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Prancer and Dancer (and Kara and Lena)

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“Babe?” Kara’s voice came from the kitchen just as Lena was getting to the juicy part of the paper on alien gene mutations and how they could benefit human medical research that Alex had emailed her that morning.

Her girlfriend appeared in front of her a moment later, phone in hand.

“Alex just sent this to me,” she said simply before handing Lena the device.

For a second, she thought it might be the same article but when she looked at the screen it was a news article from a couple of days ago—distinctly less scientific than the one Lena herself had received—with a headline that seemed to raise more questions than it answered:

‘Man-hating, demonic rage machine’ chihuahua desperately needs a lesbian couple to adopt him

Lena scoffed.

“No, thank you.”

It’s not like she hated dogs, per se. She just… wasn’t the biggest fan—especially if they were described as a ‘demonic rage machine.’ Was the fact that there was a dog who hated men so much that he could only be adopted by a couple of lesbians vaguely amusing? Yes. (Could she relate? Also yes.)

She turned back to her paper, assuming Kara would go back to the kitchen and continue cooking dinner.

“But Lena…” Kara tried again instead, obviously not satisfied with her girlfriend’s reaction as she took the printed article from Lena’s hands and deposited it on the side table.

“His name is Prancer.”

Like that made him any less of an apparent hell beast, Lena thought.

“I’ve always wanted a dog. This is perfect.”

That finally caught the brunette’s full attention.

What?

Kara couldn’t really be saying what Lena thought she was saying right now. Right?

“He’s housebroken as well,” she continued, either unaware of Lena’s apprehension or choosing to ignore it. “And it says he’s good being left home alone, so us being at work all day won’t be an issue.”

Completely blindsided, Lena was trying hard to come up with something that would keep Kara from taking this any further.

“If he’s so great why don’t Alex and Sam adopt him?”

“He hates kids, apparently,” Kara answered sheepishly which—shocker.

“So what if we decide to have children?”

She knew the argument wasn’t completely fair but—in contrast to this dog—a child was something she actually wanted to have with the other woman.

Kara’s forehead crinkled in confusion.

“I thought we agreed to just be the cool lesbian aunts for now and enjoy our freedom a little bit longer.”

Maybe bargaining would work.

“How about a cat? Or a pet iguana. A tarantula. Anything else.”

“Look at his cute little face, though.”

Kara held her phone back toward Lena, who was confronted with a photo of the angriest, most aggressive-looking dog she’d ever seen.She truly hadn’t thought any visual representation could do the description justice, but somehow he looked exactly as she had imagined.

“I don’t think this is a good idea, darling,” she said, trying to soften the blow as much as possible.

“But no one wants him, Lena!” The blonde threw her arms up in sheer desperation. “Someone needs to—”

“We’re not adopting a demon in a fur coat.”

She got where Kara is coming from, that was the worst part of this. She truly did. They both had a history of abandonment issues, of feeling like they weren’t enough, that they were unwanted. But she also had her principles; Kara was working hard to make that increasingly difficult, though.

“Baby, please. Pretty, pretty please,” she pouted, batting her eyelashes in an almost comical way.

“Kara, no.”

Lena was trying to stay firm, trying not to give in because, frankly, this was ridiculous. She should have not even let it get this far, should have shut the conversation down right when it had become clear where exactly the other woman was heading with this.

“Kara, yes!” the blonde countered, blue eyes big and round and Lena knew she was fighting a losing battle. There was no way she could deny her girlfriend anything—especially if she was looking at her like that.

“You’re insufferable,” she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose with a mixture of genuine annoyance—most at her own stupidity—and mock-exasperation.

The grin that spread across Kara’s face in response was almost blinding.

“You love me, though.”

Slowly, she inched closer toward Lena, one step at a time, until she could lower herself down into Lena’s lap, one leg at either side of the brunette’s body. Almost instinctively, Lena’s hands came to rest on her hips.

“Unfortunately, I do,” she agreed.

For a moment, they just looked at each other—like the lovey-dovey idiots Lena swore they’d never be—before Kara leaned forward slightly to nudge Lena’s nose with her own. And damn Kara and her magic presence because Lena had already forgotten what they were arguing over just now.

She leaned in a little more, angling for a kiss, but before their lips could meet, Kara drew back slightly, a mischievous grin on her face.

“Can we go down to the shelter? Just to have a look?”

God-fucking-damnit.

 

“Alright, so—as you probably know, he’s not the easiest dog around,” the woman from the shelter explained as they walked down the long, white corridor toward where Prancer was currently being held. That statement was maybe the understatement of the century. Because Lena had actually read the full article—along with the original viral Facebook post it was based on—on the way over. Although descriptors like ’50% hate and 50% tremble’ and ‘a haunted Victorian child in the body of a small dog’ did intrigue her, just a little bit, she had the sinking feeling that Kara had her heart set on this to the point where there was absolutely no reasoning with her.

“But don’t let that deter you.”

Kara nodded enthusiastically while she dragged a reluctant Lena along by the hand. The fact that they were even here right now to begin with was crazy. She had absolutely no interest in adopting this dog, as horrible and heartless as that might sound. She just wasn’t a dog person.

A second later, she was reminded why.

The woman opened a door and immediately, Lena heard what had to be Prancer barking bloody murder at a volume that should be impossible considering the size of the dog. The closer they came, the louder he got and she already expected him to go absolutely ballistic when he saw them.

However, the exact opposite happened: the second Lena stepped into view, the dog fell completely silent.

“Well, that’s a first,” the shelter employee laughed, regarding them with a mixture of shock and astonishment. “Normally he goes crazy when he sees strangers.”

Kara beamed, squeezing Lena’s hand a little tighter.

“Aww, he likes you, babe.”

She looked so genuinely excited that Lena could feel her heart flutter in her chest.

Her gaze traveled from Kara to the dog and back again and she realized with a sigh that she really had no choice but to resign herself to her fate.

 

A few weeks later, Kara was on her way home from work—one of those rare days where she returned after Lena thanks to a breaking news story that hit right as she was supposed to leave—exhausted and ready to see her girlfriend and their new addition to the family.

To everyone’s surprise, Prancer had integrated himself into their lives fairly seamlessly, mostly due to the fact that he seemed to be absolutely obsessed with Lena. (And Kara really couldn’t fault him for that.) He followed her wherever she went, including the bathroom. Although Lena pretended like it annoyed her, Kara knew she secretly found it adorable.

She unlocked the door, quietly took her shoes off, and shuffled into the living room, stopping dead in her tracks at the sight in front of her: Lena “No Dogs on the Upholstery” Luthor asleep in the middle of their giant couch, arms wrapped around Prancer who was pressed tightly to her chest like a child and their favorite stuffed toy. It was absolutely adorable.

She quickly snapped a picture to tease Lena with later before she climbed onto the couch next to her girlfriend and snuggled up.