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A/N: This resulted from a few too many times watching the Rifftrax for New Moon (if you don't know what that is, my God in heaven GO TO YOUTUBE RIGHT NOW, then download your own copy). The "line" is from the commentary, and, well... there's a prompt if ever I've heard one. lilabut did a version too!

By the way, while the lines are movie!verse, the story is book!verse. Kinda.

We're playing more than a little fast and loose with characterization here (not to mention editing).




it's not much, but my money's on you
Dessa, Dixon's Girl


Jacob was fidgeting with his seatbelt as Bella drove down the highway, and she almost didn't hear his words over the sound of the tarp flapping in the truck bed. "If I told you I couldn't fix these bikes, what would you have said?"

Bella felt good today. The sun was kind of almost out, the bikes were finished, and Jacob's company always made her feel cheerful - or something close to it. "Are you doubting your mad skills?" she asked with a smirk.

He scoffed. "No. Definitely not. They'll run fine." Then he glanced down again. "But... maybe if I was smart I would have dragged out the rebuild a bit."

Oh. She frowned at the implication of his words: Jacob was wondering if she would still be sticking around now that she'd gotten what she needed from his mechanical know-how. That was definitely not going to happen, and it wouldn't have happened even in the beginning. She'd felt too good from the moment he'd run out of his garage with a big grin on his face to greet her. She'd have stayed regardless of whether the bikes had turned out to be nothing more than scrap metal.

"If you told me you couldn't fix these bikes, I would say that that's really too bad, but... guess we're just gonna have to find something else to do!" Jacob grinned at her words, and it made her smile too. Made her feel braver and kind of clever, so she added teasingly, "Casual sex was high on my list."

There was abrupt silence in the truck, and Bella realized what had just come out of her mouth.

Oh God.

She tried to backtrack. "So... it's a good thing you're such a skilled mechanic," she said with a weak laugh, focusing intently on the road in front of her. It's a joke, see? A really bad one, but still a joke!

Not looking didn't stop her from feeling Jacob's incredulous stare. "I... uh..." She heard him swallow loudly. "You know, I'm not really that good."

Her knuckles were turning white on the steering wheel. "So... you are doubting your mad skills?"

"Um... well..." The indecision in his voice was painfully obvious, and for a moment Bella thought she might get out of the whole mess - I mean, maybe he was intrigued, but nothing would make him denigrate his own capabilities as a mechanic, right? But apparently this could. "I just... well, you know, I did rush the job. And those hunks of junk you brought me... they could, like, explode or something. I don't think I really gave, uh, the gas tank the attention I should have. And stuff."

"Oh," she said in a tiny voice.

"So... yeah, if, uh, you wanted to take the bikes back to the garage, we could... um... work on them a little more. It wouldn't be safe to drive them if they're not in perfect condition. And... and I wouldn't want you to, you know, get hurt or anything." An awkward chuckle. "I mean, Charlie would kill me if you fell off and broke your arm."

"Yeah, he definitely would." Was it possible to die from a blush? It felt like there wasn't enough blood left to carry oxygen to her brain.

What a stupid conversation. Ridiculous. Absurd. And all from a dumb joke that seemed like a good idea at the time. This would teach her to be adventurous. She was never going to talk about anything with Jacob again except the weather. Oh, looks like it's going to rain today... again.Very very very safe things.

But the tiny little part of her brain that did still have oxygen was peaking with curiosity.

Jacob took a very audible shaky breath, then said lightly, "So, yeah, if you turn off up here, then we can-"

"If I had suggested something like that, what would you have said?"

A choked noise from the other side of the cab.

Such a bad idea.

"Is this a trick question? This feels like a trick question."

"No, no, it's not a trick question, I just..." She tried to backtrack again. "I'm, you know, wondering, sort of, I mean... Sorry. I'm sorry, Jake, you don't have to answer that-"


Her heart stopped, thus cutting off the final possibility of retaining any neurological function. In a moment she'd pass out and crash into a tree. "Yes what?"

"I would have said yes."

Yep, gonna drive off the pavement. "Really?"

"Of course I would have. I'm not an idiot, Bells."

Jacob had only recently started calling her Bells, something that had just... happened one day while she was passing him a socket wrench (or one of those) and then he didn't stop. Just like she'd started calling him Jake. Just like he'd taken her hand out of nowhere and it had been so easy, even though she'd shied away from physical contact for months. Intimacy seemed to simply increase between them, for no reason, with no warning. And afterward it was like they'd always been calling each other Jake and Bells.

She heard Jacob shift in his seat, and she wasn't naive enough to not know why.

She could inspire that kind of reaction in him by something as simple as a strange joke gone awry.

Riding bikes suddenly seemed like a less interesting distraction than... um... other things.

Or something.

It was probably a bad idea to say anything more. Scratch that - it was definitely a bad idea to say anything more. Saying anything more without following through would be possibly the meanest thing she'd ever done. And the last thing she wanted was to be mean to Jacob. She suspected she was already being so, but it wasn't too bad yet. He had a crush, sure, but she hadn't really been leading him on or anything while working on the bikes. She'd been friendly. That's all.

This... wasn't friendly.

Bella found herself doing a three point turn and heading back towards Jacob's house. She dared a glance in his direction - his eyes were almost popping out of his head. "If... you know, you're worried about the gas tanks... I guess we should do more work on them."

He shifted again, his expression somewhere between thrilled and terrified. "Yeah. Yeah, that's probably a good idea."

Probably not, actually.



As they stepped into the garage, Jacob didn't waste time pretending like he didn't know why they were there. But he was very hesitant; Bella felt his lips touch hers, soft and warm, but still. Just the slightest bit of pressure for a quarter of a second - the kind of kiss a family member might give.

Then he pulled back, uncertainly searching her face, checking to see if she was about to bolt.

Bella wasn't going to bolt. Well, probably. The jury was still kind of out on that one.

Okay. Well, then. Her first kiss with someone other than Ed- no. Not thinking of his name. This was definitely not a good time to think about him.

The world hadn't ended. That was good.

Jacob took a deep breath, like he was steeling himself to jump off a cliff or something, before tucking his long hair behind his ears and leaning in again. This time the kiss lasted longer, and his mouth moved very gently against hers. A little more pressure. Bella tentatively responded - following his lead even though he was much younger, which was another thing she didn't want to think about right now. She'd almost forgotten how to kiss. Hopefully she was doing it right...

...from the very small noise Jacob made, it seemed she was. Or he was too inexperienced to know otherwise. Maybe there were advantages to the age difference.

The kiss ended a little too soon for Bella's taste, and Jacob was checking her expression again, his brow furrowed. Then he wet his lips and said huskily, "Bells... you know, if you were teasing before, that's okay."


This wasn't going to just go wherever. Jacob was making her make a decision.

Bella hated making decisions.

Well... nothing to be done about it.

She cleared her throat. "I... well, yeah, I was teasing." Jacob's face fell, and she added quickly - and very quietly, "But I'm... I'm not teasing now."

Casual sex versus motorcycle riding.

Casual sex sounded more... well, interesting. Not to mention less likely to lead to broken bones.

And after all, she'd never been the one interested in protecting her virginity. She would happily have handed it over months ago. Marriage didn't mean much to her. "Virtue" didn't mean much to her. Bella didn't consider herself particularly feminist or anything, but this was the twenty-first century, and sex... well, the scary part was all in whether she'd be good enough. Attractive enough. Talented enough. Just... enough in general.

She was pretty sure Jacob would think she was enough.

Jacob looked... suspicious, quite frankly. "You're definitely not teasing?"

She nodded. And this time, she kissed him, closing her eyes.

He made that little noise again, and he brought his hands up to cup her face, angled his head slightly, and coaxed her lips open. For a moment she wondered exactly how girls he had done this with - she was ninety-nine percent certain he'd not done much more than kissing, Jacob simply radiated virgin-vibes - but then the kiss deepened and she was left focusing on how very, very good this felt. She had always suspected, of course, that kissing like thiswould feel good, but she'd never been allowed the opportunity. It sent jolts all over her body.

She felt herself getting wet. And over such a small thing as a kiss. That was... a little embarrassing.

Bella found that her hands didn't want to stay idle. They stroked along Jacob's sides - wow, he really had some muscles under that shirt, maybe there was something to the steroid possibility - then up to his shoulders, then into his silky hair. She twisted her fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck and he automatically kissed her harder.

She was pretty sure this was better than motorcycles.

Jacob's lips left hers - wait, what, huh? - but then they reappeared just behind below her earlobe, right at the curve of her jaw. Oh, that felt extra-good. She'd never been kissed there, either. Too close to her pulse.

She was getting warm. Entirely too warm. Wearing-too-many-clothes warm.

"Hey, Jake?"

He froze, but didn't pull away. "Yeah?"

This was definitely kind of slutty, but the combination of the wetness between her legs, her new-found taste for recklessness, and the fact that right now she felt better than she had in months and months stopped her from caring. Besides, this was Jacob. "Do you mind if I take my shirt off?"

Jacob did pull away at that, straightening up and looking down at her with wide eyes. It occurred to Bella for the first time that maybe she was pushing him. Oops. After all, there were no rules saying guys didn't value their "virtue" as well as girls. Just because she didn't put much stock in that sort of thing-

Then Jake glanced down and pinched himself hard on his forearm.

Bella frowned. "You okay?"

"Sure, sure," he said breathlessly. "Just checking something. Yeah, Bells, you can take off your shirt. Can I take off mine too?"

"Oh. Yeah, that's fine."

They removed their hands from one another long enough to pull their respective clothes - or at least the ones on top. Jacob was staring at the ceiling as he did, so Bella decided to look at the concrete floor. She hesitated for a moment, then unhooked her bra as well. It was only fair, after all. Jacob was going to be bare from the waist up. And, frankly, she didn't want there to be any confusion about where things were going. The kiss was the hardest. The kiss had been what she was most worried about being able to complete... and she had. So why settle for that when she could do so much more - when Jacob would let her do so much more?

It just felt so good to feel good again.

Jacob sucked in a breath when he looked down and saw that Bella had removed her bra - and was kinda cold, at that. She really only barely registered his reaction, because... wow. She'd never seen Jacob shirtless before. He... was... sort of beautiful. Maybe not even sort of. Just... wow.

She decided she didn't care if he was on steroids. Well, as long as there hadn't been any side effects lower down.

He was staring at her chest like he'd found the Holy Grail. She watched as he blinked a few times, fingers twitching. Maybe she should touch him first, and that would ease the awkwardness. She definitely wanted to touch him, to see if that warm skin and those hard muscles felt as good as they looked-

-but then Jacob got over his hesitancy and cupped her left breast with surprising firmness, squeezing experimentally.

Bella stopped breathing.

Oh, this was so much better than motorcycles.

A half-smile crossed Jacob's face when he noticed her reaction, and he squeezed again before rubbing along the skin, moving his calloused palm over her hardened nipple.

Even though she couldn't breathe, she still managed to squeak.

Jacob's smile widened. "Bella," he said, more than a little breathless himself, "this is the coolest thing I've ever done."

The feeling was mutual.

Bella really couldn't resist anymore. Maneuvering herself in a way that wouldn't move Jacob's hand from exactly where she wanted it to be, she came closer, very much in Jake's personal space - such as it was, at this point - and pressed a firm kiss to his chest. Slightly open-mouthed.

He groaned.


She tried it again in another spot, her hand coming up to squeeze his bicep at the same time. The combination of the noises he made, the feel of his muscles under her fingers, and the smell of his body triggered something very instinctual. An ache that spread through her whole abdomen. This was exactly what she wanted, what she'd been missing for months, maybe her entire life. Or, well, at least since she'd hit puberty. Why the hell had she put it off for so long?

"I'm sorry," Bella mumbled against Jacob's skin, feeling kind of high.

"For what?"

"I should never have brought the bikes here in the first place. I should have gone straight for the casual sex."

Jacob let out a choked laugh, stroking her bare back with his free hand. "Bells, did you hit your head at some point that I don't know about?"

"Don't think so." It was a little hard to talk between the feel of his hands on her skin and the feel of his chest under her lips. "I just... don't think I realized how much I needed this." Really, she felt like some kind of floodgate had opened. One little crack in the dam, and now everything was rushing forth.

"You need this?"

Bella nodded.

She felt herself being walked backward, the backs of her knees colliding with the bumper of the Rabbit, and then Jacob's body was pressing her against the cool metal of the hood. "You know I'd give you anything you want, right?" he said seriously, looking into her eyes. His expression was disconcertingly earnest. "I mean, if I can. If it's something I have to give and if you let me."

She blinked, stunned at Jacob's openness - and a little afraid of it. Afraid for him, anyway. He was so willing to hand over his heart without reservation or condition or apparently any worry that it might get crushed. But his hadn't been crushed before, so he didn't know the kind of risk he was taking by saying things like that. He hadn't learned yet how much he could come to regret not being more guarded.

Bella vowed then and there that she wouldn't be the one to teach him those lessons. She had absolutely no idea what the future would bring - she'd figured out that much over the last year - but no matter what happened, she wouldn't make him sorry that he trusted her like this.

"Yeah," she said. "Yeah, I know you would."

Jake grinned, warm and sunny, and lowered his mouth to her breast. She felt his tongue drag over her nipple, and she let out a way-too-loud cry - one that actually echoed off the tin walls.

What she could see of Jacob's face lit up like it was Christmas morning.

Somehow Bella's hands wound up fisted in Jacob's hair, the way she'd been secretly wanting to since she'd first seen it. Sure, maybe in the beginning it had been in a different context - she just wanted to touch it for purely impersonal aesthetic reasons - but, yeah, now it was turning her on. Not as much as what he was doing with his mouth, but it was definitely adding to the fire. The way the loose strands were tickling along her bare stomach wasn't hurting either.

Not that she had anything to compare it to, but it felt like Jacob was pretty good at this. At some point she'd really need to ask whether it was all instinct or if someone had told him some tricks. Quil and Embry, maybe. She doubted that they were particularly innocent.

"You are so hot, Bells," he murmured, kissing his way from one side of her chest to the other.

Huh. "Really?" she said, disbelieving. She'd been called a lot of things in the last year - compliments and endearments that she didn't want to remember right now - but 'hot' wasn't one of them. That was a word for other girls - blond ones or leggy ones or ones with lots of cleavage. Not her.

"Really." Jacob pulled away and leaned back on his knees, the car rocking a little with the weight shift. His eyes roved over her body appreciatively. Wait, not just appreciatively. Lustfully. Like he was seriously, genuinely turned on not just by their actions, but by the sight of her smallish breasts and totally unmuscled stomach and freakishly pale skin. "Very, very hot."

This could easily be chalked up to his lack of experience, but Bella flushed with pride anyway. And the pride added to her boldness. She wanted him to see more.

So she reached down and unbuttoned her jeans.

Jacob stared without blinking, apparently worried that if he closed his eyes for a split second this would all turn out to be a dream.

Before she pushed her pants off of her hips, Bella figured she'd better ask again. "Do you mind if I take them off?"

He nodded jerkily. "And, uh, it's... um, it's okay if I take mine off too?"

Bella thought about it for a moment - while this wasn't technically the point of no return, there was a certain agreement implicit in such actions as full nudity - then decided to go ahead. It was what she'd come back to the garage for. She'd been on the pill for two years - thank you, Renee - and the legal age of consent in the state of Washington was sixteen. This felt good, she felt good, and she wanted Jacob to feel good.

"Sure, sure," she said.

He had his shorts off in record time. Bella's jeans took a moment longer, since she had to kick off her shoes first, and he took the opportunity to pull his hair back into a proper ponytail. But then her naked butt was against the cold metal of the Rabbit and she was staring at Jacob and Jacob was staring at her.

Apparently he wasn't on steroids, because there was nothing wrong at all down there.

Jacob's gaze was focused between her parted legs. She was pretty sure she was wetly dripping onto the hood of the car. "Okay," he said hoarsely. "I change my mind. This is the coolest thing I've ever done."

The tone of his voice wiped away even the slightest feelings of worry about her appearance.

Well, it was her turn - personally, Bella felt the touching and caressing and what not had been entirely unequal. So she wasn't thrilled when Jacob pushed her hand away as she tried to reach for him. "What?"

"Um... that's not a good idea," he mumbled. She could have sworn he was blushing. "Kinda having enough trouble as it is."

"Oh." Apparently she'd have to make do with looking for right now. Aside from health class textbooks, she'd never seen... well... a guy. They were a lot more interesting in person than they'd looked on the page.

From the expression on Jacob's face, he must've been thinking the same thing about her. He wet his lips, then brushed the inside of her knee with his fingertips and nudged it gently to the side. She opened her legs wider in response.

Yep, he was definitely blushing.

It was kind of adorable.

Jake took a deep breath, then glanced away from her for a moment, focusing instead on the hood of the Rabbit itself. Some of the nervousness faded from his face as he did. When he looked back between her legs it was with more confidence, the air of someone faced with an interesting puzzle.

Bella was pretty sure she was about to be cared for like an engine.

Well, that made some sense. Jacob knew how to build cars. She pictured how he'd so carefully laid out each tiny piece of the motorcycles before reassembling them into a working whole. She tried to think of herself as a machine, with lots of little details that worked to achieve one purpose. The skills probably translated pretty well.

When rough fingers felt up the length of her thighs before running delicately along her wet folds, she was definitely sure the skills translated well.

"Wow," Jacob whispered as Bella whimpered. She bit her lip and shut her eyes, focusing entirely on the sensation. He started by brushing gently along the outside, checking for sensitivity - what kind of touches elicited what kind of reactions and where. When he spread her open and delved deeper, she pretty much gave up entirely on anything resembling self-control and started a steady stream of moans that she'd probably be embarrassed about later. Jake discovered almost instantly what worked and what didn't; she should have known those fingers that could put together the tiniest nuts and bolts would be able to figure her out the same way.

There was something to be said for a man who worked with his hands.

Bella flung her forearm over her face and tried to keep breathing. It was hard. Jacob had found all the appropriate places to touch and stroke and rub and caress, and was managing to hit most of those places at once. "That's... that's really good," she gasped out.

"Uh-huh." Apparently he wasn't capable of a more coherent response. But he sank his fingers further and she could hear slick, wet noises as he looked for new areas to explore. His touch was so gentle, and she knew he wasn't doing it to tease - at least not deliberately. He was just putting her together.

She came so hard she almost bit through her wrist.

When she came back down to earth - where she had gone, she didn't know, but it was definitely an out-of-body experience - Jacob was staring at her, chest heaving with every breath. His hand was still rubbing lightly. "So... so you-"

"Yeah," she assured him.

"Oh. Good." He seemed to be down to monosyllabic words. The visible tension in his body looked painful. Bella watched as he reached for himself and stroked a few times, letting out a guttural groan-

-was he going to-

"Wait," she burst out. "Stop, stop, wait a second."

Jacob gave her a look of pure disbelief. "Bells, I really-"

"Don't you want to do that with me?" A flutter of nervousness rose up inside. Had she done something wrong? Was there some reason he'd rather finish without her?

He blinked. Several strands of his hair had come loose from the rubber band. "Well, yeah, but... I thought since you'd already... you wouldn't want-"

"No, I do," she said quickly. "I really, really, really do. A lot." What he'd just done had felt amazing, but it hadn't really eased the ache deep inside that was begging for something more.

"Oh. Okay." That was all the prompting Jacob needed. He settled himself between her legs and leaned over her body, bracing his weight on his forearms. "Am I going to hurt you?"

"I don't think so." The first time she'd been to the gynecologist she'd cried out in pain during the exam and eaten Tylenol for two days. She was pretty sure that had been it. And Jacob's fingers had certainly gotten her ready for what was coming.

"That's good." Then he was kissing her again, surprisingly gently, considering that she could feel him lining himself up below and...

That felt wonderful.

Jacob gasped against her mouth as he slid deep - very deep - and Bella had no idea how to describe it except that she wanted him to do it again. She arched her back and tilted her hips to another angle and it gave him room push even further, her body taking him in entirely. The incredible fullness eased her ache perfectly.

He was trembling in her arms. "Bella- I can't-"

"That's fine," she said, combing her fingers through his ponytail. "Go ahead."

He made some wordless grateful noise, and then his hips were moving, hitting her thighs with each rapid stroke. She raised her legs to get them out of the way and wrapped them around his waist, and that seemed to be more than enough because he groaned against her throat and shuddered. She was sealed so tightly around him that she could feel him pulsing inside her body.

This was what she had needed this whole time.

Who knew?

"I change my mind again," Jacob mumbled against her collarbone. "This is the coolest thing I've ever done."

Bella found herself giggling. It felt like some huge burden had been lifted - though it had been replaced by the weight of Jake's body crushing her into the hood of the Rabbit. "Yeah, me too."

"I can't believe I spent all that time on those bikes when we could've just been doing this."

"Well, can we do both?"

"Sure, sure."




the end.