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Better Then Funzo

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“Renée,” Lovelace said softly. “Don’t do this. Please. You can end this, just-- don’t. Please.”

 

“Sorry, Captain,” Minkowski said, “but I don’t have a choice.” She put down her plus four. “Blue.”

 

“That makes it,” Jacobi counted in his head, “eighteen cards to you, Lovelace.”

 

Lovelace scowled as she reached for the deck. “I hate you all.” she put down a blue five, glaring at the group.

 

Doug carefully set down a green five, glancing at the monitor Hera was using to make sure it was okay. She was the referee, despite insisting that she definitely wouldn’t cheat, no not even a little bit. Plus, she didn’t have hands.

 

Jacobi tossed down a green three, standing up to stretch. “I’m getting more m&m’s,” he announced, “be right back.”

 

As soon as he left the room, Lovelace lunged across the table, leafing through Jacobi’s cards.

 

“Isn’t that… cheating?” Doug asked, glancing at Hera’s screen.

 

“Well, yeah, but it’s Jacobi.” Hera said as Lovelace took his plus two, hiding it in the bottom of the deck. She quickly replaced it with the top card, which was something red.

 

Just as she returned to her seat, Jacobi walked in the room again, a big bag of candy in hand. “I wasn’t sure what you guys wanted, so I just brought the whole bag.”

 
“Pass me a snickers.” Minkowski said. She set down a green seven.

 

Lovelace continued with a green one, and Minkowski placed down a blue one, calling out, “Uno.”

 

Jacobi huffed, leafing through his cards. He frowned, and went through them again.

 

“Something wrong?” Lovelace asked.

 

“No. I could’ve sworn I had a…” he trailed off. “Nevermind,” he decided, placing down a red one.

 

Doug set down a red three, tentatively calling out, “Dos?”

 

“You don’t need to say that, it’s just when you get down to one.” Minkowski reminded.

 

“Right, yeah.” he nodded.

 

Minkowski drew a card, and placed down the red ten. “Uno.”

 

Lovelace slapped down a skip card, and Doug put down a red zero.

 

“Uno,” he said with confidence.

 

Minkowski placed down her green zero, and the game was over.

 

Jacobi threw down his cards.

 

“Hey,” Lovelace said, “At least it’s better then funzo.”