Actions

Work Header

That's Not How you Flirt

Work Text:

Derek’s eye twitched.

The two idiots were at it again. Honestly of all places to play the penis game, they had to choose a public library, on a Saturday, the exact same day Derek decided to leave the relative safety of his house. It wasn’t like he didn’t already know the material, but reviews never hurt anyone. God, if his sister was here she’d slap him upside the head and make fun of his so called nerd tendencies. And she would probably join in the game as well.

“Penis” he heard again. Who were they kidding? Did they think they were being subtle? And just whispering it defeats the whole purpose of the game. They were also isolated so none of the other patrons heard them. Just Derek who had the misfortune of sitting close enough to them.

“Penis” came the whisper again. He shuts his book. “Penis” He turned around. And wow. He was slightly surprised at what he saw. Two lanky tall teenage boys both with brown hair and brown eyes met his eyes. Were they brothers? They also could not have been older than twenty. One in flannel, graphic tee, and jeans combo, the other in a lacrosse shirt. Who even plays that sport anyways? Besides, them being this old, or young depending on your opinion, just served to make the game more childish than it even was to begin with. Seriously. They acted as if they had never heard the word before.

“Penis” He glared at them, with the face Cora fondly dubbed his serial killer face. What did it take for them to realize they weren’t the only ones and that they weren't funny or cute. Well at least not the one in the lacrosse shirt. The guy in flannel though. Yeah. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. Focus. He heard a whisper, this time one that wasn’t penis.

“Hey um Stiles, we’re starting to attract looks. You think we should should stop?” one of them asked. The other who must have been Stiles shook his head.
“No I think we’re good, it’s just one dude Scott.”
“But his look is very intense though, he looks like he’s about to commit murder.”
“It’s a public place. If he has a problem he can come tell us directly.” With that Stiles directly looked Derek in the eye and smirked. If Derek wasn’t pissed before he sure was now. He upped his glare.

“Oh. Scary.” Stiles mocked. Derek decided to ignore him and go back to his work. He turned his back. There was peaceful silence for a couple minutes. Then he felt something hit the back of his head. He whipped around determined to figure out which asshole threw that at him. His bet was on Stiles. He made direct eye contact. Then Stiles with great articulation in his voice said, “Penis.”

Oh. That fucker was going down. Derek didn’t care if he fell into the trap or was sinking to his level. This was a direct challenge he was going to win. If only to wipe that self-satisfied grin off his face. Stiles arched an eyebrow at him like, well? He clenched his jaw. “Penis.” He gritted in a unwilling manner. Now Stiles now just looked a bit surprised, then he got a determined look.
“Penis.” he whispered. Derek rolled his eyes. Seriously? That’s all he has? He boredly repeated the word. So did Stiles. This went on a for a while with Scott starting to get more and more nervous. Derek decided that this has been going on for enough. He raised his voice. So did Stiles, but even so he still was barely above a whisper. Derek started to get annoyed. He had better things to do than to satisfy the whims of an immature kid. Especially one who does not seem to understand the rules of the game. Yes, it was definitely time to end this. He turned around again to go back to his work not caring to hear or see what Stiles had to say. That worked for about a minute. Then he gave in. He did the ultimate creepy thing. He listened into their conversation.

“Did you see that Scott! I won! That random dude totally lost! You see that! He was too chicken to continue!” Stiles was excitedly poking Scott. Derek clenched his jaw. If there was one thing he hated it was losing. And he technically won. He was the loudest and wasn’t caught. So take that. He was almost sure Stiles could tell that. He chanced a look. Yup. He totally knew judging by his smug smirk.
“He was too scared to go louder! He couldn’t best me! Ha ha! Nobody beats me!” Derek felt his jaw tick.
“I win you you lose!” Stiles started to do a ridiculous victory dance. That’s it. Derek’s gonna show him nobody beats him and then gets to do a victory dance. Especially not for a false win. He can’t figure out why Stiles has him so mad, but best show up him now. Even if it was just a dumb game. Oh so Stiles thought he couldn’t go any louder well just-

“PENIS” he yelled. There was silence. Oh. Now this is awkward.