“Miss Swan, while a small part of me appreciates your incisive need to constantly be around me – it gives me great pleasure to turn you away – most of me is ready to hurl a fireball straight into your chest. Please. Get out.”
Emma ‘s smile faltered, “Jesus, Regina. What’s gotten into you today?”
Regina sighed and threw up her hands, “Explain to me which part of ‘get out’ do you have trouble with? Is the ‘get’ or the ‘out’? I do not wish to speak to you. I do not wish to see your face. I just want you to strut your ass through that door, close it, and don’t return.”
Emma snorted and sat down in the Mayor’s chair and spun around like a child. “Nope. Not going to happen until you tell me what’s wrong.”
“What’s wrong is that I cannot turn around or there you are. Constantly. Every fucking time. In my office. At the grocery story. At my house. Wherever I am, there you are. Is my ass coated in honey? What could you possible want from me that justifies you being everywhere?”
Emma’s eyes widened before she squinted them as she looked at Regina, “I ran into you once at the grocery store, which was two weeks ago..”
“Your point?” Regina huffed. “And why are you in my chair? This is my office, get up.”
“Nope,” Emma said again, this time spinning around counter clock-wise. It wouldn’t do her much good to throw up on the mayor’s desk just because she liked twirling around so much.
“Last chance to leave voluntarily, Miss Swan,” Regina threatened as she took a step closer.
“Or what? You’re gonna punish me?”
Regina laughed as she flicked her wrist and Emma disappeared in a purple cloud of smoke. “No, I’m going to dump your ass straight into the river under the Toll Bridge,” Regina sighed satisfied as she sat down in her chair and closed her eyes. Emma Swan and her obsessive creeping around be damned. She wanted some peace and quiet and she was going to get it no matter what. If that required dumping Emma Swan into the river – so be it.
“That insolent, obsolete, absolute trollop of a human being,” Emma seethed through her teeth as she opened the loft’s front door.
Mary Margaret frowned as she looked at Emma, her eyes shifted to the window before settling on Emma again. “Emma? What happened to you?”
“Regina Mills,” Emma screamed as she stomped up the stairs and slammed the bathroom door shut behind her.
Mary Margaret rolled her eyes. Regina and Emma had been at it for weeks now. Regina would antagonize Emma until Emma was about ready to pull her gun on the woman and as soon as the roles would reverse Regina always ended up using magic to punish Emma for her antagonizing behavior. She was sick and tired of it.
It all started with Regina using her magic to play small tricks on Emma; switching the salt and sugar when they all had dinner at Granny’s, turning Emma’s hair an outrageous shade of pink at one of the town meetings when Regina noticed Emma preferred playing games on her phone, enchanting Emma so only animals noises came from her mouth every time she tried to speak, and – she chuckled softly – making Emma bounce up and down in the air when she couldn’t sit still while she waited for Henry to finish packing for his weekend at Emma’s.
Emma in return had less luck using her magic to play tricks on Regina and chose a more.. practical way of playing tricks; she had subscribed Regina’s work email to a daily My Little Pony newsletter, got drunk with Ruby and used an outrageous amount of toilet paper to decorate the mayor’s house, convinced Henry to wear a bald cap for a day and tell his mom that Emma giving him a haircut had gone wrong, and her last practical joke had the town reeking of fertilizer for days when Emma had ordered a truck load to be dumped in Regina’s front yard.
Mary Margaret sighed as she looked down at baby Neal, she tickled his tummy, “I swear to the gods, baby boy, the s-e-x-u-a-l tension between those two is going to drive me up the wall and not in a good way.”
“What was that,” Emma said as she let herself fall down on the couch.
“Nothing,” Mary Margaret murmured as she flipped open her magazine and started reading – desperately trying to cover up the light blush on her cheeks.
“Regina Mills is a bitch,” Emma breathed out.
“Emma Swan! Watch your language around your baby brother.”
Emma rolled her eyes, “Regina Mills is a b-i-t-c-h.”
“So you’ve said,” Mary Margaret sighed. “Don’t you think you two should try and have an adult conversation instead of all this impractical fighting the two of you are doing?”
“I didn’t start it,” Emma shouted. Her voice dropping immediately with once glance of her mother, “ I didn’t do anything to warrant being thrown in the river today.” Mary Margaret threw her one of those I-know-you-didn’t-just-say-that looks and Emma sighed. “Fine, maybe I refused to leave after she asked me to go away. But it was only because she implied that I was stalking her and I’m not.”
“I can’t keep up with you two,” Mary Margaret said as she flipped the page. “It’s like your best friends on Monday to Friday but as soon as the weekend arrives you two turn into bickering teenagers. You should go apologize for your behavior.”
“Seriously? She dumped me in the river! And I have to apologize? No way. Besides, she’s probably with Robin now,” Emma said with a snide voice.
Ah. There it was. The culprit of their problems. Jealousy.
“Robin is out with David this weekend, remember? They were going on a fishing trip.”
Emma snorted, “I forgot about that.”
“Your boyfriend is joining them,” Mary Margaret casually mentioned. In what world would Emma forget that?
“Right,” Emma murmured. “I knew that.”
“Yep, so you can go apologize.”
“I won’t. Regina has made it pretty clear that she doesn’t want to see me.”
“Give me your phone,” Mary Margaret said as she held out her hand.
“Listen to your mother.”
“Ugh,” Emma uttered as she handed over her phone and frowned as her mother’s slender fingers moved over the touchpad fast. “What did you do,” Emma asked when the phone was handed back to her.
It only took thirty seconds for Emma’s phone to vibrate.
“’Fine. My house. 15 minutes. Do not be late’,” Emma read. “What the hell, mom. What did you sent to her? She scrolled up and read, “’I wish to apologize for my behavior, can we meet?’ MOM!”
Mary Margaret glanced at the clock on the wall, “You hear d the mayor, don’t be late.”
Neither woman spoke as they sat across from each other in Regina’s living room. Emma felt herself get mad all over at the sight of the older woman and Regina had no intention whatsoever to apologize for Emma’s river excursion.
“So,” Emma drawled. “Fishing trip, huh?”
“I’m afraid I have no idea what you’re babbling about, Miss Swan,” Regina sighed. “I believe there was something you wished to say to me?”
“Right,” Emma murmured as she took a sudden interest in Regina’s carpet. “Wait. David, Hook and Robin are on a fishing trip, you don’t know about that?”
“I’m afraid I do not possess intel on the whereabouts of Storybrooke’s residents at all times, Miss Swan,” Regina said. “Why am I not surprised that you should think otherwise?”
“Well, Robin’s your boyfriend. You would think you would at least be aware of his whereabouts at all times,” Emma mocked.
“As it so happens to be, Robin and I broke up two weeks ago.”
“Do you need this information in writing?”
“No.” Emma frowned. Why wasn’t she aware of this? “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because, Miss Swan,” Regina sighed, “I had no use for your apologetic glances while you’re fawning over that boyfriend of yours.”
Emma laughed and held up her hand at Regina’s angry glare, “Sorry, but he’s not my boyfriend anymore. We broke up weeks ago, no one has just caught on yet. Hook asked me to spare his ego and I complied. It’s not like we’ve been overly affective in public as of late.”
Regina frowned and she wondered why she hadn’t caught on to that before. She was usually very perceptive when it came to Emma Swan. She visible relaxed at the news and slouched down on the couch a little bit. “Why?”
“Why did you break up with the pirate?”
Emma shrugged, “He’s not who I want to be with.”
Emma’s cheeks flushed – she hadn’t mean to say that. “I just mean, he was a nice distraction but we’re not really endgame material.”
“You know.. crazy, stupid love. The kind where you know you’ll end up with someone for the rest of your life and you don’t give a damn what people think of it. Love, or something,” she mumbled.
“Right,” Regina murmured. “Love.”
“Do you believe in love?”
Regina looked up at Emma, “My first love was brutally murdered by my own mother. My supposedly true love runs around town chasing after every woman in a short skirt. Love is a joke.”
Emma sat forward, “No, it’s not. Love is the thing that will get you through all those situations. Love .. love lifts you up where you .. Oh, wait. That’s a song lyrics. I don’t know. Love exists. I can feel it.”
“You can feel it?” Regina laughed. “Miss Swan, you’re being ridiculous.”
“For fuck’s sake, Regina. If you can call me ‘Emma’ on Monday through Friday, you can call me it on the weekends too. It’s my name after all.”
“Sorry,” Regina mumbled. “What do you mean? Monday through Friday?”
Emma shrugged, ‘’Mary Margaret says we’re good friends on Monday through Friday, but enemies on the weekend. I don’t even know what it means.”
“How would you like a glass of the best apple cider you’ve ever tasted, Emma?”
Emma rolled her eyes, “We’ve been there before. Are you going to poison me next?”
“Not quite what I had in mind.”
“Fine. One glass.”
“Oh my god. I don’t believe you,” Emma was doubled over in laughter. Her hand rested on Regina’s knee and she squeezed it when Regina confirmed her story.
“Get ready for the massacre?” Emma snorted. “That’s Robin’s catch phrase when he .. YOU KNOW?!”
Regina nodded, “It’s the most unsexy thing, let me tell you.”
Emma shook her head, “No, no, unsexy is when your boyfriend uses his wrong hand to cup your cheek.”
“Guess fingering was out of the question,” Regina blurted out.
“Oh my god!” Emma exclaimed. “We never.. you know. We didn’t.. No.”
Regina gasped, “You haven’t had sex with the pirate?”
Emma shook her head, “I’m afraid I’ve been deprived for quite some time and I’m utterly frustrated about it.” She looked at Regina, “I was so jealous of you and Robin. You two seemed so happy.”
Regina frowned at the sudden confession, “Jealous? Of us? I think I was jealous of Hook.”
Regina coughed to cover up the flush in her neck, “Well. You know. You two. It always seemed as if you two were having a lot of fun.”
Emma nodded, “We had fun. He’s a good friend, but not the kind of fun lovers could have.” She bumped Regina’s shoulder with her own and smiled.
Emma swallowed thickly, “Regina?”
“Do you .. maybe .. Do you..” Emma stammered. God, she was either drunk or stupid. Both, maybe. “Do you want to have some fun?” Regina licked her sudden dry lips and Emma was absolutely mesmerized by the action as her own tongue darted over her lower lip. She was so distracted by it that she saw Regina’s lips move but didn’t hear the actual words. She frowned, “What was that?”
“I said, ‘I once asked Jefferson how I could get the Savior to taste my forbidden fruit’.”
Emma swallowed thickly.
“I think he thought I was talking about the poisoned apple, but I-“ Regina’s legs slightly parted. “I don’t think I was.” She yelped when Emma straddled her lap in an instant.
“I would love a taste of the forbidden fruit, my Queen,” Emma whispered before pressing her mouth on Regina’s. Their kiss was one made of months of buildup resentment, jealousy, hunger and craving for one another.
Regina’s hand moved to the top of Emma’s head and gently pushed her down and off the couch onto her knees, her legs parted as Emma’s hands reached up beneath her skirt and removed her panties in a swift movement. She rested her head against the back of the couch when Emma licked her lips. “Have a taste, Miss Swan,” she murmured before biting her lip.