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Career Day

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§ My name is Kenneth McKormick, but everybody calls me Kenny. §

Today was Career Day at South Park High School. Excitement was in the air and everybody was talking animatedly. Kenny however remained silent and appeared to be deep in thoughts. He was surprised by the amount of students who were still unsure about their plans for the future. Token, Red, Clyde, Craig, Pip, … they didn't have a clue. "Maybe it's cos they don't give a rat's ass about their future; who knows …", the dirty blond thought bitterly.

§ I'm only fifteen years young but I already have plans for my future. I sure as hell don't wanna mess it up. §

"Hello, my name is Bebe Stevens, I'm fifteen going on sixteen and I want to become a professional matchmaker. If this doesn't work out, I still have a plan B: I'll try to become a make-up artist. As for my family, I want to have a splendid and majestic wedding at all cost. But frankly, no matter how adorable babies are, I don't want to have kids. I'm just not into that."

§ I want to become a cook, Chef really inspired me. §

"Hello, my name is Wendy Testaburger. I just turned sixteen a week ago and my dream is to join the UNO and help our world become a better place. Human rights have always been an important issue to me, it just feels right. I want to make a change. I also hope to have a few children of my own in a couple of years, but I'm actually opposed to marriage for several reasons …"

§ I don't want to make the same mistake my parents made, so I stay as far away from alcohol as humanly possible. §

"Hello my name is Kyle Broflovski. I'll turn sixteen next month. My plan is to become an accountant. I know this sounds boring and it probably is, but I'm really into maths and it's usually a well-paid job. I don't think that your job should be the centre of your life. I'm already engaged and we are planning to get married soon after our graduation, but we most definitely want to wait with kids. Now that I come to think about it, we don't have any idea or plan concerning that topic yet …"

§ If I'm gonna have children, I only want to have one or two, not more. I always wanted a rather small family. §

"Hello, my name is Stanley Marsh and I'm fifteen years old. It's my dream to become a professional football player. I'm aware that this will be hard to achieve but I'm completely determined. It's a childhood dream after all, I don't wanna give it up. I love football since, like, forever. Oh, and I want to change Wendy's opinion about marriage."

§ But I have a problem … §

"Hello, my name is Eric Cartman and I just turned sixteen. If any of you retards laugh at what I'm about to say, I swear you'll regret it. I wanna go into psychological research. I find it interesting to discover new ways and methods to fuck with people's minds and manipulate them, hehe. As my dear Kahl pointed out earlier we are gonna get married and have a bunch of ginger kids."

§ I'm hopelessly in love. It's already been three years since I first realised my feelings. At first it was just admiration, then it turned into pure lust. Afterwards it developed into a major crush and about a year ago it became that thick, heavy, warm, ever-present feeling in my chest known as love. They hardly ever acknowledge my presence. I know they don't ignore me on purpose; they are far to kind to do such a thing. I would do anything for them, anything to make them happy. §

"Hello, my name is Leopold Stotch and I'm fifteen. I guess I'll become a professional dancer. A tap dancer probably, cos that's what I'm best at. But that's not my actual goal. My dream is to become a homemaker. I want to take care of a household. I've always dreamt of a home sweet home and getting married. But most importantly I want to have a big family and therefore a lot of kids. I love children, I always have; to have some of my own would be a dream come true."

§ Hello, my name is Kenny McKormick, I'm fifteen and I want to become a cook. But I guess I'll have to change my family plans because I can't imagine being with anyone else but Butters. §