A few days turn into a week, then two.
It’s still difficult to meet Jim’s eyes, but at least he’s not jerking off to him every night. Of course he wants to check his page, but resists out of mindfulness of the last shred of respect between them. He still finds himself staring at Jim when he can, and wondering what he’s getting up to behind the barrier of his closed door. He tells himself he’s doing the right thing, but the temptation is killing him slowly.
At the beginning of week three, a notice arrives in the mail that has Dell forgetting briefly about his transgressions. The neat print on the paper details various things, such as Dell’s history of renting his shop and the renter’s assurance that he is not being forcibly removed from the premises, but that the rent on the shop will be increasing by enough that it makes Dell’s blood runs cold. Just when he’d thought he’d caught up, here was this piece of news plunked in his lap.
When Jim gets home, Dell is sitting at the table, still staring at the notice. He’s half drunk and stewing when the younger man puts an arm around him and reads over his shoulder. Dell is assured by his charge that they’ll be okay, that he’ll take extra work to help Dell out; but the older man knows it means more videos, more temptation. Still, the cash is good and right now, he’s not in a place to argue with Jim about it. He just accepts it with another shot of whiskey.
Two days later and Dell’s resolve has broken. He’s too depressed to care about his mortal soul, and hops onto the computer to check Jim’s page. What he finds when he gets there sinks a pit into his stomach. A message broadcasted loud and clear across Jim’s page has his skin crawling.
Looking to hook up? I need to make some extra $$$, if you wanna drill me on commission hit me up! I’ll blur your face and charge extra and we’ll split the cash even steven~
He’s actually looking for someone to have sex with on camera? Some stranger? There’s no telling how many bad things could happen! The stranger could hurt him. He could have an STD. He could be unstable, lose his temper, he could kill Jim. There are so many variables and so many avenues for this to go bad, Dell’s head is spinning.
How many people have already contacted him? Has he already made plans, accepted? Is he planning on bringing someone into Dell’s house to fuck? Unacceptable. He has to think of Jim’s safety first and foremost, and he’d rather he lose his shop for good than risk Jim’s safety.
This new tidbit of information leads him right back into his old habits, and intensifies them. Every morning and night he’s checking Jim’s page, expecting his horrors to be realized one day when he’ll find that another man has had him first. Of course he tries to tell himself that this isn’t about jealousy, it’s about Jim’s safety, but he knows he’s lying to himself. Envy is not an emotion Dell has grappled with often in his life, so when it comes up it’s hard for him to swallow and bitter going down.
One night, after a particularly rough day in the shop, he retreats early to his bedroom after dinner. Jim hadn’t come down to eat, so Dell had put away some leftovers for him for when he was less busy. There was no telling what the kid was up to. But when he logs into Xtube and goes to check Jim’s page, he sees that he’s online and not only that, but in a live stream.
Jim is upstairs filming himself right now, at this very moment. He’s jerking off. He’s taking requests and Dell is too tired to fight with himself to resist. Setting his guilt aside, he pays for the stream and waits.
The video loads, slightly pixelated, and he finds Jim wearing a jockstrap, white knee socks and tight tank top, wearing a red bandana tied around his face again- his earliest method to hide his face. There’s no opportunity to edit his face blurred, so he has to resort to cheaper ways.
Dell notices with a sick drop in his stomach that there are exactly 712 other paying customers logged in and watching the stream. That means that at 15 bucks a pop, he’s made at least ten thousand on this one stream alone, with over seven hundred pairs of eyes watching him fondle himself through his underwear.
Dell is warring with his arousal, knowing that Jim is currently upstairs touching himself - he could walk in on him and hold him down and fuck him in front of everyone, claim him in front of almost a thousand people. He could interrupt his stream, all he would need to do is get up and go upstairs... but he can’t bring himself to do that.
Instead he just watches queasily as Jim reads through the livechat and takes a suggestion to turn around and show his ass to the camera. He wiggles his perfect bottom, and gives himself a spank, chuckling under his breath with a whispered, “You like that?”
More viewers trickle slowly into the stream, and Dell’s heart sinks lower and lower. He hides his face in his hands, trying to catch his breath, anxious, guilty, and aroused all at once. It’s an uncomfortable feeling that makes his skin crawl as if it were covered in fire ants. He considers leaving the stream, but his fascination with Jim keeps him there.
He slides his cock out of the slit in his boxers and with one hand types his request: Finger yourself, pretty boy.
He curses himself in one breath and waits eagerly with the other. Will he do it? Dell bites down on his lip as his fingers draw over his intimate flesh. If he does, he’ll be taking an order directly from Dell, in real time. It’s the closest he can come to outright having sex with Jim, and the realization has him stifling a groan by biting down on his hand.
Jim fills a few other requests, showing the bottoms of his sock feet for one user, and then grinding his clothed prick up against his hand while flat on his back for another, before he sees the request from the user TinkerBear. He rolls over onto his belly and raises his ass into the air and whispers right into the camera,
“Long time no see, daddy. You want me to get those panties of yours out and slip them on for you?”
A flurry of comments flood the live chat, several people concurring the idea of Jim putting on those undies, a few bemoaning the potential loss of the jock strap, but Jim waits patiently to see what Tinkerbear will say. He might not have bought that video, but the stream costs more than the video did anyway, so if he wants him to put them on, he will. They deserve a little mileage, anyway.
Oh god. Dell feels a pang of guilt well up with the wave of lust that swells in his chest and bathes him from head to toe in white heat. Jim looks absolutely beautiful posed with his backside up, and the older man longs to give him a playful swat.
Be a good boy and show daddy your pretty things.
Dell imagines giving the order verbally and he has to wipe sweat from his brow. He hopes Jim will film himself getting dressed; he’d love to watch those stockings slide along his supple legs, see him stuff himself into those panties. Then Dell remembers that day in Jim’s room and he feels sick with excitement.
Jim grins and rolls off the bed with a promise to be right back, and Dell can’t stop himself from moaning out loud when he hears the faint thumping of Jim’s feet upstairs, heading to his closet. He could walk upstairs and find him in the act of undressing to put on panties- panties that he himself jerked off to just a couple weeks ago.
Jim crawls back onto the bed completely nude, his prick wobbling at half-mast as he holds the wad of cloth in his hands. He takes one person’s request to emphasize the bottoms of his feet as he slips the stockings on, high over his legs. The material clings to his thighs as he pulls them up as high as they will sit, and wiggles his hips a bit on his knees, his cock bouncing from side to side and his legs a paler, iridescent white.
He turns around and grabs the bra, slipping the straps up over his shoulders, and quickly clips it behind his back. He faces the camera again, sitting up on his knees, and wiggles the panties. “You guys want me to put them on?” he teases.
Dell isn’t the only one to chime in his support for the idea. The stream chat is full of others eager to see Jim in his lingerie, though there are some still protesting the loss of the jock strap. As he watches Jim comply with the request, he wonders how the kid feels about donning these lacy things. Does he enjoy how they feel, or is he just putting on a good show for his audience. Of course Dell hopes the former to be true, and swiftly his mind is filled with thoughts of taking Jim shopping for fancy lingerie and cute outfits, or otherwise showering him with gifts fit for a princess.
Good boy. You look so pretty. Dell types into the chat. You’ve made Daddy very happy. Will you dance for me?
Dell moans out loud again when he hears music start playing upstairs. Jim sways his hips to the beat, sliding his hands down his body, into the band of his panties. He almost pulls them down, flashing the very base of his mostly shaved cock, but slides the straps back into place over his hips.
He stretches his arms overhead and elongates his muscles, swirling his hips in lazy circles, sighing with pleasure as he slides the material of the bra out of the way to pinch at his hard nipples.
“You all like this?” he whispers, barely audible over this music. “Any of ya wanna hook up? I’m still looking for someone to fuck. Bigger the cock the better, I wanna get plowed.”
The chat lights up with at least a hundred people graphically detailing exactly how they’d fuck Jim. He chuckles as he reads over a couple clumsily written comments, but none of them seem to be very serious about actually making plans to hook up.
The older man feels his blood boiling over as those words fall on his ears. He’s so tempted to tell Jim exactly what he wants to do to him that his hands rest anxiously on the keys and he’s all but stopped touching himself. Jim wouldn’t know it was him until they’d worked out all the details, and he pictures the look of utter shock that Jim would be wearing when he saw just who TinkerBear is. But in his mind, that shock turns quickly sour and he can see Jim losing his mind to anger, storming out and leaving him for good. No. He can’t indulge his jealousy or his desire. He can’t lose Jim like that.
Dell reins himself in and breathes slow and steady. He’ll just have to hope that Jim doesn’t get any takers for this venture of his. He should have faith in the kid. While he’s never been the most cautious of sorts, he’s definitely not stupid. Maybe he’ll give up in a couple of weeks when he finds no worthy partner.
He gets off to Jim’s stream in the end and falls into a restless sleep plagued by nightmares. Waking up several times makes him tired by the next day, and the week doesn’t look much better. Between his bills and the situation with Jim he has very few moments to just relax and be at peace. It’s a grand thing at least that he’s got other troubles, otherwise Jim might have probed him about his sour mood of late.
The following week, Dell returns home from a trip to the grocery to find that Jim’s gotten home before him. The weekend frees him up a bit from school and gives him some time to be free from obligations. Dell notes that he looks particularly happy today, and he wonders if he’s secretly found someone to do a video with. Swallowing down his envy and fear, he makes a beeline for the kitchen and begins putting the goods he’s bought away in their respective cabinets and nooks.
When he turns back from the fridge and Jim is standing there in the kitchen, holding a check in hand. Dell takes it with shaking hands and when Jim starts talking about one thing or another, he completely zones out as his blood runs cold. The check is for five hundred dollars, made payable to Dell, and some of that money is his. He paid for the stream. He jerked off with Jim upstairs, filming with his panties on. Certain his face has gone red, he sets the check down on the counter and looks as if he’s about to be ill.
“Hey... you okay?” Jim’s voice cuts through his anguish a few moments later. “You don’t look so good. You need to sit down?”
Watching Dell lean his weight on the counter was distressing to say the least. He hasn’t been in the best of health lately as far as Jim has been able to tell, and he really doesn’t want to call an ambulance for Dell for any reason. He comes up beside him when Dell doesn’t answer and rests a hand in the middle of his back.
He repeats, a little more urgently, “Dell, dude, are you okay?”
“I’m . . . not okay Jimbo.” He hadn’t been okay for a while, but the question now is should he tell him? It’s getting to be too much. It can’t go on like this, it just can’t. Eventually, something’s going to happen and all the secrecy and filth are going to come down on his head. Maybe it’ll be today when it happens. Why is part of him hopeful? Why does he want to be found out?
He rattles his way over to the table and takes a heavy seat. This is it-- but he can’t just blurt out that he knows what Jim’s been up to.
“Listen Jim, I got myself down to the grocery store a couple of weeks back, and they told me you’d been fired. Didja find a new job?” He’s shaking when his eyes meet Jim’s for the briefest moment, and he sees a flicker of panic in the young man’s face.
Jim feels his blood run cold. “O-oh, yeah. I did. Didn’t I tell ya?” he laughs forcedly. “Whoops, shit, I guess I forgot to tell ya. I got a... campus job. In one of the cafes. Cafe... Nottingham. Yeah, I’m a real important cafe-er. Got me in charge of all the other cafe-ristas. That’s why I’m making so much money now.”
“Thought you said you got promoted.” Dell’s heart’s racing and his mouth is dry. “Jim, you don’t gotta lie about what you’re doing. Just be honest with me. What are you really getting up to that’s got you making this much cash? Ain’t no cafe pays this much.” It feels wrong, calling him out like this, but he can’t let Jim know that he knows.
Jim’s own heart is pounding frantically in his chest. Why hadn’t he prepared for this? This should have been something he’d been practicing for weeks! His palms go sweaty and his throat clenches up.
“Look, it’s nothing. I ain’t doing anything illegal. It’s just like... online shit. People will pay for anything online!” he babbles, wringing his hands together. He knows he doesn’t have to specify exactly what he’s been doing for Dell to put the pieces together. “It doesn’t matter, alright? Long as you get the money, right? And now I’m making enough to send some home too, so it’s a good thing! Just- just drop it. It’s all fine.”
“It does matter,” Dell replies, his hand falling heavily on the table as he gives Jim a long, even stare. If this continues, Jim will start bringing complete strangers into his house, and there’s no telling what could come from that. He could be killed, he could be beaten, he could get sick. There are too many stray variables to consider, and all of them make Dell’s skin crawl. “Tell me. The truth. Is it safe?”
“Yeah, it’s safe!” Jim doesn’t mean to shout or get defensive. He didn’t think it would make him this embarrassed. He has no shame when he’s actually performing, so this shouldn’t bother him so much.
He guesses he’s just terrified that Dell will think he’s depraved, or be disappointed in him for resorting to this. Dell is a southern fella, maybe he’ll have old-fashioned standards about sex, how it should be all about love and shit. And sure, it might be nice to have sex only with people he loves, but that isn’t an option and they need the money. He doubts Dell would understand.
“I promise, it’s all safe. I’m totally safe. I ain’t doing anything dangerous,” he repeats.
Perhaps it’s a combination of his own emotions and the frustration emanating from Jim. Dell doesn’t have time to ponder what spurs him to do it, but he growls quietly, “And I guess fucking strangers is safe?”
Jim nearly faints on the spot. His mouth goes dry, his palms are practically dripping with sweat, and his forehead starts to bead too. A chill runs up his spine and he has to lock his knees to keep his legs from giving out from under him.
His automatic defense his anger, he has to keep himself safe from anything else Dell might say. A reflex from growing up with seven brothers, he immediately jumps into indignant fury. “People fuck strangers all the time, old man!” he shouts defensively. “And it ain’t any of your business who I decide to fuck! As long as you get a cut of the profits you shouldn’t care either!”
Suddenly his anger is doused under an icy blast of shock. “Wait...” he takes a step back before Dell can wind up a response. “I didn’t say- I didn’t tell you I was lookin’ to hook up.”
Dell is infuriated, but he remains quiet and simply stews a moment or so, but he doesn’t have long to mull over his anger before Jim starts piecing things together. It isn’t as though Dell had made it hard for him, he really shouldn’t have spoken out of anger. The older man looks away. He doesn’t have the resolve to meet Jim’s eyes.
Folding his hands together on the table top, he stares out of the window and draws a shaking breath between his lips. “I just assumed.” He finally speaks, but it’s a pathetic ruse, and he doesn’t put much into it to make it believable.
“Bullshit,” Jim snaps, his eyes watering a bit. It’s from anger, it has to be. “You been snooping on my computer? I’m not a kid anymore, Dell! I know I was a shitty little kid when we met but you can’t treat me like a kid forever! I got a job, I’m in college, I’m old enough to drink, god damn it I’m an adult!”
“No I ain’t been snooping.” It’s a half lie. He’d remember that day he had gone into Jim’s room until the day he’s dead and gone, but he’s not about to reveal that secret. “Jim, I just want you to be safe. I just want what’s best for you. You’re like a son to me. I love you.” Dell grapples with the idea of confessing all he’s done, but a single shred of fear keeps him from doing it. Jim deserves the truth, but he can’t even give him that.
Jim’s jaw clenches. He knows Dell’s lying face, because he’s never been a very good liar. But this is new. He looks... guilty. He looks like he’s about to be sick about something. He’s definitely lying about something. Jim’s fists clench next and he frowns down at the seated man. “You fuckin’ jealous or something?” he accuses wildly.
Dell’s head snaps up, wearing a shocked expression, the opposite of what Jim was expecting. He was anticipating anger, a shouting match, maybe to be thrown out. If he can’t win an argument, he likes to at least get the last word. But this is something else.
Is he honestly jealous? He can’t be jealous if Jim only just told him about it. Unless... he didn’t. Maybe Dell knew. He sifts through the past few months and his mind clicks to the user TinkerBear. The oddball who never paid for his damn video- Jim had visited his page and seen a few webcam videos of belly play, but he hadn’t paid it any mind at the time. There were hundreds of bears on that website with beer guts.
It’s a stab in the dark, but something tells Jim that he’s not wrong. The look on Dell’s face, maybe. His willingness to talk so openly about porn, maybe.
“Like a son to ya, huh?” he jerks his chin at Dell. “Is that whatcha think Daddy?”
That word sends chills up and down his spine, and in any other context, Jim saying it to him would have made him hard in an instant. But that’s not what happens this time. Guilt is written all over his face, and mounting horror, as he realizes in an instant that Jim knows. It’s a mixture of fear and finality that sweep over him as he utters not a word in response and sits like a guilty dog with his head down.
There’s nothing he can say. His heart thrums against his chest so hard that he’s sure it’ll come out his mouth. Dell expects Jim to scream something at him, berate him for being the pervert that he is and storm out. None of that happens. The silence simply stretches between them for a hot minute.
Jim’s head is spinning. Dell isn’t denying it, that means it must be true. It was Dell who asked him to wear panties. Dell who has been following him for a month or so, watching him. Dell has been commenting on his videos to tell him how lovely he is. He can hardly believe it. What are the odds that Dell would find his porn page? He didn’t even think Dell was the type to watch porn.
Blood rises in his face and he goes totally pink. Dell thinks he’s sexy. Dell is into him. He feels dizzy, like he’s about to collapse. “Look,” he starts shakily. “I don’t care how you get your rocks off, but you can’t stop me from having a sex life. If I wanna have sex with people on camera, that’s my choice.”
Dell’s dizzy too, and he’s starting to feel like he’s floating away. His mind is jumbled and it feels like someone’s beaten him around the head. Jim knows, but apart from being angry he doesn’t seem phased by it. He doesn’t seem to care that Dell has seen him countless times in positions no man should ever see his son in. Doesn’t seem to care that he’s worn lingerie for him, or that he didn’t pay for the video. All he cares about is if Dell’s going to stop him from fucking strange men. This is not what he’d imagined when he’d played this day in his head.
“That’s not what I--!” Dell starts to shout but lowers his voice, and parched, begins again. “That’s not what I want for you Jimbo. It’s not. I just don’t want you to get hurt. You could be killed or raped, beaten . . . you could get a disease, son. All I want is for you to be safe. I’ll lose my goddamn shop if that’s what it takes. I’ll claim disability for my back and my arm. The military pension’ll pay for an apartment. I’ll sell the house--just don’t . . . do this. Please.”
Jim’s guts all twist up. “No way, man! I ain’t gonna let you lose your shop just cause you don’t want me fuckin’ someone! You ain’t even my real dad! If you’re so freakin’ squeamish about it, I won’t do it in your house, I’ll go to the other guy’s place! I’ll make it work, it’ll be fine. I told you I’d help you with mortgage and I freakin’ meant it. You ain’t gonna stop me from doing what I gotta do to pay my dues.”
“That’s even worse, goddamn it!” Dell fights the wave of nausea at the thought of Jim going to some stranger’s house and being subjected to something truly awful. “You don’t know what could be waiting for you when you get there!”
Jim’s fists clench again and he huffs through his nose like a bull. He gets that Dell is jealous, but he can’t just -
A thought hits Jim so hard it almost knocks him to the ground. He can’t believe how stupid he’s being. Here he is arguing with the guy he’s been crushing on for years about who he’s gonna fuck where, when Dell himself has been watching him fuck himself on camera for lord knows how long. If Dell wasn’t interested in him like that he definitely wouldn’t have paid to get into the stream to watch him.
A shudder ripples down his spine as he realizes that Dell was right downstairs jacking off and asking him to finger himself while he was filming in his room. If he’d paid Dell a visit he would have found him with his hands in his pants- fuck.
Sweat beads at his hairline and he swallows hard. He’s so good at dirty talking on camera, but now, faced with a man he not only is way into but also respects like nobody’s business, his tongue feels tied in a knot. “Well... I gotta make money somehow,” he says, trying to sound accusing. “And if you ain’t gonna let me fuck someone else, then I guess you’re just gonna have to do it! I gotta make a living somehow!”
Dell’s head pops up and he stares at the light above the table for a good long while before his mouth will work. “I don’t-- I mean. Jim.” Well, maybe it’s not working as well as he thought it might. There’s a strange clarity forming between the two men, it’s like they’re seeing one another for the first time in a long while, and Dell’s not quite sure what to make of it.
He turns slowly to Jim and just looks him over for a moment or two. The kid looks like he might be about to cry or leap across the table at him, Dell’s not sure which, maybe both. Surely Jim is being sarcastic. He knows what he says next could be the point at which Jim leaves him for good.
“If you wanted me . . .” He can’t finish the sentence and he curses his voice for shaking.
Jim just stares. He was fairly sure that Dell would refuse, claim that there was some kind of boundary there. Or maybe Dell was only interested in him when he couldn’t see his face. His mind wanders back to Dell falling asleep on the couch under him- not exactly the behavior of someone receiving a back rub from someone they’re into.
He tries to speak. He tries to say something- anything. He can’t get his mouth to work. He just kind of mouth-breathes in Dell’s direction for a few moments before closing his eyes and covering his face with both hands. He’s so flushed, the blood’s just gonna start running out of his nose any second.
Scrubbing at his face, he finally drops his hands. “Look we can’t just- ya know. Jump into something like that. We should uhh.... ya know. Check if it’s... Weird or anything. First, right? Cause otherwise, I mean... I mean if you were even serious. We should try like... kissing first.”
Is this really happening? He wonders what on earth he’s done to even be considered. Jim’s into young, fit, attractive men. The kind of man Dell was about twenty years ago. Though he’s still got some muscle to him, his middle’s gone completely soft. He’s not the sort of man a young, hot guy like Jim would even consider going for.
Before he answers Jim, he rises from his place at the table and goes to the liquor cabinet for something to steady his thoughts, but as he does he remembers his own father’s drinking habits and considers just how reliant he’s been on the creature these past few weeks and he stops. Instead, he fills a glass with water and takes a couple of drinks of the cold stuff and finally turns back to Jim. In a hoarse voice: “Jim. I don’t think I’m . . . what you need. I’m old enough to be your father, I’m fat . . . maybe it’s not a good idea. I’m just a sicko.”
Jim’s face glows hotter. “For fuck’s sake, you won’t let me fuck someone else and you won’t do it yourself? You just gonna doom me to celibacy? ‘Scuse me while I go sign up for the priesthood!”
He smacks the table with his hand. “It ain’t a marriage proposal for cryin’ out loud, just get over here and kiss me!”
Dell’s seen him mad in previous years, but something about the ferocity with which he’s presenting now just scares the hesitancy right out of him. He finishes off the glass of water and comes back to where Jim is and, heart skipping a beat, he steps in close. Wrapping an arm around his waist, the fingers of his other hand brush the side of Jim’s face as he leans up and presses his lips to the taller man’s.
Their first kiss is short and sweet, but it’s far from awkward. Jim’s lips are surprisingly soft, and Dell knows his are chapped, but he licks them before so they’re at least moist. Before their embrace is over, he trails just the tip of his tongue along Jim’s bottom lip, then stepping back he asks, in a soft voice,“What do you think?” his blue eyes searching Jim’s.
Jim didn’t think Dell would do it. It feels like the flood has dropped out from under his feet. A shiver runs up his spine- it was over as quick as it started, he didn’t even really get to savor it. Dell’s arm around his waist has left a hot brand behind, soaking through his shirt and into his skin, and his face is on fire, especially in the places Dell’s whiskery beard tickled him.
Dell actually kissed him. The man he’s been longing after for years just kissed him on the mouth. His blood takes a sharp curve south and he nearly falls over, dumbstruck. Dell asked him a question, and he should probably answer, but he can barely even breathe.
“Uh... I dunno,” he says hoarsely, looking down at Dell. “It kinda... I mean... it wasn’t awful. But it was kinda... quick. Too quick to tell, you know? I think we should try again.”
He feels Jim go rigid against his belly, and his own blood surges south. “Maybe it would be better if we both relaxed a little. Let’s go sit on the couch.” He nods his head back toward the living room and leads the way, taking Jim by the hand. They’ve both got hard ons and neither is attempting to hide it from the other. Their faces are red as they take up seats on the furniture.
The angle is different, their knees are wedged tightly together and Dell has a strong urge to suggest that Jim straddle him, but he keeps it to himself. Now that they are here, together, he’d better not test his luck. The couch eliminates his need to stand on tip toes to reach Jim’s mouth, and that alone bolsters his confidence.
His arm returns to Jim’s waist. He’s so thin, Dell would worry if he didn’t know just how much running went in to making his physique so streamlined. This time, the older man showers his jaw with kisses before claiming his lips once more.
When he feels Jim’s hands toying with the nape of his neck, it sends chills up and down his body. Invigorated by the sensation, he glides his tongue over Jim’s lips as their bodies press tighter and tighter together. At some point, they end up with Dell almost laying atop Jim, both arms pinning him to the couch. As the kiss deepens, he moans open mouthed into Jim’s and nearly reaches down to cup him between the legs, but stops short, reeling himself in and hesitating. Jim seems to sense his reluctance and pulls him tighter against his body and Dell simply melts against him.
Who knows how long they’re locked in each others embrace. They’re both hot and panting when their lips part and each stares at the other. Dell is the first to break the silence, but only after he’s sunk back against the couch cushions and has wiped his brow. Voice heavy, he rumbles, “I don’t reckon that was awkward at all.”
“Fuck,” Jim gasps, jamming a hand down between his legs. It’s useless pretending he isn’t hard as diamonds, especially since Dell has already seen his cock in detail in all his videos. “Nah, I don’t think so,” he breathes, licking his lips.
Without giving himself time to second-guess, Jim climbs over Dell’s lap and lays against him. His long body curls over Dell’s gut like a ferret, and he buries his face in the older man’s neck, breathing in his musk like he’s been craving for years. He moans right against his ear, grinding his hips forwards against the older man’s belly.
Arms wrapped tight around Dell’s neck, he basically humps against the older man’s gut, moaning out loud when he feels his big hands grip his hips. He curses again, imagining Dell holding him down with those hands until he bruises, fucking him into the couch-
“Lemme blow you,” he gasps desperately. “Please, I wanna suck you off. I wanna taste ya... please, fuck, I’ve wanted it for so freakin’ long.”
“What?” He asks, more out of reflex than anything. When Jim gives an impatient sort of noise, Dell nods quickly in response, but he’s still processing those last words. Jim’s wanted him for a long time? In all their time together, he’d never picked up on any of those vibes, but then again he’d hidden his own desires for Jim fairly well, so maybe it shouldn’t come as such a surprise.
His own cock is straining at the denim of his jeans, uncomfortable in its constraints just below his belt buckle. Watching Jim sink to his knees makes the hairs on his arms and neck stand on end. He’s so excited he feels like he’ll explode if he doesn’t get relief soon. This is the moment he’s been waiting for for years, and he can hardly believe it’s happening.
Jim tugs open Dell’s belt and jerks his zipper open, and grips the band of his boxers, but stops himself before he tugs it down. He looks up at Dell, soaking in the sight of him, leaned back leisurely on the cushions, face flushed, staring down at Jim like he’s something seraphic.
He licks his dry lips and swallows hard. This is really happening, he’s finally about to blow Dell, after years of pining for him, after ages lusting for him and posturing for him, an eternity of wet shorts and chapped dicks from jerking off too many times - it’s happening. He’s going to suck off Dell- and Dell has wanted it just as badly as he has.
“Uh...” he clears his throat, flushing darker, and he has to look away from Dell’s jewel blue eyes. “Do ya think you could... uhh... c- call yourself daddy again? I uhh... kinda like that.”
Dell cocks his head and cards his fingers through the short hair on Jim’s head. Though there is still guilt burning behind his desire, he’s never wanted anything more in his entire life, and he can tell by looking at Jim that he’s feeling the same things. Wanting the same things.
All of this time yearning in silence and they’ve completely misjudged one another. Dell had thought nothing good could have come of all this, but maybe they’ve got a chance together.
Perhaps he’s getting ahead of himself. A whirl of worry is forcibly pushed aside as the older man turns his attention back to the moment at hand.
“Alright . . . Daddy needs you something fierce, Jimbo.” The words feel awkward in his mouth, but the shiver that they send down Jim’s spine bolsters his confidence in them.
“Fuck,” Jim breathes. He’d thought it might sound stupid in real life, spoken out loud, But instead all he gets is a powerful rush of heat down his body. He moans and tugs down Dell’s boxers and-
Dell’s face goes red at the exclamation, but Jim doesn’t even notice. His gaze is totally fixed on Dell’s cock. Wide as his own wrist, thicker than any prick he’s ever even seen online or in porn, a little on the shorter side but so girthy he suddenly doubts his own ability to get it in his mouth. Jim is totally enraptured by the sight of it, and he takes hold of it to feel its weight and heat in his palm.
Moaning again, he delicately tugs his fingers along the length, spitting on the wide mushroom head so he can wet the shaft. He can barely produce any saliva, his mouth has gone so dry, and he moves the skin of Dell’s cock with his pulling hand.
“Fuck, you’re so huge,” he breathes, looking back up at Dell’s face at last once the sight is burned into his mind forever, in case this never happens again. He works up the nerve to finally say out loud what he wants to, and even so his words feel clumsy. “Daddy’s got the biggest cock I’ve ever seen.”
Jim’s voice sends hot shivers up the length of Dell’s spine, and he shudders with the feeling, moaning aloud. He’s absolutely dumbstruck and tongue tied. Sinking a little lower on the couch, he drapes an arm across his tummy and squeezes his eyes shut. Still self-reproachful, he’s too embarrassed to keep his gaze on Jim for long.
When Jim touches him, he feels like he’s been bathed in fire. His cock gives a lazy twitch up into those gentle fingertips and he whimpers softly. Now is not the time to freeze up. All of those times fantasizing about this day and now he feels like his voice has failed him. Opening his eyes a crack, he looks down and half expects Jim to be gone, as if this has all been just another perverse fantasy of his.
But Jim isn’t gone. He’s sitting back on his knees with Dell’s cock in his hands, looking up at him with eyes filled with the unmistakable fire of lust. Dell is so embarrassed that he’s stuck in place, unable to move. He can see that Jim’s expecting something from him, and so he squeezes his eyes shut once more, thinking it’ll be easier to say something, anything, if he’s not meeting Jim’s gaze.
“Why don’t you give it a little taste? Daddy would like that.”
Jim moans involuntarily. A flash of heat charges up his back and down his legs, his pelvic floor clenching with need. It sounds less forced and more natural the second time, and he pushes aside his embarrassment and uncertainty. He’s fellated his own dildos dozens of times, he’s sure he’ll know what to do.
He seals his mouth - with a measure of difficulty - over the head and groans at the salt heat on his tongue. Clenching the rest of the length in his fist, he strokes his tongue along the length and sucks the tip, stretching his jaw over the impressive girth.
Moaning again, he realizes how far Dell’s cock would stretch him if he were to ride him, and he shoves a hand down between his thighs to grind against as a shock of lust settles in his cock at the thought. He’s had his fair share of toys in his ass and fingered himself for hours, but this would be entirely different.
Lost in his thoughts, grinding his hips against his palm, he’s unaware of just how quickly he’s started to bob his head. The stretch and burn of his jaw is satisfying and arousing, and he takes a fraction of Dell’s cock deeper into his mouth with every swallow down, until it’s brushing the back of his throat and he’s gagging on it.
Dell’s body shifts down as he relaxes into the melting heat of Jim’s mouth, a heat which dulls his doubts and makes his skin tingle. A white knuckled fist grips the armrest, his eyes flutter closed and his head falls back against the couch.
“That’s a good boy,” He praises, voice a velvet drawl. “You make Daddy feel so good.”
He drifted in the pleasure of Jim’s mouth, his hips moving of their own accord. Opening his eyes once more, he just watches as Jim’s mouth takes every inch of him, and when their gaze meet it’s like electricity is coursing all along his body, from head to toe. This moment is like a dream made real, and he hardly has the capacity to wonder over the odds that they two would have harbored feelings for one another for so long.
It’s improbable, yet here they are.
Dell works with the tip of one boot to pry the other off, and carefully he slides his foot along Jim’s thigh until he can press against Jim’s package. When his decision is reciprocated with a soft moan, he wiggles his toes and presses more firmly, his socked toes searching for the best way to touch him.
Jim chokes out a curse, muffled against Dell’s skin. A fire is lit under his skin, roaring through his whole body, burning him up alive inside. He moans and ruts against Dell’s foot, freeing up his other hand to grope over Dell’s beer gut and up to his chest, where he gives one pectoral a satisfying squeeze.
If there’s one thing Jim could not have known, but Dell is delighted of, is that he likes his tummy touched. For him, it’s as much an erogenous zone as anywhere else on his body. When Jim’s hands linger there a while to appraise the globe, his skin heats up like it’s summertime and excited gooseflesh rises on his arms and legs.
Dimly, Jimwishes he had longer hair. He’d love to feel Dell’s fist in his hair, forcing him down over his cock - he never fully realized how much he liked gagging on dick until now - he wants to be choked with it. He whimpers through his nose, grateful for that “big mouth” he’s been berated and teased for all his life.
His buck teeth scrape the hot skin of Dell’s prick with every pass of his mouth, and he humps against the arch of Dell’s foot without shame, fondling both his chest and his balls with both hands. He’s never been so turned on his life, already close to release, which a few months ago wouldn’t have surprised him, but he trained himself out of his quickdraw nature with his porn career - or at least, he thought he did.
He looks up at Dell with wide, steely blue watery eyes, his face flushed and his lips red and shiny as he gulps at his “Daddy’s” cock. It’s too good, too much, too quickly, he pulls off and tugs Dell’s cock with his hand so he can rest his flushed forehead against his thigh.
“Fuck,” he whimpers, high in his nose. “Dell, I- nnh- D-Daddy, I’m gonna come if you keep doin’ that...”
Dell takes his foot away from the younger man’s package and leans forward, taking Jimbo’s chin in his hand. With a gentle smile he replies, “I’m sorry darlin’.” And he presses his lips to Jim’s, trailing his fingertips over his cheeks softly. When he sits back away from the kiss, he lets out a husky sigh and leans back against the couch. “I won’t interfere with ya no more.” He beckons Jim back, resting his hands on his thighs.
Dell is getting close. The cooler air has eased back the building pressure in his cock, but when Jim’s mouth closes around his cock again, all of his excitement boils to the surface once again and he’s grinding his hips into the couch, feeling barely a breath away from release. The gentle impression of those teeth on Dell’s cock will be just the thing to tip him over the edge.
As he nears his climax, his breath hitches and face reddened he starts to murmur soft praises to Jim. An unconscious stream of whispered nothings as his heart rate races, which swiftly turns to his name uttered from parched lips. All his pleasure coalesces into a final burst of energy; he cannot stop his hips from inching forward, and he hears Jim gag on his cock. It’s a sound that should turn his stomach, but he’s too blissed out to mind it too much. And of course, he suspects Jim’s enjoying it too.
When he tastes Dell’s release on his tongue, Jim’s eyes roll back in his head. It’s not that semen is the best taste in the world, but the fact that he successfully not only sucked a dick - which has been a fantasy of his for years - but he sucked Dell’s dick and got him off, and the proof is right on his tongue, has him thrumming with proud energy.
He sucks for a few more seconds, adamantly suctioning every last drop out of the older man that he can get until Dell is shoving him away with an oversensitive moan. He looks up at Dell, the picture of hot and bothered, flushed and panting and sweating and trembling, he can’t help but feel like he’s the most talented dick-sucker in the world.
A hot throb between his thighs reminds him of his own urgent need, and he bites his lower lip, looking over the older man with a flash of lust. God, he is beautiful. Jim wonders if he’s known Dell for so long that his type has shifted to match - he’s always preferred older men, bigger men, mature men - or if his type was always destined to be bears, and this is just some kind of beautiful serendipity.
“Here, can I just...” he doesn’t actually finish his sentence as he climbs up into Dell’s lap, straddling his hips. He grips the collar of his flannel and dives in for a heated kiss, grinding his hips forward so his trapped cock rubs against his belly. His gut is so solid and yet so warm, the perfect surface for him to rut against. He breaks the kiss whining and presses his face into Dell’s neck, holding onto his collar like a pair of reins as he grinds against his belly.
Dell devours his mouth hungrily. His body is still hot from his climax, but their combined body heat makes him sweat more . Thick fingers trail the length of Jim’s sides as he revels in that slender frame pressed tightly against him. Jim’s neck is left open for a barrage of kisses as he lays his head back, and Dell takes the chance to pepper him with love, his blonde beard tickling Jim’s skin.
The smell of Jim’s body is intoxicating. If he weren’t spent, Dell would lie him back on the couch and fuck him until he’d had his release. As his thoughts spin, an idea strikes him and he moans to Jim, “Sit back.” When he complies, Dell fights with the zipper of his trousers and relieves his cock of its entrapment. Yanking up his own shirt, he eases Jim back against him and sighs as he feels the bare flesh of his dick slide along his tummy.
Their mouths mingle once more. They breathe into each others mouths, sighing, kissing, and moaning shamelessly as they rut together. “Come for Daddy.” Dell encourages him through a kiss, breathing hot onto his neck. “Come on.”
As if those words wouldn’t be enough to do Jim in, the feeling of Dell’s hands gripping his hips is the end for him. The strength in those hands, imagining how easily they could pin him down and fuck him in place, that’s what ruins Jim. He wails into Dell’s neck, humping against his belly as he jets come over the firm globe, gripping his shirt so hard he’s almost choking him with it.
He sags breathlessly against Dell’s body, slumping over his belly and chest and nuzzling into his neck with a content, soft sound. He feels dizzy in the best way, satisfied and comfortable and warm. Sitting back, hazy like he’s in a daydream, he looks Dell over.
This actually happened. After years of pining, this has actually happened. He’s sitting in Dell’s lap, Dell’s hands are on his hips, they just got off on each other, and it wasn’t a fantasy or a dream. It was real. He bites his lip with a sudden, shy smile and rests his forehead against Dell’s.
“Heh... that didn’t feel weird to me... what did you think?”
“At first I wasn’t so sure.” Dell admits, rubbing languid circles into Jim’s hips with his thumbs. He smiles slowly, considering Jim’s face for several moments. He looks so handsome like this. Flushed and happy, the very picture of pleased. The older man lifts a hand to thumb his chin. “But then it felt good. Unreal, but good.”
He wraps his arms around Jim, paying little mind to the mess they’ve made of his tummy. They’re both going to have to shower anyways. Dell wonders if they should do that together too, and although he doesn’t mention it, his cheeks darken at the thought of washing Jim down and kissing him under the hot water.
“So should we do it?” Dell asks, burying his face against Jim’s neck. He peppers the skin there with lazy kisses and little love bites. What would they do, though? Didn’t pornos usually have a plot, or was he just old fashioned in that regard? At the thought of the camera recording him, Dell’s toes curl a little. Maybe when the time comes he’ll forget it’s on.
“Totally!” Jim wiggles in Dell’s arms, biting his lower lip at the thought of being fucked on camera by the older man. “We can charge extra that way, and people’ll totally pay for it. Charge five bucks extra, shit we could make a killing. ‘Specially if you were willing to do the stuff people like - like gag me on your cock, spank me, fuck,” he crushes his forehead against Dell’s shoulder at the thought.
“But first, I just gotta...” he sits back and looks at Dell, soaking in the sight of him. Blond and flushed and lovely, looking both paternal and angelic, smiling in contentment. He leans forward and really pays attention, catalogs every sensation as he tilts his head and presses their mouths together.
The way Dell’s mustache tickles his lips, the softness of them, his tongue and his breath, his hands on his hips. Dell’s mouth is hot on his, his hands wide and firm and grasping. He can feel Dell’s wide chest expanding beneath him as he breathes, and he runs his hands over Dell’s short hair as he deepens the kiss - but not too deep. He kisses him slowly, effortlessly, sweetly, his kisses hold no questing for more, only a gentle shared connection.
He finally breaks the kiss, breathing harder, and rests his forehead against Dell’s, closing his eyes with a giddy little smile, and he can’t help but giggle breathily. “Hey, can this like... be a thing?” he ventures cautiously. He’s terrified of rejection, but he has to ask, now or never. “Like... you and me. A thing, ya know? Like, legit.”
Dell looks at him for a long moment, still breathy from the kiss. They could be together? What would Jim’s mother say? What would their neighbors think? Dell isn’t one to keep wraps on a relationship. He’s never been that good at hiding his feelings, in fact he’s surprised he’d hidden his love for Jim for as long as he had. He can tell Jim’s getting nervous in the silence. Maybe this could work. They’d never know if they didn’t try.
“Let’s give it a chance. If it don’t work out, I’m not going to kick ya outta the house.” Dell chuckles and pulls Jim back into a warm hug, wrapping his arms around him tightly and nestling his nose right up against his neck. They’ve hugged before, but now it feels different. It feels right. All of those odd emotions that had been flying around between them for years have settled somewhere, and the openness in their relationship feels new, alive.
“But we should clean ourselves up before we do anything else.” Says Dell, giving Jim a peck on the cheek before his hands drop to his hips. “You’re going to have to teach me about this porn stuff. I ain’t got the first clue of what I’m going to have to do. And if I’m honest, I’m a little nervous about having a camera on me, especially when I’d be in such a vulnerable position.”
Jim gives a shit eating grin. “Well if position is what you’re worried about, I could always ride ya.”