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At My Worst

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Sadness. Shame. Guilt.

Emotions flash through Izuku, roiling in his mind and making his heart beat faster. His wolf self struggles to overcome the episode, claws straining to form from his digits. He fights it, clawing against the sheets and groaning in pain.

Young wolves go through so much trauma, and Izuku’s cubhood wasn’t particularly easy. He was shunned and abandoned, bullied by alphas. He was left to die in the wild, too weak to hunt for himself. He was on the verge of death when Toshinori’s pack found him.

Back then, Shouto was just a young pup himself, although he was much bigger and stronger than Izuku. He sniffed Izuku curiously, observing him with one piercing blue eye, and one brown one. Back then, everything was frightening to Izuku, but Shouto, with his cool gaze and beautiful fur had never been that.

 

Right on cue, Shouto bursts into his room, hair disheveled and eyes wide with alarm. He had clearly been on patrol and hadn’t had time to dress. He rushes to Izuku’s side in human form, sticking close and cuddling him, as if to shield him from the world. He doesn’t ask if he’s okay, just places his forehead against Izuku’s, and allows the pain to reverberate through their link.

When they were pups, Izuku would often wake up in the middle of the night, whining in pain. Shouto would stir awake and stand on top of him, hackles raised. He would stay there, as if to share Izuku’s pain, although their bond wasn’t as strong as it is now. When Izuku would start to calm down, he’d nuzzle his neck and lick his fur, and nibble at his ears gently until Izuku fell back asleep. Shouto’s startlingly white fur, interspersed with beautiful patches of crimson, was as much home to Izuku as his bond with the rest of the pack.

 

Much like before, Izuku’s breath steadies, and Shouto traces soothing circles into his arm. He lets his weight rest on Izuku, arms still caged protectively around him.

Izuku sighs into his neck. “This feels good.”

Shouto shuffles a little but doesn’t say anything, pressing his lips to Izuku’s temple.

“You were on patrol, weren’t you?”

“Five minutes,” Shouto bargains, closing his eyes.

“If anything happens-“

“Then Bakugou and Kirishima can handle it,” Shouto finishes for him.

“I’m sorry for bothering you like this,” Izuku whispers, guilt creeping into his voice.

“Shhh. I’m having none of that,” Shouto whispers back, raising his head to look at him. “I choose to do this.”

“Why?” Izuku asks, before kicking himself internally.

They’d avoided this topic for so long. They were clearly meant for each other; their link as strong as any mates’. Izuku cringes even more. Don’t think of the M word.

“Just because,” Shouto huffs, burying his face back into Izuku’s hair.

He’s glad Shouto isn’t the talkative type, but now Izuku can’t stop thinking of the M word. They haven’t even sealed the deal, so to speak.

He becomes suddenly aware of Shouto’s weight on top of him, the tautness of his muscles, even when he’s relaxed. Izuku struggles not to touch him.

Belonging to a pack meant nudity was normal – they shredded clothes constantly, and sometimes the wolves didn’t even bother putting on clothes after transforming. Izuku has seen his fair share of naked bodies, and it isn’t usually a thing. Not until moments like these.

Shouto senses his distress. “You okay?” He looks at him, eyes razor sharp.

“I’m okay, just thirsty,” Izuku whispers hoarsely. He tries to cover his face with his hand, sure that his cheeks are burning.

“Mhmmm-“ Shouto hums. He’s still on top of Izuku.

He licks Izuku’s jaw, an endearing gesture for a wolf. Except he’s in human form, and it riles Izuku up even more. He shuts his eyes in embarrassment, unable the fact that he, Midoriya Izuku, has an erection because his childhood wolf best friend licked his face. Or whatever.

Shouto’s eyes widen a fraction. “Oh.”

“Oh.”

“Stop saying that, oh my god!”

Shouto bursts out laughing, hugging him even tighter. Izuku feels his body shake with it. And god, Shouto rarely laughs, but when he does, it’s like the sun bursting from the clouds. It’s so beautiful and also not helping Izuku’s situation one bit.

“Hasn’t it been five minutes already? Go back on patrol!”

“I can’t really leave you like this, can I?” Shouto asks playfully, eyes full of mirth. He’s so beautiful.

Izuku feels his dick twitch, and he feels his cheeks burn even more.

He feels Shouto swallow against him. He hides his face in Izuku’s hair. “Do you want me to… help you?”

Izuku wants to die, that’s what he wants.

Shouto looks at him, and his eyes are clear, watching Izuku’s emotions pass through his face.

He starts to lift off him. “Just tell me if you want me to go-“

“Don’t go-“ Izuku chokes. God, that’s probably the most embarrassing thing he could say.

Shouto stills. Izuku can see his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows again.

He curls down and presses his body against Izuku again. It’s different this time. Where his weight was a warm and comforting blanket, Izuku is now hyperaware of Shouto’s skin, smooth and hot against him.

His lips press softly against the base of his ear as he takes Izuku’s scent in. He kisses down into his neck, and Izuku shudders, hands gripping Shouto’s back. He barely stops himself from transforming them into claws for the second time that night. He scratches his back lightly, causing Shouto to grunt.

Shouto pauses from where he was sucking at Izuku’s jaw – he couldn’t tell when Shouto had started doing that – to kiss him on the lips. One light peck.

He stops and stares at him intently.

“Izuku.”

“We’re soulmates,” Shouto says simply.

Izuku looks up at him in wonder. It was simple, really. “I know,” he whispers back.

Shouto kisses him again, taking his time tracing Izuku’s lips with his tongue. His hands travel up, under the hem of Izuku’s shirt, spreading deliberately cold fingers against the flat of Izuku’s stomach.

That draws interesting sounds out of Izuku. Shouto bites his lips, and Izuku moans.

Shouto fingers the waistband of his shorts, stretching it taut then letting it snap back to Izuku’s stomach. He whimpers.

Shouto pauses, watching him. Izuku is a mess, shirt bunched up, lips bitten red and slick with saliva. His whole face is flushed, accentuating his freckles. He’s definitely hard now, although Shouto hasn’t touched him yet.

“Shouto,” he says, voice hoarse, and Shouto almost loses it then and there.

He squeezes Izuku’s nipple with one hand, and Izuku lets out a moan. When he palms Izuku’s bulge through his shorts, he whimpers underneath him.

“I’m going to pull your briefs off,“ he warns.

Before the cold air hits Izuku’s skin, Shouto’s hands warm him. Izuku sighs in relief.

Shouto grips harder, fingers digging into the skin inside his thigh. Izuku gasps.

Making his fingers incrementally warmer, Shouto finally touches his cock, and Izuku would have bucked up into his grasp if not for his firm grip on his hip, steadying his torso.

He circles the tip of Izuku’s cock with his thumb, and Izuku yells his name, his hips shaking.

Shouto knows Izuku is close, as wet as his cock is with precum. He rakes one fingernail up Izuku’s shaft, and he’s gasping Shouto’s name everywhere.

Shouto’s not really one to prolong Izuku’s pain when he’s this close. Not when it’s his first time.

He grips Izuku’s nipple with cold fingers in his right hand, and pumps his cock with warm fingers in his right hand, murderously slow, then stopping at the tip.

Izuku comes, bucking up into his grasp soundlessly, tears of relief streaming from his eyes.

Shouto stares at him in wonder, memorizing the planes of his face, the way his freckles dot his mottled skin. The way his hair sticks to his forehead with perspiration. He closes his eyes and memorizes the sound of Izuku saying his name over and over has he comes into his hand, hot and sticky.

Izuku calms down and his scent fills the room, wafting against Shouto. As an alpha, he has more control than most wolves but this – this is testing him.

Unfortunately, Shouto still has duties to fulfill – it’s been thirty minutes since he abandoned his patrol after all. So there’s nothing to do but bring his hand up to his lips and taste a bit of Izuku’s come on his tongue.

“Wh-what are you doing?” Izuku asks, face still burning and looking in disbelief at Shouto. He lowers his hand, leaving a bit of Izuku’s come on the corner of his mouth.

Izuku reaches up to wipe it away, but not before he takes a mental image. Todoroki Shouto with Izuku’s come on his lips? God.

“You taste good,” he says honestly, and Izuku honestly wants to smack him with a pillow. Damn Shouto and his alpha wolf sexy habits.

“Stay here,” Shouto says. Izuku hears the bathroom door open, and water running quickly.

He comes back with a towel and wipes Izuku off.

“Lock the door while I’m away,” he says, kissing Izuku’s forehead. “I’m going to kill anyone who sees you like this,” he mutters.

Izuku nods, settling back into the sheets. Shouto may have done most of the work, but he feels so tired.

Shouto kisses him on the tip of the nose. “Sweet dreams, Izuku.”

––––

“Where were you!?” Kirishima asks indignantly as Shouto resumes his rounds.

He sniffs the air suspiciously. “Oh my god, is that-?”

Shouto smirks.

“Oh god, no, don’t tell me, I don’t wanna know!” Kirishima shakes his head. “The pack is going to lose their shit when they hear about this, I mean you guys are practically mates now!”

“But seriously, I can’t believe you of all people would abandon the patrol!” Kirishima looks at him with newfound respect.

Shouto coughs. “Yeah, I mean, what’s more surprising is that it’s the other way around this time.”

Kirishima looks away, cheeks reddening. “Bakugou and I-“

“Are having far too many evening romps during duty.”

Kirishima hangs his head.

“And I forgive you.”

Kirishima looks up in surprise.

“Since I’ve done it now too,” he explains. “Good evening to you, then,” he says before transforming into his majestic white-and-red form and running off to watch the border.

“Good evening to you too, sir!” Todoroki was in a damn good mood today, and Kirishima wasn’t wasting that.