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We Were Pretending, and Then We Weren't

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Clarke smiled at Finn apologetically. The café door shut slowly and there was the distant sound of feet pounding against tarmac.

“I’m sorry about…that.”

Finn shook his head, “No, it’s ok. I shouldn’t have- I shouldn’t have assumed you were single, I’m sorry.”

Clarke sighed, “Even if I was, you know we couldn’t date again.”

Finn’s expression turned sad, but he nodded, “I know.”

They had dated all of one summer, when Clarke was in high school and Clarke had thought she was in love. Only to find out that Finn had been cheating on her for most of their relationship.

She had forgiven him a long time ago, and it was definitely nice to see him, but he had cheated and even after all this time she didn’t trust him not to do it again.

“I should probably go after her.”

“Yeah probably,” he agreed, “I’ll see you at your Granddads birthday party.”

“You’re coming to that?”

“Well yeah, basically the whole town is,” Finn told her, even though Clarke knew that already, “Unless you don’t want me to that is.”

Clarke shook her head, “No. No, you should come, it’ll be fun.”

“Ok, if you’re sure.”

“I am, I’ll see you later Finn.”

By the time Clarke caught up with Lexa she was already in the boat, trying to figure out how to start it. Clarke jumped on board. She took Lexa’s place and started up the boat.

“Ok, what the hell was that?” Clarke asked once they were moving, she had to shout over the wind. Lexa didn’t answer, so Clarke tried again, “Lexa! Talk to me!”

Again Lexa pretend to not hear, when Clarke knew that she could, they had talked the first time they were on the boat. She knew Lexa could hear her. Clarke cut the engine and the boat slowed to a stop.

“Clarke, what are you doing?” Lexa asked.

“I know you could hear me. Why did you storm out like that?”

“I didn’t want coffee,” Lexa lied terribly.


“I don’t know, ok?” she groaned.

“Were you jealous of Finn?”

“No.” Lexa snapped quickly.

“Then for fucks sake, what was that?” Clarke exclaimed, “One minute I’m talking to Finn, then you get all protective and then you’re storming out.”

“Well I’m sorry if I want to maintain our cover. We’re supposed to be dating Clarke, if people see you blatantly flirting with someone else, they’ll know we’re faking it. You said this town was small. People talk. It wouldn’t take much for your mother to find out we’re not actually together,” Lexa took a deep breath when she finished, that wasn’t fully a lie.

Clarke sighed loudly, “Damn, you’re right. I’m sorry,” she hadn’t purposefully been flirting with Finn, but she could definitely see how someone else might think she was.

“You and Finn used to date, correct?” she guessed.

“Yeah for a summer, he had been cheating on me the whole time though.” Clarke told her, “It was just nice to see him, I guess.”

“I understand Clarke.”

Clarke moved to start up the boat again, but then she stopped, she turned to Lexa, who looked at her questioningly.

“Lexa…I wasn’t going to mention this because clearly you don’t want to. But about what happened on the porch-“

“Clarke-“ Lexa interrupted.

But Clarke continued, “I wanted to kiss you and I may be wrong but I think you wanted to kiss me too.”

She had wanted too, “I didn’t.”


“Clarke, can you please just drive?”

“Lexa you can’t just run away from every conversation that makes you uncomfortable.”

“Usually I can. This time you’ve cornered me on a boat.” She said dryly.


“No Clarke! We can’t do this,” she gestured between them, “for real.” She stated firmly, she stared hard to Clarke, who held her gaze.

“Can’t or won’t?”

Lexa clenched her jaw because, really, she didn’t know the answer.

“Just. Drive.” Lexa said tersely.


This time the wind is the perfect excuse not to talk and when Clarke parked the boat in the boathouse, Lexa jumped out before Clarke even secured the boat. The door slammed shut behind her and Clarke clenched her jaw at the sound.

She followed up soon after.

When her grandfather asked Clarke what happened with Lexa to make her excuse herself to bed this early, Clarke made up a lie about her eating something off in town. Lexa only came out of the room for meal times before excusing herself again.

Clarke avoided going to their bedroom by staying up with her dad, watching reruns of Friends with him until he went to bed himself.

Clarke stayed up for a while longer, only going to bed when she couldn’t keep her eyes open anymore.

When she snuck into their room in the early hours of the morning Lexa was sound asleep and Clarke was glad.

Again Clarke woke up before Lexa. Although this time Lexa was on the other side of the bed, her back facing towards her. Clarke couldn’t help but miss Lexa’s arms wrapped around her.

Clarke left the room quietly, being sure not to slam the door. She was happy to see her grandfather and dad sitting in the kitchen, both of them reading a newspaper. They were so similar it was laughable sometimes.

“Morning sweetheart,” Jake said, not looking up from his paper.

Robert did look up however, smiling kindly at her, “How did you sleep?”

Clarke shrugged, “Fine thanks.”

“Your father went into town this morning and got us some pastries from the bakery, if you’re interested,” he said gesturing to the plate full of an assortment of baked goods.

“They look great, thanks.” She sat down at the table with them and grabbed herself an apple pastry.

“If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go get ready. Jake here has challenged me to a golf competition, you see.” He explained.

“Which you know I’m going to win,” Jake said puffing his chest out.

“I may be 89 years old but I can still swing a club,” he assured.

Robert left the room slowly, when he was gone Jake turned to his daughter, “You know, if I’m still moving around like he is when I’m that age, I’ll be happy.”

“Come on dad, you still have a while to worry about that. You’re not that old.”

He rolled his eyes, “Thanks Clarke,” he said sarcastically, “So…” he began, “What’s going on with you and Lexa?”

Clarke shifted uncomfortably, “Nothing. We’re fine.”

“Clarke,” he said knowingly.

“We just had a small argument on the way back from town yesterday, it’s fine.”

“If you two are anything like me and your mother, you should probably talk to her.”

“I don’t think we’re like you and mom,” Clarke said honestly.

“Maybe not, but you’ve both got a lot of pride, I haven’t known Lexa very long but I know that,” he said. “One of you needs to make the first move and that usually involves talking.”

“I’ll talk to her later, okay?”

“Ok,” he nodded, “Your grandfather's birthday is in a few days, we don’t want you two arguing.”

Clarke managed to avoid talking to Lexa until after lunch.

After a meal with almost constant glares and not so subtle head gestures from her dad she knew she couldn’t get away without talking to her for much longer.

She hated that he liked to meddle so much.

Clarke asked Lexa to go on a walk with her in the woods that surrounded the house with the excuse that Clarke wanted to draw and Lexa agreed to go with her.

They walked in silence, the air around them tense.

They found a bench that looked over the lake. Clarke flicked open the sketchbook she brought with her. But she had only made a few marks on the page when she couldn’t stand the silence anymore.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice full of sincerity, “You came here with me to pretend to be my girlfriend, that was that and I’m so grateful for it. I shouldn’t have, I don’t know…expected anything more.”

Before they went on this trip Clarke already started to have feelings for Lexa, she hadn’t meant for it to happen but it did. Then when she knew for sure that she was going to be coming with her she told herself that she wouldn’t do anything about them because she didn’t want to make things complicated. This shows how well that went.

She couldn't deny that she had feelings for Lexa anymore, but the other girl clearly didn’t return her feelings so she said, “I understand completely and when we get back to New York, you don’t have to talk to me ever again.”

“Clarke, you don’t understand.”

“I think I do though Lexa, I’ve been thinking about this a lot. I get that we had a one night stand and that was all it was supposed to be. That is, until I sprung this whole fake relationship thing on you.”

Lexa shook her head, “No, you don’t understand,” she insisted. “I like you Clarke,” she admitted softly and Clarke’s heart fluttered in her chest, “But I don’t want to like you.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Four years ago my girlfriend- my fiancée, Costia was killed in a motorcycle accident,” she heard Clarke gasp softly beside her but she continued, “I had been driving and a guy in a car missed a red light when we crossing an intersection. He clipped the back of the bike and hit her but somehow completely missed me. I was thrown off the bike and the paramedics told me she probably died before she hit the ground.”


“Do not apologise for something you had nothing to do with.” Lexa cut her off.

Clarke nodded, after a moment she said, “I didn’t know.”

“How could you?” Lexa asked, bitterness seeping into her voice, although it wasn’t directed at Clarke, but herself. “I never talk about it to anyone.” Lexa sucked her lips into her mouth, “It took a long time for me to recover after her death, I felt responsible for it, fuck, I still do. I haven’t really dated since, well not at all really,” Lexa said, “I know it’s crazy, but I sometimes still feel like I’m cheating on her, that if I date again, I’ll somehow forget her. So yes Clarke, I do like you. But I can’t like you.”

And this time when Lexa said those words Clarke did understand, she placed a hand on Lexa’s forearm, “I know this must have been hard to talk about, thank you.”

Lexa cleared her throat and blinked so the tears that threatened to spill over wouldn’t fall.

“Let’s go back to the house,” Clarke said.

“You haven’t drawn anything,” Lexa said, gesturing to the sketchbook.

Clarke shook her head, “I never wanted to draw in the first place.”

Back at the house Clarke and Lexa wandered into the living room where Claire was sitting watching a game show. Lexa sat down and Clarke went to the kitchen to get them all drinks.

Jake was in there biting into an apple.

“Did you talk to her?” he asked immediately.

“I did.”

“And did you sort things out?”

“…I think we’re getting there.”

Clarke woke up confused and slightly disorientated, and for a moment she forgot that she wasn’t in her bed in New York. Lexa wasn’t in the bed and after a quick scan of the room she spotted the black out curtain cracked open by the sliding door.

When Clarke got up to see if Lexa was there she found her outside, leaning on the railing of the porch. It was still dark outside, or as dark as it could get and the only noises that could be heard were from the wildlife in the woods around them.

 It was slightly chilly, so Clarke ducked back inside and grabbed two blankets. She placed the first around her own shoulders and brought the other for Lexa.

She opened the door and stepped outside. Lexa turned at the noise. Clarke held the blanket out to her.

“Here, it’s cold.”

“Thanks,” she took the blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders.

“What are you doing up?” Clarke asked.

“Couldn’t sleep,” Lexa murmured, “I haven’t…I haven’t spoken about Costia as much as I did with you yesterday in a long time. She was on my mind is all.”

Clarke debated in her mind for a second then she said, “Maybe that would be good for you, to talk about her, it might help.”

Lexa hesitated for a second before nodding, “…Costia, she was very funny, she liked to make up the worst jokes and sometimes she would even wake me up in the middle of the night if she thought of a particularly horrific one. We were planning our future together; our wedding was only a few months away. She wanted four kids, I was not so fond of that idea, one was enough for me. She had the softest skin and the warmest eyes and she had the kind of voice that I could listen to all day. She was so kind, and so beautiful Clarke. So much so that I would often wonder why she chose me when she could have anyone else in the world.”

“You loved her a lot.” Clarke stated.

“Yes,” Lexa said, “And then she was gone and I didn’t know what to do with myself.”

“I can’t even imagine what you went through.”

“I wouldn’t wish that on anyone,” Lexa shook her head, “At the time I had been working the three jobs I mentioned to you before. When Costia…passed, she left me all of her belongings in her will, including her savings. I knew she would have wanted me to use it to help buy Grounders; I had been saving for so long for it. So I did. I quit my jobs and threw myself into the project. It made me feel closer to her, doing something she had wanted me to do.”

Lexa wasn’t sure how long she spoke about Costia for but by the time she finished, the moon had disappeared and the sun was rising lowly into the sky. Clarke had listened patiently the entire time and by the end of it Lexa was smiling softly.

“Did that that make you feel better?” Clarke asked curiously.

“No…but I feel lighter.” Lexa said, “I am exhausted now though.”

“We can always go back to bed?” Clarke suggested.

“I’d like that.”

They went back inside, Clarke closed the door behind them.

They climbed into the bed from opposite sides. And almost instinctively Clarke tugged Lexa over until her head rested against her chest; she wrapped her arms around the girl soothingly.

The action was completely platonic; Clarke just wanted to comfort her new friend. Lexa relaxed into the embrace, and as she drifted off the sleep her mind wandered to Clarke.

The girl who she hadn’t anticipated, the girl who was helping and comforting her even though she didn’t have too.

And rather than feel guilty, she felt content.

“Gran please don’t tell this story,” Clarke practically begged.

They were sat outside, Clarke and Lexa catching the sun but her grandmother sat under an umbrella, protecting her from the rays.

Lexa had her sunglasses over her eyes, Clarke forgot hers however, so she sat there squinting. Clarke had her hand resting on Lexa’s knee, and the brunette couldn’t help but be very aware of it. Especially how every so often Clarke would rub her thumb over her jean clad knee, or squeeze gently if she said something funny.

“Oh come on, Clarke, we’re just having fun, right Claire?” Lexa bumped her shoulder against Clarke’s and grinned in Claire’s direction.

“Exactly dear, lighten up Clarke,” she snapped, making Lexa chuckle.

“Alright but then you have to tell us something Lexa.”

Lexa thought for a moment, “Alright deal.”

Claire clasped her hands together, “Alrighty! As I was saying, when Clarke was a little girl for some reason she had an aversion to clothes,” Claire chuckled and Clarke hid her face in her hands, “If we went into town as soon as we got back she would be out of her clothes as soon as she stepped off the boat, leaving me to pick up her trail of clothes.”

“I think that’s enough Gran,” Clarke said.

“She had the cutest little tushy,” she recalled, Clarke turned even redder, Lexa held in her laughter.

“Once we had guests over and Clarke didn’t realise, she wandered right into the living room stark naked!”

Lexa burst out laughing, unable to contain it, “I’m sorry,” she apologised as Clarke glared at her, “But that’s kind of adorable.”

“No, it’s embarrassing,” Clarke groaned, “Anyway, it’s your turn.”

“Ok, ok.” Lexa tapped her chin with her forefinger as she thought, “When I was in my last year of high school I was the captain of the basketball team, we won our Nationals and I was voted MVP.”

Clarke glared at her, “Ok, what the fuck that wasn’t embarrassing that’s just awesome.”

“Clarke language,” Claire scolded.

“Sorry Gran.”

Lexa shrugged, “You never said embarrassing, you just said I had to tell you something, which I did.”

Claire laughed happily, “I like this one Clarke, she’s a real keeper.”

“So are you really not going to tell me anything?” Clarke asked with a pout.

“Sorry, I’m just too amazing, I don’t have any embarrassing stories,” Lexa lied.


“Clarke,” Claire scolded.

Clarke ducked her head bashfully, “Sorry Gran,” she apologised again.

“Alright girls, I’m going to head in, it’s getting a bit hot out here,” she said.

“Do you need some help?” Clarke asked, she made to get up but Claire stopped her.

“I’m old not an invalid,” she informed matter of factly, “You girls stay, I’ll be fine,” she assured.

They watched as Claire disappeared into the house, she slid the door closed behind her. Clarke turned so she was facing Lexa fully.

“You’re really not going to tell me an embarrassing story?”

Clarke gave her best puppy dog eyes and Lexa had to admit they were pretty good. She sighed.

“Alright fine,” she conceded.

“Yes!” Clarke exclaimed, “It has to be good, okay?”

Lexa rolled her eyes but nodded nonetheless, “Ok, fine. When I was in high school, I’m not sure how it happened but one of my teammates thought it would be a good idea to prank me.”

“What did they do?” Clarke asked, practically bouncing in her seat with excitement.

“They somehow managed to glue a very frilly, bright pink thong to the back of my jeans. I didn’t notice all day and not even the teachers pointed it out to me.” Lexa shook her head at the memory.

Clarke laughed loudly, “Oh my god that’s amazing. What did you do to them?”

“I kicked them off the team.”

“Did you really?” she asked with narrowed eyes.

Lexa chuckled, “No, but I did make them run ten laps every practice, on top of the normal work out. She said it was still worth it.”

Clarke leaned back on the sofa, gazing at Lexa with a small smile on her lips, “What else was high school Lexa like? Did she have all these tattoos and piercings, were you a rebel? I bet you got detention every week,” Clarke guessed.

To her surprise Lexa shook her head, “Actually I was very well behaved in high school, I was never late to class, I got pretty decent grades, I didn’t smoke. I was even in a few AP classes.”

“You’re just full of surprises aren’t you?” Clarke grinned.

“I like to think so.”

Lexa tensed as Clarke reached up and brushed a strand of hair away from her face, that had been caught on the edge of her lip. Her fingers brushed Lexa’s cheek softly.


“I know,” she all but whispered, “Sorry, your hair was on your lip.”

“Thank you,” she said.

Lexa’s voice was just as quiet, but her heart was thundering in her ears.

“You’re welcome.”

It was lunchtime and Clarke and Lexa had originally been asked by Abby to help her assemble sandwiches for everyone. But then Jake swept Clarke away, claiming that he needed help moving some boxes around, leaving Lexa alone with Abby for the first time since they met.

They had several slices of bread laid out on the breakfast bar, silently spreading various condiments on each slice.

“So how long did you and Clarke say you’ve been dating?” Abby asked.

“Almost 2 months,” Lexa answered, it was the first answer Clarke had given when someone asked so obviously they had stuck with it.

“And you said you own a club, is it?” Abby asked, her tone patronising.

“Yeah,” Lexa nodded. She didn’t think she’s ever had a more awkward and tense conversation in her life.

“And you didn’t go to college?”

Lexa placed her knife down and put her hands on her hips, ”I’m sorry, what are you doing?”

“I’m just making conversation,” she shrugged innocently.

Lexa scoffed, “No, you’re just parroting back all the stuff you know about me. So, I’ll ask again, what are you doing?” she asked evenly, “Are you trying to start an argument or something? Or do you just want to patronise me.”

Almost every conversation since Lexa and Clarke got here Abby had somehow managed to put Lexa down in someway or another and she had had enough of it.

“I don’t appreciate that tone.” Abby replied.

“And I don’t appreciate you talking about my life like I’m a complete failure.” Lexa scoffed, “You already do that enough with Clarke,” she muttered.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that you make Clarke’s life hell and you don’t even realise it, or you do realise and you’re doing it on purpose. Which is worse.” Lexa stated, “You can say all you want about my job, I realise owning a club isn’t as impressive as being a doctor or whatever you do, but you have to stop degrading Clarke for what she does.”

“Excuse me?”

“Look I’m sorry,” Lexa sighed, “I didn’t mean to be rude.”

“No I want to hear what you were going to say.”

“Clarke is an artist. A great artist even and she loves her job and she’s probably going to kill me for saying this stuff to you but hates that you don’t support her career.”

“I support her,” Abby replied defiantly, clenching her jaw uncomfortably.

“Then why doesn’t she think that?” Lexa asked. “My mom didn’t support me and now we don’t speak, the last time I heard from her was four years ago. Do you want that to happen to you and Clarke?”

Abby pursed her lips, “Excuse me,” she muttered. Then she slipped out the room.

Lexa groaned loudly, she leaned on the counter, resting her face in her hands. She hadn’t meant to blow up on Abby like that at all, but it had happened and she had to say, she didn’t regret it.

The door swung open and Clarke walked in looking confused.

“Did something happen with my mom?” she asked.

“Why? What did she say to you?”

“Nothing, she completely ignored me. Which is weird because I’m pretty sure I haven’t done anything to annoy her today.”

Lexa grimaced, “I’m sorry, that was my fault.”

“And that means…?”

Lexa spoke quietly, “I may have told her she needs to stop demeaning everything you do?” Clarke’s eyes widened, “And I told her she should be supporting you.”


“I sorry, I’m so sorry,” she interrupted, “I know I shouldn’t have said anything but she was digging at me and I couldn’t take it anymore.”

Lexa was surprised when Clarke strode over to her and wrapped her in a hug. Subconsciously, she placed her hands on Clarke’s waist.

“Thank you,” Clarke said sincerely.

“You’re welcome? I thought you’d be mad,” Lexa admitted.

“How could I be mad that you stood up for me?” Clarke laughed.

“I don’t know, it’s just she’s your mom…”

“Lexa, it’s fine. Seriously.”

“Ok,” she sighed in relief, “Good. Now, do you want to help me finish these sandwiches?”

Clarke chuckled, “Sure.”

Lexa spent the rest of the day avoiding Abby as much as she could because after their run in she really didn’t want to talk to the woman again, at least not for another twenty-four hours anyway.

It was night and she had thought the whole house was asleep as she went to grab a glass of water from the kitchen. So she was surprised when she bumped into Abby on the way back to her and Clarke’s room.

“Oh Mrs Griffin, I didn’t realise anyone else was up.”

“Yes, I was having trouble sleeping.” Abby excused.

She was about to continue walking but Lexa stopped her.

“Mrs Griffin, I just wanted to say sorry for speaking to you how I did earlier today.”

“It’s alright Lexa,” and oddly enough Lexa thought she sounded sincere, “I know I haven’t been the most supportive of her career choice but that’s only because she had such great potential to become a successful doctor and I only wanted what was best for her.” Lexa nodded slowly, “I never realised how much it…hurt her.”

“Maybe you should talk to her about this?” Lexa suggested softly.

“I will. Tomorrow.”

“Ok, good luck.”

“You must really love Clarke, to stand up to me like you did today,” Abby said, with a dry laugh. That made Lexa tense, “Oh I’m so sorry have you not said that to each other yet?”

“Not exactly.” Lexa told her.

“Well I see the way you look at her and the way she looks at you, I’m just glad you two found each other.”

“I’m glad we found each other too,” she said honestly, “Good night Mrs Griffin.”

“Good night Lexa.”

The next day they spent the majority of it getting all the heavy lifting for the party out of the way. Several family members and friends came over, bringing tables and chairs that would be used to set up outside for the fancy picnic Abby had planned. Even with everyone’s help it took most of the day.

Lexa and Clarke worked together helping as much as they could. As they worked Clarke tried not to be caught staring at Lexa’s arms and Lexa tried to not let her smirk show. After Lexa’s talk with Abby last night the woman was acting differently today. Sending her soft smiles that weren’t coated in condescension and talking to her about other things other than her work or her lack of college degree.

Clarke seemed to notice the difference too and later that day Clarke had pressed a kiss to Lexa’s cheek and whispered thank you in her ear and Lexa knew that Abby had spoken to her daughter.

Clarke also noticed that Lexa seemed…happier. Her smile was just that little bit brighter and when Lexa wrapped an arm around her waist in front of her family, Clarke actually felt like maybe Lexa wanted to put it there.

In the late afternoon Lexa and Clarke sat with Robert, playing a game of chess. Lexa had thrashed Clarke, even when she joined up with her grandfather Lexa still beat them. In the evening Jake barbequed for dinner, so everyone was sat outside on the patio, sitting on the outdoor sofas.

Clarke and Lexa sat next to each other, with a blanket over their shoulders. Robert and Claire sat in a similar position to them on the sofa across from them and Abby was helping Jake with the barbeque.

“Burgers and hotdogs!” Jake called.

Abby brought burgers over for Claire and Robert while Clarke jumped up telling Lexa she’d get theirs.

Clarke disappeared off to the barbeque and even with the blanket Lexa missed the warmth.

She gazed over the lake, a view she still hadn’t gotten used too. She subconsciously found herself thinking that Costia would have loved it here.

What she hadn’t expected was the tug in her heart to hurt less than it usually did with the thought of her ex fiancée.

It wasn’t much less, but it was enough for Lexa to notice the difference, and that’s what counted.

She knew that it was because of Clarke. She barely knew the girl but somehow, during this crazy week Clarke had managed to help her start to let go.

Lexa knew that she would always love and miss Costia but maybe Lincoln was right. Costia would want her to move on.

Moving on didn’t have to mean forgetting.

It was the day before the birthday party. At first Clarke didn’t understand why she was awake earlier than normal, she never woke up this early, but then she realised her bladder was about to burst and she fell ungracefully out of bed in her attempt to get to the bathroom.

When she walked back into the room the sidelight was on and Lexa was glaring at her, her arms crossed over her chest.

“What the hell Clarke?” she asked exasperated.

“I really had to pee,” Clarke excused.

Lexa groaned and flopped down on the bed, pulling the covers up and over her head. Clarke climbed back into bed.

When it didn’t seem like Lexa was going to show her face again, Clarke did the only thing she thought was logical. She ducked under the covers too. She lifted the duvet up with her arms, forming a tent underneath for their heads.

“Can you actually breath under here? I already feel like I’m suffocating.”

Lexa kept her eyes closed but Clarke was sure she was still awake.

Her theory was proved correct when Lexa grumbled, “Go to sleep Clarke. It’s not even six.”

“We’re up now anyway.”

“You’re up, I’m still asleep.”

“For someone who’s asleep, you hold a pretty decent conversation.”

“Oh my god Clarke, go away,” Lexa groaned, she rolled over turning her back to her.

“That’s just mean,” Clarke pouted.

“What’s mean is you keeping me awake!”

Clarke chuckled quietly to herself; she already decided earlier on in the week that grumpy Lexa was her favourite kind of Lexa.

“Lexa I’m bored,” she said, just to annoy the girl.

“Oh my god, just leave in the morning like you normally do.” Lexa moved from underneath the covers only to groan again when Clarke followed her, “I hate you. So much right now.”

“Lexa come eat breakfast with me,” Clarke whispered, right next to her ear.

She yelped as Lexa slammed her hands down onto the mattress on either side of her, she rolled over, so she was lying fully on top of the blonde, she placed one hand on Clarke’s mouth then proceeded to lie on her chest. She used the other hand to grasp Clarke’s hand that wasn’t trapped between their bodies and pinned it next to her head.

Clarke was effectively stuck.

“Are you really sleeping on me?” Clarke asked, although it came out muffled.

“Mmm,” Lexa hummed.

Clarke shuffled and wriggled to no avail, Lexa was very strong.

Eventually she gave up, residing to letting Lexa sleep on her, she deserved it anyway. Also licking her hand did nothing to deter her like it would most people.

It was forty-five later that Clarke spoke again.

“Lexa,” she whispered. No response, “Lexa,” she said slightly louder. Again, no response, “Lexa wake up!” Clarke said loudly.

Lexa jumped, she glared down at Clarke, “What the fuck Clarke?”

Clarke twisted her arm out from between them, “My arm was asleep,” she explained.

“Right, that’s another perfectly good reason to wake me up,” Lexa said sarcastically.

“Oh my god it’s going weird,” Clarke said flailing the limb, “It’s tingling, ahh! It feels so weird. Ow! Now it hurts. This is your fault Lexa Woods,” she exclaimed dramatically.

“I don’t remember you being this lively in the morning, ever.” Lexa said.

“Hey I get up before you!” Clarke reminded.

“And usually you’re so good about it.”

Just then there was a knock at the door and before Lexa could roll of Clarke it was swinging open. Abby walked in, already dressed for the day.

“Morning girls, oh I’m not…interrupting am I?” she asked uncomfortably as she noticed their position. She glanced away, taking interest in the bare walls.

“No Mrs Griffin,” Lexa assured as she rolled off of Clarke.

“Alright good,” she said, she still refused to look in their direction, “We need everyone up and helping if that’s alright, the party is tomorrow and we still have so much to do.”

“We’ll be out in a sec mom,” Clarke told her.

“Fantastic,” Abby said, and then she was gone and the door closed behind her.

As it clicked shut Lexa rubbed the palm of her hand up and down Clarke’s cheek.

“What are you doing?”

“That is all the dried saliva you put on my hand.” Lexa stated.

Clarke scrunched up her nose, and knocked Lexa’s hand away. “Gross.”

The Griffin family is clearly loved by the community because literally boat loads of people come to help and Lexa is pretty sure most of them just showed up ready to help without even needing to be asked.

A few were setting up a tent where a long buffet table was going to be set out, others had gone inside to start making the food and the people left were sent to arrange tables and place chairs around them, including Clarke and Lexa.

After that is done the two stay outside to opt for hanging up decorations rather than helping to cook, which neither girl was a huge fan off.

They had been given a large bucket of fairy lights and another one full with candles. The started with the candles first, placing them in good places where they wouldn’t make anything catch on fire.

Then they settle into the task of untangling the wires and treading them around the porch. Clarke throws the rest into a bush, claiming that it was ‘a special bush that deserved to be praised’ when Lexa knew that Clarke was just being lazy.

By the time that was finished most of the helpers had left, but they promised to come back tomorrow to help finish the final stages of setting up. And with Abby and Claire going into town to get their hair cut, that left Clarke and Lexa in charge of making a cake.

“Clarke that’s too much flour,” Lexa warned.

“Lexa I think I know what I’m doing,” she scoffed, “Both of my parents are doctors.”

Lexa barked a laugh at that, “That’s worse than saying I could fly a plane because my mother is a pilot. Could you also complete a surgery?” she asked sarcastically.

Clarke chuckled, “Maybe I could, how about I test it on you?”

“Yeah, let’s not do that,” Lexa said, holding back a grin.

“Is your mom actually a pilot?” Clarke asked curiously.

“Yes, the last time I spoke to her anyway,” Lexa nodded.

Lexa didn’t appear to want to say anymore so Clarke said, “Ok, next butter and sugar.”

Lexa meticulously measured out the butter and sugar but to Clarke’s annoyance, “Clarke, sighing and huffing won’t make me measure faster.”

“It might.”

“It’s not.” When Lexa passed Clarke the ingredients she just tossed them straight in, she went in with her hands, crumbling up the mixture. “Make sure you don’t get it too hot or it won’t work,” Lexa said as she read the recipe.

“Cooking with you is no fun,” Clarke frowned.

“Just make your crumble Clarke,” she says as she goes about weighing the raspberries and apples.

Making the crumble takes longer than it should because Clarke somehow messed it up even though that’s normally impossible. But soon enough they’re shoving two raspberry and apple crumbles into the oven.

“We can’t forget about them,” Lexa warned.

“They’ll be fine.”

Clarke washes and Lexa dries, it’s a good system and the kitchen gets clean in no time. They sit next to each other at the breakfast bar, sipping juice that Clarke had poured them.

“I should thank you Clarke,” Lexa said, her voice soft, “For talking to me the other morning. And for making me realise that maybe I shouldn’t bottle everything up.”

Clarke placed a hand on Lexa’s knee and squeeze, “Thank you for telling me about her.”

Lexa hesitated for a second and Clarke could see in her eyes that she had something to say, so she stayed quiet, “…It also made me realise that moving on doesn’t mean forgetting. I was always so scared that I would forget her but I now know I won’t. I think I can finally move forwards.”

“What are you saying?” Clarke asked, not daring to be hopeful.

“I like you Clarke,” Lexa confessed, “I liked you even when I told myself I couldn’t.”

“Lexa,“ Clarke breathed.

Lexa was leaning towards her then. It was like there was a magnetic pull, inching them closer, their lips were only a breath apart.

And then…

The door swung open.

They jerked apart.

“Hi girls!” Jake greeted, he faltered when he noticed their serious expressions, “…I interrupted again, didn’t I?”

Clarke sighed, “Kinda dad.”

“Right, my bad. I only wanted to see if you girls wanted to play a card game. I’ll just being going.” He ducked quickly out the room shouting another apology over his shoulder as she did so.

“I’m sorry about him, he’s a little crazy sometimes,” she chuckled.

“I see where you get it from,” Lexa teased.

“Hey,” Clarke pouted, “I’m normal…mostly.”

“Crazy isn’t always a bad thing,” Lexa pointed out.

“Ok true, I’m going to take it as a compliment then.”

“You do that,” Lexa chuckled.

Clarke cleared her throat, “So, before my dad walked in we were-“

“I think were where right about here.”

This time Lexa was much swifter, less hesitant. She brought their lips together in a searing kiss and Clarke practically melted into it. Lexa’s hand moves to Clarke’s cheek, she tilted her head to deepen the kiss.

They only broke apart when someone cleared their throat. The two girls jumped and Clarke cursed their luck. For such a big house she didn’t understand how this kept happening.

Claire stood by the kitchen door, a hand on her waist. They hadn’t even heard her come in. They felt their cheeks redden and subconsciously they both shuffle away from each other, so there was a slight distance between them.

“That’s not how we baked in my time, I’ll tell you that,” she said and Lexa and Clarke's blush deepened.

Abby walked in a moment later. She took in the scenario in front of her.

“What’s wrong?” she asked. “Did something happen to the desserts?”

“No, they’re fine, they’re cooking,” Clarke told her quickly.

“Oh, then what happened?”

“Nothing,” Lexa told her.

“Is it hot in here?” Clarke asked.

“No?” Abby said, “It’s fine to me.”

“Oh well I’m really hot, I think I’ll just have to leave the kitchen. The crumbles need to come out in ten minutes mom.”

Clarke and Lexa start to head for the door.

“Claire, what’s going on with those girls?” Abby asked.

The door was shutting behind the two girls when Claire said, “They were kissing dear, and they’re embarrassed that I walked in,” she stated matter of factly.


The door closed shut behind them.

“Oh,” Abby blinked. “Well that certainly explains it.”

In the evening Robert called everyone down to the living room where he had brought out various board games. Everyone sat around the table and they played until late into the night. Lexa, who wasn’t one to normally like them actually had a lot of fun, even with Claire teasing them the whole time.

Clarke and Lexa were drained from laughing so much. They changed into their pyjamas silently and when they climbed into bed together they immediately found each other, Lexa spooning Clarke this time.

They fell asleep almost instantly.

Clarke was woken up by her grandmother calling her name, she groaned as she opened her eyes. Lexa did the same.

“Oh good you’re up,” Claire said.

“We are now,” Clarke huffed as she sat up.

She clapped her hands together; “We need all hands on deck today! The party starts at 4 and we still have lots to do.”

Clarke groaned and slumped back onto the bed, covering her head with a pillow.

“I’ll get her up Gran, don’t worry,” Lexa said with a chuckle.

“Thank you dear, see you in a minute.” Claire headed out the room, “Don’t be long!”

Once she was gone and their door was shut Lexa rolled onto her side and faced Clarke, who still had a pillow over her head.

“You heard Gran, we need to get up,” Lexa said as she prodded Clarke’s stomach.


“Clarke it’s your Granddad’s birthday,” Lexa reminded, “We need to get up.”

“I hate that you’re a good person,” Clarke groaned.

“I thought you were a morning person?” Lexa questioned.

“I am but six is not morning, that’s still practically midnight.”

“Not according to how you were acting yesterday morning, you were very annoying and awake then,” Lexa teased. “Come on Clarke,” she said when the girl didn’t move.

When she didn’t make to move, Lexa tugged the covers off of her, but that did nothing as well. Clarke just curled up into a ball on her side and clenched her eyes shut.

“What if,” Lexa began, “If I can persuade you?”

Clarke cracked open an eye, “And how would you do that?” Lexa answered by kissing her swiftly. She moved away to soon for Clarke’s liking. “I think you’ll need to persuade me a bit more,” she said with a grin.

Lexa rolled her eyes, “You’re a terrible person Clarke Griffin.”

Clarke laughed, “Just kiss me.”

Lexa obliged, she pulled Clarke on top of her and brought their lips together again. The kisses were light; they brushed their lips over each other’s gently. Lexa nudged Clarke’s nose with her own. Then she pressed her fingers into Clarke’s sides sharply, making her burst out laughing and roll off of her.

“What was that for?!”

“We have to get up now.” Lexa reminded.

Clarke threw a pillow at Lexa’s head but she got up anyway. It may be early, but if Lexa was there to kiss her in the morning, Clarke couldn’t help but think she could get used to it.

They spend the morning throwing clothes over tables, delicately setting out cutlery and placing candles and flowers in the middle of tables.

After that task is completed they go to the kitchen were a group of people are assembling the food they couldn’t make yesterday. The food took the most time but soon they were covering it with cling film and carrying it out to put under the food tent.

By the time things were coming together it was already 3 o’clock and Clarke and Lexa still hadn’t gotten ready.

Jake waved them away, “Go get ready girls, I can finish putting the bunting up by myself,” he assured.

“Thanks dad.”

They wandered into the house and found their way to their bedroom, their hands clasped together.

Clarke already had her dress set out but Lexa dug through her bag to find hers.

“Oh shit I haven’t gotten Robert a present,” she gasped in realisation.

“Don’t worry, I got a present from both of us. Your name is on the card and everything,” Clarke assured her.

“What did you get him?”

“A watch,” Clarke told her. "He probably won’t ever wear it, but it’s a good one and it was the only thing I could think of.”

“You’re a life saver,” Lexa sighed, “I felt terrible for a moment.”

“I could tell,” Clarke teased. “I think I’m gonna shower before I get dressed,” Clarke told Lexa before disappearing into the bathroom.

She came out fifteen minutes later and Lexa was finished getting dressed. When Clarke saw her, she actually felt her jaw slacken.

Lexa wore a pair of black trousers, with a grey button down shirt tucked in. Her hair was up in a nice bun, pulling her hair out of her face, accenting her eyes. She was just tugging her black bow tie into place when Clarke walked out of the bathroom.

“Wow,” Clarke awed, “You look great.”

Lexa smirked at Clarke’s reaction, “So do you.”

“I’m in a towel.”

“Exactly,” Lexa winked.

“I was trying to compliment you,” Clarke pouted, pretending to be annoyed.

Lexa chuckled, “Right, sorry. Thank you.” When Clarke didn’t stop frowning Lexa reached forwards and tugged on Clarke’s towel, bringing the blonde closer.

She guided her towards the bed, connecting their lips as they toppled onto it. Clarke’s back hit the mattress and Lexa landed on top of her. Clarke’s hands roamed up and down Lexa’s back and Lexa brought one hand to cup the back of Clarke’s neck, the other palming her breast over the towel. Clarke moaned into Lexa’s mouth.

“Clarke could you do up my- oh my god!” Abby exclaimed, she covered her eyes with her hands, “That is not getting dressed girls,” she gasped.

“Oh my god! Why the hell does this keep happening?! Is there no privacy in this house?” Clarke groaned.

Lexa quickly extracted herself from Clarke, who quickly tugged her towel back into place. She sat next to Clarke on the bed, suddenly feeling like she was a teenager again.

All three women were blushing, Abby most of all.

There was an awkward pause where no one said anything.

Lexa cleared her throat. “You look lovely Mrs Griffin,” she said.

“I- Thank you Lexa,” she said, “Actually I’ll just go and find your father to do up my dress.” Abby backed out the door, “And I expect both of you ready in ten minutes, guests should be arriving soon and the candles still need to be lit.”

The door shut behind her.

And then Lexa was laughing. The kind of laugh that hurts your side and makes you double over, she was just glad she hadn’t put her make up on yet.

“Lexa this isn’t funny,” Clarke said, even though she herself was now holding back a smile, “My mom walked in on us.”

“Come on Clarke, it’s a little funny.”

The party started off with the meal, Clarke had insisted it was a late lunch and Lexa said it was an early dinner, which prompted Clarke to call it ‘Linner’ for the rest of the evening.

Lexa and Clarke sat at a table with her parents, grandparents and two of Clarke’s uncles. Once again Clarke and Lexa acted like a couple, except this time they weren’t acting. When Clarke pressed a kiss to Lexa’s cheek or Lexa draped her arm over Clarke’s shoulders, they were doing it because they wanted to, not because they had to.

After the meal Robert opened a few presents and then Abby and Jake disappeared into the house, appearing a few minutes later with a large chocolate cake that needed both of them to carry it.

Later, the wait staff that Abby had hired cleared away the plates and the food from the buffet, replacing it with a drinks bar. The music was turned up and everyone spread out around the gardens of the house.

Some people chose to stay sitting at the tables to chat, others moving to the sofas on the porch. Some were even dancing underneath where Jake had set up the bunting, which had naturally found it’s way to being a make shift dance floor, because of it’s placement near the speakers.

At one point during the evening Finn came to speak to them. Lexa apologised for her behaviour the first time they meet after a few looks from Clarke but after that he left them alone.

There were several kids running around and Lexa had been horrified as they spotted Clarke and swarmed around them. Lexa liked children, just not in large numbers. Clarke had just laughed at her expression, handed her the glass she was holding and then picked one of the kids up to rest them on her hip.

Clarke had just convinced the kids to leave them alone for a while, Lexa felt her shoulders relax.

“You act like they’re sharks that are trying to eat you,” Clarke teased.

“They might as well be,” Lexa joked back.

Clarke took Lexa’s arm and led her over to look at the lake. She took her drink back from Lexa and drank a sip.

“It’s beautiful out here.” Lexa said.

“It is,” she agreed, “You know, drawing the lake was what first inspired me to be an artist. I used to spend hours and hours trying to draw it, there must be books filled with the same thing over and over again.”

“You’ll have to show me some time.”

“Maybe if you’re lucky,” Clarke teased.

There was a pause and Lexa could practically hear Clarke thinking, “Is something wrong Clarke?”

“No,” she shook her head, “I was just thinking about stuff,” she supplied vaguely.

“And that is?” she prompted.

“I was just wondering where you stand. I know what happened with…Costia still hurts you, but are you ready for something more now?”

“I told you I liked you Clarke.”

“I know, I just wanted to make sure, I don’t want you to do anything you’re not ready for.”

“Thank you for caring but I think I am,” she admitted.

“We can take things slow,” Clarke suggested.

Lexa chuckled, “I think we’ve skipped past slow Clarke. We slept together and then a week later we’re on a vacation together.”

Clarke smiled sheepishly, “Oh yeah, ok maybe not slow then. We can go at our own pace, Clarke and Lexa pace.”

Lexa took a sip of her drink, she stared at Clarke over the rim of the glass. “Yeah, that sounds nice.”

Then Clarke asked suddenly, “Do you want to dance with me?”

Lexa nodded, “I’d love too.”

They finished off the last sips of their drinks before placing them on a random table and heading to dance floor. The song was slow, so Clarke placed her hands on Lexa’s waist and Lexa’s wrapped over Clarke’s shoulders.

“You know, when I came on this trip I thought I was just getting a free trip to Alaska,” Lexa chuckled, “But now I have you too.”

Clarke grinned, because before now she had been slightly unsure where they stood, but with Lexa implying that they were a couple, she felt herself relax a little, “A lot has definitely happened," Clarke agreed. “When we get back, I’d like to take you on a proper date,” she said quietly but boldly.


“Yeah. If you’d like to.”

“That sounds perfect Clarke.”

Clarke brought their lips together but kept it short and chaste because of all the people around.

They danced until they complained that their feet hurt. Then they went back to the table, Lexa fetching them both another drink. Clarke smiled softly at Lexa as she spotted her chatting to her grandmother at the drinks table.

Later that night Clarke and Lexa stumbled into their bedroom. Clarke pressed Lexa against the door as soon as it was shut, making her moan into her mouth.

They made their way to the bed; clothes shed as they did so, then they tumbled into the mattress clumsily.

Yeah, a lot had definitely happened, but both girls couldn’t be happier with how everything had turned out.

The next day they woke up late, tangled in each others limbs and bodies pressed against each other’s.

They woke up slightly later than they had wanted to, so they jumped into the shower together, which logically hadn’t been the best idea because it took almost twice as long as normal. They had gotten dressed quickly before tossing their clothes, which had scattered around the room during the weeks stay, into their bags.

They checked that everything was in order before heading out to the kitchen. When they got there Clarke’s parents and grandparents were all in the kitchen still in their pyjamas. Everyone was at the table except for Jake who was filling up a glass of water.

“Morning girls,” Robert said.

“Hi Granddad,” Clarke pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“You have to leave soon, right?” Jake said.

“In about half an hour,” Lexa told them.

“You’re not just going to get out of cleaning up are you?” he joked.

“You caught us dad,” Clarke grinned.

He ruffled her damp hair, as he walked by, “A-ha! I knew it.” Clarke ducked away from him.

“Girls get some breakfast before you go,” Claire said. She picked up two plates and passed them along to them.

“Thanks Gran,” Clarke said, she took the plates and gave one to Lexa.

Breakfast passed quickly and surprisingly Clarke found she was disappointed about to leave, when at the beginning of the week she had been dreading even coming.

She knew it was because of Lexa, she wasn’t sure what Lexa had said to her mother exactly, during their talk she had only told her that Lexa had spoken to her, but something had changed, things still weren’t perfect but they were getting there.

They were down by the boathouse; they had already loaded their bags into the boat and now they were saying their goodbyes.  

Jake pulled both girls into a hug, “Come back soon ok?” he said, “Don’t leave so long between visits.”

“Ok I promise.” Clarke assured him.

“And you Lexa, look after my girl,” Jake slapped a hand onto Lexa’s shoulder affectionately.

“With all due respect sir I don’t think I need to.”

Jake smiled widely, “I don’t know how you do it,” he said, “But every time I think I can’t like you anymore you say something like that.”

Lexa shrugged bashfully as Clarke pressed a kiss to her cheek.

“Come hug your Granddad,” Robert called over, “We don’t have all day.”

“Sorry,” Clarke chuckled as she hugged him tightly. He hugged Lexa next and wished her all the best.

Claire squeezed her way in between Lexa and Clarke, wrapping her arms around both of their waists.

“Bye Gran,” Clarke said.

“It was lovely to meet you Gran,” Lexa said.

“You too my dear,” she replied with a soft smile, “Now, I’m going to be ninety in seven months and I expect both of you back up here.”

Lexa chuckled, “We’ll try Gran.”

Clarke grinned, she placed a hand on Lexa’s back catching her attention, “We will?” she asked quietly.

“Of course.” Lexa nodded.

Clarke’s heart sped up in her chest, obviously her parents and grandparents wouldn’t understand the implication of Lexa’s words but Clarke sure did. Lexa wanted a future with her.

Abby said goodbye last, she placed a hand on Lexa’s shoulder, it was slightly uncomfortable for both women but it was a step forward from the nod she received when they first met.

“It was so nice to meet you Lexa,” she said honestly.

“You too Mrs Griffin.”



“Please, call me Abby.”

Then Abby pulled her daughter into a warm hug, Clarke buried her face into her mom’s neck as she hugged her back, “I love you,” Abby said and her voice was sincere and tinged with regret.

“I love you too mom.”

“Call when you land.”

“I will.”

Soon they were speeding off towards the town. As Clarke drove, Lexa reached across and grasped her hand in her own. They stayed like that all the way to town.

Clarke broke the chocolate chip cookie she had just bought down the middle, “Do you want half?” she asked, holding one piece out to Lexa. She took a bite of the other.

Lexa took it, “Thanks.”

They were sat at their gate; their flight was going to be ten minutes late, so they were just waiting to board now.

“It’s so weird, this week has gone by so fast but at the same time it feels like it lasted forever,” Lexa said.

“Like when you finish high school,” Clarke supplied.


“Except this actually good and high school sucks ass,” she added.

“Again, you are right,” Lexa chuckled.

Clarke grinned at Lexa with a mouth full of cookie, “Something you should know about me Lexa, I’m always right, even when I’m wrong,” she said jokingly.

Lexa smiled back, “Good to now. Something you should know about me, I’m also always right.”

“I’ve been told I hold up pretty well in fight.”

Lexa laughed, “Who told you that?”

Clarke shrugged, “I don’t know, I made it up. But it sounded cool until you ruined it.”

“Right I’m sorry, I meant to say, yeah you could totally beat me in a fight Clarke Griffin,” Lexa said.

“Ok that didn’t even sound like you were trying.”

Just then a voice sounded over the microphone, telling them to start boarding. Clarke jumped out of her seat.

“We are going to continue this discussion on the plane.”

Their flight had been relatively smooth and there had been less turbulence than last time much to Lexa’s delight and now they stood outside the airport.

Clarke had her suitcase next to her feet, Lexa had her bag over her shoulder and both girls didn’t want to leave the other just yet.

“Thank you for taking me to Alaska.”

“Thanks for saving my ass,” Clarke chuckled.

Lexa smirked. “Well it’s a nice ass.”

Clarke shoved Lexa’s shoulder, “Shut up.”

Lexa just grabbed Clarke’s forearm and tugged her close so she could kiss her gently.

“Look, I have to go,” she said regretfully, “I promised Lincoln I would have dinner with him when we got back.”

“Ok,” Clarke nodded, “But I’ll see you soon, right?”

Lexa pressed another kiss to Clarke’s lips, “Of course, you promised me a date, remember?”