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We Were Infinite

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What is wrong with me

Lily took a long sip from her third strongly spiked, and admittedly delicious, drink as she gazed across the crowded common room. 

 The party, like anything the Marauders set out to do, was loud and energetic and thriving. The common room was packed with what most definitely was every Gryffindor student, plus a great deal of Hufflepuffs and a handful of Ravenclaws. Music was blasting from the record player. The sound of Marlene and Sirius' combined, drunken voices carried over all of the party noises as they gave quite an entertaining, and slightly off key, performance of Queen's Somebody To Love, much to Dorcas and Remus' embarrassment. 

 Some first year girls were still shrieking after they had reached into a bowl of Ice Mice only to find that there was a live rat among the sweets, which quickly scampered across the table and disappeared. Now the girls, recruiting the closest elder student, Hufflepuff Emmeline Vance for assistance, were frantically searching for the rodent while Peter, who seemed to have shown up out of nowhere, looked on with amusement and a distinctly proud smirk. 

 And yet, above all the commotion (and the exceedingly dramatic duet from Sirius and Marlene) Lily couldn't stop staring across the room at Mary.

Mary had her shiny, reddish blonde hair pulled back in a high ponytail and away from her pale, lightly freckled, round face. She was wearing a slinky, black velvet dress with white knee high socks and a pair of black Mary Janes. She had very little makeup on, just some shimmer that made her look as if she were flowing in the light of the fireplace, some soft purple shadow that made her brown eyes pop, and pink lipstick. She looked very pretty tonight. Not that Mary wasn't always very pretty, but she looked somehow different while she laughed at Marlene and Sirius, her arm linked around James Potter's. 

 Potter, Lily noticed, wasn't watching the two drunk Freddie impersonators at all. He was watching Mary laugh, and he was smiling at her. Apparently he thought she was very pretty tonight as well. 

 Well, good then. She thought to herself, tearing her eyes away from the pair of them. It's about time Potter got out of my hair and became someone else's problem.

 She lifted her cup to her lips and frowned slightly, discovering that it was in fact empty. "Bugger." She muttered. She glanced back to the table where the punch bowl was set up. She had a feeling if she stood and walked over, the alcohol that Sirius had undoubtedly dumped into the refreshment would begin to take effect. She could feel the heat in her cheeks. 

 "Having fun?" 

Lily nearly fell off her chair. "Merlin, Remus!" She clutched at her chest. "I didn't know you were behind me!"

Remus chuckled and leaned on his elbows on the high top table that Lily was seated at. "Sorry. You seemed like you were off in your own world. I know how much of that punch you've had," He smirked knowingly at her. The same 'I can see right through your lies' look he used when younger students were caught out of bounds and trying to give him all sorts of excuses. "I just wanted to make sure you were alright."

 "I'm fine." Said Lily, her voice going an octave too high. She cleared her throat and told herself that the heat in her face was still completely alcohol related. "Sorry," she smiled at him. "I'm fine, Remus. Why wouldn't I be?" 

Remus shrugged, taking a swig from the beer bottle he was holding. "Sitting here all alone, staring off into the distance with this frustrated look on your face like you can't figure out some sort of complicated Arithmancy equation. It's a party, Lily. Mingle." 

She sighed, looking longingly down at her empty cup. 

 "...Lily?" Remus' deep voice sounded both amused and concerned. 

"Sorry," She mumbled. "S'empty." 

She heard him snort and knew without looking that he was rolling his eyes. "Now that is a problem, isn't it?" He offered his arm to her and she took it. As she stood she was pleasantly surprised that she didn't get nearly as bad a head rush as she thought she would have. She leaned on Remus' shoulder regardless as they crossed the room to the punch bowl. 

 A couple of second year boys that had been congregating around the refreshment table froze when they saw the two prefects approaching. 

 "It's a party, lads. We're off duty." Said Remus. "However, I strongly suggest giving it a second thought before you set off those fireworks...We may not be doling out detention tonight, but that would certainly draw Mcgonagall's attention. And you wouldn't want to face the wrath of your classmates if the party got cut short and the whole house got detention, eh?" 

 A guilty expression passed over the younger boys' faces and they mumbled an apology as Remus held his hand out and they reluctantly forfeited the explosives. 

Remus gave a smug smile as he watched the underclassmen run off, looking defeated and disappointed. 

Lily laughed softly. "You're so good at that." 

 Remus chucked and shook his head. "I've lived with James and Sirius going on six years. I can always tell when someone is planning to blow something up." He looked around for a moment. "Hey Pete," 

 A few feet away, Peter paused his snogging session with Emmeline to acknowledge Remus. "Yeah mate?" 

Remus grinned. "Catch." He tossed the firecrackers he had nicked from the second years to his friend, who caught them and gave a questioning look. "Just don't let Sirius have them unless you clear it with me first, yeah?" 

 "Right. No explosives for Padfoot, got it." Peter smirked. He excused himself from Emmeline and headed up to the dorm to hide them. 

 Lily watched as Remus busied himself with pouring her her drink. She hummed softly. "I'm surprised you're not over there watching Sirius' little show." She nodded to where Sirius and Marlene were still rocking out, adding ridiculous dance moves to their performance.

A strange look passed over Remus' face and he licked his lips as his eyes briefly locked on his boyfriend. Maybe it had been her imagination but she thought she saw him shudder. "Er..." Remus looked back down at the punch bowl. "I needed to get away for a moment I suppose." 

 Lily frowned. "Are you two alright?" 

"Yeah," It was Remus' voice that cracked and gave up his pretense this time. "Er...I mean...we are, really. I think I'm just...going through something personally, that's all. It's nothing he's done." 

 "Anything I could help with?" Asked Lily, feeling truly concerned with just how anxious Remus had become so suddenly. 

He shook his head. "I don't think so...I-I think it may be related to...y'know." 

"Oh." Lily said softly, her eyes drifting to the window where the nearly full moon was shining bright in the night sky. Remus cleared his throat for her attention and handed her drink to her. She accepted it wordlessly.

 "Can I ask you something?" Remus asked after a few moments, his eyes following her gaze which had at some point found Mary and James once again. They were no longer watching Marlene and Sirius, but talking quietly amongst themselves and standing too close to be considered casual. "Lil?" 

 Lily shook herself. "O-of course, Remus. Anything." She smiled. 

"Does it bother you that James asked Mary out tonight?" There was that bloody know-it-all-Lupin look again. "Humor me, I need a distraction." His voice rumbled low in his chest as his eyes locked back on Sirius. He was dancing quite provocatively, and was clearly doing it on purpose to get his boyfriend's attention. In the back of her mind Lily wondered just how the boy managed to move at all in such tight jeans. 

Remus took a deep breath and forced himself to look at Lily instead. 

 Lily sighed, perhaps it was the alcohol she had consumed or maybe Remus just had some sort of psychic ability to force people to tell the truth...

 "It does." She admit quietly, looking down at the liquid in her cup.

"Why?" Remus asked.

She shook her head. "I don't know." It wasn't a lie. She really had no idea what was bothering her about the whole thing. 

Remus took a moment to consider her answer. "Would you like me to ask him not to pursue it further?"

 Lily choked on her punch. "What?" She coughed. "N-no. Why? Potter can date whoever he wants, obviously! It's not like I want to date him or anything."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Isn't it?" 

"Of course it isn't!" She insisted firmly. "Don't be ridiculous, Remus. Me and Potter? Could you imagine?" She laughed at the idiocy of it. "Besides, don't you think I've had plenty of opportunities to go out with him? If I wanted to, it would have happened already." 

 Remus nodded, a small smile playing at his lips. "Right. Of course." He shrugged. "I was only asking, because-" He stopped short, his words catching in his throat and his eyes going wide. Lily frowned and followed his line of sight.

 "What-? Oh...!" 

-

What is wrong with me? 

Remus thought desperately as Sirius sauntered over to him, his sharp grey eyes fixed on him and a devilish smirk on his face. The song had changed, but Sirius, ever the center of attention, was still singing along. 

"I can dim the lights

And sing you songs full of sad things

We can do the tango just for two-"

Normally Remus would find such a display completely embarrassing. Sirius was no stranger to dramatics obviously, but Remus usually had no problem either tuning them out completely or shooting them down, finding a guilty pleasure in the pout of disappointment he would draw from the other boy. But even as he told himself how ridiculously tacky Sirius' little seduction game was, he found himself unable to move or even breathe as Sirius got closer.

"I can serenade and gently play

On your heart strings

Be your Valentino just for you-"

 Remus swallowed hard past the lump in his throat, heat prickling up his neck to his cheeks as Sirius pushed him, with very little effort, against the wall of the common room. Everyone was watching them. How could they not be? 

"Ooh love Ooh lover boy

What're doing tonight hey boy

Set my alarm turn on my charm

That's because I'm a good old fashioned lover boy-" 

Remus could feel himself trembling, fighting to control the urge to flip their positions and pin the other boy down as Sirius pressed hotly against him, his too-bloody-perfect body moving against his own to the music. 

"Ooh let me feel you heartbeat

(Grow faster faster)

Ooh can you feel my love heat

Come on and sit on my hot seat of love-"

Of course Sirius had turned now, being sure to grind his arse, which was so wonderfully highlighted by those blasted tight jeans, against Remus. If this continued much longer, Remus was going to have a much more humiliating problem for the whole common room to see...or worse. Every fiber in his body vibrated with the need to throw Sirius down and-

"Sirius," He growled softly, his hands moving to grip the boy's swaying hips with an almost bruising pressure. "Enough."

 Sirius turned again in his arms to face him, a satisfied smirk playing at his lips. "Why? You've been ignoring me for hours. Had to get your attention somehow didn't I?" He was still moving along to Freddie Mercury's voice. 

 "Oh, you've got my attention." Remus uttered threateningly. His voice sounded distant and strange in his own head. It didn't seem to phase Sirius though. He pressed closer, his lips brushing against Remus' ear. 

 "You're loving it, Moons. Just let loose and enjoy yourself for once." 

Remus looked around quickly. Everyone else seemed to have gone back to their own business. Marlene had managed to drag Lily off to dance with her, having lost Sirius has her partner and unable to convince Dorcas to join. No longer in the spotlight, Remus grabbed Sirius' chin and kissed him roughly and with more force than he intended. 

Control yourself. He thought firmly. But as if by its own accord, his voice said: "Upstairs. Now." Huskily against Sirius' lips. 

Sirius moaned, pulling away slightly to grin victoriously up at Remus. "I don't know what's gotten into you lately, but it's sexy as fuck." He grabbed Remus' wrist and pulled him eagerly towards the stairs and up to the dorm, closing the door behind them. No sooner had the door's lock clicked before Remus shoved Sirius against the wall and continued the assault on this mouth.

Sirius gasped in surprise, but it quickly turned into a loud groan of pleasure as Remus' hips ground insistently against his own. Sirius began to fumble with the button on Remus' faded, low hanging jeans until Remus sharply nipped at his lower lip, grabbed both of his wrists with one hand and pinned them above his head.

 This was not unfamiliar to Sirius. With only three days until the full moon, he had come to expect a rougher and more dominant side of Remus. And even though he knew that it made Remus a little uncomfortable to allow himself to behave in what he viewed as an animalistic manner, Sirius couldn't help but enjoy it. 

A lot. 

So much that he often taunted and teased the werewolf until he could draw this side out of him. He figured it was good for Remus to give in to those urges and that trying to hold back too much was probably not healthy. Sirius trusted Remus, and he wanted Remus to trust himself as well. He was human, after all. He wouldn't hurt him.

 Remus had already pulled Sirius' black t-shirt over his head and tossed it aside. The hand not securing the shorter boy's wrists raked down Sirius' chest, leaving vibrant red marks that Sirius would secretly be proud of the following morning when he saw them in the mirror before his shower. 

 Sirius arched his back, his hips bucking to find friction against his boyfriend's as their lips and tongues continued to slide hotly together, swallowing every moan and gasp and breath from each other. 

 Remus popped the button on those ridiculously tight jeans that Sirius so shamefully wore, undoubtedly because he knew exactly what they did to the werewolf, and roughly yanked them down past his slim hips. No underwear of course. They probably wouldn't have fit under that bloody skin tight denim anyway...it took an extra few seconds to peel them down his legs and Sirius nearly tripped trying to kick them off.

 "Heh, sorry." Sirius muttered sheepishly as he finally managed to rid himself of the clingy denim. 

Remus quickly shed his own clothes and pressed against him again, nuzzling the scratchy stubble of his jaw and letting his hands roam all over Sirius' body. "Don't know why you insist on wearing such inconvenient things anyway..." 

 Sirius chuckled, melting into the touch. "Because they make you act like this when you see me in them..."

 Remus growled softly against his ear. "You haven't the slightest idea what makes me act like this." I don't even know what's making me act like this... He thought anxiously. It was just an echo, deep in the back of his mind and barely even coherent through all the lustful fog and the raw, predatory instinct that he normally only felt as the wolf. 

One of his hands reached around to give Sirius' arse a squeeze and he took a step back. "Get on the bed." 

 Sirius went happily without hesitation. He made quite a show of slowly crawling onto Remus' bed and laying across it, propping himself up on his elbows and smirking at the werewolf. To Sirius, this was just normal, sexy play. He had no idea how little control Remus had at the moment and how hard he was fighting to regain even an ounce of it. He didn't understand that for the last couple of months, every time Remus pulled him into a deserted class room to shag or sunk to his knees under the Quidditch stands to taste him, it was because he literally couldn't resist. He needed to feel, touch, smell, taste, fuck Sirius in those moments or he felt he may actually die...

He probably should have told Sirius what was going on...

But he hadn't wanted to admit it. It felt too...primal. Inhuman...

 He stood at the edge of the bed, eyes hungrily taking in the gorgeous sight that was Sirius Black, so willingly offering himself to him. 

 Take him. The low, snarling voice that Remus usually shoved into the deepest, darkest corner of his head demanded. 

 Remus crawled over Sirius' body, hovering above him and staring down into his lust filled, grey eyes. He licked his lips as Sirius' hips bucked up to find his own. Remus grinned. 

 "Eager, aren't you?" 

Sirius laughed softly. "Aren't I always?" He wiggled his hips teasingly. "C'mon, Moony...I'm all yours..."

Something about what Sirius said pushed Remus over the edge. His eyes narrowed and he reached up, grabbing a fistful of Sirius' long hair and yanking his head back, exposing his beautiful pale throat and making him cry out softly from shock. 

 "Are you, now?" Remus growled, ducking his head to lick the column of the other boy's throat and fuck, he could literally smell Sirius' blood. It made him dizzy, almost drunk with desire and hunger.

 Sirius moaned in response, his hands fisting the sheets under him. "You know I am, Remus." He breathed shakily. 

 Do it. The voice filled Remus' head again and he desperately wanted to shake it off. He wanted to stop. This wasn't him. 

But it is you.

He slid his free hand between their bodies to stroke and tease between Sirius' legs and reveled in the way his lover arched up to his touch. 

You want it. You want to taste him.

"Remus..." Sirius moaned as Remus' fingers entered his body. 

He's so willing.

Remus nipped softly at his neck, the scent of him too strong and tempting...

Do it!

"Remus...?" Sirius' voice wavered a little as Remus' teeth caught his skin again, a little sharper than usual. 

Mark him. Make him yours!

The hand in Sirius' hair tightened and pulled his head back again and Remus growled before sinking his teeth into the creamy, white flesh. 

His senses were in overload. His ears were ringing and his mind was completely blank. Everything around him seemed to have paused, or was at least moving very slowly.

The coppery taste of blood brought everything crashing back to reality.