Actions

Work Header

Jin's Little Secret

Work Text:

Jin could hardly keep his hands from shaking as he climbed into his car, buckled himself in, and put the keys into the ignition. After a twelve-hour workday, he was finally heading home to his boyfriends.

He wished he could stay at work instead.

‘We need to talk.’

Jin had turned his phone off earlier this morning after getting to work. He’d of course sent his boyfriends a text to let them know that he’d made it safely, but after that, he’d turned his phone off in case any of them chose to text him throughout the day as they usually did. He was forced to turn it back on when it was time for him to leave the Hybe building, though, and upon checking it before getting into the car, he’d seen a plethora of mixed text messages.

Most of them were the usual, ‘I love you’s, ‘How’s your day going, baby’s, and ‘We miss you’s that they always sent to each other whenever they were apart, but the final text message had come hours after all the rest that had gone ignored--which wasn’t usual at all because Jin always answered their texts. Or at least, it didn’t use to be the usual, but nowadays it was. Nowadays, Jin was hardly giving any of his boyfriends the time of day. Which is why the final text that he’d received had come from Yoongi.

‘We need to talk.’

Nobody in a relationship ever liked to hear that phrase. It usually meant an impending breakup or something else just as horrible. Jin knew that wasn’t what this was about, but he almost wished that it was. It’s not that he wanted to break up with his boyfriends, it’s just that he’d prefer that to be the kind of talk that they needed to have rather than the talk that he knew they were actually going to have.

Jin sighed as he slowly put his foot on the gas, pulling out of the Hybe parking lot, breaking out into a cold sweat as he did. He felt lightheaded, his heart pounding loudly in his chest. He could hardly catch his breath and it felt as if there was a thousand-pound weight right on top of his chest.

For the past few weeks, he’d been avoiding his boyfriends like the plague. He had been distancing himself from them, refusing to spend time with them anymore. He opted to go to work on days when he knew the rest of his boyfriends were off. Even when they were all supposed to be off, he chose to go in anyway. When he wasn’t working, he was out ‘grocery shopping’ despite usually having an already fully stocked kitchen, or ‘hanging out with friends’ despite the fact that all of his friends had been busy with their own lives lately and he hadn’t had time to hang out with any of them, or ‘having some alone time, sightseeing’ but the only sight he ever saw was the busy parking lot of whichever mall he chose to park in front of for a few hours as he tried to pass the time, waiting until he knew his boyfriends were fast asleep in bed before going home.

The fact that he was doing everything that he could possibly do to distance himself from his boyfriends didn’t go unnoticed by them. Especially since three of his boyfriends happened to be littles who were very much used to having their dada Jinnie around.

Taehyung, Jimin, and Hobi had all been slipping into little space pretty frequently as of late, all stressed with how busy things had been at work. There were a billion different things going on at work right now. Comeback season was quickly approaching and there were deadlines that needed to be met in terms of music. They were all trying to finish everything that needed to be finished in time. Hoseok had been working extremely hard with perfecting the choreography for all of their new songs, along with trying to teach them all as well. Jimin had been attending more meetings than he could count, and having to keep up with all the important notes from said meetings. Taehyung had been working on visuals, perfecting their concepts, and attending tons of meetings of his own as he was.

They’d all been super busy lately, so they’d all been pretty stressed. Whenever they finally got the time to rest, they all slipped into little space almost immediately. Which was great for them because it allowed them to just forget about all the stress that they were dealing with. It was great for their daddies too because taking care of their little babies was a great stress reliever for them as well. At least for Yoongi, Namjoon, and Jungkook.

It used to be a great stress reliever for Jin too, but lately, it had only been causing him even more stress.

He loved his babies. He really did.

He loved getting to be their dada. Their caregiver. He loved spending time with them. He loved getting to play with them after a long day of work. He loved getting to watching Disney movies with them all day or color pretty pictures with them. He loved getting to feed them their favorite meals--chicken nuggets and mac and cheese, or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with a glass of milk, or fish sticks and ketchup!--and then give them their baths afterward. Watching them play with their rubber duckies along with their other bath toys as he scrubbed them clean after a long day of playing and messy eating. Then getting to get them all dry and put them into warm, comfortable pajamas.

He loved getting to hold them close as it grew dark outside and read them bedtime stories until they were all knocked out. Having to attempt to somehow manage to maneuver himself off the bed without disturbing any of them as they slept--only for one of them to wake up and grumble sleepily, clinging to him to keep him from going anywhere. Then he’d be forced to spend the night sleeping on a cramped and overpacked bed, completely smothered as the two boys closest to him laid nearly on top of him, several limbs digging into his ribs, his back, even laying across his face.

He loved it.

But lately, he had been trying to stay away from his three boyfriends when they were little--which was near-constantly, any time they were home. He’d been trying not to make it obvious that he was avoiding them but it was nearly impossible to hide the fact that he was, and it’s not like the lack of his usual presence could go unnoticed.

Jin was usually the first out of all of their caregivers to go running to them once he knew that they were little. They were so used to him being around them, constantly taking care of them and catering to their any and every need, so it’s not like Jin could be discreet about the lack of time that he was spending with them now.

He felt so guilty. He hadn’t given any of them the chance to talk to him about it, but he knew that they’d noticed it, and he knew that it hurt them. He’d seen the way the littles reacted to their other boyfriends not being available to spend time with them for short periods of time. If all of their dadas weren’t there with them, they tended to get very upset, and God forbid one of their dadas couldn’t be with them for an entire day or two. They were inconsolable if they had to go so long without their dadas, so Jin couldn’t imagine how heartbroken they must’ve been lately, never getting to see Jin when they were little over the past few weeks.

He knew that it must’ve been hard for Namjoon, Yoongi, and Jungkook to take care of them all by themselves. Trying to explain dada Jinnie’s whereabouts, trying to explain why he was never there when they were little anymore. Jin felt awful for putting that on his boyfriends. He felt like a horrible person for abandoning his babies and allowing his other boyfriends to deal with all his responsibilities for him.

He was a terrible fucking boyfriend, wasn’t he?

He felt so awful and so guilty for the way he’d been behaving lately--avoiding them like some child would instead of talking to them about his feelings like a grown adult should--but he just...He couldn’t tell them what was going on with him. He couldn’t tell them how he’d been feeling. It was stupid.

It’s just that things had been stressful lately. A lot had been going on and he’d been feeling really overwhelmed as of late. Usually, he could handle it, but recently he’d been struggling to deal with all the pressure, all the long hours of work, all the different responsibilities that fell on his shoulders. Having to make sure that everything was perfect--having to be perfect. Having to be ‘on’ all the time, having to be professional, having to be ‘in charge’. He’d had a billion staff members coming to him and asking him questions lately.

‘Should we schedule this V-live for next week or this week?’

‘When would you like to do this interview? You pick the time, we’ll set it up.’

‘Have you decided which concept you wanted to go with for this photoshoot? It’s whichever one you want.’

The questions were simple but there were so many of them. So many decisions that he had to make constantly. He was tired of having to make decisions. He was tired of being in charge. It was all just getting to be too much.

He didn’t mean to do it.

It just happened one day.

It was another busy day and things were just too much for him so he’d slipped into his office, hoping to get a few minutes of peace and quiet. He’d walked in, closed and locked the door behind him, and then slumped onto his couch, absolutely exhausted despite the fact that it’d only been ten o’clock in the morning.

He’d felt pretty much the same way he felt now. Lightheaded, heart pounding in his chest, hands shaking—whole body shaking—breaking out into a cold sweat as his eyes darted around quickly. He knew it was probably an anxiety attack but tried to tell himself that it wasn’t. He was just overreacting, he was fine.

He felt like he couldn’t breathe. Like the air around him was slowly smothering him. He legitimately felt like he was going to die, but he told himself that he was just fine.

He’d leaned back against the couch, trying to breathe slowly, in and out and in and out. He tried counting down from a hundred in his head. He tried to do a little meditation. Nothing was working.

He still felt as if he was being smothered, he still couldn’t breathe properly, and now, he couldn’t stop the frustrated and scared tears from dripping down his face. He hadn’t wanted to bother any of his boyfriends since they’d been busy with their own work at the time, and he didn’t want anyone else to see him like this when he was supposed to be the one who was always well put together. He didn’t want anyone seeing him when he wasn’t his usual calm, cool, and collected self.

He really hadn’t known what to do at that moment. He’d decided to just lay down and wait for himself to calm down a bit.

It was when he laid down and curled up on his side that he caught sight of a small, white and beige color hamster stuffie that he’d never paid much attention to in the past.

The littles had a few things strewn around in all of their offices and studios here and there. Stuffies, sippy cups, pacis, toys. They rarely slipped while they were at work for obvious reasons, but just in case one of them ever ended up slipping, their daddies liked to have things there for them to keep them satisfied until they could be back in the comfort of their own home.

Jin usually hardly even noticed the little items that he kept in his office, but suddenly, his eyes were glued to the cute little stuffed animal that was lying just a few inches away from his feet.

Without much thought about it, he grabbed the little hamster and laid down again, curling up once again and sniffling quietly as he squeezed it as closely to him as he possibly could.

It was soft. Really soft. The fur felt great underneath his fingertips and he loved the feeling of it. He stroked it slowly, rhythmically, with just the tips of two of his fingers. Soon enough, he was rubbing his face against the soft fur, letting out a small laugh as it tickled his chin. He rubbed his lips against it, more giggles escaping him as he did.

Soon, he was absent-mindedly stroking the stuffie, nibbling on one of its small ears and drooling all over it. Something he’d gently scold one of the littles for if they’d been the ones doing it instead. They all had a habit of doing that, especially Hobi, but it was obviously unsanitary. No matter how many times they got scolded for it, though, they could never seem to resist the urge to do it. Jin was starting to understand why now. It was very calming, and having something to chew on was really nice.

Jin hadn’t even noticed that he’d calmed down. He no longer felt as if he was being smothered. He was no longer struggling to breathe. He was no longer crying. Instead, he was giggling occasionally, feeling light and as if nothing had even happened. He legitimately couldn’t remember why he’d been so upset in the first place.

He thought that he’d been lying there for maybe five or ten minutes at the most. He’d just been staring at the wall, holding the stuffie the whole time that he’d been lying there. He couldn’t have been doing that for too long, could he?

But apparently, he had.

He didn’t get off the couch until he heard a knock on the door, one of his boyfriends calling for him.

“Hyung? You alright in there? I was talking to some of the staff and they said they haven’t seen you for the last four hours.” It was Yoongi’s voice.

Jin had looked at the time on the clock that was hanging on his wall and gasped as he realized that the man was right. While he hadn’t been sure exactly when he’d come into his office, it was obvious that quite some time had passed.

He couldn’t understand how on Earth he’d managed to lay there for four entire hours without even realizing it.

“I’m ‘kay…” He’d called, eyes widening as he realized that he sounded different. Why did he sound different?

“We’re gonna head home in about an hour, okay?” Yoongi had told him. Jin nodded, squeezing his eyes shut as he realized that Yoongi couldn’t see him.

“‘Kay!” He’d called again, once again confused why he sounded so different.

He hadn’t figured it out until later that night when he was lying alone in his bed thinking about the strange day that he’d had. It took a long time but he finally came to the conclusion that he’d slipped...Into little space...Which is something that he’d never done before.

He tried to brush it off. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe it wasn’t what he thought it was. Maybe he hadn’t really slipped. Maybe it had been something else. He’d probably just zoned out. Maybe he’d just been in a state somewhere between consciousness and unconsciousness. That could explain things, couldn’t it?

He managed to excuse the first time. He’d convinced himself that he hadn’t really slipped and that he’d just been tired and half-asleep or something. But he couldn’t just explain away all the times that followed.

When Taehyung was playing with his favorite little boat in the bathtub and Jin had been staring at it longingly, wishing that he could do the same. Then later that night, he’d felt all fuzzy and small once again, the same way he had that day at work. He’d laid in his bed that night, hugging the stuffie that he’d taken from work close to his chest, once again nibbling on its ear.

When Hobi asked him to color with him one day and Jin had been more interested in the activity than Hobi himself had been. He’d gotten so invested in coloring his pretty picture, his mind completely empty as he scribbled on the page. In his mind, it was the prettiest coloring in the entire world, and he’d had the overwhelming urge to run and show Namjoon and Yoongi and Jungkook what he’d done when he’d finished. He’d just managed to stop himself from doing so, though, suddenly realizing that that wasn’t something he usually thought about doing.

When Jimin had asked him to play with his building blocks with him, and Jin had been even more excited about playing with them than Jimin had. When he’d giggled and clapped all too eagerly along with Jimin when they’d finished building their building, and when tears had sprung to his eyes before he even knew what was happening when Jimin had playfully knocked it down. When Jin had tried to excuse himself to go and collect himself in the bathroom, he hadn’t even been able to. He couldn’t walk straight, he just kept waddling around just like how the littles did when they were feeling extra small.

He could no longer make up excuses for what was happening. He knew what was happening. He was slipping. And it was starting to happen more and more frequently, especially when he was around the other littles.

He was terrified.

This was bad.

He couldn’t be a little! He was the hyung, he was supposed to be the one taking care of the littles!

As the eldest, it was his responsibility to care for his boyfriends and see to their needs, not the other way around. He couldn’t afford to slip into little space when he needed to be mentally present for them at all times. It was his job to take care of them all. If they were stressed, sick, tired, sad, mad, whatever. How was he supposed to make sure that they were alright if he was in little space? He could barely even remember simple things like how to tell time or not to chew on the ear of a dirty stuffed animal when he was feeling little, how on Earth would he be able to tend to his boyfriends’ needs in that headspace?

Besides, him being a little would just be plain weird, wouldn’t it?

Taehyung, Jimin, and Hobi were absolutely fucking adorable when they were in little space. They were all a bunch of sweethearts, all bright smiles and loud giggles that made everyone’s hearts fill with joy. They were the cutest little babies in the entire world.

Jimin and Hobi were a bit shorter with petite frames which made them adorable, not to mention easy to handle when they were little. If they needed to be picked up and carried somewhere or if they needed to be held, it was easy to do that for them because they were smaller.

Taehyung was tall and not really petite, but he was equally as adorable as Hobi and Jimin. He was also easy to hold and carry, and he didn’t need to be petite to be cute. He had a very childlike way about him. Maybe it was his cute little bread cheeks and his big boxy smile. Maybe it was his bright, starry eyes or his beautiful, fluffy hair. Maybe it was the way he giggled and clapped when he was excited and pouted when he was upset about something. Whatever it was, he was an adorable little angel either way.

But Jin? If he was a little it’d just be awkward, wouldn’t it? He wasn’t cute. There was nothing ‘childlike’ about him. He wasn’t dainty or petite like Hobi and Jimin were and he wasn’t naturally adorable like Taehyung.

He was a tall man with long legs and broad shoulders. He doubted he’d be easy to pick up and carry around. He could only imagine how awkward it would be to have one of his boyfriends feeding him or giving him a bath. Reading him bedtime stories and playing with him...It would just look weird. It would just be weird.

It was for all these reasons that Jin decided that telling his boyfriends about his little urges lately wasn’t an option. He didn’t want things in their relationship to change since they already had a great dynamic going, and he didn’t want to make things weird.

He didn’t want to make his boyfriends uncomfortable at all. What if the littles weren’t comfortable with having another little around? It had already taken them all quite some time to get used to each other, and Jin didn’t know how they’d react to another little at all. He wondered if they’d accept them? Probably not. They’d probably throw a fit if he told them that he was a little too.

And what about his other boyfriends? They’d probably be upset too. It was already difficult taking care of the littles as it was. They were very energetic and occasionally mischievous. They were a lot to handle—not that any of them would ever complain—and that was with four of them caring for three littles. If it was just three of them trying to take care of four littles instead, Jin couldn’t imagine how that would work. The caregivers would probably be angry if he told them that he’d been feeling little lately.

So, he was keeping this all to himself. And the only way he really could was to avoid his boyfriends at all costs. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be able to hide it from them at all.

But now he was less than a few minutes away from home, panicking as he wondered what he was supposed to tell them. He knew they were all angry with him for avoiding them, and more than that, they were disappointed. They probably just wanted to know what was going on with him recently, and what was he supposed to tell them? He didn’t really have an excuse and no matter how hard he tried to, he couldn’t come up with one. His head was scattered with a billion different thoughts and he couldn’t collect them. He couldn’t figure out what to tell them.

He figured that he’d come up with something once he was put on the spot. Right? He’d walk into the house, they’d all be waiting to talk to him, waiting for answers. Something would come to his head right on the spot. This would be fine.

 

*

 

In a dream world, maybe.

Unsurprisingly, the moment he stepped inside the house he was bombarded. It was literally their first time seeing him at home in weeks, so as to be expected, he was tackled to the ground and hugged and kissed to death first and foremost.

“We missed you, you asshole!”

“Are you okay, hyung? Where have you been? Have you been eating well?”

“Aish, how is it that we share the same house and yet still, we haven’t seen you in decades?”

“Well, it’s nice to see you for the first time in twenty thousand years. Nice of you to come home, hyung!”

Jin enjoyed being squeezed to death in a giant group hug, and he couldn’t help but laugh as his boyfriends planted sloppy kisses all over his face, his neck, on his lips, and even some on his stomach.

But soon, the hugs and kisses stopped and the real questioning began.

“Hyung, what’s been going on with you? You haven’t been answering our calls or our texts, you’ve barely been coming home, and you’ve been overworking yourself at work lately—I’m assuming to avoid coming home. Are you angry with us about something? You know this isn’t the right way to go about things if you are.” Namjoon frowned.

“Right, if we did something to upset you then you know you need to tell us so we can fix it. You can’t just disappear on us like this and expect us to know why.” Yoongi told him gently.

“No, it’s not that I’m upset—“ Jin had tried to interrupt, only to be cut off by a tearful Taehyung.

“Is it something that one of us did?” He questioned pointing between himself and the other littles. “Did we do something wrong?”

“No!” Jin had shouted, promptly bursting into tears afterward.

It didn’t take long for the damn to break and he’d been stupid to think that he could keep himself together while talking to them.

He felt so terrible for the way he’d been acting and hearing Taehyung ask if it was because of something that he or the other littles had done broke his heart. He hated that he’d made any of his boyfriends feel as if they’d done something wrong when none of them was the problem—he was.

“I—It’s not you, it’s me!” Jin wailed.

“Oh God, no,” Jungkook whispered, eyes wide as saucers as he nudged Jimin. “That’s what people say when they’re breaking up with someone.”

“Hyung isn’t breaking up with us, Kookie, he’s legally bound to us. He can’t leave.”

“We’re not married,” Hoseok snorted. “And even then you can get a divorce.”

“Don’t you remember the contract that Jungkook made us all sign though? He wrote it up all by himself, and it clearly states that any of us trying to leave is a crime punishable by death via electric chair.”

“Okay, well I don’t think that’s legal but—“

“I’m not breaking up with you!” Jin cried. “I’m just—a little!”

“A little what?” Jungkook murmured.

Yoongi sighed, already understanding what Jin meant. They’d been through this exact same situation four times now, and Jungkook’s reaction had been the same every single time. Yoongi was starting to wonder how many of them announcing that they were a little it would take before he realized what they were trying to say on the first try.

“Calm down, baby,” Yoongi told the eldest man, leading him over to the couch to sit down. “There’s no need to cry, hm? It’s okay—“

“It’s not okay!” Jin sobbed. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry for avoiding you guys and making you worry and I’m sorry for not just talking to you but I couldn’t! I didn’t want you to know—I didn’t want anyone to know about this because it’s not right! I’m not supposed to be a little, I’m s-supposed to be a caregiver! I’m your hyung! I’m supposed to take care of you guys, you’re not supposed to take care of me! I’m not supposed to be little—“

“Baby, you know that’s not true,” Namjoon told him quickly. “It doesn’t matter whether you’re the hyung or a caregiver or not. If you feel like you’re a little then that’s absolutely okay! You’re allowed to feel that way and you’re allowed to explore that part of yourself. You feel stressed, tired, and overworked sometimes just like all the rest of us. If things get to be too much for you to the point that you feel like you need to be little to cope with it, you have every right to do that, hyung or not.”

“But—“

“No buts. Your wants and needs are just as important as anyone else’s, and you don’t have to feel as if you can’t be a little just because you feel like you’re supposed to take care of us.”

“That’s right, hyung,” Jimin agreed quickly. “You shouldn’t fight off being a little just because you think you have to take care of us all the time. It’s okay to need a break from being a caregiver.”

“Yeah, I mean, I’m a little, but when I don’t feel little I still act as a caregiver for Taehyung and Jimin and it’s fine,” Hoseok nodded. “But when I do feel little, I allow myself to slip and that’s fine too. It’s okay.”

“I...But I thought that you wouldn’t want another little around. It took you guys a while to get used to one another as it is, and if I was little too then it would be four littles and only three caregivers and I just...Another little would just throw things off completely!”

“Well, if we’re being totally honest, I guess we can admit that it might be a bit of an adjustment. It would take some getting used to, taking care of four littles at once, but that doesn’t mean that it’s a bad thing. It’ll just be a learning curve but there’s nothing wrong with that and I don’t think any of us mind.” Yoongi told him.

“I definitely don’t,” Jungkook grinned. “I love getting to take care of my little babies. I’d take care of a hundred of you if I could.”

“You mean it?” Jin sniffled.

“You know I do.”

“Yeah, just think about how you yourself feel,” Taehyung smiled. “You always say that getting to take care of us is the best part of this relationship. The best part of your life is being a caregiver for us, that’s what you tell us all the time. So, it shouldn’t be hard to imagine that our other daddies feel the same. They’d love to take care of you just as much as they love taking care of us.”

Jin bit his lip as he looked around at all of them, assessing their facial expressions. They all seemed to genuinely be okay with him being a little, and he was starting to feel a little relieved, but he was still a tiny bit worried about one thing…

“I’m just not sure if...I’d be a good little. I mean--I don’t know if I’d be as fun to take care of as Jimin, Hobi, and Taehyung are.”

“What do you mean?” Namjoon tilted his head.

“I’m not as cute as any of them are,” Jin murmured. “I just think that it would be awkward for me to be behaving like a child. It’d just be weird. There’s nothing cute about me and--”

“Being a little isn’t about being cute. It’s something you do to cope with your stress,” Taehyung reminded him gently. “But with that being said, you are cute. Hyung, you’re already adorable as is. I’m afraid our hearts might explode when we see you little!”

Jin chuckled shyly, waving the boy off. “Well, what if I’m still not fun to take care of even if I am cute? What if I’m super bratty? What if I throw temper tantrums all the time? What if I make messes? What if I--”

“We’ll discipline you,” Yoongi shrugged. “And we’ll try to fix whatever would be bothering you enough to make you act out that way. Simple.”

Jin let the words sink in for a little while, once again scanning all of their faces and making sure that they were all still okay with the idea of him being a little. They were. They all seemed to be nothing but supportive of it. There was no judgment and no negativity. They were all fine with it. He wasn’t even sure why he’d been afraid to tell them about this in the first place.

He let out a quiet breath of relief, squeezing his eyes shut and letting out a quiet laugh as he nodded after a while. “I feel stupid for hiding this from you guys now,” He let out a small, embarrassed laugh. “I let my anxiety get the best of me and I overthought everything...I should have known that you’d accept me. I just...I don’t know.” He shook his head.

“It’s scary,” Hobi told him, grabbing his hand. “Trust me, we all know. But there’s nothing to be scared of with us, hyung. Ever. We’ll always accept you no matter what. You never have to hide anything from us, no matter what it is. You never have to hide your little side from us or any side of yourself from us, understand?” He pulled the older man closer and kissed him a few times, chuckling as he blushed in response. “We love you no matter what, hyung. You know that?”

“I do,” Jin told him quietly. “I don’t know why I allowed myself to believe anything otherwise. I’m sorry again for the past few weeks. I know it must’ve been hard, especially when you guys were little...It wasn’t okay for me to just disappear all of a sudden.”

“Everything’s forgiven, hyung,” Namjoon told him quickly. “We’re just happy to have you back with us now. And even more than that, we’re happy to meet little you!”

“Oh—“ Jin’s eyes widened at the mention of that. “I...Well, I don’t feel little right now!” He stated quickly.

“That’s alright, hyung,” Yoongi told him. “You don’t have to show us your little side right now. We understand that it can be scary allowing yourself to be so vulnerable with us in that way. We’ll be patient, but just know that whenever you’re ready to show us that side of you, we’ll be ready to see it.”

“Thank you.” Jin murmured, cheeks red as could be. His boyfriends all cooed at him, surrounding him and smothering him with more kisses and hugs.

 

*

 

Jin didn’t slip into little space in front of them for the next several weeks. He was just too tense to slip, even when he did try. It was so backward! When he was trying his best not to slip, it seemed impossible to keep himself from doing so, but when he was actively trying to be little, he just couldn’t no matter how hard he tried.

He wanted to be little—he kinda needed to be. He’d still been very stressed lately, and he’d been in a constant state of exhaustion from work. Slipping sounded like the best thing in the world right about now. But as much as he wanted to, he was just too nervous.

The boys understood and tried to help as best as they could. They all continuously reassured him that it was fine to be little and that they were excited to meet little him. They all discreetly tried to get him to slip from time to time as well.

From speaking to him in their softest, gentlest tone of voice which they usually reserved for when their babies were feeling especially small to making sure to spend extra time coddling him when they could, usually during their nighttime routine. They’d take their time bathing him and then treat him as they’d treat their other littles as they dried him off and put him into the softest, cutest, most comfortable pajamas that they could find.

The other littles had been slipping as well, and nearly begged Jin to play with them when they did. He did play with them, and he did feel like slipping while he did, but he just couldn’t.

Until one day when Jin was up in his bedroom all alone, flipping through the channels on his TV aimlessly. He’d clicked through what felt like hundreds of channels before he came across one which was playing a very bright cartoon that immediately caught his attention.

His finger hovered over the arrow button on his remote, his eyes widening and mouth falling open a little as he saw the cartoon animals on the screen.

The animation was so pretty and fun and the voices of the characters made Jin giggle. They were very silly!

He slowly crawled closer to the edge of his bed in order to be closer to the TV, and he sat watching it for…Well, he didn’t know how long, but it had been at least four episodes. After the fourth one, the show went off and another one came on. It was another pretty cartoon, but it didn’t excite him as much as the previous one had. This one seemed to be about a little girl who traveled up to space! And while that was very exciting, it wasn’t nearly as exciting to Jin as the previous cartoon about farm animals had been.

So, he soon became uninterested in the TV and his eyes began to travel around the room which now seemed so much bigger to him. It took him a few moments to understand why, but soon he became aware of the fact that he’d slipped into little space. After weeks upon weeks of trying, it had finally happened, and naturally at that!

He felt relieved. Calm. And a little embarrassed too.

His cheeks heated up quickly as he realized that he would have to let his boyfriends know that he had slipped. They’d been waiting so long for it to finally happen and he wouldn’t feel right if he just stayed in his room the whole time and didn’t tell them, but that honestly sounded like a good plan to him. He was scared. They’d never seen him little before. What if they didn’t like him?

The other three were little today too. Jin had played with them for a while earlier before coming to his room to relax. What if they didn’t react well to him?

But he pushed those negative thoughts to the side. Whatever happened would happen, but either way, he wasn’t going to hide in his room all day!

He felt a sudden burst of courage as he climbed off his bed and marched up to his room door, swinging it open with no hesitation. But his newfound bravery was short-lived as he saw a smiling Namjoon standing right in front of him.

“Oh, I was just about to knock,” The man told him. “I was gonna ask if you wanted some lunch? Yoongi hyung is fixing something for…Is everything alright?”

Jin was staring at Namjoon as if the man had grown two heads. He looked…Terrified.

“Little.” Jin’s voice was hardly above a whisper despite the fact that he’d tried his best to speak loud and clearly.

Namjoon’s eyes bulged practically out of his head, the man’s smile growing even larger. “Really?!” He practically squealed with excitement. He cleared his throat and tried to calm himself down when he noticed how shy Jin looked. The poor man was bright red and looked as if he just wanted the earth to open up and swallow him right on the spot. “Okay,” Namjoon sounded a lot calmer now. “It’s nice to meet little you, sweetheart…Is there anything specific that you’d like to be called when you feel little?”

“No.” Jin whispered, shrugging.

“Is there anything that you’d like to call me? The other littles refer to me and their other caregivers as ‘dada’.”

“No.” Jin whispered once again, eyes unfocused as he stared right past Namjoon. Namjoon simply hummed and nodded. It was obvious that Jin was very shy and nervous right about now. This was all very new to him, so it was to be expected.

“Why don’t I take you to the playroom where the other littles are, hm? I’m sure they’d love to meet you!”

“Sure?” Jin whispered, eyes wide at the mention of meeting the other littles. Namjoon nodded quickly.

“Yes, I’m sure! They would be happy to meet you! They’ve been waiting to meet their new little friend, actually.”

“Okay,” Jin murmured.

Namjoon sent him a reassuring smile, gently grabbing his hand and guiding him down the hallway. The playroom door was cracked just a little, so Namjoon pushed it open and cleared his throat to grab the three littles’ attention.

They were all in the midst of playing what seemed to be three different games. Jimin was building things with his favorite blocks. As usual, he’d built a few huge buildings, but he’d also built a ‘road’. Hoseok was happily driving his cars over said road, and occasionally getting stopped by Taehyung who was pretending to be a traffic cop.

The three of them stopped playing after hearing Namjoon and turned their attention to him and Jin, who was doing his best to hide behind the younger man.

Namjoon internally cooed as Jin’s fists clung to the back of his shirt tightly, the man’s face buried into the soft fabric as he whined quietly.

“I have someone that I want you guys to meet,” Namjoon told them carefully, gently trying to pry Jin away from his back. “You guys have to be very nice, okay?”

“Who is it?!” Hoseok questioned excitedly, his cars already long forgotten as he scrambled to his feet. Taehyung and Jimin followed suit, both practically bouncing on the heels of their feet.

It wasn’t hard to excite the littles. They loved surprises!

Namjoon gave Jin a gentle tug and Jin stepped off from behind him slowly, though he still clung to the man's shirt for comfort.

“Dada Jinnie!” Jimin squealed, just about to go running up to him until Namjoon shook his head.

“No, dada Jin is feeling little right now! You can just call him Jinnie.”

“Little!” Taehyung gasped. “Like us! We play?”

Jin stepped behind Namjoon once again, shrinking into himself. Jimin frowned. “Why he don’t wanna play with us?”

“He’s just shy,” Namjoon explained. “This is his first time ever being little around us, remember? It’s a big adjustment for him, so we have to be extra careful with him! Let’s make sure to be very nice and welcoming, and not too loud, okay?”

“Okay!” Hoseok practically yelled before gasping and covering his mouth. “Okay!” He whisper-yelled. Namjoon chuckled as he walked further into the room, pulling Jin along with him.

“Jinnie, do you want to play something? There are lots of toys in here and I’m sure the other littles wouldn’t mind sharing with you. Right boys?”

“Right!” Taehyung nodded quickly, already running over to the huge toy box to find something that Jin might like. “We got lots of cars and board games and a tea set and a train track and more blocks and—“

“He don’t wanna play with none of that,” Hoseok shook his head. “I bet he wanna play dress up instead! Or we can play pirate ship!”

“No,” Jimin cut in. “That’s boring! He probably wants to go on an adventure instead! We can explore the kingdom!” He gestured around the room and Taehyung rolled his eyes.

“No, he doesn’t want to do that, he wants to—“

“Guys,” Namjoon cut their bickering short, noticing that Jin was starting to look even more nervous. Which was saying something. “Why don’t we just do something simple first, hm? We can color!”

“Ooh,” Jimin clapped. “I like to color!”

“Me too!” Hoseok agreed, followed by Taehyung.

Namjoon looked at Jin to see if he liked the idea and Jin simply nodded, blushing as he gingerly took a seat across from the other three littles at their table. Namjoon sat beside him, rubbing his back to soothe him as they grabbed some coloring books and plenty of markers and crayons.

Jin’s eyes seemed to light up just a little as he grabbed a coloring book filled with animals. He flipped through the pages for a lot longer than the other littles did—Taehyung was halfway finished coloring his page before Jin had even picked his—but he finally chose to color a picture of a mother duck and her ducklings after a while.

Namjoon watched adoringly as the four littles colored. Jin was completely silent, focused entirely on his coloring. Meanwhile, Jimin and Hoseok were babbling nonstop and Taehyung was humming to himself. Namjoon kept a close eye on Jin to make sure that all the noise wasn’t bothering him, but he seemed to be in his own little world as he worked on his coloring page.

“So cute.” Namjoon murmured to himself after a while.

 

*

 

Coloring was fun at first but it couldn’t keep the littles entertained forever. Soon enough, they wanted to move on to doing something else. Something that would allow them to play with their new friend too, but Jin wasn’t ready for that in the least bit. He too had gotten tired of coloring after finishing his fourth page, but he didn’t want to play with the other littles. He was just too shy.

When he met his other caregivers, he was too shy to interact with them much too, and he continued clinging to Namjoon, who he’d gotten used to by now.

While the caregivers understood that it would just take him some time to get used to them and didn’t mind being patient while he did, the same couldn’t be said for the littles.

“I want to be friends with him!” Taehyung huffed, stomping his foot. “Why won’t he play with me?!”

“Me too,” Hoseok whined. “Wanna play superheroes with him but he runs away when I come near him!”

“Me too,” Jimin pouted. “He won’t let me touch him or nothing! My hands are clean, see?” He held them up for Jin to see.

Jin simply stared at him tearfully, eyes darting between Jimin’s sad face and the other two’s. He felt bad that they were upset with him.

“Hey,” Namjoon scolded gently, hugging the quietly sniffling boy to his side. “We have to be very patient with him, remember? He’s just not used to you guys yet. It’s only been…An hour at the most.” Namjoon murmured after checking his watch.

“How long is it gonna take?!” Jimin stomped.

Namjoon sent him a warning look. “As long as he needs it to take. You took a few days to get used to being around Taehyung when you were first little. Remember that?”

Jimin let out a quiet ‘hmph’ but that was his only response.

“I have an idea!” Hobi said after a few moments. “Follow me!”

Before anyone could argue, he was running out of the room. The rest of them followed him quickly, and they all ended up inside his own room.

He pulled Namjoon over to his closet—which inadvertently forced Jin to stand in front of his closet as well. “Look,” Hobi pointed. “I got lots of stuff! You can have anything you want!” He told the eldest.

Jin tilted his head, confused, so Hoseok explained further.

“I didn’t have no toys of my own when I first started being little so I had to play with TaeTae and Jiminie’s toys until dadas got me my own!” He said. “But TaeTae and Jimin gave me a toy that could be all mine until dadas bought me some! So, you can have one of my toys if you want! It can be yours!”

“Aw,” Jungkook cooed, throwing his hand over his heart. “That’s so sweet!”

Hobi smiled brightly at the praise and the other two littles eagerly offered to do the same and give Jin one of their own toys. But first, Jin got to pick from Hobi’s closet.

He still clung to Namjoon’s shirt as he shuffled a little closer to the closet, peering inside it and looking around slowly. There were so many toys and things that interested him, but it was a little overwhelming trying to decide which one to grab.

Soon enough, though, his eyes landed on a stuffed animal that looked just like the one that had been in his office. He immediately reached for it, letting go of Namjoon’s shirt for the first time and smiling as he cuddled it close.

They all cooed at him as he began nibbling on its ear, looking absolutely adorable as he did, but after a few moments, Yoongi gently pulled it out of his mouth. “That’s nasty, baby,” He told the little gently. “It has yucky germs! Would you like a paci instead?”

Jin hesitated for a few moments before jerkily nodding, face turning just as red as it had been earlier. Yoongi quickly produced a clean paci from his pocket, smiling as he gently nudged it into Jin’s mouth.

“Tanks…” The boy murmured shyly.

“You’re welcome.” Yoongi crooned.

They moved on to Taehyung’s room after that, and this time, Jin gingerly made his way over to the large closet without Namjoon, who stood in the doorway and watched fondly as Taehyung rushed to turn the light on and show Jin everything inside.

Out of everything that Taehyung showed him, though, he was most interested in Taehyung’s clothes. Particularly, his onesies. He had a onesie that seemed to match the stuffy that Jin had picked from Hobi’s closet. Jin really liked it, so he shyly pointed at it and asked Taehyung, “I can have?”

Taehyung nodded quickly. He couldn’t remember the last time that he’d worn it, so he didn’t mind if Jin wanted it!

“I put it on now?” Jin asked quietly.

“I can help you change if you want,” Jungkook offered. “I bet you’d feel a lot comfier in the onesie! Hm?”

Jin shyly nodded and allowed himself to be guided out of the room and back to his own to be changed. He seemed a lot more relaxed now, mostly due to the stuffy and the paci. They made him feel even smaller, so he was hardly stressed or nervous. Besides, he was already slowly warming up to everyone.

He let out the occasional giggle as Jungkook tickled him and blew raspberries on his stomach, talking in a silly voice as he told a silly story while changing him.

Jin hardly even noticed his clothes being taken off and replaced with the onesie, but once the comfortable fabric was resting against his skin, he let out a content sigh.

Jungkook had to resist the urge to pick Jin up and carry him back to everyone else since he wasn’t sure that Jin would be comfortable with that just yet. Instead, he settled for holding the boy’s hand as they walked back to their boyfriends. Jin’s adorable, uncoordinated waddling didn’t go unnoticed, but no one said anything about it.

“Look at you,” Namjoon cooed. “You look so cute! Our cute little baby hamster!”

“Ham…Sir?” Jin repeated, eyes wide and sparkly as he tilted his head. “What that?”

“It seems to be your favorite animal,” Yoongi chuckled. “See? You have your hamster stuffy and your hamster onesie too! I guess that makes you our baby hamster!”

Jin let out a pleased giggled, twisting himself around shyly as he rubbed at the soft fabric of the onesie, hand sliding over his stomach slowly. It was so cute that his dadas honestly felt that they could cry, but they tried their best to keep it together.

Finally, they moved on to Jimin’s room. Jin took quite some time to choose a toy this time, but eventually, he settled on taking a toy fire truck.

“Now, what do we say?” Namjoon asked softly. Jin thought for a while before gasping and looking at the other littles. “Tank you!”

To everyone’s surprise, he gave each of them a short—and awkward—hug. He blushed and kept his eyes glued to the ground right afterward, trying to hide behind Namjoon yet again, but hey, it was progress!

 

*

 

Jin was actually little for the next few days, as were the other littles. It was great because it gave them all time to bond with one another, and it gave the caregivers time to get used to Jin’s little habits too.

They learned pretty quickly that he needed to wear diapers, especially if he was gonna be taking a nap. He tended to get distracted while playing too, so it was best to keep him in one at all times. At first, it took a little convincing, but soon they’d managed to get him to agree to wear one and he seemed more relaxed when he did.

They learned that he had a bit of an oral fixation. He needed something in his mouth nearly 24/7. He loved having a paci, and he’d already found his favorite one. It was a yellow one with SpongeBob on it and he seemed to prefer it over all the other ones that had been offered to him.

When he didn’t have his paci in, he’d nibble on the ear of his hamster stuffy, and he wouldn’t stop no matter how many times they asked him to. The only time he wasn’t nibbling on it was when he was eating or drinking something, and if all else failed, he’d have his fingers shoved inside his mouth.

He was a very quiet and shy little. Although his initial nervousness had faded away and he seemed to be settling into the routine pretty well, he was still very quiet and calm, soft-spoken and shy. It seemed to just be how he naturally was, so they didn’t worry too much about it, especially since he’d warmed up to everybody so well.

He seemed to like doing quiet and peaceful activities the most. Coloring and painting. Watching cartoons and Disney movies. Doing puzzles and being read to. Those were all things that he enjoyed a lot!

He especially loved when Namjoon read to him and the other littles. They referred to the man as their ‘big bonsai’ every time he pulled them over to their reading corner in the playroom. The space was painted an earthy green color and made to look like a forest. There were several different plants sitting around the brown rug with leaves all over it. It was a very peaceful place, and Namjoon usually read to them before their naps or before bedtime. It was very soothing, all of them cuddling up to their big Bonsai dada and listening to him read a nice story to them.

As much as Jin enjoyed the peaceful activities, though, he did also seem to enjoy when things got a little chaotic. They’d quickly learned that he was no angel either. When left alone with the other littles, he could cause chaos just as well, or at least partake in it.

Jumping on the bed when they knew they weren’t supposed to. Playing games of tag in the house when they knew they weren’t supposed to. Staying up past their bedtimes and sneaking into each other’s room to giggle and play together all throughout the night when they knew they weren’t supposed to. The list could go on and on, and it had only been a few days so far.

As shy as he was, Jin also had a mischievous side to him, which the other littles brought out. The four of them bonded over causing chaos. Jin was fitting right in.

Jin enjoyed being picked up and carried around a lot too, especially by Jungkook. He enjoyed playing ‘horsie’ and having Jungkook give him piggyback rides up and down the stairs until the poor maknae was wheezing and dangerously close to collapsing from exhaustion. And just like the other littles, he enjoyed running around the backyard with Jungkook, having water fights, and playing tag and hide and seek too.

He loved playing chef with Yoongi too! When Yoongi was cooking, Jin would bring the toy shopping cart filled with toy food into the kitchen and sit at the table, cooking his own dinner while Yoongi cooked for everyone else. Then he’d make Yoongi taste the food and judge it, always pleased when he got a 10 out of 10!

Bath time was always fun as well. He loved splashing Namjoon throughout his bath and playing with the bath toys.

Everyone was happy with how well he was adjusting to being a little and being surrounded by other littles and caregivers who loved him. They were all glad that he’d warmed up to them so quickly and that now they could smother him in their affection whenever they wanted!

Like now, they were preparing for a movie night. The littles were all already comfortable in the pillow fort that they’d built while the caregivers prepared everything else. Jungkook and Yoongi were in the kitchen grabbing tons of snacks and Namjoon was putting the movie on. They’d decided to watch Zootopia since Jin loved animals so much!

When everything was set up and everyone was comfortable inside of the fort, they all squeezed in as close together as possible, Jin right in the middle of their little cuddle pile.

He happily munched on a handful of popcorn, his other hand preoccupied with holding the other littles’ hands. Jimin, Taehyung, and Hobi all rested one of their hands on top of Jin’s, wanting the skinship as if they weren’t all smothered together inside of a tiny pillow fort as it was. Jin wasn’t complaining, though. He felt comfortable here with all of them.

“Can we watch Frozen after this?” Jimin asked. Taehyung immediately began complaining.

“No way! We already watched frozen two days ago and it’s my time to pick the movie after this! I wanna watch Mulan.”

“I wanna watch The Princess and the Frog!” Hobi argued.

“We haven’t even started Zootopia yet,” Yoongi chuckled. “Let’s not argue over the next movie until we at least get through this one first, okay?”

“Okay…” The three sulkily agreed.

“But I get to pick the next movie!” Taehyung added quickly. Hobi looked as if he was going to argue but Namjoon shot him a look and he huffed, closing his mouth again.

It was already getting late anyway, and they all doubted that any of the littles would be up long enough to watch a second movie. After eating their snacks, they’d probably pass out for the night, and honestly, the caregivers were about ready to pass out too.

The past few days had been wonderful, but exhausting all at once. Taking care of four littles was no joke, but they wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Dada want crackers?” Jin asked, offering the graham crackers on his plate to Jungkook, who cooed and shook his head.

“No, those are your crackers, baby! You enjoy them.”

“Okay.” Jin grinned, pushing a handful of them into his mouth along with his popcorn. Namjoon tsk’d.

“Don’t pack your mouth, okay? You don’t want to choke on your food!”

“No choke!” Jin nodded, agreeing.

They all cooed once again.

It was mostly silent for a while after that. The only sound heard in the pillow fort was the crunching and smacking sounds that they made as they ate their snacks. Once the snacks were all gone and the trash had been thrown away, they all cuddled up together and continued watching the movie.

It was about an hour and thirty minutes in when Yoongi began hearing soft snoring. He looked down and smiled as he was met with the sight of four peacefully sleeping littles. And two peacefully sleeping caregivers to match.

Joon and Jungkook had fallen asleep before any of the littles had, both drooling as they entered a deep sleep. Yoongi chuckled, wishing that his phone was closer to him so that he could take some pictures of them, but instead, he planted a kiss on everyone’s cheek and then made himself a little more comfortable before closing his own eyes. He couldn’t wipe the large smile off his face as he thought about how nice tomorrow would be. They had nothing special planned. It would just be another day spent most likely taking care of their littles, but that would always be the absolute best way to spend a day, in Yoongi’s opinion.

He couldn’t wait to do today all over again.

Jin had felt pretty much the same way before falling asleep, surrounded by his boyfriends and clinging to his beloved stuffy. He was so lucky to have such amazing people in his life, and he was looking forward to spending yet another great day with them tomorrow.