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Love, Lost, Mistakes, Redemption, and Absolution

Chapter Text

She looks at the clock on the bedside table, 6:30 am. "Mmmmm!" she groans, stretching for her partner. She wraps her hand around her, and plants a warm kiss on her upper back. The sleeping figure stirs ever so slightly. The light of the rising sun penetrates their bedroom just enough so Cosima can see her lover’s face. Delphine lies peacefully. She climbs out of bed carefully as to not awaken her.

An hour later Cosima is ready for work. She walks over, and kisses the still sleeping figure good bye.


"Hey Josh, how's it going?" she waves to the security officer in the lobby.

"Good Morning Dr. Niehaus," the man responds.

"How many times do I have to tell you, it's Cosima," she turns her head and smiles toward the broad shouldered man sitting behind the desk.

"Sorry...Cosima," he says a bit awkwardly.

"Wait, hold the elevator." She hurries toward the closing doors. "Thank you. Fifth floor please," she says to the young man standing closest to the panel.

The ding of the elevator doors opening to her floor pulls her attention away from her phone. She turns the corner and down the hallway that leads to her office area.

"Good morning Melody, any messages?" She asks her receptionist.

"Hi Cosima, you have a few messages." Eyes as green and vast as the Irish country side look up at her from behind the mahogany desk. "I wrote them down and they're already on your desk, along with your coffee," she says with a barely detectable Northwest European accent.

"Thank you," Cosima responds with a kind smile and makes her way to her office.

Cosima is at her desk answering emails when the message box from Melody pops on the corner of her screen: Reminder: 10:30am appointment with Dr. Lavoisier. She looks at her watch 10:03.

"Crap!" she scrambles to grab her purse and coat.


A couple hours later she walks back in to her office. "Melody, I'm gonna go down to the lab to get some work done; hold my messages." She hands the woman her purse and coat to place in her office and promptly disappears down the hall.

Hey babe, I miss you. How's your day going?
Well, mine is going great. I just came from the doctor’s; you should know they tortured me. I didn’t cry when they drew my blood. I can’t wait to get home so I can get rewarded ;)

“Hey Rashid,” she greets the intern hunched over the microscope.

“Hi Cosima,” he responds. The heart-shaped face grins at her as if he had the secret of the universe hidden between his gums.

A curious smile spreads slowly across her face. “What?” she asks.

“Subject D’s symptoms have subsided!” the words spew out of his mouth.

“Holy Crap that’s amazing!” she rushes over to take a closer look at the results. She stares at the computer screen in disbelief. “Dude, we have lift-off!” she says to tech sitting next to her. They both exchange thousand watt smiles, basking in their small victory.

Both scientists soon fall into their habitual symbiotic pace. It isn’t until Cosima’s stomach growls do their trance lift. Cosima looks at her watch. “I'll see you tomorrow Rash.” She saves the work she was doing and makes her way down the hall toward the elevators.

She takes her phone out to check her messages. Delphine still hadn't responded to her texts. She decides to call. No answer.

"Did Delphine call?" she asks her receptionist.

"No," the freckled face woman replies. She notices the worry in her boss' eyes. "Would you like me to call her?" she asks.

"No. That's ok.” Cosima heads into her office with the young woman in tow. A paper file is sitting on her desk. "Who are these from?" She turns around to look at her assistant.

"The results from Dr. Edmond's research, he wants you to take a look at them," she answers.

Cosima grabs the file and puts it in her brief case. "Ok. I’m gonna head home, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

The young woman nods and disappears out of the office.


"Delphine?" Cosima calls to her wife as she steps into the apartment. "Babe, are you home?" She goes into their bedroom, to her surprise, Delphine is still asleep. She walks over to her wife's side of the bed and turns on the reading lamp. She gently shakes her. "Delphine...Delphine,” she says; her voice is barely above a whisper.

The curly haired blonde turns onto her back, still with eyes closed. "Humm?" she hums.

"Baby what's wrong? Delphine wake up." She shakes her again.

 Delphine opens her eyes, but quickly casts her face away from the bright light coming from the reading lamp; causing a mass of blonde curls to cover half of her face.

"Hey," Cosima coos. "Babe, what's wrong? You've slept the whole day," she says as she sweeps some of the hair away from her wife's face.

Delphine sits up still groggy and rakes a hand through her hair. "What time is it?" she asks.

"Seven thirty-two," Cosima says, her gaze never leaving her wife. She takes a sit on the edge of the bed. "Babe, what is it?" Her eyes scan her wife for any signs of malaise.

Delphine shakes her head. "Nothing," she assures. She takes notice of Cosima’s searching eyes. "Mon amour, nothing's wrong. It's just residual fatigue from the long hours I’ve been working. You know we need to get ready for the merger. It caught up with me today; that's all." She reaches for Cosima's hand and pulls her closer.

Cosima lets out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding in.

"Hey," Delphine says stroking her wife’s hands with her thumb. "I'm fine.” She regards her wife lovingly.

"I know," Cosima says. “It's just..." She sighs.

"I know. Je suis désolée." Delphine takes her wife's hand to her lips and gently kisses the soft palm.

Cosima leans into Delphine for a kiss. The hunger of the it takes both lovers by surprise. 

"I missed you today," Cosima whispers to her.

Delphine pulls her in closer for a deeper kiss.

Cosima's hand glides over her wife's soft skin. She elevates herself completely onto the bed now, almost kneeling in front of Delphine. She clasps both hands around Delphine’s neck and drinks her in for a moment. Slowly she takes her lips between hers. The blonde woman lets out a soft moan. Delphine grabs Cosima’s shirt, intent on taking it off, but Cosima catch her hands, and hold them above her against the headboard. She straddles atop of her. Delphine’s eyes grow dark, filled with want and beg. The light bounces off of her blond curls forming a halo around her. She bites her lips. At that, Cosima falls apart, and so begins an ardent osculation session.

Cosima is about to take her wife’s top off, when...ggrrr, the rumbling sound emits from her stomach.

“Cosima,” Delphine says, coming up for air.

“No, No, No. Ignore that,” she whispers. She takes her lips between hers again. Cosima’s hands find Delphine’s bare breasts under the white tank top.

Again the sound emits.

Delphine lets out a chuckle. "Did you eat today?" she asks.

"I'm about to," Cosima says flirtatiously, unwilling to let the mood be ruined.

"Mmmm," Delphine moans, "but I need to take a shower first.” She kisses Cosima a final time before she slips out of bed.

"No!" Cosima whines with a mock-disappointment. "Haven’t I suffered enough today?" she pouts.

"The shower is big enough for two." The blonde leers, as she takes off her t-shirt, leaving her in only her underwear.

"Yay!" Cosima’s hazel eyes light up. She follows her wife happily into the bathroom.


“Chérie, the food’s going to get cold,” Delphine says between kisses.

Cosima was sitting on top of the counter when Delphine reached over her to get the dinner plates. She got a hold of the taller woman and wrapped her legs around her, and refused to let go.

“That’s why we have microwaves,” the dreadlock beauty says, wrapping her legs tighter around her lover. “I want to go for round two,” she smiles playfully.

“Well, you need to eat first. You wasted a lot of calories in that shower,” Delphine says coquettishly.

“Believe me, they weren’t wasted,” Cosima whispers against her lover’s lips.

Cosima’s stomach growls again.

Delphine throws her head back and laughs.

Cosima looks down at her stomach. “Buzz kill,” she chastises. She hops down the counter and follows Delphine into the living room.

They settle onto the couch with their food. Cosima reaches for the TV remote. “What do you wanna watch?” she inquires.

“I don’t want to watch anything. I want to talk,” Delphine says, placing the wine bottle on the coffee table.

Cosima turns to her. A few wet curls stole away, and were resting against her face. “Ok, what do you wanna talk about?” She sets the remote back down.

“Tell me about your day.” Delphine crosses one leg under her, her back resting against the armrest.

“Oh!” Cosima lights up instantly. “We had a break through. Remember subject D? I was telling you about him the other day, any way…”

Both of their phones vibrate simultaneously.

Delphine glances quickly at hers. “Oh, it’s the reminder for my Dr.’s appointment on Thursday,” she explains. “I synced my calendar with yours.”

“Cool. Are you ready?” Cosima beams with a different kind of excitement.

“Oui,” Delphine says, but her body language betrays her.

“Babe?” she says the excitement gone from her eyes, “are you having second thoughts?”

“Non, Non, Non,” she takes her head. “I’m just—how do you say, concerned about the timing. We have so much going on Cosima. I don’t know if we can handle it. You still need semi-annual tests to make sure you’re fine, plus you just launched a research project, and I have the merger, and you know I’m new at the company I need to make a good impression as the CEO and the timing is just so… and it’s a lot of new going on in our lives, and…”

“Babe, babe, breath!” she says, setting her hand on her wife's thigh. “Delphine, wh-why didn’t you tell me you were feeling this way?”

“I didn’t want you to think that I don’t want this. I do. It’s just…” She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “I’m scared Cosima," she admits.

Cosima sets her plate down and turns to her wife. “Ok, first, I’m fine. It’s been almost three years since my treatment…”

“Two and a half,” Delphine interrupts.

“Two and a half,” Cosima repeats, “…and I’m doing great.” She moves closer. “I know, it’s a lot to take on, but babe, I wouldn’t even bring this up if I didn’t think we could handle it.” Her eyes search her wife’s.

“I know,” Delphine says, breaking eye contact.

“And, if you’re worried about the tests, you’re going to be fine. You’ll ace them just like you do everything. You overachiever.” Cosima smirks.

A small smile finds its way onto Delphine’s face. “There’s no such thing,” she says.

Cosima rolls her eyes playfully.

Delphine’s face shines with wistful admiration.

The look makes Cosima’s heart skip a beat. “What?” she asks her wife.

“Je t’aime,” she says.

“Je t’aime aussi,” Cosima answers with an American accent.

She moves closer and hugs her wife. After a moment, Cosima breaks their embrace. Her face is resting only a few inches from Delphine’s. Her expression grows serious. “Please don’t ever hide how you’re feeling from me, ok?”

Delphine nods. “Ok.”

Cosima kisses her and sits back. She picks up her plate from the coffee table.

“You didn’t finish telling me your story,” Delphine reminds her.

“Oh yeah!” the excitement returns to her eyes.

They both sit criss-crossed on the sofa and talk.

FIN…for now