"I'm sorry." Sam held up a hand, raising an eyebrow at Steve. He did not just suggest that as an option. "Bucky? As in your childhood best friend you once told me was your gay awakening?"
"Yes, you two would get along. Plus, he's been wanting to move back to town, so he's going to need a low stress environment to chill at. You're chill and need a roommate, I don't see the problem." Steve was too nonchalant about all of this, shoulders shrugging and face neutral.
"Don't see the problem?" Sam couldn't help but repeat the sentence back to him. "The problem is he's going to hate me! I'm the one who broke up with his best friend! I'm the one you went crying to him about after!"
That didn't even seem to phase Steve, almost like he'd forgotten, or more likely didn't care, that they'd broken up six months ago. They did end up making up again a couple months later to keep their friendship alive, but still . "So? If I don't care about that, why should he?"
There was no winning this one with Steve, Sam knew this . Steve had to be able to see how this entire plan of his could go horribly wrong. "Because he's your best friend! He's gonna care!"
"You can't even think of a reason why he would care."
"It's just one of those things that best friends care about. They don't need a reason other than hey that guy hurt my friend."
Steve rolled his eyes. "I'm telling him I found a place for him to stay, and you're not gonna stop me." He pointed a finger at Sam, almost daring him to argue (Sam didn't), before clapping his back and walking away.
Great. Not only did he need a roommate at twenty six, the roommate was orchestrated by his ex-boyfriend and was going to be said ex's childhood friend. Perfect. This was just what he needed.
A few weeks later and Sam was moving into the apartment, a small two bedroom thing, still with no sign of Bucky— though Steve insisted Bucky would come and… as awkward as the living was going to be, it was better than getting someone off fucking Craigslist . Had a decent amount, basic furniture and his collection of records, books, all that and, of course, clothes.
Steve had offered to help move, but Sam had refused because dude you're out of breath walking up the stairs, you ain't hauling stuff to the room. He'd tried to argue with Sam, but with a pointed look Steve just huffed and reluctantly agreed to not move anything.
Another week after moving in passed before Bucky finally showed up, knocking on the door. Sam had answered, getting a very surprised look when Bucky got a look at him, seeing the other man standing there with simply a cat crate and duffle bag in his arm.
"You've got to be kidding me." Bucky huffed, eyes glaring at Sam and… yeah, okay, Sam was nervous. The guy was intimidating, could probably crush a skull with his hand if he really wanted to, so Sam had good reason to be.
"What do you mean, gotta be kidding me?" Sam repeated, copying the voice in an almost mocking sense. Bucky just raised an eyebrow in reply, and Sam had a sinking feeling that he knew what it meant. "Steve didn't tell you I was the person looking, did he?"
"Steve didn't tell me." Bucky agreed.
Of course he hadn't. Part of Sam felt some pride, because that meant Steve had known Sam was right about Bucky not being cool with Sam breaking up with him half a year ago even if they'd resolved their issues. Steve had known Bucky wouldn't be okay with the breakup that didn't really concern him, but didn't want to admit Sam was right, so he just forgot to mention the roommate he'd have to Bucky. Sam enjoyed being right, especially when it came to Steve and finding out that his ex knew he was right all along, too.
"Told him you wouldn't be cool with it." Sam knew he sounded a bit too smug, smiling to himself as he stood in the doorway.
"Oh, I'm fine with it. Not getting out that easy, Wilson." Bucky responded, eyes still boring into Sam's head. "Now are you gonna have some manners and help the man with one arm carry his shit in or what?"
A scoff came out in reply on Sam's end. "I'm sure you could handle two things." Noticed the cat carrier when he reached to grab one of Bucky's items. Hadn't agreed or been warned about a cat being in the deal, which he figured he should have been considering his slight allergy to them, but he'd survive. Figured it wouldn't be long until Bucky couldn't stand it anymore and moved out, then Sam really would have won, if Bucky got to the point of not being able to stand Sam enough to move out. That'd show Steve that best friends didn't need a reason to hate their friends ex.
Sam took the bag off the carrier, though and brought it inside. "You don't get a say in the room since you're a week or so late to moving in."
That got a grunt in reply from Bucky.
And, he'd be lying if he wasn't considering it a challenge to see how long it'd take to make Bucky move out, not that he'd admit it. But he was definitely going to start being extra annoying, and on the lookout for any friends or non sketchy people in need of a flat to move into, to see how much he could anger Bucky.
Probably wasn't going to be his arrest idea, but since when did Sam listen to that part of his logic brain?
No, he wasn't going to listen to it, he was just going to have a hell of a time trying to be the worst roommate possible.