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I'm too tired for this

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“Oh, great!” Katsuki exclaimed, looking at the bed in front of him. “Why the fuck d’you always have to stay in the middle?!” he asked, irritated.

“Because I like it” the Half’n Half bastard responded, without even opening his eyes. He was laying at the centre of the king-size bed, hands crossed on his stomach, and he was clearly tired. No sex this time.

Bakugou rolled his eyes: “Well, yeah, I kinda figured...” you craving bitch. Shouto could be a real prima-donna, sometimes: always looking for attention, even when he acted like he didn’t care.

“Doesn’t seem to bother you when we fuck” he pointed out, eyes still closed.

“Oh, shut up” Bakugou removed the wet towel around his waist and replaced it with his pyjama pants: he’d got out of Deku’s shower a few minutes before, and he was tired too. Both he and Shouto had patrolled the district all day and they’d been very happy to know that the shitty Nerd could house them for the night.

Katsuki was still making sure that his clothes were properly folded on the chair – he hated wrinkled shirts – when Todoroki’s voice reached him: “D’you really want Izuku to sleep in the middle?”

“Fuck no” he immediately responded, thinking about the last time they’d tried that arrangement.

It was insane the amount of times the shitty Nerd had to drink and pee every night, not to mention how much he liked to roll and cling onto the person laying next to him. Shouto didn’t mind the last part, he actually liked clingy-Midoriya, but Katsuki had always been pretty jealous of his personal space and he wasn’t a fan of cuddles. He’d never seen himself sleeping with another person, let alone two!

“Sorry guys, have you seen...” Izuku emerged from the bathroom, his toothbrush still in his mouth, and he froze when he saw what was going on in front of him. He and Bakugou looked at each other for a brief moment, studying the situation, then they claimed in unison: “Left!”
Izuku’s ‘left!’ came a second later than Bakugou’s: “Fuck you, Deku! You take the right” he grinned, throwing at him the towel that was dangling on his shoulder.

Izuku caught it by reflex and pouted: “Kacchan... that’s not fair! I still had the toothbrush in my...”

“It’s not my problem if you’re too slow, Nerd” Katsuki interrupted him, still grinning. I'm sorry, this time it’s your turn to freeze your ass off, he thought, putting his shirt on.

In the winter, they were used to quarrel over who had to sleep on the icy-side of IcyHot, and things didn’t change during summer: Katsuki hated cold and low temperatures from the bottom of his heart, but he too couldn’t stand Shouto’s heat in the middle of July. When he was asleep, the Half’n Half bastard wasn’t able to fully control the side-effects of his Quirk, so he and Izuku had to deal with it, one way or another.

“Could you please stop talking about me like I'm not even here and get in bed?! I wanna sleep” Todoroki finally opened his eyes and got up on his elbows to pierce them with his unpaired eyes.

“Oh, please, if you wanna sleep just turn your magic sleep-switch off and fucking sleep” Katsuki blurt out.

Shouto looked confused: “My magic-what?” he asked, slightly tilting his head.

Bakugou had just rested his ass on the mattress and had no intention of answering that question, so he waited for Deku to jump in: “The magic sleep-switch, you know... you can sleep pretty much everywhere and ...” he tried to explain, heading to the bathroom to finish brushing his teeth.

“You named my ability to power-nap?” Shouto glanced at Izuku until he disappeared into the other room, then he turned to Bakugou, who was rubbing his cheeks with moisturizer. He always did that before going to sleep and Shouto had always found it very funny: the tough guy and his precious skin-care routine.

“You don’t power-nap, you fall directly into a coma!” Bakugou replied, still massaging his cheeks.

“I just have a deep sleep” Shouto pointed out. It’s not like I’m Aizawa-sensei...

“Yeah, we know” Deku’s voice was coming from the distance and it sounded muffled, but Shouto didn’t miss the hint of amusement he’d put in that sentence.

“What d’you mean?” he was curious. He watched Izuku came out of the bathroom with a subtle smile, switching off the lights behind him: damn, how could he be so cute and sexy at the same time?
His dark-green curls were all ruffled, probably due to the steamy shower Katsuki had taken a few minutes before – he always felt the need to boil himself in water, it was crazy – and he looked so childish in his large pyjama... but Shouto was well aware of the ripped body that was hiding underneath. No, Shouto, you’re too tired for that, he reminded himself.

In the meantime, Bakugou had finished pampering his skin with creams and serums and had crawled beside him with a deep sigh: “For fuck’s sake, weren’t you the one who wanted to sleep? Sleep, then!” he said, stressing his exasperation with a snarl.

“No, now I wanna know” Shouto insisted.

Katsuki rolled his eyes and covered himself with the sheet: “Jeez...” he whispered. I don’t have time for this.

“Well, you’re... scary sometimes” Izuku recklessly tried to explain as he sat on the mattress, legs crossed towards the two guys. They were both clearly wrecked, but he had done nothing all day and he was still full of energies: he wasn’t simply ready to go to sleep, yet.
When they’d offered to join him for the night, he’d secretly hoped in one of their standard sex meetings – it had been a while since last time, due to pressing work schedules – but even if that wasn’t the case, he was still very happy to have them in his bed. He would’ve been glad even if they’d simply dropped by to say hi: he was always happy to see them and he cherished every night they spent together, sex or not.

“Scary?” Todoroki’s voice brought him back to reality and he suddenly realised that ‘scary’ wasn’t exactly the best way to call someone.
Anyways, he couldn’t help but smile thinking about how still Shouto could stay while sleeping.

“Yeah, I mean... no, not scary. It’s just that... sometimes it seems like you’re dead” he tried to recover, miserably failing. I'm the worst.

He glanced at Kacchan for support, immediately regretting it: “We could fuck with you in the bed and you wouldn’t even notice” he said, showing off his personal ability to speak when it wasn’t necessary.

Ok, maybe I’m not that bad, after all. Izuku mentally slapped him but he had to admit that the whole situation was pretty funny.

Shouto’s face was totally worth it: “You wouldn’t” the redhead stated, horrified.
Izuku knew what Kacchan was referring to, because more than once they’d found themselves looking at sleeping-Todoroki, wondering how to wake him up and uselessly teasing him: poking his face, picking his nose, tickling his sides or...

“Well, this one time...” Izuku started, innocently willing to share what he thought was a funny anecdote.

“WHAT!?” Todoroki turned to look at him, outraged.

“N-No, wait... I was saying that... I-I mean, this one time we tried to wake you up because we... w-well, you know, and... and you didn’t wake up so...”

“I kissed you and you didn’t even flinch, t’was like making out with a corpse” Katsuki impatiently added before Deku could finish his sentence, looking pretty self-satisfied. Izuku would have found a better way to say it, obviously, but that was pretty much it: that time he had made a joke about Shouto being like Sleeping Beauty and... well, that happened.

“You kissed me while I was asleep?” he asked Bakugou with shock and surprise.

Before Deku could open his mouth, Katsuki continued: “Yeah. Don’t worry, it won’t happen again, it was awful” he clarified, stretching his back and putting his hands behind his head, on the pillow. It’s definitely better when you’re awake, he thought.

“Well, fuck you” Shouto answered, pushing away one of the blonde’s elbows that was getting in his way.

Izuku was quick to rectify: “It’s not how it looks...”

“You didn’t stop him” Shouto reproached him. He knew Midoriya was way nastier than it looked, so he wasn’t actually surprised, but still...

“He kissed you, too.”

“Kacchan!” Ok, now Izuku wanted to kill him. He was enjoying himself a little too much.

“What!? What is wrong with you two?” Shouto asked, trying to hide his amusement. He wasn’t actually mad at them, of course: he was almost flattered by the thought of them cooperating to wake him up with kisses. Maybe Bakugou’s right, maybe I enjoy the attention a little too much.

“W-We were trying to wake you up! We didn’t do anything else, I swear!” Shouto held back a giggle: he loved stuttering-Midoriya. He was just precious, unlike Katsuki: “What’s the problem with us? You’re the one who turns into a fucking mummy!” Why does he always have to shout?

“I told you, I just have a deep sleep and when I'm really tired it gets even deeper” Am I seriously that weird? He was starting to feel awkwardly self-conscious: “You two are just envious because I can actually sleep and relax” he added, adjusting himself on the mattress.

“What? I can do that, too” Bakugou got immediately defensive and rolled on his side to catch the Half’n Half bastard’s eyes.
He was tossing him a very doubtful and sarcastic look: “Really? You fight even when you’re unconscious, Katsuki” Shouto told him, sounding exasperated.

“What the fuck d’you mean, IcyHot?!”

“Don’t even get me started...” he rolled his eyes and decided to close them again, ignoring Bakugou’s staring. I should be asleep by now.

“I can relax...” Izuku tried to say, finally getting under the sheets and resting his head on the pillow.

“You spend more time in the bathroom than in bed, Izuku” Shouto noted in a tired whisper.

“If we can’t relax, as you say, it’s because we have to sleep with a fucking broken radiator. Half boiler and half refrigerator... how d’you expect us to relax? So annoying...”

“Ok, that’s it. You wanna talk about ‘annoying’?!” this time Shouto was prepared to destroy them.

Who were they to make fun of his sleeping habits like that? He got up on his elbows and turned to Katsuki: “You always talk in your sleep, and when I say talk I mean scream. Seems like you can’t even think at a normal volume! Last week you almost gave me a heart attack...”

Katsuki frowned: “That’s not true, I don’t...”

Midoriya stopped him: “Well, I'm afraid that’s true, Kacchan. I don’t know what you dream at night but...”

“I was probably kicking your ass, dipshit!”

“Or pounding it, according to the sounds you were making” IcyHot provoked him.

“Hah!” Izuku cheered, bursting in a brief but strong laugh, supporting Shouto’s intervention.

“Oh, shut up! And fuck you, Deku!” Katsuki blushed and pouted his lips: he didn’t like when people made fun of him and the two bastards knew it pretty well, so they were taunting him on purpose. Fuckers. “You do that too, you know? Always mumbling, even in your sleep!” he added, lifting his head to look at the shitty Nerd, who was fucking giggling.

“Yeah, but at least he mumbles!” Shouto noted, then he turned his head towards Midoriya and smiled at him, “It’s kinda cute” he admitted, reaching one of his green locks and tucking it away from his forehead.

“Oh, please...” Bakugou had enough of that bullshit and he fell back on the pillow.

Why did Shouto always have to be so forgiving and indulgent when it came to Deku? Must be his fucking baby-face... and he had to admit to himself that Deku could actually be annoyingly cute, sometimes.

“Thanks” Izuku leaned forward to gently kiss Shouto on the lips and they both shuddered for a moment.
No, don’t fall for it, you need to sleep, Shouto reminded himself, trying not to think about Midoriya’s lips on his skin, his arms wrapped around him, his nails sinking into his back and shoulders.

No, he’s too tired, don’t be selfish
, Izuku thought, forcing himself to pull away without clinging to Shouto’s strong body and ask for more. He was about to add that Shouto’s deep-sleep state was also very cute, but Shouto was faster: “Wanna know what’s not that cute? When you Full-Cowl me out of the bed” he said, changing his tone and narrowing his eyes. Izuku frowned, confused.

Now it was Bakugou’s turn to laugh: “Oh God, that’s what happened?!” he asked, ignoring IcyHot’s intense glare. “No way! Why didn’t you tell me?” he continued, seriously cracking up.

“Here’s why” Shouto added, pointing his finger towards Bakugou’s amused expression.

Katsuki was laughing his ass off: since he was the shorter one, they’d initially assumed that Deku was perfect to sleep in the middle, but they’d quickly realised they were wrong. His apparent incontinence and his restless sleep were simply too much to bear: Bakugou had forgotten the number of times he’d been kicked or punched during their nights together, or how many times he’d waken up with him pressed against his body; apparently, Todoroki had got the worst a couple of weeks before.

They were sleeping and Katsuki had suddenly woke up to the sound of something hardly falling to the ground, and that something was Shouto: he’d tried to pass it off as a simple stumble while going to the bathroom, but Katsuki had never bought it. Now that he knew what had actually happened, everything made much more sense: Deku was probably having a nightmare and he’d just used his Quirk on him. Awesome. Why am I always asleep when stuff like this happens?!

“What?! W-When... why, I mean... I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry, I...” Izuku had no memory of any of that, of course, and it was pretty funny seeing his reaction.

“Doesn’t matter, the point is: stop making fun of me and stop complaining about my Quirk! You’re annoying as well but I don’t whine about it! Goodnight.”

“Yeah, yeah, ok mom. Can we please go to sleep now?!” Bakugou asked, on the verge of exasperation.

He was forcing himself not to think about the warmth of Shouto’s skin against his arm, the fruity scent of his shampoo, their legs brushing together under the sheets. I'm too tired for this.
He also didn’t wanna think of Deku in that fucking pyjama, quite surely without his underwear, as usual; he didn’t wanna think about how much he wanted to kiss them both. Fuck... maybe tomorrow.

“Yes, please” Shouto mumbled in a very faint voice.

Midoriya rolled towards him and smiled: “Ok, but we weren’t making fun of you, just so you know...” he was cute when he was tired; and he would’ve never said it out loud, because he cared for his life, but Kacchan was as well.

“He’s gone, Nerd” Kacchan’s voice sounded weak and tired. “I can’t believe it!” he whispered in disbelief.

And he was right, Todoroki was already asleep: he seemed happy and relaxed, his lips slightly parted and his doubled coloured hair scattered on the pillow. Shit, he’s beautiful.
Deku forced himself up to gain Katsuki’s attention: “Well, goodnight, I guess...” he said, biting his lips.

From where he was, Izuku could see Kacchan’s reddened cheeks and he could smell the sweet scent of his moisturizer. Katsuki’s body moved on his own: he stretched towards Deku to taste the minty flavour of his mouth, caressing his soft lips with his tongue.
It was unusual for Katsuki to be so gentle, but he liked it; maybe he liked it a little too much and Deku was clearly on the same page, looking at the starving expression on his face. Fuck, Nerd... don’t look at me like that.

“Tomorrow, Deku” he breathed on his mouth, and Izuku shivered. It sounded a lot like a promise and it was clearly meant to reassure him, but it only increased his excitement. Yeah, tomorrow.

They looked down at Shouto but his eyes were shut, so they exchanged an amused look and they both fell back on the mattress. Izuku couldn’t help himself from thinking Kacchan was being nicer than usual: it was strange but also very pleasant, and he discovered he was actually happy that they hadn’t fucked that night.

It was nice to simply have them in his bed, quarrelling and laughing at each other, snoring peacefully by his side; it felt like home.
“Goodnight” Bakugou finally said from the other side of the bed. Midoriya smiled and curled up against Shouto’s side: it was colder than any normal human body, yes, but Izuku found it comfortably warm.

Yeah, it was nice.