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when you love someone

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chifuyu was dying

rhetorically? he was dead

hypothetically? he was a blink away from flatlining

literally? oh how he just wished he was

if the impending duties and assignments he has due have anything to go by, face planting on his bed and slumbering for a concerning amount of time where it could be a literal coma- it was getting closer and closer to chifuyu’s palpable destination

the clock ticks, it read 11, in any other day he would’ve been ecstatic to see it be so early in the evening when the years of sleeping at dawn was his normal, but now chifuyu can’t help the frustrated sigh as he dropped his head on his desk that came out more of an angry gargle

he couldn’t concentrate for shit

stepping into senior year should’ve been a breeze if how he sailed through the previous years were where he’d base it upon, but he couldn’t quite know what it is that’s weighing him down, every task just seemed to fly over his head and he just couldn’t do it

he shifted and gently blew his hair away from his face, his thoughts were going haywire, he couldn’t be bothered to understand the chemical components of his fucking hormones when his train of thought was breezing through the idea of how many ounces of gel can he put on his hair for it to not simply be soaked by his hair but also his brain- as if it could help in soaking in the information he just couldn’t be bothered to process

he needed sleep; it was an understatement to boot, but with the truckload of work, sleep was the last thing on his mind

death seemed easier, he thought

he chuckled to himself and immediately stood upright, “fuck im going crazy,” he says to himself while shaking his head as if the action would clear the intrusive thoughts, but he still tries anyway

he stretched up taking a deep inhale of air and leaned on his seat, his phone lit up and vibrated signaling a text which in all honesty he doesn’t give two shits about- he loves his friends, truly, but at times they were too much, only one person could ever pull him out of this headspace and that person was another problem

putting it into perspective, chifuyu had 99 problems, and that person is literally all of it

he turned his head to the side, catching sight of the polaroids taped to his dresser; they were holding on to dear life with the way they were leaning heavily and the tape loosing its stick so chifuyu trotted over palming the pictures back to the wall

he stopped at a particular film; it was one of him and his best friend, well- at least for him

rogue black hair and toothy smiles, eyes crinkled stretching his face to its limit, a smile that can make the sun cower with its luminance, an arm around his own figure mirroring the same joy with the grin his face also stretched out

it was in their middle school graduation, the joy he felt on that day radiant and vibrant in the still image

he flipped it around and sees the masking tape loosing its stick and so he gently removes it from the film and placed it on his desk to admire

he unconsciously smiled, while lightly tracing the two figures with his finger, chifuyu would reason out a hundred mistakes, or problems, and blame it on a thousand paraphernalia before he admits the boy in the picture was the primary cause of his unease

'grad :) w/ baji !!’ it read on the blank space at the bottom, his heart clenched, baji keisuke, his best friend, the one his heart yearns for

he didn’t want to dwell on when and how things changed, when and how he suddenly saw him in a different light, how he suddenly blurred the lines and made himself a slave to his own desires, and how much he just wants it to end for the sake of their friendship- it was too much of a risk

but in all honesty, he doesn’t want it to stop, there was comfort in the heavy pine, the flittering looks and clumsy hands, the way chifuyu looks at him like he built the road they walk upon, like he’s his favorite song he just can’t sing, he’s the sun and chifuyu is a mere boy who strains his eyes trying so hard to view him unfiltered even through the warnings and signs that it could blind him it’s been so long, he thinks, that if ever his brain finally gets a hold of his heart and lets him think rationally, he doesn’t know how to act anymore

he sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair, his phone continued lighting up and vibrating by his side but he ignored it as he stuck the picture back to the wall and turned away from it to examine himself in the mirror

his hair was a mess, the pools of black under bags line his eyes weren’t foreign but they were so forlorn it even shocked himself, his cheeks were hollow resulting from weeks of work under pain, sweat, and tears

“i want to fucking rest,” he rubbed his face rather harshly, and the burn left by his fingernails pricked him awake

back to work back to work, he whispered to himself as he sullenly sat back down, turned his phone off and prayed, god he wasn’t religious but if any deity might take pity on him just please please, at least let him finish through this chapter

an hour had passed, maybe more- it felt so much longer, but in reality it was seven excruciating minutes before he gave up and slammed his book shut, he tucked it under his crisscrossed arms and laid his head with a faint thud

he couldn’t do it

his lids were heavy and just as he was dangerously close to falling asleep, staccato knocks on his door jolted him awake

“honey, your friend is here!”

chifuyu’s mom continuously knocked but her voice was a whisper, though through the silence in his room it echoed louder

“should i let him in?”

first of all, who the fuck could be at their door at almost midnight? chifuyu tutted and huffed quietly, slipping into his coat and a pair of blue character slippers as he walked to his door

“you’re still awake?,” chifuyu asked his mother, still dressed in her frilly neon apron with a ladle in her hand and from the smell of it he can point soup, seaweed maybe?

“just finishing up,” she smiled and took his arm downstairs if he gave a fuck, knew who it was on the door, or if he was just awake enough, he would kindly push his mother’s affection away, especially this blatant because i have a reputation dammit!, but through his weak physique and closing eyes, he just leaned into her and welcomed her warmth

“you’re still not done?”

“just a bit more chapters.”

“you need to sleep or else you’ll burn out.”

“last, promise- i promise then i’d sleep” chifuyu sheepishly said as he reached the door, his mother then pressed a kiss to his forehead as she went back to the kitchen.

he didn’t know why he didn’t ask who it was or why his mother was willingly letting her son open the door for god who knows could be outside their residence at 11 in the evening- if this is how he dies he should’ve wished he’d get to kiss the love of his life first

this is insane, he thought as he grabbed the doorknob, it might be mikey, takemitchy, hell it could even be baji- oh god it could be baji

“honey what’s baji’s choice of drink?”

“coffee”

what?

his body outsmarted his brain as he swiftly opened the door, and there he was

under their porch light, he looked so mellow, warm, the personification of slumber chifuyu was craving

but as his brain began to register the pace at which everything happened, he saw the boy look down at him and grin, lethal canines surfacing and snagging light, gone was the warmth and ambiance, now he just looked like the embodiment of every problem chifuyu ever had

fuck he is

“honey, huh?”

damn him and his canines and his smile and stupid warm face and his stupid height and just damn baji keisuke

“you’re staring”

“w-why are you here?”

“why cant i?”

“god- do you know what time it is?”

“yeah clearly cause i caught you awake, you weren’t answering my calls”

so it was him

chifuyu wasn’t about to tell him he didn’t pick up because he was reminiscing and was a pinch away from a total meltdown while staring at their middle school graduation picture hell no

“i was studying”

“figured”

“then why are you here?”

it wasn’t that chifuyu was not excited- no, if it weren’t for the disgusting mix of shock and fatigue in his system he would’ve been all over the floor jumping in joy or whatever people do when the person they’ve been dreaming of shows up at their door right about the time they needed them the most

“i wanted to see you”

if chifuyu wasn’t dead a while ago, he surely is now

__________

“i’ll bring the drinks upstairs you go up head boys,”

chifuyu’s mom said as she heard the door close shut not witnessing the total embarrassment her child was going through as he ushered baji inside, not looking at him directly as his face burned more than the water boiling in the kitchen

“just- just leave your coat there”

chifuyu pointed blindly by the rack beside the door, all the while hearing the forced to be silent giggles of his ever so wonderful guest behind him

“are you staying?”

“i was just calling you if you wanted to drive around with me for a bit”

they spoke at the same time and that was the last thing chifuyu expected him to say, so he whipped his head around just in time for the fucking smile to creep back on baji’s face as he finally bore witness to chifuyu’s flushed face

“do you want me to stay instead?”

baji tilted his head, his hair gently swaying and falling on his face, he cocked a hip and placed his arm on it, his smile bigger than ever and chifuyu might have left the violence and anger back in middle school but god did he just want to punch the living lights out of this boy before him and knock the smug grin on his face clean off

but i want to kiss that stupid smile off- now he just wants to punch himself for the thought

“w-what no! i mean- im studying i can’t, you can stay but- i didnt wait fuck”

“that’s not an answer”

“shut up”

“i’m waiting, “

“god shut up- just”

“what if i dont?”

“fuck off i have so much to do i cant- i want to but i cant- i cant join you right now”

he’s whispering by the end of his sentence as he closed and rubbed his eyes, he wants to, he really wants to go, aside from the fact that its baji asking him for a ride, he knows to himself he deserved it; he deserves the break, but fuck, he has so much on his mind that he thinks he couldn’t handle whatever the gods have in mind to happen if he ever agrees to join

there was a beat of silence for a while, and chifuyu nearly forgot that baji was still there, he looked up and saw him staring but his grin was gone instead his lips were in a tight line; he looked thoughtful, and he looked so young with his head still cocked to the side and looking at chifuyu like he’s the only thing that matters in the space theyre confined in chifuyu wants to look away, to break the eye contact and breathe, but there’s always something about his gaze that keeps pulling him in, and every time he locks eyes with him it seems like it never wants to let chifuyu go

“i’m sorr-“

“you’re coming with me”

“what- what i just said-

“you need it”

“no it’s ok i dont- i have to-“

“ ‘fuyu i know you and takemitchy are in the same class and he just said you have monday off, it’s a friday night- you need to let loose for a while, are you even sleeping? im worried about you ‘yknow?”

chifuyu can feel his face pick up temperature, fuck him and fuck takemitchy and fuck his class and fuck the world and fuck himself most of all because it doesn’t look like it’s just his eyes that are pulling him in, chifuyu himself is walking, straight up sprinting to baji's arms at this point

“but im- mom,”

“you can go, i’ve been telling you to take a break anyway, “

teenage heads shot up to chifuyu’s mother as she spoke up, a small smile gently lining her lips, “you have my permission.”

baji turned around, and chifuyu caught sight of his eyes that has a certain playful glint, he looked like a puppy who finally got a treat, and with a face like that- chifuyu was only human

a weak, pathetic, love sick human, but chifuyu would rather dive headfirst into a highway than ever admit that

“but- if he isnt home by 12:30 i am personally banning you both from seeing each other for a while, do you understand me?”

the sudden tone and change in demeanor of his mother would usually make chifuyu pause, but this time he couldn’t help the giggle to slide past his lips, and he lets it go as he sees in his peripheral how baji turned away with his reddening ears and shaking shoulders

chifuyu’s mom tuts, “i’m serious,” she cocks her hips and pointed the ladle at the two teenagers before her, “are we clear?”

“y-yes mam i’ll have him home by 12:30, you have my word.” baji coughed to clear his laughter and sent a gut churning wink to his mother which only earned him a laugh and a command to get changed to warmer clothes before going out

the pair headed up to chifuyu’s room as chifuyu changed and baji silently waits by the door outside, if one were to nit pick baji, they’d definitely notice his skin having a slight shiver- he was excited to say the least, his brain can’t help the useless chant of ‘it’s a date it’s a date it’s a date’ all the while oblivious to the other boy inside the room poorly reminding himself that, chifuyu this is not a date!

“let’s go”

baji’s train of thought came to a halt as he looked across to see chifuyu changed- well, he changed little other than the padded coat and some sweats; he ruffled his hair as he fixed his zippers and baji watched him with a small smile

chifuyu decided on omitting the hair gel, so his hair was cascading down his eyes and fluffed up to his ears, god he’s cute

“come on,” chifuyu ushered walking towards the stairs, baji doesn’t know if chifuyu would ever change out of his beloved indoor sandals as the bright blue fluff clashed with his black get up, and baji snickered at the image of driving around with chifuyu in those slippers

“nice sandals by the way”

chifuyu looked at baji incredulously and trailed his eyes down, fucking doraemon stares back

“oh go die!”

__________

“you know you can lean on me right?”

chifuyu looked upon the rear mirror to see baji already looking back, despite the helmet covering half of his face, the crinkles in his eyes tell him he was grinning, the stupid cheshire grin that never fails to make him tuck tail and run

he sputtered, jerking back and rocking the bike, making him clench and grip the ravet junction on the back, “i’ll be fine,” he grumbled, looking down and adjusting his position making sure every limb on his body was close and not a single hair of his will touch the other boy before him

tempting as it was to just lean forward and bury his face on the other, especially with the bubbling anxiety he always gets on motorcycle rides, god be damned that he’d take advantage of the situation just for some contact

though it is getting very very hard to resist

baji was still looking at him, seemingly analyzing his every move, chifuyu can’t say he hates the stare, more often than not he does some stupid shit and often says stupid shit just to get the other boy to look at him, just to get his attention on him, but not like this, baji’s gaze was analytical, much like his stare before being bribed to go on this impulsive drive, chifuyu felt small, and very much seen

“what?” he tried to act nonchalant, always, he could never truly keep his cool before him, there was this glint in his eyes and sincerity in the way he speaks- it breaks down chifuyu’s walls, the walls he spent so meticulously building and carving, and with every word and smile, it’s crumbling, and the worst part is, chifuyu’s not exactly against it, no- not anymore

warmth spread on his cheeks as they connect eyes again, the glint in the mirror made baji’s eyes pop out more, black pools that snags his whole being and shakes him alive, he can tell that the shameless asshole was still finding this amusing

“you’re really gonna hold on there?”

“yeah it’s fine im settled now”

“y’know how i drive just ho-“

“im getting off if you dont fucking drive in the next sec-“

“suit yourself.”

revving the bike to life, the lights shone upon the dark street, engine blaring and noisy, baji twisted the handles warming the motor up, he sat upright, shoulders tight and hips balancing the bikes, his knees closed in as he gripped the motor with his legs

if chifuyu wasn’t so well versed in all things baji, he would say he was showing off, bragging even, but it was fitting, it was a beautiful bike after all

“hold tight”

the sing-song tone was the only warning he got as baji sped away, chifuyu suddenly felt boneless, he gripped the ravet harder, the dark streets were welcoming them in seemingly an abyss of an endless drive

it was past friendly hours; the sun is long gone, the moon above him greeted like an old friend, he never tried biking at night, he was too much of an anxious freak to do so, but as chifuyu looked to the side, the bank accentuating their street reflected back at him- the sleek bike heaving two gangly teenagers on a midnight drive, rationally it’s dangerous, people might say stupid, but under the curtain of light the moon lays upon them, chifuyu thinks romantic

if he could paint a scene, this would be his best masterpiece

it doesn’t feel like baji could get any faster, but he did, revving the bike again, they gained speed; the lights reflecting on his helmet blurred into lines; the neighborhood disappear in his peripheral

“bastard- slow down!”

baji was being an ass, A-grade, no doubt, as he picked up speed, chifuyu's cry falling on deaf ears.

they were almost in the city, just shy of a few miles, he can tell by the bank that was thinning out on their side, the speed made his heart lurch to his throat and his hands clammy, baji never drove like this, - well as far chifuyu knows, this isn’t the first time they drove together, but this was the first time it was this, this reckless - the speed was making him anxious, but that he wants it to never end terrifies him more

they were reaching the train tracks that waypoints they’ve reached the edge of his town, chifuyu knows this route like the back of his hands, he had always been one for adventure, and his little town offers him more than he could dream of

baji finally slows down, feet teetering on the brakes until it came to a full halt as the view of the safety bars lowering itself down comes into his vision

he kicked the foot peg to lean the motorcycle down, resting his foot beside it, he opened his helmet shield and looked behind him

“so?”

“so- you’re an ass! that was too fast you- you could’ve warned me or some- “

“i did warn you though”

“yeah but you should’ve told me-“

the stop at the tracks didn’t halt the adrenaline still coursing through chifuyu’s veins, which is why it’s the perfect candidate to blame when the train passed making chifuyu lurch forward and wrap his arms tightly on the other man’s waist, his body leaned in heavily with his face buried by baji’s back, his shoulders were tense almost reaching his ears

time seemed to drown by the heavy metals of the train coursing through the rails, the alarm signifying its course was deafening, but chifuyu’s heavy breathing was louder in his ears, the cold breeze the train left behind made dust and grime dance in its wake and even though it sped off in silence before them, motion was taking its time before going back to the pair

the seconds blurred into minutes, and the minutes seemed to take a lifetime, the train whirred in the distance but chifuyu was still clinging to the other boy for dear life- it was like the train was coming up to them instead

but the sudden realization was quick, freezing water drowning chifuyu with fervor, and before he knew it he was pulling away, mumbling curses and apologies while jerking rebuke in the process until leather-clad hands gripped his cold aching fingers

“keep them there.”

he looked up with urgency, which he ultimately shrinks into as deep black eyes bore into his, the light of the rails sinking into baji’s eyes made it richer and an outline formed tracing his every nook and being, he was glowing- chifuyu can’t look away

he never could

“are we even now?” baji giggles

“you’re still an asshole and i hate you”

“ ‘course u do.”

baji was stifling laughter as he looks back at the road and starts revving the bike back to life chifuyu couldn’t look away, he never would

__________

“i know how you drive- but what the hell was that?”

“oh c'mon you didnt seem bothered by it by the end didnt you?”

“you’re a shit driver,” it was a lie, they both knew

“oh give it up, it’s brand new! i need to show it off somehow,”

baji jogged up beside him, nudging his side with an elbow

brand new looked like a huge understatement, freshly sealed, rears polished sheen silver, windshield void of dust and grime, the glass was reflective in broad neon fluorescent lights, even the poorly lit restaurant frames can’t help but make it shine back at him, he can see himself- his face flushed out from the wind, hair unruly and unkempt

chifuyu was full, stomach brimming with oily noodles and cold soda, it filled his entire body with a pleasant buzz; he feels drowsy, the urban scape lulling him to the good nights sleep he’d been dreaming of for weeks, but at the same time he was still expecting, there’s still so much of tokyo he hasn’t seen, the streets seem endless with the shadows of 24-hour convenience stores and the streetlights on the bridge; the wind wasn’t helping his dropping eyes, but the air in his veins was keeping him awake, full of life and vibrancy his regular repetitive routine could barely give, the serotonin of the drive was keeping him awake, and through the fabric poster of the noodle house behind him flapping in his ears and the glaring lights poking needles in his eyes- looking back at the person who made this night possible, his hair riding the dawning wind, keeping his eyes dear to the bike before them and looking back at him from his shoulders, stretching his lips to a grin brighter than any night life he has ever seen chifuyu felt inevitable

“ready to go?,” baji tilted his head to rest on his shoulder, leaning into the bike with one hand on his jutted hip

chifuyu looked down on his feet, beat-up sneakers fraying at the edges, and placed a hand on his neck and rocked back on his heels, “if you want- i mean, yeah, what time is it?”

“shit its 12:17”

they both looked stupid, their bodies seemed to freeze even though they were actually frantically moving around as they try to get their lanky limbs on the bike

his mother’s words loomed on both of them, even as friendly and kind as she looks and as she really was, her words were final, and even though chifuyu would rather walk than experience another over the limit drive, not being able to see the other makes him more anxious

“fuyu i know i said i won’t speed-

“its ok,” chifuyu looked up, though his eyes were dropping, he looked sure- determined even

“you sure?”

“ ‘s fine if i die im haunting you first”

“not if i die first”

“shut up and just drive”

“then dont hold there hold me”

“dont be stupid its fine-“

“chifuyu”

“ok- ok fine,” chifuyu grumbled as his eyes cast down, he can feel his cheeks get hotter again, fuck that his hands were shaking, not from the impending drive- but from holding baji in proximity, again

“see that wasn’t so hard now was it” baji teased as he flashed him a devious smirk and revved the bike up

“god just drive or i’m walking there- wait!

the bike sped up, not giving chifuyu the space or the time to breathe, and soon he finds himself again just like before; the skyline was blurring past his eyes as his body focused on gluing his body on baji’s back; he was unconsciously tightening his arms every time baji made a sharp turn, but he knew they’d be fine, he trusted baji more than anyone in the world

“i’m going to get you for this,”

face buried on the latter’s neck, he mumbled knowing the other wouldn’t hear him anyway- not with him being a literal head taller, but the scent of his cologne and shampoo calms him down, and by the time chifuyu regained his bearings and had the courage to look up, they were already by the stream mirroring his neighborhood

chifuyu suddenly remembered a passage his elders used to tell him, you never learn how important something is until it’s gone, and maybe seeing his house come to view and the bike slowing down was the reason the taste in his mouth turned sour and his stomach collapsed into knots

he didn’t want this at first, now he doesn’t want it to end, he doesn’t know what part of it, if he could relive the past hour he would, over and over again, but what part doesn’t matter, maybe he just didn’t want to be in his true reality again, or maybe it’s baji, in the end, it’s always baji

“were here honey,” baji hummed as he placed the stopper down and took of his helmet, he turned around to grab chifuyu’s arms and help him down, he doesn’t know if it was his nerves or the whiplash of reality again but his legs feel like jelly and he collapsed face first in leather jacket toned arms and the scent of stale beer, the wind, and home

chifuyu felt weird, in a way, he doesn’t want to get up, he couldn’t even taunt him back at the stupid nickname he’s just sure baji would use against him from now on

“fuck- sorry”

“easy there- come on you’re ok, you’re fine”

baji’s arms around him were strong, firm and so fucking buff, but it was tender, like holding him any other way would break chifuyu

chifuyu finally breathes, those damned arms are the fucking answer he was looking all along, if he can just fall into those arms every time he’d feel as is the world would take everything precious away, maybe, just maybe he’d finally be ok

fuck, can’t we just stay like this forever?

“i’d love to but we at least have to go inside”

chifuyu jolted upright, did i just say that out loud, what the fuck, what the fuck am i thinking-

“i didnt mean-“

baji then threw his head back, genuine laughs spilling from his pristine lips, it took chifuyu by surprise but he was enamored, he wants him like that; he wants every part of him, the good, the bad, whatever baji’s willing to give, chifuyu wasn’t selfish, but if he can have baji, he’d have the world

“you like me huh?”

it was chifuyu’s turn to splutter, just how many times has baji made chifuyu flustered today? given that they’d only been together for a fucking hour

chifuyu couldn’t say anything, he couldn’t do anything, he didn’t know this conversation would go like this; he romanticize to cope, flowers in the air, maybe with the help of his friends, he even dreamed of confessing in his bed, just the two of them, controllers in hand, bellies full of soda and chips and just pure garbage and he would just admit

fuck was he that obvious?

finding the right words to say, he flounders, he had little time to rehearse being the one subjected to; he practiced this, baji didn’t have to say anything, chifuyu can do all the talking and he would just walk away, chifuyu didn’t need to know his answer, the dream and his rehearsal all alone in his mirror, in his bed, in his dreams- it only goes beyond the confession anything after that- chifuyu couldn’t even think about

with his mind in the gutter and his mouth blabbering like a fish trying to find the words to say, he didn’t notice baji walking forward up to him; he didn’t notice until there was only a breath of space them, between their faces

“chifuyu look at me”

the command made him jut his face toward him on instinct but his eyes can’t find the courage to look

the gentle hands coaxing him from the bike before cupped his face in a tender hold, leaving chifuyu no choice but to look, and once he did, he can’t look away, he’s been over this dilemma before, those eyes- chifuyu never learns

“thank you for joining me today,” baji whispered, his eyes boring the unheard into chifuyus’ own, it made him feel jittery, warm, and just whole

“yo-youre welcome, thank you too, really,” chifuyu whispered, the words felt so small while saying it, though it felt smaller hearing it, but baji heard, the way he smiled again was proof enough

chifuyu didn’t know what to do- he wanted to do so much, he wanted to be in his arms forever, and it scares him

chifuyu knows he shouldn’t let his thoughts stray around the boy because every passing thought just makes the boy closer and closer, and oh god chifuyu couldn’t distinct reality from his dreams, not from baji leaning in closer and closer, not from their faces just a whisper away, chifuyu couldn’t breathe

“you shouldve told me you guys were here, come in come in!”

fuck, his mom

it was almost comical, animated even the way they collapsed and fell apart, and suddenly there’s an acre between them, baji’s too far away

“you guys must be freezing out here, come on, i reheated your drinks they’re upstairs- baji dear, you’re free to stay the night if you want"

ushering them inside, chifuyu couldn’t speak, not with the butterflies or the entire ecosystem in his lungs trapping his breath and his words

“i’ll be heading to bed now, ok? turn the lights off for me honey, wake me up if you need anything alright?,"

chifuyu’s mom was the nicest parent baji has ever met, not much since his parents were below the fucking minimum, but he knew she was beyond average, and baji would always be thankful for her, for taking him in as his own, and of course, for chifuyu

but god does he just want her to go in her room and let baji kiss her son like there’s no tomorrow

chifuyu’s mom leaned down to kiss both of their foreheads goodnight and bid them both a good night’s rest

“y-you can just lay the mattress down you-you know where to find it right? you can go ahead ill just close it up here,” chifuyu spoke, whispered, the first for the two of them, it was so small, he sounded- vulnerable

baji didnt know where to look, embarrassment wasn’t foreign to him- but it was unwelcome, so he opted to look at chifuyu instead, it was hard for baji to look at chifuyu at times, but it was harder to look away, not with the way his hair dances across his face and the rose flutter on his cheeks that seemed permanent, everytime he looks, he finds more things that prevents him from turning away

baji can feel chifuyus’ nerves from where he stands and fuck, he aches for him, wants to do nothing else but press him back to his arms like before

but baji, just like chifuyu said, was an asshole, and so the boy walked up to him and sneaked an arm around his petite waist as chifuyu’s back is turned towards him

“i’ll be waiting,” baji leaned in to his ear making the other jump out of his skin, baji grinned devilishly, chifuyu knows, he can hear the grin in his words, he can feel it in the air, fucking asshole

and for nth time that day, chifuyu wonders of what death feels like, but chifuyu then concludes that death is this, trapped in iron cloaked arms, the smell of leather and pine, crooked lips, hair tickling his ears and canines in a smile

in the end its baji, it always was