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If Only It Could Be.

Summary:

Modern AU.

When Aang began his training as the Avatar, he was forbidden from making relationships with others, for fear that the world would once more be threatened by the Avatars inability to choose between those they loved and the world they protected. However, even if it's against the rules set for him, Aang is desperate to have someone around he could talk to, just a friend was all he wanted! When he meets Katara, though, he discovers much more than friendship.

Notes:

I genuinely have no idea how often I'm gonna update this fic but I'll try to update as often as I can! Sorry if it's inconsistent tho :/

Also this is more of a prologue than a real chapter but whatever

Chapter 1: Reminiscing.

Chapter Text

five years ago...

Aang's whole body shook like a leaf as he sat in his room, unsure whether it was because of the cold winter air that was blowing in through his window, or because of how nervous he was. At thirteen, Aang had traveled just as much as any other Air nomad would have at his age. He'd seen the bustling city of Omashu in the Earth Kingdom and the flower lined streets of Caldera in the Fire Nation. He'd been to Agna Qel'a and seen the water roads- and now he was going back. Normally, he'd be excited for a trip, even if it was to a place he'd been before, but tonight? He couldn't be. He wasn't.

They'd taken practically everything from him already, and now they were taking him from his home? Gyatso was the last thing he had left, and Aang wasn't even allowed to stay with him. He felt tears sting at his eyes as he thought about everything he'd lost, just in the past few months. The Elder Monks had cut off his contact with Bumi and Kuzon, they'd refused to let him eat his meals or train with the other novice monks, they'd even moved him into a different room, far away from the other kids at the monastery. Now, Aang slept next to the Elder monks in one of the guest rooms they reserved for the rare occasion that an important adult would visit the monastery.

'That's what they think of me,' Aang suddenly thought, the realization hitting him like a punch in the stomach. 'They think I'm an adult!' Aang stood up, suddenly feeling very angry. His thirteenth birthday had only been two months ago! The fact that Aang had gotten his mastery tattoos didn't make him an adult! The fact that he was the Avatar didn't make him an adult! He was a child! He was just a normal kid, why didn't they understand that!?

Now Aang was crying, hard. The hot tears that poured down his face contrasted the swift rain that blew in from the window, but they did not serve any kind of comfort. He stood up, grabbing his staff. He rubbed his thumb across the wood, the smooth surface offering just a bit of familiarity, even as he felt like a stranger in the place he'd spent his whole life. As he looked at the window, a thought crossed his mind.

Appa was somewhere out there, past the rain and clouds, at the stables- resting among the other bison. It was cold and wet outside, but Aang really didn't care. 'If the elder monks are so convinced that I'm adult enough to go train in Water Bending at the North Pole all by myself that I'm sure they think I'll be just fine in a little storm...' his fists clenched around his staff and even in the dark of night, Aang could tell his knuckles had paled. Aang took a step forward, careful not to slip on the wet ground. With each step, each movement, Aang felt heavier than he ever had before; as though a weight was dragging his foot back down to the wet floor each time he moved it. Just before he got to the window though, he heard the door open. Aang whipped around on instinct, only to see Gyatso, standing there looking concerned and gentle as he often did when Aang was frustrated with his circumstances (which was often). The old man wasn't wearing his sleepwear, which Aang found a bit strange considering how late it was, but looking down at himself, he remembered that he hadn't bothered to change out of his acolyte robes either. 'Oh.'

"Aang?" Gyatso asked softly, taking a step forward and closing the door behind him. He spoke in the Southern Air Temple dialect, as he often did with Aang. The other elders all spoke the Ba Sing Se dialect of Earth Kingdom speak, since that was what most people considered to be the universal language. 'Aang needs to learn it faster, as the Avatar he needs to be able to communicate with all people,' they had decided, so now the only time Aang ever got to speak his native tongue was with Gyatso. "Were you going somewhere?"

Aang paused for a moment, but when he went to answer, he couldn't. All that came out was a pathetic whimper before the boy couldn't hold back the flood gates anymore and started sobbing uncontrollably. Just as his knees gave out, though, Gyatso rushed forward, catching Aang with one swift movement.

"I- Gyatso-" Aang tried to find the words but they wouldn't form correctly in his mouth, leaving him with no way to explain himself through his tears. Gyatso didn't seem to mind though.

"I was just coming to tell you," the elder monk said softly, guiding Aang towards the bed so that they could both sit down. "the other elders and I had..." he paused for a moment, trying to find the words. "A late night meeting, so to speak. I convinced them that, since you're so young and you're starting your training earlier than most Avatars did, you should be allowed to have your guardian with you to help you through the process," Aang's head shot up, his eyes wide and excited. "So, tomorrow morning, when you leave for the North Pole, I'll be coming with you," Gyatso smiled down at his pupil, who just barely managed to smile back.

"...Thank you..." Aang said quietly, burying his face in Gyatso's robes. He didn't feel any less upset, really, but at least he wouldn't be alone.

 


 

four years ago...

After just over a year, Aang had mastered Water Bending and moved on to Earth Bending. Gyatso and his student had moved from the Northern Water Tribe to Gaoling, where they would begin Aang's training in Earth Bending. 

"Earth is your opposite element, Aang," Gyatso had said on the way there, looking back at Aang from his position at the Bison's reigns. The two were riding on the back of Gyatso's bison, Gonpo, meanwhile Appa was following close behind. "I don't want you to expect that you will pick up the element of Earth as fast as you did Water," the older man released the reigns before moving over to where Aang sat on the Bison's saddle. 

"I know," Aang replied, fidgeting with the marbles he kept in his pocket. "I just wish we could have gone to Omashu instead of Gaoling so I could have learned with Bumi..." he sighed, placing the toys back inside his shirt. Gyatso furrowed his brow, and Aang was unsure whether it was out of disappointment or pity. 

"Aang, you know you aren't allowed to contact Prince Bumi, at least not until you're done with your training," Aang resisted the urge to roll his eyes, knowing these words all too well from when the other monks had said the same thing. "I know it's difficult for you, and if I could allow you to see him I would but if I did that-"

"They would try to separate us again," Aang continued solemnly.  

"Not just try," Gyatso replied softly. He gave his pupil a supportive pat on the shoulder before moving back to his place on Gonpo's head. The two didn't talk much for the rest of the ride. 

 

...

 

"Your stance is awful," Aang jumped at the sudden voice behind him, his heart beat racing. It was late, the sun had long since left its position in the sky. The boy had only wanted to practice on his own for a few more hours- just to try one more time to move the stupid rock he'd been given. The stone was just small enough to hold in his hand, and he could throw it just fine, but moving it with Earth Bending seemed impossible. As he turned around, he was confronted by a girl, maybe half a foot shorter than he was. Her hair was cropped fairly short to her face, but she had two buns on each side of her head, kept in place by two green hair bands. She wore what looked to be boys clothes- an emerald sweatshirt with the arms cut off, the center showing the symbol of Earth, along with a pair of brown shorts and green sneakers. The only light near by was a few lanterns that hung a few feet away from the courtyard where Aang was practicing, but even in the dim light, Aang got the impression that this girl was stronger than he was. 

"W-who-how did-" He had so many questions, but before he could ask, the small girl jabbed him in the abdomen, causing him to fall back onto the concrete floor with a thud. 

"See?" She tilted her head in amusement and disapproval. "You aren't grounding yourself right. In order to bend Earth, you have to be firmer than that," Aang pushed himself up off the ground with a puff of air. She didn't seem fazed by his use of Air Bending, instead, just coming behind him and roughly adjusting his posture. Aang cringed internally as she straightened his back and bent his knees more. "Holy shit, dude-" she laughed. "Your legs are shaking! How weak are you?!" As the girl continued to laugh, Aang looked down, and sure enough, his legs shook under his own weight. "You seriously need help," she crossed her arms.

"I..." Aang swallowed his pride, looking down. "I guess so. Could you...uh...help me out then...?" He smiled at her awkwardly, but as he went to make eye contact, he realized she was blind. She seemed to think it over, her brows furrowed as he tried his best not to fall over. 

"I guess so," she shrugged. "You clearly need it. Meet me here every night at 10 Pm, you got that?" Aang shook his head yes- but before he could correct himself into speaking, she nodded back. "Good. I have to get back to my place before my parents realize I'm gone, but you keep practicing your form until tomorrow and maybe we'll actually be able to do something with you," she snickered before walking off and out of the courtyard. 

"W-wait!" Aang called after her, turning around and making his way towards her. "I'm Aang, by the way," he smiled awkwardly. She stopped, but didn't turn around. There was a pause before she replied, a slight smile on her face. 

"I'm Toph," before Aang could reply, she used Earth Bending to vault herself over the wall that separated the house Aang and Gyatso had been given from the street outside. Aang smiled softly, grateful to have made a new friend- or at least something close to it. 

 


two years ago...

 

Aang had been studying Fire Bending for one month now, and honestly he was enjoying it much more than he had Earth Bending. It had taken him two years to master his opposite element- an entire twelve months more than how long it had taken to master Water. Similarly to water, Aang found that the element of fire came much more naturally to him. It was fairly similar to Air Bending- just easier to lose control over. Aang's new master, Sifu Jeong Jeong, was difficult to work with- but sometimes Aang really did feel like he was the problem, not the older man who taught him. Aang was trying though- he really was! At least, now that Aang was getting older and, according to the Southern Temple's elders, 'more mature', they didn't monitor him as closely as they had his first and second years of training. So, Aang had managed to make a new friend- several in fact! 

He'd been on his way back to the house he was sharing with Gyatso when he'd- quite literally - bumped into someone. He stumbled backwards, quite shaken up by the taller person's presence. "O-oh- shoot, I'm really sorry!" He laughed awkwardly, just barely having caught himself with his air bending. 

"Oh- uh..." The person Aang had bumped into stuttered, clearly uncomfortable at having to talk to him. He looked older than Aang- probably by a few years. His skin was a slightly tanned color, his eyes a brilliant golden brown. Over the left side of his face, partially covered by his ebony hair, was a massive scar, stretching from his eyebrow to the bottom of his jaw. The eye that fell right in the center of the scar looked to be damaged, and probably blind. He looked a bit familiar, but Aang wasn't sure where from. He went to continue, but was cut off by a woman who stood next to him. She looked a bit younger, but nearly identical to the man next to her, making it fairly obvious that they were siblings- or at least related in some way. 

"Watch where you're going next time, dumbass!" she was only a few inches taller than Aang, but her demeanor made her seem much taller, or maybe Aang was just feeling small in her presence. "Do you even know who we are?!" 

"Uh..." Aang swallowed hard before answering. "N-no...? Sorry, I've only been staying here for a few months and I've spent most of that time training so..." he rubbed the back of his neck, silently hoping that he hadn't made any grave mistake by not knowing the identities of these strangers. The girl laughed, rolling her eyes. 

"You're an Air Bender, why the hell would you be training for anything in the Fire Nation?" It was more of a rhetorical question, but Aang answered anyways, a slight smile creeping up onto his face. 

"That's cause I'm the Avatar!" He grinned, but all four of the people he'd bumped into didn't seem to believe him, so he created a puff of fire in his palm to prove it. The girl looked surprised, just a bit, before mumbling something and walking off. 

"Sorry about her," the man with the scar said. "that's my sister she's just...like that. I'm Zuko, by the way," he glanced over at the other two. "and this is Mai and Ty Lee," one of the girls, wearing a pink sweater and white skirt, waved excitedly, while the other, who wore all black said nothing. Suddenly, something clicked in Aang's mind and he connected the dots. 

"Oh! I do know who you are- you're the crown prince aren't you?!" Aang grinned. Zuko flushed slightly and motioned for Aang to keep his voice down. 

"Well don't say it so loud, people will freak out if they realize I'm here," Zuko frowned.

"Oh, sorry," Aang chuckled. "Well, I gotta get going, it was nice talking to you!" Zuko nodded, and followed after his sister, the other two girls following close behind him. 

 

...

 

In the coming weeks, Aang nearly forgot about his encounter with the royal siblings and their friends- that was until Gyatso woke him up on one of the days he didn't have training to attend with the news that the two of them would be meeting with Fire Lord Iroh and Crown Prince Zuko. Apparently, Aang was being given approval by the other elders of the Southern Temple to make what they called 'formal acquaintances' with the Fire Lord and Crown Prince, on account of the fact that once his training was done, he'd have to work with them on all sorts of political issues and such.

Later, as they were preparing to leave for the meeting, Aang heard Gyatso talking on the phone. He probably wouldn't have noticed, but for a moment he thought Gyatso was trying to talk to him, since he was speaking in the Southern Temple's dialect. He didn't mean to eavesdrop, he knew it was rude, but once he realized he was on the phone with another one of the elders, he also knew they were talking about him. 'Nothing more than acquaintances, Gyatso' Aang had heard one of the other monks (he assumed Pasang) say on the other line.

"I know, but-" Gyatso tried to argue, but was shut down immediately. 

'There can be no exceptions, Gyatso. Have you already forgotten what happened the last time an Avatar became too attached to individual mortals? We cannot let this happen again,' now Aang was confused. What did they mean by that?

"Pasang, you have to understand," Gyatso was starting to sound more desperate as he debated with his colleague. "Aang is so desperate to have a real friend, I've spent his whole life with him and it's all he's ever wanted! I know that you're worried but you and I both know Aang will want to get closer with the Prince," Gyatso sighed quietly.

'Then stop him,' with that, Pasang hung up, and Aang hurried back to his own room, pretending to adjust his formal wear in the mirror as he thought about what he'd heard. 

 

Even with Gyatso's half-hearted attempts to stop them, and Zuko's slight aversion to social situations, Aang and Zuko became very close. Zuko gifted his new friend a cell phone in secret, one of the fancy ones made in the Fire Nation, so that they could talk as much as they wanted. Gyatso pretended not to notice the bright light of the phone from underneath Aang's sheets when he was supposedly "asleep", and he stayed quiet while Aang talked with his new friend on the phone for hours. Gyatso wasn't a stupid man- he knew what had happened to his dear friend all those years ago, and he knew that the other monks just wanted to protect him- to protect the world. At the same time, though, Gyatso saw Aang as his own son. He saw the boy for who he was as a person, not just as the Avatar, and as a person, Gyatso knew Aang needed real friendship in his life. 

 


now...

 

Aang stood in front of his mirror anxiously. After a full year of spiritual training at the Eastern Air Temple, Aang was finally considered a fully realized Avatar. Now, he was about to have his first public appearance with that title. It would be the first time the world would see him- the first time the press was allowed to speak with him and take pictures of him. He'd get to meet all the world leaders from every nation that he'd spent so much time being prepared to talk to. 

"And maybe," Aang said softly to himself. "if I'm lucky, the elders will let me make some new friends," he smiled, just a bit, before leaving his room to go find Gyatso. 

If only he could have known...