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Re: Learning about physical love the hard way

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Somewhere in Roswaal’s mansion...

“No, as her personal knight, I can’t allow that!” A black-haired young man yelled furiously at all other people in the huge workspace at Roswaal’s mansion.

“Subaru, you know we have to do it at some point. And now, after all that trouble in Vollachia, the time seems right for it. She is far more mature than before, you have witnessed it yourself, right?” A blonde, tall demi-human in a maid uniform said with a soft voice, sitting on one of Roswaal’s fancy sofas.

Subaru sighed at her comment. “I know you’re right, but it would take away all of her innocent charm. And what if she isn’t ready at all? What if it could  harm her or destroy her mental growth? What do you think about that idea, Beako?”

“Betty doesn’t want to be drawn into it, I suppose. But if you want my personal opinion, I think it couldn’t be helped to do it in the near future in fact.” The little blonde girl muttered to her contractor with a sincere and stern face while sitting next to him with some candy in her hand.

“What? Now you are even against your own contractor? Had your “daddy” not raised you better than that?” The black-haired man questioned her while dramatically putting one hand to his heart as if it hurt immensely.

The petite blonde with drill-like hair shouted at him in a very embarrassed manner, “How often does Betty have to tell you not to call yourself that? I am far older than you in fact. It’s disturbing to even think about it in such a way. But Betty would forgive you with a hug, I suppose.”

Subaru nodded happily at her and took the little spirit on his lap.

“You are definitely too cute for this world,” he teased her and cuddled her head against his chest tightly.

“It seems you haven’t gotten anywhere with your discussion so far. And why are you even in my room with such an awkward subject to begin with? Some people are trying to do their job and focus on their own work, you know?!” A tall ashen grey haired man in a merchant uniform asked into the round while his head was half disappearing by a huge stack of paper behind his desk.

“It’s your own fault, you have your head in the gutter and aren’t able to concentrate because of that, you pervert. Besides, we have to be here, so that our little angel can’t hear our discussion. And the others thought somehow that your opinion is important too, so here we are now.” Subaru said to him in a far too emotionless tone than it should be.

Otto coughed at first and then shouted at him in response “What should that mean again, Natsuki-san?”

But everyone knew by now, that it was their way of teasing each other. So nobody was about to comment on it in any special way until a petite pink haired maid showed up in the workspace.

“That means, Barusu wants to distract only from his own perverted nature by accusing you, Otto-san.” The pink haired maid answered for Subaru in her usually non-emotional way while bringing the people in the room some tea.

“Hey… I am not the pervert here, Ram. I want to prevent that whole idea, you know?” Subaru mumbled more to himself than to the young woman, but she heard him regardless while standing relative close to him serving him tea.

“Yes, that would be all of Barusu’s perverse plan anyway. To keep Emilia-sama as innocent as possible, so he could take advantage of her anytime he wanted. Ram thinks she shouldn’t remind Barusu of the one special situation at the sanctuary.” She coughed to herself, clearly disgusted to be reminded of what happened there.

Subaru wanted to answer her, but thought to himself, it couldn’t be helped anyway. So the only thing escaping his mouth was a deep sigh.

“So far, I think we aren’t able to form a conclusion, if we are going on in that way. I suggest we are going to vote who is for it and who is against it.” The blonde maid Frederica said gently but forceful into the round, not patient anymore with all the silly things going around the room.

“Alright, I guess there isn’t any other way to find a solution, so everybody knows so far I am against it. Who is on my side?” Subaru was looking around the room, but to his surprise, nobody was holding their hand.

“Really? This couldn’t be true!? Everybody here besides me is for the plan?” The black haired man whined to himself and pushed the little spirit on his lap a bit more to him like some teddy bear.

“ seems like it in fact. And you are hurting Betty, I suppose?” Beatrice groaned into his chest while cradling his shirt in a strong grip.

“Uppss...I’m sorry my cute Beako.” He let go of her immediately, so she could catch some air. “But this voting doesn’t count, there are missing votes of Rem, Roswaal and Garfiel, too.”

“Even if all these persons would be on Barusu’s side, still more people would be for the plan. Barusu is and will forever be a fool.” The young pink haired maid finally destroyed all his hope while sighing to herself in a teasing way.

Named persons weren’t here at the moment, because Rem traveled back to Lugnica together with Louis to take care of some things in the afterglow of the heat events from Vollachia. And to report all the stuff that happened there to the council. Roswaal was on some political travel tour the next few weeks to find new supporters for Camp Emilia and Garfiel was only out for a short training trip with Ryuzu. But his opinion wouldn’t count much in either case. Besides that, Garfiel was still very young and immature, so his thoughts wouldn’t matter much anyway. Most of the time he goes only for what Subaru says, because of his “Captain-Status”.

And all the underaged girls couldn't be put into consideration anyway like Petra or Meili. Maybe Patrasche could help Subaru, but to explain why an earth dragon should hold a vote in this conversation seemed far more complicated than the subject they were discussing at the moment itself.

“I am absolutely not happy with it, but I have to admit defeat, if everybody else here in the room is for the “plan”. Then we should go to the next important question on the topic. Now that nearly everyone is for the plan besides me - who is going to talk to our princess about “that”?” Subaru got a bit embarrassed about the thought alone and avoided looking around ,while a light pink color was visible on his cheeks.

After the last words left Subaru’s mouth, there was total silence in the room. Everybody stared in his direction, as if he were a ghost or some strange creation from another world, even if the latter could be true in some way.

“Guys, you couldn’t be serious? You are all for a plan, but nobody wants to fulfill it? Now good for me, because I was against it, it wouldn’t be me to tell her.” Subaru smiled happily with himself into the round, waiting to see their reactions.

All other members of the discussion looked at each other, not sure anymore how to rescue them out of this explosive situation. It seemed, nobody had thought so far ahead, like it was typical for Camp Emilia.

“Nobody wants to take the responsibility for that, it seems. So, I suggest a merchant way to deal with this situation.” Otto smirked into the round, although nobody could see it right at the moment.

He had always had luck with this strategy in the past, still sitting half hidden behind his desk, but now slowly rising himself to bring his great plan into the round.

Everybody stared excited into his eyes, hoping this meeting was finally about to end. You could have heard a needle falling onto the floor, how much expectation and breath holding was there already.

“We get so drunk until one of us is brave enough to talk to her about it!” With absolute sincerity and prideness Otto explained his plan like a ruler spoke to his subordinates to come out of this misery alive and unharmed. Of course, he was only concerned to rescue his own skin.

In response everybody in the room sighed in defeat. How could they hope Otto would rescue them all with an instant plan? Although Otto was really smart, things like this weren’t his strong side to begin with. Even less if the subject was such an embarrassing one like this.

“And here I thought you were at last now a responsible adult, Otto.” Subaru shrugged to himself by the thought alone, how that would probably end if the camp would go with his suggestion.

He remembered the few times everyone at the mansion was drunk besides him and of course the kids, too. Roswaal was beside his “clown-status” relative strict was underage drinking concerns. He always made it clear that nobody would take him seriously anymore, if he would get youngsters drunk. It appeared, he never really looked into a mirror before as if it was his only worry.

“Natsuki-san, you’re not fair to me, your only true friend in this whole world.” Otto seemed deeply hurt by the wounding words of his companion in his usually casual way. 

Nobody knew till today, if the merchant was really hurt about something like that or just played so. But nobody wanted to discover the real thing either, because their teasing interaction had its very own charm.

“Ram thinks we should draw the person who has to do it, because Ram has no time anymore for this horse game.” The young maid suggested in her casual emotionless way sitting beside Frederica now and sipping on her hot tea.

Nobody so far had a better idea to handle the situation and kept their heads down while waiting for someone to take the lead again.

“Then it’s decided, I suppose. Betty will prepare some drawing straws, because most people here are suspicious of cheating in fact.” The little blonde spirit mumbled to herself, not wanting to be the one to fulfil the task, but it couldn’t be helped either. She wouldn’t allow that someone pulled out of the responsibility, because they all were for the plan first hand – besides her thickheaded contractor of course.

“That’s my Beako, the most trust-worthy person in this room...” At his statement, Frederica was glaring at Subaru with a look that could kill and her eyes began to water ever so slowly “...besides Frederica, of course,” the black-haired man shouted out the last part of his speech into the room much louder as he originally planned while sweat was forming on his left eye brow, hoping this would rescue the situation for him.

He didn’t want to be on the bad side of the tall blonde maid, because she could probably do things to someone, nobody wanted to think of in detail.

After everyone stated to be fine with the idea, Beatrice hopped down from Subaru’s lap and was about to go for the preparations to draw the lucky person for the task. Hopefully, the outcome will be satisfying for anyone in this room – and Emilia as well.

15 Minutes later (after the draw)

“This couldn’t be true, I am not able to handle something like that!” Otto was nearly mentally and physically destroyed, hanging over his desk like a wet washcloth. “From all options here in the room, it has to be me? Can I get at least drunk to do it, like my first suggestion was?” He whined over and over again, not stopping how the world was against him and why he didn’t know why he was even here to begin with.

Subaru was absolutely not comfortable with the outcome. Hell, he was not even for “the plan” the whole time before. But Otto should go to Emilia and talk about “that”? This doesn’t seem right at all. It is not as the black haired man wouldn’t trust Otto. Besides their teasing, these two were best buddies. But only to think about, that your “Bro” went to your dream girl and was doing such an embarrassing and awkward task, it sounded so wrong in many ways, he couldn’t catch a clear thought anymore.

The situation was already really uncomfortable itself, but now it’s quite unbearable for the young knight. Just as Subaru wanted to say something and tried to cancel all this, Frederica was going to comfort Otto, who was nearly losing his mind and said he couldn’t live anymore after that.

“It’s fine Otto-kun, I drew the second shortest straw, so I will help you with the job.” The blonde haired maid smiled sincerely at him and stroked her own cheek with her finger in embarrassment. Nobody knew if she was blushing because of the subject itself or because of talking to Otto.

“Nevertheless, I think, I am going to die by only thinking about doing such a task, but at least I am not alone with it anymore. Thank you Frederica for your assistance.” He smiled sincerely back at her with light wet eyes and a blush on his cheeks. Feeling a bit better now, but overall definitely not happy with the situation at all.

And so Subaru’s Emilia-tan will get “the talk” at the end of tomorrow. Frederica and Otto matched each other to go over with it as soon as possible, because tomorrow Emilia had nothing else to do besides her daily studies. And Otto himself couldn’t do any more of his paper work with that strange topic always surrounding his head.

“Come Beako, it’s time to go to bed already. I am going to need extra cuddles from you to be able to sleep at all tonight.” Subaru sighted to himself, not wanting to think about the whole situation anymore.

It wasn’t like it would change that much, right? But he couldn’t quite put a finger on why it bothered him so much to begin with. Maybe he wouldn’t see Emilia as not pure anymore? Of course not! She would be his EMT, regardless of what was happening. After returning from Vollachia, she was a lot more open to him, even in the physical region. Not heavy stuff, but she took his hand more often, hugged him more, played more with his hair, was sitting nearer to him than usual, let him do her hair more often and so on. Little things, but noticeable she wanted to be physically closer to him. He even had the impression, she wanted to say something to him all the time, but wasn’t quite sure how to do so. However, he had time to wait for her. Therefore he would never push her out of her comfort zone in that context. All he hoped for was that she wouldn’t get a shock and they had to start from literally zero again with each other.

“I don’t know why Betty’s Subaru is so bothered about it, but I am not against extra cuddles, I suppose. It helps Betty better with her mana-draining anyway in fact.” The great spirit beamed to her contractor, smiling at him on their way to the bedroom.

“I don’t know it either, Beako. But I have an uneasy feeling about it.”

Subaru had a frown on his face the whole way to their room. His only anchor was that Frederica, as one of the most responsible people of the mansion, will be there to help Otto. Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad, if Emilia heard the perspectives of both genders for “the talk”. All he could do was to hope for a good outcome.

Tomorrow will definitely be an exciting day for a few people of Camp Emilia.

The next day

Subaru hadn’t any time to speak to Emilia after their meeting yesterday, so he couldn’t warn her what was going on today. He even didn’t know if he wanted to do that anyway. Not that she would ask him questions again in that regard. The young man could do many things and bear heavy burdens, but there was absolutely no way that he could give her some sexual education.

He never judged anything or anyone in the first place, but this seemed totally the wrong thing to do in his situation. You couldn’t go to the woman you want to marry and talk with her about the “bees and flowers” out of nowhere. Especially, if the named woman didn’t even know what you were talking about in the first place and would literally mean you want to expand the front yard with new plants.

The black haired man only saw Emilia in the morning at breakfast with her usually happy attitude and how beautiful she looked in her casual outfit with her sparkly amethyst eyes and her long silver braided hair, like an innocent angel all the way. One of those angels who had no idea that his whole world could maybe take a different direction from now on. She hugged him at the table and asked if he wanted to help to braid her hair the next morning, which he accepted without a second thought. Subaru was always happy, if he could touch or help Emilia in any way possible.

But that was also the last time he would see her before things got serious. He only witnessed how a weepy and already embarrassed looking Otto and a very serious Frederica, who looked like a woman on a special mission, were talking to her and asked for a bit of her time after breakfast.

“Yeah, here goes nothing. I hope you are strong my pretty Emilia-tan,” he mumbled to himself, thinking about what he could do to distract himself from what could probably happen in that room, while the blonde maid and the merchant were about to plan how to start the conversation with Emilia in the right way.

It’s time for “the talk” at Emilia’s workplace

“What do you want to talk about with me, Frederica-san and Otto-kun? You seemed reaaally eager to see me and get over with it?” The young half-elf asked in her usual calm silver belled voice.

“You know… Lady’s about...ähmmm...” Otto began to stutter already red from head to toe and his face was staring more into the floor than at Emilia.

“What’s wrong Otto-kun? Do you have a fever? We don’t have to do it now, if you don’t feel well?” She questioned the young man and was about to feel him up if something was wrong with him.

“No Emilia-sama, Otto-kun is just fine. He is only a bit overwhelmed with the discussion we are going to have now. How about we take a seat first and take a sip of tea?” Frederica tried to rescue the beginning of the conversation and make them as comfortable as possible.

She wasn’t quite happy with the task either, but as a head maid it wasn’t unusual to talk to younger maids about “that” and give them some education about it. But to teach your master in that regard, who happened to be much, much older than yourself, it’s quite a weird situation. Frederica had only accepted to help Otto, because she couldn’t bear it to see him so broken down and of course wanted to help. She had always had a soft spot for the young ashen gray haired merchant. Besides that, nothing good could happen, if this talk went the wrong way. As a result, she would try to help as much as possible with it.

The three of them sat down on one of the sofas in the room, Emilia on one side and Frederica and Otto on the other side, looking at each other as if they had all something on their faces from breakfast while Ram was bringing them some tea. However, the pink haired maid left the room in a hurry, never saw someone her this fast at work. Probably she didn’t want to be drawn into the discussion in any way. The staff finally understood now what to do to make Ram a workaholic.

“You should know Lady Emilia, this isn’t my strong side to talk about, but I will do my best first and for all as your friend and advisor. Frederica is here to support me and will underline the “female part” in this whole “thing” we are going to talk about.” Otto began his speech confidently, but still uneasy how this could end with his face and ears red all the way to his neck.

He knew they had to do it at some point. As her advisor it was one of his duties to fulfill her with all necessary info she should know as the future king. Unfortunately, he didn’t think so much ahead at all. There was no doubt that besides political education, she would need much more info about simple human “needs”, “biology” and “behavior”. How else should a king understand to rule a kingdom, if she couldn’t understand what was driving her residents?

All the time Emilia studied the two people in front of her, not quite getting why they were so uncomfortable around her. But it couldn’t be helped. She tilted her head to the side and waited patiently but curious about that one of them started to speak to her while smiling at them to try to ease their discomfort.

Otto inhaled a deep breath into his lungs and began his speech. “Lady Emilia, today we are going to talk about some other form of education, which should be very important for yourself as a person and for your future role as king. Certainly, you remember that one time in the Sanctuary, where Natsuki-san kissed you on the lips and that led to a very big misunderstanding on your side. So ähhhhh...we are...about know...ähhhmmm..” The young merchant began to mumble more to himself than actually words would leave his mouth.

The start was good, but then he lost his nerves again being flooded with blood, not knowing how he should go on with his wording.

Frederica saw his discomfort and helped to end his speech, not as much as embarrassed as the man next to her. “What Otto-kun wanted to say was, we want to teach you some form of human or demi-human biology with focus on their reproduction and their behavior. It’s very important to have knowledge about it. In your role as a future king, it’s necessary to be aware of one of the most important drives of your kingdom’s residents.”

“Ohhh….” It was the only thing that left the mouth of the pretty half-elf, while also getting red over her face to the tips of her ears. As a result, she started to turn her head away from them.

It wasn’t like she felt awkward because of the human way of reproduction. How strange could it be? She wondered occasionally why everybody made such a huge case out of it. But she was more ashamed of herself that other people had to tell her so many things about human needs and behavior.

“Honestly, you two don’t need to feel so uncomfortable, because it isn’t your fault for my lack of common-sense. If someone should be embarrassed, then it should be myself.”

Still, she always wondered why Subaru was so embarrassed to talk about it back at the Sanctuary. He was sometimes such a blockhead. He didn’t want to tell her the real thing, where babies were coming from, and ran away busy as a bee, as if his life would depend on it. And because of his reaction, she didn’t want to ask about it again. The silver haired woman smiled at herself at the memory, because her knight was so silly more times than not, but then spoke further to the people in front of her.

“Back then, it made Subaru reaaallly uncomfortable and you two appear not better now. I’m sorry, if it’s because of my unusual background.” She uttered in a sad voice, looking down to the floor and feeling uncertain of herself not only because of the topic.

“No Lady Emilia, it isn’t because of you. Many people feel very embarrassed to talk about sexual education, because it is very weird to describe and go into details.” Otto answered to her after witnessing her shame about herself not wanting to discomfort her, too.

“Otto-kun is right, it has nothing to do with you. People feel ashamed of it, because it is labeled to be sinful to have sex or sexual attraction to someone and the act itself is often called impure and dirty.” Frederica stopped her sentence and studied Emilia’s face to see how she would react, but she seemed so far emotionless, so the blonde maid went further. “So, most people don’t want to talk about it in public or in general with other humans. But it’s very important to know about the process, because this is where…”

“...Babies are coming from? The action you do to become pregnant is called “sex”, right?” Emilia asked with a curiosity only some small, innocent child could have.

She sounded very interested in the subject. Far more Otto and Frederica had expected from her. But on the other side, they didn’t know what Emilia had in mind how human production could work.

They only nodded at Emilia to make it very clear that she was on the right path with her thoughts.

In Emilia’s mind, she couldn’t think of a reason why making a baby should be dirty. Looking back at mother Fortuna and uncle Geuse it seemed like fun to have a child and be a happy family. Then why should “making” one be sinful? Maybe you have to hold hands for a very long time without washing them? Hugging each other quite the time without bathing before? Sleeping in the same bed while holding each other's bodies, because the sweat could be called dirty, too? It couldn’t be helped! It would be best for her if she was told,  regardless of how shameful she felt because of her lack of knowledge about it.

“Sooooo...Sex...How does it work exactly?” She asked in a bold way only a person without shame or a clue could do so while looking at them with some curiosity and sparkle in her amethyst eyes beside her ashamed status.

Shocked from her boldness, Otto and Frederica gulped and looked at each other. They were not sure how or who should go on anymore. The young man tried to gather his composure again and started with a more biological way.

“You do know Lady Emilia that males and females look at some body parts differently, right?” He asked her and she only nodded, not catching where this should go. Otto uttered further to her after her agreement. “ I have parts on my body which Frederica and you don’t have and vice versa. And some of this parts are necessary to have sex.” Otto tried his best to say it in a way to feel less discomfort, but it seemed he confused her even more with his attempt at education.

Indeed, Emilia was more confused than before with the phrasing of the ashen gray haired man.

If the different body parts of males and females are the key to it, then what does that mean in general? Holding or grabbing these parts to make a baby and don’t wash yourself after it, so you wouldn’t clean it away? She thought to herself with a frown on her face.

“I’m afraid I don’t get it, Otto-kun. Sorry, I am reeeaaally bad with connecting the dots.” She answered him calmly, but even more uneasy not getting the hint he dropped for her.

Otto begged Frederica with an uneasy look to go on, because he was not sure how he should say it in the best way possible to her. Catching the hint, Frederica tried another way and started speaking.

“It’s alright, Emilia-sama. Maybe we should start on another point. See, you already know that males and females at some places on their body are totally different from each other. To have sex, especially the lower body parts of males and females, are important. They are needed to connect together like a key fits into a keyhole. Basically, sex includes that a male put his penis, that’s his primary genital part between his legs, into the vagina of a female, that’s her primary genital part between her legs.” Frederica blushed immensely as the last words left her mouth, but there wouldn’t be another way to say it better. It had to be done somewhere in the conversation and Otto didn’t appear to be able to turn the corner.

Seeing that Frederica got more and more red, Emilia understood now slowly why she was referring to “dirty” and “sinful” at the beginning. It sounded a bit absurd to imagine that you put the body parts, you normally would pee with, together to make a child in the process.  The half-elf never would have never guessed so in a million years.

“Alright...I think...” That was all Emilia could answer so far to her education.

She was still not really catching why they were so ashamed in the first place, but Emilia got the “dirty” part now. But this knowledge gave her only more questions than answers so far.

“It sounds like the basics from the basics. There is probably a lot more to it, right?” The silver haired woman asked further, still absolutely innocent to the whole subject but keen to get the whole picture.

“Yes, that’s of course not all to it. To make a baby, the male has another part at his lower body, to produce semen and impregnate the female with it. These are the so-called testicles. The female has another process in her womb which is called ovulation, so that the semen of the male together with the egg of the female ovulation can form the early version of a baby.” Frederica breathed deeply in and out, hoping the worst part was over now.

Emilia was a bit shocked at first, but it sounded not that bad at all. A bit mixed up, but overall shortly connecting these body parts together, couldn’t be all why they were so embarrassed of the whole thing from the beginning.

“Thank you, Frederica-san and Otto-kun. Now I have a better understanding of it.” Emilia smiled at them like a child who got a candy, but wasn’t nearly satisfied with just one candy at all. And so she asked another question to understand the whole topic better.

“It sounds like a painful thing to do that so called “sex”? But more importantly, who could fit a penis into a vagina anyway?” She asked with a frown on her face, clearly confused by her own question.

“Well, there must something happen with the bodies of males and females before you could have sex in order that the lower body parts could finally fit together. You can’t do it right away..ähmmm...How should I describe it the best way....” Otto tried his best to explain it to her and gesticulated with his hands something the young innocent woman couldn’t understand while he was turning red in the process again. As a result, she tried to help him with the right questions and drove the conversation further.

“You mean Otto-kun... As an example... You couldn’t have sex with Frederica-san right away now, right?” Again her boldness made both, the maid and the merchant, feel embarrassed from the bottom up.

“It isn’t like I couldn’t, it is more like I wouldn’t.” Otto shrugged to himself, totally unsure how to explain further without giving Frederica bad thoughts. 

Named maid was already looking at him with a glare he couldn’t get, what she could probably think about him at that moment. But there was no turning back now, he had to go forward. “Lady Emilia, you don’t put only genitals together and wait till it’s over. There is a process which is called sexual attraction or erection. It’s important to prepare the sexual organs to go over to the “connecting-part”.”

“Ahhhh …understood! And you have no sexual attraction for Frederica-san overall? Whatever that could mean?” The silver-haired woman asked him, totally emotionless, as if it was the most normal thing to ask another person about his sexual attraction towards other people.

Emilia knew they got along really well and liked each other, but didn’t catch why they were so uncomfortable to speak about it.

“Noooooooo….” Otto yelled into the room without a second thought at his climax of embarrassment.

Seeing Frederica glare at him after his outburst, he tried to correct himself, totally unsure of himself and the situation.

“I mean, yes?” The merchant yelled even more into the room with a high pitched voice and phrased it more like a question than an actual answer while his body was getting smaller and smaller on the sofa by every second.

Seeing the maid’s glare increase further, as if she was about to kill him, he was finally at his breakdown and whined into the room while he was holding his head in frustration.

“Ahhhhh, why am I even here? Natsuki-san, please rescue me out of this hell already!”

He was probably not able anymore to continue with the talk which meant that Frederica had to take over again. At the end of this education they had probably a lot to discuss with each other. It wasn’t like he found Frederica bad or unattractive. He liked her even a great deal to some extent, but this task played too much with his mind already and so he couldn’t deal with that on top, too.

“What Otto-kun meant was...” Frederica’s eyes softened a bit after taking them away from the young merchant “..that you need to love someone or at least find them physically attractive, through which your body could prepare for the sex part. Only if that happens, sex could be possible. In this process, the penis of the male fills itself with blood and gets hard, while the vagina of the female produces wetness, so the male could slide in easier with it.”

Frederica explained it in an odd and gentle way, suddenly a lot more at ease with the discussion than before. For sure, the maid was a bit angry with Otto for what he said earlier and not getting her hints until now that she liked him a bit more than just as a friend. Nevertheless this could wait now, because they had more important things to do and so she spoke further to Emilia.

“And to answer your other question, Emilia-sama. Sex is supposed to feel really, really good. Of course only if you know how to do it right and if you could experience it with a person you are comfortable with.” 

She smiled softly at the silver haired woman. Then she turned her head to smirk at Otto, while he was not sure anymore how he could look into the mirror from now on.

“Thank you Frederica-san, now I got a better understanding of the whole “sex thing”. But I am not quite sure where the difference between love and sexual attraction could lay? I mean, you don’t want to have sex with your parents or siblings, although you love them, right?”

At this point, Otto was only a whining lump somewhere on the other end of the sofa while Frederica was trying her best to finish the task as best as possible.

“This is a very difficult question, Emilia-sama. Love comes in so many ways, but not everyone you love, you want to have automatically sex with. As you said before, your love for parents or siblings or maybe friends could be totally different from the love you feel for a lover or a spouse. This is something you have to find out on your own. But I think for today we should leave it at that. I have some books for you that you should study to have a better understanding of what we talked about. If you have a question about it, feel free to ask every time you want.”

Frederica finished her last sentence with a smile on her lips and gave Emilia some books for detailed description how pregnancy for humans or demi-humans and how sex in general worked all the way. Also, what sexual attraction made to the body and on top some smutty romance, so that the half-elf had references how sex could look like in real with romantic partners who were in love with each other. Of course only the basics for Emilia, because certainly everything else would probably overwhelm her till no end at this moment.

“When there were books all the way, why are we even here and talking about it in person?” Somewhere behind the sofa, a depressed and weepy Otto crawled out, face white like the wall, while Frederica was pulling him up by his collar. She talked to him with a stern face.

“Because teaching doesn’t mean to only hand someone books and then disappear without a second thought.. Come on Otto-kun, we are done here for today.” Frederica smiled one last time at Emilia while dragging Otto ,who didn’t fight back at all, out of the room by his collar.

“Thanks to both of you for your time and your explanations.” Emilia shouted after them in response. The blonde maid only nodded friendly in her way and Otto sighed in ultimate defeat grumbling to himself how his life shouldn’t be that way.

What’s wrong with him? I don’t understand it…” Emilia mumbled to herself, wondering if it was her fault he was so uncomfortable all the time. Maybe she should apologize later or tomorrow to him.

And so the young woman was alone with her thoughts and some books in her hands which could eventually provide her a better sense of how she felt about a certain black haired knight of hers. In other words, her studies today would go over all the books in front of her to get at least the theory of this “sex-thing” and how it came to it.

8 Hours later

The half-elf let her head fall against her desk in frustration. She had now a good idea what sex was like and how it came to it. On top of that, how pregnancy for humans or demi-humans worked and what a virgin was (she didn’t want to think about that anymore). There were also references about masturbation and a climax as goal of it’s process and some detailed other names for the lower body regions of males and females. But the most important point to her was what a relationship between romantic partners should look like.

She wasn’t really ashamed of the process of love making itself. It seemed like a nice thing to do if you have the right partner for it or at least the right mindset to take care of your own release. She didn’t quite understand why you should touch yourself, but right now, she didn’t want to focus on that part.

And that was finally her problem with the hole “sex-thing”. She never felt sexual attraction for anyone before and if she took the smut roman as a reference, then lovers seemed totally different from what she experienced with all her camp members and even Subaru. In addition, the difference between platonic love which you felt for family members or close friends, lacks the sexual attraction you have for a lover. As such, all her relationships so far were strictly platonic. Although the relationship with Subaru seemed a bit unique, compared to all others. Totally more complicated than it should be as she read in the books. The knight promised he loved her multiple times. But the question was now in which way did he love her? And in what way did she love him?

She was absolutely sure that she loved him in a special way without a question. The half-elf even thought of him as handsome in a certain sense. She totally loved his eyes which reminded her of the eyes of her mother. She could trust him with everything. He was her precious knight and most important person in her life after Puck left. The young man saved her in so many ways she couldn’t count anymore. But this so-called sexual attraction?

No, she never had that with him. And on the other hand, Subaru never showed attraction in that form to her either. Yes, they kissed and they touched each other in light form but that was all to it. Maybe he loved her not really in that “sexual” way? Subaru was always hard to understand for her and most of the time she couldn’t catch if he was serious or not with what he said to her.

Perhaps he saw her only as a really close friend and nothing more? Could he have for Rem another attraction than for her? Her knight confessed a number of times that he loved Rem, too. As a result, eventually he displayed sexual attraction to her? It made sense, because in the books there were only two lovers and not three. Emilia also believed that romantic love should only be between two people and not shared by more than two people.

No matter how hard Emilia thought it through, she came to no conclusion till now. There were signs that they were more than friends and on the other side they weren't. In the books it looked as if the lovers saw each other and knew on the spot that they were meant for each other and didn’t look at any other potential partners anymore. How did this happen for them? She didn’t know and the books didn’t help with it either. As it was a matter of fact, a romantic relationship should be like this and not different. Two people, love at first sight and sexual attraction. Nothing she had with her knight so far. Emilia read more than one of these smutty books to convince herself from that fact.

“Subaru?! Why are you so difficult to understand all the time, you dunderhead?” Emilia whined to herself in defeat and was thinking about going to sleep without dinner. She formed an idea about how it would be better, if Subaru wasn’t going to touch her at all for the time being.

If neither of them was sure in what way they loved each other then they shouldn’t dance on the edge between friendship and lovers further with no way of returning. Her knight never described to her in detail how he wanted their relationship to be. Knowing the real deal now, his love could mean a lot of things to Emilia. She definitely liked it, if he was touching her. Of course not in the way the books told her, but it felt unquestionably nice to be physically near him.

Even if she tried to imagine her reaction to the fact how Subaru and herself would look like by acting as the couples in the smutty books, it only gave her one conclusion. No, she shouldn’t think about such a scene at all. It made her unexplainable embarrassed, even if she was thinking sex itself wasn’t something you need to be ashamed of. But her doing those “things” with Subaru in her mind washed a very strange sensation over her body and she couldn’t figure out why.

She felt totally embarrassed for the first time in her life and didn’t even know why it would be like that. It confused her totally. Maybe it was because she didn’t feel too sure about her feelings for Subaru in the first place anymore? Or perhaps it wasn’t appropriate to think about him in that way regardless of her emotions?

It couldn't be helped. Emilia prepared herself going to bed and shortly after laying down, she drifted slowly but surely off to sleep with the intention that it was the best way to ignore her knight in some physical ways for the future. Consequently, it shocked her to her very own core that she wasn’t so sure of the real state of their relationship anymore. She didn’t want to destroy what they had so far with her crazy mind right now. There was no way she couldn’t imagine a life without her Subaru anymore and because of that it would never be her intention to damage what they had achieved until now.

The next morning after “the talk” at Roswaal’s mansion

Subaru came to Emilia’s room as he promised the day before, helping to braid her hair. He didn’t see her yesterday after “the talk”, but Frederica told him that it went well. Of course Otto had a mental breakdown like it was to be expected from him, but the most important outcome was that the blonde maid clarified that his Emilia-tan took it really mature for her circumstances. The half-elf now even owned some books to assist her to comprehend human reproduction and romantic relationships way better.

Due to this, Subaru had no worries why she didn’t show up to dinner yesterday, because she was probably tired after all the things she had to process.

He thought to himself, he shouldn’t do anything different than before with her. After all, nothing shouldn’t change because of that, right?

And so he left Beatrice in the morning at the new library of the mansion while knocking on the door of his beautiful Emilia-tan now.

She opened the door without hesitation and guided him into her room. Her face gave nothing away in what mood she was in right now, even looking largely emotionless to Subaru.

It was really weird for her to see the young man after yesterday’s events. The half-elf couldn’t even look him in the eye, despite hugging him, like she had done so many times before. Although she longed for it, her mind didn’t want to agree with it. In the end, it didn’t seem right to her when neither of them was sure what their type of relationship was or how it should be in the future. Her bond with her knight was special and she wouldn’t do anything that could harm it in any way. She had no experience with something like that, therefore she could only do what she thought was right.

“Good morning, Emilia-tan. I am here like promised to help you braid your hair.” Subaru said in a motivated and cheerful way while the pretty half-elf wasn’t knowing what to do about her conflicted mind. 

The young man noticed that she was a bit hesitant about his presence, but didn’t want to push her further. Maybe she was embarrassed after yesterday and didn’t know how to approach him now. He would let her be until she had figured out her thoughts and feelings from the sexual education.

“Or do you not want me to do it for you?” He asked her in a gentle way to give her at least a choice to back down from it.

Subaru never wanted to make her uncomfortable in any way. Emilia was everything for him and he wanted to make her happy in every way possible, even if it meant to put back himself.

“No, I promised it! And you know how important promises are, right?” She vocaliced to him seriously with a little smile and blush on her face.

Emilia was very troubled in her mind, but she couldn’t allow herself to break her own promises. In the end, this one time the young woman hoped she could survive it. She needed only to concentrate on other things while she was sitting down on a chair in her room. Shortly after, she sensed that her knight was directly behind her now, starting to feel up her head with his big and gentle hands.

“Alright, if you say so Mili…” Subaru found her behavior a bit weird, but started to slowly comb her hair and was preparing the braids by now.

He witnessed her stiffness in the chair, yet didn’t want her to be more uncomfortable or the situation to deteriorate further. She would say something to him when he should stop or could help her in any other way. Hopefully she would do so, the young man thought to himself.

Emilia on the other side was nearly on the edge to lose her mind. It should be so easy! But it was definitely not possible to concentrate on other things than her knight standing behind her! After all the smut romance, she couldn’t bear with his hands on her head and the close proximity. She hadn’t the feeling she was turned on. The situation seemed different from what the stories told her, but her body got really hot as if she was about to catch a fever or would burn from the inside. It was the same feeling she got last night, after thinking through and through, what the boy behind her meant to her and what would it be to have sex with him.

Then there was it again, the sensation of real shame and embarrassment. She didn’t thought about sex as a shame by imagining other people having it. But thinking about Subaru and her between the sheets didn’t quite help her mindset. And additionally, she didn’t even know what their love was for each other, so it was not right to think about him in that way.

“Ähm Emilia-tan, are you alright? Your face is all red and you feel hot on your head…” The young man spoke to her in a confused and concerned tone while Emilia was thinking about how to get out of the situation.

She needed to get away from him! Now! Desperately she tried to look for a solution to her dilemma until she was able to form an idea in her mind.

“Subaru, I reeeaaaalllyyy need to go to the resting room quickly! Sorry, but it couldn’t wait anymore! And then I take care of the rest myself, so you don’t need to wait for me. After all, you have probably better things to do than to braid my hair.”

And so the half-elf ran out of the room without even looking back at him in only her nightgown and half-braided hair as if it was the most terrible emergency run for the toilet anybody could ever see in this world.

“Okay, that was quite an odd behavior…” Subaru mumbled to himself as he was watching after his Emilia-tan. He was still holding his hands in the air as he wanted to comb her hair further and deep in thoughts what was happening here.

At the breakfast table the same day

30 minutes later the two young people met each other at the breakfast table again, but Emilia had quite the problem to look Subaru in the eyes again. The silver haired woman was troubled a lot more now, then she was in her room earlier that day. But this didn’t stop Subaru from trying to cheer her up nevertheless. After all, he couldn’t stand it to see her not being her happy self.

“You know Mili, you don’t need to be ashamed of what was happening earlier in the morning. Sometimes everybody gets a sick stomach from time to time. It happens to me quite often, especially when it was Ram’s kitchen duty.” He smiled at her, hoping to get the mood right and making her feel better. Of course, Subaru totally didn’t understand what her problem was to begin with.

“Subaru, you dunderhead! It wasn’t like that at all!” Emilia answered with a frown on her face and even more embarrassed now than before. 

She didn't want to look his way while speaking more to the floor than to him. It was bad enough what was happening in her head this morning, but to deal with his guessing was far more worse.

“Then what was it, if you were not sick? Do you want to talk about it?” He watched her reaction, but not quite sure what her problem could be. Nonetheless, he would do everything to help her regardless of what her issue was.

“Sorry Subaru, I promise you it’s nothing major, but I don’t want to talk about it right now. I need to find my own solution for this at the moment.”

Without even looking back at him, she gathered her things together after eating breakfast, and went back to her room to study. But Emilia wasn’t able to concentrate like she usually was, before she had to deal with the even more conflicting feelings for her knight after her sexual education. Little did she know beforehand that it would make things more complicated than easier.

At first, Subaru didn’t worry much about her behavior. At the end of the day, everyone was allowed to have a bad mood from time to time. Although for Emilia it was quite strange, maybe she could have this phase, too? Or other phases, if her body worked like that of a normal human woman every month. He shrugged to himself, thinking about the possibility that she could be this way once a month. Frederica and the others told him, he shouldn’t think too much about it. She wasn’t sick, but perhaps a bit overloaded from yesterday, even if “the talk” itself went not that bad.

And so Subaru didn’t want to push her any further, letting her time and freedom for herself. For the time being, he worked out in the garden, played with Beatrice, fed Patrasche and helped Ram and Frederica in the kitchen with their tasks. He even thought about helping Otto, too. But this would probably go too far, he didn’t want to muddle up the merchant’s work. He could be quite the “tsundere”, if you only hold the stamp the wrong way.

Two weeks later

And so day after day passed. But it wasn’t the only time Emilia tried to avoid Subaru if he wanted to be physical near her. The most she accepted between them was a normal small-talk with him. Two weeks from now since “the talk” and she refused to be hugged, to let her hair braid or do other things they have normally done before. Because of that Subaru got slowly a bit anxious that he had done something wrong with her at some point. Or worse, that after getting sexual education, she decided that her feelings for him couldn’t be more than strictly platonic. It made him totally nervous. Especially after what happened with Rem’s and his relationship for the last months.

After Rem’s memory loss and the events in Vollachia, they were on very good terms with each other, but her feelings for him weren’t more than friendship anymore. And it was simple that he couldn’t force her to love him again. The Rem at the moment and the Rem from the past were now totally different persons. There was of course still a chance that the new Rem could love him in the future, but there was also another problem.

She wasn’t the Rem he fell in love with either anymore. She developed herself further into an independent, headstrong woman and didn’t need her hero anymore like in the past. He was so proud of her, no doubt about that. But many parts Subaru once loved about her were gone and all he cling to until today was nostalgia love about past memories with her. Perhaps they could fall in love again sometime in the future, but how should he fight about something that has no basis anymore? Even if she got her memories back in the future, there was no guarantee that the new Rem would mix well with the old Rem and love could develop easily between them again.

All he could do was to wait and see what the future would bring for them. It made him very sad on the one hand, but there was nothing he could do about it right now. He sighed to himself, being totally lost in his thoughts. He may have lost Rem in some way for now, but he couldn’t bear it to lose Emilia, too. Certainly not, if in her case there was still a chance to make things right. Subaru didn’t know what was wrong in the first place, but he would make sure to not let it be that way anymore. He wanted to know what he could do to make things for them better again.

“Hey Beako, don’t you think something with Emilia isn’t alright, too?” He asked his little spirit girl who was with him to take a walk in the mansion garden at the moment.

“At least Betty thinks Emilia is like her usual self towards me or others in fact. The only difference is how she is acting with you, I suppose.” The blonde great spirit said to her contractor with sincerity after witnessing his inner dilemma. They were still walking next to each other holding hands for her mana-draining.

“It seems I am not the only one who noticed it, right?” He looked curious but thoughtful in her eyes, his voice filled with sadness while waiting for her answer.

“No, I am sure most of the people here have witnessed it in fact, but Betty doesn’t know what she should do? It looks more like an issue in Emilia's own head, I supposse?” The little blonde said to him with concerned eyes and a frown on her face.

Beatrice loved Subaru and she liked Emilia a lot, too. To see them both sad because of probably some misunderstanding didn’t sound right for  the blonde girl. It had definitely something to do with the sexual education of the half-elf. She often caught Emilia staring at her Subaru when he wasn’t even looking at her.

But she wasn’t looking at him like she usually did, more as if he was something she needed to study or she had to understand to some extent. The greater spirit even caught the half-elf staring at his crotch more often which she never had done before. As if she needed confirmation for the existence of his male anatomy. However, Beatrice would never say something about that observation to her contractor. It was simply too embarrassing even for her.

After such a display at the dining table, all you could hear from Ram was in such a situation, once Subaru and Emilia left the room. 

“Disgusting! Even thinking about Barusu’s male parts would cause Ram to vomit. Probably Petra has to do Barusus’s room and laundry in the future, because Ram doesn't want to touch those things anymore. How could Emilia-sama be interested in the lower body parts of such a pervert?”

The little blonde girl shuddered to herself after remembering those memories. It seemed they needed help again with their state of relationship. And so an advice formed in the mind of the great spirit.

“Betty’s Subaru should try to talk to her about the situation. And if she refuses, then try to talk to others. Perhaps they know something about her or could speak to her instead of you, I suppose? Maybe she could open more to other people in fact? Betty thinks Emilia tries to do something on her own, but isn’t able to complete it in fact.” Beatrice advised Subaru while he was still thinking about what to do about the conflicted situation with his Emilia-tan.

It wasn’t like she hated him or avoided him completely. It was more that after “the talk”, she appeared more lost regarding her feelings for him than ever. Their bond wasn’t lost or damaged per se, but more put on a hold on her side. This could be a good sign or a bad sign, depending on how you wanted to look at it. But nothing came from only sitting around and pondering. The knight would make sure to support her as much as possible and all he wanted was that she knew that.

His Emilia-tan may sometimes need a bit more help to understand that she wasn’t a burden at all and that she was already giving him so much back. She had already done so much on her own in the past and grown a lot into a strong personality. But everything regarding human emotions and especially love was quite difficult for her and maybe for Subaru himself either. Had he not made his point clear enough in the past? Did he perhaps confuse her with some things he said or had done to her? There was no way he could think that through with the information he had now. And so the knight spoke again to the drill-like haired girl next to him while an idea was coming to his mind.

“You’re too good for this world, Beako! What should I do without you?” The young man happily hugged the great spirit tightly for a short time. After that, they strolled further through the garden while Subaru was forming a plan in his mind about who to ask for advice. Somebody with a little more experience with such problems would be ideal.

“Of course! Betty always knows the answer to everything for her short thinking contractor in fact.”

“Hey, that hurts my heart immensely. But thank you Beako for always being there for me.” Subaru tried to imitate a deeply wounded man, but couldn’t hold his chuckle back anymore while still holding the great spirit's hand in his as they were still walking.

He didn’t want to always see everything so negatively. As long as there was hope, he could work with it and try to go through to Emilia. It wasn’t a lost path. It's complicated like always, but not lost per se.

Emilia on the other side was in her very own dilemma. She missed the things she had done with Subaru in the past, but it didn’t feel right to go back there either, because they shouldn’t do it without clearing their expectations first. But to clear something out, you need to know what you want in the first place, right? And so the half-elf had the intention to have another meeting with Frederica to ask her some more “questions” regarding romance. She hoped to gain a better understanding of matters she had no experiences with in the first place.

The silver haired woman went in a steady pace through the corridors of the huge mansion while hearing the voice of the blonde maid out of Otto’s workplace as they were laughing and smiling at each other like little kids who had a lot of fun together. She witnessed before that they probably liked each other, but hadn’t thought of it to that extent. Emilia hadn’t seen both of them so happy in all the time she knew Otto and Frederica as she observed the scene through his open door. Then she slowly knocked on the door frame to show her presence to them.

“Oh Lady Emilia, it’s nice to see you again. Do you need something from me?” Otto said in a calm and friendly tone, not really bothered that she disturbed them by simply being there.

“Ähm yes, I am sorry to bother you Otto-kun and of course Frederica-san, too. I know how much work you have to do and to deal with me on top of it. But I’d like to borrow a few minutes from you both once more.” She shyly admitted to them, drawing circles with her right foot on the ground and waiting patiently for their answer.

“That’s no problem at all, Emilia-sama. Remember, the only reason why we are working in this mansion in the first place is to serve you. So don’t be hesitant to make use of us.” Frederica smiled sincerely at her, going out to make some tea for them.

After the blonde maid came back, the three of them were sitting now in the same position as last time and Emilia tried to form her questions right in her mind in preparation for speaking to them. They waited patiently but curious what the pretty half-elf wanted to ask.

“Thank you for your time again. There is something I want to ask or discuss with you, because it’s something I’m not able to get on my own.” She confessed to them in some concerned voice, hoping they don’t mind her lack of confidence right now.

Sometimes, although she gathered a lot of confidence and self-esteem in the past, the old Emilia came a bit through to the surface. Especially, if she wasn’t sure about her own position in a complicated subject like that

“It’s about Natsuki-san, right?” Otto asked her in a gentle way and smiled at her as he would already know what she had to say. 

And it surprised her totally, because she tried her best not to be that obvious with her behavior the last two weeks.

“How did you know? Was it that evident?” She asked him in a surprised and slightly ashamed tone, not able to hold a gaze with him anymore. It was embarrassing for her to pull others into her problems that much.

“Hmm, I would say so. Everybody in the mansion noticed that you are acting with him quite differently than before at the moment. Especially after the...You know.... Like there is a battle in your head, you have to fight on your own. We let you be for the time being, hoping that you would open yourself if you felt the time was right for it. After everything we have been through, we were sure you would come around if you couldn’t make it out on your own.” Still smiling at her, Otto assured her that everything was alright and nothing to be ashamed of.

“What exactly bothers you so much, Emilia-sama?” Frederica asked gently and waited patiently for the half-elf to answer her question.

Emilia took a deep breath and tried to form her question in her head. She could trust them with everything she had on her heart. She definitely knew that. Normally, she would go with every issue she had so far to her knight, but because said knight was the problem itself, she had to rely on other persons in her camp for that matter.

“Alright, but you have to promise me first that you won't tell Subaru. It is reaaally important for me right now.” She scowled to them with a stern and serious face as if her life would be tied to that. 

It was no wonder, because everybody knew by now, how Emilia’s stand was with promises. Frederica and Otto only nodded honestly, telling her that everything she told them would be safe with them.

“It’s probably obvious by now that my relationship with Subaru is a very special one. And after the events of Vollachia I was thinking thoroughly about how to confess to him. Due to the sexual education I am not sure anymore, if I reaaaallllyyy love him like a lover would do.” The silver haired woman argued with herself in a voice which betrayed her normal gentle silver belled tone. It was so full of sadness, confusion and frustration.

The merchant and maid blinked at her, not expecting this turn of events. They were still about to learn about their own romantic feelings for each other right now, but maybe this could be a benefit for them all together in that regard.

“I understand Emilia-sama, but why are you believing that? Is this the reason why you are avoiding him physically?” Frederica asked her softly but eagerly while Emilia was grimacing  to hear the “avoiding part”.

The half-elf nodded slowly and spoke further. “Yes, before the whole “sex-thing” I was sure I would totally love him in a romantic way. But now, after studying references on how a romantic couple should act, I don’t see us there anymore. And so I tried to stay away from him because the books told me that we are probably not meant to be together in that way. Instead, all I wanted was to take us to a base where everything should be alright and nobody would suffer or get hurt in the end. But…”

“ are not happy with it, right?” Otto answered for her, guessing where this would end up.

“Yes, I am unhappy, because I liked what we had the last few weeks. And I still like it when he is physically near me or touches me. Of course not to the extent like in the romances.” A slight blush covered her cheeks and the tips of ears, not looking in their direction anymore. “But we are not like it should be, not like the books told me.” 

The pretty woman was extremely frustrated by now while Frederica was only giggling to herself.

“Lady Emilia, it was probably my fault. Let me explain something to you. I gave you books as references how a romantic relationship could be, but not how it should be. These books were written like that, because they were selling better in that form. Nobody wants to read about complicated romance. But the funny part is that in real life romance is most of the time complicated.” The blonde maid smiled towards Otto who was gulping in response and avoided eye contact with the blonde maid, trying to say something to Emilia.

“Frederica is right, there isn’t something like a manual about what romantic love should look like or must be. Not every couple fell in love at first sight, were always happy together or something like that. There could be pretty huge differences between each person and relationships.”

“Then, how could I tell what my feelings for him are? I mean, I reeaaally love him. But at the same time, I’m not able to him… But mostly it’s like that, because I don’t know how sexual attraction should feel like for me or how I could clear the difference between all those complicated processes in my mind and body.” The silver haired woman nearly yelled at them clearly very frustrated by her lack of understanding regarding her own emotions and feelings.

Otto on the other hand got a bit uncomfortable that they now were already in an area, he didn’t want to be again. Not after what happened last time, but then Frederica said something to the half-elf tearing him out of his thoughts.

“Emilia-sama, you are too hard on yourself. You learned the real thing about human attraction two weeks ago. Maybe you are not ready to feel something like sexual attraction right now. But you could still love Subaru as a lover. You should act more like what your heart wishes. There is nothing wrong with doing so. You are inexperienced with romance, but you will never know what could be, if you don’t give him and yourself a chance to discover what both of you want to be. You have to grow with each other and don’t expect that everything will be just fine with a confession or that it will be smooth till the end of time without working on it.”

After her speech, Emilia was a bit wordless herself. She hadn’t thought about it like that and was angry at herself for her own ignorance. Feeling her discomfort, Otto uttered something to her as well.

“I think you are just doing fine with Natsuki-san. Have a bit of faith in him and yourself that regardless of what you both chose for your relationship everything will be alright in the end. Having been through so much together, I don’t think there is anything that could harm your relationship at all anymore. If you refuse to try, then there is no chance for a growth between you two. You trust him, right? Then entrust him with your heart and feelings, too.” Otto smiled at her, hoping he could help her and his buddy as well with his words.

“You two are so wonderful, I don’t deserve something like that. But what if our expectations in terms of romance are totally different? What if I never want to…with him? Isn’t it how it should be?” Emilia was further unsure of herself and begged the two people in front of her with her pretty amethyst eyes to give her some answers for her conflicted mind.

Emilia had faith in Subaru that no matter what was happening, he would always be by her side. But she didn’t want to break his heart or wanted to make things worse between them. Alternatively, there was also the possibility she wanted something for the future and he did not? There was also Rem in the picture of all things, clearly making the situation a bit more difficult than it normally would be.

“I believe there is only one way to find out. You have to be more open with him and speak more with him in that regard. Ask him questions about his feelings and what he thinks about you and your relationship. Don’t let him scratch only the surface. He should be as detailed as possible and that counts of course for you, too. I know, it could be very, very embarrassing and uncomfortable. But the key to a healthy relationship is honesty and the trait to talk about everything together. This goes not only for romance, but also for true friendship. Like Otto-kun said, have faith in your relationship with him. And for the other part of your question….” Otto gulped and slid defeated down the sofa while he was witnessing a sparkle in Frederica’s eyes. He knew there would come something “sex-related” out of her mouth right away.

Surprisingly for the merchant, the blonde demi-human didn’t say her thoughts out loud, instead walking over to Emilia to whisper something into her ear.

“There are options for you, to learn about your own sex drive. I also gave you a book about self-pleasuring, right? For a romantic relationship it could be wise to know something about your own body and mindset. What fantasies you like or where you like to be touched and so on. But if you have nothing at all, then it’s alright, too. In any case, you have to explore and try something in that area to clarify what you want and don't want in a romantic relationship. Only then you could be truthful with each other, once you are aware of what you desire and what you don’t.” Frederica winked at the half-elf and sat down again on her original place while Emilia was blushing furiously and Otto was about to disappear somewhere under the table. 

Witnessing the red face of Emilia, Otto knew it could only be a very, very embarrassing thing Frederica told her. And he had no intentions to find out more about it.

The half-elf thought it would be really strange to touch yourself like normally somebody else should touch you for the preparation of making love. It didn’t make sense to her at first, but after the explanation from Frederica, she could catch the logical thought about it. It’s simply to learn more about yourself so that you could discuss with a lover about it and try to figure out what both could expect from each other. This of course was only one reason. Based on what she read about it, it should be a good helper for other situations like stress relief or something like that, too. But there was the old basic problem with it. The silver haired woman had not really the drive for it so far or a motivation to do or explore it. Or maybe she lacked only the imagination for it? It couldn’t be helped. She should ask the people in front of her how it should be done.

“Soooo… Self-pleasuring... It’s a normal thing to do, right? Then you two are also doing it?” The half-elf asked far too emotionless for her own good, not knowing that this could be quite a rude question.

But of course Emilia never had bad intentions with her questions. It was more that she tried to cover up her lack of common-sense with logical thinking. The truth was, there was no other option for her. She had no role models like parents for it and no one ever explained something to her in that area. All she could do was simply to ask others.

Frederica was naturally beet red by now. She had to know that Emilia could be quite bold, witnessing their last conversation about the topic. Not because she was rude, but more that she tried to connect the dots with logical sense. And so the blonde maid had to deal with her question like a totally professional while Otto was coughing somewhere under the table, ringing after air and blue from lack of breathing. Federica sighed to herself, but then an idea came to her mind and she began to speak to Emilia in a whispering tone again.

“Emilia-sama, I think there is a more important question to discuss right now. Do you believe that Subaru-kun touches himself while he’s thinking about you?” She smirked at the half-elf in front of her. 

Glad to know that she won the fight, after seeing her face red like a tomato from neck to the tips of her ear. 

“Keep that in mind, while you are trying to be more open with him, right? Or you could think about that while you are trying to touch yourself? Maybe it could help you with your own imagination after all?”

This was maybe a bit nasty from the blonde maid, but she liked to be something like a matchmaker for these two idiots. She knew they would come around eventually. But this was also payback for all of Subaru’s teasing towards her since the time she started working for Roswaal again.

“Isn’t it false to use him like that in my mind?” Emilia mumbled more to herself than to Frederica, but the other demi-human had of course an answer for that, too.

“No Emilia-sama, your mind is yours and yours alone. Everything that happens in your head is your own decision and nobody has to know about it, if you don’t want to share it. Our mind is the only thing where we are truly free and nobody could ever take that away from us. Make you free from any boundaries in your head and let your thoughts run without judging them. It is absolutely not necessary to label thoughts firsthand.”

Finally, Emilia had no more questions for the time being and probably wasn’t able to ask further anymore, still embarrassed of the implantation from Frederica. But the silver haired woman had also a few more answers for her dilemma now. All she needed to do was trust herself and Subaru with their inner feelings and bond, free herself from any restrictions and concerns and be completely honest with him and herself in terms of their relationship. As she sighed, she realized it was easier said than done. 

It probably needed like everything else in life practice to master this task. But her knight was important to her in more ways than one and so she would give her everything to find the best way possible with him for the future of their relationship. She thanked Frederica and Otto for their time, although Otto was probably not getting that she even left the room with new confidence and already a plan forming in her mind. Emilia missed her Subaru and wanted as soon as she could to smooth things out again, but first hand like always in life, she had other work to do down the road.

6 Hours later at Otto’s workplace again

“Hey Otto, do you have a minute for me?” Subaru yelled cheerfully at the merchant, standing at the open door frame without even bothering to knock.

“Natsuki-san, what can I do about you? After all, you don’t seem to care anymore to knock at a door and also like to disturb people as you please?” Otto’s left eyebrow twitched while he was looking at Subaru. All of whom he could see was only his head, because the paper work on his table covered up the rest of his sight as usual.

“Nahhh Otto, don’t try to hide your happiness to see me. We both recognize that you don’t have a drive for work without myself in your presence. Or have you exchanged “ma amazin’ self” for a certain blonde maid?” 

Subaru smirked at Otto as the merchant got embarrassed being asked about his relationship with Frederica. But he tried to play it cool, not wanting to grant Subaru his teasing success.

“What do you mean by that again, Natsuki-san? We both know that your imitation of him is really bad and that he isn’t my type at all. Even not after the one time he had to change into a cute maid uniform for a whole day after losing a bet. You of all people should be aware, he’s too small for my liking.” Otto countered Subaru’s provocation and laughed in his direction while he was holding up a paper to his own face. 

Subaru was now standing next to him, also smiling from ear to ear because of the smooth reaction of the merchant.

“Nice counter Otto. Ah, how I miss Garfiel and all the pranks we could do with him. I hope he will be back soon. But more importantly, you know you could talk with me about everything, right? Furthermore, I am your best man.” Subaru put a hand dramatically to his heart, doing as would nothing hurt him more than not being accepted by the merchant next to him.

Otto sighed in defeat. Subaru was a really good friend and it couldn’t hurt to be more open with him about something like that. As long as he had not to talk about sex with him, too. It was nearly as disturbing as with Emilia to only think about it. No, probably a bit more than that.

“Natsuki-san, if you refer to me and Frederica, there isn’t much to discuss about it. We are looking where this will all lead without pressure or many expectations. But so far, I am glad how things are developing between us. We are happy and that’s all that matters. And this brings me to my first question again. What can I do about you? You never come here without wanting something?” Otto had a frown on his face still looking at his papers, but of course he didn’t mean it like that. It was their unique way to handle each other.

“Autsch, that hurt. Can I not look just after my Bro and be happy for him?” Subaru groaned to himself, not able to hold his persona up anymore “But there is also some advice I wanted from you, if it's alright?” He confessed in a much more serious tone to his friend now while his voice was sounding more sad than usual.

Feeling his discomfort, Otto stopped looking at his papers and locked eyes with the black haired man, nodding to him to go on with his talk.

“It’s about Emila…” As if the merchant couldn’t have imagined that till now. These two are really idiots. “I don’t know how to approach her anymore. It seems after her sexual education, she is totally uncomfortable with me around her and I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t want to pressure her, but I don’t want to look like I don't care either.”

Otto felt like he had a deja-vu of his talking with Emilia today. Of course he kept his promise and wouldn’t tell Subaru that she was here earlier. He would try to help him in the same manier, like he or more like Frederica attempted to help Emilia at that time.

“You know Natsuki-san, I think you did the right thing by giving her space after she made it clear that she needed it. But you should also make it obvious that you want to support her with everything that goes around in her head. Of course, you can’t force her to open up to you, but you should be straight with her and yourself. Say exactly what you want from her, don’t joke around with it and give her the chance to think about it after that. Don’t expect that everything will go smoothly after only one sentence of clarification. It's no secret, Emilia is very inexperienced and so are you with romance. All in her head is probably confusing her to no end right now after witnessing that there is more to romance than just holding hands and giving a kiss here and there. But have faith in your feelings and in your relationship with her. She would never want to hurt you in any form. So trust in what you two have and let your heart take the lead for once. I am sure everything will be alright in the end. Try to talk to her again and see how it goes.” 

Otto smiled more to himself than to Subaru. Proud that he could be this smooth if he wanted to be.

Subaru was a bit lost for words at first. He loved Otto as a close friend and companion. He was really glad for his wisdom. Undoubtedly, it couldn’t be that simple with Emilia. It never was and would almost certainly never be. But he had to try and fight for what was important to him. The knight had to work at trying to convince the half-elf that regardless of what would happen or how long she needed time, he would be here for her and support her all the way. But he also wanted to make a point, that he was wounded to be locked out from her thoughts the last two weeks.

Of course, that’s not the way he would thank Otto for his good advice. That’s not their way to interact with each other after all.

“Ufff, I probably should have just asked Garfiel for guidance. At least his version would be a lot easier to follow. Like “Yo captain, ma amazin’ self wald just’ve beat’n her up and grind he`to ma bed.””

Both men laughed very hard at Subaru’s bad imitation of Garfiel again. The young black-haired man’s mind was now able to feel a little hope and the ashen gray haired man was happy he could assist him in his own way.

They spent a bit more time together and Subaru was even helping Otto with his work, although the knight got yelled at every paper he touched in the wrong way. After work, they hung out in the yard, drinking some wine and enjoying each other's company. Normally, Subaru didn’t like to drink, but with Otto it was a different scenario. Like their relationship could be a lot more open with a bit of alcohol. Not that it was a good thing per se, but here and there Subaru didn’t mind it.

They had so much burden to carry in the past and their sanity was far away from intact, but times like this were refreshing air to the young men. Just sitting there and having normal “women problems” or simply discussing what their next prank on Garfiel could be. They needed the time to take a deep breath and for a change had simple lifes like everyone else in the world. It didn’t make their burdens forgotten, but it helped to clear their minds from everything so far.

As a way of letting the day fade away, Subaru took a soaking bath after his meeting with Otto. Just as he stripped off his clothes and let the hot water heal his tense skin, the young man was lost in his thoughts again. He felt a lot more refreshed after his interaction with the merchant. It wasn’t like he didn’t love his time with Emilia, too. Hell, he would spend 24 hours with her, if it could be possible. But she couldn’t replace the simpliness by being with a “Bro” where no words were needed. The young man chuckled to himself. His Emilia-tan was simple and at the same time absolutely not easy to handle.

Most of the time she didn’t understand his flirty nature, but she was so cute,  strong, beautiful, kind and always wanted to grow for the better. They had each other's backs countless times physically and mentally in the past. Their support for one another was limitless by now. And on the other side their feelings towards each other were complicated till no end. And not only on the side of Emilia. Indeed, Subaru was more aware of what he felt for the pretty half-elf and nonetheless, for the longest time, he wasn’t sure how he would react if she would accept him by saying “yes” to a romantic relationship with him. Was he ready to give her everything that came with it? Could he make her happy with all that she wanted and expected from him?

But like Otto said, if they would never try, there could never be a chance for that. He hoped Emilia would give him an opportunity to sit down and talk with her about it. Afterwards, they could only go with the flow and look where their feelings would carry them. Of course they had to work a lot on their relationship, but meanwhile he already loved challenges – he loved everything that came with her. The same way he loved her good sides, he also loved her bad sides. For the longest time, he knew she wasn’t perfect and it was totally fine. How boring would it be, if she accepted him for a romance a long time ago.

They weren’t ready back then and even now they had to look first with a couple of dates and a lot of open discussions about what the future could bring for them. But the black haired man was sure of one thing. He would support Emilia through everything. And all he wanted was that she knew that. Of course he was scared of being rejected by her, but if that were the case, that wouldn't mean he refused to support her any longer. However, the truest expression of love is when you love someone no matter whether you meet their expectations or not. He knew their bond was so strong that it would even survive this worst case scenario. But as long as there was hope, he didn’t want to drag him down all the time. It wasn’t like she had rejected him already.

And so after a long good bath, alone and reflecting, the man decided it was time to leave the bathroom and head to bed. Tomorrow he would try to talk to Emilia again and make some points clear to her. He put a towel around his waist and looked for a change of clothes. But of course, shorthinking he could be, he had forgotten them in his room. He mumbled some curses to himself while Subaru was deciding about what to do now. It was late already and most of the staff should be in bed anyway, so Subaru decided it couldn’t hurt to go only in a towel back to his room. Going back with dirty clothes would only make the bath totally pointless.

However, he wasn’t of course completely naked, but hopefully none of the minors would see him like that. And so Subaru sneaked in best stealth-style through the dark corridors, turning the last passage before he could reach his room. Suddenly the young man bumped into someone or better said this person bumped into him in a hurry. It wasn’t  normal at this hour and especially in the dark to meet someone at all.

Initially, he held himself steady by instinct, but the other person wasn't so lucky and lost his steady when he crashed into him. All Subaru could do without losing his towel was to hold the other person with one arm against his half-naked and still wet chest. He could make out the silhouette and body structure of what appeared to be a female. The only thing he could hope for was that neither one of the young girls nor Ram crashed into him. He couldn’t decide which was more disturbing in that situation. Subaru already heard the words “Disgusting!” and “Barusu, you pervert!” in his head in an endless loop, yelled at him by a pink haired maid.

But then he heard a silver belled voice instead mumbling against his chest “Ahhhh, I am reaaaaally sorry for that. I should better watch out. Is everything alright?”

Subaru was quite shocked to his core to hear this familiar voice in this situation.

“Yes I am alright. But Emilia-tan, is that you?”

“Subaru?” The voice exclaimed as much in surprise as him while her body was trying to get a bit more balance against his still wet chest.

In his half embrace, he pulled her closer to the window where the moonlight was shining in, so he could see her more clearly. It was indeed Emilia in only her tight and gray nightgown. Subaru let go of her immediately, not wanting to scare her even more. They could now stand in front of each other with plenty of space between them.

There was no end to Subaru's shame. Of course he had to bump into her right now in his current state. Couldn’t it have been Otto? He thought that would be less embarrassing than the current situation. Because there was nothing he could do about the situation, he took a deep breath. All he could think of was to try to play it as cool and as calm as possible. This meant, as cool and calm someone could be with only a towel around his hips, wet from bathing and standing in front of his dream girl who did avoid him physically the last two weeks, because she got “the talk” and was now in every sense in a scene some shameless porn would start. Life was so funny sometimes to Subaru.

“Mili, are you alright? Have I hurt you or something? Sorry, I didn’t look out either.” He spoke in a relative monotone voice, not wanting to give away what his inner mindset was actually doing to him.

“Thank you, but I am fine. What you are….doing….here...?” Her speech got slower every millisecond as she was the first time witnessing his current state of clothing or not clothing in his case.

He couldn’t interpret her face, it was far too emotionless for this weird scenario. Naturally some red covered her cheeks, but she didn’t look away from his body either. She studied him without a change in her facial features. From head to toe and then from toe to head again as she couldn’t quite process what she was seeing right now. It lasted about a minute, as she was only staring at him and then as if she drew herself out of her dream bubble, she yelled all of sudden at the young man.

“Subaru, you dunderhead! What are you doing here in just a towel?”

The half-elf seemed a bit angry, but also giggled to herself after her outburst, like she found it a bit funny to see him like this. It is probably the first time she saw him in a state without clothes. Even his hair was still down and wet from his bath. Subaru wasn't sure how to respond to her question or to her staring at him in that regard. He decided to answer openly to her, delighted that she spoke to him relatively normal for the circumstances.

“I took a bath recently, but forgot my change of clothes to bring with me. Because of that I tried to sneak back to my room without bumping into someone. And here I am now...” Emilia giggled even more to herself after hearing her knight’s silliness.

This calmed Subaru a great deal, because it was the first time after two weeks, she was somewhat relaxed in front of him. And that even in such a suggestive situation. He wondered what she thought of him in this state. Her face gave nothing away so far, but she was surely checking him out. Yet, it wasn’t of course the right time to ask such a question. In his mind, there was something else more important.

“And what are YOU doing out there in the dark, princess?” The man smiled sincerely at her, still holding the towel with his left hand to prevent it from falling while his right hand was going through his ruffled hair to tame it a bit.

It took her again a few seconds to answer, staring at him as she had something to imprint in her head. And then she got red all over while Emilia was getting ready to say her reasons for being here at this hour.

“I just couldn’t sleep. Too much is going on in my head and I...kind of...missed you. No, I reaaaally missed being with you. If that makes any sense, I just wanted to see you out of the blue and talk  to you, if that makes any sense at all. And of course I am sorry for the last two weeks, too. I didn't treat you fairly at all.” Emilia looked away from him, still blushing furiously and drawing some circles into the ground with her right feet while she was waiting for his response.

If Subaru wouldn’t already love her, he just could fall in love with her over and over again. How freaking cute can someone be? Emilia was truly an angel and never could anything take that away from her. Even if she could sometimes be difficult to handle, in the end she was worth everything the knight went through so far. The half-elf was his light, his motivation, his love and simply his everything.

“Emilia-tan, I am not mad at you. Maybe a little bit disappointed and sad, but not angry. After all, I think you couldn’t do something that would make me feel that way. I can kinda guess why you avoided me, and I understand why. But one thing, I beg you?” He smiled at her honestly, trying to encourage her to work with him together in that regard.

“Yes, what is it Subaru?”

She tried to look him in the eyes, but his current dress code made it a bit difficult for her. She never saw him like that before and there was only one word to describe her inner feelings about it – overwhelmed, and not only her mind but her body as well.

“Even if you have an issue with me in some way after “the talk” with Frederica and Otto, please don’t cut me out, alright?” The black-haired man answered her in the most gentle way someone could let a voice ring.

As he felt her discomfort again, he tried to shorten his statement, because after all, this wasn't the right moment and situation to talk about everything right now. At one time she was looking at his body very intensely and curious and then it seemed as if she wanted to get rid of the picture immediately. Like Otto said, probably one smooth sentence would not be enough to bring them on a higher level in their relationship.

“Emilia, all I want for the time being is that you are speaking to me in an honest way about your thoughts regarding me and our relationship, alright?” The same gentle voice as before caressed Emilia’s ear. He was so full of love and sincerity. It almost hurt the half-elf, because of what she had done to him the last two weeks. Everything in this situation was so full of Subaru himself and it gave her immediate comfort and ease.

She nodded at him, thinking about what to answer to her knight. She then began saying her phrase after a little sigh.

“I’m such a bonehead. You know, I am not very good with all these feelings and emotions, but I should have had more faith in you for not judging me. But it seems that now is not the right time to discuss this. Subaru, can you promise me something in return? Although you weren't very good with your promises in the past, at least you were going to try your best.” 

She lifted her head to smile at him, but was still a bit unsure of herself and how he would react to her request.

“First and all, nobody says “bonehead” anymore. But that aside, I will do everything that would make our bond stronger.” The black-haired man underlined his answer with absolute sincerity and sparkle in his nasty brown eyes.

“Then...Please be absolutely honest with me in the future, too. Everything I ask you, you will give me an answer without teasing or joking. Just the truth and nothing less as the truth. You don’t miss out on something and don’t add something to your thoughts and feelings. I want to know everything in return from you as long as we are keeping this rule.”

Subaru gulped at her demand. It would mean to be totally vulnerable with each other. They would try to be open with each other in a way they never had done before. At least not what directly their relationship concerned. This could be a great chance, but had also a huge potential to hurt immensely at some points. What a long road they have traveled together to be at this point now. 

Either of them had their own issues and mental problems, but could now finally find a base with each other to put their relationship onto the next level. Hopefully a much more mature and healthy level for them. Emilia was a lot more mature herself and finally opened up about the idea to further their bond. There was no doubt in Subaru’s mind that he should take this promise seriously. He appreciated how much it meant for her and of course for him, too.

Some time ago, hearing her request would have probably caused him to run away. Besides the fact she knew he loved her and that he wished for a serious relationship with the half-elf, she knew nothing about the details in his heart. Sure, Emilia wasn’t ready at that time, but neither was him. Had the young man very often tried to hide his true feelings behind teasing and joking. But now, it should and it could change between them. Like the way he ever dreamed of. It may take some time for it to change slowly, we are talking about Emilia and himself after all, but it was the first time both of them wanted to truly focus on their relationship.

“Alright Emilia, I am going to open my mind for you without any other incidents. Just my pure thoughts and feelings, regardless of what you are asking me as long as we need this rule. Even if it is needed forever. I am sincere that this would be a great benefit for both of us and could help to understand each other better on another level.” Subaru smiled at her all the way while he was looking in her pretty amethyst eyes to underline his seriousness about the subject.

“Pinky promise?” She asked him with a stern and serious face as if this promise was the most important thing in her life until now.

“Yes, pinky promise for my Emilia-tan.” Subaru could see his own reflection in her pretty amethyst eyes, knowing by now, that he couldn’t deny her anyway.

And so they locked their promise for the future. Nobody could know what the future will bring for them, but one thing was for sure. While their bond would never be the same as before, there was also the hope of being so much more together than ever before.

“You know, normally I would like to hug you now?” He winked at her without a second thought about what he just suggested and she couldn't stop blushing at his comment, not able to  count anymore how much that happened already in this scene. 

The silver haired woman was probably not so uncomfortable with the hug itself, but more of the current state of clothes they were in.

The black haired man’s thoughts were already wandering at a dangerous edge “What the hell Subaru? Truth in all honor, but hugging her now would probably lead to more problems than one. Feeling her breasts through her tight gray nightgown against your chest, while you are only covered by a small towel is developing the already cheap porn scene here even further. At least I could hug her with both arms, because the towel would be held by another part of my body,  pressing against HER lower body parts, too.... Dammit you smutty thoughts! Get out of my head already!”

It wasn’t like he never thought of her in a far more intimate way. But he didn’t like to give it that much room in his head, because she was far too innocent for her own good. However, this moment wasn’t perhaps the best time to start with the dirty thoughts, because she was just right in front of him and the idea of popping an erection now wasn’t the best one Subaru could think of.

Fortunately he didn’t know who bumped into him at first, was it like the real situation of the imagination in his mind only in milder form. In other words, he tried to play it cool while his left hand was holding the towel a bit more away from his body. Better safe than sorry and hoping she hadn’t lost her mind to go along with his suggestion. What a gambler Subaru sometimes was.

“What? I think it couldn’t hurt to start with an honest thought of myself.” He tried to underline it cockily, but a sweat was already building on his right eyebrow in anticipation of her reaction.

“Subaru, you are so silly sometimes. I believe we should move that to a later point of time.” She giggled at him still being red, but also not really able to keep her eyes away from his body.

The silver haired woman let her eyes wander between the floor, his body and his own nasty brown ones. She had to admit, he was not only handsome (she loved his eyes the most), but had a nice physique to look at, too. She never saw it like that before and it made some crazy things with her body and mind she never felt before. She couldn’t put a finger on why it was like that. Subaru was still her Subaru and precious knight even in that state and it wasn’t overall sexual like in the novels she read so far. She couldn’t quite catch a clear thought for it now, but she would deal with it later in private.

They laughed together about Subaru’s silliness, before they matched their time for tomorrow to talk properly about their state of relationship and what the future could bring for them. The next step in their relationship was going to be exciting and nerve wracking, they both realized.


End of chapter one!


Ending notes: This got a bit longer than I originally planned. It was more of an intro for me to deal with a few issues I had with their relationship in canon, before I could start to write them in a way I want them to be. But now I think we have a good base for them to develop a healthy, romantic relationship from that point. And yes, the last scene was only there to give Emilia good fantasies of her knight for her alone time in the future! :-)

I played with the idea to write a good romance between them a long time ago, but didn’t trust myself to pull it off. This is one of my favorite ships overall, but their state of relationship in canon made it too uncomfortable for me to just directly write fluff or smut of them.

And as you see in this story, I didn’t go for the idea that Emilia jumped Subaru’s bones immediately after hearing where babies were coming from. This is kind of a slow-burn story, because I think they need to work a lot on themselves and their relationship together, so it could be a good one in a romantic way.

Emilia has no shame in canon, and so in my story she is not ashamed of sex itself, but has more issues in her mind to understand what it meant for her bond with Subaru. So far she thought of romance in another way, a much more innocent way. And after hearing the “real thing”, it gives her great trouble to deal with everything again, because it makes it a lot more complicated for her than before.

The mentioned relationship between Otto and Frederica is my plan to try to give Subaru and Emilia something like role models and persons they can get good advice from. And these two are the only ones in Camp Emilia who could fulfil this role.

I don’t plan to expand the cast in the next chapter. I cut out all the characters I thought wouldn't have a great impact on the story at all. But all of them are mentioned in some way in the story. I got rid of Rem as well, not because I dislike her. It is more due to her current state in canon. We don't know how the story would develop and what her character would be in the future. But of course I have to deal with Subaru’s feelings for her in this story. They are there regardless of Rem’s current state in canon.

And so I will deal with it the best way possible out of respect for her character and Subaru of course. But first and all, this is Subaru x Emilia and not how to overcome feelings for Rem. It would be probably more like his feelings for her are on hold or something like that. We will see how it turns out in the next chapter(s).

I don’t know how long this story will be. I go with whatever looks natural for them in this story. But we have a lot of things to experience in the future, before I would see this story as done. This was, how I said, only the intro so far for this story.

Next chapter, I think will heavily focus on Subaru and Emilia and maybe we are already getting to some “dirty” scenes. Emilia need to catch up a bit on some points. :-P

Big thanks to everybody on Discord who helped with beta reading it. You made a huge difference for the outcome of this story! <3