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The Right Way to Stick a Dick (A Smut How to Guide for the Struggling Author)

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1) Start with a kiss
     a) rough, lusty, passionate, impulsive, (leads to fucking -preferably rough)
     b) loving, slow, sensual, (leads to love making) extra points if you add cuddles

2) Deepen the kiss, add to it, cradle their head because they are precious
     a) french kissing, reach up to hold the persons face, slide/rake fingers into their hair

3) Move your arms around their waist and drag them closer, feel their body against yours
     a) explore the body in front of you, run your hands over their skin
     b) drag your nails lightly across their back (or not so lightly, leave a mark c:)

4) Move your kisses to their jawline, give each other time to catch a breath
     a) move onto their nape, suck love bites along the side, nibbling along th

5) Push them onto a nearby surface, preferably a bed, and fucking worship them
     a) move onto their clavicle, slowly make your way down to their nips

6) Spend some time worshipping their breast plate (you never know)
     a) nip, suckle, tweak, lick,

7) Slowly mark a trail of kisses, kitten licks, and teeth grazes down
     a) spread kisses, licks down/across their abdomen and down to their navel
     b) lightly teeth/nip their hip bones lightly and leave a trail of kisses and love bites further
     c) if there’s any other erogenous areas (sensitive spots) hit that shit up

8) Work your way down to their sex and make contact
     a) girl: clitoris
     b) boy: peen peen

9) Move farther down and focus attention on
     a) girl: labias, sex,womanhood? idk i haven’t done girls for a while
     b) boy: light rimming over the ‘bud’

10) Pull back and make eye contact
     a) optional: resume kissing while leaving one hand on their hip

11) Gain final consent, get into the position of your choosing and lightly begin prep
     a) lightly massage inside, slowly adding a finger at a time
     b) boys: DON’T FORGET THE FUCKING LUBE, jesus
     c) the majority of pleasure is received from Prostate/G-spot stimulation and relative tightness of the orifice
          i) for the first time it may be good to mention the strangeness of the sensation
     d) place light kisses on their navel/upper back to ease tension as you work them
     e) make contact with their A-ha spot, make ‘em see stars (extra points for an arched back and a grab at the headboard

12) Once prep is done pull back and light press your sexes together
     a) girls: clitoral stimulation is the major crowd pleaser so pull her in close and
     b) boy on girl: use a fucking condom, lightly press the head to her sex and enter SLOWLY
     c) boys: condom, then slowly run lube over the condom and again enter SLOWLY
          i) it doesn't matter how rough you like it no one wins when that shit rips

13) Once properly sheathed make sure to consult your partner once more
     a) ask how they’re feeling
          i) they can respond as: needy (whimper), bitchy (fucking get on with it), calm, loving, reassuring (good for insecure partners)
     b) remark: you feel so good, whisper sweet nothings, comfort

14) Once comfort has been established, slowly pull back and ease in again
     a) remain in contact with their body, slide your hands down their sides, feel their hips/ass

15) Repeat this motion, establishing and easy rhythm,
     a) shift a bit and lightly brush that inner spot, pulling a breathy gasp out of your partner

16) Upon insistence of your partner increase the undulation of your hips
     a) make sure to mention that spot, hit it on about every other thrust
     b) rough: you can take it from here, get those hips moving
     c) slow: repeat slow, calculated strokes that rub against all the right places

17) Pay mind to your partner’s pleasure, give them a hand as heated breaths intermix
     a) if they reach for their sex, remove their hand and replace it with your own
     b) stroke in time with your thrusts, bringing both parties closer to completion

18) As you get closer to the edge your rhythm may falter but voice it,
     a) bury your head in the crook of their neck, whisper their name & endearing comments
     i) how good they look, how you want to see them as they come

19) As you fall over the edge into that white hot release/oblivion
     a) feel your partner clench around you in their own release as their body tenses with it

20) (optional, if you want your characters to be awesome) Gather them close
     a) exchange pleasantries, god knows how long you’ve known each other
     b) snuggle up and fall asleep in eachother's arms, wake up and repeat process
     c) be a douche and treat them like it was a quick fuck, even if you know it's so much more


General Note: there are many ways you can connect sexually with another. The key is that the sexual encounter directly reflects the relationship that you want to relate to your readers. In other words, consult me when you want the sexy times to happen and I shall guide you in the ways of connecting with another both sexually and romantically. Also, no sexual position is explicitly stated here so explore what the world *cough,cough* internet *cough, cough* has to offer.

Dom/Sub: if the above is too soft for your taste also note that the largest component of Dom/Sub relationships, no matter how light, rely on the uttermost trust and a deep understanding of personal boundaries.

Dirty Talk: dirty talk is nice but we keep it classy up in here. Degradation of either party is not sexy, it’s off putting and it ruins the mood completely. Whisper heated complements into their skin, moan their name, make them feel special, distinct.


Wow, screw writing plot, I think I’m meant for PWP