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In love with a five year old detective

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It was a day as all others at the Brooklyn 99 Precinct: Jake and Amy were busy trying to arrest as many criminals as possible for their stupid bet, Charles was once again bothering Rosa with his unending knowledge of food facts, Hitchcock and Scully were doing gross businesses at their desks and Gina was doing...nothing.

"Gin, the cases in the evidence room are ordered from 'so hot I would definitely fuck him' to 'I'd rather eat my own poo than look at him again' and I have a feeling it was you," I said and looked up from the file I had been examining. "Uh, yeah, of course it was me. I'm the only one between you losers with a good taste in men," she replied, to which I rolled my eyes.

I walked away from her desk and headed for the evidence room. As I entered, Jake, who was lying on the ground, lifted his head up to look at me. "Oh, hey Y/N," he said in that cheery voice of him. "Hello, Jake. What are you doing on the floor?" "I'm not allowed to go outside, so Captain Holt told me to stay here." I walked over to one of the drawers and started to rummage through it.

"Why can't you go outside?" "I was after this one guy but then the Vulture," he didn't have to say anything more for me to understand, "came and took over the case." I shook my head as I took out the file I needed and replaced it with another one. "That bastard," I muttered under my breath. "Yes, he is, and I can't wait to pluck out his feathers one by one." A murderous tone had entered his voice and made me slightly worried. "Well, if there is anything I can do for you, just let me know." I turned around to find him standing right behind me.

"Actually, there is. You could always tell Captain Holt how amazing I am?" He took a step closer so our bodies were almost touching and I could feel his breath against my lips. Not trusting my voice I nodded in response. "Uh, yeah, sure. I'll see what I can do." He brightly smiled before taking a step backwards. "You're the best, Y/N." I returned the smile and walked past him. "I know, Peralta. Just so you know, you owe me one," I said and left the evidence room. As I made my way over to the captain's office, I tried to get rid of the shaky feeling in my legs after my encounter with Jake.

I had a little crush on him for a while now, but never found the courage to let him know, or tell it to anyone else of my friends. Just when I was about to open the door to the office, it already opened and revealed my boss, Captain Raymond Holt. "Carter, I was just looking for you," he said before offering me the chance to greet him. "What a coincidence, I was looking for you as well." He stepped aside, signaling without words I had to enter the office.

"I have a murder case for you, Carter," he said as he took a seat at his desk. "Always interesting." "You will be working with Diaz and Santiago. All the details are in the file," he said and handed over a file. "Actually, I would like to work with Peralta on this case." Holt raised his eyebrows so I quickly explained why. "Well, he is one of the best detectives, and it would be a waste of his qualities if you locked him up inside. Besides, the longer he stays inside, the more time he has to think of a plan to take revenge on the Vulture for stealing his case."

Holt considered my words for a moment before nodding. "Alright, but I expect you to keep an eye on him. If anything goes wrong, it's your fault." I nodded and got up. "Thank you, captain," I said and opened the door of the office, only to be frightened to death when I almost tripped over Jake on the ground. "Jesus Christ, Jake, what the hell are you doing on the ground? Again?" He quickly jumped to his feet.

"I don't believe in Jesus, Carter, and you should know by now. As for your question, I was most certainly not eavesdropping," he said with a wink that looked more like he had something in his eye. "Don't ever do that again. Oh, and you're coming with me," I said and walked past him to grab my NYPD jacket, my gun and my keys. "YES!" he yelled and started to do a victory dance.

"Peralta, I expect you to not mess up this case." Holt's words made him freeze on the spot and he turned to face the captain with the sweetest smile on his face. "You can count on me, cap." Jake and I left the building and got into my car. "You're the best, Y/N. Have I said that before?" "You have, Jake. If you dare to screw this up, you're dead." He nodded like an obedient toddler followed by a salute. "Yes, sir." A smirk tugged at the corner of my lips; he always knew how to make me smile.

"So, what's the case about?" he asked to which I replied with a shrug. "I don't know, haven't had time to look into the file yet. It's on the backseat, I think." He unfastened his seatbelt and climbed out of his seat to the back, his legs kicking to all the sides and almost hitting my head. "Watch out, dumbass," I scolded when I almost bumped into the car in front of me. "Sorry," he muttered as he climbed back to the front seat.

"Alright, let's have a look at this, shall we?" His eyes darted over the text. "And?" I asked, eyes focused on the road. "Man got killed right before the honeymoon with his fiancé. No signs of violence found. Looks like a natural death, but his fiancé thinks someone killed him." "How about we go see the coroner first?" I suggested and he nodded his head in agreement. It was silent for a moment until I decided to ask him a question.

"Why do you want to take Santiago on a date if you win the bet?" He replied with a shrug of his shoulders. "I don't know. It seemed funny at the time." My heart slightly fluttered with hope at his words. "So...you don't...like like her?" I was anxious for his answer and a second later my fear was being confirmed. "N-Noooooo, I don't like her that way. Maybe?" I nodded and tried not to show my emotions on the outside. I didn't say anything anymore for the rest of the car ride, lost in thoughts.

I almost drove past the morgue if it weren't for Jake calling out my name. "Are you okay? You look absent," he said as soon as we got out of the car. I forced a smile on my face and responded, "I'm fine, Jake. Just thinking." We entered the morgue, Jake opening the door for me like a real gentleman, and made our way to the back, where the coroner usually could be found. "Jimmy?" Jake yelled, making me roll my eyes. He had the habit of calling the coroner Jimmy, whilst his real name was Elijah. Why, I did not have single clue about. "Jimmy?" he yelled again, earning a punch from me.

"Hey, what was that for?" he asked offended. "Stop calling him Jimmy." "Why would I?" I was about to enter when the door at the end of the hallway opened and Elijah stepped out. "Ah, detective Carter." "Elijah," I greeted back with a small smile. He then looked at Jake with a somewhat disapproving look. "Peralta." Jake stiffly nodded back in response. Typical men to just nod at each other.

"So, what you got for us?" I asked and Elijah motioned for us to follow him to the room. On the table lay the corpse of the fiancé, everything but his face covered with a white sheet. His face was lifeless, the color drained from it. "At first, it looked like a natural death. There were no signs of violence, so I did a few blood tests and came across something very interesting." He walked over to a table filled with files and picks up one of them.

"There were traces of wolfsbane found in his blood." Almost immediately after Elijah's words, Jake made a horrible, loud, howling sound. "What the heck, Jake?" He started to act as if he had claws and started to claw at me. "Rawrrrrrr. I'm a werewolf," he growled in a low voice. I shot him a death glare and he stopped his act. "Not funny?" I shook my head before returning my attention back to Elijah. "I'm sorry for that. Please, continue." "Alright. So, as I said, I found traces of wolfsbane in his blood. The plant is known for its deadly poison, so his fiancé was right: he was murdered."

Next to me Jake loudly clapped his hands together. "Alright, let's go look for this werewolf hater." I shook my head in disbelief. Jake was such a child, but then again, maybe that was the reason I liked him so much: his playfulness. "Thank you for your time, Elijah. Jake, let's go." I left the room, a werewolf imitating Jake right behind me. Once we were in the car I smacked his head.

"What is it with you punching me, Y/N?" "You're being a dick, Jake. If you screw this up, I'm coming after you." He put his hands up in defense. "Y/N, you know me. I never screw things up." Knowing better than that I raised my brows. "You sure about that? Remember that one case when you attacked our suspect because his favorite song wasn't one of Eminem's?"

"Just admit it you wanted to beat him as well," he argued back. I didn't want to but he had a point. "Okay, you're right, but still, you screwed up the case." "But I did it in style!" This guy. "Just don't screw this up, please, because Holt will hold me responsible if it goes wrong." "Alright, alright."

As I drove to the crime scene, Jake started to play with the radio. "Jake, quit the playing," I said but he didn't listen. "Why don't you have any good CDs?" he asked as he took out my The Notorious B.I.G., Life after death CD. I was about to say the album was a masterpiece when he opened the window and threw the CD out.

"What the fuck, Jake?!" I yelled, beyond pissed. "Oh, you still wanted that CD?" "Yes of course I still want it! Have you gone mad?" He shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe." I couldn't believe him. "Aren't you going to apologize? You just threw my favorite CD out of the freaking window!" "Do I have to?" The nerve this man had. I pulled over on the side of the road and unlocked the car.

"Out of the car." His brows furrowed in confusion. "What? Why?" "That CD was a gift from my dad, Peralta, and you don't even bother to apologize. Maybe your thoughts clear up with a walk to the crime scene." "Oh, you want me to say sorry? Well, in that case-," "Get. Out." Finally he seemed to notice I was serious about this and got out of the car, mumbling 'I'll just grab a cab' before closing the door.

At full speed I left the side of the road. It wasn't just because of the CD I wanted him out of the car; I couldn't stand physically being with him in one small space knowing he didn't like me the way I liked him. I arrived at the crime scene, a villa in a chic neighborhood. Not so shortly after me, when I had just locked the car, a taxi stopped in front of the house and Jake got out of it.

I ignored him as I made my way under the police ribbon and to the open front doors, police officers and forensic investigators walking in and out of the house. Right after I entered the house, a young male police officer walked over to me. "Detective Carter, I'm Chase Campbell." He held out a file, which I accepted with a quick 'Thanks'. "These are the details of the expenses the victim's fiancé has used her credit card for in the last month."

"Thank you, Officer Campbell." I left him standing there alone and made my way up the stairs towards the victim's bedroom. I heard loud footsteps behind me, indicating Jake was following me upstairs. "Y/N, wait a second," he said and briefly stopped at the top of the staircase, panting heavily and trying to catch his breath.

I stopped in the middle of the hallway and turned to face him. He caught up with me, still panting from coming up the stairs. "Yes?" "I'm sorry," he apologized, and he sounded sincere. My hard expression instantly softened; how could I be mad at him? "I'd like to say it's okay, but it's not really okay." He let out a defeated sigh. "I know. But I will make it up to you. That's a pinky promise," he said and held out his right pink.

I shook my head, smiling by myself, yet I none the less held out my own pink and made them collide in a weird swirl. "I'll keep you to that promise, Peralta." "Great. Now, am I allowed to help you with this case, your highness?" he asked with a little bow. "But of course you are, peasant." "Ha. That's a joke right?" he asked but I replied with a grimace. "Not really."

Together we entered the bedroom of the victim, looking for traces of wolfsbane. Whilst Jake checked the bedroom, I went for the adjoining bathroom. I scanned the whole room, yet I didn't found anything useful. Slightly irritated, I returned to Jake. "And, found anything interesting?" I asked Jake, but he shook his head. "Nothing."

I grabbed the file from where I had placed it on the drawer and decided I would look into it later. The two of us left the house and went back to the 99 Precinct. The first person to greet us was Captain Holt. "Martinez, Peralta. Any success in the case?" he asked, to which we both shook our head. "But," Jake chimed in, "we're very close at discovering something. Don't worry, captain, it's only a matter of time before we catch the murderer."

Not looking very convinced, Captain Holt turned on his heels and returned to his office. "You shouldn't lie, Jake. It doesn't suit you," I commented as I sat down at my desk, opposite of Jake's desk. "What do you mean 'It doesn't suit you'?" "It means exactly that: that lying doesn't suit you." And I could already feel a bet coming.

"I can lie as the best. In fact, I'm the king of liars." Right after that he loudly gasped. "Oooooooooh, I feel a bet coming. Do you feel it too?" he asked and I nodded. "I can feel it too, Jake, I can feel it too. Terms?" "The first one to make Boyle believe they have an STD wins," he said, making me scoff. "Too easy. Boyle believes everything we say. I prefer a challenge."

"Confident. I like that. Alright, first one to make Captain Holt believe they have an STD wins." "Reward?" He thought for a moment before responding. "If I win, you will be my peasant for one day, and if you win, I will be your peasant for a day. Deal?" he asked and extended his hand, which I firmly grabbed and shook.

"Deal."