Work Header

Like Taking Candy from a Baby

Work Text:

Charlie pounded on the door. "Mr. Dresden! Mr. Dresden, sir! I have an urgent message for you. Please open up!"

The door was pulled open. Yawning behind it was the most beautiful man Charlie had ever seen, all perfect pale skin and sleep-tousled hair, lounging in a pair of blue silk boxers.

"Harry isn't here right now," he said.

Charlie leaned in, needing to touch, and felt the hot tingle of deadly wards on his skin. He stepped back at the last moment, gasping, "White Court Vampire!"

"Baby Warden," it gasped back mockingly, eyeing Charlie's gray cloak. Then it scented the air and leered, "And a virgin, too."

How had that thing gotten past Mr. Dresden's wards?

It straightened into a sultry pose in the doorway and announced in a honeyed voice, "The Wizard Dresden has done my House a great service, and I was thrown into the deal to," it licked its lips, "sweeten the pot." Charlie wanted so badly he lurched forwards, not caring about the wards.

The thing slumped suddenly, rubbing its temples like it had a headache. Charlie was released from its charm.

"If you hurt me, Warden Dresden will kill you," Charlie warned it, backing several feet away and raising his staff in trembling hands.

A peculiar look flitted over the vampire's face. "You're probably right."

Charlie turned to run.

"So you can just leave Harry a message at the beep," it said. Charlie had lifted his robes to lengthen his stride and was a dozen yards away when he heard it call out, "Beeeeeep!" The inhuman laughter followed him for miles.