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That day still relives itself over and over again. From when the lights go off to when I’m alone and while I’m in school. It haunts my very essence to the very core to the point where I just break down. I could have done something, but the realization that I didn't hit me hard.

I can’t even seem to remember what I was doing that was so important. Nothing is important anymore. He needed me and I wasn't there for him. The funny thing is he was always there for me. He even stayed with me after I almost killed him when I was struggling with control over my wolf.

Before I even changed into a werewolf, he helped me through everything. He was there when my dad left me and my mom, and he was there to help me when I was failing my classes. I was so foolish to ignore him when I met Allison. Back then I didn't know what I had until it was gone forever.

I hang my head in my hands as I sit on my bed. Someone keeps knocking on the door, but soon it dies down and there’s just silence left in its place. No one else understands. They say that I shouldn't blame myself. But if only they really knew what happened. If he wasn't helping me with this werewolf mess he would still be here and alive.

Slowly my hand reaches out until it touches the one thing that mocks me. Holding the phone in my trembling hands I start to cautiously open up the phone and see that there’s a missed call. It’s the same call that holds the voice-mail that haunts my dreams. I press listen and let the voice-mail start.

“…SCOTT where are you?!” his voice weakens, “…Look I really need you this time…can you just please pick up?...” stiles voice goes silent as there’s some struggle in the background, “t-there her-here, Scott p-p-please come and save me…” there’s a pause.

“Affirmative we have reached the targets home…looking for target now.” That wasn't stiles voice. It was too rough and maniacal to be his. It was the alpha pack that came to Beacon hills.

How could I not see this? Of course they would go after stiles since he was the glue that held me together. If only I knew this before and was there for him! He told me that it was a possibility he would be the next target but I didn't listen. Stiles voice breaks me out of my trance,

“…S-S-Scott, I’m really s-scared and I ju-just want to let you know,” his voice starts to tremble, “I know I’m not the best person in the world but…t-thank you for being there and for being my best friend…” then it ends with a horrifying scream followed by a click.

For once his voice was joke free. He sounded so sincere and as though he gave up all hope. That’s not the stiles I knew, the stiles I knew would fight to the end. But then again, the stiles that I knew is no longer here because of me. After I received the message I rushed to his house. His dad, the sheriff, was there with all the police force cars. Their sirens filled the air which echoed through my ears.

However right now that didn't matter as I tore through the crowd to see the door hanging off the hinges. The sheriff wore a grim expression so I knew it was too late. But I just had to see for myself whether it was true or not. They tried to stop me when I passed the yellow tape on the door but once I growled at them, they moved away in shock.

Once inside all I smelt was blood; Stiles blood. It filled the entire house as I ran through all the clutter and broken furniture. His door was open and this is where the scent of blood was the strongest. Slowly I made my way to the door, however what lay beyond the door sickened me.

His bedroom was torn up with everything ripped in sight. What drew my attention was the body that lay on the middle of the floor. It was unmistakably stiles. His now lifeless honey brown eyes were open and stared right back at me.

His right arm was bent at an awkward angle and there were slash marks running down his neck to his stomach. That wasn't it however; it looked like they tortured him. His mouth was duck tapped and he had slashes covering his legs and arms.

If that wasn't enough, his throat was ripped open and near his head on the floor was a smiley face drawn in his own blood. Those sick BASTARDS!! HOW could THEY do this?!

Very slowly I approached his body wondering if I could still save him. I just had to do something but was it already too late? Sitting on the floor next to him in his pool of blood I crouch down near his skin and let my fangs pierce the bloody flesh.

Maybe if I turn him into a werewolf then he’ll live. But my efforts were futile, he wasn't healing and there was no movement. I repeat the process over and over again getting frantic.

Faintly I hear someone coming up the stairs. Then the door opens revealing the sheriff. He looks at me then to stiles and the grim expression turns darker. He doesn't say anything about the blood that soaks my mouth.

He comes towards me and pats my back while murmuring soothing words. But I can tell that he loss apart of himself too by the look in his dull eyes. Liquid falls on my hands making them moist. Startled I touch my checks.

When exactly had I started crying? Only then did I notice as my growls echoed off the walls. My best friend, no my only true friend is now gone. And I let it happen.

After that night, weeks and months passed by. Months turned into years. The alpha pack left town that very same night. It seemed as though they disappeared from the earth. I have been searching for those monsters ever since.

The sheriff lost it 3 days after it happened. He never came in for work so they went to go check on him. However what they found was the sheriff sitting down leaned against the wall with an old picture of his deceased wife holding their newborn son stiles in one hand and his gun in the other. He just couldn't bear losing his wife and son so he fell into pieces. This time stiles was not there to put him back together once more.

I quit the pack, if you could even call it that, Derek and Isaac have tried to convince me to stay saying something about strength in numbers in case they come back.
My mother had stopped trying a long time ago; she had stopped trying to get me to sleep or to eat let along going to school. There were just too many memories of stiles with anything I do. No one understands why but they don’t know what I know, they don’t feel what I feel.

He was my true anchor as Derek calls it. Allison was just a distraction from what was really important. It took me this long to finally realize that. But she wasn't any better than the others because she too didn't understand what I was feeling. She had said that I had to choose either her or let go of the past right before she left.

So as I sit here and recall the past my body feels heavy willing me to sleep. But as my head hits the pillow I jolt back up by the sound of stiles piercing scream that bounces off the walls. I can’t forget and it seems as though he won’t let me.

He will be with me, haunting my memories, re-playing in my head. It’s been a long time since I last had a peaceful sleep as a result, black bags formed permanently under my eyes. But it’s okay for I do not want to ever forget. I could have been there for him but wasn't. This is the price I am more than willing to pay for it.