Work Header

Don't be lewd to the statues

Work Text:

„I wonder how big it is…”, Childe whispered to the statue, “I hope it’s big. I mean… you’re an adeptus, right? It has to be.” It was barely evening, but all the work was done for the day, so Childe was left alone with his horny thoughts. Nobody who knew the Harbinger would ever attribute shyness to him, but when it came to Zhongli and his true feelings towards him, he didn’t have the confidence to ever tell his friend about it. He tried to go on a stroll to forget about everything that had been swirling in his head since he met said man but came upon one of the many statues of Rex Lapis in Liyue.

He couldn’t help it, he was frustrated in more ways than one and had to let it out somehow, and since no one was around to witness him, he had climbed into the statue’s lap. “Sometimes when we go out for drinks, I can’t help but think about how tight your suit is around your waist…”, he knew that he was talking to a statue, but he thought it couldn’t hurt to pretend. “On some of those days I have to hold back to not just rip it off you…” He reached out for the statue's chest and ran his hand over the pecs down to the defined abs that had been carved in, pretending for the moment he was with the man he was fantasizing about. “I wonder if this is an accurate depiction of your body… Gods, I want you to just fucking rail me.”
Meanwhile sitting on the Pearl Gallery having tea with some of his friends is Zhongli, choking on his tea.


They sat together in Liuli Pavilion, having their usual meet-up over dinner and drinks. Childe had a close eye on Zhongli as always, admiring the man’s beauty. He felt kind of guilty now, for all the things he had said to the statue, thinking of them as embarrassing and desperate. Not to mention what he did on top of the statue, while thinking of his dear friend, who was now sitting opposite him. It didn’t help that this entire evening, he had been acting strange, more reserved than usual, like something was bugging him.

He was about to ask what was wrong when Zhongli spoke up. “We need to speak about something in private, if you have time after this dinner.”, he picked up his glass and took a sip while waiting for Childe’s answer, who looked back at him with a slightly confused look on his face. “I hope it’s nothing serious…”, he paused, wondering what the consultant could possibly want to talk about, “But yes, I have time.” Childe went back to fiddling with his chopsticks, trying his best to finish the rest of his meal, feeling anxious about the impending conversation he was about to have with his friend.

The walk to Zhongli’s apartment was an uncomfortable one, but thankfully not very long. Childe wasn’t surprised at how large and lavish it was, seeing as Zhongli had a special appreciation for the finer things in life, though he wondered who had paid for it. However, he wasn’t here for Zhongli to show off his abode to him, he reminded himself. The serious look on Zhongli’s face back at the dinner didn’t give him a good feeling about this. Still, he tried to play it off and turned to Zhongli with a cocky smile. “Is there any specific reason why you had led me into your home? I’m sure just looking a quiet alleyway would’ve sufficed for a priv-“ his sentence was cut short when soft lips pressed into his and he was shoved against the wall. His brain was struggling to comprehend what was going on, all he could muster was a look of surprise and bewilderment after the other man had pulled away and looked at him with intense, amber eyes.

“Don’t look so shocked, weren’t you the one who asked for this?”, Zhongli’s lips curled into a smile, but the man he had pinned against the wall only looked more shocked in return. “W-what?”, first he thought that Childe was just playing dumb but the genuine tone of confusion in his voice made it clear to him that he was not aware of what was happening. “You talked to one of my statues, didn’t you?”, at this Childe’s face twisted into a horrified expression and he blushed a deep red. “Even as an ex-archon I can still hear the prayers people speak to my statues.” Childe couldn’t help but bury his face in his hands out of shame, he wanted to sink into a hole in the ground, to disappear and hopefully never having to look into those amber eyes again, which were now looking at him with a hint of amusement.

“Ajax, there’s no need to be so embarrassed.”, Zhongli’s hands moved to the Childe’s which were shielding his face from the other’s gaze, “Look at me.” He grabbed gently onto them, trying to move them away, but he only earned a shove by the other man. This earned a small chuckle from Zhongli. “What? Don’t tell me you had been lying when told the statue you wanted to be… “railed”, as you put it.” “Did you only invite me here to make fun of me now?!”, the usually so confident and cocky harbinger was clearly embarrassed by all this and the teasing from Zhongli didn’t help his case. Said man’s expression now turned softer and moved closer again.

“Of course not. I asked you to come here so you could take responsibility for what you said. I had to leave a very enjoyable conversation, because of… everything I had heard that night.” Childe looked to the side, not being able to meet the other man’s gaze in the moment. “I’m sorry for that. How much mora do you want as compensation?”, he was still beet red in the face as he looked at Zhongli again. “There was never any mention of mora.” This earned Zhongli a confused look from Childe. He moved in even closer and pressed his body against the other man, pinning him to the wall once again. “What I want as compensation is for you to give yourself to me.”

Childe had always found Zhongli’s voice incredibly attractive but that single sentence made his brain short-circuit. Their lips met again, more passionately than before. Childe’s lips parted slightly, allowing Zhongli’s tongue to slip in. A hand slipped under Childe’s jacket, where it parted to show off some of his stomach, which made him gasp a little. Only now was he aware of what was about to happen, if it wasn’t just a cruel joke made by a man who was not exactly known for playing pranks. Said man pulled away and let both of them catch their breaths before leaning in, to Childe’s ear. “You know…”, he whispered and pressed a gentle kiss onto the man’s earlobe while his hands moved to open Childe’s jacket and unbutton the shirt beneath it.

“Even as an adeptus I’m not immune to… sexual desires.” Childe let his clothes fall down from his shoulders onto the floor, while Zhongli moved his head lower and peppered Childe’s neck with kisses until he reached one particular spot, where he gently bit and sucked on the skin, leaving behind a mark. He lifted his head back up and smirked in a way Childe had never seen him do before and it made his breath halt. One hand gently grasped one of his and he was led away, into the bedroom.

Zhongli closed the door behind them and started taking his own coat off. “You may free yourself of your pants.”, he smiled at Childe who didn’t need to be told twice. Childe took off his boots and then stepped out of his pants, throwing them onto a nearby chair, meanwhile his partner seemed to calmly fold his clothing, putting them into a neat pile on his dresser. Wondering if he may have come off as too enthusiastic, he suddenly felt very self-conscious, standing butt-naked in front of his dear friend, who looked over at him, smiling lustfully at what he saw. In the middle of unbuttoning his own pants, he seemingly changed his mind and started walking over to Childe, pushing him down to sit on the bed. “I think it’ll be more enjoyable if you get to unpack my gift for you tonight.”, leaving his hands on Childe’s shoulders he pushed his crotch forward, looking down at the redhead with a heated look that he had never shown him before.

Taking a moment to look up at Zhongli and taking in his topless body, which was everything the statues promised and more, he started unbuttoning his pants and slid them down Zhongli’s thighs. This was all so unexpected, it was making him nervous, even though he always welcomed spontaneous surprises. He hesitated a bit, looking back up at Zhongli’s face, his eyes reflected his arousal but the smile he wore was gentle and patient. With newfound confidence Childe pulled down the other man’s underwear, only to be faced with uncertainty yet again. He wasn’t new to sleeping with men, but the cock he was faced with now, was bigger than anything he’d dealt with until now. He had fantasised about how big Zhongli’s dick might be, but now that his fantasies have come true and it’s right in front of his face, he feels a new nervousness crawl up his spine.

A low chuckle coming from above him brought him back to reality and a hand was laid on his head, running through his hair. “I would’ve never assumed you to be this shy.”, his voice was gentle and reassuring, but it lit a fire in Childe. He gave Zhongli a confident smile before leaning his head forward and running his tongue over the length of his member. At the sensation Zhongli held his breath, sighing softly when Childe finally took it into his mouth. He started bobbing his head back and forth, not taking him fully yet. Zhongli continued to softly pet his hair. “You’re doing so good.”, he hummed, his voice sounding slightly hoarse.

Childe’s hands moved up and grabbed Zhongli’s hips, holding onto them as he went deeper, deepthroating him, which earned him a slight moan from the man above him. With the dick now in his mouth, he was able to let go of all the uncertainty he had before. It was happening and it wasn’t just a joke. Yet before he could truly get lost in the soft moans and sighs he coaxed out of Zhongli’s mouth, a hand squeezed his shoulder lightly and he was pushed off. Zhongli looked down at him, his face flushed and passion in his eyes. Gently he was pushed back onto the mattress. “Such a good boy.”, Zhongli’s voice was low and husky as he pushed Childe up, higher onto the bed and crawled after him. Reaching over he opened the bedside drawer and pulled out a small vial of oil. He poured a generous amount of it on his fingers and looked back at Childe with a half-lidded smile, who spread his legs and nodded.

Childe felt a shiver run down his spine when an oily finger brushed his hole. It rubbed gently over it several times, before the finger finally sank in. A quiet gasp escaped his lips when the finger started moving. Another hand moved up towards his body and slid over his abs, up to his pecs, where it started playing with one of his nipples, making him bite his lip to stop from making another sound. And amused hum came from Zhongli, who was smiling fondly at him. “I’ve always thought you’d be cute like this, spreading your legs for me on top of my bed.” A second finger entered his hole and Childe unintentionally let out a needy moan. He looked at Zhongli with wide eyes as he blushed. What did he mean, always? Before he could drift off with his thoughts, the fingers which were still moving inside him curled up and hit an incredibly sensitive spot, making him groan with pleasure.

“Ah…”, sounding pleased with himself, Zhongli smiled at the fact he had just found his prostate and massaged the sensitive area. He added a third finger to spread Childe even further and leaned forward, licking Childe’s other nipple, latching onto it and playing with it inside his mouth. Softly biting into it won him an exceptionally slutty moan from Childe and he let go and sat up again, spreading his fingers and testing the stretch. “I’m ready, Xiansheng.” Childe was slightly out of breath already, but he was more ready than for anything else in his life before. A rare mischievous smile came across Zhongli’s face as he pulled his fingers out. “Are you?” There was a small pause as they looked at each other, Childe blushed and nodded his head. “Yes, please. I- I need it.” “Then I shall oblige.”, satisfied with his answer Zhongli dribbled some more of the oil onto his dick and lined the head up with Childe’s hole.

Biting his lip, he whimpered softly as Zhongli’s hard member breached the entrance and slowly pushed in until their hips were pressed together. Zhongli waited a moment to let him adjust and leaned forward to press a gentle kiss on Childe’s cheek. “I love you.”, his voice came out barely a whisper but clearly enough for Childe to hear, but before he could react Zhongli began moving and suddenly every coherent thought he could’ve formed dissolved into nothingness. Zhongli began at a languid pace, letting him fully enjoy the feeling of being stretched by his thick cock. This is everything he ever wanted, ever since he met Zhongli, and way more than he expected. The moan that escaped Childe’s throat was captured by Zhongli’s mouth as he pressed his lips onto Childe’s. Childe had to hold onto the bedsheets as Zhongli picked up the pace, struggling to catch his breath between passionate kisses.

Suddenly he pulled away and sat back upright, pulling Childe’s thighs up, causing him to thrust deeper, and hitting his sweet spot. “Zhongli, I’m-!” A loud groan of pleasure interrupted him. “You’re close?”, Zhongli slowed down again and Childe looked at him in desperation. “Do you want to cum?” “Y-yes, please. I need to.”, Childe pleaded, to which the pace picked up again, faster than before, almost too much to take. Gripping the bedsheets, he thought he would break but before long spurts of white covered his stomach as he screamed. Not long after, Zhongli followed him and came in him with a grunt.

The two looked at each other, still catching their breaths, then Zhongli pulled out, watching as cum trickled from Childe’s hole and chuckling lightly. “Proud of yourself?” Childe pouted at him and Zhongli bent down to give him a kiss. “Of course. Now you won’t feel the need to talk dirty to my statues anymore.” Being reminded of why he was in this situation in the first place, Childe blushed hard and turned his head to the side, refusing to make eye contact. “Now, let’s get you cleaned up, shall we? We’re not going to go to sleep dirty.” Zhongli’s smile was soft and loving and Childe felt this wasn’t the only one of their nights to be spent together like this.