

“Right.” It’s hard to think of better responses when he’s so focused on the fact that he’s... stuck. Aoko could push him anywhere, and he doesn’t have control over it. Not like she would ever take him anywhere he wouldn’t wanna go, or at the very least nowhere bad. But it’s... uncomfortable. Something is still twisting in his stomach.

“Kaito, are you listening to Aoko?”

“Huh?” Kaito twists around to look at her, but that’s more awkward than he would like, so he just gets in a quick glance before he goes back to facing forward. “I wasn’t, sorry. What’d you say?”

“Are you sure you’re alright...?”

No. “I’ll be fine once we get home.”

The train ride is a blur. Aoko manages to snatch the seat next to the wheelchair accessible spot, and she reaches over to hold his hand and squeezes. He squeezes once in return, but then lets his hand stay limp and shaky in Aoko’s firm grip the rest of the trip. His plans for the day are ruined. He should just think up something new-- he already redid his plans for today once, it shouldn’t be hard, the train is plenty of time to do it. But everything feels... wrong. Hurts a bit, but it’s the same level as it always does-- body, head, something--

He wants to bury himself in blankets and go back to bed.

[IMG1]

He only realizes they’ve reached their stop when Aoko’s hand leaves his. They don’t say anything, but she wordlessly gets behind him to keep pushing him. And before he knows it, they’re home.

He doesn’t exactly have a plan except wanting the earth swallow him whole, so he just ends up sitting on the couch with his DS, staring at the startup screen.

“Kaito!” Aoko is still here? He thought she left. She’s obviously alarmed as she approaches. “Hey-- hey, what’s wrong? Talk to me.”

He doesn’t know why she’s so worked up until she takes his face in her hands, and he can feel her wiping away tears. “Oh--” he croaks, not expecting his voice to be broken.

She kneels in front of him, looking up at Kaito. He’s taller than her when they’re both sitting down, but-- her reaching up to him to hold his face-- “What’s wrong?” she asks again.

“I don’t--” He hiccups. “I don’t know, I just...”

Kaito reaches down and hugs her, pulling her up into his lap. He’s probably hugging her too tight. He doesn’t care.

Aoko doesn’t say anything at first, she just fits her chin over his shoulder and hugs him back just as tight. “Is this all you need...?”

He mumbles some affirmative and buries his face in the crook of her neck. He just needs this for a while.

~

[PAGE1]

[PAGE2]

Notes:

recovery aint linear and im boutta send you mfs on an absolute rollercoaster of ups and downs for the last half of act 2

Chapter 32: progress

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Saturday, September 18th

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[PAGE2]

[PAGE3]

Notes:

sometimes i think "man, three pages is such a short chapter length" but then i remember that there are no rules and i do what i want

Chapter 33: ice cream

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Sunday, September 19th

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[PAGE2]

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[PAGE4]

Notes:

this one seems like it comes out of nowhere but like. Its Kind Of Insane How Much This Happens. people in wheelchairs just get... ignored. flat out.

Chapter 34: nightmare

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Monday, September 20th

Aoko wakes up to her phone vibrating beneath her pillow. Her room is pitch black until she pulls her phone out and the screen assaults her eyes. She squints at the brightness, but only to fumble her way to clicking on the answer button. She doesn’t bother looking at who the caller is. “Kaito, you okay?”

“That’s a dumb question.” He sounds like he’s trying to joke, but his voice is strained.

“Ah, yeah,” she rubs her eyes. “Aoko is still waking up.”

“It’s fine.”

Aoko sits up. “Did you have a nightmare?”

“Yeah. Sorry for waking you up.”

“Don’t say sorry. Aoko said you could call her, right? That still stands.”

“It still feels stupid,” he says, voice muffled. She can imagine him in bed, pressing his face into the pillow to shut out the rest of the world. In her own room, her eyes begin to adjust to the dark. A faint strip of light from a streetlamp peeks through the curtains and cuts across her bedspread and down to the floor.

“It’s not stupid.” She peeks out the curtains, seeing no one there in the lamplit sidewalk. She throws the covers off and gets out of bed. “Are you gonna be able to get back to sleep?”

“Probably not.”

“Aoko will stay on the phone, then.” She creeps out of her bedroom, heading towards the front door. She knows her dad won’t wake up if she stays quiet enough.

“Thanks.”

“Do you just want quiet or do you want Aoko to talk?”

“Maybe, uh... talking, I guess.”

“When Aoko went out with Keiko after school today we saw a dog that only had one eye. She thinks he was a stray, which was weird ‘cause you’d think a stray wouldn’t survive losing an eye, right?” Aoko slips her sandals on, opens the door, and locks it before closing it as quietly as she can behind her.

“Maybe he was abandoned.”

“Maybe.” Aoko walks down the sidewalk, paying attention to the dark corners vaguely, but mostly she just focuses on getting into Kaito’s backyard. She has a key to the front door, obviously, but sometimes the door isn’t appropriate. “He was super sweet though, Aoko will fight anyone who would abandon such a sweet puppy.” She opens the gate, wincing as it squeaks.

“You’ll take any excuse to fight people.” She can hear the smirk in Kaito’s voice.

“Well, yeah, but it’s always better if it’s for a good cause. And this would be a very good cause.” She approaches the window and peeks in. The curtains are open and she can see Kaito laying down, a hand thrown over his face and the other holding the phone up to his ear. She knocks on the glass.

Kaito startles, whipping his head around to look at her, and relaxes as soon as he recognizes her. He turns off the phone, props himself up, and scoots himself closer to the window. She turns off and pockets her phone in her pajama pants as Kaito struggles to reach up to the latch and opens the window. She pulls herself up, letting her sandals fall onto the ground before she climbs in completely. She can get them tomorrow when they feed the doves. She’s careful to avoid stepping on Kaito as she kneels in front of him before closing the window and locking it. Now face to face, she can see the faint tear tracks on his cheeks.

[IMG1]

“Lay down,” she tells him softly. They’re the only people in the house, but it still feels like they have to be quiet.

“What if I wanna sit up?” Kaito laughs, still quiet, but the effect is ruined when he sniffs and rubs his face to get rid of the tears.

“You don’t.” She lays down first, pulling him down with her. “Lay down.” Kaito hesitantly lets her guide him. “Now come here.” She tugs Kaito’s shoulder to roll him closer to her so she can hold him.

“Mmh--!” Kaito’s face draws tight with pain and he squeezes his eyes shut. “Can’t lay on my side like that right now.”

“That’s fine.” She draws her hands back to her chest. “You get comfortable first, then Aoko will scoot closer.”

He lays on his back, eyes still closed for a moment before he says, “Okay.” Aoko lays down next to, well, really more on top of him, her head and a hand on his chest. Resting like this, with her ear against his chest she can feel its steady rise and fall as he breathes and the soft fabric of his shirt as it shifts. But underneath that she hears his racing, panicked heartbeat. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“I mean I did call you,” Kaito laughs again, still weak. He brings his hand up to pet her hair.

“Yeah, but sometimes you just wanna talk about nothing.”

“Mm.” He takes a deep breath. “I... haven’t had a nightmare about that night-- falling-- in a while.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?” she asks again.

“I don’t think so. Kinda just wanna sleep again.”

“Alright.” She grabs the blanket and tosses it over them. “I can fix that, at least.” It’s always easier to fall asleep when they’re in the same bed.

Kaito does fall asleep rather quickly, as she hoped he would. One hand is half-tangled in her hair and the other is resting across his stomach, so close to the hand she’s got on top of him. But she can’t sleep.

It’s been a while since she’s had a nightmare about that night too, which she’s glad for. But she hasn’t stopped thinking about it. Specifically, about how there hasn’t been a heist in two months.

No heists since Kaito broke his back.

Maybe it’s a coincidence, maybe Kaitou Kid really is just planning something big that’s taking him time. But a lot of people are concerned about the lack of Kaitou Kid. His fans are getting worried. Aoko’s dad and the task force are stressed. It’s weird for him to be gone so long.

Aoko has accused Kaito of being Kid before. Hakuba has accused him of being Kid before. Kept accusing him, in fact, up until the accident. There’s a lot of evidence. She knows that Kaito’s gone a lot when heists happen. She knows when he’s lying to her. She knows his magic inside out, and he hardly tries to mask his style whether he’s at home, or at school, or at... heists.

Either he is, was Kaitou Kid, and he obviously can no longer do heists. Or else someone else is Kaitou Kid, and he’ll show up eventually for another heist. Either way, she doesn’t have to worry about Kaito lying to her and going out to break the law and make a fool of her dad. Not anymore.

But she would rather have Kaitou Kid show up again. She shouldn’t want to see him at all, she should want him to be gone for good. She hates him, she hates that Kaito was hurt because of Kid. But she really, really hopes Kaitou Kid will come back. Then she can finally have proof that Kaito was never him. Once and for all.

The longer Kaitou Kid is gone, the heavier the pit in her stomach grows.

Notes:

aokos not stupid :)

Chapter 35: assistance

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Wednesday, September 22nd

Fall has officially started. Time goes on. And still, it all only barely feels real. Everything has been so much so fast and-- and so much?

He’s tired.

Aoko slings her school bag over her shoulder. “Aoko is ready to go home. Do you wanna leave yet?”

“Mhm, sure.” Kaito puts his gloves on and moves back from his desk. “I’m good to go.”

“Um... Kaito, do you want Aoko to push you?”

“No,” he says sharply. “I’m fine.” He’s sluggish making his way out of the classroom, and he knows it. But he’s fine, really. He doesn’t need anyone looking at him sideways because he can’t push himself around.

He presses the down button on the elevator, and Aoko bounces nervously.

“Does it hurt?”

“Not really.”

Aoko gives him a worried look.

“No more than normal,” he insists. Normal unfortunately doesn’t mean none, which he’s trying not to think about. “I’m just... really tired.” Tired, however, is an understatement. He knows he’s shaky, Aoko can definitely see it, but it’s not that bad. He’ll just deal.

The elevator doors open, so that’s the end of that conversation. Or so Kaito thinks, until they leave school grounds and Aoko worriedly asks, “Kaito, are you sure you don’t need help?”

“I’m fine,” he snaps.

“It just looks like you--”

“No! Stop, stop asking me if I need-- I can do it by myself!”

Aoko bites her lip, looks ahead, and doesn’t say anything else. Kaito almost regrets snapping, and he almost regrets refusing her help. His arms are heavy, and by the time they get back to his house his hands are physically shaking.

“Kaito.” Aoko hangs up her jacket on the rack near the door. “Next time, could you just let Aoko help? She can see you’re tired.”

“I’m tired, but it’s fine.” He moves past her, fully expecting that to be the end of the conversation, but Aoko jumps in front of him.

“You can’t just say you don’t need help just ‘cause you’re embarrassed!”

“That’s not--”

“It is!” She stomps her foot on the ground. “Don’t lie to Aoko, she knows you. You’re embarrassed, and you’re being stupid! Aoko knows you’ve been hurting, and she knows you’re tired, and you’re just gonna hurt yourself worse if you push your limits so much!”

“I’ve been good about my limits. I know what I can handle right n--”

Bakaito!” Aoko slams her hands down on his wheels, grabbing them so he can’t roll away, leaning in so they’re nose to nose as she screams at him. “Listen to me!”

[IMG2]

Kaito snaps his mouth shut.

“You need help sometimes. I know you know that. And you can’t ignore it just ‘cause people are gonna see it. Okay?”

His jaw tightens. He has to consciously unclench it to say, “...Okay.”

“Can you at least... I dunno.” She stands ups straight again, sliding her hands off his wheels. “If you don’t wanna draw attention to yourself, can you ask some other way?”

Kaito digs his thumb into the opposite palm so he doesn’t dig it into his leg. “Like how?”

“Like...” Aoko’s gaze flicks around the room as she bounces on her toes, searching for some kind of answer. “Like your handles.”

“My handles?”

“When you need help, just flip the handles on your wheelchair up. So Aoko will see, and you don’t have to ask. And no one else will notice, right?”

“Oh. I mean-- yeah. I guess.”

“Will you do that much?” she asks, hands behind her back, now rocking back and forth on her heels. She really is nervous. He must have scared her. “For Aoko?”

“Yes. Yeah, I can do that. I’ll...” He sighs. “I shouldn’t have yelled.”

“You shouldn’t have. But it’s okay.”

“It’s not.”

“Kaito.” She hugs him. “It’s okay. Aoko knows you didn’t mean it.”

It’s a struggle to return the hug, even if he likes it. He used to be almost a head taller than her, and now he’s a full head shorter. Aoko’s so small, he shouldn’t have to avoid sticking his face in her chest just for a hug. She’s bent over, so they’re sort of on the same level-- but this is still too awkward for what he needs right now, this isn’t close enough, but it’s hard to get that close when she’s still standing.

Without thinking, he brings his hands lower. “Kaito--?” In a quick motion he gets an arm on her back and the other hooks around the back of her knees, yanking her into his lap as she yelps.

“Wait, can-- how much can your wheelchair hold?” She sounds uncertain, but makes no move to try and get up.

“Still under the weight limit with both of us, s’fine.” He squeezes her and she curls up, arms over his shoulders so his face is hidden in the crook of her neck.

“Are you feeling better?”

“...I really hoped it’d stop hurting at some point,” he mumbles. “I mean-- I’m okay right now. Mostly. But it keeps... it just ruins everything. It feels like I’ve gotta plan every day around it, gotta plan for just in case I suddenly hurt so bad I can’t push myself around. Every day.”

“I’m sorry. But Aoko will help.”

“You shouldn’t have to help me so much.”

“Aoko just pushes you when you’re too tired or hurt too much.”

“I hurt a lot. All the time.”

“Yeah, but not usually enough that it stops you from moving around. Aoko is only gonna push you when it’s too much for you.”

“I just don’t wanna be too much for you.”

“It’s not too much.”

“But--”

“Stop.”

He shuts up. Everything he says right now feels useless anyway. Nothing he tells her will change her mind, so it doesn’t matter.

Well. He can think of one thing that he could tell her which would probably make her angry enough with him to stop helping him.

He could tell her.

He should tell her, right? She does so much for him. She deserves to know. He’s stuck in this damn wheelchair, that’s not gonna change anytime soon, it’s not like she’ll be in danger if she knows now.

He should tell her.

Again, he doesn’t.

Notes:

normally i update these chapters at ass o clock in the morning because i go to sleep at way late and my phone reminder to update this fic goes off at 1am, but i passed out at midnight

Chapter 36: birthday

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Saturday, September 25th

Kaito wakes up, and he has a reminder on his phone.

It’s Aoko’s birthday.

Shit.

He remembers her talking about her birthday party vaguely. Kind of. Maybe. Best to bite the bullet on this.

[IMG1]

She’s getting back at... two? What time even is it?

Ah, past ten.

This is fine though, that’s actually a lot of time. Maybe he can-- well he can sit up and realize his back is on fire, absolutely fantastic. He bends over, head bowed as he keeps a tight grip on his knees and tries to breathe through it. What is this, day four of wanting to rip his spine out of his body? No, three. But that’s not much better.

In for five, out for five. Ignore when he chokes because of a new stab of pain, and keep counting. It’s not bad enough that he wants to stay in bed, but he’s still thankful it’s the weekend. He doesn’t think he’ll have the energy to leave the house beyond going to Aoko’s place. Even if he did, it’s raining, and that’s just something he doesn’t wanna deal with.

But not leaving the house means he can’t go out shopping for a gift-- but it’s not like he’s even gonna be able to find something that doesn’t scream “This is a last-minute gift because I’m a terrible best friend who forgot your birthday!” anyway.

He absolutely doesn’t have anything he can give her as a gift.

Maybe he can, uhh,

Heck.

Aoko said she’s picking up ice cream on the way home. But no cake. Maybe he can... make her a cake. Or something. His brain is not working. Pain fog is a bitch. But he can follow a recipe and make her something, at least. Right? Right. Sure.

Kaito’s kitchen is a little bit of a wreck by the time he’s done. They’ve moved most everything to a height that Kaito can reach, but it’s still a bit difficult to actually navigate cooking without Aoko’s help. Or rather, it’s a lot easier to make a mess without Aoko helping. He should probably get better at cleaning up after himself.

The finished product: a small, perfectly square vanilla cake. He’s still got an hour before Aoko comes home. The chocolate frosting is actually evenly spread, and he even successfully piped wonky little blue flowers on top after he dug through the back of his pantry to find the box where Chikage put all the dessert things like food dye and candles and sprinkles and piping bags. He adds some sprinkles for good measure. And, well... it’s a cute little cake, he thinks. But that’s it. It’s not really a gift, is it? She’s out with Keiko getting ice cream anyway. She’s already gonna have something sweet for her birthday. This is so stupid.

Aoko doesn’t deserve this shit from him.

Okay.

Okay, she doesn’t deserve this. So he needs to backtrack. He’s not gonna make this about him. He made something for her, so it’s not stupid. He can work with this. He just has to gather up some supplies, make sure he can hide some stuff on his wheelchair, and go to Aoko’s house before she gets home.

~

Kaito is laying down on the couch and playing on his DS when he hears Aoko and Keiko open the front door. “Hey, got here early!” he calls out.

“Hi! Aoko’s gonna put away the ice cream, hold on!” she calls back as she runs past him and into the kitchen.

Keiko waves to him as she comes into view. “What are you playing?”

“Phantom Hourglass. Do you wanna watch?”

“Do you wanna get off your ass and help us decorate?” Aoko yells from the kitchen.

“Absolutely I do not, but I’ll blow up balloons or something.” Kaito shuts off the DS and props himself up. “Can you scoot my chair a little bit closer?”

“Sure. No crutches?”

Kaito takes his chair from Keiko and puts the brakes on. “Naaah, don’t wanna deal with everyone asking why I can suddenly walk.” He also doesn’t wanna end up collapsed on the floor. It’s super not a crutches kind of day. He hauls himself into his chair and mutters a “Thanks,” to Keiko as he waits for his body to calm down from the transfer. Once he feels more steady, he pulls his feet up and readjusts himself.

He spends his time blowing up balloons and sprucing up the dining table while Aoko and Keiko put up streamers and clean up the last bits of clutter from the living room. It’s half to four by the time they’re all done, and Kaito thinks now is as good a time as any to give Aoko her birthday present.

“Hey, Aoko.” Kaito lets himself slowly roll to a stop next to Aoko as she adjusts the tablecloth. “Is it alright if I give you your gift now?”

“Oh! Yeah, sure.” Aoko dusts off her hands. “But you didn’t have to get Aoko anything, you know!”

God, he doesn’t deserve her. Of course she woulda let him off the hook cause he’s been having a string of bad days. “Excuse you I did, because you deserve it.” He pulls a handkerchief out of his pocket. It’s just simple sleight of hand, made only a little bit difficult because he has to make sure the cake doesn’t splatter in his lap. He’s juggled far more unwieldy things, though. “Ta-dah!”

When he pulls back the handkerchief to reveal the cake, she gasps. “Did you make this??”

“Yep!”

“Aoko loves it!” She takes the cake, looking over it with sparkling eyes. 

“Well good, ‘cause I wrecked my kitchen for it.”

Aoko bounces on her toes. “We should save this for later!” Then she turns and runs for the kitchen.

“My thoughts exactly,” he says as he follows her. “Didn’t wanna whip this out in front of all your guests, it’s too small to share with everyone else.”

And “everyone else” thankfully isn’t a lot of people, only three other girls that Kaito knows by name but really only interacts with when Aoko is a buffer. “Did you invite anyone else?” he asks as she passes him by.

“No, this is it. Dad said he’ll be off work in another hour, though.”

Only three, but three still seems like a lot right now. Kinda pathetic for him to be this uncomfortable-- but those kinds of self deprecating thoughts are for later. Or hopefully, never.

Thoughts for right now: how awkward Aoko’s friends are around him. And of course they are, he hasn’t been the most... present. In school lately. So he still gets avoided most of the time, even by Aoko’s friends and his acquaintances. But the important part is that he’s not bothered by it right now. Or at least, he doesn’t let himself be outwardly bothered by it. This isn’t about him, this is about Aoko. And he gave her the cake, but that’s only the opening act. He’s gotta wait just a bit longer, though. Aoko opens presents, they bring out ice cream after it, and then. Then, it’s finally showtime.

Gathering an audience like this, when they’re still awkward around him, will only get them watching him out of pity if he asks one of them if they wanna see a trick. And that’s not a great starting note. He’ll have to work his way up.

He finds Keiko and asks if she wants to see some card tricks he’s working on. Keiko is an easy audience. She always says yes, because she’s never not fascinated by Kaito’s tricks-- even the little ones-- and she’s too shy to try and pull away before his goal is accomplished. The goal: attract the others using her.

Kaito starts with the card tricks he promised. Technically a lie, they’re far from new, but he knows Keiko either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care. Soon enough, he sees Momoko looking his way with interest. “Oh hey, Momoko-chan, you too!” He beckons her over. “Pick a card, this works even better with more people.”

Then he’s got Sayaka’s attention too, then Aoko and Kyouko approach the rest of the group.

There’s the birthday girl!” He turns one wheel so he can face her and keeps the other hand hidden.

“Are you doing a magic show?”

“Of course I am. But uh...” He frowns, looking her up and down. “Hey, aren’t you forgetting something?”

“Forgetting--?” She quickly goes from happy to concerned. “Um, Aoko doesn’t think so...?”

“I dunno Aoko... I really do think you’re forgetting something...”

“What is she forge-- AH!” Aoko yelps as Kaito reaches up and throws a cloth over her head. He rips it away only a second later, and a glittery plastic tiara is left in her hair.

“You definitely did. A birthday girl deserves her very own crown, after all.”

Her eyes light up as she realizes what he put on her head, gingerly touching it but not removing it even to look at it. 

[IMG2]

“Does the birthday girl want a real magic show, not just little tricks like this?” And, okay, maybe he put a little bit too much Kaitou Kid brand smoothness in his voice, but it’s worth it seeing her flustered hand flapping before she enthusiastically says yes.

So, he puts on a show.

~

Cleaning up is a nightmare and a half, and he won’t deny that it’s mostly his fault. He’s the source of at least half the confetti and glitter here-- but at least he doesn’t have to be the one vacuuming up it up with the other bits and bobs that got thrown around. Which he feels a bit bad about. Cleaning floors wasn’t fun even when he could reach them without an issue, but Aoko says she doesn’t mind taking the floor while he cleans other stuff.

Keiko stays to help but has to leave before they're done, and they reassure her it’s fine. It doesn’t take them too long after she goes to finish up. Kaito is just tying off a garbage bag full of paper bowls and shredded wrapping paper when Aoko approaches and holds out her hands in a silent offer to take it for him. “How are you doing?”

“Tired as hell and very much hurting,” he says honestly as he passes the bag over to her. “Did I fool you?”

“No, not really,” Aoko smiles at him sympathetically. “You pause too much when you’re hurting.”

“Damn, and I got all dolled up and everything.”

“That’s my dress, of course it’s pretty.”

“Not the point. Gotta work on my poker face.”

“Hmph, Aoko can always see through your poker face.” She pouts and walks out of the room. “Aoko bets nobody else even noticed! She was the only one!”

“Oh they definitely didn’t.” Kaito follows her to the back door, holding it open while she throws the garbage in the bin. “If they did, I’d have gotten way different looks during the show.”

Aoko locks the back door after she comes back inside. “Okay, but... how bad is it right now? Are you okay?”

“I’ll be fine, other than the fact that I’ll probably be running at half power or less tomorrow,” he answers in lieu of an actual scale of pain. “So if you wake me up before ten, I’m cutting the bristles off your toothbrush. Both of your toothbrushes.”

“Awh, sorry about that.” She steps around him to better look at him head-on, without him twisting to face her. “But,” she crouches down and hugs him, “Thank you for today. Aoko had a lot of fun. She’s glad you had fun too.”

[IMG3]

He squeezes her back. “Of course I had fun, you throw good parties.”

“Yeah, but you know what Aoko means. With the whole... um...” She pauses to gather her words. “This is the first time she’s seen you do magic since the accident.”

Oh, he-- he didn’t even realize. He was just focused on Aoko, on making sure he didn’t ruin her party by throwing his own pity party for himself.

Aoko is so, so good to him. She deserves the world, and he’s gonna make sure she gets it. No more bullshit.

“Hey also, if you’re tired, you can just sleep over here tonight.” She lets go and heads towards her bedroom.

“My house is literally right next to yours!” he laughs.

“Oh shut up, Aoko already knows you don’t wanna go home this late.” She turns on the lights. “She’ll find one of your big shirts to sleep in.”

Kaito moves past her as she rummages in her dresser. “I’m definitely gonna wake up in the middle of the night,” he warns her.

“Or...” Aoko throws a shirt at him, which he barely catches. “Maybe you’ll be tired enough to sleep like a rock.” 

“God, isn’t that the dream.”

~Sunday, September 26th

Kaito does sleep like a rock. He also wakes up at noon, still exhausted but not in pain.

Well, no, because it feels like a fist is squeezing his back, but he can tune that out to dull background noise since it’s normal for an average day. There’s just no longer a knife trying to carve his spine out of his back. He takes his time propping himself up and getting into his chair so he doesn’t twist anything wrong. And he has absolutely no plans to get out other than going back to his own house at some point, so he doesn’t bother changing out of his t-shirt and sweatpants.

He finds Aoko in the kitchen, fridge open. “Hey, how are you doing?”

Kaito throws up a peace sign. “Still tired.”

“Aoko took care of your doves this morning, by the way.”

“Oh, nice. Thanks.” He peeks into the fridge as well. “Is there a lunch plan or did I miss it?”

“Aoko was thinking we should eat the cake you made for lunch.”

“No real food first?”

“It’s Aoko’s birthday weekend and she gets to make the rules!” She pulls the cake out of the fridge.

He laughs. “Alright alright, fine. I don’t dare to defy the birthday girl. Let’s eat cake.”

Notes:

i picked a completely random day for aoko's birthday because the number 25 seems nice

Chapter 37: rain

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Wednesday, September 29th

Aoko wakes up because Kaito does. More specifically, because they’re tangled up and Kaito lets out a strangled cry right in her ear. Kaito must immediately realize what he’s done now that he’s awake, since he lets out a “Sorry,” between hitching breaths.

“Nightmare?”

She gets a pained “No,” in response.

“Legs or back?” She can guess the answer. It’s not like this is the first time he’s woken up in the middle of the night or too early in the morning because of his spine.

“Back,” he grits out.

“Aoko’s gonna try something, okay?”

He gives a muffled “Mhm,” which turns into a much louder moan as Aoko untangles herself so she can get a hand on his back.

“Tell Aoko if it hurts.” She rubs her thumb into his spine with only a little bit of pressure, but it immediately has him tensing up and groaning again. “Too much?”

“I think it’s-- ow-- good. Good kind of hurt.”

Aoko keeps gently kneading his spine. Kaito is still tense and she can hear him breathing way too loud. She’s sure that if she could see his face then she would be able to see the pain in his expression. But his voice isn’t as tight when he says, “Thanks.”

She just hums in response.

His labored breathing doesn’t even out for a long time, but as it gradually gets quieter, she can pay attention to the soft sounds of rain hitting the window outside. She then hears fabric shift near her head, and feels her pillow shift with it. Kaito probably balled his fist up in the pillow.

Aoko thinks about asking if he forgot to take his muscle relaxer before bed. That’s happened before, but this kind of thing sometimes happens even when he’s taken all his proper medication. It prevents most things, but not everything. It just sucks.

She honestly thought Kaito had finally fallen asleep, since he slowly started to relax under her hand and his breathing evened out. But he says, “Aoko, there’s... something I’ve been wanting to say for a while.”

Her heart skips a beat. He’s confessing something? She can only think of two ways this could go, and she doesn’t have high hopes that it’s the kind of confession she wants.

But please, please, God, don’t let it be the other one.

“No, I... guess I already said it. Just, y’know, everything you do for me, thanks. I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t here.”

Neither. He chickened out.

Not that she’s any better, but it’s... it’s drama they don’t need, right?

Right.

Probably.

But he probably wasn’t about to confess he likes her anyway. That’s too far-fetched. They’re only comfortable like this because they grew up together, because they needed this closeness after the accident, because they’ve always been each other’s best friends. Things have just fallen into place like this. None of that is reason enough for Kaito to like her like that.

So, maybe he was gonna... he was about to admit that he...

No. She won’t think about it right now. She can’t. So she hugs him tight and focuses on now, instead of possibilities she can’t prove. “This feels like the least Aoko can do. You don’t have to thank her for it.”

“I want to. I just want you to know I appreciate it.”

~

Kaito wonders if she would still do these kinds of things for him if he told her.

~Thursday, September 30th

Kaito wakes up and hisses with pain. Aoko is also currently on top of him, still asleep, which means his stupid body decided to wake him up at an ungodly hour because ow. As if waking up both of them in the middle of the night wasn’t enough-- though this level of pain doesn’t seem bad enough to wake him up, so he’s not sure why he’s awake right now. But regardless, this definitely isn’t gonna go away for the rest of the day. Yaaay.

He tries to scoot out from under Aoko without waking her up, but that was exactly the wrong move and he lets out a strangled noise of pain as he suddenly feels like a knife decided to make a home in his spine. Okay, yeah, no wonder he woke up. Aoko is already stirring because of the unfortunately loud noise. “Mmhph. Whassat?”

“Hang on,” Kaito groans and presses his palms into his eyes, waiting for the stabbing to die down. Which it doesn’t. But at least it’s not spreading to his legs. He'll be able to function well enough today. “Mmmorning,” he groans, dragging his hands down his face. “Didn’t mean to wake you up again.”

“S’fine.” She props herself and squints. “Did Aoko sleep in?” She grabs her phone. “Oh what the hell, it’s barely six.”

“Sorry.”

“Ugh, not gonna be able to go back to sleep now.” She sits up and stretches. “Why are you up so early anyway?”

“Back hurts.”

“Oh no, still? Do you need anything?”

“Knock me unconscious?”

“Well. Maybe, actually. Aoko can be quiet if you need to sleep again.”

“Euuugh, not actually gonna be able to go back to sleep.” He grabs the blanket and throws it over his head. “Mornings suck.”

Kaito feels the weight on the bed shift as Aoko gets up. “You really should switch to showering at night. Takes some stress out of the morning.”

“I like showering in the morning.”

“Sucks to suck, then.”

Kaito sticks one hand out from under the blanket to flip her off. Aoko throws something-- a shirt? At him, so he knows she got the message. “Holler if you need help. Aoko is gonna poke around the kitchen.”

Maybe he should start showering at night. Then he wouldn’t have to spend so much energy in the morning getting ready, at least. That’s a problem to think about later.

For now he just stays in bed another few minutes, psyching himself up to start the day. It’s gonna be a long one. He gets his stretches over with, checks his legs, then gets out of bed. He doesn’t bother getting properly dressed yet since it’s gonna be a while before either of them get ready for school. It would be a skirt kind of day otherwise, but at least they’ve fixed up his uniform pants the same way they did his jeans with the stretchy fabric sewn on. It does help his pants slipping when he’s transferring, and there’s no belts or buckles to cut into his skin without him realizing it.

When he’s finally ready for the day and he joins Aoko in the kitchen, he notes that it’s still pretty dark, even though it’s past sunrise. “Is it still raining?” Kaito asks.

“I think so?” Aoko reaches over the sink and pulls back the curtain to squint out the window. “No, but it looks like it will later.” She turns back to him, letting the curtain fall back into place. “Hey, do you think that’s why it’s so bad?”

[IMG1]

“Huh?”

“Old people get like... well their joints hurt when the weather changes, don’t they? It might be kinda like that.” Her voice trails off to a mutter, looking away. “That sounds stupid, never mind.”

“No, you...” Well. Looking back on it... “You may be right.” He grimaces. “Which sucks, but it makes sense.”

“Is it real bad today?”

“S’just been getting worse, since-- God, it feels like it’s been a week or something. I guess however long it’s been raining.” Kaito rubs the heel of his palm into his left knee. At least he can feel it, give himself some other kind of sensation to focus on. “It just won’t--” he bites his lip and has to take a pause before continuing. “It’s been lasting a long time, is all.”

“Are you up for school?”

“Are you up for pushing me there?”

“Yeah, Aoko can do that.”

Notes:

THIS is my favorite illustration of the whole fic i think. i like a lot of them, but im particularly proud of the framing here.

Chapter 38: pull-ups

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Saturday, October 2nd

Aoko clicks her tongue, glaring at the convenience store that she and Kaito decided to stop at on the way home from Keiko’s house. “Convenience my ass,” she hisses. “Who puts a pole at the top of a wheelchair ramp?”

As much as Kaito loves seeing Aoko get mad at something that isn’t related to his antics, he’s not sure it’s such a big deal this time. At least, not a big enough deal for her to switch pronouns over it. Kaito sizes up the seven shallow steps leading up to the raised platform where the door is situated. “I can get up this.”

“Huh?” Aoko blinks at him, anger fizzled out. “You sure?”

“This is what my crutches are for. Better get used to using them in public.” He reaches into his bag for the single collapsed crutch. “And besides, I’ve got you to catch me if something manages to go horrifically wrong in the fifteen seconds it’ll take to climb the stairs.”

“Right, right. Aoko will be behind you, then.”

Getting out of his wheelchair and getting himself situated with one arm in a crutch and the other on the railing is more difficult than the actual walking up the stairs part. They’re nowhere near as steep as the ones in his house, so it’s not a lot of time or physical strain to shuffle up them. Mentally, the tax from the people who have given him sideways looks is heavy. It was only three people who saw by the time he sits back down in his chair, but their gaze lingers on him even after they’ve stopped looking.

“It didn’t look like you had any trouble,” Aoko says brightly. “You ready to go?”

“Yep, let’s roll.”

~Sunday, October 10th

Kaito is confident enough in his arm strength again that he wants to do something that he thought impossible right after he got injured: pull-ups.

The pull-up bar that he used to use is probably still above his old bedroom door, assuming Chikage didn’t take it down. He doesn’t really know if she did any redecorating or moved stuff around in the time she was back, since he hasn’t been upstairs since the accident. He’s used the stairs for exercise, like practicing with his crutches and stuff, but hasn’t actually been around upstairs. Hasn’t needed to.

Well, there’s a first time for everything.

God, if he slips when he’s up here, it’ll be a nightmare to stand back up. He’ll probably just call it a day and scoot down the stairs on his butt if that happens.

But he gets up just fine, though stairs took more out of him than he thought they would. He’s really only gonna be able to grab the bar-- if he can grab it without falling-- and get back down the stairs by the time he runs out of energy. Not like he planned to try actual pull-ups by himself without a spotter, but doing too much upstairs could cut into his plans for the rest of the day if it drains him too much. 

The point is, Aoko isn’t here. And he’s not attempting something like this by himself when there’s a chance of him royally screwing everything up. It’s not too hard to get the bar down, though. He has to balance himself on one crutch to lift the other one and knock the bar off the door. The problem then arises when he can’t bend down to get the bar, and he can’t just kick it downstairs.

Welp. Time to get back on the floor so he can toss the pull-up bar and his crutches both down to the first floor. Butt-scooting down the stairs it is.

~Tuesday, October 12th

Aoko gets out a stepstool to put the pull-up bar above his bedroom door, but she still has to get on her tiptoes to reach it. “Okay, this seems steady.” She yanks it a few times to make sure before climbing down. “Will this work?”

Kaito rolls up to the door. “I mean, so long as I can reach, I don’t see why not.” He gets one hand on Aoko’s shoulder, the other on the doorframe, and pulls himself up.

Aoko puts her hands on his torso to make sure he doesn’t tip. “Yeah, but won’t your feet drag on the floor?”

“Only one way to find out. You got me?” Aoko nods, and Kaito lets go of the doorframe and quickly reaches up to grip the handle of the pull-up bar. He can actually hold himself upright like this since he’s basically just hanging, and hanging from one hand wasn’t ever too difficult for him to do, but Aoko still hovers as he grabs the other handle. “Okay, I think I’m good.”

“You sure?” She steps back, but stays crouched like she’s ready to jump in at any moment.

“Uh-huh. Hang on...” It’s more difficult to pull himself up than it was before, actually a lot more difficult than he thought it would be. Maybe it’s because he’s lost some muscle mass since he can’t do all the stuff he used to, or maybe it’s just because it’s awkward without being able to lift his legs-- but in the end he manages a successful pull-up. “Ha!”

[IMG1]

“You did it!” Aoko cheers.

“Actually, uh-- help me get back down, one pull-up is all I’ve got in me right now.”

Notes:

you ever notice how many poles obstruct sidewalks and ramps and stuff because i sure as hell do

Chapter 39: crutches

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Sunday, October 17th

Kaito hasn’t used his crutches outside of the house yet. Well, he has, because he keeps one in his bag and uses it to walk short distances. Like, really short, like just getting up a few steps because there’s no ramps and stuff like that, ‘cause he can’t get very far with only one crutch and no leg braces. Both crutches and braces are for around the house, or like walking to the park, but still not that long. If he’s leaving the house to go anywhere outside his neighborhood, he’s always rolled out with his wheelchair first thing. He doesn’t want to be out and about on crutches when he decides he really needs his chair. It’s not like he can always tell when the pain is randomly going to get worse, or when he’s going to suddenly lose all his energy and feel like he wants to crawl into a hole and sleep for a year.

But now that he’s gotten reacquainted with his body somewhat, it’s easier to tell how his days are gonna go.

And right now, he thinks that he can probably ditch his chair for the day. He knows it’ll be a good day. He can go out on a short excursion, just to test the waters. God, it’ll be nice to actually walk again instead of having to maneuver his chair around a bunch of stupid obstacles and have people dramatically move out of his way like he’s got the plague just because they’re awkward about his wheelchair.

He gets enough side-eyes from strangers about standing up from his wheelchair for a few seconds to get his chair across some impossible terrain before sitting back down, even though he has to use his crutch because he’s straight up incapable of standing without an aid. But now he won’t get those looks because there’s no wheelchair to stand up from.

His doctor and physical therapist pulled no punches with him, they said they doubted he would ever walk unassisted ever again. And... yeah, okay, he kind of agrees with that now. And he knows he’ll be using his wheelchair tomorrow because walking with crutches is really tiring, but maybe he can use crutches more often in the future if he keeps improving.

And he has been improving. On normal days he can use his crutches to get around the house at least half the time. And some rare days like today is shaping up to be, he can get away with using crutches for the whole day around the house. He event went out to the park with Aoko using just crutches. It wasn’t for very long, sure, but he’s never really gonna know what his limit is with this until he pushes it. So--

“Eh? You’re not using your wheelchair?” Aoko says in surprise.

“Yeah, I think I can manage with crutches.”

Aoko fixes him with a Look that’s somewhere between doubt and worry. “For the whole day, though?”

“Come ooon, Aoko,” he whines. “I know my limits, yeah? And it’s not even a whole day, we’re just going shopping. What’s that even gonna take, a couple of hours? It’s not a whole day.”

“Well... if you’re sure, yeah. We’ll keep it quick.

~

Kaito is. Uh. Kind of nervous, now that they’re on the train. He’s sitting, yes, but it’s not on his chair. A voice in the back of his head says he’s gonna get a pressure sore from the hard seats of the train, even though they’re getting off the train in ten minutes to get to the shopping center. He won’t even be sitting for long enough to bruise.

That thought-- he won’t be sitting for much longer-- suddenly sends his heart racing. Maybe this was a bad idea, actually. But he’s already here. But he doesn’t have his wheelchair--

“Whatcha thinking about?” Aoko asks.

He may or may not be about to have a panic attack because he left the house without his wheelchair, but this is fine. He just has to get used to it, especially if he wants to walk around with his crutches more often, and eventually move on to a cane. It’s kind of alarming how fast he got used to the wheelchair, honestly. This is just gonna be a setback in the long run, he has to get over this. They’re only gonna be out of the house for like an hour, maybe two, tops. He’s used his crutches for longer than that at the house, right? That’s why he suggested leaving his chair at home in the first place.

“Dinner,” he lies smoothly. “I kinda want curry.”

“Ohh, that sounds good actually.”

Around the half hour mark, his legs starts aching. 

An hour, and it’s progressed to mild burning, but it’s not that bad. Shopping is taking a bit longer than they thought because they had to go to a convenience store afterwards, but it’s not far away. They’re going home right after that.

An hour and a half, and there’s a particularly angry woman in front of them at checkout who argues with the cashier. It’s another fifteen minutes to get out of the store, and Kaito is trying his best not to shake. He keeps a too-tight grip on his crutches and just follows behind Aoko.

They’re creeping over two hours. The time it takes to get from the store to the train feels longer than when they were going to the store. Kaito’s been keeping his eyes on the ground, watching for cracks and rocks and uneven bits of sidewalk, which isn’t helping his energy levels right now.

He thought he was keeping a straight face, but apparently not since Aoko asks, “Should we sit down for a bit? There’s a bench over there.”

If he sits down, there’s no way he’s standing back up again. He’ll figure out what to do on the train. Probably. Maybe. “I’m tired, but I’ll be fine. I just wanna get home.”

“We can cut through the park to get to the train station faster,” Aoko suggests. “The park will be more uneven than the sidewalk, though.”

Kaito feels his heart sink at the idea of shuffling across something other than relatively flat ground. But there aren’t any hills, and the trees in the park are far enough apart that he won’t trip over roots. It’ll still be bumpy, but... he just wants to go home. “It cuts down time, that’s probably better.”

They’re not even halfway through the park when he stumbles over a rock he couldn’t see. It’s not bad, he doesn’t fall-- but it jars him, making him wince as his hip protests the stumble. The next step he takes has an even sharper pain shooting from his hip all the way up his torso, accompanied by a lurch in his stomach. He almost pitches forward because of how fast he stops, one crutch slipping off his arm as he throws his hand over his mouth.

“Kaito!” Aoko immediately sets down the grocery bags to get her hands on him, to make sure he doesn’t fall.

Kaito can’t-- it feels like he can’t even open his mouth because of the clenching in his gut. 

[IMG1]

Aoko’s eyebrows knit together with worry. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

He has to swallow back bile to say, “This was a bad idea,” in a rush. “Everything hurts, and I’m uh-- I’m kinda freaking out ‘cause I don’t have my chair.” His arm is shaking. He won’t be able to keep himself upright much longer. “I--” He gags at another lurch in his stomach, and that sends him over the edge. He doubles over and throws up, only barely registering Aoko’s arms that keep him from crashing into the dirt completely.

After he’s thrown up he’s aware that Aoko is gripping him tighter to lower him onto the grass, carefully so he doesn’t crash and hurt himself even worse than he’s already hurting right now. He gags again when he’s finally sitting down, but nothing comes up. He keeps dry heaving, barely able to catch his breath as Aoko rubs circles between his shoulders.

His eyes are watering from the force of it, or maybe just from the rest of the pain radiating in his body. “I thought I could--” he chokes back on tears. “I wanted to--” He chokes again, unable to finish the sentence.

“It’s okay, just let it out.”

Kaito wipes his mouth with his sleeve-- oh, disgusting, but he doesn’t have the energy to think too hard about ruining his clothes, not when his spine is in a vice grip and his legs are still burning even now that he’s sitting down. He hiccups, trying to keep his tears in, but he really doesn’t have any control over what his body is doing anymore. “I just wanted to walk,” he sobs.

He presses his arms to his stomach, trying to calm down the nausea that’s still going full force. Crying definitely isn’t helping him, but at least he’s keeping his hands away from his legs even though they’re on fire. He doesn’t wanna bruise them again.

“Aoko will call Dad, he can come pick us up.”

“No-- no, you don’t have to call Ginzou-ji. We can go back home after I just sit for a minute. He’s at work, we shouldn’t--”

“Kaito,” she looks him dead in the eye. “Don’t.”

He isn’t even sure how he was gonna try and argue with that, ‘cause his words get cut off with another gasp, sucking in air painfully as another wave of hot pain spreads over his legs. He grits his teeth and nods, giving her the go-ahead to call. Not that she needs it, she’d just do it anyway.

Aoko takes out her phone and calls Ginzou. Kaito promptly makes his best effort to dissociate so he doesn’t have to feel how every single inch from his waist down is on fire. It doesn’t work all that well.

He grips his knees with shaking, white-knuckled hands. They feel thin, he can barely find muscles on them underneath his fingers even if they don’t outwardly look too different. Why did he think he could do this? Go so long without his wheelchair? He should have told Aoko they had to turn around as soon as he started getting scared on the train. Even just sitting on the grass like this feels wrong when his chair isn’t in sight, without his cushion beneath him. Better than standing, but he’s stuck. He can’t move. His chair means he’s mobile. And not in as much pain. He’s so fucking stupid.

God, he feels like he’s gonna throw up again. Aoko finishes the call and turns to him again. “You gonna be okay?” She puts her hands on his, prying his fingers off his legs. 

Kaito lets her move his hands away, and he switches to pressing his arms over his stomach again. He needs to pay more attention to his hands. “Sooner we get home the better,” he hisses. “But I’m... better. Now that I’m sitting.” Not like he has another option, though.

She slides up close to them so their thighs are touching and reaches her hand around to his back to rub her thumb into his back-- gently-- but even that much makes him moan. “Is this too much?”

“No, s’good.” Sorta. It doesn’t exactly feel better, but it’s good. “Sorry.”

“You overestimated yourself. It’s fine. Now we know not to do this anymore.”

“I shoulda said we had to turn around on the train.”

“It’s fine,” Aoko says firmly. “Just do better next time, Bakaito.”

“...’Kay. Okay.”

~

Ginzou has a bad feeling when he gets a call from Aoko. And of course, that feeling is correct. “Dad, can you come pick up Aoko and Kaito?”

“What? Why.” If they were trespassing again, he’s going to kill them. “What did you do?”

“Aoko and Kaito were going grocery shopping, and Kaito wanted to try using his crutches outside because it was supposed to be a quick trip, but, um, it didn’t really end up... It was longer than we thought, and Kaito hit his limit and he can’t walk anymore. We’re kinda stranded at the park next to the train station.”

“Why would...” Ginzou pinches the bridge of his nose. “His crutches are for short distances,” he snaps.

“Yeah. We, um. We messed up.”

“Messed up,” he growls. He’s going to kill both of them. Kaito’s been good about his limits lately, but he should’ve known it was about time for Kaito to do something stupid and hurt himself. “Text me where you are.”

He hasn’t had to leave work for a family emergency since the actual accident. It’s a miracle it’s taken this long, honestly. At least they’re just stranded and he’s not actually hurt. He hopes not, at least.

The detour he takes back to their houses to get Kaito’s wheelchair isn’t that long, but he’s wound up tight already with how long it’s taking him to get to them, and he can’t help but worry about each added minute.

He pulls Kaito’s chair out of the trunk and makes his way through the park to find them sitting far from the sidewalk, under a cluster of trees that don’t shade them with the angle of the afternoon light.

Aoko’s got her arms wrapped around Kaito, who’s bent forward and shaking. When he looks up Ginzou sees that his face is pale and ashy and he looks like he’s about to cry, or like he just got finished doing so. Judging by his voice when he says “Hey, Ginzou-ji,” it’s the latter. “Sorry.”

“Don’t say sorry ‘cause you need help, kid,” Ginzou says roughly. “Be more concerned about not hurting yourself in the first place. We don’t wanna see you back in the hospital.”

“Right.”

“Come on, let’s get you in your wheelchair.”

Kaito reaches his arms up to Ginzou, like a little kid asking to be picked up. He still is a kid, and God, he doesn’t deserve any of this shit. For the brief time Ginzou has him in his arms, Kaito’s nails dig into Ginzou’s arms. He seems to relax when he’s back in his wheelchair, but he’s still shaky.

“It’ll be a bit bumpy until we hit the sidewalk, so bear with it for a bit.”

Kaito just nods.

He doesn’t even let Kaito try to get into the car by himself. Ginzou helps him get in the seat, and puts his wheelchair in the trunk as Aoko climbs in next to Kaito.

The car ride itself is silent, until Ginzou can’t take it anymore. “Kaito-kun, what were you even thinking, pulling a stunt like this?” It used to be that pulling a stunt like this meant that Kaito and Aoko did something stupid and got the cops called on them or otherwise had to be rescued from batshit situations they get themselves caught in-- usually being public nuisances or breaking into private or abandoned property. He thinks he’d rather go back to that over rescuing them because Kaito gets stranded without a wheelchair.

“I just... thought I could try to get used to it.”

“Next time try something less drastic,” he snaps. He glances in the rearview mirror to see that Kaito has gone from leaning on Aoko to just laying down in the backseat, his face mostly obscured by his hair and hands.

IMG2

“M’not gonna do something like this again. Don’t w--orry.” Kaito’s breath hitches mid-word when the car hits a bump on the road. Ginzou tries to drive a little smoother.

Notes:

my SECOND favorite illustration in the fic is this one with the mirror

we wrapping up act 2 in these next couple of chapters... gettin closer to my boy saguru...

Chapter 40: staying home

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Monday, October 18th

Normally Ginzou would turn on the TV for background noise when he’s working from home, but he doesn’t want to wake up Kaito. He needs all the rest he can get after yesterday.

He’s set up with his laptop at the kitchen table and a mug of coffee. When it’s near noon and the morning sunlight isn’t threatening to put a glare on his laptop screen anymore, he opens the blinds and cracks the window for some fresh air. It’s around that time he hears the bedroom door open and sees Kaito come into the kitchen. He looks worn and confused, still wearing the crumpled clothes he fell asleep in last night. “Ginzou-ji...?”

“I’m working from home today.”

Kaito looks confused for a moment, but the expression quickly passes. “You didn’t have to. I was gonna go to school.” He rubs a hand over his face, looking dazed. “Did Aoko turn off my alarm?”

“Yep.”

“But... school,” he says dumbly.

Ginzou raises an eyebrow. “Do you really think you could have managed school today?”

“...No.” Kaito finally wheels himself closer, hissing in pain. “Why are you over here, though?”

“Because if I weren’t here, Aoko would try and skip school to take care of you.”

“I can manage by my--”

Ginzou fixes him with a Look that both his kids know well: say another stupid thing, and he’ll cuff you so hard you’ll forget your own name.

“Eugh,” Kaito grimaces. “I always forget how much scarier that is on you than on Aoko.”

“Well?”

“...Yeah, I shouldn’t strain myself.”

Drilling this stuff into Kaito’s head feels like trying to nail jello to a wall, but at least he’s not objecting much anymore. Ginzou closes his laptop and gets up from the table. “I haven’t had lunch yet. You got anything in mind?”

“No. Not hungry.”

“You’ve gotta eat something. You didn’t eat at all last night.”

“‘Cause I felt like I was gonna throw up,” he mumbles as he goes into the kitchen. “Still kinda feel like I’m gonna throw up. I’m just gonna take my meds and--” he stops short. “Oh no, my doves--”

“Aoko fed them this morning.” Ginzou steps past Kaito into the kitchen. “And I’m going to feed you. Go sit down.”

“Already sitting.”

“At the table, you little smartass.”

“I’ll just make toast or something, stop nagging,” Kaito whines.

“Alright then.” Ginzou supposes he can just make a sandwich for himself, then. He can get back to work quicker that way too if he’s not cooking a real meal. “So,” he asks as he pulls out a loaf of bread from the pantry. “Is Aoko gonna keep staying nights over here?”

“I dunno. I guess she doesn’t really need to anymore.”

God knows they did need it at the time though, after all that shit. They were so scared they couldn’t go more than a few hours out of each others’ sight. It was especially rough before Kaito was released from the hospital.

Kaito shrugs and takes a slice of bread from Ginzou. “But it feels weird sleeping alone now.” Not the response he was expecting, at least not such a nonchalant one. “I know it’s kinda weird, but I don’t think it needs to be a big deal, does it?”

Jesus Christ, neither of these kids realize how head over heels they are for each other, do they? At this rate, Ginzou is gonna kick the bucket before they finally get over themselves. “I guess it doesn’t, so long as you two aren’t doing anything inappropriate.”

“Oh, gross. Why’d you have to-- I’m trying to eat here! I’m making an effort, and you do this to me. In my own home.”

Ginzou shrugs. “I’m just saying.”

“And I’m just saying you should let me eat my toast in peace.”

~

Kaito rolls up to the kitchen table sometime mid-afternoon and slaps a deck of cards down. “You wanna be a victim?”

“You mean audience?”

“Nope.” He thumbs through the cards, pulling a few out.

Ginzou snorts. “Sure.” He closes his laptop. “I could use a bit of a break anyway.”

“Alright, I got three cards.” Kaito spreads them out so Ginzou can see the backs. He flips them over one by one to show the faces. “First one’s the joker. Second one’s the second joker, and the third one’s an ace. Ace is on top. Now, all you have to do is tell me where the ace is...”

[IMG1]

His hands aren’t moving fast at all, but Ginzou can’t see the trick as he shuffles the cards in front of him to keep moving the ace around. Ginzou keeps trying to guess the position and Kaito turns over joker after joker. “How long do I have to keep guessing?”

“Just one more round, promise. Tell me where the ace is.”

“The middle card?”

“Wrong! It’s the king of diamo--” Kaito makes a small noise that Ginzou almost doesn’t catch before his hands fumble, the cards scattering across the table and on the floor.

“Kaito-kun?”

“Ow.” He says it calmly, but his hands are balled into tight fists, turning his knuckles white. “Took me by surprise, that’s all.”

Kaito reaches to pick up the fallen cards on the floor, but Ginzou beats him to it. “I got it.”

“Thanks.” There’s a bite to his voice that takes Ginzou off guard.

“...Are you alright?”

A bitter look crosses Kaito’s face. “I can’t even keep my hands steady enough for a fucking card trick.”

Ginzou sighs. “I’m sorry, Kaito-kun. Is there anything I can do right now?”

“No. I’ll just--” His brows furrow, looking even more frustrated. “I--” He swears under his breath. “I’m gonna go play Zelda or something.”

Ginzou goes back to finishing up work, but he watches Kaito out of the corner of his eye as he leaves to his bedroom and comes back out to the living room. He doesn’t struggle when he transfers over to the couch, thank God, but he makes note of how still Kaito is when he sits down, gripping the edge of the couch cushions and keeping his head bowed for an uncomfortable amount of time before he grabs his handheld thing, pulls his legs up, and lays down on the couch to play his game.

It doesn’t take Ginzou too much longer after that to finish his work, and for once he doesn’t feel up to doing overtime, even if it’s in the comfort of his own home (sort of). Yesterday was a lot for all of them, and besides that, he’s not gonna leave Aoko and Kaito to fend for themselves for dinner this time. Better get cracking.

He heads to the living room to find Kaito still lying flat on the couch, his game in his hands and his hands above his head, staring straight up, barely blinking.

“What’s got you looking like that?”

“Huh?” He snaps his head over to Ginzou.

“You’re looking at the ceiling like it’s gonna give you the secrets of the universe or something.”

“No, I was just thinking about--” he cuts himself off and furrows his brow. “It’s been three months since the accident.”

“Wait,” that can’t be right. “Only three?

“Yeah. Kinda how I feel too.” He finally brings his hands down to his chest.

“Jesus,” Ginzou mutters. “Well--” he doesn’t know what to say to that. Maybe he should distract, at least a little bit. “Are you feeling any better? From yesterday, I mean.”

“Ish?” Kaito says in a voice that says he definitely has no idea. “I’m trying not to think about it.”

“Fair enough,” Ginzou grunts. “Do you need anything right now?”

“Nnnah, don’t think so.” Kaito readjusts himself and grabs his game again. “Just gonna stay here for a while. Maybe for the rest of the week, who knows.”

~

[IMG2]

“Hey, Ginzou-ji!” Kaito shouts. “Aoko is bringing Keiko over!”

“Good to know!”

Kaito busies himself with not letting Link die to Cryak until they get here, not really eager to get off the couch until dinnertime.

“We’re here!” Aoko yells as soon as she flings the door open. Ginzou and Kaito both shout back different greetings as the girls make their way to the living room.

Kaito props himself up, hooks an arm under his legs, and swings them over the side of the couch. “Oh, ow. That was too fast.”

“Are you okay?” Keiko asks.

“You look like crap,” Aoko says.

“Yeah, still feel like crap.” He winces, rubbing the heel of his palm into his knee. It doesn’t help, but occupying his hands like this is better than bruising his thighs again. “Yesterday was just... massively stupid. But hey, now we know I really can’t walk.”

“As opposed to before, when we knew that you really can’t walk,” Aoko deadpans.

He shoots her some fingerguns. “Exactly.”

She rolls her eyes. “Well... before it got too much, you were walking pretty well.”

“Aoko said you walked for like two whole hours.” Keiko sits on the couch. “That’s a lot.”

“Yeah. I mean, technically it’s gotten easier.” He shrugs. “I’ve gotten more mobility back, I’m more used to navigating my body, it’s just...”

“Ow?” Aoko offers.

“Yyyeah. Ow. Unless that goes down, m’not gonna hold out hope for walking around for long periods.”

“Do you think you might be able to walk without crutches someday...?” Keiko asks hesitantly.

“I might be able to work my way up to a cane? That’d be a lot easier for getting over stairs and stuff I can’t get over with my chair. Dunno about hands-free, though.”

“Guess we won’t know until a few years are up,” Aoko hums. “You could keep on getting feeling back in your legs.”

“Yeah. Hopefully.”

Notes:

at one point i was gonna animate kaito to the king of diamonds audio bit but i do Not have the energy for that

Chapter 41: all downhill from here

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Thursday, October 14th

[IMG1]

[IMG2]

[IMG3]

[IMG4]

Notes:

FOR ANYONE READING THIS AS A COMPLETED WORK: THIS IS THE END OF ACT 2. ITS A GOOD PLACE TO TAKE A BREAK. GO DRINK SOME WATER, OR GO TO BED, REMEMBER TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR PHYSICAL FORM.

anyway, this is actually the first comic i drew for this fic! originally it was just a goof that i planned to post on tumblr, but then i realized that there are no rules and i can have super short comic chapters like this.

writing fanfiction for me is a process of repeatedly realizing that i can just Do What I Want and no one can stop me

Chapter 42: three months

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Wednesday, August 18th

It’s been exactly a month since Kaitou Kid’s last heist. Saguru may be in England at the moment, but he likes to keep tabs on Kid’s activity even when he’s not there to do anything about it. It’s interesting, if nothing else.

Since Kid’s return a year ago, (2009, June 10th, 23:09:02,) the maximum gap between heists has been thirty four days. Kuroba must be planning something big, but Saguru won’t be able to find out what he’s up to until he returns. He’ll be back in Japan in four days, and school starts in twelve days, and he can observe Kuroba there. If he doesn’t make another appearance before then, Saguru will figure it out soon enough.

~Monday, August 30th

Kuroba returns to school in a wheelchair and with the announcement that it’s permanent, and Saguru’s first thought is that this is the end of Kaitou Kid.

He’s... he thinks he’s upset. (That kind of thing is always so hard to identify.) Yes, he’s upset for Kuroba. (Sympathetic, but not empathetic.) Even though he’s irritating and even infuriating at times, it’s hard to not feel sorry for a peer whose life is so abruptly changed by an accident like this.

He’s also upset about the abrupt halt to the Kid heists.

Saguru and Kuroba aren’t friends, not by a longshot. Kuroba makes no attempt to hide his continued complete disdain for Saguru’s existence. It’s understandable, as Saguru is a direct threat to his secret identity as Kid.

However, setting aside the fact that he won’t let Kid be found out for the moment due to the Spider situation... he can’t-- couldn’t-- actually catch Kid. He hasn’t been able to get tangible proof that Kuroba is Kid. Saguru has to admire his genius. He normally works in corporate crime and less dramatic theft, so he’s never had as much of a thrill as when trying to think his way around the tricks and traps Kid sets. It’s a disappointment when Saguru fails, but having someone who can throw Saguru for a loop is a rarity. (Exhilarating.)

And now it’s over.

~Wednesday, September 1st

Now knowing Kuroba is permanently injured, the lack of activity makes sense. (It was on the night of his last heist, no less. Saguru was away for summer break. He had no idea.)

He hasn’t exactly come to terms with the end of the heists. But at least he knows the reason why they’re over. Knowing why makes it easier to deal with. (No longer a point of stress that lends fuel to a future meltdown. At least, not a major point.)

Nakamori expects word from Kid any day now. He goes home more and more frustrated with each passing day.

~Saturday, September 18th

Exactly two months since the last heist. Nakamori is tearing his hair out, wondering if he’s disappeared again. He’s yelling more than usual. (Saguru doesn’t flinch, but he wishes he could bring his headphones to work without standing out.)

~Friday, October 1st

Still no notices, obviously. Saguru is glad he’s established himself with the task force enough that he can work on other cases under Nakamori’s supervision (fraud, something he’s familiar with,) in what everyone else assumes must be an interim until Kid’s return. The input they allow him to give is minimal at best, (and the only reason he’s still here is due to his status as the Superintendent General’s son,) but he’ll take what he can get. He might go insane if he gets kicked out completely. He’s gotten used to working with these specific people, though he knows they dislike him. He doesn’t want to ruin a routine now that he’s established it. Something new would take a significant amount of time and energy to adjust that Saguru doesn’t want to spend. He’ll climb his way into good graces and better cases so long as he doesn’t piss everyone off first.

~Monday, October 18th

Three months. Not a word from Kid. Nakamori is losing his mind.

Saguru almost wishes he could say something.

[IMG1]

Notes:

SAGURUUUU MY BOY god we're getting into some of my favorite bits now. its another short chapter i know but the next chapter is real long dw

Chapter 43: unwanted help

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Thursday, October 21st

Kaito has a very big extremely bad problem.

The elevator at school is broken.

This... he’s technically planned for this. He’s got a crutch folded up in the bag that he’s fixed just underneath his chair like he always does. He’s used it before in other places, but not at school. Not for a whole flight of stairs-- he doesn’t know if he can manage that. Especially when he’s by himself, because Aoko caught a cold. So she’s at home in bed while Kaito is sitting in front of the taped off elevator, staring at it with an increasing uneasiness.

He thinks... no, actually, he’s pretty sure he can do it. He only has to go up the stairs once. Going down will be less steady but also less taxing, so going up will be the biggest energy drain of the day. After the mess when he tried to use crutches all day, he’s not even gonna try and overestimate himself again, so he takes a moment and assesses the situation as best he can. He’s not in much pain, he’s not tired, and since he’s been exercising more again he can lift himself off the ground completely on arm strength, so... going up the stairs (going slowly and not pushing himself) will take a minute, maybe a couple or something if he’s having trouble. It’s a length of time he’s comfortable with. This is doable.

What he’s not looking forward to isn’t the fact that he has to haul up the stairs, but more of the fact that his schoolmates will see him stand up and walk. He hasn’t actually used his crutches at school before, and people are no doubt gonna be weird about it. He gets enough shit from strangers in public who see him standing up for like thirty seconds to maneuver somewhere his wheelchair can't get over, even when he’s obviously using crutches or Aoko is supporting him.

Not to mention he just... he hates how he looks while walking, now. He’s got the whole wheelchair thing down, he can maneuver with precision and make it look effortless. Walking-- that’s just an awkward affair that he can’t make look any better than what he’s got.

No use putting it off, though.

“Hey, Ono-kun!” Kaito calls out as he rolls up to the base of the stairs.

“Kuroba-kun,” he greets. “What’s up?”

“The elevator is broken so I’ve gotta go up the stairs, can you do me a favor and carry my chair?”

Ono immediately looks uncomfortable, glancing at the stairs. “I... I don’t think I can lift that much.”

“No no, my chair is like, 5 kilos. I can get up the stairs on my own, I just can’t carry my chair while doing it.” Just don’t make a big deal of it, and they shouldn’t either. Hopefully. He pulls out his crutch and locks it into place. “I’ll be slow, so you don’t have to wait for me. You can just leave it at the top of the stairs.”

“You can-- wait, what?”

“I can walk with crutches for a bit, but not very long.” He grabs the railing of the stairs and pulls himself as close as he can get to it, then puts the brakes on. He adjusts his hand on his crutch, digging it into the floor and using it as stability while he pulls himself up on the stair railing. He’s immediately unsteady without his braces, so he pays special attention to his feet as he straightens up.

Ono, unfortunately, stares at him like he’s witnessing a miracle. Kaito is aware of several other people giving him various Looks, ranging from shock to confusion to the one he hates the most: judgment.

“If you keep standing there and staring, I’m gonna make it up the stairs before you do,” he teases. “My bag is on the back of my chair, careful so it doesn’t slip off.”

Shuffling up the stairs is, as stairs always are, difficult and time consuming. Hand on the rail, crutch on the floor, lift himself up and shuffle his right foot up a step since he’s got more motion with that leg, then follow with his left foot. Move his crutch to the same step as his feet, move his hand up the railing a little bit, and repeat for all twenty six steps. Fun. But it gives him something to focus on other than the sixteen people who pass him by on the stairs, other than the seven of those people who slow down to look at him more closely because they recognize him as the guy who should be in the wheelchair, other than the fact that none of them actually speak to him and move along as quickly as possible before they get caught looking too long.

He doesn’t exactly keep track of the time, but it really doesn’t take much longer than a minute like he thought, and he’s not winded or in any more pain than he is on a normal day. Nice. 

Ono is waiting at the top of the stairs, which means Kaito can tell him “Thanks,” as he lowers himself back into his chair. He grabs his knees to pull his feet up into the footrest. “Go ahead and ask, I know you want to.”

“Didn’t you... break your back?”

“Alright, let’s go down the list.” He holds up his hand to count his points out on his fingers. “Yes, I broke my back. I have an incomplete spinal cord injury. That means I can feel some of my legs. Like, a little bit. Yes, I can walk for a little while. No, I’m not miraculously better. Yes, I’m still going to need my wheelchair for the rest of my life.” Kaito adjusts himself in his chair. “I think that covers everything. Does it?”

“I, uh, think so? I didn’t know that was like... a thing.”

“Well hey, now you do,” Kaito says, unlocking the brakes. “And thanks again.”

“Yeah, no problem.” Ono seems dazed, but that’s not Kaito’s problem. He’s just gonna get to class and go about his day like normal.

~

The last class of the day is over, and Kaito is.

Exhausted.

Sometime around lunch his spine decided to protest being in his body by making what feels like an attempt to wrench itself out of his back, and it hasn’t gotten better as the day went on. The stairs this morning weren’t a big deal, but they certainly will be now.

Kaito makes his way to the front of the classroom to catch the teacher before she leaves. “Sensei, do you know when the elevator is gonna get fixed?”

“The elevator?” She glances to the hallway. “I didn’t even know it was broken. I’m not sure when it will...” There it is, he sees the minute the realization crosses her face. “Oh my goodness--! Kuroba-kun, how did you even get--?”

“I can walk for a little while with crutches, it’s fine.” It’s not really fine, but he would rather gloss over it when there’s nothing to be done at the moment. “But if you get an update on the elevator, I’d really like to know.”

“Yes, of course, I’ll tell you as soon as I know. I’m so sorry, Kuroba-kun, we’ll get this fixed as soon as possible.” He expects her flustered attitude, but it doesn’t make it less uncomfortable. He doesn’t wanna make a big deal out of it, he just wants to know.

He goes back to his desk to fetch his bag, digging through it to get his gloves while glancing around the room to find Keiko. Not here, so he puts his gloves on and heads out to look for her in the art club room. He doesn’t have to weave past people in the hall, they tend to get out of his way quickly. Kaito pokes his head into the art club room. “Hey, is Keiko in here?”

“Uhh, haven’t seen her?”

“I think she went home early.”

“Yeah, she dipped today.”

Dammit. “Thanks anyway.” He waves over his shoulder, rolling towards the stairs but stopping short enough so that people won’t think he’s prepping himself to go down them.

Okay.

Not great.

He doesn’t feel steady enough to stand on his own, even with his crutch. Especially not going down the stairs. He’s almost guaranteed to slip. He was gonna ask Keiko to let him lean on her, but-- eugh. Great.

Not the worst thing in the world. It’s fine, he needs help, he doesn’t have to be embarrassed. He’s not gonna die. He’ll find someone and ask for help. No big deal. He’s not gonna be stupid about this just because it’s uncomfortable.

So, he’s just gotta take a minute to mentally prep before approaching someone. He makes a note of everyone still in the hall, sorting through who will make the least fuss about carrying his chair as well as not completely flip their lid over the fact that he can walk. Ono is at the top of the list, of course. He takes a deep breath, puts his hands on his wheels so he can turn around to ask Ono to help again, and... ah. He’s just disappeared into their classroom. Kaito shouldn’t go in, he doesn’t wanna seem desperate by following him.

Kaito runs a hand down his face. Never mind, he would prefer to look desperate instead of ask someone new for help who might be super weird about it. He goes back to the classroom to track Ono down.

He really wishes he’d managed to catch Keiko before she left. She probably doesn’t even know the elevator is broken, or she would have offered help in the first place. He didn’t account for her skipping art club that day, which was an incredibly stupid move on his part that leaves him more unsettled than it should. He shouldn’t rely so heavily on other people’s habits and routines, they can break them at any time.

Something twists in his chest. He has to suck it up and ask for help. No getting around it. Ono is right there, in view as soon as Kaito enters the classroom, but it’s hard to approach and get the words out of his mouth. He stays near the door, stalling.

He has kind of a dumb idea, but he’ll take any kind of comfort right now, so he reaches behind him and flips up the handles on his chair. Aoko and Keiko aren’t here to see it but it feels better, like he’s already halfway to asking for help out loud. He adjusts his bag in his lap and feels the slight jerk of someone grabbing his wheelchair from behind.

Kaito doesn’t even think. He grabs his wheels and rams his chair backwards as hard as he can. He hears a thump on the floor through the blood rushing in his ears-- he downed the asshole, good. He swivels his chair around, and--

It’s Hakuba.

Of course it’s that bastard. He grits his teeth, trying to keep his expression even. But when he opens his mouth it still comes out as a yell: “What’s your damage?!”

The noise in the classroom quiets considerably.

Hakuba is flat on his ass and gaping like a fish out of water. “I... was trying to help,” he says stupidly.

Kaito realizes a few things in an awful cascade of thoughts. Hakuba has never offered to help him before, because why would he? So something must have changed to make him suddenly offer. Kaito knows his poker face is fine. The only thing that gave him away was-- was it the handles? Hakuba must have noticed how he asks Aoko or Keiko to-- he noticed. He should have expected it, the bastard notices everything, and he always keeps a close eye on Kaito. But why would he try to help Kaito anyway? Does he have a motive or something? It would be just like him to use this to act superior for being a good samaritan.

No. No no no, Kaito cannot deal with this. His heart is still hammering from the panic of being grabbed without warning. He doesn’t bother responding, just turns around and wheels out of the room.

~

Saguru doesn’t know what he did wrong.

The system Kuroba developed with Aoko and Keiko when he needs assistance is fairly obvious. Perhaps not to anyone else, which is why they have a system in the first place to avoid drawing attention to Kuroba, but of course Saguru noticed. (He would be a poor detective if he didn’t.)

Seeing Kuroba flip up the handles on his chair, Saguru figured he wanted help. And Saguru couldn’t just ignore that, it would be cruel to ignore a disabled classmate asking for assistance.

But Kuroba clearly panicked, and was angry at him. Was it just because it was Saguru who tried to help? He didn’t think that their disagreements were so bad that Kuroba would refuse him when he’s in need. But then, he also never imagined Kuroba would lose his composure and yell at him quite like that, even if he’s angry. (Everything surrounding Kuroba has been strange lately.)

Saguru stands up and dusts off his pants, ignoring the few students who are staring at him. He also tries to ignore the heat rising to his face, because his embarrassment doesn’t matter at the moment. Kuroba is still obviously in need of help, and Saguru is the only one who knows. It would be irresponsible to let him storm off by himself like this.

Kuroba’s fastest escape route is the front doors, and Saguru is already out of the classroom and making his way down the stairs while running some quick calculations. Kuroba’s top speed in a wheelchair is 5.62 meters per second. (A terrifying feat, quite frankly.) But in crowded school halls, he averages a 2.21 when he’s “speeding” to make sure there aren’t any collisions. Saguru rounds that down to an even 2.0, considering that Kuroba was asking for assistance earlier. He won’t be in top form. Factoring in the time it takes to use the elevator, they should meet just before Kuroba makes it out the door.

Except, he isn’t at the front doors.

Maybe he underestimated Kuroba’s speed. He steps outside, but he isn’t anywhere to be seen. Even adding another meter or two per second, (which would be highly improbable with the amount of people in the halls,) there’s no way he would be out of sight by now. He stands at the entrance for a few moments, running through several possibilities. He doubts a few shallow steps would stop Kuroba from rolling down them, but the path out the side doors is a bit too narrow to maneuver to make it a reasonable escape route in a wheelchair.

Even if he did go for another route, that doesn’t make sense. He would value speed over trying to take a different route to trip Saguru up in a situation where his goal is escape.

Checking all the entrances on the ground floor would take too long. (Saguru is certain he didn’t use them anyway.) He’ll backtrack. He makes his way to the elevator.

The elevator is broken. (Kuroba is still on the upper floor.)

He jogs up the stairs and asks the first person he sees near the entrance to his classroom, (Nakamura Kyouko, 16, 160cm,) “Did you see Kuroba-kun? Which way did he go?”

She gestures down the hall. “I think he’s in the bathroom.”

Saguru remembers to thank her and makes long and quick strides to the men’s restroom. As soon as the door closes behind him, however, he stands still and observes. The wheelchair-accessible stall is closed. He takes purposeful, audible steps closer. Immediately, he hears the thump of something (Kuroba’s wheelchair,) hitting something else, (likely moving backwards into the wall so Saguru won’t catch a glimpse of the wheels beneath the door,) which is followed by a quiet curse as Kuroba must realize his mistake.

It isn’t a good hiding place at all, which is out of character for someone like Kuroba. (Then again, there are limited areas to hide when in a wheelchair.) But regardless of how bad of a hiding place it is, hiding doesn’t line up with what he should have done in a situation like this. (Then again, it’s difficult to run away when the elevator is broken.)

“...Kuroba-kun?”

No response. Saguru walks over, knocks on the stall door this time.

“Kuroba-kun.”

“Fuck off,” he says. But there's no venom behind it. He just sounds tired.

“I know you dislike me,” Saguru says carefully, “but I was trying to assist you.”

Kuroba flings the door open, eyebrows drawn down and his lip curled up. (Seething.) All the venom is back as he snaps, “Ask first, bastard!”

“Is that the only thing you object to?”

“Object t-- you grabbed me!”

[IMG1]

“I put my hands on your wheelchair handles.” In fact, he was careful not to touch Kuroba at all. He assumed that touching would make the whole experience even more unpleasant than it already was.

“Same. Thing.”

Saguru takes a moment to process that. He supposes, when one must rely on a wheelchair every day, another person attempting to touch or take away the wheelchair wouldn’t be taken well. But Kuroba blatantly used his nonverbal system to ask for assistance. And Saguru hadn’t manhandled Kuroba at all, simply put his hands on the handles. (The handles are meant for hands.) Saguru doesn’t get it. But he often commits careless faux pas without understanding why it’s such an issue. As usual, he’ll just admit that he made a mistake and figure out what he did wrong later. “I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.”

Kuroba is quiet. Ever so slightly, his shoulders slump. (Defeated.) “Yeah,” he mumbles. “You better not.”

There’s no point wasting time now that Saguru’s apologized. "You still need assistance, yes?” He won’t make the same mistake again. “May I help?”

Kuroba deflates even further, not even looking at Sarugu. “...Yeah.”

Saguru expected Kuroba to make some snide comment. Did grabbing his wheelchair really upset Kuroba that much?

“How do you want to handle the stairs?”

Kuroba makes a clearly displeased face. “If you could carry my chair, and...” He hesitates. (Conflicted?) “Let me lean on you. I can walk a little. Just not by myself.”

Saguru nods. “Can you stand at all? Or should I find somewhere for you to sit while I take your wheelchair down?”

“I saw a chair near the stairs.” Kuroba wheels himself out of the stall and Saguru steps aside to give him room.

Saguru almost grabs the handles without warning again, but stops himself. “May I push you?”

“I can make it to the stairs myself.”

As Kuroba said, there’s a chair just under a meter away from the head of the stairs. Kuroba lifts himself to transfer seats, and waits as Saguru takes his chair down. When he comes back up empty-handed, Kuroba hasn’t moved aside from leaning forward with his chin resting on his hands. (Bored.) He doesn’t know why he expected him to move. Kuroba isn’t (and never will be) as mobile as he once was. “Ready?” Saguru asks, offering his hand.

“Yeah, let’s get this over with.” Saguru offers a hand to help him up, but Kuroba clasps Saguru’s arm and hauls himself to his feet without Saguru needing to lift him at all. He stumbles just a moment and Saguru catches him around the waist to hold him steady. Kuroba glares, but doesn’t push him away. He just adjusts his arm so it’s slung around Saguru’s shoulders. “I need to put my other hand on the railing.”

Saguru thinks it would be easier to just pick Kuroba up, (Saguru could do it with ease,) but he suspects that pride plays a factor in this. Walking assisted makes him appear more capable than being carried.

Going down the first section of the stairs is slow but goes smoothly. At the platform halfway, Kuroba halts. “Hang on, let me adjust my hand.” Saguru watches him, but his hand doesn’t shift in any significant way. (It’s likely that he just needs a break and is stalling.)

Kuroba takes a step forward, signalling they should keep going. He immediately slips. Saguru simply grips Kuroba tighter to prevent him from falling and asks, “Are you alright?”

“Yep.” Kuroba says quickly before continuing down the steps. (Annoyance.) “Reminds me of, uh, physical therapy.” The brief pause in his words betrays the calm on his face, but Saguru doesn’t comment. “It’s a miracle I don’t have PTSD about bars and railings.”

When they reach the bottom of the stairs, Saguru stays steady and lets Kuroba hold onto him as he lowers himself back into his chair. “Thanks.” He pulls his feet up onto the footrest.

Something still feels wrong. Kuroba needed assistance getting down the stairs, which is understandable, but his body language is still stiff and tense (uncomfortable, but uncomfortable about what specifically?) even after the obstacle has been surpassed. “Is there anything else you need assistance with?”

Kuroba is quiet. (Unreadable.) Saguru worries that he might get yelled at again, but he sighs and says, “Yeah. If you’ve got time.”

“I have plenty of time.” He was planning to take the train, so he can simply take a later one. “I’m assuming you need help getting home.”

“Yep.” He pops the “p”. “I can technically get home by myself, but it’s probably better if I don’t try that right now.”

“I can help with that.” He waits for a go-ahead from Kuroba to touch his wheelchair again. “Is there anything specific I should do for the genkan?”

“Just make sure the front wheels are up, that’s it.”

Rolling him down the (rather tall, now that he considers it,) ledge into the genkan feels a bit jarring, but Kuroba doesn’t seem bothered by it. Saguru leaves him for a moment to grab his shoes, and fetches Kuroba’s as well.

“Can you-- oh. Thanks.”

Saguru toes out of his indoor shoes and steps into his outdoor shoes. “Forgive me for asking, but why do you change shoes? You don’t walk.” Well. “Usually.”

“Believe me, I tried to pull the disabled card.” Kuroba bends down to pull his shoes off and starts putting his sneakers on. “Changing them is a pain ‘cause I can’t just shove my shoes on anymore, but my feet are on the floor sometimes. I got told off a few too many times, so I just gave up. Not worth it.”

“You,” Saguru deadpans as he puts his shoes back in the cubby. “Giving up.”

“Listen, I know how to pick my battles.” Kuroba finishes tying up his laces, then runs his fingers along the insides of both his sneakers. He then unties the left shoe, re-ties it, and runs his fingers between his shoe and his foot again (Checking how tight they are?) before he sits back up. “Well. A big reason I stopped was also because it got old. It was kinda funny at first because teachers get real conflicted between trying to enforce policy and not wanting to lecture the disabled kid, but I get my fill of making people uncomfortable way too easily now. I’ll just deal with taking the extra time to change shoes.”

“Ah, that makes sense.”

Kuroba reaches up to put his indoor shoes away. “Anything else you gotta do before we roll out?”

“I suppose I should tell my parents I’ll be a bit late.” Saguru pulls out his phone and sends a quick text to his father, as well as Mayu. “Alright, let’s go.”

They reach the school gates and Saguru asks, “Where do you live?” Kuroba starts saying an address, and Saguru interrupts him. “Sorry, I meant you’re going to have to give me instructions on how to get there.”

“Haah, seriously? Some help you are,” Kaito huffs. “Fine, fine. Take a left here.”

Kuroba keeps his hands in his lap as Saguru pushes his chair down the sidewalk. (Quiet, unassuming.) It’s downright unnerving for someone like him. Anyone would act differently after such a life-changing injury, but Saguru assumed he’d been doing better. He’s been boisterous with Aoko again, telling jokes in class, and has even gone back to doing magic tricks, albeit without the stunts and pranks. Recovery isn’t linear, he knows that, but Kuroba seemed to be doing well today, up until...

Ah. Saguru is the problem. (Familiar.)

But if he’s such a problem, that makes Kuroba’s actions even more puzzling. “Why didn't you run?”

“Because I’m crippled.”

“I... no, sorry, poor choice of words. It’s just that normally, your immediate course of action following something embarrassing would be to leave as fast as possible,” Saguru explains. “I thought you had left the building. Even with the elevator broken, I would have thought you would lead me away and taken the stairs with someone else’s assistance. Someone else had to tell me you were in the bathroom.”

“I outwitted the detective? High praise,” Kuroba drawls. His comebacks sound like an automatic dispenser, with absolutely no spark behind them.

“I'm just curious.”

Kuroba hesitates. Saguru sees it as his shoulders tense and he looks down at his lap. “...Honestly?” He laughs. (Dry.) “Because my back is killing me.” Even as he says it, he gives absolutely no physical indication that he’s in pain. “I don’t have the energy to push myself home right now, much less lead you on a wild goose chase.”

[IMG2]

Saguru hadn’t considered pain or exhaustion to be a factor. Is he still healing?

“This one is my house,” he gestures.

Saguru nods, then remembers Kuroba can’t see him. (He feels that the moment has passed to speak.) Saguru begins pushing him towards the door.

“Hey hey, what are you doing?”

“Pushing you up the ramp. It’s more of a strain than flat ground, and you already expressed difficulty with--”

Kuroba makes a quiet noise. (Annoyance.) “Yeah yeah okay whatever, I get it. Go ahead, then.” He digs in his bag while Saguru pushes him up to the door. Kuroba unlocks the door, then wheels himself inside.

“Will you be alright by yourself?” Saguru asks.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine now that I’m home.” Saguru isn’t quite sure if he’s telling the truth, but it’s not as if he knows what Kuroba needs. He keeps silent while Kuroba turns around to look Saguru up and down. (Calculating.) “But you might as well come inside at this point.”

Saguru steps in, closing and locking the door behind him, when his phone goes off. He immediately pulls out his phone to look at the message from Mayu.

“Is that important?” Kuroba asks over his shoulder as he takes off his shoes.

“Just Baaya reminding me to come back before my train stops running for the night.”

“Right. Well, I’ve got cookies in the pantry. I should at least feed you or something in return for helping me, I don’t wanna owe you later.”

Saguru rolls his eyes and steps in line with Kuroba to follow him to the kitchen. “May I ask why you didn’t ask Keiko-san for help?”

“She’d already left.” He grabs the wall to swing himself into a sharp turn and stops directly in front of his open pantry. (The door has been removed.)

“That seems out of character for her, to leave when you need assistance.”

“Don’t think she knew the elevator broke.” Kuroba grabs a box from the pantry and sets it in his lap before he continues. “Besides, usually I can handle stairs by myself.”

“You can?”

“With a crutch. When I don’t feel like shit.”

“Ah.” Saguru can’t help but notice that Kuroba has been rather open with him this afternoon. It’s a little bit confusing. (Concerning?) Though, Kuroba has just gotten tense. (Again.) Saguru probably struck a nerve by prying too much. (Again.)

Kuroba rolls back over to Saguru and puts the box of chocolate chip cookies on the island countertop, after taking two out for himself and putting one in his mouth. “Go ahead,” he says around a mouthful of cookie.

Saguru fishes a single cookie out of the box and bites into it. He’s not thinking too much about how it tastes, as he’s preoccupied with examining Kuroba’s house. He never expected himself to ever be here. (Surreal.) He waits until he’s finished eating to say, “I should probably leave now. Thank you for the cookie.”

“Yeah, no problem.” He’s still tense, maybe even more so than just a few moments earlier.

Saguru waits. (He doesn’t know what else to do.) Kuroba doesn’t respond further. “Is there anything else you need from me before I go?”

“No,” Kuroba finally says. The tension doesn’t leave his body.

Saguru nods. There’s no need to linger, (Kuroba is uncomfortable with his presence,) so he turns to leave.

“Thanks,” he hears from over his shoulder.

“Of course,” comes out of his mouth automatically, though he didn’t actually expect a thank you. Saguru turns around to face him. Kuroba’s body language is back to unreadable, or perhaps just too subtle for Saguru to decipher. “It’s not a problem.”

Kuroba’s wariness and distrust of him is understandable. Even though he’s no longer Kaitou Kid, (no longer has a secret to expose,) those feelings of animosity aren’t going to go away overnight. (Though today was rather civil, even almost pleasant, after the initial conflict.) Saguru didn’t exactly have a plan to rectify their relationship, because they don’t have a relationship outside of Kaitou Kid. There wasn’t another connection that Saguru could fall back on, other than being in the same class, and that’s never been enough for him to form bonds with people in the past.

Just like he knew Kaitou Kid would never return, he knew he would no longer interact with Kuroba Kaito.

But now, maybe he will? (This whole afternoon could be a connection.)

“I’m willing to assist you if you need it again.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

It’s not a refusal. That’s... surprising.

Notes:

SO. this! this is the first chapter i started writing. i lifted a good chunk of this directly from dms with my friend (shoutout to bee) and started fleshing out the writing immediately

and this is ALSO the first chapter i actually *finished* writing. albeit i finished it roughly a month afterwords, since i dont write chronologically

anyway i love my boys theyre gonna be f r e n s

Chapter 44: bonding

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Friday, October 22nd

At school, Kaito catches a teacher to ask when the elevator is gonna get fixed. Apparently, not until the weekend. Of course. Kaito would love to turn around and go back home and not deal with going up the stairs, but it is Friday. He’ll be free to suffer at home all weekend if the stairs are too much for him and he overexerts himself. But he knows it’s still within his limits even if he really doesn’t wanna do it, and he also has Keiko who offers to help get him up the stairs and she promises to stick around to help him get down, which makes the whole process a lot easier.

He’s got his one crutch as usual in preparation for using the stairs-- he considered putting on his braces since he just doesn’t feel steady enough today to walk on anything except perfectly flat ground by himself, but leaving those on all day just to take the stairs twice is overkill. So he keeps the crutch folded under his chair and Keiko gets under his arm to be his crutch as they get up the stairs.

Kaito is about to flag someone down to ask them to carry his chair, but then Hakuba approaches them. “Kuroba-kun, Keiko-san. Would you like me to carry this for you?”

“Oh! That would be helpful, thank you!” Keiko says brightly.

“You break it you buy it,” Kaito says.

“I did carry your wheelchair yesterday,” Hakuba reminds him as he picks it up and follows them. 

Kaito has to shuffle slower than he did yesterday, even if he wants to get it over with as fast as possible when he’s hurting more than yesterday. At this kind of mind-numbing pace, Hakuba and fourteen other classmates pass them by easily.

Kaito expects to just see his chair by itself when they reach the top of the stairs, but instead Hakuba is leaning against the wall with one hand on the back of the chair, like he’s protecting it. That’s, uh, actually something Kaito appreciates. He really doesn’t like leaving his chair unattended anywhere, his anxiety spikes when it’s out of his sight even when it’s just a short distance like getting up and down stairs.

Hakuba leaves with a nod after Kaito and Keiko are in view, before Kaito can even say thank you for keeping an eye on his chair. These last two days with him have been a ride. Who would have known that Hakubastard is actually thoughtful sometimes.

~Monday, October 24th

Saguru is walking down the stairs to leave school when he hears Aoko call out to him, “Hakuba-kun!”

He startles, stopping at the landing and looking up to her at the top of the stairs. “Aoko-san. Do you need anything?”

She bounces down the stairs to meet him. “Aoko just wanted to say thanks for helping Kaito out when Aoko was sick.”

“It’s not a problem, I’m happy to help.”

She smiles at him. “Aoko needs to go. But she’ll see you tomorrow, Hakuba-kun!” She waves at him before rushing all the way down the stairs, then heads towards the elevator where Kuroba must be.

When Saguru reaches the bottom of the stairs, Aoko and Kuroba cross his path once again before going towards the entrance. Kuroba waves at him over his shoulder half heartedly before turning back to Aoko, continuing whatever their conversation was. It feels odd, especially because it’s Kuroba, but it’s not unwelcome.

~Friday, October 29th

Saguru looks up when he hears alarmed shouting in the hallway. As he’s wearing headphones, he only barely hears the words, “Watch out!” before Kuroba suddenly comes into view at top speed, catching his hand on the doorframe to sling himself around the corner and into the classroom in a sharp turn. He didn’t think wheelchairs could make turns that fast. (Though he supposes if anyone could pull off maneuvers like that, it would be Kuroba.)

[IMG1]

[IMG2]

The sound of Aoko screaming down the hall explains the why of Kuroba’s speeding. Saguru takes off his headphones momentarily to observe. Kuroba frantically looks around the room, then locks eyes with Saguru. “I’m not here,” he hisses.

“What?”

Aoko skids to a stop in front of the doorway, but doesn’t actually come in. “Is he in there?!”

“Uh,” a classmate (Saguru isn’t sure who,) says.

“He went that way.” Saguru points. He’s sure that he sounds confused, but it’s the best he can do on short notice.

Aoko immediately takes off, yelling Kaito’s name as she runs.

“What did you do this time?”

“A lot of things, actually.” Kuroba wheels himself around the edge of the classroom to get to his desk, glancing back at the door. (Nervous.) “But the last straw was putting half a dozen fake roaches in her shoes.”

“Ah. Well, good to know you’re still a menace to society.” Then he realizes that while Kuroba is technically at his desk, his chair is angled to face Saguru and he’s making rather intense eye contact. “Do you need something?”

“Not really.”

“Then why are you talking to me?” Saguru asks.

“‘Cause I chased Aoko off and now I’m lonely.”

“So what I’m hearing is that you’re desperate.”

“Not really. You’re actually the most tolerable person in school right now, aside from Aoko and Keiko.”

That can’t be right. He’s never been the most tolerable person out of any group of people. He knows for a fact that most of their classmates are significantly nicer and more enjoyable to be around than him.

But, he should at least be polite. “Well, I suppose you’re also rather pleasant to talk to when you’re not taunting me for having no proof that you’re Kaitou Kid.”

“Which I’m not,” Kuroba points out.

“Not anymore you’re not.”

Kuroba’s eyes go wide, and his jaw goes slack. The silence that follows is, without a doubt, one of the worst that Saguru has ever experienced.

“Oh my God,” Kuroba says, expression unchanged.

Saguru finally manages to open his mouth, a half-cocked apology on his lips, but Kuroba interrupts him with... laughter.

“See!” Kuroba snorts. “This is why you’re actually sorta nice to talk to. You just don’t care about anything.”

He’s not offended, which is a relief, though also confusing. “I assure you, I care about many things.”

“I meant about me.”

“Again, I’m certain I do.”

“Eugh. I mean like... you’re the exact same bastard you always are. You haven’t been treating me differently. Even when you helped me the other day, you weren’t... weird about it, you know?”

Saguru, in fact, does not know. “Why would I be weird about it? You needed help, I assisted. It was the reasonable thing to do.”

“Because everyone is weird about my wheelchair.”

Oh. “Oh.” Kuroba has been... not entirely ostracized, but avoided due to his disability. He’d noticed that their classmates have been giving Kuroba space. (How couldn’t he?) But he thought they were being courteous while Kuroba was grieving. Anyone (even an attention seeker like him) would want space, surely. Though even now that Kuroba is obviously doing better, there’s still a slight but noticeable distance between him and their classmates. There has always been a distance between Kuroba and other classmates, but the extra step makes a significant difference. “I hadn’t thought of that.” But Saguru can relate to being avoided out of awkwardness. (He should have given that more thought.)

“Seriously? Okay, maybe you’re not weird about my chair, but you’re weird about everything else.”

“I can’t exactly do anything about my default state of existence.”

“So you know you’re weird!”

“I’ve heard it enough from plenty of people to accept it, yes.”

Kuroba squints. “People besides m--?” He’s abruptly cut off by Aoko storming back into the classroom. "Oh shit.”

“Good luck,” Saguru says as Kuroba quickly moves away from his desk. He puts his headphones back on so the sound of their arguing will be muffled.

~Monday, November 1st

Saguru sits down at his desk and turns to Kuroba. “May I ask something?” The question on his mind might be insensitive, (he genuinely can’t tell,) so he’s approaching with caution. Kuroba isn’t one to freely give information, but they have been talking more lately. It shouldn’t hurt to ask. “How much feeling did you lose in your legs exactly?”

Kuroba snorts. “Do you have any tact?”

“I’ve been told no.”

“...69 percent.”

Saguru carefully does not react. (That, he knows, would definitely be rude.) “Then, where exactly was the feeling lost? I was under the assumption that the injury is at a certain point and everything below it is nonfunctional. But that doesn’t seem right with the kind mobility you have, especially judging by your gait when not using the wheelchair.” Maybe this is too invasive. “My apologies if this is too personal to answer. I find it’s better to get information from an experienced source before I try to research it myself.”

“Oh.” Kuroba blinks at him. (Surprised, not offended.) “Nah. It’s an incomplete injury, so it’s patchy from the hips down. Can’t feel or move my left foot, but I can bend my right foot up,” he demonstrates. “And I feel... some of that foot. Sorta. Mostly just a few toes but those are hard to move. You know I don’t really have to feel it to move it ‘cause of how everything’s connected? But you get the idea.”

“I hadn’t thought of that, but it makes sense.”

“So, uhh, you said you’re doing research?”

“I haven’t yet, but I will later.”

“Okay, but, why.” Kuroba looks at him quizzically.

“Since we do keep talking to each other, I figure I should at least be somewhat knowledgeable about your condition so I don’t make an ass of myself as I already did once.” It’s only common courtesy, isn’t it? He thinks he would appreciate it if someone did their research on autism if he were to actually get close to them. (But that would also require people in general knowing that he's autistic, so maybe he wouldn't actually appreciate that.)

“Huh. Okay, so maybe you’re actually halfway decent and not just tolerable.”

Saguru really should stop talking to Kuroba before this whole situation backfires on him. But for now, even though it’s odd, it is nice.

~Friday, November 5th

Kaito sits with a basket in his lap as Aoko is rifling through the produce section of the grocery store. “Seriously, how long does it take you to find onions?”

“Aoko only started looking like a second ago, calm down. These ones on top feel funny, she needs to find the ones that are-- ah, found one!”

“The ones on top aren’t even bad. You could just take any of them and run.”

“Aoko could also just take a plastic bag and suffocate you.”

Please. I’m so bored.”

“Suffer.” Aoko thumps him on the head with an onion before putting it in the basket. “And go grab radishes and carrots.”

[IMG3]

Kaito groans dramatically as he follows behind her. “School is less boring than following you around like this.”

“Then help Aoko instead of whining.” Kaito is helping, thank you very much, he just also likes complaining. In fact, he’s got his hands on some carrots when Aoko says, “Oh, actually, school. That reminds Aoko. She noticed that you and Hakuba-kun have been pretty friendly lately.”

“I guess. He’s still kind of a prick, but like. Other than the stick up his ass, he’s kind of a good guy. But only kind of.”

“He doesn’t give you any shit?”

“None. He made a joke about my wheelchair, even. Like, a normal joke about how he can’t accuse me of being Kaitou Kid anymore. It was actually pretty funny.”

Aoko goes quiet. Ah, he probably shouldn’t have mentioned Kaitou Kid.

“But yeah. Underneath all that, he’s sorta fine.”

“Well, Aoko is glad.” She’s still tense. Oof, he definitely shouldn’t have mentioned Kaitou Kid. “You two fighting was stupid.”

“Yeah, kinda was.” Especially in broad daylight, with Kaito goading him on every time Hakuba mentioned Kid. But God, Hakuba pushes his buttons in the worst way. “But things are better now, I guess.”

Aoko smiles at him, less tense. Good. He’ll be sure to keep annoying her until she stops thinking about Kaitou Kid.

~Monday, November 8th

Saguru’s desk shakes as Kuroba thumps into the leg of it with his wheel. “Hey, hey,” he bumps the desk leg again. “Can I peek at your notes?”

Saguru kicks Kuroba’s wheel just enough to stop him from ramming into the desk again. (He has a brief thought that he shouldn’t have done that, as Kuroba did tell him to not touch his wheelchair. But Kuroba is the one who hit him first and he doesn’t react to the kick anyway.) “What for?” He certainly isn’t one to need help with school.

“‘Cause I zoned out for half of history class, Aoko’s notes are mostly doodles, and Keiko writes her notes in Tolkien Elvish.”

“She writes them in what?

“That’s not an answer. Yes or no?”

“I... Sure.” Saguru flips through his binder to the section for history. “Maybe don’t zone out next time.”

Kaito sticks his tongue out at Saguru as he takes the book. He only glances at it for a moment before shouting “Oh come on!”

“Is something wrong?”

“Your handwriting is just as upright and pretentious as you are! Look at all this fancy stuff. Color coordinated, put into neat little sections...” Kuroba flips through the pages. “I mean I assumed you would be organized, but this is over the top. OCD much?”

“I was tested for OCD, actually. I don’t have it.” Nothing beyond the minor tendencies that present due to his autism. “But I believe this is a case of the pot calling the kettle black.”

Kuroba squints (confused) and hands the binder back. “Anyway, thanks.”

“You’re done already?”

“Just needed to refresh some things.”

Saguru nods. That’s more like the Kuroba he knows in an academic sense. It’s nice (he thinks) to see him confident again, like he was before the accident. “I’m glad you’re doing better,” he blurts out. “I know we weren’t and aren’t friends,” he starts cautiously. “But it’s good to see you recovering. Mentally, of course.”

“Oh. Uh, thanks. It’s just gotten easier to deal with, I guess.” Kuroba shrugs. “I’m pretty lucky, you know? It could be a lot worse.”

“It really is fortunate you’re still alive after a fall like that.”

“I just meant the fact that recently I stopped needing to use a catheter, but the dying thing is probably more important, yeah.”

Saguru is not going to dwell on that information at all and will promptly forget it.

“Also like, at the rate we’re going, ‘we aren’t friends’ isn’t gonna be true much longer.”

What? “What?”

“Yeah, that was my reaction too when I realized it!” Kaito leans forward, putting his elbows on Saguru’s desk and getting close (very close,) to him. “Can’t believe I’m becoming friends with the one and only Hakubastard.”

Oh. (New.) Okay. (That’s new.) What. “Is that what this is?”

“Probably. I don’t have experience making friends with former enemies.”

“I can’t say I do either.” Saguru hums. (Thinking.) “Though, I would classify you as more of a nuisance than an enemy.”

“Wh-- hey! I’m a worthy enemy!”

Saguru smirks. “You’re a worthy pain in the ass.”

“Oh my God. Oh my God, I can’t believe this. I’m insulted. I’ve never been more offended in my entire life.”

“What are we offended about?” Aoko asks as she approaches from behind.

“He called me a nuisance!” Kuroba whines.

“Kaito is a nuisance,” Aoko deadpans. “And class is about to start, scoot back to your desk.” Aoko taps Kuroba’s wheel with her foot twice before moving past him.

They both return to their desks, and Saguru is left to think about what Kuroba said.

Friends. (Actual friends?) An alarming concept, with his previous track record of friendship. But Kuroba and Aoko both are fairly extreme outliers in many ways socially. Maybe it means they really aren’t put off by him, as people usually are when they get to know him better.

Saguru will have to think more on this later.

Notes:

things are a lot more chill when saguru isnt hell bent on getting proof about kaitou kid tbh. hes just confused

Chapter 45: glitter

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Wednesday, November 10th

Normally, Kaito is left alone in the classroom for gym. He’s been using that time so far to get homework and other things done, but he’s got another plan for today and he’s prepped and ready to go. Though he almost wiped out on the sidewalk because he made the dumbass mistake of putting his bag on the back of his chair even though it’s considerably heavier than it usually is--

Point is, he’s got a lot of materials, and only one class period to get this done. Well. No, he can come back to it tomorrow if he runs out of time. But there’s also the possibility of someone noticing if he leaves this here overnight, so he really wants to do everything in one go.

He’s been practicing pull-ups at home. It’s awkward, mostly because he can’t lift his legs to get them out of the way so they drag on the floor, but it gets the job done. He’s even been able to work up to one-handed pull-ups again! Though being unable to move his legs for balance throws him off a lot more than he thought it would. So the leg thing isn’t exactly ideal, since he’s more unsteady than he would like, but it’s another huge step in getting reacquainted with his body. And comfortable enough with his capabilities and balance to get the job done today, so long as he’s quick.

Actually getting up to the ceiling isn’t something he’s confident in doing just with his arms yet, he’ll have to work up to being able to scale things without his legs. If he can do that. He can probably do that, who cares what anyone else thinks. For now, he can pick up his crutch, get to the closet with all the cleaning supplies, and drag the ladder into the classroom. It’s hard to get up it, but he can pull himself up, sit on top of the ladder, and have access to the ceiling while still sitting. He’ll have to drag it around and pull himself up to the top a few more times to reach the whole ceiling, but his hands are quick and he’s got enough time.

[IMG1]

As usual, it’s live and die by the poker face. So when the class comes back, he’s sitting at his desk and smiling at Aoko like everything is normal when she asks, “What’d you get up to?”

“Dicked around on my phone.”

Aoko gives him the Nakamori patented look of Judgment. “What happened to getting homework done?”

“Eh,” he shrugs. “Wasn’t feeling it this time.”

Aoko rolls her eyes and sits down at her desk. He goes back to looking at his phone absently. Closes some tabs and pockets it when the teacher comes in.

He gives himself somewhere around ten minutes to let the class really settle in with the lesson, and then he tugs the string he has hidden in his lap. A small snap from the string is followed by a much louder snap overhead, and there’s barely enough time for a few students to glance and try to find the source of the noise before pink and purple glitter bursts from the ceiling over everyone-- everyone except for Kaito’s little space around his desk. Sure, he’s got a little collateral damage, but he’s mostly untouched.

It’s immediate chaos, of course. Everyone is yelling, but Aoko is the first person to cut through the noise and shriek “KAITO!” at the top of her lungs.

From there on, it’s pretty standard fare for post-prank madness, aside from the fact that he can't get away from her fast enough to dodge the mop, but the teacher breaks them up and sends Kaito out of the room pretty quick.

He gets detention for two weeks because of all the damage the glitter did, not to mention the fact that they couldn’t continue class when the room was in a state like that. He’s definitely gonna be picking glitter off his wheelchair for those weeks then some, but Kaito is thriving.

If he can still pull off stuff like this, he’s just opened a whole new door of possibilities.

Notes:

kaitos gettin back to normal yall :D (this is a threat)

Chapter 46: handstand

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Tuesday, November 9th

It’s a pretty good day. Kaito’s been using his crutches since he woke up without even getting winded. The dull ache in his back and legs is easily ignored, and he doesn’t take it as an invitation to wreck himself by trying to use only crutches at school. He’s not gonna make the mistake of trying to go a whole day without his wheelchair again.

He’s just gonna enjoy this while it lasts, and not act too much on all his extra energy while he’s at school. And once he’s home, he can put all this energy to good use: attempting a handstand.

Okay, so, he has to figure out how to tackle this. Kaito can’t lift his legs against gravity when he’s standing. No way he can keep them up in any capacity while doing a handstand. On a pure strength level regarding his arms, he knows he can still do it. The problem is that his legs are essentially dead weight and screw up his balance. And there also isn’t a good way for him to actually do a handstand, when he can’t kick off the ground with his legs.

This is gonna take some finagling.

Attempt number one: put on braces. Get out the crash pad. Kneel on it (ow ow he can still feel that part of that knee, he really wishes that it wasn’t so sensitive ow) and attempt to roll forward and hope the momentum can get him off the ground. Incredibly stupid. He gets nowhere with it. He would need way more strength in his legs to manage that.

Attempt number two: get on the couch. Lean over the arm of the couch so hands are touching the floor, then try to get his body upright. He still can’t get his legs up at all, even when he tries to rock his whole body forward.

Attempt number three: arm of the couch again. This time, laying on his back and scooting himself over the arm until his hands are on the ground in a weird bridge position. He can get his legs up this time, and of course immediately tips and falls, not only smashing both his knees on the crash pad but also jamming the only two toes that still have feeling. The crash pad makes it better but oh God that still hurts.

Kaito kinda just. Stays on the floor for a hot minute and tries to not regret all his life choices that led him to this exact moment. He’s gonna take his painkillers and call it quits for today.

~Saturday, November 13th

Attempt number... something. Kaito’s already forgotten how many times he’s worked on this on and off for the past few days.

His range of motion with his legs is weird. He can move his right foot up but not down, bend his left knee, and has just enough mobility in his left thigh (and more in his right) to lift his legs up enough to walk with crutches, even up stairs-- but not enough to keep his balance for something like this, and he definitely doesn’t have enough strength to keep his legs in place. But maybe if he hooks his left leg over his right one, he can work his way up to being able to keep his knee bent in place to keep his other leg from flopping around too much.

So he goes back to the couch in his weird bridge position, his legs tangled up, hands on the floor, and ready to try and haul himself up. He feels the strain down to his thighs as he crunches his torso, and for a second he thinks it’ll-- ah, he’s on the floor again.

Kaito sighs. He didn’t exactly think this would be feasible, especially since he’s got a nagging thought that this is about the level of feeling he’s gonna be stuck with for the rest of his life. Since that first month where he got back the feeling and motion in his thighs, nothing else has really happened for him in that department aside from getting better at using crutches to walk with what he’s already got. He knows that there are stories about people with spinal cord injuries who get back feeling in their legs well enough to walk without their aids after like a decade or something, but with where he’s at now? That kind of thing feels like it would be more trouble than it’s worth. Honestly, it’s not something he actually wants to hope for. More range of motion or feeling would be nice yeah, and he’ll keep working for that, but unless his chronic pain decides to take a vacation? He prefers to be off his feet.

Aside from walking though, he wants to be able to do everything he possibly can. Especially with his hands. He can do pull-ups one-handed again without any strain, so that’s promising. He’s successfully gotten his arms and core back to how they used to be-- maybe even better than they used to be, considering all the work he has to put in with pushing himself around all the time.

He might have to bag the handstands, though. Which is super upsetting. He really wanted to get that back, but... well. He can’t have everything, he supposes. But before he throws in the towel completely, he can at least have some fun with it.

He uses his hands to position his legs, hooking one foot over the other and making sure they won’t slide. Then, he bends backwards over the arm of the chair, touching down to the floor with his hands but with his legs still on the couch, and waits a moment so he can steady himself.

This is a ploy of course, but he’s already struggling with this position even though he hasn’t tipped himself over completely to get his legs curled up tight against his body. The moment he does, he’ll just fall, and he doesn’t want to crash again. It’s inevitable, when he still can’t feel... what was the percentage he pulled out of his ass when he was talking to Hakuba? Oh right, 69. Nice. Anyway, he can’t feel 69 percent of his legs or whatever.

“Aoko!” Kaito calls out. He sees her round the corner in his upside-down vision. “I’m doing endurance stuff and I keep tipping. Can you keep me steady?”

“Are you... trying to do a handstand?”

“Ish.”

Aoko just stares at him. He rolls his eyes back at her.

“Oh come on I know I can’t really do handstands, but let me have this. Like I said, it’s endurance. I just need a little help keeping my legs steady.”

She sighs. “Yeah, sure.” She lines herself up right in front of him, putting her hands lightly on his shins. Keeping him upright but not actually grabbing him hard enough to take any of the weight.

“Thanks,” he shifts, scooting one hand directly under his head. “Okay, moving to one arm.”

Aoko hums disapprovingly. “Are you good to do that?”

“This is way less effort than pull-ups or weights! And it’s why I want you here. I can balance mostly fine with both hands.”

“You’re not just hanging free, you’re in a bad position for your back and legs. Endurance like this might not be a good idea.”

“Uuugh. It doesn’t hurt, I promise. I’m just trying to get my balance and stuff back.”

“Hmm...” He can’t see her face, but she’s definitely squinting. “Alright, fine.”

Kaito lifts his hand up carefully, hovering it just above the ground in case he can’t hold himself with one just the one arm. He’s shaking just a little bit, but it’s just because he’s wobbly and not actually from exertion. So that’s a win. He moves his arm father away from the ground to show Aoko. “Ha!”

“Hey, nice!” she cheers. “How long are you trying to hold it for?”

He uses his free hand to flip Aoko’s skirt up. “Ooh, a flower pattern!”

[IMG1]

Aoko shrieks and drops him.

Kaito hits the ground laughing. “Oh my God, ow, totally worth it.”

“Ba! Kai! To!” She kicks him in the ribs with each syllable-- not hard, or at least not hard to Kaito and Aoko.

“Ow, ow! Don’t hit a man when he’s down!”

She stomps her foot down and crosses her arms.

He props himself up on his elbows and a hot pain shoots up his spine, freezing him in place. Shit. Shitshitshitshit ow. Aoko notices him suddenly go quiet, of course, and worriedly asks, “Are you okay? Oooh no, Aoko shouldn’t have dropped you!”

“No, not your fault.” He winces. “I twisted wrong, it’s already going down.”

“Still,” she leans down. “Do you wanna get on the couch or your chair?”

“Couch is fine.” He lifts his arms to latch onto Aoko’s shoulders as she hooks her arms underneath, lifting him up with the ease that comes with having done this what feels like a hundred times before and lets him put most of his weight on her as they shuffle to the couch. He could scoot himself over and pull himself up on his own, sure, but it’s always better to get help for this kind of thing when he’s already hurting. He has to save whatever energy he’s got. “M’gonna stretch myself out,” he says as Aoko lowers him to the couch.

“I’ll pull your chair closer.”

“Thanks.” He’s probably not gonna be on his feet again today after attempted handstands and then twisting wrong, though he wasn’t lying, the pain is already going down. He’s also probably not getting off the couch anytime soon, but better to have his chair close by anyway. He scoots himself to the arm of the couch again, wincing when he leans back against it. “Hey,” he calls once Aoko is back in view. “Come sit on my feet so I don’t flip over.”

“Aoko will hold your legs,” she says, sitting down and hooking her arm around his legs to keep him steady.

Kaito bends himself backwards over the arm of the couch again, this time just letting himself hang so his spine gets pulled out by gravity. He stays there for a minute or two, and is about to ask Aoko to help him back up when she says, “Don’t stay there too long, all the blood will rush to your fat head.”

Kaito raises his arms. “Pull me back up then, I’m done anyway.”

Aoko scoffs, a noise he knows means she’s rolling her eyes. But she keeps one arm around his legs and catches his hand with her other hand to let Kaito pull himself back up.

One he’s up though, she keeps her hand on his and tugs him forward, and before he knows it he’s caught in a hug.

“Aoko is glad that Kaito is still Kaito.”

“Of course I’m still me!” He hugs her back. “Did you think I got taken by a bodysnatcher or something?”

Aoko pulls back to give him an unimpressed look. “Bakaito.” She flicks his forehead. “Aoko just means it’s nice to see you happy again.”

“I’ve been happy for a while,” he snorts. But he knows what she means. It’s nice to be happy again. It’s nice for things to feel... normal.

Well, normal except for one thing.

Kaito should tell her.

She has to have noticed that the heists stopped after he broke his back. Right? She’s super smart. And she’s accused him of being Kaitou Kid before.

He should tell her.

He doesn’t know how to start, so he doesn’t.

Notes:

i dont have very good end notes today it just took me an absurdly long time to proofread for no good reason and i promised myself ice cream after i finished so im gonna go eat ice cream

Chapter 47: normal

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Saturday, November 13th

Kaito wakes up to the alarm blaring on his phone. He fumbles to find it on his bed, searching blindly until he smacks it and finally turns it off. Then, he finally opens his eyes. God, he doesn’t wanna be awake. He runs his hands over his face and groans quietly. He’s not in that much pain right now, or at least it’s not too bad-- but it’s enough that he knows it’s gonna disrupt his thoughts all day.

Aoko’s not here, so he’s free to be sluggish in peace without her fussing over him. It’s usually appreciated, since she doesn’t baby him or underestimate him or anything, but he just doesn’t feel like dealing with people. He kinda just wants to tinker at his desk with some new magic tricks and contraptions and generally be lazy today.

No way he’s getting on his feet at all today, so he’d better get undressed to shower while he’s still laying down.

Kaito knows he’s never going to walk unassisted again. He knows that even on a really good day, he’s never going to be able to use his crutches for more than an hour or so before he needs to go back to using his wheelchair. He knows that stairs are always going to be a hurdle that he can only conquer because his arms are strong enough to support the weight of his entire body on the railing. He knows he’s going to have days where he’s too exhausted or in too much pain to wheel himself around and will need to ask someone to push him.

It’s not such an awful thought anymore.

It still hurts sometimes. But it feels normal.

He’s started having dreams where he’s in his wheelchair. Not nightmares, just. Normal dreams. Doing normal stuff. But he uses his wheelchair in his dreams sometimes, and it feels normal.

It hasn’t even been four months. It feels like it’s been a lot longer.

He does his usual exercises and gets himself to the shower chair without any trouble, at least. But picking up the shampoo bottle reveals it to be empty. He’s pretty sure he left some in it last time he showered. Did Aoko seriously use up the last of it and leave the empty bottle in the shower? He’s gonna kill her. For now, he fills it with water to get the last dregs of soap out of the bottom and just uses that. He doesn’t have the energy to get out and see if there’s another bottle of it under the sink and then have to get back in the shower. He’ll check when he gets out, and make a note on his phone to get more shampoo if there isn’t.

When Kaito is drying off, he has... a thought.

He’s been having this thought for a while, the longer he puts off telling Aoko about the fact that he’s-- that he was Kaitou Kid. It just creeps up on him at random times, more and more frequently. It’s a really stupid thought-- impossible, even. But he puts it off for the moment. He’s gotta haul himself back into the chair and get clothes and get back in bed to get dressed. He doesn’t even bother with real pants, that’s too much energy to wiggle into. He just grabs a knee-length skirt that easily slides up his legs without resistance.

While he’s laying in bed and waiting for his body to settle after moving around so much to get changed, that persistent little thought worms its way back into his brain. It’s so persistent, in fact, that he grabs his phone from where he left it next to his pillow, and opens up his contact list.

He scrolls down the list and stops. He taps a contact, bringing up the phone number. He stares. He stares a little while longer, finger hovering over a number he hasn’t called since before the accident.

No, he won’t call. It’s not like it’ll do any good.

Well.

He won’t call before breakfast, at least. He pockets his phone and sits up to move himself back into his chair.

~

Later that morning, he checks his phone again. The contact he pulled up earlier is still open.

No one really wants a call in the morning, right? Everyone’s busy with work stuff in the morning. Kaito certainly never wants to get a call before noon, it’s such a pain.

He closes his contact list and goes back to disassembling his card gun.

~

Afternoon. He picks up his phone, turns the screen on, and turns it off before he can even think about opening his contacts. It won’t work. He knows it won’t, and he shouldn’t get his hopes up. He’s not even gonna try.

~

Kaito is about to go to bed, just messing around on his phone for a few minutes before he sleeps.

Just before he turns off his phone, he pulls up his contacts again.

It’s kinda late. No one would appreciate a call right now, Kaito thinks. Then again, it’s not like Kaito wants to meet up, he just. Wants to talk for a few minutes. Just to see if this stupid hairbrained idea is even like... possible. He’ll only be getting confirmation that it’s not possible, because he knows it won’t be.

[IMG1]

If he knows it won’t be, then there’s no point in calling though, is there? Kaito is halfway to turning his phone off, but he clicks the call button at the last minute.

The phone doesn’t ring for very long. “Hello?”

Kaito holds his breath. He doesn’t want to get his hopes up and have this all fall apart, but...

“Hello? Who’s calling?”

Better to try and fail, even if it hurts. Failure means he can move on. Kaito doesn’t want to wait in limbo anymore.

“Hey, Agasa-hakase. It’s Kaito.”

Notes:

i did say it was a threat

only 10 more chapters till the end holy shit i cant believe we're here already.

Chapter 48: lunch

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Friday, November 19th

Aoko spots Hakuba stepping out the door just as she scoots her chair up to Keiko’s desk. “Ah, wait, Hakuba-kun!” She waves at him to get his attention when he turns around. “Do you wanna sit with us for lunch?”

Hakuba blinks at her, then glances between Keiko and Kaito before looking back at her. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah! Come over here!”

“She’s already decided you’re eating with us.” Kaito rolls his eyes and waves his hand as well, beckoning Saguru closer. “I’d give up and just sit down if I were you.”

Hakuba seems confused, which is an expression she doesn’t think she’s seen on him before. His eyebrows are pinched together, and he doesn’t really look at them even after he sits down with them and pulls out his lunch.

“Should I feel special for this invitation?” he asks, gaze still in front of him.

“Sure I guess,” Kaito mumbles. “Eating lunch with us is part of your ‘not as much of a jerk as you could have been’ award.”

Hakuba hums. “I suppose that’s the best I can hope for.”

“I would assume you got replaced by some kind of robot if you got better than that.”

“Your level of faith in me is unappreciated, but unfortunately expected.”

It’s nice to see them talking to each other and actually getting along, though it is odd to see Hakuba talking more quietly instead of boasting like he does when he talks about his work or Kaitou Kid. Then again, she supposes that she’s never paid attention when Hakuba isn’t being loud and obviously garnering attention with those subjects.

Now that she’s thinking about it, he really does just blend into the background all those other times, huh. Right now he sits stiffly, staring at his lunch and only finally looks up at them when Aoko speaks. “It’s not anything special really, we just wanted you to sit with us!”

We,” Kaito drawls.

“Yes, we!” Aoko baps him on the head. Keiko also gives him a disappointed look. “Don’t be rude.”

“Well, I appreciate it,” Saguru says. “I suppose it’s nice to eat with someone for a change.”

“Eh?” Keiko leans in. “Do you not sit with anyone else at lunch?”

“But you always leave at lunch time, Aoko thought you were meeting someone from another class.”

“No, I leave class so I can sit somewhere without so much noise.”

“...That’s kinda sad, dude.”

Aoko smacks Kaito again.

Hakuba shrugs. “I just prefer silence when I can get it.”

“Well if you want, you can just sit with us from now on,” Aoko offers.

“Yeah!” Keiko perks up.

“I wouldn’t want to impose.”

“Again, she’s already decided, I’d just go along with it before she raises hell to make it happen anyway,” Kaito scoffs.

Keiko shrugs helplessly. “Aoko is just like this.”

~Wednesday, November 24th

Kaito catches his hand on the door to swing himself into his classroom, and promptly falls backwards. He throws a hand back and catches himself from cracking his head on the floor, barely. And oh, ow, that’s probably gonna bruise his hand. Good thing he’s ambidextrous.

He hears a classmate shout, “Oh shit--!”

“Are you alright?” someone else exclaims.

“I have Fucked Up,” Kaito says calmly. “Hang on--”

“Behind you,” Aoko warns him. She grabs the back of his chair and yoinks him upright. “Now stop doing that in school! The floors are gonna get skid marks!”

“Won’t be my problem, I don’t have to mop the-- OW hey!!”

Aoko holds a mop over her head, ready to hit him again. “Other people have to clean the floor, Bakaito! Be more considerate!”

“Cut it out, you’re gonna give me a concussion!”

“You deserve it!”

It is, unfortunately, hard to run away from Aoko when they’re in the classroom. He has to trip her up or hide to lose her in such a small space. He spots Keiko passing by the doorway and only barely gets out, “Kei--” before she clues in that Shenanigans are going on, and speeds to her own class. “Coward!”

Aoko still has the mop and Kaito only barely misses the blow. He needs another cover. “Hakuba! Save me!”

“Eh?”

Aoko stops short of her next strike, as it was about to collide with Hakuba’s face, who Kaito is now hiding behind.

Please don’t get me involved in this,” Hakuba says tiredly. “I don’t want to be collateral damage.”

“Then please move, Hakuba-kun,” Aoko says coldly.

“This is my desk,” he shoots back.

“You’re so cruel, Aoko! Hitting a disabled guy!”

“Oh don’t you dare try to pull that card, you little--”

“You two started this, but I will end it,” Hakuba warns.

“Honestly, I would love to see what you can do,” Kaito says.

Hakuba glances between the two of them, stands up from his desk, and grabs Aoko’s mop. Aoko, however, doesn’t let go. When he tries to yank it away, she just lifts a good foot off the ground with it. They both freeze.

“Um,” Hakuba says.

“Oh damn.”

[IMG1]

“Wh-- put Aoko down!” She shrieks, kicking her legs out.

Hakuba does put her down, veeery gently. Aoko smacks him on the side of the head with the mop as soon as her feet touch the floor. Hakuba hisses and rubs his head. “Was that really necessary?”

“You took Kaito’s side!” she fumes.

“I was trying to de-escalate, Aoko-san.”

Kaito laughs. “He just lifted you like you weighed noth-- OW Jesus cHRIST Aoko!”

Language, Kuroba-kun!” their homeroom teacher snaps as she steps into the room. “Nakamori-kun, put the mop away. Everyone get to your desks.”

“Yes, Sensei!” Aoko says sweetly. Little shit, turning all cute as soon as there’s an authority figure in the room. But oh well, it means she won’t smack him again so long as he doesn’t disrupt anything.

~Wednesday, December 1st

Saguru sits down outside the school building, far away from the people going from the front door to the main gates. He pulls out his copy of Sherlock Holmes and flips to the page number he left off at, and tunes out the rest of the students. He’s interrupted sooner than he expected, but it’s not by someone he has to shoo away. It’s Aoko, who sits down next to him (close,) and leans in. (Close.)

[IMG2]

“Aoko saw you staring at Sakura-chan today,” Aoko says, grinning. (Cheeky.) “Do you like her?”

“No more than I like anyone else in this class.” Saguru flips the page. “Besides, she has a boyfriend. Two, technically, as she’s cheating on him.”

Aoko’s eyes go wide. (Surprised.) “She’s what? No way.”

“She is, I’m almost certain. I was looking for more evidence of my suspicion.”

“So... so are you gonna tell her boyfriend?”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because he should know his girlfriend is cheating on him? That’s horrible!”

Saguru realizes now that he shouldn’t have said anything. “It was just an observation. I try not to get involved with my classmates’ affairs. It only causes trouble.”

“But you’re a detective, isn’t this the kind of stuff you should... solve?” She frowns. (Upset.)

Saguru makes a quick note of the page number and closes his book. “Not in a place I have to come back to every day. I don’t want to attract attention.”

Aoko frowns. (Unimpressed.) “You know you’re super popular, right? Did you somehow miss that?”

“Popularity doesn’t mean much. The attention I gain is in relation to detective work or gossip among those who think I’m mysterious and exotic.” He resists rolling his eyes. “Aside from gossip and thinly veiled racism, I can go largely unnoticed because I don’t talk to anyone. You, Kuroba-kun, and I suppose Keiko-san as well, are the only people I interact with.” Keiko doesn’t speak to him unprompted, but the fact that she does talk to him with Aoko and Kuroba as a buffer qualifies (barely) as willing interaction.

“Ah-- wait, really?”

“Yes. In addition, if I went around exposing everyone’s secrets, I would very quickly become a target of malintent.”

“You’d be exposing bad stuff, though.”

“And people generally dislike when their ‘bad stuff’ is exposed. I can’t arrest a schoolmate for cheating on a partner, so I would rather not make anyone angry at me.”

Aoko pouts. (Cute.) She’s quiet for a while, just sitting next to him in silence. Saguru is about to open his book again when she yells “Kaito!” loud enough that he has to restrain himself from the urge to whack her upside the head with his book. She waves at Kuroba coming out of the school building. “What took you so long?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, Ahouko.” He stops just short of running Aoko’s toes over. (She doesn’t flinch.) “What are you two losers talking about?”

“The shallowness of popularity,” Saguru answers.

“Oh, boring stuff. Why are you still here? Don’t you have a train to catch?”

“Not this time. Baaya was already out, so she offered to pick me up. She should only be a few minutes more.”

“No specific time?” Kaito smirks. “The incredible human clock is broken.”

“I can hardly account for traffic.”

“We can wait with you until she gets here!” Aoko says. In that case, he’ll put away his book. “What are you reading, by the way? Your book looks fancy.”

He hesitates, but finishes putting the book in his bag. “The complete collection of Sherlock Holmes.”

“Do you just carry that around with you everywhere? Nerd,” Kaito says. (Flat tone. Not actually mocking. The same way he calls Aoko “Ahouko” or “bitch.”)

“I do when I’m in the middle of reading it.” It’s been a while since his last re-read. “It’s good to pass the time between classes and to read on the train. Or when waiting for Baaya to pick me up, as I am now.”

And on cue, he sees Mayu’s car pull up to the gates. He gathers his bag and stands up. “That’s her. I should go.”

“Oh, okay,” Aoko says, her shoulders slumping. (Disappointed.) She quickly perks up again to wave at him. “See you tomorrow, Hakuba-kun!”

“See ya, nerd.”

Saguru waves back at both of them before he heads to the car.

Notes:

betcha thought u were getting agasa content >:) get shreked

also saguru stronk (and aoko tiny. i draw her at 152cm/5'0)

Chapter 49: brace yourself

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Sunday, November 14th

Agasa only comes to Kaito’s house after a rather long phone call where Kaito explained what happened to him, and with Agasa having expressed some heavy doubt about the viability of resuming activities as Kaitou Kid-- even with technologically advanced walking aids.

But Kaito is persistent. And Agasa is convinced-- barely-- by Kaito saying that even if he isn’t going to be Kid again, mechanical leg braces would still be a massive help just in everyday life, if they work. He neglects to mention that he doesn’t use normal braces and crutches much outside of the house for chronic pain reasons. Agasa doesn’t need any more doubts.

Agasa hasn’t ever been to Kaito’s house before. While they’ve been in contact over the phone, they’ve only met in person a few times at the Blue Parrot to test some pretty complex contraptions that Agasa wanted to run tests with before he handed them over. Kaito doesn’t want to impose on Jii for that again, plus... he’s sure Jii would just worry about Kaito doing this. So he makes sure to schedule a day where Aoko isn’t planning on being over, and they stay in Kid’s workshop just in case she makes a surprise appearance. He can come up with an excuse for Agasa to be here, sure, but it would still be a bit of a reach to have some older man Aoko has never even heard about before at his house. Better to avoid suspicion in the first place.

“First and foremost I need your measurements,” Agasa says, rummaging through his duffel bag that he brought along. He already said this over the phone, which is why Kaito is wearing compression shorts so Agasa can get the most accurate measurements without any thick material in the way. “Then, I need to record how you walk-- with and without your braces, preferably.”

Well he didn’t mention that part over the phone. “Oh.”

Agasa pulls out a tape measure and glances at Kaito with concern. “Can you not walk right now?”

“I can. It’s just a pain in the ass to get my braces all laced up.”

“I can help you put your braces on if you need it, but I need to measure you before those are on.”

“‘Kay. Just hand me my crutches.” Agasa does so while Kaito puts the brakes on his wheelchair. It takes him a moment to get himself up, especially since he’s unsteady without his braces, but it’s alright.

It’s always a little bit odd to see someone touching his legs and being unable to feel it, but he watches anyway. He doesn’t hate looking at his legs anymore-- even though they’re visibly less muscular than they used to be-- which is a nice change of pace. Just feels like a normal feature of his body at this point.

When that’s done, Kaito sits back down and Agasa helps him get his braces in place. Kaito has to take a moment to psyche himself up to stand again while Agasa sets up his recording equipment.

“If it’s really that uncomfortable for you to walk right now, we can do this a different day,” Agasa offers.

“No. I just... don’t like how I look while walking.” Having a recording of that is... eugh. He’s glad he won’t have to look at it himself, at least. Aoko says it’s not that bad, but it feels awkward and he’s sure it looks worse. He’ll get used to it eventually.

“How you look doesn’t matter so long as you’re mobile, in my opinion.”

“How I look means everything if I’m gonna try to be Kaitou Kid again.”

“Our goal isn’t Kaitou Kid levels of mobility right now.” Agasa gives him a disapproving look. “It’s just to see if we can give you braces that work on a basic level. For mundane use. And even that might not work, this may still only be possible working in tandem with crutches...”

“Yeah yeah don’t worry, I’m not getting my hopes up.” He really isn’t. But he has to be prepared for every possibility, no matter how unlikely.

“I’m just making sure you know.”

~Thursday, November 18th

Kaito listens carefully to Agasa’s explanation of how to put the braces on and where each part has to go as he starts putting it on Kaito. He lifts his arms for Agasa to hook the belt around his waist, watching as Agasa locks more metal bands into place around different points on his legs. “This is only the first test to make sure these will actually keep your body upright. But in the future, I’m hoping to make a way for you to easily lock and unlock the braces into specific positions.” When he gets down to Kaito’s shins, he asks, “Is this too tight?”

“I mean. No idea. Gonna have to get used to gauging what’s too tight for these bad boys. I figured it out with shoes, I can figure it out with these too.”

Agasa clamps the last band around his ankle. “Alright then, try standing. I’ll be right behind you.”

Kaito takes a deep breath, adjusts his hands on his crutches, and pushes himself up.

He’s almost not sure what happens. His body moves upright so much faster than it should have, the momentum knocking one crutch out of his hand entirely and leaving the other loosely hanging on his forearm. “What--” oh, ow, that hurts a bit more than normal, probably because he’s not taking any weight away from his legs with his hands.

Wait.

Wait, he’s not taking any weight away with his hands. Both his hands are free. He’s not leaning on anything. He’s-- he hasn’t stood up without his hands since the accident. He’s standing.

Kaito realizes that Agasa has been talking to him, but he has no idea what. “Huh?”

“I was just saying that it seems like the braces have no problem keeping you upright! You’re feeling steady?” Kaito nods, and Agasa continues. “Then let’s see if you can take a few steps. I took into account what parts of your legs still have mobility and how you move with crutches, so just try and move in whatever way feels comfortable, and we’ll work from there.”

“Right. Yeah, that’s. Sure.” Kaito feels like he’s replying on automatic. His hands are shaking. He feels like he’s gonna fall when he can’t lean on anything, but he’s got a grip on his crutch again and is ready to slam it into the ground to catch himself. Kaito twists his hip forward and lifts his foot up as far as it will go-- toes still just touching the floor-- and the brace reacts to his movement. It bends his knee to lift his right foot completely off the floor. He can’t feel that knee. He shouldn’t be able to bend it like this, this doesn’t line up with his current mobility.

His right foot touches back on the ground. He took a step forward.

It kinda hurts. Standing always hurts, he can’t stop that. It feels like his legs should be shaking, but the braces keep them in place. He moves to take another cautious step forward-- awkward, or at least it feels like it because it’s so different, but the braces respond and mechanically bend his knee and lift his foot and set it back on the ground. Heel then toe. Slow, almost smooth movements.

Kaito can’t bring himself to take another step-- not because it hurts, but because it doesn’t feel real. This can’t be real, it’s too good. Even with the pain, it’s too good to be real. It’s so much already. The remaining crutch gets dropped as he clasps his hands over his mouth-- both his hands, both his hands are free, he’s standing without crutches, he took two whole steps and he’s still standing.

“I--” his voice catches in his throat, and he doesn’t actually realize he’s crying until he’s looking down at his feet-- his feet that he’s standing with-- and he sees tears fall and hit his feet.

“Kaito-kun?”

“I’m standing,” is all he can say. “I’m--” his throat closes up. “Holy shit,” he says, still choking on his words. He’s standing he walked and it’s not in any way unassisted, the braces are a massive aid, but his hands are free and the movements are smooth. With enough work, enough practice, he might be able to-- even if it’s far in the future, it could be possible to...

[IMG1]

Maybe Kaitou Kid isn’t retired for good.

The thought gives him the push he needs to try for another step, but he leans too far into it and yelps as he pitches forward. “Oop--!” Agasa catches him immediately. “Don’t worry, I got you. Let’s sit you back down for a minute.” Kaito clings to Agasa as he maneuvers him back into the wheelchair, not trusting the braces enough just yet to walk back on his own. Agasa kneels next to his chair after Kaito is settled in and asks, “Are you alright?”

“Yeah.” There are still tears on his face. He sniffs and wipes them away with his hands. “I’m okay.” His voice shakes, and he’s not sure if he’s gonna keep crying or start laughing. “I’m better than okay, I’m...”

Kaito throws his arms around Agasa. “Thank you.” He hugs him as tight as he can. “Thank you so much.”

Agasa seems a bit taken aback, but after a brief moment he puts his arms around Kaito to hug him, patting his back. “Happy to help, Kaito-kun.”

It takes a while for Kaito to pull back, and he has to scrub the last of the tears off his face when Agasa asks, “How are you feeling right now? Physically.”

“Uh. Ow?”

“I’m looking for more of a scale or a comparison, here.”

“Oh. Yeah. It-- it’s worse than using my crutches, ‘cause I can take away a lot more weight from my legs with those. I mean, I can lift my whole body with one arm.”

“I thought you would need crutches, but judging by how well you did with just those few steps you might be able to get away with just a cane.”

A cane can easily be incorporated into the Kaitou Kid design. Braces under his pants and a cane might get him back to being Kaitou Kid. He would have to be careful about disguises, and his health, but...

“I could work on making the brace go higher up on your back, which could help take more weight off your legs...” Agasa mutters to himself. “But!” He claps his hands together. “This was a great first test! It’ll take a while to improve these, but it shouldn’t take too long until we get to the next test.”

“Yeah,” he agrees. It went so well, and it’s only the first test. There’s so much more ahead of him. He can do this. “Yeah! I can’t wait!”

Notes:

aand skipping back half a month to get to that agasa content. gonna be a bit more jumping forwards and back

anyway like i said way back in chapter 4-- even with all this bullshit im about to pull, i still think the most unrealistic thing in this story is how fast he gets a custom wheelchair

Chapter 50: break

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Friday, December 3rd

Aoko turns back to her desk after Keiko runs off to art club. She doesn’t need to see that his handles are flipped up to know she’s gonna have to push him home. “Hey, you ready to go?” she asks as she approaches. “Aoko doesn’t have anything she needs to do today.”

“Yeah, let’s go.” He holds out his hands. “I’ll hold your bag.”

She doesn’t waste time getting them out of the classroom and down the hall, not really stopping to talk to anyone except to say a few friendly goodbyes. She waits until the elevator door closes to ask, “How are you feeling right now?”

“Not great. I checked out for most of the last period.”

She’s surprised he lasted that long, honestly. With her desk right behind his, she can see when he tenses up too much. She doesn’t have full view of the little tics he does when he’s hurting and trying to hide it, but it’s easy to tell that he’s keeping his hands underneath his desk to wring them out, and she can imagine him pressing a thumb into his palm, digging it in so he won’t put his hands on his legs. “Aoko will help you with homework if you don’t remember the lesson.”

“Thanks.”

The elevator dings. “Aoko would say you should go home when you feel this bad at school, but...”

“Yeah, sitting in class is better than getting myself home at that point.”

Aoko hums. “It just sucks.”

Kaito shrugs. “I can manage it, at least.”

~

Kaito dumps their school bags next to the couch, hooks a hand under his thighs, and-- “Oh, jeez, my legs are freezing.” He abandons getting his feet up on the couch and pats his legs down. He didn’t think it was that cold outside, but they’re like icicles. He needs to double up on socks next time he’s outside. “Aoko, can you grab a blanket please?”

Once he’s settled in on the couch, a wadded up blanket is chucked at his head.

“Thanks,” he says, muffled by fabric.

“We can wait to do homework ‘till tomorrow,” Aoko says, another blanket in her arms as she plops herself down on the couch next to him. “You’re still out of it.”

“Yeah, and I’m gonna hurt way worse tonight, and tomorrow’s probably gonna suck too. I can tell.” He pulls the blanket off his face and gets it around his legs. “I wanna get it out of the way as soon as possible.”

“Alright.” Aoko grabs their bags to rifle through them. “Also, Aoko will stay the night.”

“I’m definitely gonna wake up in the middle of the night,” he warns her.

“It’s fine. Aoko would rather be here.”

He would have argued with her not too long ago, but he just accepts it now. “‘Kay. Just making sure.”

~Saturday, December 4th

Kaito does wake up in the middle of the night, which doesn’t surprise Aoko at all. And it’s hard for her to not wake up when he does, since they end up hugging each other in their sleep more often than not. He doesn’t startle, so it doesn’t jolt her awake or anything, but he pulls his arm out from under her which shifts her just enough to disturb her sleep. Or maybe she’s just even more in-tune with Kaito nowadays than she usually is.

“You can go back to sleep,” Kaito says with a tight voice. “I’m just gonna try and go back to sleep too.”

“It’s okay. Aoko knew this might happen.”

“You don’t have to stay up when I do.”

“Shut up, Bakaito. Come here.”

[IMG1]

[IMG2]

~Sunday, December 5th

“Are you okay?” Kaito asks.

“Huh?” Aoko looks up from her spot on the living room floor, her notes splayed out around her and a textbook in her lap. “Aoko is fine?”

Kaito wheels closer and locks his breaks. “In general, I mean.” It takes him a moment to get his fist on the floor and lower himself down completely since his back is still acting up. “I know I’ve said thanks a lot, but... I know helping me is also a lot.”

“Don’t be stupid.”

“I’m not. I’m just saying you need breaks too.”

She gives him a look like he’s gone completely stupid. “If you need help, then Aoko’s not gonna let you--”

“No. Shut up.” Kaito grabs her hands. “I know I need help. I’m not stupid. I’m just saying it doesn’t always have to be you.” He’ll always prefer it to be Aoko, but he can’t always have what he wants. “I’ve got Ginzou-ji to help me. And Keiko. And Jii. And I guess... Hakuba too. Even if that’s weird.”

Aoko blinks, taking a moment to look away from their hands before she looks up at his face. “But... Aoko is usually the one who’s with you.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m just saying-- you force me to rest when I’m all out of sorts. Am I gonna have to turn that back around on you?” He smirks. “I’ll just recite all the speeches you gave me word for word. I’ll do it.”

“Aoko would be impressed if you could.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“No!” she laughs. “It’s not. Aoko gets it. She won’t work herself too hard.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Good. But”--Kaito shifts, scooting himself closer--“I am gonna ask for your help right now because this is the class I zoned out for. Gimmie your notes.”

Notes:

genuinely i cannot believe im at update fucking *fifty* of this fic it still doesnt feel real

i dont respond to comments all that often because i have a hard time thinking of things to say but i DO read all of them and i love them and thamk so much for all the positive feedback i love yall and im glad u like my stuff

Chapter 51: practice

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Friday, November 19th

The mechanical braces Agasa built are wildly different from the leather braces he has. He knew they would be different, but it’s staggering. Kaito didn’t know what to expect other than something high quality, as Agasa’s inventions always are. But the fact that they give him enough stability to walk with only a cane is... unreal.

Re-learning how to walk the first time was frustrating and more complicated than he would have liked. But it’s easier this time, already having experience with re-learning an insane amount of menial tasks. He can accept that this will take time and effort, but hopefully not as much as before since Agasa does really, really good work.

~Saturday, November 20th

Agasa makes a locking mechanism. It’s got preset positions to move his legs into, with a control on his hip that he should be able to access even through the fabric of his pants.

Okay, so one of Kaito’s big problems is of course his legs throwing him off balance. And these braces-- this could fix the issue entirely. Maybe. Hopefully.

“So, if I want to do a handstand, this will keep my legs in place?”

“Well... I mean... theoretically...”

So that’s of course the first thing he tries, even though Agasa frets about trying that so soon. “Go big or go home, right? Handstands have been my goal for a long time, I gotta start practicing right away!”

He doesn’t actually try to do it by himself, he’s not that stupid. He asks Agasa to spot him. Kaito gets in a crouching position and locks the braces, so his knees are right up against his chest. His weight will be as low to the ground as possible, and with his legs right up against his chest all he really has to worry about is balancing a little extra weight, rather than trying to balance his legs straight up in the air using his torso.

“Are you sure I should let go...?” Agasa asks nervously.

“I’m on a crash pad.” Kaito looks at him in his upside-down vision. “I’ll be okay, Agasa-hakase.”

Agasa gives him a skeptical look, but he hesitantly lets go and takes a step back. Kaito tips a moment, but he adjusts his hands and keeps his core tight. He’s still a bit wobbly, but-- “Ha!”

“Well, would you look at that,” Agasa mutters.

“It’s gonna be a nightmare doing this with my legs straight up,” Kaito laughs. “But look at that!” Balancing when he can’t use every part of body is gonna be hard, but it’s something he can practice and actually get better at, when his legs don’t flop around in an unpredictable manner. “Uh-- actually, can you help me get back upright?”

Agasa scrambles to help Kaito. He doesn’t even think about how it’s annoying that he needs help, not till long after he’s back in his wheelchair. Help is necessary. He’ll work his way up to independent tricks in no time.

~Sunday, November 21st

Perfecting using the locking mechanism is the first order of business. Kaito brushes his hands past the lock on his hip, trying to hit it as fast and as inconspicuous as possible. Make locking and unlocking the braces seem natural. Swing his arms back and forth, make it a smooth motion when he’s walking, sitting down, standing, anything. It’s made so it can register him locking the braces in place over whatever pants he’s wearing, but it’s tricky to get right. He’s gotta practice more, make it look smooth, make sure that no one can tell that he’s purposely touching his hips-- he can’t draw attention to it.

~Tuesday, November 23rd

Running. He can run. He can run he can run he can run. Kind of. Well okay, he can’t. He can jog. Ish. And only when he’s using his cane. But that’s so much. He falls flat on his face the first dozen or so times he tries. Tilts too far into it, or too little, or his feet slip, or the braces can’t keep up with a motion he tries to initiate too quickly. It’s a long time until he can get movements down that don’t make him eat shit on the floor every handful of steps when he’s going faster than a normal walking pace.

Jogging sounds weird, so he just refers to it as running. Running with a cane is a little weird, but it does help more than it hinders. He can use it to hit the floor or a wall if he's about to topple headfirst into the ground, to slam it down and stop himself short, make abrupt turns, to lift himself up to get a weird kind of half-jump running start.

The braces physically can’t go any faster than a jog without, well, falling. Or hurting him. But it’s doable, it happens, it’s enough to give the illusion that he can run on heists, as long as he keeps people distracted. He can run-- it hurts if he does it too long, he can run.

~Wednesday, November 24th

Going up the stairs isn’t hard. Tiring, but not hard. It’s smooth, the same pace as normal walking. Going faster is-- he’s not unsteady. It’s still difficult to run, and stairs make him even more unstable, but he can get up at a moderately fast pace.

~Thursday, November 25th

He has to practice running, and running up stairs, quite a while. He manages. He makes progress. He runs. He’s never going to be over that. He’s never going to take that for granted ever again.

~Sunday, November 28th

Next step, jumping. That’s... oof. He can run sorta, but he can’t jump, can he? Except that’s quitter talk and he absolutely can. Well, he can’t on his own. The braces can. Similar to the locking mechanism, Agasa puts in a new setting that creates an automatic motion to jump since he can’t do it on his own. He has just enough firepower to crouch down, adjust something on the little control mechanism on his hip, and it springs him up. That hurts like a bitch because of how fast it goes, which just reiterates the fact that he has to be careful with his speed, even with powered braces.

But the jump power is incredible. It blows Kaito away how high he can get-- not as far as when he could jump on his own normally, nothing he can do is the same level as what he used to be able to do, but it’s enough to get him to higher places. From there he just needs to make sure that he can catch himself with his hands which is much easier than before, with how much he's been working out his arms and grip strength. Hauling himself up with only his arms is a bit awkward, but he’s dealt with far worse than a bit awkward with all of this.

~Wednesday, December 1st

Handstands. It’s one of the things he hoped beyond reason he would be able to still do. He’d kind of given up on it, and he still feels like it might be crazy, but he’s got the core strength to do it so long as the braces keep his legs in place. Right? Right. Hopefully.

If he can do a handstand, he feels like this whole hairbrained scheme will be well and truly possible. Which is, of course, stupid. Handstands aren’t exactly a staple of his heists, but it’s-- he just--

He really, really wants to try. If he gets no other tricks out of these braces, he wants to be able to do a handstand.

There’s no graceful-- or no way at all, really-- to roll or jump into a handstand the way he normally would. But he has momentum and braces that can lock in place and he’s got core strength that he quite frankly never had before the accident.

He just needs a little finagling. He’s gotta keep practicing.

~Thursday, December 2nd

He jumps and catches his hand on the railing on his stairs, the tops of door frames, tall (stable) things in Kid’s workshop, anything he can get his hands on. He has to get good at catching himself with only one hand on the smallest of ledges with his gloves on, even if he can only get a grip with his fingertips. Either that or he has to throw his cane, catch himself with both hands, and let go with one hand to then catch his cane again-- that’s more hassle, more chance of messing up, and he can’t lose his cane. His cane keeps him upright, makes sure he's steady in case his braces fail for any reason. Moreso than his cane, his hands are everything now. His braces can get him walking, but he can only maneuver the way he can because of his hands and his cane.

~Tuesday, December 7th

Kaito’s mistake with handstands was trying to roll into them. Rolling is too complex for the braces to keep up with, too much relies on his legs moving for that.

He has to have his legs locked straight before he moves to a handstand.

That means he can’t go from standing to handstand, but that doesn’t matter so long as he actually gets to the finish line.

The easiest way to the finish line is from the floor. Getting into a sort of planking position, locking his braces, and... lifting his legs with his core muscles. He started with just staying like that as long as he could, but he slowly works his way into moving up. And then-- then-- with one big haul and a little bit of momentum, he can flip himself completely upside down.

The problem is getting back down, but that’s what the crash pad is for.

~Thursday, December 9th

Practice is exhausting. The braces let him do a lot, nowhere near what he used to be capable of, duh, but it’s still mobility back. The cost is exhaustion and sometimes pain, but that’s the same as it is with his other braces and crutches. He’s just got a bit of a shorter time limit with the powered braces. These are gonna be strictly practice and heist-only since he doesn’t want to push himself too far. So he can’t do it that often-- but he can’t do it very often anyway with the amount of time that he’s with Aoko, and he’s making no plans to change how much time he spends with her anytime soon.

Well. He’ll have to pull away a little bit, for heist planning. But not too much, he thinks. Hopefully. He’s become a lot less needy than when he was right after the accident, so it’ll be normal for them to spend a bit more time apart.

But also she basically lives here now.

Well. He’ll burn that bridge when he gets to it.

~Friday, December 10th

Kaito kneels, his good knee touching the floor so he knows he isn’t hitting it too hard. Lays himself out on the floor, locks his braces, and then props himself up on his hands like he’s about to do a pushup.

Tighten his core, use it to lift his legs. Swing them up, and-- there.

[IMG1]

It’s harder to balance when he can’t adjust his weight with his legs, but he’s gotten used to it. Practice makes perfect, and Kaito is very good at practicing and adapting.

“See?” Kaito says smugly. “I know it’s not tricks, but if I can do this, I can work my way up to other stuff.” It takes longer to get out of the handstand, to make sure he doesn’t fall too fast. But he gets himself back into a planking position again and lets himself breathe for a moment. “Or maybe not, this could be all I have-- but so long as I can stand and run and jump, I can work a heist around it.”

He unlocks the braces so he can sit back upright, and is met with Agasa’s disbelieving face. “You did it,” he laughs, like he isn’t sure it’s real. “Somehow, you did it.”

Kaito grins and stands up using the wall to keep balance. “Well, I couldn’t have done it without my incredible sponsor.”

“The braces feel alright? It doesn’t jar your spine too much to do these kinds of things?”

“Well, it still hurts, but it’s not jarring,” he laughs. “Maybe you can patent something that’s a bit less... aggressive than this? Not to say they aren’t great, but I don’t know how well most paraplegics would take to this.” There’s definitely a higher than zero chance that Kaito hurts himself with this. Whether it’s because of the braces or a heist itself... Doesn’t matter. He’s willing to take the risk.

“Good, good.” Agasa kneels next to him to poke at the metal joint on his knee. “I can continue to make improvements, especially after you’ve used them for... well, for heists, I guess.” He stands back up again. “You really are going through with this.”

“I am.” Kaito feels like he’s floating. His back hurts and his legs feel kinda shaky, but he’s lighter than he’s been in a long time. “I can do this.”

He can do this.

Kaito is ready.

Now, he just has to wait for the right time.

Notes:

this is the only section where i regret specifying dates, because it does seem real quick, but... its anime. and its kaito. and its my fic and i do what i want.

also i actually had to re-draw this illustration last minute because i changed the text and just kept putting it off and forgot about it till right now

Chapter 52: birds

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Tuesday, December 7th

Kaito was minding his own business between classes and checking his phone, even though Aoko is sitting on his desk. But then she leans forward, which happens to be right where he is, so she’s basically draped herself over his shoulder to reach out to-- “Hakuba! Aoko just realized she doesn’t have your email!” Kaito turns around to see Aoko making grabby hands towards Hakuba, who seems completely taken aback.

God, Hakuba really needs to get over himself. Aoko is real pushy about friendship, there’s no chance of him escaping now. Being pushy is how she dragged Keiko into their group too, even though Keiko would definitely prefer to hole herself up in her room for all eternity writing fanfiction and painting.

He never really got that about her-- at least not until recently. He’s had plenty of times where he just wanted to disappear off the face of the earth in the past few months. Not anything too recent, but... jeez. Yeah. He’s glad he’s not in that mindset much anymore, barring wanting to sleep all day because he’s in pain. Feels better to be out and about if he can manage it.

Feels great to be out and about, actually. He’s been having a lot of fun figuring out-- well, not what his body is capable of, he’s got that down pretty well-- but what his wheelchair itself can do. Maximum speed before his wheels decide to crap out, how sharp he can turn, balancing on one wheel, that kind of stuff.

Though, he’s had a couple of close calls with breaking his chair. Maybe he should be at least a little bit more careful. If his chair gets busted, he’s screwed. But he’s not gonna stop doing this kind of stuff, so...

“I should get another wheelchair,” Kaito announces out loud.

“What the heck do you need two for?” Aoko asks.

“No no, hear me out.” Kaito grabs Aoko-- still leaning over his shoulder-- and plops her back on top of his desk. “I don’t need another good wheelchair, I just need to find some five thousand yen piece of junk.”

“Ah.” Aoko looks tired. “So you can destroy it.”

Kaito nods sagely. “So I can destroy it.”

Hakuba sits down at his own desk next to Kaito, looking concerned. “Destroy it?”

“If I break my wheelchair, I’m done for. But if I break a janky thirdhand wheelchair? Not a big deal. And I can just put it back together myself and it doesn’t matter how bad the patch job is.”

“Do I dare ask what kind of activities you’re planning that would destroy your wheelchair?”

“Lots of things! But mostly speeding.”

“Stupid stuff,” Aoko supplies.

“You,” Kaito jabs her in the side. “You’re not allowed to call my stunts stupid. You literally pushed me down a hill.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you deserved it.”

“Multiple hills.”

“‘Cause you deserved it.”

Hakuba rolls his eyes. “I would be concerned about this if it were anyone other than you two.”

Kaito gasps. “You’re not concerned about me? Hakuba, I’m devastated!”

“How unfortunate for you,” he says flatly. Aoko cackles.

~Wednesday, December 8th

Hakuba tries to get out of eating lunch with them. Poor bastard, Kaito thinks. Aoko is gonna kill him.

“Aoko’s not letting you run off!”

He seems startled. “I would prefer to eat lunch elsewhere today.”

Aoko pouts, stomping her foot on the ground. “Aoko doesn’t like you going off somewhere by yourself, she knows you like hanging out with us!”

“I can’t today.” Hakuba looks... uncomfortable. He’s got his headphones on, one ear uncovered to listen to Aoko, and he keeps fidgeting with something in his pocket.

“Yes you can. Don’t be--”

“Is the classroom too loud or something?” Kaito asks.

“Huh?” Aoko stops in her tracks, the aggressiveness in her voice dying down.

“You said before that you go somewhere else to eat lunch because it’s loud. We can go somewhere else if it’s too loud here or whatever.”

“Oh.” Hakuba pauses, though he doesn’t seem surprised this time. “If you really want to, I suppose I can’t stop you from following me.”

Kaito puts his bag in his lap and heads towards the door. “So where do you normally eat lunch?”

“The roof.” Hakuba looks down at Kaito. “But we obviously won’t be going there.” Good, he’s accepted that they’re just gonna follow him. Aoko would’ve pitched another fit about him being lonely.

“You could carry me.”

“I would prefer not to.”

Kaito snorts. “Let’s just go around the back, then. There’s some good trees around there that I don’t think anyone usually sits by.”

“Oh, Aoko knows where you’re talking about!” she says excitedly. “She’ll meet you there. She needs to use the bathroom first.”

Kaito waves her off and leads Hakuba and Keiko around the back of the school, where there’s a small path between the wall and some kind of utility closet... shed... thing. Point is, it looks like it’s attached to the wall, since it’s obscured by a couple of trees. But it isn’t, and you can go behind it and basically no one can ever find you.

“I may still keep my headphones on,” Hakuba says as they approach. “You lot aren’t terribly quiet.”

“That’s fine!” Keiko runs up to the area first, plopping herself right between the tree and the wall.

“We’ll only think you’re a little bit weird.” It takes Kaito a moment more to pop a wheelie to get himself over the curb and across the grassy area. “But hey, this is pretty hidden and quiet, right?” Kaito scoots himself to the edge of his seat and lowers himself to the ground. “I bet this is way better than your roof spot.” He takes the cushion off of his seat so he can sit on top of it instead of the ground.

“I haven’t seen this area before,” he says in lieu of an answer. Hakuba sits down and pulls his headphones down so they’re hanging around his neck, but doesn’t put them away.

Keiko glances at his headphones. “What kind of music do you listen to, Hakuba-kun?”

“Nothing. They’re noise-cancelling.”

“No music at all?” Kaito asks.

“I could. There’s a wireless connection.” Hakuba grabs one end of the headphones, probably pointing out where the wireless thingy is that Kaito can’t see. “I simply prefer silence. Hence, finding quiet places to eat by myself.”

“Well this place isn’t totally isolated. Lots of pigeons.” Kaito sees Keiko pinching the crust off her sandwich. “Oh, wait, you shouldn’t--”

“Don’t feed them bread,” Hakuba snaps. “Pigeons can’t digest it.”

“O-oh,” Keiko squeaks. “Sorry...”

“Dude,” Kaito frowns. “You’re right, but you don’t have to be an asshole about it.” Especially not to Keiko.

Hakuba stares at Kaito for a moment-- longer than a moment, actually. This is a little bit too much like how Hakuba used to stare him down after heists for Kaito’s liking. But by the time Kaito feels like he should open his mouth and say something, Hakuba abruptly turns to Keiko. “Sorry. I was only worried about the pigeons.” He produces a plastic baggie from his school bag, then holds it out to Keiko. “Here. You can feed them this instead.”

Keiko blinks at the baggie. “Corn kernels...?”

Huh. He apologized. Not what Kaito was expecting, but more importantly-- “Do you just keep that on you all the time?”

“Yes.”

“All the time?” Kaito repeats, confused.

“Yes?” Hakuba also repeats, also confused.

“...Well, alright I guess.”

Kaito eats his sandwich and watches Keiko scatter corn in between her taking bites of her own sandwich. “Ah, I threw them too close. They won’t come near...”

“They’re shy because they don’t know you. May I?” Hakuba holds out his hand, and Keiko gives him the bag. He scoops a handful of corn and holds his hand out low to the ground, and whistles a few short notes.

“Oh my God,” Kaito exclaims. The pigeons that were skirting around them just... flock to Hakuba. “Oh my God.”

Hakuba looks up from the pigeons that are literally eating out of his hands. “Are you alright?”

“Absolutely I am.” This is just delightful. “I didn’t know you liked bir--”

“Aoko’s back!” Aoko yells from behind Kaito.

[IMG1]

[IMG2]

[IMG3]

[IMG4]

[IMG5]

~Sunday, December 12th

Their “date” is that weekend. Kaito kind of thought Hakuba was joking about wanting to see his doves, but here they are at Kaito’s house-- never thought he’d be inviting Hakuba over here again-- and making their way to the backyard.

Hakuba doesn’t wait for Kaito to open the wire cage that encompasses a third of the yard, just waltzes right on in himself. “Do you keep them out in the fly cage all day?”

“Yeah, I let ‘em out early in the day so they can have a bit of room while I’m at school.” Kaito follows through the door and closes it behind him. Before he can even finish latching it, Chokochippu swoops in to settle on his shoulder and snuggle as close as possible to his cheek, as usual. “You can pick them up if you want. They respond to ‘step up,’ and they’re all friendly.” Kaito glances around at the doves in and out of the coop, and points at the one perched on the edge of the roof. “Except her. Houdini hates everyone. Including me.”

“Noted. Do you have treats that you give them?”

Kaito points him to a bucket under the coop where he keeps millet. Hakuba also doesn't hesitate to take some seeds in his hand and approach the doves that are perched on the edge of the coop’s roof at eye-level with him. 

Wait. Wait-- “Is that you?”

“Is what me?”

“The cooing. Are you cooing?” Kaito laughs.

Hakuba keeps his eyes on the two doves he’s attracted-- Henning and Lim. “I am.” Oh wow, Lim has already decided that Hakuba’s hand is a safe place to perch. “It’s not as impressive as the vocal mimicry you’re capable of, but I can imitate many bird calls.”

“No, that’s pretty impressive still.” Kaito rolls closer to the coop. “Also kind of impressive how fast you’re making friends. Lim is usually kinda shy.”

“I’m experienced making friends with wild birds. Domesticated ones are much easier to befriend, with the right mannerisms and calls.” Hakuba picks up Henning with his other hand. “May I ask something personal?” Hakuba addresses him without looking at him.

“Asking first instead of just going for it, wow. Character growth.”

“I do always ask first if I think something is going to be insensitive.” Hakuba continues fawning over Lim and Henning. “I’m just not always sure if it is or not.”

Kaito clicks his tongue. “God, you’re no fun. Yeah, go ahead and ask.”

“It’s in regards to...” He hesitates. “Your retirement as Kaitou Kid.”

“I’m not Kaitou Kid.”

“Kaitou Kid’s retirement in general, then.” Hakuba finally turns around to look at him. “Are you alright?”

“...Huh?”

“I know it’s been a while. But I don’t know if it’s been addressed with you yet, considering the secrecy surrounding that situation.”

“Huh,” he says again. He... doesn’t think so. Jii never brought it up, probably ‘cause he thought it was too touchy to approach. Chikage never did, because she’s Chikage. Kanna-- well she tried to, sorta, but she still doesn’t even know what happened, and he shut her down pretty fast. “I guess it hasn’t.”

“Are you, then?”

A month ago he probably would have said no. But with the way things are turning out now-- “I think I am.” Even if he fails, he can say he tried. And in preparation for all of this he’s made some pretty great progress physically in relearning his own body. “It was harder to deal with it in the beginning. Everything was. But I’ve pretty much come to terms with it.”

He knows he might fail. But he’s come to terms with that too.

“I’m glad.”

Kaito doesn’t entirely know what to do with the silence that follows. It’s nice that Hakuba asked, even if he’s a little late to the party. Hakuba isn’t...

Saguru isn’t really a bad guy, huh. He’s just awkward as all hell.

“So.” Kaito plucks Siegfried off of the coop door before he tips over the edge. The poor guy has balance issues and yet he continues to perch on the most precarious places. He sets Siegfried in his lap and turns to Saguru. “When do I get to meet your hawk?”

Saguru hums. “I’m not sure when I’m free next. But I should warn you that my house is not terribly wheelchair friendly.”

“Eh, we’ll figure it out.”

Notes:

bird boys!! i have never known a person who keeps ANY kind of bird to be sane. bird people are fantastic.

my best friend in the world has a green-cheeked conure and 4 quails, and used to have a starling. he also befriended/raised a bunch of wild doves that trust him enough to nest in his backyard and he can get hummingbirds to land on his head/shoulders. (cant get them to eat out of his hands but thats because the doves get jealous and chase the hummingbirds off.)

if you cant tell hes my main inspiration for making birds one of saguru's special interests.

also this is late (by my standards, i was supposed to upload like 12 hours ago) because i got sick so i passed out before my alarm went off to remind me to update the fic lmao

Chapter 53: back in business

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Saturday, December 11th

Thirty minutes after waking up, and Kaito’s still using his crutches. Safe to say he can stick to the crutches the rest of the day around the house if he doesn’t push it. Bonus, it’s the weekend. Extra bonus, he’s finished his homework. Triple bonus, Aoko is out with Keiko.

He’s been waiting for a day like this.

There’s of course an entrance to the hideout on the ground floor, there are several around the house. It isn’t quite wheelchair friendly, but he can manage getting in and out with some finagling. He’ll enlist Jii’s help to make it more accessible later. For now, he can step in with his crutches and get to what he needs: a secure phone line that’s only used for one purpose.

He pulls out a physical notebook filled with his father’s handwriting.

Each page has a name, and a short bullet point list beneath the names that list various skills and connections they have. No physical descriptions, no real names, and no contact info. Kaito has scribbled in four new entries in the blank pages, and has even added his own bullet points on a few pre-existing people in the book during the five months he was moonlighting as Kaitou Kid.

He glances over the lists, makes mental notes, and then flips to the first page which has a phone number and the kanji “栞,” guidebook, written underneath.

The number written in it is fake, of course. Calling it the first time he found this book put him through to a fish hatchery and he immediately hung up. The second time, after checking the book over again and finding a cipher hidden within the second entry which he now knows is a dud and not a real contact, the call put him through to a very surprised woman.

She called herself Kan. The alternate reading for 栞. He later found out in person that her real name is Kanna. The book itself is a list of people who assisted in past Kaitou Kid heists. A network of thieves and magicians that his father had gathered to be able to pull off the grander heists, and Kanna was his way to contact all of them. The codenames are obviously for safety if they’re ever caught-- but Kaito knows a handful of their real names from interacting with them, and knows that a lot of them know each other at least loosely, and knows that two people even know the real identity of the previous Kaitou Kid, Kanna being one of them. But his father had deemed them trustworthy, just like Agasa, and Kaito trusts that judgment even after his death.

It was weird at first, having another person besides Jii knowing his identity, but she pegged him as Touichi’s son the moment he called her from the private line. She was around for the beginning of his dad collecting people to assist in heists, and she wasn’t going to let Kaito try to lie about his parentage. But she also realized pretty quick that there was no way she could stop him even though he wasn’t even in highschool yet, so she figured it would be better to just bite the bullet and help him so he wouldn’t end up in jail or dying.

So that aside, Kanna was thrilled that someone else had taken up the mantle, and assured him that many other people would be as excited about the return as well.

He glances at the fake phone number again as he dials, though he memorized the real number a long time ago. It rings for a long time, and Kaito waits patiently until Kan picks up.

“Kid!” a high feminine voice on the other end exclaims, out of breath like she had to run to get to the phone. “Oh my God, I’ve been so worried! I got in touch with your assistant, and he just said to leave you alone. Where have you been?”

“Ah~ah, Kan,” Kaito’s voice easily slips into the distinct timbre he uses for Kaitou Kid. He does feel bad that he left everyone hanging, but it would have ended badly if he tried to call any sooner than this, honestly. “You know the rules. No private information, not over the phone.” Nothing incriminating, even with how encrypted this line is. But they’ll have to go out for coffee sometime so he can tell her what happened.

Not over the phone,” she scoffs. “Well, I’m just glad to hear from you again. Everybody else will be too. What do you need?”

“The third meeting place. Ten tonight, if possible. Call Shiro, Fuyu, and... let’s say Neko, actually. I’ll need two body doubles, but Neko doesn’t need to speak.” Doubles do come in handy on occasion. Like when Saguru figured out he was Kid, and was totally convinced that he was gonna catch him in the act just because he invited Kaito to the heist. And good thing he prepped for it, because the bastard handcuffed them together. The look on Saguru’s face when another Kaitou Kid busted in and took the prize? Absolutely priceless. He’ll treasure that expression forever.

Kaito isn’t humble enough to deny that he’s the best vocal mimic in the group, second only to his old man-- assuming he hasn’t surpassed him by now-- but a handful of the people in the list are still decent enough to get the Kid voice down or to intercept radios. He tries to avoid doubles taking the spotlight, but when he really needs them? It’s a life saver. And now, with his legs... they’ll come in handy a lot more often now.

“That should be plenty of notice. Fuyu might not be available, though.”

“Hm.” Kaito flips through the book. “If he’s not, call Aoi.”

“Is that all?”

“That’s all! You’re a dear as usual, Kan.”

“It’s good to have you back, Kid.”

~Thursday, December 16th

[IMG1]

Aoko pockets her phone after a quick reply and walks out to the dining room. “Aoko is gonna watch TV.”

“I would prefer to not have you two’s dumbass cartoons blaring while I’m trying to eat breakfast,” her dad grumbles.

“I’m offended!” Kaito calls from the kitchen.

Aoko flips through the channels. “Keiko said to check the news.”

Kaito follows Aoko out of the kitchen. “Hah?”

...have to wonder if it’s a fake, of course. It could be someone trying to draw Kaitou Kid out,” a newscaster says.

Right,” her counterpart says. “A similar thing happened after Kid’s first disappearance, didn’t it? Fans tried to get him to show up by posting fake heist notices, seeing if he would come out at least to say that they’re fake.”

We don’t have any word from authorities yet on whether it’s real or not, but the notice left on the front of the museum--”

What?!” her dad shouts.

“Kaitou Kid is back?” Kaito lights up, a grin spreading across his star-struck face.

“Yeah.” Aoko feels dazed as her dad gets out his phone and starts yelling at coworkers, putting on his coat and getting ready to walk out the door and forget the breakfast she and Kaito were making. “He’s back.”

[IMG2]

She isn’t sure if she should be relieved or angry.

The heists stopped when Kaito broke his back. As the lull in heists stretched on... she had resigned herself to thinking Kaito really might have been Kaitou Kid. She didn’t want this, Kaito breaking his back, to be the confirmation that he was Kid. But the evidence stacked up against him. The fact that he couldn’t do heists anymore was only a small comfort against everything else. Not to mention that it would mean the reason he broke his back was actually... she can’t even think about it. She wouldn’t say it out loud, but she’s been desperately waiting for Kaitou Kid to show up, to prove this whole situation wrong.

And here he is.

She finally has her answer.

It’s not Kaito.

~

Konosuke sees the heist notice from Kid on the news before he hears it from Kaito himself. He doesn’t hesitate to pick up the phone and call him. “Kaito-bocchama!”

“Did you see?” Kaito asks excitedly.

“Y-yes, I saw, and-- Bocchama, is that...?”

“Line’s secure and Aoko’s not in the house right now, but keep it vague. Yeah, it’s me!”

“That’s not... how?”

“Agasa made leg braces for me,” Kaito explains. “I can walk, and sorta run, and I can lock them into positions so my legs don’t flop around while I do tricks. I’ve been practicing, I’ve got everything planned out, I’ve quadruple-checked all my plans, everything is ready to go.”

“I can wear the suit again,” Konosuke frantically suggests. “I know you need to find--” He almost slips up and says the name, but he catches himself just in time. “To find that. But it doesn’t have to be you. I’d be happy to--”

“No. It does have to be me. I’m not going to let anyone else do this, Jii-chan. Not even you. And like I said, I’ve been practicing pretty much nonstop. I wouldn’t even think about doing this if I hadn’t tested everything a hundred times over.”

Konosuke hesitates. “You’re prepared for this.”

“I am.”

“You’ll have to have me-- someone-- watching you.” It feels useless to point it out. “You’ll still need help.”

“Well I sure hope you’ll still help,” he laughs. “I’m gonna need more than I did before all this, but that’s what you and the guidebook are for.” The laugh dies off quickly, replaced by an uncomfortable silence before Kaito sighs. “Jii-chan, please. I know you’re worried. But I have to do this. I have to at least try. If I don’t, I’m going to hate myself.”

“If you try and it goes wrong, you’ll be--” in jail. Dead. It’s too dangerous, is on the tip of his tongue, but it catches before he can say it. It was always too dangerous. He already broke his back from an accident on a heist.

But Konosuke is the one who revived Kaitou Kid in the first place, he’s the one who introduced Kaito to this, he’s the one who encouraged it. He’s the one who fostered... all of this.

He can’t say no. He’s never really been able to say no to Kaito. Even with his disability... he doesn’t think he can start saying no, not even now. And even aside from that, nothing he can say will stop Kaito, not really. All it would do is make Kaito cut Konosuke out.

It really is too late to stop him.

Then... what else is there to say? He only has one option. “What do you need from me?”

He hears the grin in Kaito’s voice. “I’ve got my bases covered this time. But if you wanna come over tomorrow, I’ll show you what I’ve got planned.”

~

Aoko turns off the light, sits on the edge of the bed, and then picks up her pillow and whacks Kaito in the face. Ow. “Scoot, you’re on Aoko’s side.”

Kaito pulls the pillow off and tosses it half back at her halfheartedly. “I’m perfectly in the middle.”

“And Aoko wants to get all the way in bed.”

“And I--” Kaito grabs her by the arm and she squeaks as he yanks her forward, making her fall mostly on top of him. “Want you here.”

[IMG3]

She pouts. “Just ask if you want cuddles.” But she does settle in next to him, and Kaito moves over to give her more room on the bed.

It’s quiet, for a bit. Aoko is resting her head on his shoulder and her body is over his arm so he can loosely hug her while she’s got both her arms around his torso. It’s comfortable. Normally he could fall asleep pretty quickly like this-- in fact, it’s gotten pretty hard to sleep if Aoko isn’t in the same bed as him. That thought makes him feel... ah, shit. He’s probably going to ruin everything again, going back to doing heists. Now he’s glad he didn’t tell her anything, but... he’s going to put up a wall again. He doubts it’s going to be as bad as before since there’s no way Aoko will believe he’s Kaitou Kid now, and he doesn’t think either of them will be able to separate from each other after everything that’s happened, but he’s still putting some kind of barrier back up between them.

His chest aches. “Are you going to the heist?”

“Mmh? No.” She shifts her arms around his chest. “Wasn’t planning on it.”

“...I wanna go to the heist.”

Kaito feels her go rigid against him, but honestly he thinks he feels her murderous aura more than her physical tension, even though he can’t see her face when they’re laying down like this. “What do you mean,” Aoko starts with a warning tone. She sits up, and now her face-- blank anger-- is fully in his view in the dim light. “You wanna go to the heist?”

Kaito also props himself up on his elbows and shuffles into a sitting position. “I mean I wanna go to the heist.”

Excuse me?” she yells.

“I’m paraplegic, not deaf. You don’t have to yell at me.”

“You-- Kaito, he’s the reason you-- why on earth would you want to go to the heist??”

Because that’s his ticket in. He needs to save all the energy he can, and breaking into the museum without being able to tag along with the task force would cost him a lot before the heist really even starts. He’s got plans if Ginzou won’t let him come along of course, but ideally... “I mean, it’s Kaitou Kid’s comeback. Of course I wanna see it.”

Aoko only stares at him, expression moving from shock to anger much too fast for Kaito’s liking. “The last time you were at one of his heists--”

“Yeah, I know. I was on a roof, I was stupid, I fell. I’m not gonna make the same mistake again.” In fact, he carefully crafted this heist so that he wouldn’t ever be more than about fifteen feet off the ground. He’s still... he’s a little bit nervous about that. But he can work his way up to heights again in a safe way. “If it wasn’t that roof, it would’ve been another roof, you know?”

None of Aoko’s tension leaves. She looks away, probably thinking about her answer. When she finally looks back at Kaito, her anger has simmered down to what he knows is aggressive determination-- only because he also knows she doesn’t want to start an actual fight. “Aoko’s not going.”

Kaito smirks. “What happened to letting Kid have it if he shows his ‘stupid fucking face’ again, huh?”

“Aoko doesn’t care if you’re excited about it,” she snaps. “She doesn’t wanna see him.”

He’s not getting out of this with humor. “Alright.” Kaito flops back onto his pillow. “I guess that’s fair.”

It takes Aoko a moment, but she flops back on top of him, face buried in his chest. “You’re so stressful,” she mumbles.

“So I’ve been told.”

“Can we just go to sleep? I don’t wanna think about this right now.”

“Sorry, sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up before bed.”

“Yeah, you shouldn’t have.”

Kaito wraps his arms around her and shifts so they’re both laying on their sides, Aoko still buried in his chest. “I won’t talk about it tomorrow, promise.”

“Better not.” She snakes her arms around him again. “Now go to sleep.”

The silence leaves Kaito alone with his thoughts again.

He really did want to tell her at some point. Almost did, a lot of times. He still has half finished thoughts and confessions bouncing around in his head, a few he tried to practice out loud, a few even on paper that he promptly burned because he thought writing it out might help. An apology, an explanation, a plea for forgiveness.

Doesn’t matter anymore.

He still wishes she could know. He wishes he wasn’t so sure that she would hate him the minute she finds out. He wouldn’t be able to take it. Maybe she wouldn’t actually hate him, maybe she wouldn’t completely stop talking to him, but... He doesn’t want to lose her at all. Not in any way shape or form. Not even a little bit. He loves her too much for anything to happen to their relationship again but he’s about to put up another wall--

Wait. He has to backtrack on that for a second.

He loves her too much for--

He loves her.

Well. Of course he does, she’s his best friend. He shouldn’t get so worked up about that. Aoko is his best friend, she’s the person he cares most about in the whole damn world. He wants the best for her, he wants to see her do great things as they grow up, he wants to always be there to help her like she helps him, and maybe if they can get past this Kaitou Kid stuff they'll still be close when they’re older. And really, so long as he can stay by Aoko’s side, he’ll be happy.

Oh.

Kaito loves her.

Like that.

Okay.

Okay, okay okay. Hasn’t ever had that thought before. Not... consciously. Not a thought he’s actually acknowledged in this specific way. Till now.

God, he feels stupid. This probably should have been obvious. They’ve been sleeping in the same bed for-- well it’s at least like half the time over these five months that they’ve shared a bed, like they’re married or something. That didn’t feel weird at all because of everything, but-- she’s asleep against him even right now, hugging him in her sleep. They keep sharing a bed. He told Ginzou it didn’t have to be weird, but it is a little weird for friends, isn’t it? Especially when it’s a boy and a girl in highschool. Especially when it’s so often.

She probably loves-- likes him back. He won’t make extreme assumptions, but everything they’ve done since his injury has been a two way street. He keeps asking her to stay the night, and she also keeps inviting herself over. They have an unspoken agreement that, without question, they sleep together in his bed.

Kaito swallows the lump in his throat.

Great. He’s had this realization, and he can’t do anything with it. They’re basically in a relationship already with how they act, no wonder their classmates are so tired of them. But Kaito doesn’t think he can bring himself to make anything official while he’s lying to her face about being Kid. So he just has to sit on that for now.

But. Honestly, this is good enough. And if it just stays like this, he would be happy. He hopes Aoko would be happy too.

As soon as he finds Pandora, he can tell her. He can tell her everything.

Notes:

kanna is back! everyone say hi kanna. i spent too long making a pun for her that was on par with kaito/kaitou

everyone who kept on expecting the kaitou kid reveal: im not sorry and reading your comments agonizing over something that wasnt gonna happen (at least not in this fic) was kinda fun not gonna lie

also HOME STRETCH BOYS EVERYTHING JUST KEEPS ON GOING FROM HERE ON OUT

Chapter 54: the day before

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Friday, December 17th

Aoko wakes up with a startled yell, breathing heavily. Kaito beside her turns over, asking “Aoko...?” with a voice that tells her he’s still half asleep.

“M’fine,” Aoko sniffs. “Just a dream.”

“Nightmare, you mean,” he says with a much more awake voice. He wraps an arm around her and lazily pulls her closer, so they’re facing each other. It’s dim, but not dark. The sun isn’t above the horizon yet, so everything is bathed in a pale blue light that lets her see Kaito’s face perfectly.

“Wanna talk about it?” he asks when she doesn’t respond.

“You died.”

“I’m alive,” he says firmly, a serious gaze fixed on her. “I’m here.”

Normally, that’s enough to make her feel better. “You died because you went to the heist tomorrow. You fell again.”

Kaito’s body doesn’t tense up, but she can see his jaw go tight as he clenches his teeth. He says nothing.

“Please don’t go.”

The blue light is slowly turning yellow, streaks of it peeking through the curtains that don’t quite touch the bottom of the windowsill. It starts to turn Kaito into a silhouette, but not enough yet that his face is completely shadowed. He isn’t looking at her.

“Please,” she asks again.

“Just let me have this,” he says, voice barely above a whisper. He’s begging. Why is he begging? Why is he begging for this? She feels like she’s missing something. She doesn’t know why he’s so desperate to see Kaitou Kid again, when his last attempt ended so badly.

“Why?” she asks, just as quietly as him.

“I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Can you try, for Aoko?”

“I don’t know.”

The edges of his hair are outlined in gold. She reaches up her hand to run her fingers through it. “Aoko can’t stop you, can she?”

He laughs, short and humorless. “You’ve been able to stop me from worse.”

Aoko untangles her hand from his hair, slipping it down to the back of his neck. She rests her hand there a moment before she pulls them together, her face in the crook of his neck, blocking out the morning light.

“Sorry.” Kaito gets his arms around her as well.

“Are you?”

“Yeah.”

“Then don’t go.”

“It’s kind of-- I just--” He makes a frustrated noise in the back of his throat. “I don’t want to hate Kaitou Kid because of this.”

“So after all this, you’re just--”

“Stop. Listen.” He squeezes her. “I really liked-- like Kaitou Kid. And I’ve got... a lot of mixed feelings on it, I’m not gonna lie.” His voice gets tight, his grip on her tighter. “I don’t wanna lose something I really enjoyed just because I did something stupid. I don’t wanna associate Kaitou Kid with some horrible accident for the rest of my life.”

She can understand that. She understands why Kaito would want to do that. But Aoko has already... she doesn’t think she can separate it right now. She already hated Kid. This is just the final nail in the coffin.

“Are you gonna stop me?”

She takes a deep breath. “Aoko won’t give you permission. But she won’t stop you.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

The silence stretches on for a good while. The room brightens up enough that she can see it even with her face half hidden. Eventually, Kaito’s grip loosens as he goes back to sleep like she thought he would. He’s always quick to fall back asleep again in the morning, he doesn’t like being up early.

She thinks about just getting up and starting the day, but she’s tired. It takes her a lot longer, but she lets herself fall asleep again in Kaito’s arms.

[IMG1]

~

“What the fuck do you mean, you want to see the heist?!” Ginzou snaps.

Kaito groans. “I already went over this with Aoko. I mean I wanna go see the heist.”

On a good day, Kaito’s fanaticism for Kaitou Kid is grating. But this is too much. “The last time you were at one of that bastard’s heists--”

“Ginzou-ji, you really don’t have to remind me what happened.”

“You’re not going.”

“It’s just watching,” Kaito says. “I won’t be able to get to a roof anyway in a wheelchair. But more importantly, I don’t wanna associa--”

“You are not going.”

“You’re not letting me finish! I’m the one who fell, so let me just-- listen, I don’t want--”

“I said no!” he bellows.

Kaito recoils and goes completely quiet. With a much more serious and collected tone, he says, “Just hear me out. Please. I d--”

No, Kaito-kun, you--” Ginzou has to take a deep breath to keep from shouting again. “I’m not arguing with you. You’re not going. That’s final.”

Kaito doesn’t try to push any further. Ginzou doesn’t know if he should be relieved or worried that Kaito gives in so easily.

~

Kaito doesn’t go to sleep easy. He goes through the motions without really thinking about them. Stretch, check his legs, undress, shower, dress for bed, medication, get in bed, steal the good pillow before Aoko does, stare at the ceiling in terrifying anticipation for tomorrow’s heist...

Yeah, totally normal routine. Absolutely nothing wrong. Just his heart hammering so hard that he has no idea how it hasn’t woken up Aoko yet, and a pit in his stomach that’s starting to make him feel sick.

So much can go wrong tomorrow. One more accident, and he’ll be unmasked or dead. He doesn’t know which is worse. But he’s practiced, he’s run the numbers, checked his plans thirty-eight times by his last count, but maybe he should get up and check his braces again to make sure they’re properly powered and functioning--

No. No, he needs sleep. Exhaustion is one of the big things that can throw a wrench in his plans. He’s tried to account for his limits: how much time he can spend on his feet, what will aggravate his pain, and how tired he could be when he wakes up tomorrow.

He doesn’t like all the variables. He can’t trust his body like he used to. A once fine-tuned instrument now broken, but he’s put the pieces back together as best he can, and this is what he has to work with. He’s okay with it. He’s just... nervous.

But he can do this.

He can do this.

He can do this he can do this he can do this.

He has to do this.

Notes:

everyones terrified comments are giving me life :)

Chapter 55: pre-show

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Saturday, December 18th

[IMG1]

[IMG2]

[IMG3]

 

Notes:

that hand is probably my favorite thing ive drawn in a long time

and also! the last chapter is going up on friday!!! just one last chapter and then an epilogue. holy shit. aaa. aaa?? this doesnt feel real.

Chapter 56: comeback

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Thursday, December 16th

There’s a notice from Kaitou Kid. (From Kuroba?) It’s been confirmed as authentic. Saguru thinks he’s in shock.

Nakamori is losing his mind. (In a good way, Saguru thinks.) The task force is scrambling to decode his riddle to find out the exact time and place of the heist. (Saguru helps, but he’s too dazed to come to the conclusion before someone else does.)

Two days. Kaitou Kid is making (another) comeback in only two days. The 18th. Exactly five months since the last heist. Was that on purpose? It has to be. Kuroba wouldn’t pass up the drama of it, exactly five months. (Assuming it’s Kuroba.)

It... it can’t be Kuroba.

Right?

~Friday, December 17th

Saguru has been observing Kuroba all morning, hardly even paying attention to their classes. “It’s not you,” he says when Aoko steps out between periods.

Kuroba squints. “What’s not me?”

“Kaitou Kid’s heist tomorrow. It’s not you.”

He scoffs and rolls his eyes. (Exasperated, tired.) “No shit, Sherlock. I wish I could pull off stuff like that these days. Got any more genius observations?”

“I was just--” No, he was being insensitive. Kuroba is his... friend. (He shouldn’t think about it too hard, lest he jinx himself.) Saguru shouldn’t be rubbing things he’s no longer capable of in his face. “I apologize. I assumed you would be excited about this heist, but I shouldn’t have approached the subject with an accusatory manner.”

“...It’s fine. Old habits die hard or whatever, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Saguru echoes.

“And, okay, you’re right, I am excited. I’m actually trying to get Ginzou-ji to let me into the museum. I definitely don’t wanna miss the comeback heist, but he’s... not having it. Especially since I broke my back on, y’know, one of Kid’s heists.” He leans back, arms crossed behind his head. “I can probably talk him into it later tonight, if he’s home. Maybe.”

That certainly would disincline Nakamori to let Kuroba on the scene. “Nakamori-keibu is stubborn. Are you sure you can convince him?”

Kuroba grimaces. “I... don’t know.” He brings his arms back to his desk, now resting his chin on his hands and hums. (Upset, longing, regretful?) “He’s probably gonna tell the rest of the task force to keep me out too. But I guess I can watch it on TV or something.”

It’s uncomfortable to see Kuroba like this. (No, not uncomfortable, upsetting.) It’s upsetting to see him downtrodden about this. Saguru wouldn’t have cared some months ago, but now he does care for Kuroba. He... wants to try and fix this for him. Offer help.

Friendships (and he has to concede this is, in fact, a real friendship,) are give and take. Saguru has offered Kuroba help in regards to his disability, but that’s simply a decent thing to do as a human being. Aoko and Kuroba have both offered their company by way of a permanent invitation to sit with them at lunch. Saguru doesn’t have a lot to offer, but this at least is something he can do. “I could sneak you in.”

Kuroba blinks, opens his mouth, closes it again, (confused,) and finally asks, “Are you serious?”

“Yes. I know Kaitou Kid means a great deal to you.” Regardless of whether or not he was Kid before, (and he most certainly was,) it’s obviously still something that affects him greatly. “And I doubt Nakamori-keibu would throw you out once you’re already there.”

Kuroba gapes at him, but then a smile splits his face. (Bright, elated.) “Yeah. Yeah, I’d love that!”

Saguru smiles back.

No, it definitely can’t be Kuroba.

~Saturday, December 18th

Nakamori isn’t happy that Kuroba is there. Kuroba, surprisingly, doesn’t say that it’s Saguru who got him past the rest of the task force. He just claims that he snuck in and argues that since he’s already here, there’s no point in sending him back.

Watching them argue is fascinating, honestly. Nakamori is stubborn and it’s nearly impossible to convince him to change his mind or shift tracks in a conversation, but Kuroba can talk circles around people and make them forget the original point of a conversation entirely. They shout in a practiced manner, knowing each other’s patterns inside and out. Nakamori seems to get the upper hand for a moment with a mention of Aoko, but Kuroba’s true goal is (obviously) to stall. He wins out by virtue of Nakamori being unable to physically haul him out of the museum since it’s almost time for the heist to start.

Saguru turns away from them to check the prize again. The target is the Crimson Desire, (tacky name,) a heart-shaped (gaudy) ruby from France, only being displayed in Japan for three weeks. It’s currently 22:57:02, and Kaitou Kid is supposed to show up at 23:00:00.

Saguru expects no one to show up. He hopes someone will show up. It would have to be someone new, (mixed feelings, too many to identify right now,) but it would still be a Kaitou Kid that he has to catch. He snaps his watch open and shut repeatedly, watching the second hand jump each time it clicks open, until a member of the task force (Takamaki Ryuu, 38, 182cm,) snaps at him, “If you click that damn thing one more time, I’m going to smash it.”

“My apologies.” He leaves his watch open, keeping an eye on the time rather than anything else in the room. No one will show up. Someone has to show up.

Will Kuroba suddenly disappear as Kaitou Kid appears?

23:00:00.

The lights in the building shut off. Nakamori shouts at someone to turn on the backup generators and the rest of the task force to turn on their flashlights, when a familiar voice rings out in the museum in accented English: “Welcome, ladies and gentlemen!” Then, back to Japanese: “What an amazing turnout tonight!”

Kid appears on the second floor of the museum, lit perfectly by a single overhead light. He’s perched on the railing, looking down at the task force in the open space below. Everyone is already scrambling to reach him. “Terribly sorry for the absence, detectives.” Kid takes off his top hat, pulling a wand (the same white as his suit, a large blue jewel fixed on one end as the handle,) out from inside before flipping the hat back onto his head with a flourish. “I’m afraid I can’t give my reasons. A magician never reveals his secrets, as you know.” Kid twirls the wand and it lengthens out as it spins.

Not a wand. It’s a cane. (Kuroba uses elbow crutches, not a cane, but that’s too much of a coincidence.)

[IMG1]

“But I’m so glad you all are here to see my comeback performance!” He slams the cane against the railing with a crack, and the spotlight shuts off. Kid disappears before any of the task force can actually reach him.

The height and body type seems right, but Saguru determined a long time ago that the costume is padded and altered in the first place to give him a different shape from Kuroba. He even has lifts in his shoes or some other method to throw off estimates of how tall he is. Aside from that, Kid is a master of disguise. He could have an assistant of roughly the same physique that would easily fit into the costume and wear a mask or makeup. But to get to the level of vocal mimicry that Kid is capable of would take an incredible amount of work, even if this new person was capable of imitating the Kid voice. He’ll have to wait and see if Kid intercepts their radios. (But Kuroba could still intercept the radios while this new Kid is running around.)

“My my, detectives. And here I was worried I got rusty while I was gone. Seems you’re the ones who got rusty instead!” Another spotlight, and Kid is on the floor, behind the task force, holding the ruby. He smirks, tapping it with his cane. With a flash of his cape he turns and runs, his laugh echoing through the halls.

He isn’t relying on the cane. (Not entirely.) Kuroba can’t walk that smoothly even with his crutches, and he certainly can’t run no matter the circumstance. Kid barely even seems to be using it. (But it’s a walking aid nonetheless.)

It’s hard to keep an eye on Kid’s movements on a good day. He never keeps things consistent from heist to heist, he even mixes up his gait to make sure no one can profile him. Different tricks, different acrobatics, different patterns, every single heist.

He thinks there are less acrobatics throughout the rest of the heist, but it’s hard to tell. Everything he does is a trick. (An illusion.) Anything can be faked, when it comes to Kid. It all makes it hard to tell if Kid is disabled. Saguru thinks it would actually be easier to notice something is different if only one of Kuroba’s legs had been injured rather than both, then he could at least look out for Kid favoring one side over the other.

But surely, this is someone else. A replacement, as incredibly hard as finding a replacement for something like this would be. There’s no feasible way Kuroba could pull this off.

Right?

The only definitive difference is that this Kid has a cane. (He keeps coming back to the cane.) He seems to be using it as part of his act, like a wand. (He’s used wands before.) It doesn’t look out of place. (But it’s new.)

In the end, the ruby is gone. Kaitou Kid’s dramatic exit doesn’t end with him flying off or making a run for it. He disappears in a puff of smoke while he’s standing in an open window. Over half the task force immediately goes outside to try and find him. Saguru suspects he disappeared back into the building to throw them off, and Nakamori thinks the same as he orders a few men to sweep the museum. Saguru for once doesn’t have the energy to chase with the rest of them. If it is Kuroba, then Kid has already stripped off his costume and is long gone, back in his wheelchair where no one will suspect him. (But it can’t be Kuroba.)

He needs someplace more quiet to think before he has to go back to the station and turn in his report on the heist. He won’t be able to determine if this Kid is the same as the previous one based on movement alone. He’s sure it can’t be Kuroba, but then again...

Saguru sees Kuroba just as he turns the corner into what he thought was an empty corridor of the museum. His back is against the wall, with his gloved hands gripping both wheels tightly. His face is flushed and he’s panting heavily, as if he’d just been doing some extremely strenuous activity. But even with all that, he looks... giddy.

“Oh hey, Saguru,” Kuroba says, out of breath. (Did Kuroba just call him by his given name?) “Kid got away again, huh? Sucks to be you.” Kuroba grins. (Smug.)

[IMG2]

Saguru has never wanted to wring his neck more than he has at this moment.

“That couldn’t have been you,” he says. (There’s nothing else to say.)

[IMG3]

“Of course not,” he agrees, wheeling himself closer. “I use a wheelchair. There’s no way I’m Kaitou Kid.”

Kuroba’s height is 135cm in his wheelchair, (45cm shorter than Saguru now,) but he might as well be right in his face with how confidently he’s speaking. Saguru has no response.

“I’ll see you on Monday, yeah? Good talk.” Kuroba keeps a smirk plastered on his face as he rolls past Saguru.

It can’t be Kuroba.

It can’t be anyone else.

Notes:

he did it!! :D with a lot of help, of course, which i am not showing because iii didnt wanna write a heist. thas it point blank didnt want to lmao. and saguru's perspective ended up working way better narratively anyway.

i came very close to redrawing the 2 end illustrations, but ultimately, they serve their purpose and i dont have energy for redrawing perfectly good art just to make it slightly more dynamic.

anyway last chapter holy shit tune in next week for the epilogue

Chapter 57: epilogue

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

~Saturday, December 18th

Kaito’s legs burn. His back aches. His arms feel like rubber and his hands are shaking from having to haul himself all over the place pretty much entirely on arm strength, whether with his new cane or literally just scaling and hanging off things by his arms. The only reason he changes out of his clothes is because he had to get his braces off and that required taking off his pants. But now he lays in bed, dazed, unsure if tonight really happened.

The heist itself was a little under thirty minutes from the time he got out of his chair to getting back in-- a bit longer than planned due to a quickchange that hit a snag because of his braces, but still within his own limit for how long he can stay standing at a given time. Extra time constraints on heists are annoying, but doable and completely necessary. Half an hour of being on his feet and overworking his arms made it hard to wheel himself home, hard to catch his breath until he could finally lay down and just stop moving. He’s going to pay for all this activity, he knows he is. It’s gonna hurt tomorrow and he’ll have no energy for days. He doesn’t think he’ll bruise, but he did notice his braces cutting into his skin in places he could feel. He’ll have to keep an extra close eye on his legs just in case, and maybe talk to Agasa about padding them more without giving away the shape through his clothes.

But he did it.

[IMG1]

He holds the ruby between his pointer and middle fingers, watching the light in his room reflect off the different facets. It’s a cloudy night, he won’t be able to return it until after he’s checked for Pandora, but he doesn’t have the energy to try and slip it back on the same night anyway. He guesses that’ll be the case for most heists from here on out if he can’t hand his prize back to someone personally-- having to wait a few days to recover before returning something if he can’t immediately toss it back at a cop before leaving the scene.

From here on out.

He’s going to do more heists.

He did it.

A laugh bubbles up in his chest and spills over before he even thinks about it. Tears come only a half second later before he can stop them, but he doesn’t even mind the crying this time. He’s alone with his prize, proof of his victory. This moment is for himself, and he’ll let himself cry-- relief, joy, whatever-- for as long as the tears will last.

~Sunday, December 19th

Kaito wakes up to his phone buzzing next to his pillow. It’s... almost eleven, damn. Did Aoko really let him sleep this long? He’s glad for it, since everything burns even more than it did last night, but that’s kinda weird. He checks his texts, assuming it’s Aoko, but it’s actually Kanna. He opens it and snorts-- she texts like a grandma and she’s not even forty.

[IMG2]

Oof. He remembers that place, and it’s definitely not wheelchair accessible. It takes him a minute to mentally rifle through places he and Aoko have been to that have ramps he can actually get up and tables that his chair will fit under. After he sends a text to Kanna to suggest the new meeting place, he gets a call.

It’s Chikage.

Kaito almost doesn’t answer the phone. He’s tempted to throw it across the room and not even care if it lands somewhere he won’t be able to reach.

He presses accept.

“Was that you last night?” Chikage asks without a greeting.

Oh. “Yeah.”

“Oh wow, I really thought you got someone else to stand in for you!” she chirps. “Incorporating a cane looked completely natural.”

He sucks in a sharp breath. Did she really watch the news coverage on his heist? He knows they got some real good video of it. Saguru is gonna have a hell of a time analyzing it.

“It must’ve been difficult, huh?”

“Yeah,” he says again. He should probably say something else besides that. But something feels off about this conversation, and he can’t put his finger on it.

“Jii-san said you’re still in the wheelchair most of the time. Will you be able to keep this up?”

“I think so.”

She hums a positive tone to fill the dead air, so she must be thinking carefully about what to say next.

“Alright sweetie, I won’t take up any more of your time. I’ve got a hot date tonight, so I need to get ready!”

“Ah,” there’s the usual stuff. “Right.”

Silence. She doesn’t try to mask it. Kaito doesn’t either.

“Call me when you’re ready.”

He hangs up.

He probably should have said goodbye, but he just--

He doesn’t know.

It finally registers what felt off. Kaito is pretty sure that’s the first conversation he’s ever had with Chikage where she didn’t talk about herself. Well, at the end there, but... she asked questions. She listened to his answers, short as they were.

Jii-san said. Did he tell her to talk like that?

He can’t imagine her just. Doing this on her own.

She didn’t even ask if he was okay.

He doesn’t wanna think about it for too long. He’s not going to let a call from Chikage ruin his day, not when it’s barely even started. Today is a celebration, he pulled off a heist last night. He does feel like hell, so he’s gonna try and make himself feel a little bit better. And step one to feeling better is always Aoko.

[IMG3]

Why was she in the shower, though? Did she forget to do that last night? Not to mention it’s super late, she usually wakes up way earlier than this. The only reason he can think of why she would forget is if she were distracted, like by... waiting up late for Ginzou to come home because it was a heist night. Ah. Well, okay, that’s gonna make him feel awful for a while if that’s the case. He shoves that down for the moment and he calls her again.

“What do you want,” Aoko answers.

“Do you have ice cream in your freezer? There’s none over here.”

“Umm, Aoko will check.” Kaito hears footsteps and the sound of her opening the freezer over the phone. “Yeah, I’ve got chocolate ice cream right here.”

“Hell yeah.”

“What’s got you so gung-ho for ice cream?”

“I want ice cream and I don’t have any here, duh? I need a fix.”

“Mh,” Aoko mutters. “Are you gonna come over?”

“Ah, well. The other reason I might want ice cream is because my body hates me and I kinda just want something nice to balance out, uh, everything else. So, would prefer to stay over here.”

“Oh. Yeah, sure, Aoko will be over there soon. Have you eaten breakfast yet?”

“Iii just woke up.”

“Then Aoko will put the ice cream in your freezer and we can have real food first. She hasn’t had breakfast either, we can make some fancy brunch thing.”

“I don’t have the energy to make anything super fancy, honestly. Unless you wanna cook it.”

“Alright. Aoko will be over there in a few minutes, we can figure out food then.”

Kaito tells her bye and hangs up the phone. He stays in bed for a minute longer, trying to decide if he has the energy to get out of his clothes and actually shower. He should’ve done it last night, and definitely regrets it now. He sits up and decides that no, showering is not on the table for today. He nearly falls back onto the bed with how much his back is throbbing, but he can’t lay down again or he’ll never get up. He just has to get in his chair and start the day. It takes him a lot to just pull his chair up close and get in, even though he didn’t bother to change his clothes, and by the time he’s done only that he can hear the front door opening.

He rolls out of his room, wincing at how sore his arms are. Kaito opens his mouth to say hi to Aoko when he spots her in the kitchen, but when he actually sees her what comes out is, “Ah, you look awful.”

“So do you.” Aoko’s got dark circles under her eyes. Her hair is still wet, loosely combed out, and she didn’t bother wearing anything besides one of Kaito’s t-shirts and her shorts that are reserved for lazing around the house. “Are you okay?”

“I’m... hurting pretty bad. I guess not.” Which reminds him, he’s gotta take his medication. He moves into the kitchen and grabs his pill case off the counter.

“Ha. Maybe we’ll have to skip fancy brunch, then. I don’t have a lot of energy to cook either.” She opens the freezer and puts the ice cream in it, then opens the fridge.

Kaito downs his pills and turns back to her. “Did you sleep okay last night?”

“Not really.”

“Were you, uh... up late?”

“Aoko was waiting. Yeah.” She shuts the fridge door. “She... okay, she gets it. She also wants to wring his fucking neck--” Her face gets halfway to a snarl, like she’s about to yell, but she deflates. “But this means Dad’s gonna go back to long nights all the time, isn’t he.”

Well. Yeah, he will. Aoko’s gonna be alone on heist nights again if she’s not on scene with him, and Ginzou will probably be pulling later nights in general again because Kid is finally back. He knew this. He planned for it. Sorta. Knowing things on a logical level doesn’t always prepare him for it when it actually happens, though. Not emotionally, at least. “I guess so.”

“So you’re... still a fan?”

“Yeah. Got to see him when he first showed up again, though I couldn’t keep up with the rest of the heist. It was really cool.”

“Hm.”

He knows it’s easier for her to blame Kaitou Kid than it is to accept that Kaito royally fucked up. It was hard for Kaito to accept that he’d fucked up too. But he didn’t have an external scapegoat like Aoko and Ginzou do. “You wanna just skip breakfast and watch a bad movie? Now that I’m out of bed, I kinda feel like I’m gonna throw up if I eat anything.”

“Aoko’s still gonna eat first. And you should eat something small at least.” She opens the fridge. “But... yeah. Let’s do that.”

Kaito goes outside to feed the doves, and when he comes back Aoko forces an orange on him. He gets most of the way through it before he gives the last couple of slices to her. She doesn’t push him to eat more than that.

It’s a bit of a haul to get himself on the couch, and it leaves his arms shaky and his back and thighs burning. He tries to rub his back, but twisting himself to reach it isn’t worth it so he just squeezes his eyes shut and leans back against the cushions.

“Really bad day?” Aoko asks as she puts the movie in.

“Mhm,” Kaito groans. He knew it would be bad, but it’s almost enough to make him regret putting the suit on again. Almost.

Aoko sits down next to him. “You still feel like you’re gonna throw up?”

“Little bit. I’ll be okay.”

“C’mere, on your side.” Aoko tugs his shirt, but lets him position himself so his head is in her lap. She gets an arm behind him and rubs small circles into his lower back. He hisses and tenses up at first, but slowly relaxes as the movie starts up and he gets used to Aoko’s knuckles pressing into his spine. “Aoko might fall asleep on you,” she warns.

“S’fine. I might fall asleep too.”

“Aoko should’ve come over here last night. Maybe we both would’ve slept better.”

“Probably.” But good thing she didn’t, Kaito doesn’t think he could’ve hidden the post-heist giddiness. “Just stay tonight instead.”

“Yeah, I will.”

[IMG4]

~Monday, December 20th

Saguru slams his hands on Kaito’s desk. “You.”

“Me!” Kaito grins. “What’s up?”

[IMG5]

“How did you do it?”

“Do what?”

“You know damn well what I mean.”

“Saguru!” Kaito gasps, hand to his chest in mock offense. “Watch your fucking language!”

“It isn’t possible for you to be Kaitou Kid.”

“Nope,” Kaito agrees. “I use a wheelchair. And I can only walk with crutches for like an hour or so before my legs give out.”

Saguru looks distressed. Like, actually distressed, wow, not even remotely angry anymore. “There’s no way it could be anyone other than you.”

Kaito scoffs. “I’m pretty sure like, anyone else is more likely to be Kid than I am.”

“How can you act like everything is normal?”

“Because it is.”

“It’s--” Saguru stops short. He stares Kaito directly in the eyes for a long while. Not glaring, just watching him. “Ah. I suppose this is normal for you, isn’t it? Keeping secrets from your... friends.” He finally sits down at his desk.

“Okay. Listen. I’m not Kaitou Kid, obviously--”

Obviously,” Saguru snaps.

“But if I was, which I’m not, it’s not like you’re the only one I’m keeping out of the loop. Aoko sure as hell doesn’t know.”

“Hm.”

“...Does it bother you?” Kaito asks.

“I’m not sure.”

“I don’t know what to tell you. Sorry.”

Saguru turns to get his book out of his bag and Kaito assumes that’s the end of the conversation, but Saguru rounds on him again. “You say I’m weird. Which you’re correct about, of course. But I find you just as absurd, you know.”

“What? I’ve done literally nothing weird this entire conversation! You just waltzed in here and accused me of being Kid again, as usual,” Kaito scoffs as he pulls his school bag into his lap.

“It’s similar to your remark about how I don’t make a fuss about your wheelchair, I suppose. You don’t react negatively to the way I act, aside from pointing out the obvious about my behaviors.”

Kaito stops halfway through pulling out his notebook. “Eh?”

“You don’t have to think too hard about it. I just...” Saguru pauses, furrowing his brow. “I appreciate it,” he finally says after his expression goes back to normal. “It’s nice.”

“Again, you’re weird.” He puts his book on the desk and scrapes the bottom of the bag, finding his pencil and also a rubber band.

Saguru snorts. “Yes, we’ve established that multiple times in this conversation alone.”

“But like... you’re welcome I guess?” He dumps the bag back on the floor. “I appreciate you too, if that’s how we’re phrasing this.” He pulls the rubber band and fires it at Saguru’s forehead. “Now stop accusing me of being Kid and go back to rearranging your desk or whatever OCD thing you do before class starts.”

~Tuesday, December 21st

“Jii-san! We’re here!” Aoko opens the door to the Blue Parrot and steps aside to let Kaito wheel himself in.

“It’s not closing time yet, you two,” Jii calls from behind the counter, a teasing tone in his voice as he cleans up glasses.

“Oh nooo, we came five minutes earlyyy, the world is gonna end even though all the customers are all gooone,” Kaito mocks as he and Aoko come up to the bar.

“Do you need help cleaning up at all, Jii-san?” Aoko asks.

“I wouldn’t mind it if you want to help me finish with these glasses.”

“Sure! Give Aoko just a minute, she needs to use the bathroom.”

“I can get that instead,” Kaito offers after Aoko runs off.

“Don’t try that with me, I know you said you’re still feeling bad from...” Jii glances to the bathroom. “You know what. You also had school today, and don’t think I didn’t notice Aoko-san pushing you up to the door.”

“Aaah, fine, you got me. I can barely reach the counter anyway, these ones are so freaking high.” Kaito slaps his hands up onto the counter to demonstrate. “See? It’s like, above shoulder height. Makes me feel like a toddler trying to get in a cookie jar or something.”

Kaito continues tapping the counter absently, only stopping when Jii says, “You did it.” He turns toward Jii to see a tired but genuine smile on his face. “I still can’t believe you pulled it off, but you did. Congratulations.”

Kaito crosses his arms on top of the counter and rests his head on them. “Did I make you worry?”

Jii chuckles. “You always do, Bocchama.”

“Still. I know I probably gave you like a dozen more heart attacks than usual.”

“That’s lowballing it.”

Kaito laughs. “My bad.”

“But as I said, congratulations. I believe some kind of celebratory drink is in order? I have sparkling cider.”

“I won’t object to that, I mean me and Aoko did come here for that-- but my ulterior motive is to say thank you.”

“Thank me? What for?”

“For everything. For going along with all the stuff I pull, and making sure I didn’t get caught, and not telling me to stop.”

“It’s not like I could stop you either way,” Jii says, something heavy in his voice that Kaito can’t identify.

“Well. No,” Kaito agrees. “But it means a lot to me that you offered to help instead of saying I couldn’t do it.”

“Back!” Aoko skips into the room.

Kaito sits up straight and grins at her. “Well, I guess we should stop talking about how much we secretly hate you.”

“Bakaito.” She smacks his head as she walks past him. “Jii-san, what do you need Aoko to do?”

Kaito feels a little bit awkward about not being able to help, but he’s learning to not feel bad about the fact that he just can’t always offer help. He just chats with the two of them while they finish cleaning up the glasses in the sink, and then they can actually get to properly hanging out.

~

It’s not Pandora. Aoko is asleep in his bed, but he goes over to her house after checking the ruby and puts it in Ginzou’s shoe. He’s back in his own house without any problems, and Aoko doesn’t even wake up when he gets back into bed and wraps his arms around her.

~Wednesday, December 22nd

Ginzou is furious, finding the ruby in his shoe. Kaito knows because Ginzou is over for breakfast, since he and Aoko are making it at Kaito’s house this time. Nothing he says is really coherent, so Kaito doesn’t comment. He does say something about getting a security camera though, so Kaito will have to look out for that in the future.

He can’t stop the small smirk that creeps onto his face when Aoko isn’t looking at him.

~

Kaito is a little bit worried about Kanna seeing him in a wheelchair for the first time. None of the people helping the heist know that he uses a wheelchair, since he doesn’t need any doubts about his capabilities. Not to mention, he doesn’t want them to have a way to connect Kid to his civilian self. He wore the braces and used the new cane that fit his costume when meeting with them to give them instructions, and they were none the wiser. Which of course means that Kanna also doesn’t know anything.

And, well, it’s not the kind of thing that’s easy to just drop over a call or text.

Kaito shows up at the cafe a little bit early just in case, but he spots Kanna just as he reaches the door. “Hey, Kanna!”

She turns towards him, confusion visible when she obviously can’t find him at his usual height which normally is quite a bit taller than her. He sees the exact moment she glances down and registers the wheelchair before she says, “Oh! Kaito-kun! What on Earth happened?”

“A lot, honestly. I’ll tell you once we sit down. Well--” he smirks. “Once you sit down.”

There’s not much of a line, so they don’t have to wait long until Kaito gets up to the register. But the barista, as Kaito expected, skips over him entirely to talk to Kanna behind him and ask what she would like to have. Kaito taps the counter. “Hi, yeah, I’m in front of her. Can I order now?”

The barista sputters a moment before she talks to Kaito. He pays without fuss and waits for Kanna to finish before they go to a table. “That was rude of her,” Kanna mutters as she sits down.

“Eh, people do that kind of stuff to me all the time.” Kaito scoots one of the chairs to the side before rolling up to the table. “They see the wheelchair and assume I’ve got a mental problem so they talk to whoever I’m with instead of me. I’m not too bothered by it.”

“All the time?” Kanna’s gaze slips down to look at the chair, then back up to his face as her eyebrows knit together with worry. “What happened?”

“Right, so. It’s a lot, and I’m just gonna say it straight. The reason I went radio silent was because I fell off a roof during that Kaitou Kid heist five months ago, and I broke my back. I can’t walk anymore.”

“Oh my God.” Aaand there’s the sad. “Kaito-kun, I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry,” he assures her. “I’m doing better now. I mean, look at what I pulled off! The only thing I had to use doubles for was a teleportation trick and a running scene. Sure, it was something I would have been able to pull off single handedly before this, but I can adapt. That’s what I’m best at!”

Kanna seems taken aback. “It was really you? I watched the footage, and you were...”

“I have an incomplete injury, so I can walk a little with crutches. Or with, y’know, a cane and totally tricked out leg braces that a certain someone made for me.”

“But you’re not using them now,” she squints. Then, it looks like something clicks. “It’s a cover. You’re keeping this up for a cover?” she asks with disbelief. “Kaito-kun, that’s insane.”

“No, I really do need the wheelchair like... ninety percent of the time. Ninety-five? I don’t use crutches that much.”

“But you can still walk?” she asks. “Sometimes,” she amends.

“Yeah, but only with aids. So, I can walk with fancy braces and a cane, but it also took me right out after last night, which is why I couldn’t meet with you earlier. Honestly I still feel kinda shaky right now, but I need to get out of the house and do stuff or I go insane.”

“...Huh.” Kanna looks confused, but Kaito appreciates that she’s trying. “So you’re just... wow, that’s insane,” she says again.

“Yes, thank you, I know I’m amazing.”

“So you’re going to keep doing this, then? You’re back on the scene for good.”

“I am! And, don’t tell the others about, y’know, this. I mean, obviously, but not even Hamada. I know he tries to pretend like he doesn’t know about me and Dad, so I won’t drag him into my life any further unless he brings it up first.”

“Of course. No personal information.” She grins and adjusts her glasses. “Not over the phone.”

“Not over the phone,” he repeats with a smirk.

“And luckily, we aren’t on the phone. So, tell me all about the heist.”

~Thursday, December 23rd

Kaito opens the fridge. “Uhh, Aoko, we’re out of eggs.”

Aoko, bits of flour on her hands and the front of her apron, whips around. “What? Seriously?”

“I got nothing. Unless you put them on a shelf I can’t see.” Kaito cranes his neck up and lifts himself out of his chair slightly to check. “Nope, not there.”

“You said you had eggs!”

“I lied, apparently.” Kaito closes the fridge. “Does this mean we’re going shopping?”

“Eugh, guess we have to, if we wanna make Christmas cake.” Aoko takes off her apron and slaps it down on the counter. “If we’re going out anyway, we should make a list of other things we need.”

He does exactly that while Aoko covers up their half finished cake batter for later. She waits while Kaito laces up his shoes, and locks the door behind them both before they head to the train station.

He ends up having to ask Aoko to push him before they even get there. “Are you doing okay?”

“I’m okay. I’m just still tired,” he admits. It’s not that bad at this point honestly, his pain levels are about normal but he doesn’t wanna drain himself completely and set himself back by wheeling himself around outside. He really, really hopes he doesn’t always have a week-long period where he’s wiped out from heists like this. He’ll have to watch himself pretty carefully. Work out more, definitely. The more strain he can take off his legs by using his arms, the longer he can go on heists. “Didn’t have a lot of energy when I woke up.”

She wheels him into the train, immediately positioning him against the wall in the accessible section and then placing herself in front of him so no one else will get in his space and knock against his chair. “If Aoko is gonna push you around, that means she has free rein to use you as a shopping cart.”

Kaito shrugs. “Sure, whatever.”

“Eh? No complaining?”

He smiles at her. “I’m in a really good mood right now.” And it’s the truth. Physically he might feel like he’s been wrung out like a wet towel, but he’s also been riding an emotional high for the same amount of time. “Everything feels good right now.”

“Except your body,” she points out with a smirk.

“Pfft, yeah, who cares about that. My body’s always gonna feel bad. But listen. Listen. Christmas cake. I’m gonna riot if we don’t have any for tomorrow.”

“You do make a solid argument.”

“Of course I do!” He grins. She blows a raspberry at him as the train comes to a stop.

Everything really is good right now. He doesn’t mind that Aoko has to push him around for most of the shopping trip, he’s not bothered by the handful of people who give him sideways glances or awkwardly avoid him, and things feel normal. He doesn’t feel confined by his wheelchair like he did some months ago. It’s just normal.

And, on top of that, he can do heists again. He’s conquered the exact thing he was afraid he would never be able to pull off. And if he can do that, he can do anything-- even if he never walks again, which he’s pretty sure he won’t. He knows he’s never gonna walk unassisted again, and everything is good. Everything is great.

Well. With Ginzou and Aoko-- especially Aoko-- it’s... less than great. It’s gonna be rough now that Kaitou Kid is back. But things will go back to normal with them soon enough. It’ll be okay.

Kaito can’t tell her now. He won’t be able to tell her for a long time. Not until he finds Pandora. Not until he finally draws out his dad’s killers. Not until he gets them behind bars.

Or until he’s behind bars.

But that’s always been a possibility. He just has to be even more careful now.

He can do this.

[IMG6]

Notes:

uh. thats it. we're done. holy shit.

"when you hit disaster" is a perfectly fine standalone story, even tho quite a few things in here (kanna for example) are buildup for later plot in sequels.

unfortunately, i dont know when the sequel will be finished or posted. i do have it partly written, and im chipping away at it bit by bit, but i dont have the drive to write like i did for this first story, so it's gonna be a lot slower to write. wheel of fortune is kinda simmering in the background while my main focus is on other projects and fandoms right now.

so, subscribe to the series to get a pleasant surprise sometime later down the line. im sure i'll be vocal on tumblr (@faerynova) if i get close to finishing something.

this project may have been a year-long fever dream of writing held together by spit and spite, but wheel of fortune means a lot to me and the positive response to it has been insane.

everyone who commented, thamks!! esp to the people who left MULTIPLE comments, or even commented on every single chapter (youre insane and so immensely appreciated), know that ive come to recognize your usernames in my inbox and i love you

thank you so much for reading. i'll see yall hopefully sooner rather than later!

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