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We Were Infinite

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He felt hot all over...

Almost like that feeling he had when he was eight and he caught dragon pox, but more pleasant. There were soft, warm lips on his neck making his skin tingle and the hair on his arms stand on end. He moaned as those lips found his own and let his hands wander over narrow hips. Teeth caught his bottom lip and he gasped, allowing a sweet tasting, slick tongue enter his mouth. He could taste tea and honey and chocolate. Then lips were gone and he felt more empty than he had in his entire life. Until he saw them...those bright, inhuman amber eyes...

Sirius Black woke up with a start, panting heavily and covered in sweat. 

"Fuck." 

-

 

He had been having these strange dreams for weeks now, and he had been trying to deny what they were. He decidedly chalked it up to the potion doing strange things to his mind. That must be it. The typical hormones of a fourteen year old boy, mixed with an intense potion that was meant to cause extreme changes to the human body and mind, plus all the focus on Remus to motivate himself for said potion...

That was normal, right? 

"Have either of you been having weird dreams since we took that potion?" Sirius asked quietly as they followed Mr. and Mrs. Potter through Kings Cross to the platform. 

 James and Peter glanced at each other and then back at Sirius. "No." 

"Why? What kind of weird dreams are you having?" James asked, adjusting his glasses. Sirius was never so happy to see the barrier between platforms 9 and 10 before, and he took the opportunity to run ahead of his friends and cross through to 9 3/4.

It didn't give him much time to think of an answer, as James and Peter appeared behind him within seconds. They said their goodbyes to James' parents and walked towards the train.

 "So," James grinned and nudged Sirius with his elbow. "Are they good dreams? Cause I've got to tell you, Sirius. That's not the potion. That's puberty, mate." He wagged his eyebrows and Peter laughed.

Sirius scowled at them. "Would you stop? Forget I mentioned anything." 

 "Oh so they are that kind of dream then!" 

"I mean it, Potter." Sirius growled. 

 "Were they about McKinnon?" Peter asked eagerly. "You've got to tell us, Sirius. That's what friends are for."

Sirius huffed. "You two are literally the worst, you know that? Honestly, don't you have your own bloody fantasies to think about without having to mooch off of mine? And what d'you-" He frowned. Both other boys' eyes had gone wide and their jaws had dropped. "What are you gawking at?"

"Remus!"

 Sirius felt his heart stop. Did they know? Had he somehow given it away? "W-what about Remus?"

There was a low chuckle behind him and a familiar, yet different voice said. "I'm behind you, you prat."

 Sirius spun around and came face to....chest with Remus Lupin.

His own mouth fell open and he had to actually tilt his head to meet Remus' eyes. He took a step back. The other boy was just over a head taller than him now, his jawline had gotten stronger and he looked like he had spent a decent amount of time in the sun this summer, giving him a much healthier glow than Sirius was use to seeing on him. It wasn't helping Sirius' current predicament at all.

Remus was snickering to him self, undoubtedly amused by his shocked friends. "Er...Hey lads."

 "Aw, ickle moonykins had a growth spurt!" James teased with a grin. "See, Sirius? You're not the only one that's getting beat with the puberty stick."

Remus rolled his eyes at James and gave Sirius a quizzical look. "You alright, Sirius? You're staring."

 Finally shaking himself out of his stunned stupor, Sirius glared at the...very tall and suddenly quite broad werewolf. "What on earth did you do this summer? Were you injected with...with giant's blood or something? What are you...? How did you...?" 

Remus raised an eyebrow "Does my height personally offend you, Sirius?" he smirked. 

"Sirius is just jealous because you got tall and all he's got is wet dreams." Peter grinned, causing James to nearly double over with laughter. 

Sirius' face heated up and embarrassment curled in his stomach. His eyes narrowed the other two boys. "James still sleeps with his stuffed lion at home!"

 James' laughter died immediately, but Peter and Remus roared.

Sirius smirked, crossing him arms in satisfaction. "His name is Gordy and sometimes when James is asleep he sucks on the ear -oof!" The wind was knocked out of him as James sucker punched him in the gut.

 Remus wiped tears from his eyes. "Alright, alright...we're going to miss the train. Let's go." He walked ahead of them and boarded the car. The four of them found their usual compartment and took their seats just in time for the train to start.

"So other than James' bedtime buddy and Sirius'...special dreams..." Remus said coyly. "How was your summer?" 

James and Sirius both scoffed and sunk down in their seats. 

Peter gave Remus a quick runaround of their summer at the Potters', skirting around the details of brewing a dangerous and illegal potion in the back shed of course. Remus told them about his own summer. He had gone for a short trip to the shore with his parents, but he spent most of the holiday helping his elderly neighbor work in her vegetable garden. That would explain the tan, Sirius thought, and the...well...let's just say Remus wasn't quite so scrawny anymore. He watched Remus' lips as he talked and his tongue darted out to wet his own as the dreams from the last few weeks flooded his mind. 

 "Sirius?"

He jumped. "Huh? What?" 

 "I asked if you had heard from Marlene at all over the summer?" Remus asked, frowning slightly. "Are you alright? You look flushed..." 

He nodded. "Oh yeah, I'm brilliant. Just-" 

 "Anything from the trolley, dears?" Smiled the plump witch, pushing the cart of treats.

"Yes!" Sirius said, practically jumping from his seat and plunging his hands into his pocket for some money. Safe.

-

As the train pulled into the station, Sirius felt dread wash over him. Arriving at school meant attending the feast, and attending the feast meant sitting at the Gryffindor table. And Marlene would obviously see him and want to know why he hadn't answered any of her letters over the summer.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Remus asked him for the third time as they climbed into a carriage. "You've seemed out of sorts." 

 Sirius chewed anxiously on his lip. "...I didn't answer Marlene's letters all summer." He admit. 

Remus knitted his brows together. "Why not?" 

 "I've been trying to get him to talk about it all summer, Remus." James said, shaking his head. "I kept telling him this was going to happen. It's not like you can avoid her now that we're back, Sirius." 

"I know, alright!" Snapped Sirius. "I fucked up. I get it." he looked miserably out the window of the carriage. "Maybe I'm just not cut out to be someone's boyfriend."

 "Don't be silly," Said Remus, giving him a reassuring smile. "It was only your first shot. It doesn't mean anything."

He supposed that Remus was right. But it didn't make him feel any better about the whole thing. They hopped out of the carriage at the front of the castle and as luck would have it, there stood Lily, Mary, Dorcas and of course, Marlene. He held his breath, preparing himself for the worst, but the girl just smiled brightly at him. 

 "Hi Sirius." 

Sirius blinked. "Er...Hi Marls. Um...Nice summer?" 

She tucked  a long strand of dirty blonde hair behind her ear and Sirius noticed a flash of silvery metal through the pale flesh there. That was new. "Yeah, it was great. You got my letters?" 

He swallowed and nodded, shifting awkwardly on his feet and rubbing his neck. "Yeah, listen, Marlene...I'm sorry I didn't write back. I just-"

She laughed lightly and shook her head. "It's fine, Sirius. Really. I understand. No hard feelings, I promise." She leaned in and kissed his cheek and felt felt himself relax. "See you at the feast then?" 

Sirius' lip twitched up in a half smile. "Yeah, see you." And he watched and she and the other girls entered the castle.