He’s too sober for this. He’s so, way too sober for this, and there’s not even a way he can get drunk. He almost considers running out and drinking a liquor store to see if that could overcome his metabolism. He also regrets convincing everyone else to do shots, even if they only did a few— He’s fine, and Superboy is fine (he’s probably like, tipsy, but Wally can’t really tell since he only looks slightly less angry than normal), but everyone else is so hammered that he’s stuck playing babysitter.
That’s basically what it is. M’gann has told everyone she loves them like four times each, and tried to kiss most of the team like twice, Artemis and Zatanna had to be dissuaded from body shots (“Think of the children!” Wally had said, gesturing to Robin. That had earned him a kick in the shin and a “I’m almost sixteen, asshole,” from the Boy Wonder, but it was worth it, and it worked), Kaldur had attempted to balance a beer bottle on his head (Okay, that was funny), and Dick—
“I’m not going to drink, it’s fine. Have fun, I’ll stay sober.”
“Whaaaat? Staying sober? When you have the ability to get drunk? Rob, no offense, but what the hell.”
“That offends me, as someone who can’t be getting drunk. I’m trying to live vicariously through you. Don’t take this away from me.”
“And I’ve never even seen you drunk before! Just like a few shots, and I promise I’ll leave you alone.”
And now, Robin is so drunk he’s sitting on the couch next to Wally just giggling. He has a surprising amount of coordination for someone who’d said to his face just ten minutes ago. “I’m not a kid. I could do body shots if I wanted. What if I want to do body shots?”
“I’m telling you you said this when you’re sober,” had been Wally’s reply, and Dick grinned like a kid in a candy store.
“Good. I do wanna do body shots. Tell me whatever you want, I’m not lying. I could do body shots.”
“Okay, Rob,” Wally had agreed, and had steered him to the couch and sat him down before grabbing a glass of water and handing it to Dick. “Drink this, we’ll talk bodyshots tomorrow.”
He’d heard some distinct complaining about the lack of alcohol in the water he’d been given, but Robin drank it anyway. Wally was all set to settle back and watch everyone behave, well, like a drunk— after all, that was the fun part about staying sober.
He has no idea whose idea it was to play spin the bottle. Artemis had asked for another drink (he’d decided he was giving people water until they sobered up enough to make their own drinks), and he’d left for maybe twenty seconds (he hadn’t even been going above normal human speed, for god’s sakes), and then when he gets back Artemis takes the cup out of his hands and Kaldur’s talking in his ear asking for an explanation and Robin’s tugging on his arms and everyone’s sitting in a circle and he kind of knows the answer to the question before he asks it.
“Wait— okay, what are we doing?”
“Spin the bottle!” says Zatanna cheerily, and then he’s sitting in the circle too. Connor, sitting directly across from him, shoots him an uneasy look. They both know they’re too sober for this.
“Listen, I’m gonna sit this one out—”
“Yeah, me too—”
The clamor of the team’s protests drown out Wally and Connor’s concerns, and there’s a couple moments of just noise before Robin yells “Shut up, shut up, shut up!”
Surprisingly, everyone does. Robin glares at everyone, which is less effective since he’d tried to rest his weight on his hand and had somehow missed the floor, but keeps everyone silent anyway.
“We’re playing spin the bottle,” he says, “Wally and Connor are playing, because otherwise there’s not enough people. It doesn’t have to be a long kiss, you two, stop being babies.”
Wally is about to point out how that makes no sense, and Superboy glowers at the circle. They have a silent conversation for a second wherein Wally thinks the conclusion is ‘leave in a few minutes and hope you don’t get spun on before then’, but he’s not sure, since it’s, y’know. Silent.
“Fine,” says Connor, and crosses his arms like this is the worst thing in the world.
“Good,” says Dick. He grabs an empty beer bottle off one of the side tables and slams it down. “I’m going first,” he declares, and sets the bottle spinning.
Wally doesn’t even take a moment to hope it’s not him before the bottle slows down and comes to a halt, neck of the bottle pointing at— just his freaking luck— himself. He glances up and Dick has the biggest grin on his face, like he’s just won the freaking lottery. Wally’s quick, sure, but god damn does Dick seem have speedster velocity as he crosses the circle to get to him.
Wally can’t even protest before Dick has his arms wrapped around Wally’s neck, and then he’s pulling Wally closer and Wally tastes jäger. Dick is practically draped on him and they’re kissing like the world will end if they don’t, and Dick’s hands are in his hair and Wally’s hands on on his waist—
And Dick is very, very drunk right now. Wally peels himself away, although Dick tries to follow him.
“Alright Rob, join the circle again.”
Dick pouts, and then laughs, and half stumbles back to his spot, shoving the bottle at Wally. Wally passes it to M’gaan, saying he’s going to get water.
( Don’t think about Dick’s hands on you, don’t think about his lips on yours, don’t think about how a second later there probably could’ve been tongue, just don’t think— )
Wally turns on the the tap, and tries to decide whether he wishes he were drunk or whether he wishes Dick were sober— he ends up wishing he was drunk, because sober Dick would never kiss him at all.
He decides to pour himself a glass of vodka instead.
When Dick says “Hey, KF. God, my head is killing me— what even happened last night? I can’t remember anything after the fourth drink— Thanks, by the way,” the next morning, Wally believes him.
“Nothing,” he replies, much too quickly, and he knows he’s blown it now and Dick will ask questions. Instead, Dick squints at him, and then shrugs.
Dick is a great liar, but Wally is a terrible one. Wally spends all day wondering if Dick had forgotten as much as he’d said, or whether he was just trying to make sure that Wally thought he’d forgotten.
He wants another glass of vodka.
They’re not sure how it happened, really. Wally was kind of loitering under the mistletoe (which had been his contribution to the Christmas decorating, even when Artemis had told him to take it down, and then hit his arm when he hadn’t), but it was more as a ‘bar access to the kitchen with a one kiss toll’ sort of thing. Not like he was trying to catch anyone.
But they’re good friends, the whole team, although not everyone’s close enough pass the one kiss toll (Artemis has done it twice, but the only reason he hasn’t kissed her is because when he tried, she tried to punch him).
So when Robin heads to the kitchen, talking to Connor over his shoulder, Wally puts a hand out and stops him in his tracks, pointing to the plant above him.
“Pay up, Rob.” He’s expecting to get punched, he really is. He’s expecting Dick to just punch him in the gut and walk past him, but he sees the dangerous look in his best friend’s eyes just a split second too late, because all of the sudden Dick has a handful of Wally’s shirt and has pulled him down to meet in a kiss. Wally’s eyes widen and his hands flail, and the spin the bottle game from last month is brought up in his mind’s eye, and he can’t help but think that this is so much better—
But Robin is gone just as quick, grabbing a glass from the cupboard and turning on the tap, talking as he fill up his glass.
“Want me to pay up when I leave too, or are you going to stop harassing the team into kissing you now?”
Wally squints at him as he drinks his glass of water, trying to think of something adequate to say in response. Instead, he thinks about Robin’s lips on his, thinks about Robin grabbing him by his shirt, and just stays silent, moving in to grab a glass of water himself.
The Team laughs, Robin laughs, Wally hides his face behind his glass of water and misses the odd, concerned, almost wistful look in Robin gives him because he’s looking at the ground.
“That didn’t bug you, right?” asks Robin later, while they’re watching some terrible TV show. “I mean, it was a joke, but if it bugged you I won’t— tell me if I crossed a line, or something.”
Wally’s a little stuck on the ‘I won’t—’ because he won’t what? Do it again? Does that mean he will if Wally’s okay with it? He thinks about kissing Dick again, wonders whether if he kissed Dick right now, would he still taste of gingerbread cookie. Instead of testing the theory, he laughs.
“Nah, bro, I’m totally good. It must’ve been pretty funny.”
“Yep,” says Dick, grinning at him, “You didn’t look very turbed, that’s for sure. I wish someone had filmed it.”
“Don’t be a dick, Rob.”
Dick kicks him in the shin, they fist bump, everything is fine. Wally wonders what would’ve happened had he kissed Robin back.
It’s actually his idea, God help him. Well, the game is. He suggests dumb party games over and over, because he’s bored and Robin keeps flipping channels and M’gann seems slightly interested because she’s only played once before, so here they are, sitting in a circle like middle-schoolers, playing Truth or Dare.
Everyone except for Robin, who was currently watching TV still (Kaldur had planned to, but Wally’s whining wore him down, so he’s sitting here too). He’d flipped Wally off when he’d stood in front of the TV, so Wally had given up.
It’s probably his fault, too. He sees the challenge in Artemis’ eyes, and still picks dare. Artemis is one of the few people he can read and have a silent conversation with (reaching the same conclusion, anyway), so when she grins and casts her eyes toward the couch, he vehemently protests. Silently.
Artemis sticks her tongue out at him, still grinning, and Wally makes another face.
Artemis gives a smug grin again. Come on, you want to.
Artemis rolls her eyes and makes some gestures, and he’s about to try to get across that being his ex-girlfriend doesn’t mean she knows anything more about him, when Kaldur clears his throat.
“You know some terrible pick-up lines, right Wally?” says Artemis.
Better than he thought, but he still doesn’t like it. He scowls, and nods, and she points, and he reluctantly gets up as M’gann asks what he’s doing and Artemis tells her to watch.
Wally leans over the back of the couch, watching the TV for a second before turning to face Robin.
“Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?”
Robin turns his head away from the TV, looking up at Wally with an expression that seems to say simply ‘why’, and Wally can feel the grin spread across his face— yeah, this is why you tell pick up lines. This, and actually picking up people, he supposes, but pick up lines don’t tend to work for that—
That sudden grin on Robin’s face is making him worried. He casts a glance over to the rest of the team.
“Let me guess: you picked dare?”
“No shit, Sherlo—” Wally’s retort is cut off when Dick surges forward and kisses him, before settling back down onto the couch and picking up the remote, channel surfing like nothing happened. Wally gapes at him. “Dude!”
“No dinosaurs. Don’t say things you don’t mean, KF.”
Dick is smirking, Goddamnit, and Wally can hear Artemis laughing at him and he’s pretty sure more than one person is suppressing laughter. Why does this keep happening to him? More importantly, why can’t he ignore it after the fact, and why does he feel like he wants to kiss Robin again, why—
“Are you going back to your game, or what?”
“Yep,” replies Wally, and joins the circle in an instant; anything to not think about Robin for a little longer, and he laughs with the team as they continue (Robin is the victim of three more dares, and Wally doesn’t feel sorry for him), making a great effort not to look at the Boy Wonder out of the corner of his eye.
“Hey, Rob?” he says later, when he’s tired, and Dick’s tired, and they’re sitting on the couch and Wally doesn’t mind Robin’s channel flipping.
Wally wants to ask about today, wants to say something, but he’s too afraid he’s reading everything all wrong, so his throat dries up and the words don’t make it to his mouth. Instead, he just says, “You’re an asshole of a best friend.”
“I’m your asshole of a best friend,” replies Dick instantly, and Wally grins, stretching his legs out and pushing Dick into the arm of the couch with his feet.
Dick laughs, and elbows Wally’s ankles, so Wally draws his legs up to his chest, rests his chin on his hand, and lets his mind wander.
With his eyes on the TV screen, he misses Dick’s eyes on him.
Honestly, Wally isn’t following Robin’s train of thought. They’re on a mission, although they’re dressed in civvies, and they’re partnered up, and personally, Robin’s idea of covert is ten times more intense than Wally’s. He may be a speedster, but he’s having trouble even following what Robin is saying— something about their faces being visible, he thinks, but all he’s doing is blinking while Robin gets more and more agitated (he’s speaking so quietly Wally can barely hear him, but he might as well be yelling), and suddenly Wally thinks of something that could hide their faces.
Common sense tells him to shut the fuck up that there’s a line, and he’s going to cross it, that this is the worst thing he could do right now, and what he should actually be doing is trying to help.
Instead, Wally makes a terrible impulse decision. He puts both his hands on Dick’s shoulders, and says, “Listen, just go with it, trust me.”
Dick casts another glance toward the street corner, and opens his mouth to respond, but Wally’s too quick. He leans in and catches the other in a kiss, hands shifting from his friend’s shoulders to his face. It’s probably only a split second, but Dick is totally motionless for what seems like forever before he catches onto Wally’s train of thought. Then his hands are interlocked at the back of Wally’s neck and he’s pulling him closer and Wally forgets this is so they don’t blow cover, forgets he’s supposed to be ignoring his feelings so they go away, and all he can think about is how Dick is pressed up against him like no space is still not close enough.
Dick had been about to talk and if Wally’s honest with himself, that’s kind of why he’d chosen now to kiss him. This isn’t just kissing, not like what they’d done before— Wally had pushed this into a full on make session in a back alley, and Dick was participating. Dick’s pulling like he can’t get close enough and Wally can tell he had cream soda a few hours ago. Wally wants to take his hands from Dick’s face and move them so they’re under Dick’s shirt, Dick swipes his tongue across Wally’s bottom lip and Wally feels himself go weak in the knees, Oh god—
It feels both like days and milliseconds before Dick pulls away, just far enough to speak.
“Wally,” he says, and had Wally been thinking straight, he would’ve noticed the urgency in Dick’s voice, but all he hears is how he sounds out of breath and how his name sounds when it’s breathed in a whisper like that and it’s a damn good thing Dick speaks up before Wally goes in for another kiss, because this has already ruined enough. “Wally, I think they’re gone.”
“Right,” says Wally, and drops his hands, taking a step back from Dick. “We should, uhm—”
“Yeah,” says Dick, and it’s too dark to see the look on his face and Wally doesn’t spend time dissecting the tone of Dick’s voice. “Let’s get going.”
“Yep. On the move. Moving.”
“KF,” starts Robin, and he’s so used to the warning tone laced with amusement that he can pretend everything is totally normal.
“Alright, fine. Shutting up.”
Later, they’re asked how everything went. They both reply “Fine” at the same time, and Wally excuses himself as soon as possible. He can’t say whether he’ll ever make eye contact with Robin again, because he certainly hadn’t that night.
M’gann stops him as he’s leaving and he makes the mistake of saying “I have to give a hand to a close personal friend,” before bolting. He pops his head back around the corner as soon as he realizes and whispers “Never tell anyone I said that, please. Please.” M’gann nods, although she looks puzzled, and Wally sighs in relief.
Jesus, what had possessed him to say that phrasing?
( Even it was true.
Especially since it was true. )
Three weeks. Three weeks of awkward stares and short conversation. They do fine on the mission they’re sent on, because somehow, it’s easier to be Kid Flash and Robin than it is to be Wally and Dick, but when they’re at Mount Justice, they just can’t do it. Dick has spent a lot more time patrolling with Batman, and Wally knows his studies aren’t keeping him away like he says when he’s there. He doesn’t question, though, because he’s avoiding Dick just as much.
It’s been a long three weeks.
“Hey, Kid? Can I talk to you?”
Wally looks up from his book, and Dick doesn’t wait for a response before shutting the door behind and taking his sunglasses off, tucking them into his pocket. Wally forces a grin. Dick doesn’t smile back, and Wally’s stomach ties itself into knots.
“Yeah, sure dude, what’s up?”
Dick takes a deep breath, and sits down beside him, and doesn’t look him in the eye. There’s a couple seconds of silence, and then Wally speaks up again.
“First thing is that I’m not a blackout drunk. In fact, I have a pretty excellent memory when intoxicated.”
Wally opens his mouth to ask how that’s relevant at all, and then snaps it shut, looking at Dick with wide eyes. Dick stares straight ahead like he’s talking to the wall, shoulders set— he recognizes that look, because it’s a Robin look. This is what he looks like on defence.
“Second,” continues Dick, “I crossed a line when I kissed you at Christmas.” Wally is about the interrupt when Dick shushes him. “No, I know you said you’re good. For me, I mean, because I wasn’t going to make any moves while you were clearly not interested, and then I did it again during that dumb game of Truth or Dare and honestly, I was pretty good— you thought it was nothing so I pretended it was nothing— and then you kissed me.”
There’s a beat of silence, and Wally can’t do anything more than stare at him. Dick is still staring at the wall, Wally is staring at him, and it feels like forever before Dick speaks up again.
“Wally, will you say something, because it took a hell of a lot of courage to come talk to you about this—”
Wally starts laughing, and he knows that’s not the right thing to do and he knows how easily it could be taken the wrong way, but he’s laughing, laughing, and he can’t stop laughing. Oh god, they’re so stupid. They’re so stupid. The stupidest.
“Wally?” Dick’s finally torn his eyes away from the wall, and Wally can’t stop laughing. Wally rubs his eyes and looks at Dick, and it’s the stony look that sobers him up, because he’s known Dick long enough to know that he’s upset. And if he doesn’t speak up fast enough, Dick will try to take it back and everything will be more ruined, and he really can’t put up with this avoiding each other for much longer.
“No, no no, I’m not— Rob, I’m not laughing at you,” he blurts out, before Dick can get a word in edgewise. “I’m laughing because I can’t believe you— when I— I though you didn’t like me, and I’ve been avoiding you, and oh my god, this is so dumb.”
Dick blinks at him, and Wally notices, like he does every time he can, how blue his eyes are. Then Dick’s eyes widen in realization, and he starts laughing too.
“Oh my god. You have a crush on me?”
Wally turns scarlet, despite having just admitted it (or as good as), and sputters over a response, but Dick is still laughing.
“This better be you saying you have a crush on me or I’m resigning from the team and moving away,” says Wally. Dick keeps laughing, and it’s devolved from his trademark cackle into silent laughter as he tries to get his breath back to reply to that. Wally can feel the laughter coming back, just because Dick is laughing, and it’s always been a contagious kind of sound. Dick leans onto Wally as his laughter dies down, and Wally swings his arm around Dick’s shoulder. There’s another couple moments of silence, and then Wally says, “That was a real concern.”
“Do you want verbal confirmation?”
“Well, it would be nice— ow!” Dick’s elbowed him in the stomach, and then laughed at him. Wally tries to hide his grin and says without thinking, “You’re an asshole of a boyfriend.”
“I’m your asshole of a boyfriend,” says Dick instantly.
Wally, despite spending hours thinking about kissing Dick, finds that he’s fairly content to sit here, with his arm around him, and laugh.