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2015-03-02
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The First Time

Summary:

Because, in my imagination, these two never stop. No matter what day it is.

Or

Steve remembers the first time Danny called him 'Steven.' Danny doesn't. High jinks ensue.

Notes:

This was supposed to be just a little 500-word experiment to see if I could write something that was all dialogue. Clearly, it got away from me. Which speaks directly to my tenuous grip on sanity. Fair warning.

Work Text:

 "Steven.”

 “Uh-oh.”

 “Uh-oh what uh-oh?  I just said Steven.”

 “Exactly.”

 “And by ‘exactly,’ you mean what, exactly?”

 “I mean that you only ever call me ‘Steven’ when you are a) annoyed or b) I’m in trouble, or c) both, because those two things usually go hand in hand, so all I’m saying is, uh-oh, which is it this time?”

 “Ahh, that was cute, with the little alphabet thing there.  Bert and Ernie would be so proud.  But that is so not true and you know it.”

 “I do not know it.”

 “Oh, really?”

 “Yes, really.”

 “Well then you have an amazingly short memory, my friend, because you have clearly forgotten something, something stupendously, mind-blowingly, your-life-is-never-gonna-be-the-same-againly important, having to do with how we got to this very place, on this very day, at this very moment.”

 “I…wait…what?  You’re confusing me. As usual.”

 “Then let me clear it up for you, babe.  If I remember correctly, and of course I do remember correctly because I always remember everything correctly, which you know…”

 “Uh-huh…”

 “Which you know…my exact words to you, down on my one remaining good knee in front of God and everybody and the entire Five-0 team, were “Steven Jack McGarrett, will you marry me?”

 “Oh yeah…that.  Well, technically Daniel, I think all that does is prove my point.”

 “You did not just say that to me.”

 “Oh yeah I did.  A lot of people think the worst ‘trouble’ I’ve ever gotten myself into in my whole life was saying ‘yes’ to you.”

 “You are such a jackass, you know that?”

 “Hey, is that any way to talk to the man you’re gonna marry in, what is it now, twenty minutes?”

 “If I’ll still have him, which he should only hope I’m not reconsidering.  And for the record, you should know that what ‘a lot of people think’ is that saying ‘yes’ to me was the smartest thing your crazy ass has ever done.  Now…oh my g…come ‘ere, come ‘ere…”

 “What?”

 “Come over here.  I need to fix your tie.  Again.  How does this keep happening, huh?  I swear, sometimes I think you were raised by wolves.”

 “Hey, hey, hey.”

 “Well, I’m half right on that one, ya gotta admit.”

 “I’m gonna ignore that for now in favor of telling you that I’ll bet you a dozen of those malasadas you’re still so fond of even though Gracie and I have both told you a thousand times they’re gonna kill you…

 “Doesn’t mean they’re not still delicious, babe...”

 “…that you don’t remember the first time you actually called me Steven.”

 “And you’re telling me that you do?”

 “Yes, I do.”

 “And how exactly will we be able to prove that if I don’t even remember myself?”

 “I guess you’ll just have to take my word for it.”

 “Because that always works out so well for me.”

 “OK, now who’s being a jackass?”

 “I prefer ‘smartass.’ Sounds classier.  But in any case, continue. Impress me.”

 "Only you would think ‘smartass’ sounds classy."

  "You can take the boy outta Jersey..."

 "Anyway, it was that time we were tracking down those scumbags that had kidnapped Mary.  We found out where they were holed up and I jumped on one of the bikes and drove it up the stairs…”

 “Which normal people, a group you are obviously not a part of, know are for walking on…”

 “Ah ah ah, Danny, if you’re gonna butt into my story, you have to do it right.”

 “Meaning what?”

 “Meaning that, your exact words, if I remember correctly, and of course I do remember correctly because I always remember everything correctly, which you know…”

 “Uh huh…”

 “…were...'I have a number. Of a therapist I wanna give you, OK?  Walk.  Up steps. Like a human'.”

 “A therapist.  Called that one, did I not?  That woman’s head is still spinning...”

 “And then a couple minutes later I was trying to get the guy with the missing tooth to talk and I said “Danny?” and for whatever reason you said “Yes, Steven?"  And that was it.  The first time.  January 3rd, 2011.

 “Wait, are you seriously standing there telling me that you not only remember exactly what I said, but also the exact date I said it?  Are you kidding me with this?  How the hell would you…no, never mind.  I don’t wanna know...wait a minute, yes I do wanna know.  Because what I definitely know is that you do not have one of those eidetic memory things, because if you did, by now this is something I would know about you and I…”

 “Danny, Danny, Danny, stop.  Stop.  Stop with the hands, already.  You’re gonna knock something over.”

 “I’m sorry, have we met? How am I supposed to talk if I can’t move my hands?”

 “You do know Chin’s been taking bets for over a month about what your hands are gonna be doing when you’re saying your vows, right?”

 “You mean besides shaking in abject terror for what I’m about to do?”

 “Actually, I think Kono’s got fifty riding on that one. Anyway, Ida…Ida what now?”

 “Eidetic. Photographic. I knew all those word-a-day calendars were wasted on you. So since you do not have such a thing, please explain to me how it is that you can quote me a conversation, and a date, from that long ago, allegedly verbatim, and do not even let me find out it’s because that Super-SEAL watch of yours is some kind of recording device, because if it turns out you have some weird, stalkerish secret stash of our conversations somewhere, I promise you I am absolutely gonna have to rethink this whole thing. So start expl…why are you waggling your phone at me, Steven?”

 “Notes, Danny.  Notes.  It’s an app.  A basic app.  On your phone.”

 “Wait…you’ve been taking notes on me?  What’s the matter with you?  Are you outta your mind?”

 “Danny, Danny, relax, relax.  It’s not a covert op.  I just use it to help me remember some of the things you say.  And do.  Things that happen.  That’s all. It’s no big deal.”

 “What do you mean, no big deal? All this time, you’ve been…how do I not know about this?”

 “It’s not a secret, Danny.”

 “And yet here I am, in the dark.”

 “It's not.  I mean, not totally.  For one…Gracie knows.”

 “Gracie?  How does Gracie know?”

 “Danny, please.  Kids.  Gadgets.  She can work this thing better than either one of us ever will.  Especially you.”

 “Wait, tell me she did not go through your phone behind your back.”

 “No, no, of course not.”

 “Then how?”

 “Well, to be honest…”

 “Interesting concept, today of all days…”

 “…her ninja-phone-skills never really even came into play – I accidentally made it easy for her.”

 “Accidentally?  Please explain to me what ‘accidentally’ means.”

 “OK, OK.  Just please, calm down, alright?

 “I will consider calming down once I’ve heard this oh-it’s-Steve-so-it-must-be-completely-insane explanation.”

 “Fine.  And it’s not insane.  Not completely.  Anyway, it was a few months ago.  You stayed late one afternoon wrapping up some of that paperwork you’re so obsessed with…”

 “Because leaving it for you to do is always an option…”

 “…so I picked her up from school and brought her home.  I’d taken a couple of videos at the beach I wanted her to see, so I told her to grab the phone and take a look, but I’d forgotten that I’d left the Notes open.  First thing she saw when the screen came up.  Most of ‘em were about you, or her, so she asked me what they were.”

 “She still shouldn’t have done that.  She’s old enough to know what the word ‘privacy’ means.”

 “It’s not her fault, Danno, really.  She’s a teenager, she’s curious.  Besides, the timing turned out to be sort of perfect.”

 “The timing?”

 “Yeah.  I mean, you and I had already had the ‘big talk’ with her, but I’d been looking for a chance to speak to her about it while she and I were alone, just to make sure she was really OK with everything.”

 “So you’re telling me the ear-piercing squeals of delight when we told her about us didn’t tip you off?  Remind me to teach you a few more of my detective skills, which you clearly need.”

 “I know, I know.  But, I guess I just wanted a little more reassurance, for me.  You and the kids are everything to me, so I just…anyway, the Notes turned out to be the perfect way to get that conversation going.”

 “So what did you talk about?”

 “Fun stuff mostly, Christmases and birthdays, what you and I thought of each other when we first met…”

 "That one I’d love to hear sometime…”

 “But mainly it just gave me a chance to answer her questions, and she had a lot of ‘em, not surprising.  I think it was good for both of us. We talked for about an hour or so, I think, and then she…she just stopped…and she looked up at me, and...and…”

 “Steve?  What?  What’s wrong?”

 “Nothing, nothing's wrong.”

 “What, Steve? She looked up at you, and…what?”

 “She…she admitted she’d been hoping for us to get together…all along, ever since you and Rachel split up for good.  I’ll never forget…she said ‘this means you’ll be with us forever, doesn’t it.’  I swear, Danny, I nearly lost it right on the spot.”

 “She loves you, babe.”

 “I know. I…I guess I just didn’t know how much.”

 “She’s pretty damned smart, too.  Right?  I think she knew about us before we did.”

 “Danny, everybody knew before we did.”

 “There’s that, too.  But why didn’t she ever say anything to me about any of this?”

 “Because we made a deal to keep it just between us, something special for just her and me.  You should have seen the look on her face when we were done talking.  She was just…so happy.”

 “You know, now that you say this, I think maybe I do remember that night.  When I got home, she ran up and threw her arms around me and gave me an extra big hug.  I thought she was just happy to see me.”

 “She was.  You just didn’t know the whole reason.”

 “Huh...well...I will agree to keep your little secret because there’s actually a part of me that thinks this thing with her is very sweet.”

 “Thank you.”

 “But…”

 “How did I know there was a ‘but’…”

 “…in light of this unexpected-especially-on-my-wedding-day revelation, I would now like the privilege of looking through your notes.  I would very much like to see your version of my life.”

 “Our life, Danny.  But there’s no time.  Ceremony’s starting in just a few minutes.”

 “Just a quick peek.  Trust me, I’ll be going through them one by one on the flight to the mainland tomorrow, and you will be providing very detailed explanations if you have any hope whatsoever of touching me on the honeymoon.  Now hand it over.”

 “OK, OK.  Just…let me bring it up for you here…save us a lot of time.”

 “Keep your day job, McWitless, ‘cause your comedic skills are…Holy sh…how many entries are there here?”

 “Around a hundred, I think, maybe more.  Which is exactly why we don’t have time for this right now.”

 “Hang on, hang on, just let me scroll back to the beginning so I can see how this all started, which is completely frightening to me…Ahh, here we go, here we go. [9/20/10 Met and recruited Danny Williams today. I think I’m in trouble.]  What do you mean you thought you were in trouble?”

 “You punched me.”

 “You got me shot. I win.

 “That’s not even the kind of trouble I was… oh, never mind. Just keep going, if you have to.”

 “Yes, I have to. [10/4/10 Met Gracie today. She said Danny talks about me a lot. I think I’m in love with her. Now I know I’m in trouble].  You said that about her way back then?”

 “It was the truth.  I’ve adored her since the minute I laid eyes on her, you know that.”

 “You’re right, I do know that.  It was mutual.  You know that too, right?”

 “Yeah.  I do.  Second-happiest day of my life.  But come on now, we can do this later…”

 “Bup bup bup, not so fast there, Smoothdog.  Let me just see what else catches my eye here…November…February…oh this. [4/11/11 This is not a hike, Steven. Took Danny up to Ko ‘olau to show him the petroglyphs. Broke my arm. He signed I heart you as I was being airlifted out. Starting to get my hopes up].  Yeah, just one of the many signals I was trying to send you, you goof.

 “Don’t give me that.  You didn’t know anything back then either.”

 “Incorrect, but thanks for playing.  I knew something, I just didn’t know everything.  Unofficially our first official date.”

 “And it was almost perfect, except for the broken arm and the dead body and all.”

 “Hold on a minute…[5/9/11 When I knew.]  That’s all it says.  When was…wait, was that…”

 “Yeah, the sarin gas.”

 “That’s when you…knew?  You never told me that.  Why then?”

 “Because…it was the first time I had to face the possibility of losing you.  I’ll never forget standing in that hospital hallway watching them wheel you away. I thought I was gonna lose my mind.  I don’t know what I would’ve done…I couldn’t even think about it.  As clues go, that was a pretty big one that I was a goner.”

 “But…nothing really changed between us.  At least not that I could see.”

 “It couldn’t have, not then.  I mean, there was Rachel, and then that whole drama with the baby-that-wasn’t-really-yours, before we found out Charlie really was yours and I...I just didn’t think it was gonna happen.  Didn’t think it could happen, so I kept it all to myself.”

 “I get it.  I do.  I…I guess I'm just sorry we wasted so much time.”

 “I know...”

 “So what’s with this gap here, between May and September?”

 “No reason.  I guess you didn’t say anything memorable that summer.”

 “Are you telling me that I have not been memorable in some form or another every single day since, when was it again, September 20th, 2010?”

 “Yes, Danny, memorable.  You’re always memorable, OK?”

 “Good answer, my friend, good answer.  So what else have we got here?  Umm…Ohh, Jesus H...”

 “What?”

 [11/21/11 North Korea.]  Talk about not knowing what I would’ve done…”

 “Danny, don’t…”

 “[Danny’s face. The only one I wanted to see, and there he was. I asked him about Wo Fat. He told me to shut up. That’s how I knew everything would be OK.]  How could you possibly joke at a time like that?”

 “I wrote that after it was all over.  It was make jokes or go crazy. It’s what we do.”

 “No, crazy-making is what you do.”

 “And it’s why you love me.  That, and the whole half-baked cookie thing.”

 “Uh huh.  I can’t even…there’s so much here… oh, oh, look at this one [2/13/12 Finally got Lori Weston and her ‘feelings’ out of my life. WTF?]  Yeah, you really dodged a bullet there, babe.”

 “Nah, she was shooting blanks.  I have no idea…we didn’t even have any chemistry as teammates, let alone anything else.  I never did figure that one out.  Anyway, can we please not talk about her today?”

 “For once, I actually agree with you and…wow.”

 “Wow what?”

 “Wow I do not believe what my own two eyes are seeing right now.”

 “What is it?”

 “[9/24/12 I called Danny ‘booboo’ in the car today. He nearly lost his mind. Which was fun.]  Uh, first of all, your mother had just come back from the dead.  Second of all, I was in the fight of my life with Rachel about running off to Vegas with Grace.  And what you wrote down from that day was how much fun you had calling me ‘booboo?’  Really?”

 “You know what?  That was so worth it.  Whenever I need a smile, all I have to do is think back to the day I gave you aneurysm-face.  Never fails.”

 “But you never dared to call me that again, did you.”

 “Because I’m not as stupid as you keep telling me I am.  As for Doris, there’s plenty in there about her, don’t you worry.  And Vegas?  At that point, I just didn’t want to think about you maybe leaving to go there.”

 “Seems to me I remember you telling me to go.”

 “I did not tell you to go.  I said maybe Vegas wasn’t so bad.  I knew you were under a lot of pressure trying to figure out the right thing to do and I didn’t want to make it worse by trying to guilt you into staying.”

 “But you didn’t want me to go.”

 “Of course I didn’t.  You know that.”

 “So what would you have done if it turned out I did have to go?”

 “Can we please talk about this later?  Like maybe in ten years or something?”

 “No we cannot.  I wanna know.  What would you have done?”

 “I would have…no, I can’t…you’ll just laugh at me, which I do not need right at the moment.”

 “I always laugh at you, when I’m not terrified.  That’s what I get with you.  Laughter and terror.  Mostly terror.  So answer the question.  What would you have done?”

 “It’s…it’s not what I would have done, Danny, it’s what I did do.”

 “Which was?”

 “I…I left it up to the powers that be.”

 “Excuse me, the what?”

 “The powers that be.  You know, Fate.  I figured if we were meant to be, then it would all work out.  Which is exactly what happened.”

 “Wow.  So you just shrugged your big strong shoulders and put my life, not to mention our family's life, in the hands of Fate?  Who knew?”

 “I knew, OK?  I just…knew.  Look, you’re always hammering me about what a control freak I am, right?  Well, I’m trying to tell you that sometimes, when it really matters, I can turn loose, and let things happen. And this mattered. We mattered. So I turned loose. And look what happened.”

 “Impressive, if I’m being totally honest. And I also believe this may be some kind of a record.”

 “What record?”

 “For the second time today, I find myself unable to argue with you.  Which, by the way, feels very unnatural.”

 “See? Just one more memorable thing to add to all of this.  Now come on, we gotta wrap this up.  It’s almost time.”

 “Hold on, hold on, just one or two…Ohhh, wait a minute, wait just a damn minute here…[8/22/14 The first time Danny let me kiss him.]  LET you? The first time I LET you kiss me?!  Are you referring to the night I literally tackled you on the beach behind your house and sucked your lungs up through your larynx because I was so damned sick of waiting for you to make a move? THAT time?”

 “That’s the one. Can you believe we waited another whole week before we…ya know…”

 “Wait, tell me you did not put that in here.”

 “No, no, of course not.  I don’t need any notes to help me remember that night.”

 “That night?  Don’t you mean that weekend?  We never left the house.”

 “Unless you count the time out on the lanai…”

 “Stop right there or we will have to delay our regularly-scheduled program for at least another hour.”

 “Sorry, didn’t mean to get you all worked up.  Yet.”

 “And I will ignore that for right now because this brings me to yet another question.  How the hell do you keep all this stuff stored in here from that far back?  I know for a fact that you’ve broken or lost at least a dozen phones since we met.”

 “The cloud, Danny, the cloud.  I beg you, mooove into the 21st century with the rest of us.”

 “I do not have, nor do I want to have, any idea what you are talking about.”

 “Yes you do. Gracie’s texts, remember?”

 “No, I just have this very fuzzy idea about some unidentifiable thing out there that is capable of recording everything that’s ever been said in the universe, which is terrifying.  That does not mean I understand it.”

 “It’s not that difficult, Danny. There’s this…”

 “No, no, no, babe. I do not need a lecture from Steve-the-Science-Guy right now, OK? Not now. Probably not ever. I don’t need to know. But as I’m thinking about this, it still doesn’t explain to me how you can actually quote some of these things word for word.  How do you do that?”

 “Again, not a mystery.  Sometimes, when you’re not around, I…I miss you. And don’t you say a word because I know you miss me, too.”

 “I will not bother to deny that, but still…”

 “So sometimes, I’ll take the phone out and just run through some of it, to remind me of you, of us.  I’ve done it so often I’ve actually memorized most of it.  What can I say?”

 “You don’t need to say anything.  You’re just nuts, that’s all.  Like I haven’t known that all along.  But I will give you this. As slightly unnerving and borderline creepy as all of this is, it’s nice to know you can still surprise me.”

 “I thought I did a pretty good job of surprising you last night…”

 “Hey, hey, hey now, I told you, not here, you animal.  Gracie could walk in here any second.  Or worse, my mother, God forbid.”

 "Are you kidding me?  Your mother would want details.”

 “And at this point I wouldn’t trust you not to actually give them to her.   I don’t know who’s the bigger piece of work here, you or her.”

 “She's responsible for bringing you into the world, so I’m gonna go with her.”

 “I will not tell her you said that.  She’d kick your ass from here to North Shore and back.”

 “No she wouldn’t.  She loves me.”

 “Oddly, yes she does, more than me sometimes, I think.  It still boggles my mind that she was the first person you called after I proposed.”

 “Of course she was.  She had to be.  After she tipped her hand to me when we were in Jersey after Matty’s funeral, I mean, hell, she practically begged me to ask you.”

 “But you still held out and made me do it.”

 “I told you before, it had to come from you.  After what you’d been through with Rachel, I figured you might not want to make that kind of commitment ever again, especially not to me.”

 “And yet, here I am.  Shows what you do to a person.”

 “A person?”

 “Shut up, you.  Don’t start with me.  I’ve got enough to worry about right now.  Impossible as this may sound, given our history, all I want is for everything to go according to plan today.  No surprises.  Which I fully realize, if you are involved, is like asking for the friggin’ moon…”

 “Why?  What are so you worried about?”

 “Oh, I don’t know.  Bomb threat.  Building collapse.  Bee invasion.  Or, worst of all, a pissed-off five-foot six-inch badass brunette that I’m actually still a little afraid of.  I half expect her to come storming down the aisle in full gear and take me out.  She could do it, too.”

 “Don’t be ridiculous, Danny.  She’s happy for us.  She said so.”

 “She’s happy for you.  Happy-ish.  Jury’s still out about me.  I saw the look on her face.”

 “You’re wrong about her, but it doesn’t matter.  I’m happy.  You’re happy.  At least you’re as happy as you’re capable of being…”

 “You’re really doing this to me right now? Seriously?"

 “I will always be doing this to you, babe.  And that.  And, that other thing.”

 “What did I tell you, Steven?”

 “Danny, Danny, for the last time, just relax already, OK?  Everything’s gonna be fine.  Really.”

 “Really?”

 “Well, probably. “

 “What?!”

 “OK, maybe.  Let's go with maybe."

 “Why do I listen to you?  What the hell do you know anyway?”

 “Come over here and I’ll tell you what I know.”

 “Steve…”

 “Just come 'ere a sec, OK?”

 “OK, OK.  So tell me, what do you know?”

 “I know…that I cannot wait to get outta this suit.”

 And what I know is that I cannot wait to get you outta that suit.  But I will say this, Commander McGarrett.   You do look damn fine in it.”

 “Oh yeah?”

 “Oh hell yeah.”

 “Well then…”

 “Hey.  Guys.  Come on, break it up.  It’s time.”

 “Be right there, Deb.”

 “What are you two doing in here together anyway?  Tradition says it’s bad luck for you to see each other before the wedding.”

 “There is nothing remotely traditional about your nephew, Deb.”

 “I could say the same thing about you, Danny.”

 “Yeah, well, besides, tradition says it’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride.  There are no brides in this room, Deb.  No brides.  Got it?”

 “No brides.  Got it.  Now get your non-bride asses in gear and get out here.”

 “OK, OK…Ah, just one of the many reasons I love your aunt so much.  So anyway, Steven…you think you’re ready for this?  Last chance.  Speak now or forever hold my piece.”

 “Oh jeez, Danny, you kiss your daughter with that mouth?”

 “Sorry, sorry. You bring out the worst in me.”

 “And the best.”                                                

 “Debatable.  But, if I may be serious for one second here…how’s my boy?  You okay?  Any regrets?”

 “Not…well, maybe…just one…I wish my dad was here, ya know?”

 “Yeah, I know.  Me too.  Do you really think he’d have been OK with this?  With me?”

 “I’m sure it would have taken some getting used to but, yeah, I think he would have.  He’d have wanted me to be happy.  And he’d have loved you, no question.”

 “Ya think?

 “Yeah. I think.”

 “OK. I admit, that makes me pretty happy.”

 “Finally.”

 “So, Steven?”

 “Yes, Daniel?”

 “I say let’s go do this.”

 “I can get behind that.”

 “Oh no you did not.”

 “Sure I did. Isn’t that where you want me?”

 “You are so gonna pay for that later.”

 “Yeah, yeah. Promises, promises…”